Severus Snape and the Last Year

Level 3.3: Persephone

For him, she was always Persephone. Others gave her nicknames, Sephi, Seph, Ms. P., Pea., my darling, little bird, love; less kindly hissy, priss, puffskein, and banshee...the latter ones provided by her loving brother and his friends. But for Severus, she was always Persephone. Perhaps in a playful mood, he would tack on Elizabeth. Persephone Elizabeth, but still, always, first, Persephone. He liked how the name rolled off his tongue, four separate movements like a miniature song. Per-seph-on-e.

The first time he had seen her had been at the Avon River Library in Amesbury. He was clutching A Study of the Dark Arts and exploring the shelves. The rows of thick volumes had filled him with a sense of wonder. He loved books. They were often his only comfort. He walked along the shelves slowly, reverently touching the spines in a silent greeting. For an eight year old, he had elegant fingers, long and white, but twitchy in their movements. Most of his wardrobe was black even then. His father believed in practical colors. His mother only required he dress neatly.

He moved silently, desperate to explore, but careful not to disturb anyone. He was making his halting way down a long row of leather and cloth bound covers with wide spines and titles like Jasper's Jinx Compendium and The Secrets of Merlin, when he heard a girl's laughter.

"Mummy, read this to me!" the child's voice demanded.

"All right," a woman's gentle voice demonstrated the proper library volume but made no rebuke. Severus spied at them through a gap created by a few missing volumes. There was a lower children's shelf with a selection of far more colorful, far skinnier books partially obscuring his view. But he could see the woman was beautiful, not just in features but in manners which were soft and gentle. Her robes were modest, blue, simple, elegant. She sat close beside her daughter who must have been a year or two younger than Severus himself and put an arm around her.

It was the daughter who caught Severus's curiosity and caused him to stare. Her face was young and round with baby fat, but her hair was silver as an old woman's. Otherwise, she was a normal little girl in child's robes and a knee length play frock, but the hair and something about the eyes gave her a fey look. She wiggled on the bench to settle beside her mother. The silver hair caught the light and created a wild halo effect. This was intensified a moment later when she opened her book and a flurry of silvery illustrated butterflies, only outlines of light, flew off the page and encircled her. The girl squealed and laughed in delight. Her mother smiled and stroked her hair, calming her to a silent but remarkably bright smile. Severus had never seen anyone so unabashedly happy. The mother tried to draw the fey girl's attention to the book page and the words floating an inch or so above them. As she looked down, Severus thought she may have spotted him. Her bright smile took on a curious twist.

Before he could ponder his response, a stick of wood thrust dangerously close to his face and a sharp "Hah!" forced him to turn in its direction. Mistaking the stick for a wand, his mind full of curses and butterflies, he stumbled back and lost his footing. He landed on his rump, only barely holding onto his precious book.

"I caught you!" A boy near his own age was gazing down at him with a look of arrogant triumph on his otherwise handsome features. He was roughly Severus's height but his confidence and the fact Severus was forced to look up at him made him seem taller. The boy's hair was black, short, and unruly, though a lighter shade than Severus's own limp, black hair. He was wearing a neat set of burgundy robes which were left open to show his yellow-gold shirt and slightly ruffled but recently pressed slacks. He pointed the stick down at Severus as though it was a wand as his eyes wandered over the title of Severus's book. "I knew you were a dark wizard. I'm going to be Auror! I catch dark wizards and send them to Azkaban."

Severus was smarting from the fall and the embarrassment of having been startled by a toy, though he did not put it past the belligerent boy to hit him with it. He was stunned by the audacity of the speech, but before he could open his mouth to explain his book, a woman's soft, firm voice called, "James! What are you doing?"

"I caught a spy!" James boasted with the same pride one might have felt for catching a real criminal.

The mother was unimpressed. Severus could no longer see her, but he could hear her exasperated expression. "Leave him Alone, and get back here!"

James grimaced, tucked his stick away in the robe's wand pocket, and dutifully marched back to his mother. But not without giving his victim a last, dirty look. Severus struggled to his feet and limped off as quickly as he could. He kept far from the children's section and went in search for a few more treasures in the scroll archives where the worst he endured were the glares of old, dusty wizards.

****************

The first time he spoke to her was years later in a different library.

They both had been inducted into Lucius's crowd shortly after sorting. Third year Lucius Malfoy had leaned over to say a kind word to him after the hat put him in Slytherin. Severus had taken this as permission to try to engage Lucius in conversation in the common room that night. He was less intimidated by him than the prefects and wanted to know what to expect in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lucius had been impressed by the depth of his questions and breadth of his knowledge about curses. Later he was delighted to find Severus had a double talent for potions.

"My mother would have me help her," shy Severus explained modestly. "She makes potions for St. Mungo's."

His mother was not pretty. She was a thin, hard face woman who demanded precision and tolerated no playing from her assistant. But she was very intelligent, usually reasonable, and always answered questions. Severus appreciated this about her.

Lucius was already a rising star in Slytherin. Half his friends were older students, many of old and influential families. Not all of them Slytherins. Lucius also had an affinity for Ravenclaws and would accept any Gryffindor or Hufflepuff who worked hard enough, bowed low enough, and had the right connections. He would trot out Severus for the older students as though he were a curiosity, the first year who knows more about curses coming in than most full grown wizards. He kept the potions side to himself, a secret weapon to enhance his own homework. "You should always hold something back," he advised his young prodigy. "Never let anyone figure you out entirely."

Severus had been delighted and surprised to be included in anything. His father had made a regular habit of calling him worthless and insisting that no one would want him. James Potter, now bespectacled, outed him to the entire first year class as a Dark Wizard, and unfortunately Lucius's well-intentioned attempts to show him off, secured this image in the mind of many students. In some circles this image helped rather than hurt his meager popularity. Many of his fellows were impressed that he was allowed to speak in the presence of Bellatrix Black, who was a fifth year and threatened to curse any underclassman who dared to bother her.

Unfortunately Bella and the boys she held court over were only interested in his knowledge of curses. She ridiculed his Auror aspirations. Rodolphus more kindly insisted he would out grow them. Lucius thought it was a waste of his talents. Severus attempted to repair James Potter's warped opinion of him with this explanation only to be laughed at by Potter's gang and ridiculed further. "Auror's office doesn't take dark wizards." Which had been cuttingly close to his father's comments on the subject.

