The Marauder Chronicles

Part six: The Potion

"Jealousy will always lead to thy own destruction."

Potion lessons with the Slytherins were, well, the same. The year was progressing smoothly, as it did usually. Nothing strange seemed to be going on at Hogwarts, nothing to exciting or mysterious, just the same daily jabber of students wandering around and learning occasionally. December rolled in with a thick blanket of snow and a chilled breeze. Quidditch practice lost a little thrill due to the fact that many players had to thaw their hands off of their broomsticks.

Sirius wasn't having much luck with the dating game. It seemed that he became a bit pickier now that he had a model to look up to. But that was a good thing.

Remus on the other hand was doing well with Liz Banks. They were not an item like Lily and James, but the two were very happy. Remus spent most of his time with her. She was an attractive young girl with strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, and a lovely smile. Sirius was getting a little bitter about all of this.

Even Peter, short, stout, jittery Peter was enamored with a sixth year Hufflepuff who was a female version of himself. This left Sirius, the tall handsome specimen of a man, single and alone. James was quick to pick up on this and told him not to worry. Sirius took to hanging around with James, Lily, and Jade Yang, Lily's best friend. It wasn't bad at all quite the contrary; Sirius liked spending time with them. Things almost seemed to be going better than usual.

Looking back, Sirius would laugh at his panic phase when James got together with Lily. Instead of losing a friend, as he thought he would eventually, he gained one.

On Wednesday Gryffindors had potions with the Slytherins down in the dungeon; their least favorite class. Professor Wicks wasn't too bad, it was the atmosphere of the class and that they shared it with Slytherin that was the problem.

It was also by far Snape's best class. Professor Wicks always showed Snape's potions as the example of what to do, which he was very proud of and he took to gloating about it to nearly everyone.

"Look at him," James said to Sirius who was sitting to the left of him. "You'd think he found some sort of cure to a horrible disease with that attitude."

"What an ugly-" Sirius began, but Lily interrupted him.

"Sirius, shhhh," she said putting her pointer finger to her lips and giving him a stern look.

"Hey, James was talking too, why don't you shhh him?" he said to her quietly. She looked at him with a, "I cannot believe you even said that to me, how dare you" look on her face. Sirius looked away from her sorry that he said it. James started to snigger.

"James, try to contain yourself, please," Lily said to him.

"Yeah, James. How am I supposed to hear anything over your fit of the giggles?" Sirius added sarcastically. This only made things worse. People around them had been listening and found this funny and began laughing. Lily couldn't help but smile a little.

"Excuse me," Professor Wicks said to them. "Do I need to separate the three of you, or are you going to quite down and listen to my lesson?"

"Sorry Professor," Sirius said. Wicks kept on talking about Veritserum, the truth potion, when Snape started whispering to Douglas Lacy. Sirius elbowed James and pointed at Snape and Douglas. "What do you think they're up to?" he asked.

"I have no idea, but it doesn't look like they're up to something noble does it?" James asked in a hushed voice. Lily looked over at them again.

"What is so important that you need to disrupt class?" She asked James.

"Them. Snape and Lacy are up to something," James said to her. She rolled her eyes at him.

"You guys are so paranoid," she said to them. "They're whispering the same way you two whisper to each other during class."

"That's right Lily, and when we talk like that, we're up to something," James said. He turned to look back at Sirius. "So what do you figure?" he asked Sirius.

"Definitely something."

"We should check it out. Maybe we should have Peter follow them around, you know?" James whispered very quietly, leaning over to him so Lily could not here them.

Snape turned and looked back at James and Sirius. They saw him, stopped whispering, and stared right back. Snape smiled with his thin curled lip, and his eyes narrowed as he looked at James. James gave him a hard searching gaze. Snape was trying to tell him something without saying anything at all. But what? James just kept staring, until Lily snapped him out of it.

"Will you pay attention, James?" she asked him with raised eyebrows. He looked back at her and smiled.

"Relax, I'm not going to do anything to him," he said.

* * * * *

Later that afternoon they all split up. James, Lily, and Sirius were to have tea with Hagrid. Peter started studying with Fran, his new Hufflepuff friend. Jade Yang had to work on her charms homework, and Remus and Liz were going to go up to the library to do some potion research.

"He was up to something, Lily!" James said to her on their way down to Hagrid's hut. "Did you see the way he was looking at me?"

"You're so paranoid, James. Snape's not that bad," she said. "I know that you guys hate him, but he's just...well...a little different that's all, just different."

"You have no idea of just how different he is," Sirius said as he approached Hagrids' door. He knocked three times and waited for Hagrid to let them inside.

"Well there yeh all are," Hagrid said as he opened to the door. "I was beginin to think that yeh wern't comin."

"We would never cancel tea with you, Hagrid," Lily said smiling, and they all went inside the warm hut. It was nice to go into the cabin where a warm fire blazing and escape the cold icy weather which lay on the castle and it's grounds.

"So," Hagrid began, "what are you three doing for Christmas?"

"Going home, the usual," James said nodding his head.

"My family's taking a trip to Bermuda for Christmas and New Years," Lily said to Hagrid.

"And you, Sirius?" Hagrid asked.

"I want to go to Bermuda," he said longingly. "I'm just going home, you know. I have to see my family. Don't know if that's a real good thing, but that's what I'm doing," Sirius said, still envious of Lily's trip.

