Hermione Granger and The Secret Fire

Chapter 7-Everyone has a Secret

"Why me, Professor Dumbledore? Why do I have to tell her?" Draco questioned in an insolent tone.

Professor Snape, however, decided that it was a fine time for sarcasm, "Nice show of bravery, Draco. While self-preservation is a fine quality for Slytherins, so is courage."

Draco closed his eyes into small slits and did a fine impersonation of Snape to Snape. Hermione held back an inappropriate chuckle and focused her energy on keeping calm while she sat next to the slimy git who happened to be her roommate.

"Draco, part of your new role is going to be convincing members of the Order that you are playing under a different set of rules than those who have come before you," Professor Dumbledore said in an insightful manner.

Hermione tried hard to think only of the ill mannered, angry, nasty boy who had tortured her for years. Unfortunately, she had trouble thinking about anything but Malfoy in his boxers standing in her bedroom.

'Where is my head?' she thought. 'I am in a room with Professors Dumbledore and Snape and my hormones are taking over? Remember that this man has that evil, retched, horrible mark on his arm!' Immediately her anger and disgust replaced all else.

Draco took a deep breath and turned to face Hermione. His insecure look made Hermione feel sympathy for him before once again remembering what she had seen on his arm.

"I...My Mother was...this summer," he began, stumbling over the words.

He looked at Professor Dumbledore with an expression of pain and suffering. Hermione felt a surge of vindication by his look and then shame at taking pleasure in his pain.

Draco continued to stare at the Headmaster and said, "I don't know how to do this!"

"Well it's a fine thing we're here in front of the great adversary, Miss Granger, and not in front of our nemesis, You-know-Who!" Professor Snape bellowed angrily as he strode over to where his two students were sitting. However, his words lost their bite as he put his hand on Malfoy's shoulder in a sign of support.

"Young Mr. Malfoy, one finds that the beginning is always the best place to start," Professor Dumbledore said as he relaxed farther in his chair.

Draco once again took a deep breath and faced Hermione. "All right. When I got home after term in June, my mother did not look well. It appeared that she had caught some sort of Muggle bug. She could not seem to get rid of whatever it was she had, it just made her sicker and weaker. After a few weeks of staying quiet so she could rest and trying to keep the stress level as low as possible, my father was secretly released from Azkaban along with several other high ranking Death Eaters. Upon his return to Malfoy Manor, he informed me that I was going to be allowed the great privilege of meeting his Dark Lord."

Hermione listened to the words coming from his mouth, but felt confused. It seemed her naïve; innocent self was taking over once more. 'Why is he saying this in front of Professor Dumbledore? Doesn't he know how much trouble he'll get in to when Dumbledore hears him admit that his father is a Death Eater?'

When Draco began talking again, he was staring at his shoes and talking as if he was under a trance. "One late night my father burst into my suite, well after I had retired, to prepare me for my eventual meeting. His tutelage included dark curses, illegal potions, and torture in a variety of ways. Night after night I was subjected to these countless curses so that I could be prepared for what the Dark Lord would do to me. I had to be a formidable warrior and be strong. I had to show the Dark Lord that I was an honor to the Malfoy name. On my way back to my suite after a considerably horrific night of pain, I began to wonder why anyone would subject himself or herself to this torment. It seemed that each morning, I was more bloodied and bruised than the day before.

"See, my father has always taught me that the Malfoy name was something to be proud of; something to instill fear in those around you. 'We are a better breed of wizard than those common souls around us,' he'd say. 'Part of being a Malfoy is just the gift of being able to walk the walk and the skill to talk the talk. If you expect people to treat you better than the average wizard, people will continually try to treat you better than anyone else.' He would remind me of these things every time we went into Diagon Alley.

"As a child, I believed him. I wanted people to be afraid of me. I wanted people to look at me the way they looked at my father. I was sure that to be a true Malfoy was to have people cower as you entered a room. I wanted to be that man," Draco said as his voice cracked.

