The Dark Side of the Moon

Chapter 7 - Sirius's Plan

'Isabelle, get up, quick!'

Hermione rolled over, ignoring the voice inside her dream.

'Come on, I know you're awake.'

She put her head under her pillow at a lame attempt to block out the sound. After disregarding another slightly muffled order, she felt something fly into her arm.

Ow. Since when do I have such violent dreams?

She opened her eyes and, still seeing black, threw away her pillow and sat up. A blazing glow filled the room and she had to squint while her eyes adjusted to the light.

'Finally,' said that annoying voice. Oh, Lily's voice. 'Come and look out the window.'

Hermione stood up and grumpily mooched over to her. 'I was having a really lovely dream,' she muttered. 'You were in bed and I was waking you up.'

'Look!' Lily exclaimed, pointing out the window excitedly.

Hermione took in a sharp breath at the sight that lay before her. Pure white snow covered every inch of the grounds. The inviting sun shined luminously over the land, causing each and every miniscule icicle on the ground to glisten like jewels. The trees were coated white, as were the distant hills. The birds were chirping and the students were laughing and throwing snowballs, building snowmen, shaking the trees. Winter had finally settled in and Hermione found herself trapped in Happy Days - again.

So why did she feel so out of place?

*-*-*

The first person Hermione ran into on her way down to breakfast was James.

'Hello,' he greeted. 'How'd it go with Lily?'

'She's fine with it,' Hermione replied distractedly.

'You didn't tell her what we were doing, did you?' he asked in a worried tone.

'Of course I didn't,' she reassured him. 'What about with Remus?'

He grimaced. 'Not so well.'

She should have known. The fact that Lily trusted her after only knowing her for a few months, and yet Remus wouldn't readily believe what one of his oldest friends had to say angered her. She and Remus were very different people. 'Did you explain it to him?'

'Didn't get a chance. He wouldn't hear it.'

'God, he's stubborn,' she said irritably, instantly being reminded of Ron and the Victor Krum situation in fourth year. 'He didn't say anything to you either, I suppose?'

'Nope, just went straight to sleep. He wasn't in his bed when I woke up either.'

She groaned. 'What about Sirius?'

'He didn't care.'

Hermione sighed. She was glad Sirius was indifferent about the issue at hand. If he too was tangled up in the whole messy situation, Hermione was sure she would have gone mad - it was already complicated enough. Had someone in the future told her that she'd ever be mixed up in the love lives of the Marauders, she would have recommended that they get their head checked - quickly.

James cleared his throat. 'If you see Remus, will you tell him to just hear me out? He listens to you.'

'Sure he does,' she muttered bitterly. 'I'll see what I can do.'

'Thanks,' he said, then, in a fake-casual tone asked, 'So, what did Lily say?'

Hermione suddenly grinned. 'Well, whatever it is that you're doing Jamesie, keep it up.' She slapped him on the back and gambolled off to breakfast, jubilantly whistling All You Need Is Love.

*-*-*

After school, Hermione decided that all she needed right now was some time to herself. She'd had precious little of it of recently and was thrilled when James told her that he wanted a bit of a break from his tutoring. Lily and Sirius were busy doing their own thing, Peter was ... disgusting and Remus - well, Remus wasn't talking to her of course.

Putting on a scarf and a woollen beanie, she strolled outside and breathed in the fresh, cold air; it exhilarated her, refreshed her. Walking along listening to nature go about its business all around, Hermione felt more at peace with the world than she had in days.

Giving a quick look about her to make sure she was alone, she began loudly singing My Heart Will Go On, twirling happily in the snow.

'FAR ACROSS THE DISTANCE AND SPACES BETWEEN US!' she sung very loudly and out of tune. Hermione was good at a lot of things but unfortunately, singing wasn't one of them.

'Jack, wake up Jack!' she whispered dramatically, getting a little too caught up in the mood. She stopped abruptly as giggling sounded behind her. Turning, she saw a group of girls standing in the snow.

'You all right, there?' one asked, grinning.

'Yes,' Hermione answered defensively.

'What was that?' one girl with an upturned nose asked.

'Titanic, obviously!' Hermione said incredulously. Even Parvati and Lavender, whose families hardly associated with Muggles, had heard of Titanic.

They stared at her blankly. Hermione stared back. She then hit herself, remembering what year it was.

