Broken Good-byes

Broken Good-byes

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept,

things we don't want to know but have to learn,

and people we can't live without but have to let go.

The boy sneaks as quietly as he possibly can down the rickety staircase, avoiding the creaking steps with practiced ease. Rays of sunlight find their way in through the gaps in the curtains, lighting the hall with a soft glow that only a late summer sunrise could create, and he tries to hurry as he realises that the night has already passed. His movements cease instantly, however, when in his haste, he steps on a creaky stair; the dull sound washes through the silent house. Several seconds pass, though it may as well have been an eternity - but finally, the boy lets out a soft sigh and, hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulder, he continues down the stairs at his previous careful pace.

His worn trainers make no sound as he pads carefully across the hall, pausing to pull his too-big jeans higher up on his hips and adjust his belt, already pulled as tight as possible around his skinny waist. The t-shirt he wears is grey, although it shows signs of having been black in a previous life; and his head is bent down, letting his dark raven locks hang over his eyes.

Reaching the door, he slowly raises his hand to turn the doorknob, but loses his nerve and pauses, returning his hand to his side. He takes a deep breath; his eyelids flutter closed behind his fringe and his lips part slightly as he slowly releases the breath again. Hesitating for only another second or so, he raises his hand once more.

"Harry?"

The word is spoken so softly, so timidly; but to the boy's ears, it sounds like the loudest scream. He turns around to face the stairs again and his emerald-green eyes meet sleepy brown ones. The girl is standing halfway up the stairs, one hand on the banister and the other tugging self-consciously at the oversized t-shirt that reaches down to her knees. Her vivid red hair is pulled back in a loose braid, but a few strands have escaped to curl delicately on either side of her face. The boy's heart clenches as he watches her, but he stays by the door, afraid to break the moment.

"What are you doing?"

Again, her words are soft, but now they are spoken more tentatively than questioningly, as the sleep slowly disappears from her eyes and her brain catches up with what is happening. Guilt haunts the boy's eyes as he turns away, no longer able to face her.

"I need to leave." The words are whispered, but they ring out clearly in the silent house and the girl's eyes widen just slightly. The boy adjusts his backpack again and stares fixedly at his feet - anything to avoid the girl's questioning gaze.

"Why?" she asks, a frown crossing her freckled face as she tries to seek out the boy's eyes, but fails miserably. "Where are you going?"

"I . . ." the boy starts, but he breaks off to look up, once more meeting her confused eyes. Doubt clouds his features and his lips part slightly, but they are unable to form the words he wants to say, the words he feels deep down in his soul but can't express. Full of guilt, he looks away again, thinking it safer not to be able to see the girl before him. "I can't tell you," he murmurs. "It's just something I have to do." His words are soft, spoken with a touch of uncertainty, and they fade away in the silence.

Tension fills the room as the sun rises higher in the sky outside, and a newly awoken bird sings its praises for the new day.

"I don't understand . . ." she whispers, her voice begging him for answers to the thousand questions she wants to ask but can't get past her lips. Her bottom lip trembles with suppressed sobs and her grip on the banister tightens as she tries to anchor herself to reality, to not fall apart. But the unshed tears in her eyes betray her.

"It's better if you don't," the boy says, shuffling his feet - but then, a sudden determination comes over his face and he looks up, his eyes focusing on her face. There is still guilt in them, and the pain is clear, but she can also see his strength, and conviction that what he is doing is the right thing. "Safer," he says in a strong voice.

Time freezes as they stare at each other, and something powerful is shared between them in that one look. Every thought, every feeling, is thrust in to the light and for just this moment they are one mind, separated into two different bodies. It is a moment they will both carry in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

But time can't stand still forever, and eventually it all catches up to the pair as the outside world crashes into focus again. A crystalline tear escapes from one of the girl's eyes and rolls slowly down her pale cheek. "When will I see you again?" she asks, her voice shaking with emotion and her eyes shining with the knowledge that whatever answer he gives will not be the one she wishes for with all of her heart.

The boy tries to stay strong for her, but his eyes fill with tears, too. "I don't know," he says, his voice wavering, and in his eyes shines the fear that they both share: the fear that, in the end, the answer to her question will be 'never' . . .

Giving the girl before him one last sad glance, the boy turns away and opens the door. He pauses, one foot outside and his fingers gently resting on the doorknob, lowering his head and closing his eyes. A soft breeze makes its way in through the open door, rustling his hair softly as if it were a caress, and then disintegrating into nothingness. A sigh leaves the boy's lips and he licks them nervously.

"I'm sorry."

And with those last words of parting, those last words of regret, he leaves the girl crying on the staircase behind him and walks away.