Professor Dumbledore stopped Draco from speaking by refreshing everyone's teacup. It seemed to Hermione that he was providing Draco time to gather himself before speaking again.

Once he sat down, Draco continued speaking with his trance-like stare. "My father finally decided that the day had come and that his baby boy was ready to meet the person who was going to return greatness to the wizarding world. It was the night of the full moon in July when I was awakened and dragged to a castle somewhere in the south of France. What I saw...well it was not what I expected. Volde...Voldemort was half person, half...beast of some sort. I was amazed by the aura around him and his how his desires were answered before he had a chance to even think them. People were bowing in front of him...accepting his word as law...allowing him to make even the most basic, personal choices for them without question.

"My father bowed in front of him and kissed his robes," Draco said with anger infusing in his voice. "My father who had taught me that the Malfoy name was above all else, prostrated himself in front of this animal. And now he wanted me to do the same.

"Without knowing that there was another way, another side, I did as I was told. I kissed the robes of the Dark Lord and was rewarded with a round of crucio when I didn't answer his questions quickly enough."

Draco's tone of voice hardened with revulsion as he forced himself to continue, "The other Death Eaters present just watched, laughing at the pain their Lord inflicted on me. Because of all the training with my father, I controlled my pain enough to stay standing for the first, and even the second round of crucio. However, the third series of curses forced me to the floor with my arms coiled around my legs. I refused to scream, so he continued to cast it, again and again. By then, I was in too much pain to make any sounds. He seemed to bore of me and my nausea forced me to lay still. Just when I thought I was going to get a chance to recover, the beatings began. Each one of the men there took a turn striking and kicking me."

Professor Snape interrupted Draco's fifteen-minute profession with, "Mr. Malfoy, perhaps you could share this heart-warming tale with Miss Granger at a later time. Now is the point in time to explain to her why we are here!"

Hermione turned to look at her Potions Instructor and saw something akin to pain on his face. She wondered if this part of the story bothered Snape because he had been present that night and had participated in the abuse.

"Well excuse me, Professor Snape!" Draco argued back at Snape. "I was under the impression that we were here to inform her of all that has gone on so she can understand why I made the choice I did."

Hermione was glad that her gasps of shock were being covered up by the sounds of Draco's confession and subsequent arguing with Professor Snape. She was thunderstruck by the news Draco was sharing with her. All these years she and her friends had thought that Draco was well on his way to becoming the next generation of Death Eater. For the first six years they had hated him, despising him for every wound he had caused her and her fellow Gryffindors. Now, in their final year, it seemed that everything she had thought about this boy was incorrect.

As the two Slytherins continued to argue, she thought 'Draco is confused about his role in life, and is having trouble understanding how the messages he grew up with mixed with the new version of the world that he's experiencing first hand. He's very much like me in that sense.'

Professor Dumbledore watched all of the goings-on with a look of astuteness. He seemed tolerable of Draco's admissions and Professor Snape's arguments. He was watching Hermione's reactions to the horrid details as if he was expecting each one.

Draco, tiring of his argument with Snape, turned and resumed his confession with new fire in his voice. "When I returned from my first meeting with Voldemort, I expected my father to at least send a house elf to take care of my wounds. I expected some healing or comfort in any form. I knew my mother couldn't help me, as she was falling deeper and deeper into her illness. But my father found my injuries and physical pains to be a liability to the Malfoy name. He felt I was a pathetic waste of human flesh and made certain to remind me of that fact. Instead of allowing my body time to heal, he continued the barrage of torture to the point where I was confident I was going to die."

"The point, Mr. Malfoy, get to the point!" Snape interrupted again.

"You sure can be a sweetheart, you know that Snape?" Malfoy said rolling his eyes, "I am getting to it!"

Hermione watched the interaction between the two men and could not understand how Professor Snape could listen to a story as terrible as Draco's and treat it with such callousness.

"Miss Granger," Professor Dumbledore said reading Hermione's look perfectly, "do not take Professor Snape's comments as heartless. He has heard this story several times. He simply comes from an extraordinary place in life much different from yours and, as such, reacts to this news in his own way."

