Hermione Granger and The Secret Fire

Chapter 9- Sleeping with the enemy

The next morning, Hermione felt like she had gotten the best sleep she had ever had. Never had she felt more comfortable, more secure than she did waking up in this bed. She was slowly enticed into alertness by the sun's position in the sky. Before she opened her eyes, her memory was flooded with the images of the previous evening and the recollection of where she was sleeping. This alone caused her facial features to etch into a smile.

"Something funny, Granger?" Hermione heard a deep, familiar voice interrogating her, although she was surprised to hear it. She had not thought he'd be awake at the early hour.

Hermione's eyes flashed open to find Draco facing her, still lying on the bed. His face held no expression, which was unusual, so immediately she was filled with a sense of panic. While she was initially excited at the prospect of waking up next to her crush, she had no idea how Draco would feel about it. After all, they were barely friends. The fact that he started with 'Granger', rather than 'Hermione', caused her to think it was not going to be a positive reaction.

"Good morning to you too, Draco," she replied, trying to fake confidence and set a more optimistic mood. Hermione rolled over onto her stomach and stretch her arms above her head, resting her head on her arms, but making no other move to get up.

"What, exactly, do you think you are doing in my bed?" Draco asked in an even tone. He was watching her intently, but once again was not giving Hermione any clue as to his frame of mind.

Hermione watched him watching her, and she tried to gauge his disposition before answering. She could not gather any information from how he was observing her, as he was making no movements. After a very long pause, she took a page from Harry's normal 'don't-give-any-more-information-than-necessary' and answered, "Sleeping."

This caused Draco to smirk and say, "How very Slytherin of you to answer like that. What I meant was why?"

Hermione, enjoying the banter and noting that neither of them had moved, thought about her next answer before speaking. She wanted this conversation to go on as long as possible, because she had no idea when she would get the opportunity to wake up next to him again. The power she felt from holding all the knowledge and leaving Draco in the dark caused her stomach to do somersaults. Besides, she loved teasing him! So she simply said, "You had a rough night and I was concerned."

Draco seemed to accept her answer, paused, and questioned, "Why wouldn't you have left me alone once you knew I was home safe?"

Hermione took a deep breath and answered, "I didn't want to leave you alone because you said that the night you returned from getting the...thing you got, all you wanted was comfort and healing of some sort. I thought I could help you by letting you know that I was here for you and save you from feeling lonely. I wanted to protect you."

Her words caused Draco's expression to change. 'In fact,' she noted, 'it changed several times as I spoke! I wonder what that means? Uh-oh. Maybe I have shared too much information.'

Hermione was feeling very unsure that she had made the correct decision last night when she had chosen to stay. She also wasn't sure if being honest now and telling Draco why she stayed was they wisest choice given the situation. She felt her own expression mirroring her fear and longing for his approval.

Draco stared at her for a long while before deciding to paint his face with a look between confusion and anger. His voice slowly gained volume as he argued with, "What made you think I would want that kind of attention from you? Do I have a sign on my back that says 'Save me, oh dear Gryffindor?' What makes you think I need saving?"

Hermione's stomach dropped into her feet as she realized what was happening. 'He doesn't want me here!' she cried in her head. 'Oh my Gods, he doesn't want me here. Get out of this room now, while you still have some dignity! Get out before he kicks you out!'

However, Hermione did not have a chance to react to her thoughts.

"Draco, it is unfortunate that I have to awake you at this ungodly hour, but seeing as you were not in your common room nor at breakfast...WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Snape bellowed walking, unannounced, into Draco's suite and seeing the two of them lying in bed.

Hermione and Draco both jumped up into sitting positions as their visitor entered the room. They began fighting, silently, for the comforter by pulling it back and forth between them. Draco's sheer strength won out, and the lack of balance caused Hermione to be knocked onto the floor, covered only by her t-shirt and panties. Hermione's eyes widened into saucers and she honestly wondered if it was possible to die from embarrassment.

Draco, however, seemed to be unaffected by the activity in his suite. In a calm, even voice he asked, "What do you want, Professor?" Hermione realized he did not answer Snape's question as to what they were doing, but she had more important thoughts flooding her head. She scrambled to her feet and tried to look for something to cover herself with before her Potions Professor got more of a picture of her body than she wanted. She finally spied one of Draco's school robes, threw it over her body and flopped back onto the bed.

"I need to speak with you, Draco. And I want to speak to you alone!" Snape barked, never taking his angry irritated eyes off of Hermione.

"I'll be down in my common room in a few minutes. You will wait for me there," Draco commanded. Hermione was amazed at how he spoke to his Head of House and their Potions Teacher. If she, or any other Gryffindor, had dared speak to him in that tone they would have lost their heads.