Oh, how his father had yelled when he discover A Study of the Dark Arts and A Compendium of Curses on his son's bedside table. Towering with rage while his mother cried.

Only Narcissa, who even at twelve was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, gave him any encouragement. "I hope you do become an Auror," she said quietly when the others were out of earshot. "Then you can arrest my entire family."

He had been hopelessly devoted to her after that. The two of them clung close to Lucius for protection since Bellatrix insisted they be included on the edge of her circle. Narcissa was too pretty for her own good, already queen in her own year, and Bellatrix liked to keep her close as decoration.

Severus might have faded into obscurity, but James Potter had ambushed him in the hallway with his friend Black and insisted on a duel. They were only two weeks into classes, and Severus was anxious for Potter to forget about him. But the boys had been merciless. He tried to walk away, but they blocked his escape. He tried reminding them of school rules, but they only called him a coward. He tried insulting their intelligence, but this only strengthened their resolve to fight. He had been showing up a lot of people in class. "Come on, know-it-all. Defend yourself, or I'll knock you on your arse again!"

The argument had begun to draw a crowd. Severus's deep desire for accuracy made him want to point out that James had never knocked him down. But the eyes of the crowd made him mute, and the wand James pointed at him this time was real. He could not understand why no one would help him. Surely the unfairness was evident, two on one and Black so much taller. He tried backing away. Potter had pointed his wand and yelled "Stupify!", which did not work in the slightest, but in his attempt to dodge the unsuccessful spell, Severus had tripped over his own feet and fallen on his arse anyway. Black roared with laughter, a loud, fetching laugh that gained snickers from a few others. His white face flush with anger and embarrassment, Severus wrestled his wand out of his tangled robes and fired off the first two curses that came to mind.

Potter and Black had to be taken to the hospital wing, and Severus had gotten a week's worth of detention. The Slytherins thought it was brilliant. Bellatrix had given him the title of Curse Master, which had been a dubious honor for someone hoping to apply to the Aurors office. His father had sent him a howler, which loudly pronounced how he had known his son's unhealthy obsessions would lead to trouble. Lucius said howlers were tasteless. He would never inflict one on his son (and he never did, Lucius was consistent).

Severus had no friends in his own year. Many of the other students, even ones he would have liked to befriend, were afraid of him or being seen with him.

Lucius and Narcissa were far too popular to spend much social time on him. However, they allowed him to do homework with them since he was usefully swotty and not distracting. Lucius was quite boisterous during social occasions, but for "work" he demanded focus.

The incident in the halls had at least caused Potter and his friends to back off a bit. They still teased him, but no one attacked him. Severus made it through the rest of the year in relative obscurity, doing his best to fade into Lucius's shadow.

He had seen her for a second time the next year at the sorting ceremony, learned her name as Slughorn called her up to be sorted. Persephone Potter. Persephone. Silver Child. Potter le Fay. Daughter of Henry and Demetria. Unfortunate sister to a Gryffindor prat. James and his friends had snickered through her song spell. Severus watched his face fall and hers light up as the hat sorted her into Slytherin. Slytherin House had taken up the chorus, taking particular pleasure in the last line. A girl that's well befriended.

As the cheer went up, Lucius had actually given a quick one armed embrace to the blushing girl with the silver mop. Lucius liked to collect interesting people, and she was interesting.

****************

"Severus, what do you think of these club ideas?" At sixteen going on thirty-six or thirty-six trying to act sixteen, she had not only embraced her natural popularity but was learning to wield it like a weapon.

He watched this with a fond mix of amusement and concern. Read her proposals. A Study Group, a Dueling Club, a Forum. "Looks like you're preparing the students for war."

She shrugged. Wide shoulders disturbing the silver strands that rested against her black robe. "We're at war. Shouldn't we prepare them?"

He nodded and returned her parchments.

"Would you supervise the Dueling Club? You said you wanted to teach a Defense class. I thought this might be close."

He smiled at her. His sneaky little angel. "I'd be delighted."

"Good," she tucked her parchments away in her book bag and slipped her hand into his.

****************

Hoping for a year of peace, that James might think more kindly of Slytherin since he had a relative there, twelve-year-old Severus tried to extend an olive branch. "So Persephone is your sister?"

James Potter glared back. "Stay away from my sister!"

That second year Severus had done his best to stay away from everybody. His friends seemed to have become unapproachable. Lucius had grown taller, more handsome, and made Chaser. Narcissa's developing figure had shot her up to a level of popularity that intimidated even her sister Bellatrix. His body by contrast had only grown more gangly and awkward.

Persephone was the house mascot. She stuck mostly to her first year friends, though some of the upperclassmen liked to ruffle her mop of silver hair for good luck. She had appealed to Lucius to end this practice. Lucius went to war for his girls that year.

Bellatrix Black was a handsome girl but loud, dark, and domineering. Narcissa was twice as pretty, blonde, graceful, and demure. Bella controlled her boys with a brutal mix of sex and dark magic, or at least the promise of them, Slytherin House spent years trying to shake the reputation she left behind. Narcissa would have nothing to do with either. Narcissa could get her way for the promise of a smile.

Bellatrix's growing jealousy of her beloved sister morphed into bullying, mostly verbal, but it crossed a line that Lucius was not willing to tolerate. He was careful not to make an enemy of Bellatrix, but he laid the ground work to replace her court with one of his own. Severus thought it was a little like watching the sun and the moon do battle. No one dared get in the way, no spells were fired; Lucius seemed to fight her down by shining more brightly.

Narcissa became glued to his side like a rightful queen. They never used the words dating or such quaint terms as boyfriend or girlfriend, that was for lesser mortals. They reserved public affection to held hands and properly observed courtesies. Bellatrix was older and more deeply entrenched. If she had any desire for Lucius herself, she refused to show it (chasing a boy two years younger was beneath her), but she respected his desirability. Lucius's perfect manners allowed him to handle her and come out of any debate sounding like the better man.