"Sirius, my sister is going too. I would trade with you, only you don't exactly look like me," she said to him.

The conversation was pretty basic; how's school, what are your plans for the future, good Quidditch match, bla bla bla. It wasn't until Lily started walking around the cabin when the conversation became interesting and controversial.

She picked up her tea and went to sit in Hagrid's big chair. In the seat, however, was Hagrids' crossbow and arrows. She looked at them with curiosity. She picked up the arrows, placed them on the table, and Hagrid came over and removed the crossbow. Then he started sorting through some books on wildlife.

"I didn't know you had a crossbow," she said to him.

"Hafta have it when I go out. Just in case, yeh know," he said nodding his head. Lily nodded also, showing that he knew what he was talking about.

"Have you ever shot anything with it?" she asked innocently. Hagrid stopped sorting through his wildlife care books and looked at her with a terrified expression. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes. James and Sirius exchanged looks of terror. This could be the end. As long as Hagrid didn't say when it happened, they would be safe and law-abiding Lily Evans would know nothing about their illegal secret.

"Hagrid, what's wrong?" she asked with concern.

"Oh my gosh! Would you look at the time," James said jumping out of his seat and moving over to where Lily was sitting. "We should go. It's getting late," he said to her with a nervous smile.

"No, James," she whispered to him. "Hagrid's upset about something and it's better if he talks about it. Can't you see he's in pain?"

"I'm sure that he probably doesn't want to talk about it. Now lets go," James said to her, taking her hand and pulling.

"No, it's alright James," Hagrid said wiping his black, beady eyes. "I wanna to get it off my chest."

"That's good Hagrid," Lily said reassuringly. "James sit down," she commanded and pulled him down so he sat just to her left.

"Well, it's bin botherin me fer a long time, now," he began grabbing more handkerchiefs.

"Yeh have to understand, I didn' mean ta hert 'im," he wiped his eyes with a blue hanky and resumed. Sirius gave a concerned glance to James who was beginning to sweat.

"I shot a buck," he said. Then he let out a huge sob. "'E was the mos' beautiful thing I ever saw. An' I shot 'im," he blew his nose. James and Sirius were hoping that he would stop and leave Lily thinking that he killed it, but then she spoke

"Was it alright, Hagrid?" she asked with great sympathy. Sirius put his hand to his eyes.

"I 'ope so. I only shot him in the left shoulder. Do yeh think 'e might be alright?" he asked.

"He could be just fine, Hagrid," she said to him smiling. James sensed that there could be an opening for him to escape out of and he shot for it.

"You know, Hagrid," he began, "animals can survive with almost anything in any circumstance. He's probably out there romping around as we speak."

"Do yeh think so?" Hagrid asked with hope.

"Yeah," Sirius joined in. "Yeah Hagrid, he's probably even found a pretty doe." Sirius laughed at his joke inside. James looked over at him with a disgusted look on his face that said all to well "don't push it."

"When did it happen Hagrid?" Lily asked. James could have vomited. Sirius was feeling weak in the knees. Maybe she wouldn't figure it, out they both thought. But Lily was exceptionally bright.

"I remember it like 'twas yesterday," he began. James sat back in his chair to prepare for the blow. "I was drinkin. I shouln't 'ave. Then I went outside and a werewolf came at me. I pulled out an arrow and loaded it. I aimed for it, cause 'e was comin fer me, and then I shot, only the beautiful thing ran in front," then Hagrid sobbed deeply.

James rolled his eyes, Sirius held his breath hoping that he would forget to say when it happened.

"Hagrid, when did this all happen?" she asked again, concern in her voice.

"Last Friday night of September. It was so horrible," and he sobbed in his handkerchief. Lily went over to console him, but he pushed her away. She went back and sat next to James who was chewing his fingernails. For a while he thought that she hadn't put the two together, but then an enlightened look spread across her face like a flood.

"That was the night you and I..." she said to James. Then she stopped and looked around at Sirius, who had true panic spread all over his face. "Did you say the left shoulder?" Hagrid nodded. She put it together. She smiled slyly, leaned back so that her shoulder was touching James, and breathed in deeply.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Hagrid," she said cooly. "I'll bet anything he's alright. Don't you think James?" as she said this she grabbed his left shoulder and squeezed rather hard.

"Just out of curiosity, Hagrid, were there any other animals there, besides the wolf and the buck?"

"Hagrid," Sirius interrupted, "we have to go. Homework you know," he started for the door, James tried to get up, but Lily took his hand and pulled him back down.

"Were there, Hagrid?" she asked again more firmly this time.

"Now that yeh mention it, yeah a rat an a big black dog were there. Kinda strange now that I think of it," he said bewildered.

"Hagrid, Sirius is right; we have to go. It's been nice chatting with you. We should do this again," James said hurriedly.

"Yes, we must go; lots to discuss," Lily said. She got up and hugged Hagrid, though still keeping hold of James; she didn't want him to get away from her. "The buck's fine. I know it. At least he was, I don't know about now. See you around Hagrid." And with that last jab at James and Sirius, the three left the cabin.

"So," Lily began on their way up to the castle, "care to refresh your story about how you got an inch diameter hole in your arm, or should I just assume the worst?" she asked in a daring tone.