Snape turned quickly on his heal and stormed out of the room, leaving behind him a wake of flowing robes.

Draco turned to Hermione but would not look into her eyes. Hermione felt her body fill with dread as she realized that he was so angry and disgusted with her that he didn't even want to look at her.

He sat on his side of the bed, fiddling with the edge of the comforter but never taking his eyes of it and said, "You need to leave."

Hermione did not need to be told twice and she fled his suite in embarrassment and shame.

~*~

Hermione had to escape her suite. She felt trapped not only physically because Draco could be in the common room, but mentally by her sheer stupidity and idiocy.

"My Gods, Crookshanks, could I have been more dense? What was I thinking storming into his room last night and then thinking he'd want to be comforted by me? He barely tolerates me as a friend and I try to take it to the next level?" Hermione was pacing in her room feeling very angry at her choices. "Why would I have ever thought it was a good idea to climb into bed with him?

"I have got to get out of here and find something to distract myself from over analyzing this!" she said, grabbing her wand and opening her door. However she was stopped by an all too familiar tone in an all too familiar voice.

"Mister Malfoy, I am certain that your father's visit this morning has nothing to do with last night's revel."

Hermione froze in fear. 'Is that Professor Snape? Of course it is you git! Who else would be talking to Draco about Voldemort!' she mentally berated herself. She slowly closed the door, but left it cracked open enough to listen in on the conversation below her in the common room. She gradually sat down on the floor as quietly as possible, and peeked out of the door to see if she could observe the men as they conversed.

"Are you kidding me? It's just a coincidence that he shows up the morning after I make the mind-boggling blunder of arguing with the Dark Lord?" Draco almost screamed at Professor Snape.

'Oh no!' Hermione thought from her perch at the top of her stairs. 'Draco's really angry, and it is probably my fault! Wait...what does he mean by blunder?'

"Surely you are not trying to convince me that my father is here for any other reason than to punish me severely for the monumental lapse in judgment I made last night! He couldn't take the chance last night to punish me in front of everyone else. Then he would be harming his only heir and it would make our family look weak!" Draco said ranting as he talked. "Or perhaps you think he suddenly cares about me and wants to make certain I am okay, physically and mentally! He came here to say, 'Son, don't worry about fucking up last night. We all make mistakes and I still fucking love you!' Do you really think he's here for any other reason than to murder me before I become any more of a liability?"

Hermione's eyes widened in shock at Draco's carelessness with the way he was speaking to a Professor! 'He could be expelled!' she thought.

"Watch your language, Mr. Malfoy. I understand your anger, but you are still a Slytherin and need to control your emotions," Professor Snape calmly corrected him.

"You don't understand anything, Severus! When did you ever make a mistake that nearly got you killed and then have your father come the next day to finish the job?" Draco said, his voice almost beseeching an answer.

'What the hell did he do last night?' Hermione thought, eyes once again searching to find either man in the room below her suite. She didn't miss Draco calling their teacher Severus, but failed to give the slip any thought or attention.

"Sit down, Draco. It's time for you to hear something from my past," Snape said, letting go of a deep breath.

"Oh goodie, is it story time, Uncle Sev? Should I get my blankie?" Draco responded, clapping his hands and speaking in a giddy, childlike voice.

"When I was 18 and I decided to take the Dark Mark," Professor Snape began with a debasing tone, "I decided I was becoming a man and as such should be allowed certain...luxuries...of adulthood."

Hermione could almost hear Draco's eyes roll as he said, "Look, I appreciate your trying to tell me a story to relate to me but..."

"One night, just before I graduated, a bunch of my fellow Slytherins decided to steal some Firewhiskey from a stash we found in our Head-of-House's personal closet," Snape continued, ignoring Draco's disrespectful comments. "Professor Wicks was a drunkard, often coming to class intoxicated. We brought back probably 10-12 bottles for the six of us. Needless to say, we got very drunk; so drunk many of us were unaware of our actions. We all talked about what our lives after graduation were going to be, where we would go. All I could think about was what a bastard my father was and how he lived to force me to do his will. I was never allowed to make a choice unless he had given me the options from which to choose," Hermione could hear the pain and desolation in his voice.

"He made all decisions, for the whole family, my entire life. I wanted to make a choice. I wanted to be responsible for my own destiny. I wanted to do something so unexpected, that my housemates would admire me. Several of the boys passed out as the evening grew late, but I, feeling brave beyond my years due to the impending Mark, decided I wanted to force myself on a innocent child; I chose a first year who walked into the common room at the wrong moment."

