Hermione Granger and The Secret Fire

Chapter 16-Coming clean

Hermione entered the suite to find Draco sitting on the couch in front of the fire. He was looking at her pensively and Hermione had no idea how to apologize for their earlier misunderstanding.

'Why do all of our heart-to-heart talks take place on this couch?' she thought, wryly, as she crossed the room to sit next to him. He continued to eye her coolly.

In Hermione's mind's eye, she knew she looked foolish every time she was with Draco. He was so confident, so certain of himself. He was the Slytherin Sex-God, after all, even after all he had said. She, however, always felt nervous, embarrassed and insecure.

But she couldn't help feeling content and captivated just by looking into his eyes.

Hermione was trying to think of the right words to say, when Draco grabbed her and forcefully kissed her lips. He leaned on her and she felt his tongue start to ravish her mouth. In all honesty, it felt very good to Hermione. He ran his hands through her hair and a soft moan escaped from his lips.

Hermione felt her body giving up to its primal needs, but she forced herself to not let that happen and she pushed Draco away from her. Something about this was not right.

Draco stared at her, confused and ashamed. He buried his head in his hands, sighed deeply and made a whimpering noise as the air came out of his lungs. Hermione knew that her behavior that day had been hurtful to Draco and she was starting to hate herself for doing that to his affection. But something about the way he savaged her had not been right. There was not even a 'hello' or a 'how are you' before he jumped on her.

"Draco?" Hermione called softly as she saw different emotions cross over his face as he lifted it to look at her. She decided to listen to Misten and try and explain her feelings to him while she still had the nerve.

But Draco interrupted her train of thought with a sentence that nearly broke her heart. "My father is right. I'm evil, Hermione. You should stay as far away from me as possible."

Hermione stared at him, wide eyed and confused. "Draco! That's not true and you know it."

"All Malfoys before me were aberrant and immoral, Hermione. It's in my blood. I can't change that," he said, grimly.

"What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?" Hermione said, in confusion, pain and disappointment. "Did I do something? Is this about before, because I wanted to tell you..."

Draco interrupted her by yelling out in aggravation. He bounded off the couch and started pacing, reminding Hermione of Harry's antics earlier in the evening. His change in behavior scared her and renewed her mistrust of his actions.

"Where were you before, Draco? When you left earlier, where did you go?" Hermione asked, not really suspicious that he had been in the dungeons with the other Slytherins, because Professor Dumbledore had told her he was otherwise occupied. But she needed to hear the words from him, if only for her own peace of mind.

"What? I was with Snape. I had some things...I needed to discuss," Draco said, running his hand through his hair. But realization crossed his face and he said, "I wasn't with the other Slytherins if that is what you meant. I heard a rumor they were recruiting. I am not stupid enough to be there with them while they make fools out of themselves. Did you honestly think I would have been there?"

"No," Hermione quickly covered, "I just wondered where you went." And even though it was a small white lie she added, "I had to meet with Professor Dumbledore and I was surprised you were not there."

Malfoy continued his pacing, not really hearing her lie about being surprised of his absence.

"Draco, why are you being so secretive? First you get a note that you won't share with me, then you go to 'discuss things' with Professor Snape," Hermione said and then her voice turned malevolent. "What, am I only good enough to talk to when there is no one else? Am I a fine substitute for the small things while the big, significant things get to be told to someone more important?"

Draco looked at her incredulously and his eyes cut into slits. His voice was deep and menacing when he answered, "You think me telling you that I abandoned my birth rite was a minor piece of news? That me turning my back on my family and become a spy for that old...coot..."

"Careful, that 'coot' is our Headmaster!" Hermione yelled, just as angry.

Draco dismissed her argument with a hand wave and continued, "...was just a small part of my life? Where have you been the last two months, Hermione? I have been sharing every fear, every abuse, every...everything. I've done nothing but confide in you!"