"Look," James said, "it's kind of hard to explain. I can't really--"

"You're a clever boy, James," Lily interrupted, clearly upset. "I don't know what kind of person you think I am, but I am no where near stupid. It all makes sense now. Spare me the secret squirrel stuff. If you want me to continue our relationship, then I suggest you tuck your masculine pride away and tell me your secrets."

"Lily, wait just--"

"Do you know the difference between friends and lovers, James? Friends have secrets, lovers have them told to them," and with a stern and determined look, she left them standing there in the middle of the snow with their thoughts.

James watched her stomp through the snow up to the castle. She was quite angry, he thought. He turned to look at Sirius for some kind of response, but he looked somewhat torn. James had promised his three friends that he wouldn't tell anyone about their secret, including girls. But this, this was different. Wasn't it?

"Sirius, what do you think?" James asked him slowly.

Sirius looked at him, then at the Lily who's shape was shrinking as she made her way for the castle. "Well," he began, "this is a tough one James. On the one hand you have your three best friends that you swore to that you would never tell a soul about our little secret. On the other hand you have the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with, who has an awfully good point."

"But she already knows. She knows that was us. So I didn't tell her," he said trying to find reason in the situation.

"James," Sirius replied like a father to a son, "she does know. But what she wants is for you to tell her. She wants the whole story, why it happened, how it happened, what's going to happen, et cetera. She wants to hear it from you personally, not Hagrid."

"So I tell her?" he asked.

"This is your call," Sirius said starting for the castle himself.

"No. You are not going to leave me hanging like this. What should I do?"

"I don't know James. All I can tell you is that I never told a girl no matter how pretty she was."

"This is a bit different, Sirius! Please be mature about all of this. I need your advice. I know that you have an opinion, and I would like to hear it."

Sirius stopped walking and faced him. He had a searching look in his eyes, but also full of concern. "You know her. You've known her over five years better than the rest of us. But I know that good secrets travel fast. Let's say you tell her, the entire story, unabridged. She promises you that she won't tell a soul. Only as soon as you leave she tells Jade because Jade won't tell, she's her best friend. Jade tells Liz, who tells someone else and a chain of events occurs. You tell Lily because you don't want to lose her. But now the secret is out and your in Azkaban without her, because she just told one person."

James stood there not having a clue of what to do. Sirius was right, Lily was right. This truly stunk in his mind. There was no winning. He trudged back up to the castle with his mind still working hard to come to a logical solution.

Meanwhile back at the castle, Liz and Remus were busy looking up potions in the library for a school project. So far they weren't having much luck finding one they could research. Wicks had given them permission to look in the restricted section for useful potions to find. He gave them a specific warning to not use any potions for personal use, which was a little bit of a shame because some of the potions would be very advantageous.

Remus and Liz were looking in the "I" section for invisibility potions when they heard an all too familiar cold voice coming from the section adjacent to them.

"It has to be here somewhere," Remus heard Snape tell Douglas Lacy. Lupin was too curious to let this by. Liz didn't approve of spying in most circumstances, but in this case she was all to willing to drop in an ear to hear what Snape was looking for. Remus moved a large book from the "J" section so that he could see Snape better. He was on the opposite shelf site looking in the "L"s. Douglas was becoming frantic looking for something as if his life depended on it.

"I wonder what potion they're looking for," Liz whispered very quietly in Remus's ear. He shrugged to show her that he had no idea. Douglas and Snape kept pulling book after book off the shelves looking fast and hard for the perfect spell.

"Severus?" Douglas finally said, "I think I found it." Douglas was looking in a very large and old maroon book whose binding was frayed and falling apart. Snape went over to his side to look inside the book. He smiled a cruelly as his eyes moved from left to right, reading the potion.

"This is it, Douglas. You found it." Then he reached inside his bag and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. "Read me the ingredients, quickly though, I don't want people knowing that we did this, or it will all be for nothing."

Remus and Liz strained to hear more, but what they really wanted to hear was the book and page number so they could read it later.

Douglas read the ingredients to Snape: 14 Lace wing flies, 3 newt's eyes, feather of a song bird, tulip petals, red ones. Fluids from the red rose, wolfsbane...the ingredients got increasingly rare. Neither Remus nor Liz had ever heard of these things being used in a potion before. But the really interesting stuff was left 'til the end.

"Here's going to be the tricky part, Severus. Listen to this," and he lowered his voice. Liz and Remus leaned closer. "You're going to need a braid of her hair. How are you going to get that?"

"We'll worry about that when we need to. Is that all?" he asked looking up from the parchment.

"You also need a bit of his hair too, and I don't know how you're going to get that close to Potter without him noticing you."

Remus and Liz looked at each other with shocked expressions. Remus wished Snape and Douglas would leave so he could see what potion was. Yet no matter how he looked at it, it couldn't be good.

"And you need a bit of the new one. That's you. It's the last thing added; that is very important Severus. You have to add hair from your head as the very last ingredient, twenty-four hours after the rest have stewed over fire. Then you have to place ten drops in her drink. Good luck there," Douglas said flippantly.

"How long does it take to go into effect?" Snape asked.

"Well, from four to six months. It goes slowly so that no one knows about it. It will look natural. But sorry to say Severus," Douglas said with raised eyebrows, "there's a huge difference between you and him. People are going to know that something's up."