Where Bella bullied and punished, Lucius praised and rewarded. With Narcissa's help, he won over the younger Slytherins easily. The older ones took more time. Still he was becoming legend. He was Lucius.

Severus felt out of place in this battle of social giants. He retreated more deeply into his books, where he felt safe. Lucius occasionally pulled him out of his exile in the shadows to answer a homework question or demonstrate that the Curse Master was in his court. He kept Persephone far from Bellatrix, which was fairly easy, since Bellatrix had as much interest in first years as a dragon does puffskeins.

Persephone herself seemed to breeze through the common room without the slightest idea there was a war in progress. She was friendly to everyone, and everyone to her. Narcissa would occasionally condescend to play with her hair, mainly to demonstrate that the Silver Child was in her good graces. Lucius encouraged her to do homework with them. He found her genuinely charming.

She might have had an easy school career if her brother had not chosen to view her placement in Slytherin House as an act of treason. After a few unpleasant lunch incidents, Lucius made it clear that James was not allowed near the Slytherin table. Persephone had stuck out her tongue at her brother in a childish way which made Lucius laugh, James scowl, and Severus smile a little.

****************

Severus wrote his own proposal detailing how he would run the Dueling Club for Persephone to hand in alongside her own. Sinistra waved it at him in the staff room. "This is probably going to get me in trouble with Dumbledore, but I don't care. I think I'm living vicariously through you right now."

He gave her a wary look. "How so?"

Sinistra chuckled and placed a conspiratorial finger to her darkly painted lips. "Besides, it's a good idea. The kids could use a little extra defense training. However...you might vary your routine a little bit. People are starting to talk."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "About?"

Sinistra took the chair beside him and gave him an assessing sideways glance. "Severus, I remember how close you two were, so I honestly don't care what you're doing in that office. But I think the governors may be less understanding."

His first impulse was to tell her to mind her own business, but since he might have been spared some pains if he had listened to her about Draco, he had to admit there was sense to it. "We're not doing anything inappropriate," he explained.

"Pity," Sinistra quipped. She gave him a doubtful pout, then schooled her features into a business expression. "I believe you, but only because I know how unbearably dull you are. Unfortunately perception counts for more than hard evidence in these cases. So you might want to be a little more Slytherin about your time with Ms. P."

Sinistra's warning proved almost unnecessary. Persephone's new clubs ate into her afternoons, and Draco's demand that she devote a minimum of two hours each day to her studies was one Severus had to support. The Dueling Club filled some of Severus's time, his lessons demanded longer essays and more complex potions which meant he spent more time on grading. Some days she could only give him a smile in the hallway, but she usually managed at least that.

****************

Most of his interactions with her that second year had been smiles in the hall. She smiled at everyone, so he had no reason to think she had taken any real notice of him. Lucius had introduced them, but it had been during a string of other names. Stringy, shy Severus had merely nodded. He was experimenting with being effectively mute, only answering when necessary. It was a much quieter existence, and he rather liked it.

Lucius was the only one to express any concern over his reserve. Severus shrugged it off, though he was glad not to be entirely forgotten. He did take Lucius up on his offer to come to the Malfoy Manor whenever life at his own home got too dreary, which meant he spent most of his summer there.

Half of Slytherin House seemed to have received a similar invitation. Some days were quiet, but Lucius's father was away on business so a long string of planned and impromptu parties enlivened the summer months. Early in the holiday, a Quidditch centric event drew a large crowd to the Malfoys' expansive backyard. Severus made an appearance but soon retreated to the Malfoys' library. His first experience on a broom had been rather embarrassing, and he was worried they might ask him to play.

He could have lived in the Malfoys' library. He had never realized how poor his family was until he stepped inside the white walled Manor. Anyone would be impressed by the grandeur, but it was more telling to Severus how everything was clean, bright, and in good repair. Severus's father had a respectable but low level job at the Ministry removing curses from confiscated items. Maintaining a family in Lancaster in their narrow two story had stretched his modest income. His wife made potions at home, because he did not like people knowing she had to work to make ends meet. They had both endured an exceptionally poor childhood in Derby, and while they never wanted for necessities, money was a constant source of tension.

What Severus really loved about the library, other than it's double story of books, tall windows, multiple seating areas, and three marble and gild fireplaces, was the sense of peace he felt in it. When the rest of house got too loud, the library was always quiet. He was sitting there, thirteen and gaunt thin, quietly reading on the red sofa, facing a fireless fireplace (it was June) when the Silver Child had entered his sanctuary and flung herself on the far end of the couch with a dramatic sigh.

"Too hot," she announced. She slung an arm over the back, pulled her knees up on the cushion and curled to face him. "You're Severus, right?"

Severus nodded.

"I'm Persephone."

He nodded again.

She tipped her head back to admire the library. "This is very nice. There's too many people outside. I needed a little quiet. What are you reading?"

Severus thought she talked a lot for someone seeking quiet. "It's a book on vanishing theory," he said. "The nature of matter and where things go when they're no longer." He had had a few conversations like this before and found the more academic he made the book sound, the faster the questioner would end the conversation. Often with a comment like You really read that stuff? or Is that for a class? or...

"That sounds interesting." Which was usually followed by the other student finding elsewhere to be, but Persephone merely laid her head on her arm and studied him.

Her gaze made him a little uncomfortable, but it seemed rude to ignore her. "It is actually. According to the author most of the universe is made up of empty space, essentially nothing. When things vanish, their material flows into the nothing, so there's no substantial disturbance to--"

"Are you a dark wizard?"

Severus felt more disappointed than irritated. Lucius never made it through his book summaries either, only a few of the teachers did, and this girl was much younger. "No."

"I didn't think so," she said. "James is a terrible a liar. He said you were half-vampire and knew more curses than all the seventh years combine."

Severus was a little surprised James Potter, or anyone for that matter, talked about him at all, much less made up such silly stories. "I'm not a vampire. I only know a lot about curses, because I'm studying to be an Auror."

"Oh, that makes sense," she said, giving him a smile. "I bet you'll make a good Auror. You're really smart." Severus was not sure if she was complimenting him or merely stating a fact. "It's too bad you're not a vampire. I'd really like to meet one." He blinked at her. "Tell me more about the nothing."