Draco looked at her and shook his head. "You are supposed to know that already, Hermione! You know that this is hard for me, damn it. I have explained this every way I know how. I told you I am no good at this. I can't believe you are coming at me with this."

"Then what the hell do you want, Malfoy, because frankly, I don't have a blasted clue!" Hermione shouted, jumping off the couch and stood by the fire, gathering strength from its heat before continuing.

"The whole year has been like this! One day you treat me as if I'm the most important person in your life and the next day you treat me like the Mudblood you think that I am! I'm sick of this bloody game! I can't take it! I'm just so... exhausted," Hermione's voice trembled in emotion, cracking a little at the end.

"Do you really want to know what I want?" Draco said in a scarily eerie-calm voice as he walked closer to where she was standing. "Do you want to know the truth, Hermione?"

Both of her eyes widened, not in fear or in surprise, but because she wanted to add emphasis to what she wanted to say. "YES!"

"I don't think you get it, Hermione! My most compelling fear, the thing I dread the most, is that you are going to come to your senses one of these days. You are going to come to the conclusion that I mean nothing. That you were playing with me, just like my father has done all my life. I am tired of being used for fun and for games. This time I want to be loved!" Draco cried insistently.

Hermione watched Draco as he spoke and all of her anger receded. As he poured his heart out to her, all she wanted to do was hold him and never let him go. Instead she grabbed his hands and held them to her chest. "Draco, I have to tell you something. I should have told you before this but I didn't know how or when or where. I do love you. I have been terribly afraid to admit it, even to myself. I didn't want to be the first to say it because I didn't want to look stupid in front of you. But it is true. I, Hermione Granger, am deeply, head over heels, in love with Draco Malfoy, heart, mind and soul."

She hoped her words would make him feel better. Letting go of his hands, she grabbed his face and started peppering kisses all over his face, chanting softly, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

But Draco stopped her and stormed across the room, getting as far away from her as possible. His voice remained low and filled with pain as he said, "I don't deserve you. I'll just destroy you eventually, like my father has to me. I am terribly afraid, Hermione, that I am destined to do just that.

"My father has told me more than once that women are prizes. Get them to do anything for you and you'll have an excellent, devoted, slave. Maybe he had been right. We both have the same evil Malfoy blood running in our veins. It's a sinister, stained blood. I can't be good. It's impossible."

"You're not evil, Draco. You are self-centered though," Hermione joked trying to lighten his mood and was rewarded with a weak smile from Draco. "Well, come to think of it, not exactly self-centered but definitely conceited. And I love that about you."

"You shouldn't," he said softly.

Hermione quirked her head to one side, furrowed her eyebrows and asked in confusion, "What?"

"Love me," he said, even more softly.

"Well, I do. I have no choice in that matter." Hermione approached Draco carefully and held him. "I love you, Draco Malfoy. For who you are, for who you have been, for who you'll be."

Hermione and Draco stood in the common room for several minutes, not saying a word to each other. They clutched each other as if they were the only two people in the world.

It never occurred to her, as they were standing there, that he had not returned her words of love.

~*~

Two weeks later, Hermione found herself being summoned by none other than the Potions master for a pre-holiday meeting. Christmas vacation was still almost a month away, but his note said he wanted to discuss their 'arrangement' before it came too close.

Hermione was quite excited with the prospect of getting to work with Professor Snape on a top-secret potion. Her parents had been very supportive when Professor Dumbledore had explained the privilege that was being bestowed upon her and, for once, she was looking forward to being in the potions classroom more than just for class. Her friends, although not as excited as her parents, had been equally supportive after grumping and grumbling about how she had been punished for having a perfect potion.

Draco had been the most thrilled and encouraging of them all. He had owled away for a book called, The Apprentice: How to remain yourself while at the mercy of another by Delaney McAdams. The book was helpful, but quite scary if Hermione thought about it too much.

