- Rating:
- R
- House:
- Astronomy Tower
- Ships:
- Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Original Female Muggle/Severus Snape Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
- Characters:
- Alastor Moody Bellatrix Lestrange Other Canon Female Muggle Other Canon Wizard Draco Malfoy Lucius Malfoy Luna Lovegood Minerva McGonagall Narcissa Malfoy Original Female Muggle Peter Pettigrew Remus Lupin Severus Snape Nymphadora Tonks Harry and Hermione and Ron Viktor Krum Lord Voldemort The Weasley Family
- Genres:
- Romance Angst
- Era:
- The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
- Spoilers:
- Half-Blood Prince
- Stats:
-
Published: 09/12/2006Updated: 04/21/2007Words: 46,848Chapters: 11Hits: 5,328
The Old Walls Crumble
cearrae27
- Story Summary:
- Our tale begins immediately following the tragic events on the night of Dumbledore's murder. Where did Severus Snape go? Who helped him? The story is an exploration into the many faces of an undercover spy. Who is this man? What is his true self? Can redemption be found in loving another? Travel a while with the Slytherin spy and see how his life evolves.
Chapter 04 - Mourning Choices
- Chapter Summary:
- In the aftermath of the meeting with Voldemort, our characters must deal with the consequences. How do people change when they lose those closest to them?
- Posted:
- 11/09/2006
- Hits:
- 537
Author's Notes: With thanks once more to Laurabeth, my beta, and to the patience of the Admins who all seem to love comma's... hmmm.
Disclaimer.
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK
Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books,
Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being
made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
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Snape paced the length of the hallway of the loft that the Lestranges used as a
home. He paused in his course and looked over at Draco, who was sitting on a
cot with his arms wrapped around his bent knees. His forehead still rested on
his upturned legs, but he had stopped crying and now only rocked, as if trying
to comfort himself. Taking a deep breath, Snape strode over to Bellatrix who
was sitting at a table drinking Firewhisky with her
husband and his brother.
"Did you know what he had planned?" he demanded in a quiet voice. He was
ignored. Fisting a handful of her hair, he pulled Bella's head back. "DID YOU
KNOW?" he shouted.
Her husband and brother stood and pointed their wands at the enraged man.
"Unhand my wife, Snape. She knew nothing. None of us did," Rodolphus told
Snape. "Now back off." He continued to hold his wand at Snape's neck, waiting
for him to release Bella.
Snape released the woman with a jerk and stepped back. "Who else knew about
your plans for them? Pettigrew, Avery--who?"
"Peter knew, but he was always supportive of me and my plans." Bellatrix
looked up at Snape, blinking through bleary eyes. "He didn't trust you either,
you bastard. We thought we had you with the Vow," she slurred before she turned
back to pour more whisky in her glass. "We were always our Lord's favourites.
There was nothing we wouldn't do for him." She sipped and choked. Her coughing
turned into sobs. "My sister, my only sister," she wailed.
"You have another sister," Snape mentioned quietly, knowing how Bellatrix felt
about her younger sibling.
Bellatrix stood suddenly and threw her glass at him, only to miss. It shattered
on the wall beside his head. "I have no other sister. I deny the existence of
that loathsome creature, Andromeda. She's no relative of mine. She never
existed," she shrieked. Bellatrix wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"I... I am the last of the Black line," she declared, pounding her chest with a
fist to emphasise her point. "It's all gone wrong... all wrong." She sank back
onto her chair and rested her head upon her arms on the table.
Severus looked at the drunken woman, then turned away
in disgust. "Take your wife in hand, Lestrange, before she embarrasses you
anymore."
"She grieves for her sister, Snape. What do you expect?" Rodolphus shot back.
"The only person she feels sorry for is herself," Snape retorted. "It's been so
long since you've lain with her as a husband that you've forgotten what a
selfish bitch she is."
Lestrange pounded the table and stared at his unconscious wife. "You have no
right to judge how we live, Snape. You know I can't function as a husband to
her since Azkaban. You have no right to point fing...
" He was about to rise from his chair when he felt a wand tip pressed into his
neck.
"Don't you dare speak to me of rights. Your late
sister-in-law and your wife have seen to it whatever rights I had have been
buried in Dumbledore's tomb." He pushed the older man away and bent over Bella.
"Did you hear me, woman?" He straightened and walked away. "I thought not."