He had assumed she was not listening, so this return to the first subject surprised him. "It's a bit like everything, including us, is built of a frame work, rather than something truly solid. Even solids aren't genuinely solid."

She sat there, fluffy head resting on her arm, and listened with rapt attention as he talked about nothing.

****************

Over twenty years later, between clubs and classes, they were still talking to each other about nothing, which was to say everything₁. "Who is the younger teacher at the high table? The one with the dark hair. She's never at breakfast."

"That's Sinistra," answered Severus, involved in the barely appropriate activity of holding his, according to magical measures, sixteen-year-old student's hand. The witch in question would approve. "The astronomy teacher. I thought you might recognize her. She was a fifth year when you started."

"Slytherin?" Severus nodded, and Persephone frowned. "She's pretty."

"The boys seem to think so," Severus said, not sure what else to say.

"Do you think she's pretty?"

Severus gave his silver girl a curious look. "I suppose she's a handsome woman. Why?"

"I guess I'm wondering why she's not married," Persephone said, though it was clear enough she had more behind the question. As Dumbledore had said, she was a terrible actor.

"Divorced, I believe," Severus said with a shrug. "Married briefly to a Muggle if I remember. I try not to pry into my colleagues personal lives."

Persephone studied his fingers. "She smiles at you a lot. Laurel said you were..."

It took a few second for him to sort out what she meant. He was torn between annoyance and amusement. "Ms. Hedgebottom would do better to worry about her own romantic peril and leave her teachers to fend for themselves." He gave her hand a light squeeze. "I told you there was no one."

Chagrin played on her features. "I guess I was wondering about that. Anastasia said Trelawney--"

Severus winced. "Was there anyone your friends didn't try to mate me with?"

Persephone blushed. Severus liked the pink hue on her pale cheeks, though the conversation still annoyed him. "I suppose it's a bit like me and Henrietta speculating about Flitwick and McGonagall," she chuckled.

"I can put that to rest at least. Professor Flitwick is a widower, still in love with his dead wife. Professor McGonagall has the propriety to keep her romantic history to herself."

"She's in love with Professor Dumbledore," Persephone said. It was not a question, but one of her insights.

"In a platonic sense, I think you're right," Severus admitted. "I'd appreciate you not spreading that theory around. Students seem to simplify relationships to their basest common factor."

"I'm not a gossip," Persephone insisted. "I just wanted to see if the gossip was true."

"Then ask me."

She shifted uncomfortably. "I'd understand," she said instead. "I mean you don't have to tell me, but we used to tell each other everything..."

That was an exaggeration. Severus bit back a sigh. His celibacy had not been a deliberate choice but a series of choices and lack of opportunities. He had left school determined to find his missing friend and allowed no distractions. Lucius had brought him to Lord Voldemort who had promised him new means of searching. During his time with the Death Eaters, Bellatrix had offered to deflower him, but she had actually used the term "deflower" and in the presence of her husband, which did more to cement his loathing of her than provide any temptation. He had never been certain if she was serious or simply mocking him, but both possibilities disgusted him. Lucius had calmly diffused the situation, rebuking his sister-in-law and lightly implying that Severus might simply be too much of a gentleman to brag about his romantic conquests. They both knew he didn't have any, but Severus was grateful for the double defense of his honor.

After Voldemort's defeat, Dumbledore had whisked him through trials and off to Hogwarts. He had been in the constant company of females who fell either into the category of student or colleague, both of which were off limits. During breaks, Lucius and Narcissa had made a few attempts to introduce him to eligible witches but few caught his interest. When they did, he rarely caught theirs. Greasy hair and a monochromatic wardrobe were not the sort of things intelligent, attractive women dreamed of, and they all shared the handicap of not being her.

Now she was sitting here, asking him to tell her things he would just as soon forget.

"There was no one," he repeated for a third time. "You?"

Her blush became fiercer. "I was in a painting for twenty years," she protested, but she chuckled as she did.

****************

He could not hope to mark the moment he fell in love with her. It had happened gradually, somewhere around the one hundredth random hug, the one thousandth smile, or during the one millionth homework session. She was at the manor only about once a fortnight that summer, but she continued to visit Severus in the library. Sometimes reading over his shoulder. Sometimes dragging him out to participate in some amusement Lucius had concocted. She had an obvious crush on Lucius, but most of the younger girls did, so Severus thought little of it. Over the summer she gained the power to converse intelligently around the tall, blonde Malfoy without blushing.

This was helpful, because they were Severus's only real friends. Narcissa was not unkind to him, but he had no delusions that she considered him an equal. Also Narcissa had difficulty escaping her family during the summer holidays. They thought Mrs. Malfoy inadequate supervision for her son's string of visitors. She was only allowed to visit when Bella took a fancy to come as well. Severus never understood what made them think Bellatrix was a good chaperone, but no one asked him. When Narcissa was allowed to come, she looked unhappy. In July, they produced a third sister Andromeda, who favored Bellatrix in looks, but teased her hair into curls and seemed to blast through the Manor like a summer storm. She embodied everything Lucius hated about Hufflepuff and took great pleasure at mocking her host. Even going so far to imply Narcissa might be his half-sister, a gift to her mother from Malfoy senior. She had enough sense of self-preservation not to make this accusation in so many words, but she spent far too long drawing physical comparisons between the two, noting that neither of her own parents were fair, and asking Lucius about his father's business trips. Even Bellatrix was embarrassed, and Andromeda was banned from future visits to the Manor, which Severus suspected had been her goal.

He also suspected she was partially right about Narcissa's parentage, but he doubted Malfoy senior was involved. Narcissa favored Lucius's mother far more than his father, and the Malfoys were far from the only blondes in England. Severus however was wise enough to keep these thoughts to himself. He instead pointed out other sibling sets who lacked consistent coloring, and over a game of chess with a pensive Lucius, discussed the curious anomaly of squibs and Muggle-borns, comparing them to the albino and other surprising consequences of normal breeding. Lucius took some comfort in albinos.