So now it was a Friday night and Draco had said he needed to get some revisions done with Misten in the library. She was still worried about his mood and how he had been acting as of late. Since their heart to heart, Hermione had made it a point to remind him of her love as often as she could. The fact that he did not repeat the words bothered her slightly, but she understood the entire emotional crisis he had been forced to deal with his entire life and was determined not to pay too much attention to her nagging insecurities. Knowing that her boyfriend would be in good hands with her best friend provided some comfort.

Knocking on the classroom door, Hermione found her stomach was in knots over meeting with her esteemed teacher, but was not surprised when a silky voice yelled only one word, "Enter."

Hermione walked in and found Professor Snape working over a cauldron. He did not bother to turn around when he asked, "What do you want? State your business or get out!"

"Professor," she began, "I am here to discuss the arrangements of our working together. You sent me a note to come see you."

At the sound of her voice, Snape visually stiffened. He finished adding the ingredient to the cauldron and spun around to face a very nervous and, in all honesty, partially terrified Head Girl.

"Ah, yes, Miss Granger. Do sit or are you planning on lecturing me on the finer points of your potion making skills?" Professor Snape said as he strolled to his wide desk and sat at the stool behind it. His eyes were dark, like miniature black holes and they were boring into Hermione as if they were mining for gold.

Hermione took a shuddering deep breath and tried to look confident and more in control than she felt. She walked over to his desk, and instead of taking his offered seat, she decided to remain standing so that they were eye to eye.

Hermione began speaking at once. "Professor, I understand from Professor Dumbledore that we will..."

However Snape interrupted her with a firm and demanding, "Sit down Miss Granger and you will speak when spoken to, unless you have forgotten the rules of this classroom."

"I'd prefer to stand, if it is all the same to you. Since we are here to discuss the apprenticeship and not your class, I do not feel I should have to wait," Hermione responded with a tone much more self-assured than what she felt.

Snape's eyes closed to slits as he continued his stare. "I promise you, Miss Granger, that if you continue in this way there will be no apprenticeship.

"Now have a seat!" he bellowed in a voice that was certain to scare even the bravest of students.

Hermione grabbed one of the benches and sat on it, willing him to say anything more.

"Now," he continued when she had been sitting for a few moments, "You were summoned here so I could clarify some issues with you. The first one being that I did not ask for an apprentice, nor do I want one. However it is the belief of the Headmaster and the Ministry of Magic that your skills are up to par. From what I have seen in class, I am not certain I agree."

Hermione snorted her disagreement and stared at the man she had revered so long. What had she been thinking?

Snape either did not hear her snort or ignored it and continued. "We will be working on a potion to make it safer for other Order members to sneak in and out of certain places, undetected. This will require quite a bit of work from you and I want you to spend the next few weeks researching ways to do this."

"But, Professor," Hermione said as she realized what kind of a time commitment he was asking her for, "the Headmaster had said this would not be starting until Christmas break and with my Head Girl duties and other classes, I am not certain I can devote the time and energy it would take to do proper research."

"Miss Granger, if you do not feel up to the challenge of an apprenticeship..." Snape said, with a small bit of glee seeping into his eyes.

Hermione jumped to her feet and interrupted him by saying, "No Professor. I did not say I didn't feel 'up to the challenge', I was trying to explain that I am quite inundated with work from my..."

Snape glared at the woman before him and said, "SIT down, Miss Granger. I will not have this kind of outburst in my classroom."

Hermione flopped into her seat but challenged him with, "Why do you keep saying 'in my classroom' as if I am coming in as a student. If I am here to be an apprentice, it would make me closer to an equal than a student."

Apparently, those were the wrong words to say to a very overworked and well-underpaid teacher. "You are a seventh year student and will be regarded as such in this room until you graduate in June," stated Professor Snape, his voice dripping with contempt, "Therefore, all classroom rules will apply if you are to be working in here.

"You will do the research over the next month and provide me with some suggestions before the beginning of winter break, that I will not be required to take. You will begin to regard this as a school assignment and will treat it with the respect it deserves, or you will not have an apprenticeship here," he threatened. "Is this understood?"