Draco had looked up at the raised voices and was now staring at Snape. "Where
can I go, sir?" he asked quietly, no trace of arrogance in his tone. "I really
don't want to stay here."
"Unlike some, I do have contacts outside of the country that are reliable,"
Snape told him. "We'll go back to my house, and I will make arrangements with
Durmstrang for this year." He turned his head towards the table. "I expect your
family will have some funds available for your use."
Rodolphus looked at his wife, then nodded.
Draco stood and took a deep breath. "Can we leave now, sir?" He looked up at
Snape, who was still taller than him. His eyes had lost the look of childhood.
They were mirror images of Snape's own, shielded and hard.
"Yes, I've heard enough." Snape turned to the table once more. "Tell Bella the
plans. I want five hundred galleons, in cash, in two weeks." Snape pulled the
boy with him and made his way outside, Apparating them both to Manchester and taking him home to
Spinner's End.
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"You're not upset, are you, Harry?" Tonks asked.
Harry shook his head. "No, not really. I just wish
he'd told me ahead of time."
"He was under a lot of pressure to get everything in place before he... well,
you know." Tonks trailed off, not sure of what else to say.
The young woman was still not her usual ebullient self. Tonks and Professor
McGonagall had taken Harry aside to explain that Dumbledore had turned over the
responsibility of being the house's Secret Keeper to Tonks. She had known for
weeks that he was close to dying and that knowledge, along with the new duty,
had weighed heavily upon her. In the meantime, Professor McGonagall and the rest
of the Order of the Phoenix had taken to meeting at
Grimmauld Place once more.
"How long would he have lasted if Snape hadn't cast the curse, Professor?" he
asked.
"Not long, Potter," she replied. "Even less, after drinking
the potion from the basin that held the false necklace." She looked at
his frown and clarified. "He knew something of what he would need to do before
he took you on your quest."
Harry was surprised at her revelation. "You knew about what he was doing?"
McGonagall simply nodded.
"But it was a useless search, Professor." Harry stood up and went to play with
the artefacts on the fireplace mantle. "We're no further ahead."
The elder woman looked at her tightly clasped hands before rising to approach
him. "Harry, there was nothing that Albus did that was useless," she said
with conviction. "It may not have been the result that you wanted or expected,
but you do know you are looking for a necklace. Now, you have many people
willing to help. We will find the horcruxes' and we will destroy them." She
patted the young man on the shoulder and turned to Tonks. She beckoned to the
Auror to follow and left Harry alone in the front parlour.
Harry looked into the flames, letting his mind wander. He remembered seeing
Dumbledore for the first time as he entered the Great Hall of Hogwarts at
eleven years old. The revered wizard sat at the HIgh
Table, as a monarch upon his throne. Only when his eyes turned to watch as
Harry was sorted did the true Dumbledore shine through. As the cry of
'Gryffindor' resounded through out the Hall, Harry had turned to see the
glinting blue eyes and warm smile of the old man. Harry felt his throat
constrict as his despair threatened to overtake him.
"All right there, Harry?"
Harry turned his head and saw Remus looking at him curiously. He smiled as best
he could.
"Yeah, I'm fine, really." He turned his back on the fire. "How are you, Remus?
You look very tired."
Remus chuckled softly, "I'm not cut out for this werewolf life. I've had it
soft, thanks to Snape and his Wolfsbane Potion." He paused when he saw the look
on Harry's face.
"Don't do it, Harry, don't let your anger take over."
"How can I not," Harry replied through gritted teeth. "He killed the man who
gave me a home. Snape murdered someone I looked upon as a grandfather. How can
I not hate the person who took as much from me as Voldemort did?"
Remus shook his head, "You must not let those feelings rule you, Harry. That
path is not one to be taken. You seek revenge when you should be pursuing
justice. They are not the same thing, and the difference is what sets us apart
from wild animals." He walked forward and placed a hand on each of Harry's
shoulders. "You have friends and allies who deserve your respect and loyalty.
You can't pursue a personal vendetta. Don't descend to the level of those you
seek to punish."
Harry looked into the soft eyes of his father's friend and could no longer hold
back the tears. As he wept silently, Harry felt Remus pull him into a fierce
hug. He let himself be held as he wept for the passing of the people he loved
and for losing the final vestiges of his youth.
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The night was mostly overcast with the moon glancing
out occasionally from behind the clouds. Two wizards crossed the sandy
causeway, revealed at low tide, to their destination of Holy Island.