Professor Snape glanced at Hermione with a look of derision and turned back to Draco.

"My father made it clear to me that night and the ensuing nights that I had no choice as to whether I was going to take the mark. I tried to fight it, but the punishments became crueler and more brutal than anything I could have imagined."

Draco's voice trailed off and he turned to focus on Snape's face as he began again. "At the end of July, Professor Snape had to make an emergency trip to Malfoy Manor. My Mother's condition had...worsened...and it was necessary to have stronger potions delivered nightly. On one of those evenings, he observed one of my father's...punishments...and carried me back to my suite. It was there I learned about the Order of the Phoenix and it was decided I should plead my case to the Headmaster. That same night, my mother could no longer fight the illness she had and she passed away. It was determined that it was not a Muggle illness that she suffered from, she had been poisoned."

Hermione was in awe by the words Draco spoke and even further by the look Snape gave him before he took over the story. It was a look of deep respect and understanding, and Hermione had never seen anything like it on her Potions Teacher's face.

"Young Mr. Malfoy returned with me to Hogwarts the next night and we visited with the Headmaster. It was decided that he would take the mark on his birthday in December at the earliest or, preferably, next summer."

Draco turned to Hermione once more after gathering resolve from the older men. "Even when I returned to school I believed I could fight getting it. I understood what the Professors said, and even agreed with their opinions on the possibility of me becoming a spy, but I wanted to fight it. Part of me still expected my father, the man I had grown to admire if not love, to tell me that we were greater than that beast. We are Malfoy Men, for Gods sake. We bow to no one!"

Hermione let out a shaky breath as she took in the information being presented to her. She could not relate to Draco's pride in his family name. She believed it had little to do with being pure blooded and more to do with his gender.

"After the term began, I had to go home to take care of certain family obligations. I had returned from such a trip on the afternoon you found me burning things in the common room. I had just gotten a message delivered by my father's eagle. I was to report home that evening in preparation of me taking the Dark Mark that week. I was angry beyond reason, as I am sure you remember."

Hermione did remember that day, vividly. She remembered feeling almost as confused and uneasy by his outburst then as she did now.

"So, I returned home to follow my father's orders, under the watchful eye of Professor Snape. I had to take the Mark, but it was with the understanding that I would be an agent for the side of Light. I was to hide the Mark from all but my fellow Slytherins, and work with Professor Snape and other Order members to provide information to be used to gain the upper hand in the war."

"Draco was not to tell anyone of his affiliation with the Light, Miss Granger. He was supposed to be very cautious with his physical self when he was around members of the other houses," Professor Snape said looking sternly at Hermione.

Professor Dumbledore, seeing Hermione's eyes widening with fear, interjected, "It is imperative that his relationship with the Light side remain a secret. No one can know of our newest scout. There are very few Order members who have been made aware of Draco's standing. Only the highest-ranking associates have been informed and we have no plans to disclose this to anyone else."

Draco spoke again, but used a gentler voice, "Do you understand, Hermione? Do you see that I didn't want to do this, but I had to do it? And now that you know the secret, you have to..."

"Protect young Mr. Malfoy," Snape interrupted.

"I don't need 'protecting'," Malfoy stated firmly. "What I was going to say is that she, you, need to keep silent about this information. My life depends on it."

"Hence your need for protection, Mr. Malfoy," Snape said as he walked around to stand in front of Draco and Hermione.

"Miss Granger understands, don't you?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir...Yes, sirs," she corrected herself.

"Mr. Malfoy has been informed that this...crisis...can not repeat itself. He has been informed to wear a long sleeve shirt under his robe from now on," Professor Snape said looking directly at Draco and emphasizing the words for his benefit.

Professor Dumbledore came around the desk and held Hermione's hand as he said, "I know that there is no need for me to remind you that no one, even Harry and Ron, are to know about this development. There would be grave consequences if word were to get back to the senior Mr. Malfoy."