'A movie,' she added with a nervous laugh, 'about ... a big ship. I wrote it, you see.' She smiled widely at them. They backed away slowly.

Moving off the path, she trudged through the deep snow to the edge of the lake, her favourite place in all of Hogwarts. The top layer of the lake was completely frozen over. It was a cerulean panorama set within a winter wonderland; the picturesque scene drew Hermione's attention like a magnet and she was utterly mesmerized. And the atmosphere was just so silent. It was as if the sounds that normally blared from the castle were temporarily muted.

She had never taken much time in the present to really appreciate her surroundings, she wasn't quite sure why. Perhaps it was that when she'd been admiring a view of the school, she had always been with Harry and Ron, talking and enjoying their company rather than focusing on the landscape. She didn't often go outside on her own, much preferring to head to the warmth of the library. She'd always been more of an indoor girl, really.

Temptingly, she broke off a bit of ice from the bank and skid it along the solid lake, watching it spin off into the distance, buzzing softly as it went. She then cracked the thinner ice that sat towards the shore with her foot and picked out a bigger piece that reminded her of a window pane. It numbed her fingers as she held it.

As hard as she could, she threw the ice square onto the lake. Her face broke into a satisfactory grin as it shattered like glass into hundreds of equally freezing shards that each zoomed in different directions across the surface, making the same pleasant tinkling chime.

The sound of a foot crunching on ice made her turn around.

It was Remus. He looked genuinely surprised to see her there. He must have assumed the area would be deserted.

Well, he's not the only one who needs space, Hermione thought resentfully. She couldn't help it; she was so angry with Remus that just seeing his stupid handsome face annoyed her.

'Sorry,' he said calmly. 'I didn't know you were here.' She watched him turn to go before he stopped in his tracks.

'You know what?' he said heatedly, turning around. 'I'm not sorry.'

'That makes two of us,' Hermione said, glaring at him. They stood in stood in astringent silence. Hermione could nearly feel the heat radiating from him. She didn't like it.

Remus finally marched up to her, returning her glare with fervour. 'What's gotten into you?' he demanded.

'What are you talking about?' she said, turning away from him with deliberate aloofness.

'First of all, you've hardly talked to me at all since after breakfast that day when you were the one who wanted to reconcile in the first place,' he said pointedly and Hermione's anger wavered for a moment.

It was true. Since she'd started meeting so often with James, she had, in a way, been ignoring Remus. She hadn't really meant to, it was sort of an unconscious thing. She supposed it was a bit nasty of her, but he hadn't exactly been falling head over heels to spend time with her either.

'And going off with James without any explanation!' he added, his ears going red with anger. His hair had fallen over his eyes and he brushed it away impatiently.

Hermione looked back out to the lake, avoiding his eyes. She didn't have to put up with this.

'And what exactly do you mean by "going off" with James?' she asked shrilly, her cool demeanour deteriorating further by the second.

'Dating, snogging, shagging, whatever the hell you define as going off,' he said, his voice rising uncontrollably.

'That's completely unfair and you know it, Remus,' she said fiercely.

'Why? Why is it so unfair?'

'Because it is none of your business what I do!' she shouted, throwing her hands about madly. 'It's not as if you're my boyfriend - you don't own me like some pet, some - some lapdog!'

He said nothing. It looked for a moment as if he'd been winded, as if someone had served him a heavy punch in the stomach. His breathing had quickened and his head dropped, as if he was recovering to serve the next blow. He straightened up.

'So you admit to it then?' he reproved, his eyes flashing dangerously.

She couldn't believe it. He was so ready to assume the worst of her, to think that after all they had been through, that she'd just start snogging his best friend who liked someone else, anyway!

Just goes to show how much he trusts me.

Hermione scowled. 'I'll leave that up to you to decide,' she said, her tone as cold as the ice that surfaced the lake.

Her emotions feeling as if they were on fire, she stormed away from the lake, away from him. That way he could have his precious time alone. Angry tears stained her cheeks as she ran up to her dormitory, ignoring everyone in the common room. She didn't stop until she was safely inside.

She hoped he did think that she had fooled around with James; she hoped he did think that she had deliberately ignored him. He could hate her for all she cared.

If only he knew the truth, then he'd be sorry.