Hermione could do little else than narrow her eyes in anger and disgust. Taking a deep breath so her voice would not betray the anger and resentment she felt, she answered, "Yes, sir."

~*~

As Hermione left Snape's office, she was enraged by his impudence. The gall of the man to insinuate that she was just a child! She had to begin her research early or he wouldn't allow her the great and glorious privilege of being his slave? He was so infuriating!

All she wanted to do was go back to her rooms and take a long, quiet bath. Thankfully she did not have rounds tonight and she was quite sure Draco would not be around. She could slip into the tub and wash away all her woes.

As she arrived at the portrait of the Mime Priestess, none other than Millicent Bulstrode interrupted her thoughts.

"Well if it isn't the Mudblood who lived-to-show-everyone else-up! How's your perfect little potion coming? It isn't bad enough that you are Head Girl and the top of our class, but now you're stealing Snape away from his rightful place with the Slytherins. You should make a nice pair with your Gryffindork boyfriend. Or are you shared by all the impotent boys up there?" Millicent said as she saw the Head Girl in the hall in front of her.

"What are you doing here, Bulstrode? I am not in the mood for you. You're supposed to be completing rounds with Nott," Hermione said knowingly and ignoring the daft girl's insults. "Where is he?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but he ran a last minute errand for Draco. I am waiting for him and then we can get away from here. Suddenly the stench in the air has grown quite foul," Millicent responded as the Portrait opened and Nott came out.

Looking between the two girls, Nott pulled on Millicent's arm and said, "Let's go."

Hermione growled in frustration and walked into the common room. Immediately her senses were assaulted by the scent of lavender and roses. The entire room was glowing by the light of at least a hundred candles and there were rose petals scattered all over the floor, up the stairs and covering the furniture. Draco stood before her in his best dress robes with a long stem rose between his teeth. The beauty she saw before her took Hermione's breath away

Hermione's breath quickly left her as she surveyed the scene. Draco withdrew the rose, handing it to her, and said, "I wanted to do something special for you."

Gathering her into a fierce hug, she responded, "I love you. Oh, I love you. I have had a horrible night and this...I love you."

As Hermione held Draco in her arms, she was amazed to realize that she was not scared or feeling insecure in any way. She had told Draco she loved him, he had not said anything in return and yet, somehow, she was happy, content and fulfilled.

Draco pulled away from the hug and softly kissed Hermione's mouth. It was a passion filled kiss that was gentle and sweet. They stayed locked in a kiss for several minutes, before her hormones began to kick in. She took his hand and tried to lead him back to the couch.

Draco began kissing her again, and pulled Hermione up the stairs into his private suite. She felt herself being backed into the bed and she landed on it with a nervous giggle. Draco pounced onto the bed and grabbed her in a warm embrace. She groaned in pleasure and his hands began roaming all over her body. He ran his hands up her arms using just the tips of his fingers, giving Hermione goose bumps. As his hands followed her curves back down her body, he gently brushed over her breasts, causing her to heave them towards him and sharply breathe in.

Draco softly laughed and pulled away to ask, "Does that feel good?"

Hermione was so pleased to see a smile on his face and so enraptured by his scent, his body and the way he was making her feel, she couldn't answer in words. Instead, she deepened their kiss and her tongue explored all the crevices in his mouth. Her hands were cradling his head and he returned to his search of her body.

Slowly, almost in a painful, but pleasurable torture, his hands roamed her body. He never touched anything directly, but just the tease was enough for Hermione's need to grow.

Draco paused, suddenly, and asked, "Are you okay with this?" His faced blushed red at his own questions and he clarified, "I mean is what I am doing..."

Her hand rested on the back of Draco's neck as she drew him in, ending his question with a physical answer. She was persistent; softly brushing her own lips against his and continued her answer by peppering kisses all over his face. She heard a 'Mmmm' of pleasure, and she felt encouraged enough to drag her own hands up and down his back. She desperately wanted to go lower, but fear and continued insecurity prevented it.