The Black Family Civil War that marked Severus's third year was a messy three sided affair. As a seventh year, Bellatrix was on her way out but determined to leave a legend behind. Rodolphus was not around to keep her in check. Rabastan was nearly as bad as she was. Her boys bullied Muggle-borns, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, even teachers who caught Bella's displeasure. Everyone knew she was behind this frightening behavior, but no one could directly link her to it. Andromeda allied herself with Sirius. She retaliated by flaunting her relationship with Muggle-born Hufflepuff Ted Tonks, who was a pleasant, average looking fellow with an easy manner and not an ounce of ambition, and corrupting her cousin Sirius. Secretly, Severus thought Ted rather likeable, but he knew better than to say so. Narcissa was scandalized and embarrassed by both her sister's behavior. She fought back by demanding a high sense of propriety from the girls who followed her and the boys who courted her.

Lucius returned to school with the double honor of prefect and Quidditch Captain. His popularity and the demands on his time brought by O.W.L. year studies, meant they saw less of him. Narcissa kept their evening homework sessions in place. She allowed Persephone and Severus to continue to study with her, because Lucius liked his quirky little friends and they met her demands for focus and propriety. When Lucius decided to join them, he lovingly referred to them as his four year set, and Persephone and Severus in particular as his secret swots. When Lucius met with other girls in Hogsmeade, Narcissa swore she did not care, but Severus knew it was killing her. He felt he could do little more than lend his silent support and offer to read over her essays. Once or twice, he dared to give Lucius an annoyed glance, but he doubted anyone noticed. Persephone did her best to cheer Narcissa up. She distracted her with French lessons and eagerly submitted to the older girl's whims.

Unfortunately, Narcissa's form of battle by dignity was too subtle for Andromeda or Sirius Black to appreciate. They assumed Narcissa as a Slytherin was naturally on Bellatrix's side and shared her beliefs and fascination with the dark arts. Severus knew she did not give a damn about blood purity and hated dark magic, but they both feared Bella and loved Lucius, so they kept silent. Lucius had a religious faith in rank and blood purity. Bellatrix made it sound foul, but from Lucius it seemed enlightened. Despite his skepticism, the language of it crept into Severus's vocabulary and Narcissa stored it in her box of social tools. Persephone alone seemed immune. She stayed friends with Henrietta, showed everyone the same kindness, and gently reproved Lucius when he referred to Ted Tonks as a mudblood. This behavior would have caused anyone else to get struck from the Malfoy's social list, but in Persephone, Lucius wrote it off as adorable naiveté. They were all victims of nature. Narcissa too pretty to be taken seriously, Severus too gawky, and Persephone too cute.

****************

"Still no word," Dumbledore asked Severus. He was watching the Gryffindors practice Quidditch through his office window. "It's been a over month now."

"Almost two, if you count my little vacation," Severus supplied.

Dumbledore sighed. "The silence is too long." The look he gave Severus was almost apologetic. "I'll have to ask you--"

Severus waved off his concern. "I offered before."

"When will you go?"

"Hogsmeade weekend, I think."

"Very well." Dumbledore shuffled over to his desk and sank down in his high-backed chair with a sigh. "Unusually hot today." He hung his hat on Fawkes' perch.

Severus had not been enjoying the weather either. He preferred October to be brisk, but the Headmaster's fatigue seemed beyond simple discomfort. "Are you all right, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore smiled kindly at his concern. "There are benefits to being old, Severus, but I advise you stay young a little longer."

Severus's brow furrowed. "Are you in pain? I could make you something."

"No, no," the venerable wizard assured him. "Little aches. Poppy's given me a draught for them. Some sleep, and I'll be fine." Dumbledore took a drink from a gold goblet sitting on his desk. "Harry tells me Mr. Malfoy may have been dropping clues for us about Voldemort's location."

"Really?" Severus had already told the Headmaster about his own attempt to question his prefect. "Potter isn't sure?"

"I think you schooled your pupil a little too well." Albus Dumbledore gave him a sly look from under his bushy eyebrows. "Are you sure it was wise to teach him Occlumency?"

Severus winced. Dumbledore had figured him out. He sank into the chair opposite the desk. "In retrospect, yes. Frustrating, now, but he needed protection. Voldemort had his father."

"Ah, so I can assume you also schooled Gregory, Vincent, Theodore Nott, and Ms. Parkinson?" Severus winced again. Dumbledore also had the power to reduce him to student without a moment's notice. The Headmaster shook his head. "We all have our favorites, Severus, but showing favoritism is a risky business for a teacher."

"I thought Draco in greater danger...and he has a natural talent for such things. Besides, where he leads the others follow." He was justifying. They both knew it. He also knew he was right.

Dumbledore's lip twitched. "Well, he certainly has more to hide. Teaching has allowed me a fresh perspective on my students. I didn't believe Aurora at first, but I'm convinced now that he does indeed fancy Ms. Granger. I thought he and Harry might come to blows over it in class but--"

"Potter's girl?" Severus echoed skeptically, not sure how he could have missed something like that, though honestly he never had been good at keeping up with social gossip. He was not entirely sure Hermione Granger had ever been romantically involved with anyone, but she and Weasley seemed to belong to Potter's set.

Under his whiskers, Dumbledore's lip twisted. "Aurora has the most delightful story about how he managed to secure a seat by her and away from his friends in Astronomy."

"Troubling," Severus said. Not because of the pairing. He could care less who Draco's girl of the month might be. But he knew Lucius would take great exception to this particular girl. He could also think of several reasons why Draco might be courting Ms. Granger's good graces that were not the least bit amorous. But he doubted any of them would sit well with Lord Voldemort. "I'll need a story. I'll have to answer for him."

****************

At thirteen, Severus Snape was so horribly out of step with the other students in his year that he began to suspect he was different on some biological level. They all seemed to be caught up in their raging hormones while he was too busy contemplating the Arithmancy aspects of Potion making to try to fathom the change in his classmates. Girls he had thought were intelligent turned into giggling simpletons. The boys' conversations made him constantly uncomfortable.

Even so, it was the happiest Severus had ever been. He had a real friend now. He was grateful for Lucius's patronage and Narcissa's tolerance, but they were complicated people. Persephone was refreshingly simple. She sought his company without agenda. Found him and his books fascinating and would drag out his opinion if he did not volunteer it. There was no price for her kindness. She scolded anyone who spoke ill of him. He was sure this cost her some popularity, but she was indifferent to that.