"I understand, sir," Hermione said. The men turned back to each other and continued talking business, but Hermione noticed Draco's eyes never left her face.

Hermione left the Headmaster's office and found she needed to lie down. She returned to her room and thought about all the things she had just heard. She could not believe how hard Draco's life had been for the last six months and was ashamed she had judged him so harshly this term.

Her thoughts were still swimming when sleep overtook her.

~*~

Considering what Hermione had learned on Sunday in her meeting with Draco, the last thing she wanted to do all week was carry out rounds with him. The thought of two hours a day alone with him with nothing to do but talk was not appealing. Hermione felt shameful when she thought about her behavior. Thankfully, Draco seemed agreeable to not spending time together. Hermione kept leaving notes for him to cover their duties and disappearing when she thought he might be in their common room. The news, the confession, the mark; it was all so...overwhelming.

Hermione was much happier thinking about her upcoming birthday on Saturday! She was turning 17, an adult in the wizarding world. She knew her parents would send gifts and she thought that maybe Misten would hear it was her birthday from Ginny and they could do something celebratory. But she was not expecting anything else, especially from the boys. They had never remembered her day on their own and usually she just got an 'Oh, Happy Birthday' in passing when reminded by Ginny.

~*~

On Wednesday night, Hermione was walking on the fourth floor doing rounds and turned a corner when she literally ran into someone.

"Oh, sorry!" she said as she grabbed the person in front of her, "I didn't see you."

Draco stood and looked Hermione, not saying a word.

Hermione felt her stomach tighten as she saw who was standing in front of her. She swallowed hard and managed to get out a one-word phrase, "Hi."

"Trying to avoid me, Granger?" Draco said snottily, rolling his eyes. But Hermione could tell that he didn't mean the tone and wondered if not seeing her bothered him after all.

"No Malfoy...um...not at all. I just..." Hermione babbled trying to think of a cover to explain her choice of being alone that week.

But Draco interrupted her with a hand wave and started to walk away. "Don't worry about it. I am on my way to the library. See you later."

Hermione felt like a bug being squashed. Her embarrassment gained a new life by how his dismissive words sliced through her.

"Wait, Draco. I...I am going to patrol the dungeons in a bit and could use some help," she said weakly. She gazed at him blinking her long lashes and tried to show she was really sorry.

Draco, however, had slipped behind his mask again. Hermione marveled at the idea that it was his way of protecting himself from daily stresses. In a way, she admired his ability to shut out the pain of being a teenager by putting out a face that showed no emotion. Hermione, being an extremely emotional person, wondered how she could copy that skill.

"Look, I really need to get to the library. I'll see you around," he explained as he continued to walk away.

"Draco...I...Um...We..." Hermione spattered out trying to think of something to say, "I really need to talk to you."

"Okay," he agreed as he turned to walk towards her. They walked down the hall and Draco began, "With what happened in Dumbledore's office, well, I didn't want you to think badly of me for not telling you earlier."

Hermione was dumbfounded. She felt terribly guilty at her treatment of Draco all term and he was apologizing to her?

"Malfoy...Draco, I should be apologizing to you! I am sorry I treated you so poorly this term. I had no idea..."

"That's just it, Hermione," Draco said as he stopped to look in her eyes. "You had no idea, so you couldn't treat me any differently. We both need to start anew. We have had a rocky history and I need you to understand I am not that person anymore. We're even. Is there any way we can start over?"

"Okay," she responded weakly, having nothing to add. Then she noticed Draco looking at her strangely.

He grabbed her and leaned down to kiss her when...

Hermione awoke from her nap Wednesday afternoon with a start.

She sat upright in her bed and shook her head trying to clear it.

"Was I just dreaming about kissing Draco?" she whispered aloud.

Hermione giggled to herself, as she got ready to go to dinner. She could not believe that she had been dreaming such a ridiculous scenario!

~*~

Just like in her dream, on Wednesday night Hermione found herself on rounds on the fourth floor.

