Destiny's Dilemma

October 1981

"I love you, Lily, Harry." James Potter's lips moved over the dark crown of his son's head after meshing with Lily's tender lips. As he met his wife's eyes, a look of desperation passed between them.

"James.... he's coming." The malevolent presence of evil seeped into their house like a dark mist. She pressed closer to her husband, as if together they could defeat the most powerful wizard alive.

"I know," James replied unnecessarily. He looked into her emerald eyes. "I love you, Lily, and I will protect you to my dying breath. Remember, when he comes, you flee. Protect Harry. We have had a chance to live; he must be given those same opportunities. I love you, my darling." His lips touched hers again in a kiss that exploded with the love he felt for his family.

"James, I love you so much," Lily whispered against his lips. Just one more day; they needed just one more day together. She kissed him again, giving him every ounce of her love. She knew in her heart that these would be the last moments she and her husband would ever spend together. "Godspeed, love." She touched his lips with her fingertips. Her voice rose as an angry wind swirled around their nondescript home "Take my love and strength, James. Let it help you fight him." Her words were drowned out as their door imploded, shards of wood showering the two adults and the baby that they tried to shield.

"JAMES!" Lily saw the large chunk of wood embedded in her husband's upper arm as he turned away from her to face their intruder. He was already wounded, and the injury effected his wand arm! How could James hope to win against the evil when he was already injured!

"Never mind that! Run, Lily. Take Harry and run! I'll hold on as long as I can."

As much as it hurt her to leave her husband, Lily knew that he was right. She had to protect Harry at all costs. "I love you, James!" She raced around a corner and glanced up the stairs as the first curse was hurled toward her.

"Accio!" The man's voice was so evil! She barely dodged the curse as it hit the moulding of the doorframe she was leaning against.

"All right, Harry." She tried to keep her voice calm. "Mummy is going to take you upstairs to the attic. Your daddy charmed the attic so that it would be an excellent hiding place for us. We will go up there and hide until the evil man is gone. Then daddy will come for us, and we will take another trip." Harry started struggling, and she clutched the baby closer, tapping his throat gently with her wand. "Silenceo. Darling, I hate to do that but, all will be lost if your daddy loses this battle and you cry."

Lily didn't know where she got the strength to be calm as her house was rocked by white and dark magic. The battle went on for nearly a quarter hour, but she could feel the strength of the white magic waning as Voldemort slowly gained the upper hand over her husband.

"Avada Kedavra!" The voice sounded weary, but still strong. Most importantly, the voice was not her husband's! A huge explosion shook the very foundation of the house. Lily made a small keening noise of need as she felt her husband's life leaving hers. "Oh, James," she whispered tearfully into her son's hair, as tears coursed down her cheeks.

Harry was fussing, and looking at his mother with an alarmed expression. "Don't worry, darling. Mummy will protect you. You will not be hurt, as long as I can take breath." James had made that vow to the both of them as well, and now he was unable to make good on that promise.

Voldemort was coming for them! Any moment, he would crest the stairs and make his way to the attic. The wards would hardly be a challenge for him. Her death, as well as that of her precious son, was looming. Lily took a deep breath to fortify herself. The idea of dying didn't frighten her at all. In her twenty-one years of life, Lily had seen her share of death, from the suspicious house fire that killed her and James' parents a few years ago, to countless deaths and destruction of her friends and schoolmates at the hands of Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

She waited, ready to face death at any moment.

But death never came to Lily and Harry Potter. Lily looked at her Muggle watch, and counted off the minutes. First fifteen, then thirty minutes, without any motion at all coming from within the house, save for her harsh breathing. With infinite slowness Lily made her way to the small attic window and looked out.

The formerly deserted streets held only a few curious people. There was no one running in terror and there were no signs of malevolent magic on the streets. Lily stared out the window until the low purr of an engine signaled Sirius Black's motorcycle arriving.

"Come, Harry. Voldemort is not the type of wizard to lie in wait so we should be safe. He is most likely long gone from this place."

Lily's heart was heavy as she cautiously unwarded the attic and opened the door. The house was silent, but the oily feel of black magic had tainted everything. She gathered her son even more tightly to her heart as she descended the stairs.

"Oh, James!" A huddled, cloaked heap lay near the door. Lily picked her way through the destruction that had been her living room and moved to the form. As she got closer, she realized that it was a black velvet cloak and not even James' property. "James? James, where are you?" Tears began their journey down Lily's cheeks again as she moved methodically over broken furniture, glass and wood shards, and smoking patches of ruined carpet.

"James? JAMES!" A shadow appeared in the broken doorway and she moved to it, stopping suddenly as she realized that the shape was much broader than that of her husband. She struggled to focus through her tears.