After the first year, her novelty had worn off for most students. Her condition made her magic unreliable. Early in her school career an accident in Charms caused her to be restricted from trying any magic that involved human targets. To compensate she focused on the theory and came to share Severus's fascination with obscure and arcane forms of magic. She was not as quick to learn as he was, but at least when he made a joke she understood.

There was a price for this joy. Their friendship strained Persephone's already rocky relationship with her brother. James had made seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, which had the unfortunate side effect of making him cool. Severus was the exact opposite of cool, and it grated James to see his sister so openly friendly with him. James took this out on both of them. Black added fresh elements of cruelty to his childish insults. Since Black was handsome and James was cool, most of the girls in their year followed suit. Severus's legend as a dark wizard grew to include all sorts of midnight rituals and disturbing hygiene habits. Everything from his mild acne to awkward walk seemed to be a source of amusement.

He ignored them as best he could, found safety and solace with his few Slytherin friends, and got in the habit of talking to his teachers after class both from intellectual hunger and to stay out of the halls. The common room was safe; the Great Hall was safe; classrooms were safe as long as the teacher was there; the halls were the danger zone. Bellatrix's group was still willing to tolerate if not include him, so he found it useful to tag along with them when they were available.

This earned him extra glares from Andromeda and Sirius, but none of the Gryffindors wanted to get on Bella's list. He wished he could hang out with Lucius, but while Lucius did not mind him, his cloud of Quidditch players and pretty girls was far too cool to allow for admission or easy camouflage. Potter did make the mistake once of hassling him while Lucius was in the hall. Lucius had towered over him, humiliated James with a perfectly mannered speech, and somehow turned the whole thing into a matter of Quidditch, which allowed Severus not to be stuck in the middle of it.

Severus was not James' and Sirius's only target. They would bully their own friends if Lupin or Pettigrew were too dissenting, though they rarely were. Severus wished he was better at defending Persephone, but as siblings she and James could fling off taunts with frightening and brutal rapidity. If Severus moved to interfere, she would grab his arm and drag him away, preferring to rant about her brother privately than risk either boy getting hurt in a fight. Sirius scared her a little. Black would taunt him during these retreats. "You're lucky to have hissy to protect you." Safely out of earshot, Severus would agree with him.

Persephone was a shameless tattle tale. She reported the worst of James behavior in her letters home, ratted on him to teachers, and it was useful for her to give James little to report in return. They plotted retaliations, sometimes with Narcissa's help, but the plotting was enough. They rarely acted on any of them. It was more fun to speculate, to imagine reactions without real consequences.

Still the ridiculousness of it all grated on Severus, and he sometimes boiled over. One day in Transfiguration, James had started tugging on Lily Evans' braids whenever McGonagall's back was turned. Lily was one of the few unimpressed by Potter's bluster, and Severus respected her for it. The third time she hissed at James to "Cut it out!" there had been a glimmer of frustrated tears building. When James merely grinned and reached again for the red roped of hair, Severus sent a Stinging Hex at his hand. James had yelped. "Ten points from Slytherin." McGonagall's sharp eyes had caught the angle of his wand and James accusing stare. When James smirked, she added, "And five from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter."

Severus hated losing points, but Lily had smiled at him and mouthed "thank you". This made it seem worthwhile.

****************

Draco Malfoy at age twelve had the same sort of delicate features Severus would years later notice in Charles Bulstrode. He had slunk into Severus's office, started helping him put vials away as an excuse to linger. Severus had asked the boy how his first Quidditch practice had gone only to get a less than enthusiastic answer. "It was great." The boy had shrugged, delicate fingers twisting the vials so the labels all faced the same direction. Severus had always found his fastidiousness rather endearing. "Professor, where do mudbloods come from anyway?"

"Language," Severus reproved him. He wished he could say more, but Dumbledore was convinced that Lord Voldemort would return, which meant Severus had to keep playing a role.

"Fine," Draco sniffed. "Muggle-borns then. Why do they exist?"

"It's still a bit of mystery," Severus admitted. He did not believe in placating children with simple answers. "There are a few competing theories. Magic seems to pass through bloodlines, so it's likely most Muggle-borns have a wizarding ancestor in their genealogy. However that doesn't explain why it lays dormant for generations. Another theory is Mass Magical Equilibrium, which boils down to the powers needing to keep a certain number of wizards in existence at all times, so when wizarding lines die out, new ones come into being. There's Will Theory, which implies that Muggles can become wizards by wanting to badly enough, but that doesn't explain how we can detect magical births." Severus glanced at the boy, who still seemed to be listening and frowning in deep thought.

Draco finished turning the labels to suit him. He walked over to the chair facing Severus's desk, crossed his arms on the back of it, and propped his chin on his arms with a petulant expression. "I wish she didn't exist."

"Who are we wishing away?"

"That brat Granger," Draco said dropping his arms. "She said I had to buy my way onto the team."

"Nonsense," Severus reassured him. "I heard you did quite well at try outs. Marcus is happy to have you."

"They're happy to have new brooms," Draco sulked. Severus bit back a sigh. The boy liked to mimic his father's confidence, but he was too aware of his own shortcomings. The problem was not Miss Granger's parentage, but that she saw them too.

****************

He bought Persephone every practical item she would list for him. Hand delivered a package of delicates, so her enthusiastic friends would not open the box in the Great Hall. Books, bags, ink, quills, toiletries, a hair brush, a homework planner. "I feel bad that you're spending money on me," she said again.

"It's all right," he assured her. "I make a Head's salary, room and board are provided. I haven't bothered trying to maintain a second residence, so aside from a few vacations and necessities, the gold just collects dust in my vault."

She gave him a sly smile. "Are you trying to tell me you're rich?"

"Comfortable." He was not bragging precisely, but he did want her to know he could provide for her. She was not greedy, but she was practical.

"Maybe I should marry you for your money," she said playfully, skipping to their bench. She pulled her legs up on the seat, but realizing this left him no room, smiled awkwardly and moved to a more ladylike position.

He looked away, until she had time to arrange her robes. Propriety demanded he not linger over the flash of bare knees or glimmer of thigh. He joked to fill the pause. "I never fancied you a gold digger."