Hermione's thoughts of her dream were cycling through her head and she didn't hear the people sneaking up behind her. All of a sudden, she was grabbed from behind and knocked to the floor.

"What the..." Hermione managed to get out before Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bullstrode pounced on her, straddling her and pinning her down.

"Look at little Miss 'I am Head Girl and I can do whatever I want' all by herself on her nightly stroll," Bullstrode said, smiling like the Cheshire cat.

"Get off me!" Hermione said attempting to push the girls off of her. "What do you two want?"

"What we want, Mudblood, is your head on a platter! But, since that is too much to ask for right now, where is Draco?" Bullstrode spat out.

"What? He's in your common room, I guess. What do you think you two are doing...?" Hermione began but was interrupted by a much deeper baritone voice behind them.

"Yes, ladies, and I use that term lightly. What are you two doing?" Malfoy drawled.

"Ohh, Draco!" Pansy said jumping up and sliding up to him, "Where have you been the last two weeks? We've missed you!"

"And that would explain this barbaric behavior, how?" Draco answered, raising an eyebrow.

Millicent climbed off of her prisoner and snuggled up to him on the opposite side of Pansy. "It wouldn't explain it. But the Mudblood sees you more than we do now. Somehow that can't be right! We figured wherever she was, you'd be, and we were correct!"

Hermione lay on the floor and could not believe what she was seeing. She had felt bad for this boy and here he was acting like a pig and getting ogled by the Slytherin Sluts.

Draco looked back and forth between the two girls with a superficial smile that quickly faded as he said, "The two of you make me sick. What would make you think that I would want to be around either one of you, especially when you treat people like rubbish?"

Hermione's shock was minimized by the reaction of the Slytherin Sluts. They looked like their mouths had fallen open and were stuck! Draco broke free of their hold and helped Hermione to her feet.

"Come on, Hermione," he said pulling her into a walk, emphasizing her first name for the benefit of their company.

"Oh, you'll regret this, Mudblood!" Pansy spat as Millicent pulled her the opposite way down the hall.

Hermione was caught between her feelings of relief at being saved by Draco and her disgust at what the girls had said.

"That probably wasn't the best choice I ever made. So much for keeping up the charade of being a Death Eater in training," Draco said as he walked side-by-side with his suite mate.

"Tha...Thanks, Draco. I can't believe they snuck up on me!" she breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're going to have to keep an eye out for them, Hermione. When Pansy says she's going to get you back, she means it. I won't always be here to save you from that," Draco said, knowingly.

"Oh. Okay," Hermione said with the disappointment of him not being around to save her bleeding through in her voice. She also was reminded by his presence of her abysmal behavior toward him this term.

"What?" Malfoy said questioning her tone.

Hermione had no idea where to begin. 'I'm sorry for thinking you were a Death Eater? I am sorry I never trusted you when you were being mean to me? Oh, by the way, I think I might be beginning to fancy you?' None of those words sounded right to her. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I..." she began, but thankfully Draco interrupted her.

"Look, I know you need your space and all, and I don't blame you, but I'd like to straighten some stuff out. I have dumped quite a load on you this week and I can understand it will take a bit to get used to. But," he reddened, "you've been a real mate to me this term when I had no one else and I'd like to think we could still try to be..."

"You have Misten for that!" Hermione said, immediately wishing she hadn't. 'That did not come out the way I wanted it to! You are a dummy, Hermione!'

Draco looked at her and suavely said, "Yeah, but I can't just have one mate! I need at least two."

'Oh, thank the Gods he took that better than the way I said it!' she thought. She smiled at him and said, "I'd like that."

He smiled back and added, "I hope you understand where I am coming from. Six months ago, well, no offence but, I would have never been able to be your friend..."

"Oh, thanks!" she said, giggling.

"You know what I mean. Could you have been friends with me? I think not!" he said playfully. Then his tone turned more serious. "It's just a lot has happened, more than I even want to discuss, and I could use someone to talk to that has been around for it all."