"Lily? What the hell happened here?" The man moved to gather her in a gentle hug. "Where is James? Are you and Harry hurt?"

"Sirius!" She buried her head against the familiar chest, and for a moment, she thought that everything would work out. If Sirius had arrived, then she and he could find James. Everything would be all right.

"Lily, what happened?" Sirius asked, his sense of nervousness rising. Powerful black magic had touched his friend's house. "Where is James?"

"Voldemort happened, Sirius. He came here. How could he find us? We had the Fidelius charm done? You didn't even know?" She shook her head. "How did you find us, Sirius?" she trembled mightily and broke into another sob. "I don't know where James is. He and Voldemort were fighting, and I heard Voldemort do the unspeakable on him, but I can’t find his body. Sirius, we have to find his body!"

"Body?" This was all too much for Sirius. He had to get out of the haze of black magic. He had to get Lily and impressionable baby Harry away from it as well. "Outside, it's oppressive in here. Come outside with me. The Ministry will be here soon. You're safe now." He spoke woodenly, refusing to feel the pain even as his emotions threatened to crest.

Lily didn't react as he gently led her outside and slipped Harry into his heavy leather jacket. Sirius knew with dawning certainty that James was dead. Voldemort would have never left this place without ensuring at least that. Questions and grief swirled in Sirius heart and soul, fighting for supremacy.

"Will you be ok to stay here? I'll try to find James, Lil." Sirius didn't know what else he could do, but he had to at least find his friend's body for Lily. She was owed at least that much.

"Stay with me, please," Lily pleaded, clutching at his black tee shirt.

"If that is what you need." Sirius allowed, wrapping his arms tightly around her after he pulled out warm robes from a side bag of his bike. Once he was certain that she had settled into his embrace and was not trembling from the cold, he allowed himself to think about the causes of this tragedy.

It was obvious to him that someone had sold out his friends to the white wizarding world's greatest enemy, and he knew exactly who the culprit was. It could only be James and Lily's Secret Keeper. The pain of loss and betrayal bit deeply into Sirius and his ire rose by the second. He knew that it would be impossible to leave Lily alone in her delicate state, but at the same time, every emotion in him sang out to find Peter and kill him.

Sirius clenched his jaw, and stared unseeingly at the damaged home of the Potters. Their life was similarly torn apart, and he would fix it whatever the cost.

"Sirius?" He whirled as he heard two voices calling to him from a short distance away. Something instinctive told him to tuck Lily and Harry behind him, so he quickly made his way around to the other side of his bike, hiding them from the view of the newcomers.

Remus Lupin broke into a run a short distance away as he recognized the expression of agony on his friend's face. "No, Sirius. Don't tell me that Voldemort got to them!" He realized belatedly that Sirius' attention wasn't on him; that Sirius' eyes bored into his companion.

"Hello, Peter." His voice was deceptively calm.

"S-Sirius?" Peter replied. He was taken off balance by Sirius' calm demeanor. Suddenly, his expression turned shrewd. "Sirius, How could you? James and Lily trusted you enough to be their Secret Keeper. How could you betray them? Poor James, Poor Lily, Poor baby Harry!"

Remus turned unbelieving eyes onto Peter. Could it really be true? Could Sirius have possibly betrayed James and Lily? "Sirius?" He asked, fumbling for his wand. "I think that you owe us an explanation. No sudden moves..."

Lily had heard the exchange and even in her muddled state, she could take a guess to where the discussion was leading. "Poor Lily," she said, heartbreak evident in every word as she stepped to Sirius' side. "Poor Lily lived, Peter, and poor Lily knows that you were responsible for this!" She held her wand in shaking hands. "Stupefy!"

Remus rushed forward and secured Peter, questions swirling around in the space that separated him from his friends. Finally convinced that the man was well and truly bound and unable to run even when he regained consciousness, Remus secured him to a tree and quickly cut the distance between the couple near the motorcycle and himself. "James and Harry, are they safe?"

"Voldemort did one of the unspeakables on James, Remus." Sirius replied softly. "I was just about to go in and check when Lily and Harry came out. They needed me more."

Remus swore softly, and closed his eyes. Lily had burrowed deep into Sirius' cloak again. "Frank and Allison Longbottom were a short distance behind us. They'll be able to take Peter into custody and investigate." He wrapped his arms around Lily awkwardly, glancing down at the alert but silent child in her arms. "Harry is unhurt?"

"James had Harry and I hide in the attic. Voldemort didn't come after us after..." She shook her head mutely as her grief took hold again.