"I don't care. Is that all?"

"Yes," said Douglas as he was about to close it. Severus put his hand up.

"What's the page, in case we need to look again."

"1432," Douglas said as he closed the big book. He smiled at Snape, who grinned back at him. Snape folded the parchment carefully and placed it in his robe pocket. Then the two left the library walking a little taller.

As soon as the door closed and Snape and Lacy were gone, Liz and Remus sprinted to the shelf.

"It's the big maroon one," Liz said to him as he was reaching for it.

"I know which one it is, thanks," he said as he pulled it off the shelf and placed it before them. He opened quickly to page 1432. What met their eyes was a terrifying shock.

Liz looked at Remus, trepidation on her face.

"What are we going to do?" she asked him.

"We can't tell anyone but Sirius. He'll think of something to do."

"But what about James? What do we tell--"

"No," Remus interrupted. "No, we can't tell him. Not anyone except Sirius. Do you understand? If we tell James he'll take matters in his own hands. Remember he already has a short fuse when it comes to Snape. You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone; not Jade and certainly not Lily. No one can known. Alright?" he asked with arched eyebrows.

"I promise."

Remus could tell by the expressions on James and Sirius's faces that something was up. James looked very pensive and Sirius looked concerned. About what, Remus could not tell. He had to tell Sirius about the potion that Snape was planning to stew, but he couldn't tell him with James around; it would make things ten times worse. He didn't have to wait for long for an opportunity. James just went up to the dorms and shut the door behind him. Sirius sat at the table and took out his books, but didn't read them.

"What's going on?" Remus asked him. Sirius looked up and signaled for him to sit down. He did so and Sirius spoke.

"Hagrid spilled the beans to Lily about what happened. You know?" he said in a hushed whisper.

"Oh no. So she knows about us?" he asked.

"Yes...and no. She made it very clear to James that if he wants to stay with her, then he'd have to tell her everything about us. She was part of it that night, so she probably feels she should be privy to it. But he would have to tell her the whole story. I don't think he's ready to do that."

"So are they...well...you know?" Remus asked cautiously.

"No. This all depends on what he wants to do. I don't think any of us should interfere, though it includes all of us. You know what I mean? This is his territory; it's between him and her."

"Do you think he should tell her?" he asked leaning closer.

"Yeah. I mean I know all of us decided not to breathe it to a soul, and I told him that. But James and Lily have always been close and now they're a couple. It's all an issue of trust which they must have to continue the relationship."

"So you don't think she'd tell anyone?"

"No, she's very trustworthy. I told James what could happen if she did tell, but he has to trust her. He needs to do this without our help, as cruel as it sounds." Sirius looked at his book again and tried to read but sensed that Remus wanted to tell him something. He looked up at him. "Is there something else, Remus?" he asked.

"Yes, but you can't tell James," Remus said quietly. Sirius closed his book, stood up, and signaled for Remus to follow him outside. He did so. They exited the common room. They walked around the hallway then went into a deserted corridor so they couldn't be heard.

"Alright. What's up?" he asked.

"It has to do with Snape," Remus said, his hands shaking. Sirius nodded his head in the routine way. "And Lily," Remus continued.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. He looked up and down the corridor again, making sure that no one was there listening.

"What?" Sirius asked breathlessly.

"Liz and I were looking in the library, in the restricted section, and we heard Snape and Lacy right next to us talking about a potion. And they found this potion, copied the ingredients out of the book, and left. Liz and I looked it up and....it was bad, Sirius," he said quickly.

"What was it?"

"Lets just say Snape would be killing two birds with one stone if he used it. If he made it all work, James would kill himself; of that I have no doubt."

"Can you show me the book?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded. They went up to the library.

James didn't sleep well that night. Actually, when he thought about it, he didn't sleep at all. He thought it was a little unfair that she would place their relationship on one secret. A secret that was illegal and one he swore not to tell anyone. He could remember Remus telling him, back in their fourth year, that he couldn't tell Lily, no matter how much he wanted to. And he did want to tell her. But what if she did tell Jade? He knew, somehow, that she would never tell, but there was a little voice in his head that made him think other wise.

His father always told him that he knew Samantha was the one for him because he knew he could tell her anything and it would be okay. But his father wasn't an illegal animagus roaming the school and spying on the Minister of Magic. And his mother wasn't the perfect student like Lily seemed to be.

When he got out of bed on Thursday morning, he still hadn't come to an answer. He dressed slowly and went down stairs to realize that Lily had gone down to breakfast without him.

"James!" Sirius called from behind him, running down the stairs. He turned around to face Sirius, who was having difficulty with his tie for some reason. "Whoa," he said looking at him. "You didn't sleep did you?" he asked.

"No, I certainly did not," James said lazily. There were dark bags under his eyes and he was shuffling his feet instead of walking normally. "And she's not here waiting for me either. This is not a good sign," he said through a yawn. Sirius managed to fix his tie and proceeded to fix James's who clearly hadn't bothered. "Do you think she'll leave me if I don't tell her?" he asked fearfully.

"You know her a lot better than I do," he said in reply. "It wouldn't seem right if she did, though." He fixed his tie then they waited for Remus and Peter who came down minutes later.

"Where's Lily?" Peter asked. Remus and Sirius looked at him sternly. Peter looked away quickly.