"I'd still have to wait a year, wouldn't I? At least 'til my birthday, maybe this summer. Dumbledore says I'm still technically underage." She rolled her eyes, apparently as annoyed by this inconvenience as he was. She summoned him with an outstretched hand. He surrendered his own and sat beside her. "Maybe I should take an Aging potion," she said and traced a circle on his palm with her middle finger.

Severus clenched his hand into a fist to stop her. His fragile resolve was too close to cracking. "I don't think that's wise," he managed. "They're too imprecise." She looked down, disappointed; silver lashes hiding her eyes.

A few drops might not hurt her, but he did not trust himself to give her unbiased advice on this subject. "Don't you think you ought to take your N.E.W.T.s before you take a husband?" he said, returning to the joke that he hoped was not entirely a joke.

She sighed and gave him a wane smile. "That would be more practical wouldn't it?"

He bit back his own sigh and nodded. "You may find you want a career of your own."

She whimpered for comic effect. "Mama didn't work."

"Your mother had health problems, but she was also a Ravenclaw. She kept herself useful." Severus had had few occasions to meet Persephone's mother, but their scattered interactions left him with a painful respect for her. The last time he had found her... "She volunteered at St. Mungo's during the war."

"Bother the war," Persephone groused. "I'd quit school today if it was safe. I'd go after Voldemort myself if I thought it would do any good. Would it?"

He winced as she spoke the name. "Persephone, please," he pleaded. "Don't say his name."

"Why?" she asked openly, curiously. Her lips were parted, and her eyes searched his. It would be so easy to close the distance, but the memory of her mother reminded him how he failed her. He pulled away, looked away, stiffened his back. "Draco said there's no spell on it."

Severus rubbed his burning left forearm with his right hand and focused his Occlumency. "There's no spell on the name, but on this...the name triggers something." He swallowed. "The pain is not unbearable, but it's sharp. The Dark Lord demands respect, particularly from his Death Eaters. He punishes those who fail to enforce it."

She let out a pained, exasperated breath. "Can't you get rid of it?"

Severus shook his head. "I haven't tried cutting my arm off, but shy of that...I have some hope it will fade when he dies. It was barely visible after his curse rebounded from your nephew. It came back when he did."

"Oh Severus, Je suis stupide! I told the students there was no reason not to say it!" She was working herself towards tears again. "I didn't know it hurt you. I can tell them to stop."

He shushed her. "I'd rather you didn't explain. Most of the students are ignorant that I bear the mark, and I would prefer to keep it that way. Besides I can bear a little pain for my sins."

She gave him a distressed look. "Don't talk like that! You're a good person. The best person. You only joined him to look for me. Laurel told me how many times you've saved Harry. Please stop punishing yourself!"

Severus grimaced. Guilt trickling across his skin. She had always thought too highly of him, too highly of everyone, but he felt this particular illusion was bordering on a lie. "I'm not a good person." He felt heavy and leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees. This allowed him not to look at her. "What happened to James and Lily...that was my fault."

He heard her take in a sharp breath. "Did you kill them?"

"No," Severus said, glad he had nothing like that to confess. "But I gave the Dark Lord information that would lead him to target them. I didn't realize how the information would be interpreted, but I should have realized it was dangerous. I-"

"You didn't kill them," Persephone said firmly. "Did you kill anyone?"

"Not directly," he said. He had thought this would be the worst part of the confession, but he felt calmer now. "I brewed potions, poisons. I did research. I spied... I think Lucius kept me from the worst of it, but what I did... I'm still responsible. I caused death as certainly as if I had fired a killing curse from my own wand."

The sentence hung in the air for a long moment before she asked, "Are you still with them?"

"No!" Severus said emphatically, though he kept his voice low. "Merlin, no. When I realized what was going to happen to Lily and James, I warned them. I went to Dumbledore, he was in charge of the resistance, the Order of the Phoenix. I confessed everything, and since then..." He realized these were the sort of secrets he might not ought to be spilling, but he did not care. It was one thing for her to see his worst, but he could not stand her thinking him worse than he was. "I've been his spy. He kept me at Hogwarts to keep me close, so I could protect Harry for you. When the Dark Lord came back, I had to-"

"Pretend?"

"Pretend," he confirmed. "But I have no loyalty to the Dark Lord."

"I wish you could tell Draco," she said. "He's too afraid to stand against him openly. But he might like the idea of being a spy if you coached him."

Severus shook his head. "Draco has more to lose than I did." He gave her a piteous look. This was the real reason any talk of marriage between them must remain a joke. He had something to lose now. "It's too dangerous."

****************

A few days after his intervention in Transfiguration, Lily Evans had found him sitting with a book in a remote stairwell. "Hey, Severus, you mind if I sit here."

He peaked out from behind his lank hair, shook his head, and she sat down. She was quiet at first. He toyed with trying to read again, but she took a deep breath, which warned him she had something to say. "Is it true what they say? About your father?" He blinked at her. He had no idea anyone said anything about his father. "Does he..." She dropped her voice. "...beat you?"

Severus was surprised by the question. He scowled while he considered it and shook his head. His father was not gentle with him, but the few light knocks he had received were hardly something he would categorize as beatings. Evans was looking at him with concern in her green eyes, so he explained more directly. "In a good mood, he'll call me Dunderhead, but he doesn't beat me."

This seemed to relieve some of her worry though she still looked bothered by it. "You're not a dunderhead. I think James only picks on you cause you're smarter than him." Severus twitched half a smile at her. "Does he teach you dark magic? Your dad?"

"He's a curse breaker. Doesn't really teach me anything."

Lily smiled. "So is anything they say about you true?"

Severus shrugged. He had no idea what people said about him. "I'm half-vampire."

"REALLY?!" Lily's eyes went wide, then narrowed as she realized he was teasing her. She laughed. "You're all right, Snape." She shook her head and started to stand up. "Don't let Potter get to you. He's almost as bad as Lucius Malfoy."

His half-smile died. "What's wrong with Lucius?" he asked defensively. He had snarled a bit, and Evans seemed taken aback by that.