Hermione couldn't help but think she was the luckiest girl in the entire world that she was laying on a bed with the undeniably sexy Draco Malfoy. But just as quickly, she found herself thinking nothing at all as she felt his erection press into her inner thigh. She was becoming so aroused that she found the room entirely too warm and began to pull off Draco's robes, panting, as he began peeling off hers too. She was pleased to discover he wore nothing under his robes but a t-shirt and boxers. Soon, she was just in a t-shirt and jeans, making the contact that much closer.

Then their mouths met again and the kiss was wetter; more burning and fiery. Draco's hand slid down Hermione's arms before creeping up under her shirt and he gently stroked her nipples playfully, enchanted at the tiny gasp he got for his efforts.

Hermione wrapped her legs around the Slytherin as Draco sucked on her earlobe and her throat. She was dizzy with desire and reached her roaming hands around to rub his erection. Draco made another wonderful noise that sounded like a strangled moan into her neck and Hermione felt herself forgetting how to breathe.

"Oh, oh fuck, please Hermione. Don't do that unless you mean it," he groaned against her neck, thrusting downwards as her tongue probed his ear before tracing it. Hermione nipped at his earlobe and Draco ground himself into her hand uncontrollably, closing his eyes as she rubbed and grabbed insistently.

Hermione's eyes grew wild with passion and she shifted her position, removing her hand from her ministrations to peel off his shirt. He quickly followed her by removing hers as well. The sensation of skin upon skin was bloody marvelous as Hermione's hand returned to rubbing Draco. He squirmed against her and began kissing each breast as if it was made of chocolate. It felt so very good. She wished they could stay like this forever, running their hands over each other and kissing like their very lives depended on it.

Hermione slid her other hand down Draco's back, caressing the soft skin, and gripped his arse to pull him against her body tightly. It was sheer perfection and Hermione's breathing was jagged from the pleasure throbbing through her body.

Then Draco kissed her lips again, sliding one arm around her and resting the palm of his hand against the small of Hermione's back. Their tongues were tangled and their hips were moving rapidly against each other, with Hermione's hand in the middle doing the main work for both of them. Draco was having trouble breathing and Hermione felt a groan escape from the back of her throat as they writhed together on his bed. The sounds of desire were the only noises in the small room.

He cried out with, "Oh, Gods, oh please. Just like that, Hermione. Please, a little harder. Oh Gods!" It didn't take much longer before Draco was gasping against Hermione's mouth as the delight sizzled up and down her spine at being able to bring him so much pleasure.

Suddenly, Draco pulled away from Hermione's lips and she saw a look of pain cross his face. She almost stopped the rubbing, but it felt so good and she was so damn close to completion. Draco shuddered, making a guttural noise in his throat and Hermione felt a pulsing in her hand that became warm with wetness. This was enough to push her over the edge and the two clutched each other as they shook and panted waiting for their breathing to return to normal.

Draco rolled off of Hermione and gave her a genuine smile so warm and that it made Hermione want to cry in happiness. He got up, kissed her and said he'd be back in a minute and ran into the lavatory. As he entered, he turned and said, "Stay with me tonight?"

Without answering, Hermione got up and quickly stripped her pants off and put her t-shirt on. She lay on the bed and waited for her Slytherin prince to return. He came back in the room in nothing but his boxers, and for the second time that night, the beauty she saw before her took Hermione's breath away.

Draco lay on the bed and reached to her, pulling her into a cuddle. She snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest and curling her body around his, much the way she did the night of the first revel.

She laid there and was nodding off to sleep when she heard Draco whisper, "Hermione?"

She was so relaxed and sleepy all she could respond with was, "Mmmm?"

And for the first time in a long time, she heard Draco's voice break as he said, "Thank you. No one has ever made me feel as special as you do."

And they fell fast asleep.