Remus and Sirius shared a significant look. Why hadn’t Voldemort come after Lily and Harry? Had James somehow wounded him so severely that he couldn't attack Lily? Was a posse of Death Eaters just waiting to finish his work?

"We need to get you to safety, Lily. As soon as the other aurors get here, we'll do just that," Remus said gently.

"No!" She pushed firmly against his chest. "I cannot leave James, Remus. We have to find him!"

"Lily," Remus tipped her chin up. "You trust Sirius and I, right? You know that we need to get you someplace safe."

She met his eyes bleakly. "If Peter betrayed us, I don't know how to trust anymore."

Even though her words stung, both men knew that she didn't mean it wholly. If so, she would have taken Harry and fled. Her feelings were perfectly justified, given the fact that Peter had betrayed she and James in the worst way.

Remus couldn't take it anymore. He needed to have answer. He gently shifted Lily into Sirius' arms and walked toward the house.

"Remus, be careful!" he turned to look at his old friend and nodded.

"I will be. I am an auror after all." When Remus entered the house, he immediately felt the oppressive, menacing presence of dark magic pressing down upon his slight form. He scanned the living room, noting the marks of curses thrown that had gone astray. How many of those curses had met their mark?

"James?" Remus whispered his friend's name as he moved through the debris that had once been the Potter house. He stopped for a long moment at a cloak. He didn't need his auror license to know that the cloak was absolutely reeking with the scent and feel of Dark Magic. It had to be Voldemort's. He gasped as he saw a wand curled within the dark velvet folds. It looked like Voldemort's wand and if so, what did that mean? Had Voldemort been so badly wounded that he had abandoned his wand and cloak? Could he have summoned the energy to apparate in such a weakened state? Could the wand and cloak have been left as a diversion? That was hardly the Dark Lord's way.

Remus knew what he had to do. His heart raced as he reached for the wand, but as his hand began to curl around it, his confidence grew until his fingers wrapped around the wood. A sharp jerk and his thoughts were unwittingly in another place.

"NO!"

Remus looked around as he watched James and Voldemort locked in a lethal battle. James was bleeding from half a dozen places, but seemed to be holding his own. Then, he stumbled. "Oh, good Merlin, NO!" Remus cried, anticipating how Voldemort would take advantage of his friend's weak moment. "Fight him, James. Say it first!"

"Avada Kedavra!" Remus winced as Voldemort thundered the death curse. A bright green light, a scream cut off mid stream, and Remus dropped the wand.

"Remus!" He focused on Sirius' worried face over his. "Are you all right?" Sharp gasps of breath rent the silence of the room.

"I...think so."

"What the hell happened?" Remus turned to look at the newcomer. It seemed that the Longbottoms had arrived. "Frank, thank goodness you're here. He got to James and Lily."

"I know." The kindly man put a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Sirius and Lily filled me in."

"Lily? Who is with her? Is she alone with Pettigrew?" Remus' voice shook mightily.

"Allison is here as well." Frank exchanged a worried look with Sirius. "Remus, let's get you out of here."

Remus allowed himself to be walked outside before speaking again. "I don't understand, Frank. That's Voldemort's wand and cloak, but he is nowhere to be found."

"Really?" Frank looked interested, before comprehension dawned. "You touched his wand, didn't you, Remus?"

Remus nodded. " When I touched it, something happened. I saw it all. He did the killing curse on James. I heard James scream..." He shuddered. "I dropped the wand then, Frank. It was too much."

"I understand," Frank said soothingly. "Remus, Sirius, why don't you take Lily and Harry to our safehouse in Hogsmeade. You all need to be away from here. Allison and I will apparate there when we have some news about James. We have sent owls onward, and should have some Ministry officials nearby to help." When Remus and Sirius seemed set to disagree, Frank put a warning hand up. "You're both far too close to this case to maintain any objectivity. James may have destroyed Voldemort, but Allison and I need to thoroughly investigate before we can be certain, and we can't do that with you lot around. Lily needs her closest friends nearby, anyway. Who else has she got right now?"

Remus nodded sadly. "Come to us as soon as you can, with answers. Lily needs to be sure of James' fate before rest will come. Good luck, Frank."

"Rest, all of you. We will get you your answers." Frank paused for a moment. "I am so sorry about this. James was a wonderful fellow and a great auror. I was glad to consider him one of my best friends."

Sirius made a small noise deep in his throat. "James isn't dead, Frank. Somehow and somewhere, he is alive. We just have to find him."

Frank Longbottom sighed, and patted Sirius on the shoulder. "I hope so, my friend." He tried to sound convincing, but knew that he and the others didn't believe that James was alive.