'If if's and buts were lollies and nuts...' she began, Dumbledore's annoying song popping suddenly into her head. 'FUCK!'

Her breaths came out choked and rapid as she leant against the door. It was a mix of trying to hold back her emotions as well as her inexperience in the running field; she wasn't used to working her body so hard.

She knew that she'd done nothing wrong, but Remus was making her feel as guilty as if she really had been secretly dating James. Not that it would have been a crime if she had at that! The unwarranted guilt was overwhelming, and without one more thought she flung herself hopelessly onto her bed.

Sobbing fervently into her pillow, she no longer felt at peace with the world; she felt like she was in the middle of a raging war and nothing nor no one could save her.

*-*-*

Not long after Hermione had left, Remus had chucked a few snowballs at the trees to try and get his anger out. When that didn't work, he went around the school kicking over each and every snowman he could find, the bigger the better (to his shock, several children had come up to him from behind a clump of bushes yelling at him for ruining what they'd worked on all afternoon. In the end he had spent another great deal of time building them a new one). Not feeling remotely satisfied he tried yelling, jumping, punching and stamping at the ground but all he gained from this was worried looks from bystanders and the attention of a curious squirrel that was nibbling an acorn on a nearby tree.

Frustrated with everything from bloody Isabelle and James to the bloody squirrel that sat on its bloody tree, watching him blankly while it took an hour to eat its bloody acorn, Remus stormed up to his dormitory and shut the door.

Wait, I'm angry.

He opened the dorm door again and slammed it ... hard. This action made him feel slightly better. Not for long however, as he turned around to find himself face to face with - James.

'What the hell did you say to her Remus?' was the first thing he said.

Remus vaguely noticed Sirius sitting on his bed in the background wearing a grim expression, but he didn't care. All he wanted to do was punch James square in the nose.

'Why is this all my fault now?' he shouted to no one in particular, looking around pointlessly.

'She came running into the common room looking completely distraught and wouldn't speak, just ran up to her room. So I'll ask again, what did you say?' James said severely, staring at him.

'I gave her a piece of my mind. I told her exactly what I thought about the two of you ... the two of you -'

'Making out in deserted classrooms?' Sirius interjected.

'Exactly!' he finished with a furious wave of his hand. And to think James had the nerve to look all confused and innocent. When Remus didn't say anything, he turned to Sirius questioningly.

Sirius cleared his throat. 'He thinks you and Isabelle had it off, Prongs.'

James turned back to Remus and shook his head in disbelief. 'You're an absolute idiot Moony,' James said plainly.

'Come again?' Remus said, caught off-guard.

'I said that you were an idiot. Got a problem with that? Because from where I'm standing it seems as if you've got quite a few problems you need to sort out, hey?' James ventured ardently. He looked away and shook his head in astonishment. 'What an IDIOT.'

'That's it!' roared Remus, seizing the first thing he could find and hurling it hard at James' head. Unfortunately, it happened to be a dirty sock which didn't even reach his head. They both watched it flop to the ground.

'Dang,' said Remus.

'Ah Moony,' James said earnestly. 'Isabelle and I have not done anything like ... like -' he searched for the right words, 'like what you think we have!'

'So why have you been spending so much time together?' Remus interrogated. He wasn't shouting but his voice was still wrought with bitterness.

James sighed. 'Because,' he began hesitantly. 'Ah, screw it. We've been spending so much time together because Isabelle has been giving me lessons on how to act towards girls. So that I can impress Lily,' he added with emphasis, 'who, if you haven't noticed Remus, I've happened to like since fifth year.'

Remus was simply staring at him as if this prospect was taking a while to register.

'Shit,' he said after a while.

'Yeah, shit,' James said resolutely.

There was another long silence when suddenly, Sirius began to laugh manically. James and Remus stared at him.

'Girl lessons!' he roared, 'James Potter taking girl lessons! Oh, that's classic.'

Remus, unable to hold back, joined in.

'Yes go on, laugh,' James said grudgingly. 'Can you see now why I made Isabelle swear not to tell anyone?'

Remus stopped laughing immediately and put his head in his hands. 'So that's why she was being so secretive,' he said despairingly, his voice muffled. 'Oh God I am an idiot.'