She started her rounds once again with Draco accompanying her, and couldn't stop the thoughts of how handsome he looked. She felt this incredible need to gather him in her arms and hold him away from all the pain he had to live with for the past few months. She wanted to show him that the world was not entirely horrible.

Hermione realized with a start that she really was beginning to have romantic feelings for Draco. He wasn't the person she had thought he was and she felt like her world was being rocked. She was terrified by the thought of what Draco must have gone through and honestly wondered if she, or any of her friends, could have gone through the same circumstances and come out alive.

"So, how has your week been?" he questioned, beginning to walk again, trying to catch up with her speed.

Hermione smiled at his attempt at social niceties. They fell into an effortless rhythm of conversation as they completed their rounds. Hermione was pleased to realize her dream wasn't real; this had actually gone better.

As they made their way back into their common room, Draco asked about Hermione's birthday.

"How did you know my birthday is Saturday?" Hermione asked with a great deal of surprise in her voice. "I didn't think anyone knew."

"Of course I knew," he said with a mischievous look, although she knew Misten must have found out from Ginny and told him, "What do you want, as far as presents are concerned I mean?"

"Why Draco, I didn't know you cared?" She said in a teasing tone of voice. "Well I suppose you'll have to guess, although I don't know if I want a present from you!" She smiled at their easy playful banter.

Draco smiled a slick smile and replied in a devious voice, "You can have no secrets from the Slytherin Prince."

And then said in his normal tone, "That is what you Golden Gryffindors call me, right?"

Hermione laughed a true deep laugh and nodded her agreement.

"So are we going to have a party in our rooms?" He questioned her, wagging his eyebrows up and down.

"NO! Well, maybe," she giggled. "I've never had a party here before."

Draco looked at her with mock alarm and said, "The Gryffindorks don't know how to party? What is this world coming to when a Slytherin has to teach the Gryffindorks how to do things? Oh, wait. That has always happened. I swear your house has no idea..."

"Watch it, Malfoy!" Hermione interrupted laughing as she did. "You are treading on dangerous ground."

Draco jumped up and started running up the stairs to his side of their private suites with a smile bigger than Hermione had ever seen on his face, "Then I'd better skip into the lavatory while it is still free tonight and get ready for sleep before I trip and fall on that dangerous ground."

~*~

Hermione lay in bed that night and thought about all the changes in her life. She snuggled under her blankets and tried to get comfortable on her bed. Above everything else, she had trouble coming to terms with the fact that her feelings for Draco had apparently changed from hateful enemy to...more of a romantic darling. Just the sticky sweetness of it made her stomach flutter with anticipation, want and...need.

'This is Draco sodding Malfoy, for Gods sake! I've never thought of him as anything but a stupid git. This is beyond foolish!' her rational, order-loving side argued. 'Could I really have feelings for him?'

'Why is it foolish, Hermione?' her much stronger emotional side countered. 'Why shouldn't you like Draco? He's handsome; all the girls think so! He is the second smartest person in the school. He has a fantastic sense of humor, and you have really gotten to know him better this school year.'

'I really do love his body. Gods, that body is just...what's the word Misten was using...Yummy! I wonder if he is a good kisser?' she thought smiling at the picture of the two of them close together...

'My Gods, you're a freak!' her internal mockery continued. 'How can you be thinking about him in that way?'

'Because he makes me feel something I haven't felt before. And, it's been a while since I've allowed any romance in my life. It's nice to at least think of the possibilities,' she whined in her head.

'If you change the relationship to anything else, it will ruin it; you know this from experience. Think of Viktor and Ron!'

Hermione's eyes widened in horror at the thought! 'Oh Gods! Ron would flip if I were with Draco, not to mention what Harry would do! Murder would be a welcome finale when they got done with me! But Misten would approve, wouldn't she?'

'It is best just to keep things the way they are. You don't want to lose your best friends, do you? Once they caught you, you'd pay dearly.

'OH! But think of the pleasure in the meantime!'