Hermione could tell Draco was listening intently and, truth be told, so was she. Never in her twelve years of formal schooling had she heard a teacher tell such a personal story.

"I dragged her out of our common room and into an abandoned classroom. Even knowing I could be expelled didn't stop me from claiming my prize. I felt like a man possessed because I was going to be someone, albeit at the destruction of someone else!" Snape stopped there, obviously lost in his own memory.

Hermione felt the girl's fear at being dragged into a classroom by a seventh year Slytherin, even this many years in the future. She was astounded by Snape's confession and wondered what had ever happened to the first year girl.

"As I forced her...forced her down on one of the tables, I realized that the Firewhiskey was having more of an effect on me than I wanted it to. I couldn't exactly...perform...so I racked my brain for a charm or a spell to help me. The girl...just stared at me. She didn't look frightened, just disturbed by my need for control. Even at the age of 11 she knew it wasn't about sex, just control."

The room became quiet for several minutes and Hermione wondered if they had somehow left. She was about to peek down the stairs, when Snape began again.

"I sat back, lost in my thoughts of how calm and cool she was. I failed to realize that I had not warded the door. I was...interrupted...by Professor Dumbledore bursting into the room and coming to remove me from making one the largest mistake of my life."

Hermione's hands flew to her face, covering her mouth, in shock. She was afraid she'd screech at what she was hearing if she wasn't careful.

"In his divine wisdom, he was aware of what I was doing before I had the chance to do anything. I jumped off the poor girl and she ran from the classroom. I thought I was going to be hexed by the greatest wizard to ever live," Snape snorted at his own innocence, "well at that point I thought he was the second greatest wizard after Voldemort. Instead, he told me to meet him in his office and he walked out. I sat there for probably 15 or 20 minutes before walking up to meet him. I had never felt such shame. I was mortified to be in my own skin. I hated myself more than anyone else could have, and plenty of people had reasons.

"I walked into his office expecting to be expelled or at least be brought to wizarding court. He must have known about my self-debasing thoughts because instead of punishment, he offered me a deal. The first deal of many he offered in my life, looking back now. He said he would let me stay; let me graduate, if I confessed my deed to the man from whom I had stolen my impudence liquid. I thought it was very Gryffindor of him; bravery instead of might or brains. I thought of how stupid he was for letting me get off Scot-free! I had a pretty good relationship with Professor Wicks and I thought it would be the easiest thing I ever did," Snape confessed.

"What I didn't know, and I fail to believe Dumbledore did either, was that Professor Wicks would take it as hard as he did. He began to beat me for stealing the one thing that meant anything to him, whether it was his alcohol or his teaching career now that Dumbledore knew his secret, I don't know. The first blow into the wall I didn't feel, but every other one hurt my pride as well as my body. I was crushed that my favorite Professor was choosing to act the way he was acting. Dumbledore interceded, once again, and I was placed in the infirmary," Snape's voice faltered as he continued, "My father...my father was flooed because of the severity of my wounds. When he arrived the next morning and learned of my deeds, he took over from where Professor Wicks left off. It took several of the Professors to bind him and one of them kindly brought him back to Snape Manor. Professor Dumbledore was so disturbed, so bewildered by Wicks' reaction and then my father's rejoinder, that he dropped all the charges against me. I had paid my dues to our world I guess by being beaten half to death first by a Professor and then by my father."

Draco interrupted in a tone that was filled with sadness with the very question Hermione had been thinking, "What happened to the girl?"

"I...I don't know. I never saw her again," Snape said quickly. "But that is not the point, Draco. I know what it is like to have someone come to complete unfinished business that isn't his to begin with. I know Dumbledore will never allow something like that to happen again. And neither will I, and I will be there."

Professor Snape stood and started walking out of the common room calling, "Come along. You are a Slytherin and you will face your father."

~*~

Hermione grasped her knees in her arms and rolled on to the floor after the men left. She rested her head there and took deep breaths trying to calm her self, but she couldn't stop shaking. She felt genuine sympathy for Professor Snape. How could he have gone through something as horrific as mental and physical abuse from not only a parent, but also someone sworn to protect you like a teacher and then be able to walk away? No wonder he turned to the wrong side when he was her age. It was that or he'd have to live with his father again! Although she felt terribly sorry for the girl and was mortified by her assumed psychological pain, she could not help but feel overwhelmed by the distress her Professor must have felt.

'Is that why he is a teacher? Did he have such a horrendous experience when he was in school that he feels he must save his students from experiencing something similar? But then why is he such a git? Is he trying to force us to mature so we can make better decisions?' Hermione's questions kept attacking her thoughts, but she was pulled out of her inquiring mind by a voice downstairs.

