Harry Potter and the Purple Abyss

Chapter 1: A demon vision

Look in my face, stare in my soul

I begin to stupify

-Disturbed

In the year 2003, an evil uprising was put down in England that could have threatened the whole wo! rld but for a few wizards and witches. But there is much more to the tale than what happened that year. To understand that, you must go back years.

Many years, and across and ocean, to an small Muggle town in America, where the whole dastardly plot went to seed.

*****

It is 1990, and we are following a man home. He does not notice us, but we do him.

We shall call him "James". "James Bean". This is not to protect the innocent, you understand. You could hardly call him innocent. But you might call him helpless, a pawn in a scheme of Satan. So we will use this name, to spare his future lineage from the shame that came with the creating of this evil.

James Bean had returned from a long Friday of work at the sewing factory. He had a wife, and was a father to a retarded child. He worked hard to keep "Jane" and "Derek" from poverty. He made barely enough money to buy them food and clothing, but he knew that it was his fault. Inwardly! , he cursed himself for majoring in Home Economics. What kind of living could you make from majoring in that?

Anyway, he was walking home pondering an event from that day. It had been so strange.

*****

He was sewing together a purple blanket for some child when the buzzing of the machine lulled him off to sleep. As he fell into a deep slumber, a shape emerged from the murky dregs of his mind. What was it? he wondered. It didn't seem to have a definite form. Wait, no…is it a bird? No, some sort of lizard..a fat, pudgy lizard. A…purple lizard.

From the depths of his brain a word from his childhood emerged.

Ah yes. Dinosaur. It was a pudgy, fat dinosaur. And it looked like a carnivorous one.

Ah well, he sighed inwardly. At least I am dreaming. I won't die.

But the dinosaur didn't look like it was hungry at all. In fact, it seemed to be…smiling? Dancing? And…was ! that…no…could it be…singing?

But yet it was. The pudgy beast was dancing and singing. I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.

No doubt about it. It was definitely singing.

But as he tried to grasp it, to hear the rest of the song…

"BEAN!"

It jerked him awake.

"BEAN!". And toward him strode a fat, portly man. His boss, Thomas K. McDougall, or MR. Thomas K Mcdougall to you.

"Yes, sir."

"Don't 'yes, sir' me, Bean. You know damn well what you were just doing."

"What, sir?"

"Sleeping, dammit. You were sleeping on the job. You could have sewed up your hand or worse, ruined the blanket."

How nice to know you care, thought Bean sarcastically.

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you, dammit. One more time Bean, one more time, and you will be fired and out the door faster then you can say 'My uncle Barney'."! And he stormed out.

Barney, thought Bean, what a nice, unassuming name. But he shook himself out of his stupor. If he was fired, he couldn't get a job anywhere else; he'd be blacklisted as a sewer. He went back to his sewing and pushed the dinosaur out of his mind. And there it stayed, until-

******

"Dada home!". The words echoed out of the mouth of little Derek's pudgy face.

"Say, don't I know you?" said Bean to Derek, grinning.

"Uhhhhhhh…" said Derek, screwing up his face with the effort of thinking.

"YES!" With that, Bean scooped up Derek and brought him chuckling into the house.

"How was your work today, dear?" This was from Jane, Bean's wife of ten years. She was a nice looking in an almost pretty sort of way, and the shared common interests.

"Oh, the usual. McDougall getting on my case again for dozing off."

"Dear, you really shouldn't do that. If! you were to get fired…"

"I know, I know, but the guy is such an asshole…:"

"Asshole, Asshole!" This came from Derek.

"Now James, look what you taught Derek."

"It's OK, I can fix it." Bean bent down to Derek's level. "Derek, if you ever say that word again, a big, scary, mean…dinosaur…will come and eat you up."

"Uhhhhnooooo." Derek buried his face in his hands and crouched on the floor. "Never say that again, Derek not say again, Derek be a good boy, Derek do a good job."

*****

That night Bean was unable to fall asleep. Whenever he shut his eyes, he saw, as if in a vision, that purple beast rising up from the ground to sing and dance. He tossed and turned and tossed and turned.

At around midnight, with the realization that he would not get to sleep, he got up and went downstairs. He took out of the closet a box of scraps from the factory, and began to sew.

*****

Little Derek woke up that morning, and was frightened. A big fire was burning in the sky. Then he remembered, oh, that is just the sun.

He untangled himself from his myriad of sheets with some difficulty, then stumbled downstairs. He found at his spot at the table, along with the normal bowl of oatmeal, some sort of doll.

He picked it up and examined it. It was a pudgy thing, almost as big as Derek's head. It was purple, and had a big mouth. He searched for the word in his slow mind, finally finding it.

"Ahhhhhh!" he dropped it like a red hot stone and crouched on the floor.

Bean came running in. "What happened, Derek?"

At first, Derek was incoherent in fright. "Iwascomingdownandisawthedinosaurandidnotsaythebadwordireallydidn'tandit'sgoingtoeatmeHELP!". With that, he crouched on the floor whimpering and shuddering.

Bean looked at the doll in his hand. He remembered what he had told little Dere! k yesterday. "Derek, I’m sorry." He said to the crouched figure on the floor. "I didn’t mean to scare you. This is a doll I made for you. It just looks like a scary dinosaur. But it isn’t. It’s just a doll."

Derek looked at the doll. It wasn’t so scary after all. Actually, it was kind of cute. He hugged him. "What’s his name?" he asked.

Bean thought for a moment. Then a name came swimming up from the depths of his mind. "Barney", he said.

Derek hugged him even closer. "Barney," he said, "Barney the Dinosaur."

*****

The rush wasn’t immediate. Derek brought Barney to his 1^st grade classroom the next day for show and tell. The kids in his class loved it. Soon, parents were calling him up and asking for Barney dolls for their kids. He charged a few of dollars a doll, and made a fair profit. Word of mouth worked well in his town, and soon family of the townspeople were calling ! up. Soon he had plans drawn up for accompanying characters. He had enough money soon enough to quit his job, lease a small office space and some sewing machines, and start his own business called Barney and Friends.

A year later, his business now in it’s own factory, a representative from PBS came to his house. He opened a briefcase full with money.

"I’ve been sent here to buy the rights to Barney the Dinosaur from you." said the representative. "My company is offering you 5 million dollars. And a spot on our senior staff for the rest of your life or until you choose to retire."

Bean’s jaw dropped. He had never seen so much money in his life. Or such a good deal. He could sell his idea now, and still make money off it for a long time to come. His mind was made up in an instant. "Deal," he said. They shook hands and signed a contract.

And we all know where it went from there.

*****