Sirius' laughter subsided too and he looked at his friend sadly. 'At least you've seen the light, my beasty brother,' he said tactlessly then after a moment burst into hysterics at this remark.

'I'm so sorry Prongs,' Remus said, taking his face out of his hands and ignoring Sirius's shrieks. 'Can you forgive me?'

'I can Moony, you're my best friend. All I ask is that next time you think before jumping to the conclusion that I'd betray you like that.'

Remus nodded. 'Of course.'

'And always remember that no matter where you go, there you are.'

Remus gave James a look that could only say "What the fuck?" but nodded and smiled anyway. James sighed grimly at Remus, whose smile wavered.

'But?'

'But, it isn't me you should be worrying about,' James said shortly, leaving the room.

*-*-*

Remus watched James go, feeling livid with himself. All that time he'd been so sure that James and Isabelle had been sneaking off and having some wild affair behind his back. Perhaps in the back of his mind he'd sort of known all along that it couldn't have been true, but everything had been pointing to the worst possible scenario in his head. At least it was all clear now. And although he was relieved that he had found out the truth, he didn't feel much better. Actually, he felt worse.

He'd been a complete bigot and realized with a start that he had not even tried to let Isabelle explain, he'd just interrogated her. And James, James should be angrier at him too. He'd hardly treated him like a best friend.

Remus decided then and there that he had felt more anger, jealousy, fear, frustration and awkwardness in the past four months than he had in all his seventeen years of existence.

Ever since she came.

But then again, he had also never laughed so much, smiled so much or felt so - so happy. Sure, he had his friends and they were great but, well, Sirius and James were practically attached to the hip and Peter was a little strange, so he always felt a tinge of exclusion. Now it was as if he'd found his match. It felt like every minute, every moment he spent with this girl his heart would be pounding a thousand times as fast - he'd be grinning for the rest of the day. Remus' head was spinning. He had never met someone like her and though she brought him bliss she was causing him absolute agony at the same time.

But he had completely blown it.

Finally coming out of his reverie, Remus realized that Sirius was still sniggering idiotically. 'Oh, shut up,' he snapped, walking over to his bed and flopping down limply.

He felt Sirius slap him on the shoulder sympathetically. 'So!' he said, resting a hand on his diaphragm.

'So what?' Remus asked crossly.

'So, what's your plan of action?'

Remus blinked. He had not given any thought to what came next. This only stressed him out more. 'Don't have one,' he said glumly. 'What could I possibly do to make it up to her?'

'Talk to her maybe?' Sirius said, looking at him.

'I'm not good at talking,' Remus grumbled. He rolled onto his side and picked up the ring he had kept from the day after he met Isabelle, twirling it languidly between his thumb and index finger. Its three blue gems momentarily turned into blue eyes; he could have sworn they were looking at him and saying, 'don't worry dickie, for a day without sunshine is like ... you know, night'.

'I could really do with some pizza right about now,' he said absently, realizing that he hadn't eaten all day, and if he was seeing and hearing things already, he probably should do something about it.

'That's it!' Sirius said triumphantly.

'You want me to feed her pizza?' asked Remus sceptically.

'No, you donut. Give her that.' Sirius pointed to the ring in Remus' hand.

'What? Why?'

'Because girls love jewellery,' Sirius said confidently. 'And, you know, you can always put a couple of charms on it to make her a little easier going on you.'

Remus grinned. 'Sirius, you're a genius.'

*-*-*

Hermione slowly opened her eyes. Startled to see that it was dark, she sat up and clumsily lit her bedside lantern. Her stomach growled, but looking at the clock, she realized she must have missed dinner.

Still in her clothes from that afternoon, she stumbled down the stairs into the common room. It was buzzing with students. She quickly spotted Lily who was sitting on the couch with a quill in her mouth, hunched over a piece of parchment. Hermione went and plonked herself down in an armchair near her.

'Ah. Look who has finally arisen,' Lily said in greeting. 'You're not going to die on me, are you?'

'I wish,' Hermione said through a gigantic yawn. 'I'm okay. I'm just a bit dazed, is all.'

'Well, you would be. I heard it was quite some row you had with Remus.'

'If it's alright with you Lil, I'd rather not talk about that right now,' Hermione said quietly. She really didn't feel up to facing it - not yet anyway. She wished she'd kicked Remus in the shins - it would have made her feel so much better. Or maybe if she'd punched him in the head, or somewhere else ...