"Hermione? Are you here, dear," she heard the portrait calling her. "You have a visitor."

Hermione gathered her self up and walked down to the common room. "Let them in."

Misten walked into the room with a huge smile on her face. It slowly fell off as she noticed the real anguish in her friend's face. "What is it, Hermione?"

Misten's compassion and true interest in what Hermione was feeling came off of her in waves. It broke whatever resolution Hermione had made to hold herself together. She began to sob and reached for her friend for a hug.

"What is it, Hermione? What is making you cry?" Misten said, feeling like she would start to weep too. "I can feel your sorrow! Who did this?" Misten's eyes began to release their tears and she cried, "I keep wondering when you are going to get a break from all this stress! Who is making you sad now?"

The two girls cried in each other's arms for several minutes until Hermione could pull herself together enough to speak. When she did she started with an admission of her own.

"Misten, I need to talk to someone and I need you to promise me this will stay between the two of us. It can go no further," Hermione began. "I...I haven't had any real..."

"Okay; I promise, Hermione" Misten responded wiping away her own tears. "I know you haven't felt like you have had a true friend, except for the boys, and let's face it...what good are they?"

Hermione was surprised by her friends' blunt honesty, and she realized that it stung, slightly, because her words were truthful. But she also couldn't help giggling at the subtle attempt at humor. She walked over to one of the couches taking a seat and smiled as Misten followed.

"I think I may like Draco...as more than a friend," Hermione stated simply. Even though she knew Misten was on friendly terms with Draco, Hermione could not help but feel apprehensive about admitting her feelings out loud. She knew Harry and Ron would explode in anger if she had told them and she didn't want that type of reaction from Misten.

"Okay...and?" Misten said sitting back and looking confused at Hermione.

"And, what?" Hermione questioned, confused as well.

"You like him and what? Have you told him?" Misten explained.

"You're not shocked? You're not going to yell at me about how I am being stupid and emotional?" Hermione asked, eyes widening in amazement.

Misten laughed at her friend's uncertainty and said, "What am I going to yell at you for? I kind of figured out he must have been the 'secret boyfriend' that gave you the broach last night. Why else would you have not answered? The boys are too slow to have guessed and the girls don't care unless it is gossip, and they weren't quick enough to gather this information. Besides, Hermione, I meant it a few weeks back when I said he's yummy!"

Seeing Hermione's face she added, "But don't worry; there is no competition here. I only like him as a friend."

Hermione was shocked by Misten's reaction. She was genuinely being supportive and Hermione could not have been happier. She decided to tell Misten about Draco's trip home last night, sans anything related to why, and concluded with Snape catching them in bed. She decided not to tell Snape's secret, as it wasn't hers to tell.

"In bed? You were caught by snarky Professor Snape in Draco's bed? And you were half naked to boot!" Misten squealed with laughter over the hilarity of the situation.

"I was not half naked!" Hermione said indignantly. "I was covered in all the places that count."

The girls continued to talk and laugh over the situation. Misten desperately wanted Hermione to kiss Draco. She tried, in vain, to get Hermione to take the first step.

"Oh come on! We need some physical action here! You are going to have to seduce him, Hermione!" Misten exclaimed, getting excited at the prospect. "You are going to have to use all your womanly ways on him!"

"Are you mad? Did you not hear me when I told you that he practically kicked me out of his room this morning, yelling at me for daring to care about him?" Hermione asked her friend looking as if Misten had, in fact, gone mad.

"Boys are stupid," she responded flippantly. "We already know that! He just didn't know what to make of you caring for him. Think about it, Hermione, if half of the gossip that I have heard is true and based on the sketchy past you have heard about directly from him, Draco would not know what to do if true nurturing slapped him in the face."

She turned more serious before adding, "Don't let your insecurity rule here. If someone I knew tried to seduce me, even if I had never thought of him that way before, I would feel flattered. And I probably would start thinking of them in a whole new light. Draco may not have thought of you as girlfriend material before, but now that you have shown him you care, he'll start. Besides, did you have a crush on him when he was mean? No, it took him being nice this year to get you to change your opinion of him. Well...as nice as a Slytherin can be. We can't very well expect miracles."

Hermione laughed and thought about how lucky she was to be getting such fabulous advice from Misten.

"But he told me to leave this morning!" she exclaimed, glancing at Misten.

Misten got a look on her face similar to the lecherous one Seamus had sported the night before, during all the sleepover talk. "All the more reason for you to seduce him."

"Be serious! What am I going to do? I have no experience seducing anything. I wouldn't have the foggiest idea what to do!"

"Leave that to me, my dear." Misten said, pulling Hermione to her feet and whisking her out the door.