"She's down in the Hall. Probably saying bad things about me to Jade," James said resentfully.

"You don't know that," Remus said. "She's probably not even talking about you at all, but about classes."

"That would be even worse; forgetting me entirely," he replied. "Let's not talk about it, okay? Can we just go down and not talk about it? I've been thinking all night and I'm tired of it." None of them argued. They went down quietly to the Great Hall for breakfast. Lily was sitting with Jade; she didn't look up at James as he passed her. She didn't look like she had lost a lot of sleep, he noticed. As a matter of fact she was laughing about something. He could feel the temperature in his face rising.

"James," Remus said, "don't worry about it so much. Everything will work out for you. I know you'll do the right thing. She's not going to break up with you over this," he said reassuringly and softly so no one else could hear.

"That's nice of you to say, but you didn't hear her yesterday," he replied. "Besides, I'm sure there are things she's not telling me, so why do I have to tell her everything? We," he said pointing to each of them, "tell each other everything because were best friends and we know no one would say anything. Right guys?"

Sirius and Remus exchange guilty glances. They did know something they couldn't tell James, especially now.

The bell rang at half past eight. The four of them got up and headed for transfiguration. It felt like they were fifth years, now that they were all walking together again. James could see Lily walking with Liz and Jade way up a head; she didn't turn around to look at him. This was very depressing, he thought.

Other people seemed to notice they were not together, and inquired about it. People asked if they were just fighting, or broken up, just spending time apart. Some guys asked if they could ask her out. Peter, Sirius, and Remus had to hold James back so he wouldn't hurt the curious guys.

They had a seating chart in McGonagall's, of course; the only class with one. It was a recent thing. Well, maybe not so recent. McGonagall had grown tired of yelling, "Black! Potter!" so she moved them to opposite corners of the room. James sat next to Liz Banks, Sirius sat next to Alan Timmons, Peter next to Jade, and Remus sat with Lily. James told Remus to ask Lily questions pertaining to his situation, which he agreed to, but told James that Lily did not talk in class, she listened. But he'd give it a go anyways.

"Today class," McGonagall began, "you will be quietly taking notes from chapters thirty-four, thirty-seven, and thirty-eight. What you don't finish in class is homework. No talking," and then she sat down at her desk, writing, no doubt, the next exam.

James turned to look at Remus and winked at him. Remus nodded his head. He kept reading, well appearing to read, but looked over at Lily. She was following the assignment; writing down important information as she came to it.

Remus cleared his throat to get her attention, but she didn't even glance at him. "Lily," he whispered. No response. Then he poked her in the arm. She looked up at him with an irksome expression.

She didn't want to talk.

"No, Remus" she said blatantly. "I won't tell you anything. Tell James I will talk to him when he is ready to be a man and tell me everything. Tell him that we shouldn't keep secrets in this relationship. That is all." And without another glance or word, she continued with her work as if she was never interrupted.

James tried his hand at Liz. "Liz, does she hate me?" he asked. She looked up at him and shook her head. "Is she saying bad things about me?" This time she shrugged. "You have to help me out. Put in a good word for me." She didn't do anything; she continued to read her book. "Liz, I know you can hear me. Tell me something."

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said. The entire class looked up from their books to stare at James. "I remember asking the class to study. Silently. You have not read a single word from your book. You have been warned," she said firmly.

James turned to his book. He wrote his name, date, and class on the upper corner of his parchment then he turned around to look at Lily. She was still taking notes. Remus looked up, saw James, and shook his head.

James mouthed to him "What did she say?"

Remus mouthed back, "Nothing."

"What? Nothing?" he mouthed again. Remus shook his head again. "Keep pushing," he mouthed again.

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said again, this time with a note of irritation in her voice. James turned around to face her; she looked upset. "It seems you cannot concentrate in class so you will do so in detention with me this afternoon. The next time you turn around, talk or move your lips, ten points will be taken from Gryffindor. Is that clear?" She looked down at him from her elevated desk, which would scare anyone.

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," he said like it was a routine. And due to the fact that the day would be much worse if he lost points and got a detention, he looked at his book and took notes.

Once class was over, James tried very hard to get Lily to talk to him, but somehow she was always just out of his reach.

This was awful. Sirius noticed James worrying and tried to steer him clear from a total breakdown.

"Don't panic. So she doesn't want to talk to you right now, big deal," he said nonchalantly.

"What planet do you come from?" James asked him. "Not wanting to talk to someone is a bad thing."

"Actually," Remus said, "she'll talk to you when you want to tell her...you know." James stared at him for a while, then shook his head.

"Can we go to Chambers class and not talk about this? Please, I don't even want anyone to mention her name. I'm already serving three hours in detention with McGonagall and I don't want anymore." They didn't argue with him, but walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts class without saying another word.

These seats were not assigned, so Sirius and Remus insisted on sitting together; James sat with Peter. He didn't really care who he sat next to as he was so deeply in thought about Lily anyway.

"What are we going to do about Snape?" Remus whispered to Sirius.

"I don't know," he said pensively. "Do you have any ideas, Remus?"

"No. I wish I did. If we told a teacher then he would deny the whole thing and resume play."

"Exactly. And if we tell James then he'll personally kill Snape. We definitely don't want that to happen."