"Are you sure of this, Professor?" asked Draco. "It's not another trap?"
Snape looked at the worried frown on Draco's face. "The Dark Lord knows of the
need to remove you from England. He has made his point,
in a disastrous way for you, of course. When He Who Must Not Be Named feels he
has been gainsaid his rightful judgement, blood is usually spilt." He sighed
deeply, feeling far older than his forty years. "It has been far worse this
past year."
"May I ask a personal question, sir? I tried to ask my father when I was
younger, but he always put me off." Draco clambered over a seawall and made his
way down the rocky beach, followed by Snape.
"That depends on how personal," Snape replied.
"When you made your decision to follow You-Know-Who, what brought you to that
moment? What was it that made you think he was worth giving that kind of
loyalty to?" Draco asked, and then fell silent. He thought Snape wouldn't
answer.
"Would it were the answer was that simple, Draco." Snape stopped walking just
where the waves stopped lapping on the shore and looked out at the dark
horizon. "There's no one reason, more a set of circumstances. I suppose I
wanted to prove I was as good as any pure-blooded wizard. Acceptance into his
ranks put me on an equal footing they could not deny. Then there was the chance
to delve more deeply into the Dark Arts. Magic so powerful and compelling it
was outlawed. How could I resist the opportunity to increase my power, so as to
exact revenge against my tormentors?" Snape looked back at Draco, who was now
looking out over the North Sea.
"Why did you want to take the Dark Mark, Malfoy?" Snape asked.
Draco shrugged, "There was never a moment I thought I wouldn't take it. My
father took it at my age, and his friends with him." He looked up at his former
professor. "I am a Malfoy and we are... were among the elite of all Wizarding
families in Britain." The youth shook his
head. "The fact is, I didn't think about it. I was the heir to a family who
expected me to become a champion of their cause. It was my duty."
"Duty." Snape snorted in derision. "Duty is a four
letter word, Malfoy. It has caused more pain and created more
mayhem in these past few years than the entire war with Grindelwald ever did."
"You sound bitter, sir. Do you question your choice now?" asked Draco.
The water began to surge in front of them as Snape replied. "I've asked myself
'why' every day since the Dark Lord rose again, and every day I have no good
answer. Think on what I've said, Draco, and choose a path to freedom."
A smaller version of the Durmstrang ship appeared out of the water before them
and came to rest on the shoal just off shore. As they watched, a gangway
magically extended from the bow and ended at their feet.
Draco turned to Snape and extended his hand as he had when he had returned home
with his mother. "It seems I'm always thanking you, Professor."
"I'm no longer your teacher, Draco. When next we meet, you may call me
Severus." He shook Draco's hand and was only slightly surprised when the young
man reached out and hugged him. He was more surprised at himself when he
returned it. "Durmstrang teaches things you would never have learned at
Hogwarts, Draco. Learn the lessons well, and return to England with knowledge to help
your kind."
Draco stood back and took the shrunken trunk Severus had removed from his
robes. "Be careful, sir. I want you here when I get back; we have work to do."
"Indeed. Good luck, Malfoy. Remember you are a Slytherin. Be proud." Snape
pushed Draco to the gangway, which began to fold up behind him as he climbed.
As he boarded the ship, Draco turned and waved before disappearing below decks.
Snape watched as the ship submerged into the water and the waves settled until
they bore no evidence there had ever been a visitor to the shore. He looked
once at the moon, which had suddenly escaped the confines of the clouds, then Apparated back to Manchester to walk to his dreary
house where he was alone once more.
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Jenny sat in the back of the taxi that was taking her home after leaving her
sister's. September 30th. Every year on this date, she looked after her niece
and nephews. She'd spent the evening childminding, and her head was still
pounding from the nonsense three kids could get up to in the space of four
hours. She relaxed and closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the
seat.
"Miss, the road, it is blocked," said the cabbie in a strong South Asian
accent. "I must go back and come around the other way."
Jenny sat up and looked out the front window of the taxi. There were flashing
blue lights, which could only belong to police cars, blocking the road in every
direction.
"Is it an accident?" she asked.
"I don't know, miss. Should I back up and go around?" he asked again.
Jenny looked around and saw she was close to home. "No," she replied,
"I'll walk from here; it's not far." She fumbled in her handbag for her
purse.
"It is not safe for a young woman to walk alone, miss."
