The Silent Specter of Hogwarts

Chapter Six – The Cost of Friendship

Hermione gave Harry exactly twenty-four hours to come to terms with his recent experience before she began demanding answers. She started first by fussing over him at every meal and between classes. When Harry continued to ignore her subtle hints, she began tuttingat him, clearly annoyed.  Ron was amused by the whole situation, if his sly grins were anything to consider.

Now ensconced in an armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor common room, Harry was doing his best to ignore Hermione’s unwavering stare as he played chess with Ron.

“You’re being a prat, Harry,” Ron said as his pieces jeered Harry’s. “Why not just tell us what happened?”

The direct question deflated Harry and reminded him of everything he was trying to forget. Hermione slammed her book shut and dragged a chair next to Ron, crossed her arms and waited.

“It’s not that easy,” Harry said.

“It could be,” Hermione replied, her voice surprisingly gentle. “We’re your friends, Harry. No matter what. It should be that easy.”

Even the chess piece had turned to stare at Harry as he buried his face in his hands. “Don’t you two ever get tired of it all?”

“Of …what all?” Ron asked.

“Of standing right next to a moving target,” Harry growled. “I am. I am so bloody, sodding tired of everything. Of Voldemort. Of everyone staring at my scar. Of the whispers that follow me everywhere I go. Even of Dumbledore and Sirius trying to protect me.Of worrying that you two are going to get killed because of me. Of being so scared that I’m going to fail and get myself killed. Of everyone expecting me to do something magnificent all the time.” Harry slammed a fist onto the table, scaring Hermione and jostling the chess pieces so that they protested. “Even the bloody ghosts in this place expect me to be able to do the miraculous. I am just so TIRED!”

The silence that descended on the trio was difficult to break. Hermione cleared her throat a couple of times but wasn’t quite able to get a word out.

It was Ron who finally blurted out, “Well, if anyone got a clear look at you, they’d know you aren’t good looking enough a bugger to be a hero.”

“Ron!” Hermione said.

“No, really,” Ron said, “take a gander at him, Hermione. He’s not nearly as handsome as I am. Lockhart was a world class idiot, but at least he looked the part.”

“Honestly!”

Suddenly, Harry began to laugh. Ron laughed with him, despite Hermione shaking her head and rolling her eyes at them.

“I really hope,” Harry said when he had managed to get some air, “that looking like you isn’t the goal.”

“Did you really need to ask that question?” Hermione said, ever to the point. “Do you really need to ask if we’d choose to be any place but right here with you?”

“No, he doesn’t,” Ron said firmly, leaning his arms on his knees to look right at Harry. “He knows we wouldn’t be anywhere else. He knows we wouldn’t want to miss out on the fun. Even when it’s not as much fun as it is scary. He knows he’s just being a prat.”

Harry raised his hands in mock surrender.

“So, mate,” Ron continued. “How about you just tell us where you skived off to during Meditation?”

Leaning back on the comfortable cushions, Harry did just that. He left no detail out, from the moment he looked down upon his body, to the terrifying, dizzying ride through the corridors, and the insistent voice that had beckoned. He looked straight at Ron throughout the telling, finding it easier to meet his best friend’s unwavering stare than to see the stream of emotions that inevitably crossed Hermione’s face.

“Sometimes I wonder why this school teaches us some of the things it does,” Ron commented as Harry’s voice tapered off.

“I’m not sure I want to learn this one,” Hermione agreed. “But that’s not what’s bothering you, is it Harry?”

Harry smiled grimly, surprised by Hermione’s perceptiveness. “No. The truth is that it wasn’t so bad. I could do without the mad rush around Hogwarts, mind you. But it really was…peaceful.”

“Peaceful?” Ron said. “Looking down on your own body is peaceful?”

Harry tiredly rubbed his eyes with one hand. “I know it doesn’t make much sense. But while I was up there, nothing was wrong. My scar didn’t hurt. Voldemort couldn’t touch me. I didn’t have to ever go back to the Dursleys. I could simply just be me without all the strings.”

“Wait a minute,” Hermione interrupted. “Are you saying you preferred it?”

“No,” Harry denied. “I’m saying that at the time, without my physical aches and pains, simply being was enough. Do you remember the story Professor Wright told us at class, about that witch who just never came back?” He waited until both his friends had nodded. “At the time, I assumed it was because she couldn’t find her way back. If I hadn’t heard you all calling to me, I might not have found my way back. But later, it occurred that she might not have wanted to come back. That so much time had passed already that she had forgotten what it meant to have a body.”

Hermione was still regarding him with a narrow eyed stare. “That’s horrible. People are dead or they are alive. This in-between limbo just isn’t natural.”

“She’s got a point,” Ron said. “You said you heard someone calling you. Was it someone you knew?”

“She sounded familiar. But then, you’re just so detached from everyone and everything, it could mean nothing.”

“She?” Hermione said. “You heard a woman’s voice?” She tutted again as Ron and Harry exchanged a look. “Harry, is it possible that this voice and the ghost you keep seeing are from the same person.”

Harry’s jaw dropped open. Why hadn’t he considered that before? “That’s why she sounded so familiar. And why she knew my name!”

“Then she’s right not to believe she’s dead,” Hermione said. “You saw her body! You’ve found her!”

“Now hang on,” Ron said. “He saw a body, lying on a bed. He didn’t see her face. And for all we know, she could have been McGonagall, fast asleep.” Ron smirked at Harry. “You could be Hogwarts’ first astrally-projected Peeping Tom!”

Harry snorted at the very idea. Hermione again crossed her arms. “Ron! Professor McGonagall would not be lying in bed asleep in the middle of a school day!”

“Thank Merlin for that,” Harry said with a grin. “I don’t think I could face Transfigurations classes again if I ever caught a look at her in her nightgown.”

“You never know,” Ron replied. “You just might find all that tartan dead sexy.”

Even Hermione had a giggle at that. “Nevertheless, we have to find out who that woman was and where she is. It’s the only way to be sure.”

“I’m not volunteering for an out-of-body experience again!”

“Don’t be silly. If there really is a body, we just have to go looking for her. We can use your invisibility cloak.”

“Hermione! There must be a hundred floors to Hogwarts. How are we supposed to find which room and which floor?”

Hermione looked at Harry, “If we start at the Meditations classroom, do you think you can retrace your steps?”

“I sped through the place pretty fast,” Harry shrugged. “But it’s worth a try.”

“But not tonight,” Ron said. “We’ve got Quidditch practice tomorrow morning and I plan on getting some sleep. Fred and George have gone barking mad over strategies. I swear they’ve got to be worse than Oliver Wood.”