"Even though they are on the rocks, James would beat him to a pulp," Remus said confidently.

"That's for sure," Sirius agreed. "We have to eliminate him and make it look like an accident. That way no one knows anything and Snape can't harm anyone ever again. You said they didn't know you were in the library?" he asked to double-check.

"Not a clue."

"So we have to think of a good way, a secret way, to get him out of the way."

James served his three hours in detention with a very grumpy McGonagall. She made him clean all the desks, the chalkboards, and the floors with out magic. Afterwards she told him the usual. "Try to stay out of trouble for once in your life." Then he left for the common room to find Remus and Sirius deep in conversation; Liz, Jade, and Lily giggling about something, probably him, he thought; Peter was hard at work on his transfiguration homework. James had completed most of his notes in class, as he was a fast study. But he wasn't totally finished. He took his book bag and sat across from Peter and puled out his notes.

"Peter," James said, "what are Sirius and Remus talking about?"

"They won't tell me," he said with a note of sorrow, "as usual. You guys always keep me out of the loop. I don't even know why you and Lily aren't talking. They won't tell me." He gave a manipulative and sorry face to James. He did feel a little guilty about Peter not knowing anything about it.

"Peter," James said with a slight smirk, "she's not talking to me because she wants me to tell her all of my secrets...all of them," he said with raised eyebrows.

"Are you going to tell her?" he asked very interested and glad that he was part of the loop again.

"I don't know yet, Peter. What do you think I should do?"

"I," he began but stopped. "It's your choice, but we promised that we would never tell anyone, and she's anyone."

James stared into his watery blue eyes for a few seconds, then went back to finishing his homework. He was really tired; he hadn't slept for over twenty-four hours and it was starting to take effect. It didn't take him very long to finish the minimal amount of homework he had too d for tomorrow's classes. As soon as he was finished, he packed his book bag and went upstairs to try to sleep. It was only 9:32 and most people were still awake, but he didn't care; he was beat.

As soon as he got into his empty dormitory, he changed and crashed onto his bed. Years from now, he would still regard this time as when he was the most tired, yet only second on the list when it came to having a hard time sleeping.

He tossed and turned all night. He couldn't fall asleep. He was so tired, why couldn't he just knock himself out? He turned to look at his watch, only it was blurry because he needed his glasses. He reached for what looked like them, put them on and saw that his watch read 1:18. He had been awake for about four hours, and he couldn't take much more of this. He knew what he had to do. It was clear to him now. He would want to know if Lily was roaming the school at night if she was an anamagi, so she too had the right to know, didn't she? So he promised never to tell. They'll understand, he would if they were in his situation.

He threw his sheets off of him, flattened his hair, got out of bed and went out of the door. He was just about to open it when he heard, "James?" from the far corner. He turned around and saw that Sirius was looking at him with a questioning face.

"I have to tell her, Sirius. I don't want to lose her," he whispered. He opened the door, exited, and closed it behind him. He looked across the hall at the girls dorms and thought of what to do. He was not aloud to go in there, but he had to get her up to tell her. He sighed, went to the door, and opened it. He peeked his head through the small opening; they were all asleep. He could find Lily easily; her red hair was a dead give away. He tiptoed over to her bed and saw she was fast asleep. Her ravishing face was lying delicately on her pillow.

Gently, he got onto the bed and laid beside her, just watching her sleep. He smiled at the sight of her and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Lily," he whispered. She didn't move. "Lily," he said again, moving his hand on her face. She stirred a little. He put his hand on her shoulder and shook slightly. "Lily," he said for the last time as she groaned quietly, slowly opened her eyes. She looked at him for a few seconds without doing anything. It took a while for her to adjust her eyes and accustom them to what she was seeing.

"You're not supposed to be in her, James," she said silently, her voice still soft and tired, her eyes closed. She didn't seem to mind that his hand was moving over her hair.

"I have to tell you now," he told her. She opened her eyes again then covered his hand with hers.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"About 1:30."

"Can we do this in the morning?" she asked lazily, her nose wrinkling up.

"No, I have to tell you now. I can't sleep until I tell you. It won't take long." But she still wasn't moving. James took the liberty of moving her. He put one arm around her waist, the other on her arm, and he began to pull her out of bed.

"James, no. Don't," but she didn't struggle at all. She let him carry her out of bed and out of the dorm. He set her down outside the dorm doors, but she wasn't ready. She fell onto him, her eyes sealed shut. He took her right arm and placed it on his shoulders, put his left arm around her waist, and walked her down the stairs.

"I'm so tired," she kept saying all the entire journey down and as he sat her on the couch in front of the blazing fire. He went and got her a glass of water to help her wake up; he brought it to her, sat on the opposite side of the couch, and waited for her to wake.

It took longer than he thought it would, but granted it was 1 in the morning. It took about seven minutes after he brought her down for her to open her eyes fully and recognize the fact that James was sitting next to her.

"Alright," she said more alertly. "I'm awake. Spill," she said leaning her head on her erect hand.

"Well, I don't really know where to begin. I've never told anyone before," he said looking down at his hands.

"How about I ask you questions to get you started?" she said.

"That'll work."

"Does this have anything to do with Remus being a werewolf?" she asked point blank.