"Are you going to turn the metre off?" she asked. His look was answer enough.
"I thought not. Here, is this enough?" She passed him ten pounds.
"Yes, yes, thank you, miss. Take care," he called as she got out of the cab.
Jenny looked around once more before setting off in the direction of her house.
She remembered her mother had walked home all the time from her part time job
at the pub, but those were different days. She'd be fine, she decided, and
stepped up her pace. The darkest stretch of road passed the river: just a short
jaunt.
Jenny's eyes kept looking around, making sure she was alone. A sharp crack
caused her to jump and cry out. She pulled her handbag closer to her body and
sped up her pace once more. Then the sound of footsteps behind her was enough
to make her break into a jog. The steps behind her kept pace.
"Miss Doulton."
She stopped; she knew that voice. She turned and saw Severus Snape behind her.
"Shit, you frightened me!" she exclaimed. Her heart still thundered in her
chest loud enough to be heard, she was convinced.
"Why are you walking alone in the dark so late in the evening? Surely you know
how risky that is." He watched as she tried to compose herself.
Jenny took a deep breath to settle her nerves. "My taxi couldn't get past the
road block. I didn't want to pay double for the trip," she admitted.
Snape nodded, "I see." He quarrelled internally with himself for a moment.
"Perhaps I could escort you to your door?" he offered.
Jenny looked at him sideways. "How do I know you're not some weirdo belonging
to a religious cult or something? Maybe you're a terrorist plotting to
overthrow the government?" Jenny was teasing in a light tone, but frowned when
she saw the look on his face. "I was just kidding, Severus."
He offered a short smile. "Of course you were. Did you want me to walk with
you?"
"Sure," she replied and then with a look of surprise, accepted the elbow he
offered.
"They must practise posh manners at that school you went to," she said to make
conversation.
Snape snorted, "You wouldn't think so if you saw the students in action."
"I don't think we got away with as much as this generation does. When they come
in the library, you can't take your eyes off them. They think it's fun to write stuff in books and then watch when someone
else reacts to the rubbish they've written." She pulled him to turn into her
street.
"You are a librarian, Miss Doulton?" he asked out of courtesy.
"I am actually, but I could only get a job as a clerk. Hopefully, if a place
comes open, I can get first refusal. And it's Jenny,
not Miss Doulton," she reminded him.
"Employment is still hard to come by these days, I take it."
"Yeah," she replied, "but it's getting a little better. Where do you work?" she
asked.
"I was a teacher at the same school I attended," he replied.
"So, if it's a boarding school, how come you're not back there now? School has
started," she asked.
Severus thought quickly. "The school has been closed for, ah, renovations. The
students are attending elsewhere this year."
"So, you've been made redundant." Jenny stopped, as they'd reached her house.
Snape nodded, "Yes, something like that. This is your home?" he asked.
"Yeah, would you like to come in for a cuppa?" she asked.
"No, I think not. The hour is late. Have a good night, Miss... " He paused as
she held up her finger. "Goodnight, Jenny."
"Goodnight, Severus, and thank you." She turned and
opened her door, turning back to wave to him before closing and locking it
behind her.
Snape turned back the way he had come, feeling uncomfortable at how close she
had come to describing exactly what he was. As he walked the short distance
home, he went over in his mind the list of potions required by his dark master.
He would need to make a trip to Diagon Alley to get components he had run out
of. Perhaps this was something his Muggle persona could help with. A haircut
and beard trim were quite in order. What better way to obtain a sample of hair
for the Polyjuice Potion?
He made his way to the house on Spinner's End. Walking into the front room, he
turned on the portable radio and tuned the dial to the BBC classical station.
He toed off his dragonhide boots and padded into the kitchen to heat milk for
hot cocoa. He sat at the small table listening to an aria by Maria Callas,
thinking how much more pleasant it would have been to share a cup of tea with
Jenny. The hissing of milk boiling over drove away his daydream and he rose to
make the beverage.
Severus sat on the sofa and placed his mug on the rickety side table. The
music, both melancholy and beautiful, wound its way around his senses. The
emotion evoked by the melody suddenly overtook his stoic demeanour. The tears
came unbidden to his eyes as his diaphragm clenched in an attempt to defeat his
distress.
"Why, old man? Why did you so imprison my soul?"
Severus let his tears fall, for once and for all, mourning the loss of someone
who had loved him, yet had demanded of him a most horrible task.