Hermione grinned evilly. Lily gave her a brief worried look then started to write busily.

'What are you doing?' asked Hermione curiously.

'I'm writing down a list of all the reasons why I don't want to go out with James,' she said in a business-like way.

'What?' Hermione laughed. 'Why?'

'Because I'm afraid they're getting steadily more scarce.'

Just then the portrait hole opened. James, Sirius and Remus sauntered in joking and laughing while Peter followed behind them eagerly. Remus's eyes met Hermione's and she quickly looked away. Flashbacks of their screaming match flooded back to her and she suddenly felt all the anger that had begun drifting away as she had slept.

In the corner of her eye she saw him say something to his friends and look in her direction anxiously. They nodded and went over to sit down in a corner.

Don't come over here, she thought fiercely.

'Isabelle.'

Damnit.

'Look, I know what you must be thinking.'

Yes, you know what I'm thinking. Congratulations, you're a fucking mind reader, Arsy McArse.

She kept staring determinedly at the ground, vaguely aware of him leaning down against the arm of the chair. Biting him sounded good right about now.

'James. He - he told me the truth.'

'Oh did he?' Hermione said wryly, looking up at him at last. 'Pity. I was beginning to enjoy the whole secret relationship with James you created for me.'

'I'm so sorry,' he said expressively. 'If I could only find - the right words.'

The difference about Remus's apologies to anyone else's was that there was never any question as to whether they were real, Hermione thought, feeling sorry for him. When he apologized, his whole heart apologized - no strings attached. He was the type of person who ran on raw emotion, not silly teenage hormones, and this was what made him so genuine. Hermione couldn't help but feel a pang of admiration towards him, despite all her anger. For she could tell that not only his mouth was saying sorry, but rather every fibre of his being was desperately feeling it. And all that could be seen by looking into his world-worn eyes for but an instant.

Somehow the lively buzz of the common room had died down. People were looking at them, listening to them. Remus didn't seem to notice. In fact, he did the last thing Hermione ever would have expected him to.

He got down on one knee and took her right hand as if he were about to propose. Not only that but in his other hand he was holding a small velvet case. Hermione's eyes widened. She wasn't ready for marriage, not now! Not before her N.E.W.T's, not in 1978!

'Whoa,' she stammered.

'Isabelle Johnston,' he said seriously, looking into her eyes, 'I'd like to ask you something.'

Hermione squeaked in reply.

'Will ... you ...' and the whole room seemed to be holding their breath. 'Will you not look so scared? I'm apologizing, not proposing.'

She let out a breath of relief as the students around her chuckled. They went back to what they were doing and the buzz returned.

'Don't do that to me again, please?' she said, breathing hard.

He grinned audaciously and opened the case. Inside it was none other than the ring that the two of them had discovered by the lake so long ago. She couldn't believe he still had it. She took it carefully and frowned as she examined it.

'Put it on,' he urged, closing the case and putting it back in his robes.

She narrowed her eyes and held the ring up to the light.

'What are you doing?' he asked.

'Remus, I'm insulted,' she said, shaking her head.

'Oh no,' Remus said edgily. 'What have I done now?'

Hermione rolled her eyes and flicked the ring at Remus, crossing her arms. 'Well, you must have thought I was stupid if you didn't know I'd recognize the spells you put on that ring.'

Remus looked slightly sick. He cleared his throat. 'What spells?' he said hurriedly, bringing his arm round to scratch his neck guiltily.

She snatched the ring again, studying it closely. 'Forgiveness spell, forget-me-not, anger-no-more charm, oh, and a bit of a sympathy enchantment - how quaint,' she said promptly.

'They weren't permanent,' Remus muttered. Clearly he thought he'd get away with his scheme.

'Completely harmless, I'm sure.' Hermione couldn't help but laugh.

He screwed up his face in shame but eyed Hermione in wonder. 'I'd love to know how you figured all that out.'

Hermione shrugged. 'It really wasn't that hard to tell. I've read all about the signs that something is charmed.'

'You'll have to teach me someday then.'

'I suppose I will.' He smiled at her and she smiled back.

'You know, if you wanted forgiveness you should've just gotten me a pizza,' Hermione said as her stomach grumbled. 'I'm starving.'