James was shocked that she knew. Only they knew that. "How did you know--"

"James," she interrupted, "it really isn't that hard to figure out. I mean, he's always gone when there's a full moon and when he comes back he's tired and worn. And I would like to consider myself somewhat intelligent. So, does it have anything to do with that?" she asked again.

"Yes," he said slowly, still overwhelmed that she knew about Remus. But it was a little obvious, he had to admit, though Snape still hadn't figured it out.

"James, the story please."

"Right. Well, we all found out about him being a werewolf soon enough. We confronted him with the information and he admitted to it. Then he told us where he went once a month."

"Where did he go?" Lily asked. She had clearly been wondering about this for many years.

"There's a tunnel under the Whomping Willow which leads to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. He stayed there once a month for five years," James said, realizing that telling her wasn't so bad.

"But then the three of you..." she said twirling her hand in front of her signaling for him to continue.

"You have to understand that he hated it there. So, being the good friends that we are, we researched into becoming Anamagi."

"Even though it is a crime when your underage?" she said sternly.

"Yes, but we did it anyway because we wanted to, and you weren't the boss of me then," James said smirking. Lily smiled faintly. "We started looking into it when we were in our second year, and finally mastered it in the beginning of our fifth. We worked at it all summers in between.

"Once we got it down to a science, it was a cinch and a lot of fun, believe me. We roamed the school grounds, the school itself, and eventually we knew the ins and outs of Hogwarts so well we were able to make a map of the school, showing seven secret tunnels out of it. But wait, it gets better. The map can also show anyone at any given time and where they are. So when we go out, we know where Peeves, Filch, and Mrs. Norris are at all times and can avoid them."

"I want to see the map," she said with true curiosity and interest.

"Alright, I'll show it to you when I am done explaining, but you can't tell Jade or Liz anything about the map or anything else I've said," he explained. He was planning on going into further detail 'til she asked him questions.

"I'd never tell them. So what do the four of you do all night long?" she asked skeptically. He thought about this for a while before answering her. It appeared as though the whole Marauder thing wasn't really bothering her, so he decided to just let the whole thing spill.

"Actually, most recently we have been spying on big Ministry representatives, getting the latest news," he looked at her to see her expression; she had raised eye brows with a slight smirk.

"Heard anything good?" she asked, smiling.

"Well, you know...the usual. Do you want to hear the rest of my story, or the things we hear?"

"Continue please. Tell me what happened the night Hagrid shot you."

"Well," he began turning to face her, "everything was going as planned. We went to the village without being seen and sent Peter into the Hogshead pub to spy on the Minister of Magic. Peter went into the bar. Sirius turns into a large black dog, so he wandered the streets picking up information, though on that night he was entertaining a group of girls. I stayed on the hill over looking the village and keeping an eye on Remus. I got distracted from him, however, and focused too much on the activity in the village. I didn't see that Remus was heading down for the Hogshead just as Hagrid was leaving. Remus was going to attack him, and I had to go and stop him. It was just as Hagrid told it after that. He went to shoot Remus as I was coming to move him out of the way, only Hagrid's arrow hit me. It was a good thing to because the arrow was silver tipped and it would have killed him."

"How did you get back?" she asked.

"Walked slash hobbled. I fell twice but I make it back." Lily looked at him with her nose scrunched.

"Who pulled it out?"

"Sirius," he said quickly. "Which is really something because he gets sick at the mere mention of blood. It was really bad. Sirius and Peter went up to the castle and stole the medical supplies. They tried their best to fix it up, but as you saw, that wasn't good enough. And so we all went back up to the castle. That's what happened with that."

"So, every night there's a full moon, the four of you wander around God knows where getting into trouble because it's fun?" she asked skeptically.

"That's right, and I am going to continue to do it, I'll have you know," he said with authority. She looked at him with a sweet expression and giggled at his attempt to seem authoritative.

"What?" he asked blankly. She couldn't seem to stop smiling at him.

"Nothing," she said trying to contain herself. "So do I get to see?"

"See what?"

"You. The other you," she said.

"I would, only someone might come through the portrait door and see me."

"So get that map you're so proud of and make sure that no one's coming," she said with a manipulative smile, which he could never deny.

"Alright," he said with a long sigh as he slowly got off the couch and started marching up the stairs. He pushed his dormitory door open and quietly snuck inside, being careful not to wake anyone. He went over to his trunk, lifted it, and pulled out the map and his wand. Then he went back downstairs to find Lily still sitting there in front of the fire.

"Here it is," he said to her showing the blank parchment.

"You have it locked, don't you?" she said standing up and taking it in her hands.

"Of course. We don't want anyone seeing it so consider yourself lucky," he told her. "You need your wand to open and close the map. Just say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' as you tap it and the map appears."

"How original," she said then took his wand, placed the map on the table in front of the fire, and said "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." She couldn't help but grin broadly as she rehearsed this. Then, very slowly, where her wand touched, lines emerged, cris-crossed, and spread to every corner of the first blank parchment to form the Marauders Map.

Lily dropped her jaw when she gazed down at the pure genius that went into this map. She turned to look at James again, who was clearly enjoying her surprise.

"James this is amazing!" she said picking up and examining it closer. "I don't approve of course," she told him, "but pure genius nevertheless."

James could tell she did like the map and the idea, but wasn't ready to lower her perfect student facade just quite yet. He knew there was a playful side inside of her; he'd seen it, but she had a habit of hiding it.

"Here we are," he said pointing to two small dots labeled 'James Potter' and 'Lily Evans" found inside the Gryffindor common room. "And it looks like McGonagall is asleep in her room, and Filch is in the trophy room chasing Peeves. So you keep an eye on anything that comes around our tower, okay?"

"Alright," she said excitedly taking the map and sitting back on the couch. He moved in front of the fire and felt as though he was about to do a dance or something. She sat there eagerly waiting for him to transform; her eye's were bright and her grin was broad.

"Okay," he said. "Just remember that this took three years to perfect, and only three seconds to do." Then he smiled just on more time then snapped his fingers. The silver wave swept from his head all the way down to his feet. James was no longer standing in front of the fire, but a strong, handsome stag instead.

Lily stood up, her mouth open in amazement. She walked over to him. "Oh my gosh!" she said in excitement. Goose bumps were beginning to show on her skin. "James, you look magnificent!" She raised her hand, ready to touch him when she stopped. "You do understand me, right?" she asked.

He nodded his head and approached her. He did look magnificent. He was very muscular, with a rich tan coat, and tall antlers atop a very handsome head. He had large, dark, glossy eyes, in which she could see her reflection, and a protective demeanor. She reached out her hand and touched the top of his head. She smiled widely and started to walk around him. Then, still being the fun loving James, he started to walk around her.

"James, stop," she said laughing. He stopped walking around, but went to look at the map which Lily left forgotten on the table. He looked down on it, saw nothing, but also saw nothing in looking like this in the common room. He transformed back without effort into his own self and looked at a very cheerful Lily.

"That's awesome James!" she said with much enthusiasm. He couldn't help but smile. He had never showed anyone before, and he was very glad that he'd shown her. It was only right that she knew about him.

"I'm glad you liked it," he said to her still grinning. "But you don't approve, right?" he asked her. But she did not frown, she just smiled, giggled and blushed shyly.

"No?" he asked her surprised.

"I have a dark side too, you know," she said with a sinister grin.

"Do you have secrets, something you haven't told anyone else?" he asked sitting down again.

"Well," she started as she sat next to him, "there is one thing, not even my family knows about it. I haven't told anyone here either."

"So let's here it," he said anxiously, turning on the couch to face her. She looked at him, then she also turned herself so that she completely faced him.

"When I was about six, I started doing ballet without my parents knowing about it," she said. James looked at her horrified.

"You started doing drugs when you were six?" he asked astonished. Lily laughed manically. "No," she said through her laughter. "Ballet is a dance in the Muggle world. It's very popular."

"I don't get it," he said. "Why would you start something and never tell your parents. Are you bad at it or something?"

"No, it's just that I wanted to do something for me. It seemed as though everything I did was an accomplishment for them, not me. So I would go down the street everyday to my neighbor's house. She was a single woman, living alone. I would keep her company all day, and she would teach me ballet. I asked her never to tell my mother and father; they already thought I was a prodigy or something because I could do magic. I just wanted something that I could keep to myself, and dancing was the answer."

"That's really special, Lily," he told her. "Ballet, huh?" he asked. "I don't suppose you would be willing to show me what it looks like. I have never seen it."

"Oh James, I would, but I don't have ballet shoes with me. I need the right shoes to dance...sorry," she said taking his hand.

"Fine," he said in mock irritation. "I transformed into a stag and you need the right shoes. Fine by me." And he yawned, leaning back onto the couch. Now that he had got if off his chest, he would be able to sleep again.

"So that's it, right?" she asked, making him open his eyes.

"That's the end. The next full moon is the day after tomorrow, or wait," he pulled up his wrist and looked at his watch. "Sorry, the next full moon is tomorrow. We'll be heading out again."

"Do you have any more secrets, or anything else you want to say?" Now that she mentioned it, yes he did. It did seem like the ideal moment. He had just told her the smallest details of his secret life at Hogwarts, shown her even, and she gave him the key to her heart. It seemed right that he tell her now.

He looked into her eyes again and smiled, this time a bit nervously. "There is something," he said slowly taking both of her hands. "Something I should have told you long ago."

"What is it James?" she whispered.

He looked down at her small, delicate hands resting in his. "I've never done this before. But it's really not that difficult to say." He looked back up at her, she had a small innocent smile on her face. "Lily," he said to her, her eyes brightened even more than they already were. "I love you," he said softly yet full of strength. She looked at him with a twinkle in her eye, like she wanted to cry but was far to happy to shed a single tear. "I have for six years, and I should've told you long before now, I just--"

"I knew," she said beaming at him, all her brilliant white teeth sparkling in the firelight. "I knew all along. You know, a lot of girls think that Sirius is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and they would want to go talk to him. So many of them drug me along with them for confidence. But I would never mind going if you were with him. I never saw Sirius, never saw what was so great about him, why girls fell over just looking at him. I always loved you. And I love you now and for all eternity, James," she said squeezing his hands.

Now he could feel himself swelling up inside, looking starry eyed as he gazed upon her. "I love you so much," he said in a gentle whisper, leaning his forehead on hers and shutting his eyes. "So very, very much..."

"Oh, God I love you. More than life itself..." she whispered back. Both of them were very quiet, leaning their heads on each other, eyes closed as if dreaming.