"He's cruel," she said simply. "Everyone ignores it because he's good looking, but I see it." She shuddered, and all Severus could do was stare at her. "He gives me the creeps."

Severus did have to admit he thought Lucius was being cruel to Narcissa. Perhaps not intentionally, but in the middle of the war, he had left her undefended. Narcissa was the model of loyalty and grace under pressure. She quietly reminded Lucius of homework assignments, club meetings, prefect duties. She knew his schedule as well as her own, and as far as Severus could tell better than Lucius did. He had gotten a little full of himself, lost in his own popularity, unaware how Narcissa kept saving him from an absentmindedness born of distraction. He would thank her sometimes, politely, distractedly, or gallantly declare "whatever would I do without you", only to make plans with a dark eyed Ravenclaw.

Persephone encouraged her to arrange a Slytherin Girls outing for the last Hogsmeade weekend, a distraction from Ravenclaws and boys in general. Severus realized this would leave him free and not having anyone else to consult on the matter, offered for consideration his own bold plan. "I was--I was thinking about asking Lily Evans to meet me," he told them in a quietly, searchingly. He needed to know if there was any point in letting that interest take root. Pretty, popular Lily seemed as untouchable as Narcissa, except Lily had developed the habit of giving him a friendly smile, much to Potter's annoyance.

Narcissa shook her head in a frightened, warning way. "No, Severus."

Persephone on the other hand was taken with the idea. "Oh! You should, mon ami astucieux." She had fallen in love with French. "Ce serait romantique."₂ Severus was simultaneous heartened and disheartened by her encouragement.

Lucius had joined them then, slipping onto the leather couch beside a suddenly truculent Narcissa. "Quel est romantique?"

"Severus is going to ask out Lily Evans," Persephone announced as though this was a done deal. "She's the pretty redhead in his class from Gryffindor."

Severus felt himself flush. He had not meant to bring Lily to Lucius's attention. "I was only thinking about it," he muttered, under Lucius's disapproving gaze.

"You can do better, Severus," Lucius said darkly. "Don't forget you're pure-blood."

"James is pure-blood," said Persephone dismissively. "He's going to marry her. But she's way too good for him. Severus could rescue her. Like a prince."

Lucius lip curled with a sneer. "You're brother's a blood traitor, Sephi. He may fancy a mudblood, unless he grows up, but I won't see Severus wasted on one. Pretty faces fade. Blood stays strong." He was speaking in his authoritative voice. The one that made him sound wise beyond his years. Narcissa looked uncomfortable.

Severus decided to abandon his idea. Not because he agreed with Lucius, but because he could see how strongly he felt about this. There was no sense dragging Evans into the middle of the Black War. She would become an instant target. "She wouldn't go with me anyway," said Severus, trying to end the conversation before Persephone could start fussing. "Pretty girls don't want to be seen with social lepers."

Lucius shot him a look that was a mixture of pity and irritation. "Severus, you are an absolute Bundimun at times."

Narcissa steered the conversation back to homework. The next morning she tossed him a tube of bubotuber pus. "You may feel less like a leper if you get rid of the spots."

It smelled awful and did little for the general oiliness of his complexion, but it did help clear up his acne.

****************

Twenty years later he still felt a lingering devotion to Narcissa. He regretted that he could not share the news of Persephone's return with her or reassure her about her son. Draco's attempt to run away and subsequent behavior must have had her going spare. However her position was nearly as precarious as his own, and correspondence between them would surely be read by others. He wrote instead to Persephone.

Infatuation found fate in the most mundane details. They both preferred prose over poetry. Severus did not like animals, and animals did not like her. Neither of them had been given middle names. Severus, like his parents, had never really seen the point in middle names, but they made a game out of initials and giving names to each other. After a long debate, she had settled on the name Oliver, and he called her Elizabeth. An orphan boy and a queen.

She had taken to identifying her mysterious package sender as Oliver to her friends, so he signed that name to further hide his initials. When he ran out of practical packages to send, letters seemed a logical step. He told himself at first it was to support this illusion about Canada. Her friends had expressed a curiosity about him. He researched Shenk Saundustee Academy, learned its details to better support the facade, but he needed something to give a sense of reality to this invented classmate. Somehow it seemed natural to borrow from his own seventh year. He hid their friends under code names, provided more of the minutia she craved, and told her all the things he had wanted so badly to tell her back then.

Dear Persephone,

The weather lingers warm, but I feel cold. I miss you. I feel like you took part of me with you, and I won't be whole until I see you again. I wonder if you even think about me. Ruth has stopped asking about you. She did at first, but there was nothing I could tell her. I think John blames me for your leaving. He's said as much on more than one occasion. I wish you could see the change that's come over him. He's become so serious.

Zaccharias has been sitting with me at lunch. He still brings his toad to the table. He's taught it to dance. At least that's what he calls it. It's sort of a shuffle, hop, shuffle. Is there anything more tedious than a toad? Shuffle, hop, shuffle, hop, croak. You would have loved it.

My mother offered to buy me a cat. I suppose she forgot my allergies. Or maybe she remembered them. She has a unique sense of humor.

We're experimenting in Potions this year. Last year, I think I would have really looked forward to it. Now, I am restless. I'll try to focus. Mary is restless too. She played a trick on old Professor Solomon. He was boring us all with a story about someone he knows from the International Association of Quidditch, at least Mary and I were bored by it. She started rolling sneezewort into tiny pellets and flicking them up towards the ceiling. It was just enough to tickle the nose of a few victims. A sniffle, a snuff. Flick, flick, flick. She scattered the angle, so it affected different students in different parts of the room, but it had a cumulative effect. Flick, flick, flick, sniffle, sneeze, achoo, achoo. The room was soon filled with so many sniffles and blows that Solomon had to stop. Mary had spared me, but I faked a sneeze to avoid suspicion. She did the same. She got away with it of course. Solomon never suspects her of anything.

My father keeps asking what I plan to do with myself. I really don't know. I used to know. Maybe that's the part of me you took. The part that knows what to do. Are you reading anything now? I'm reading Hard Times. You said you liked it. I'm not sure I will. I'm stuck in school all day, and for recreation you have me reading a book about people stuck in school all day.

They give us loads of homework. I have to read that as well, so it slows my progress on the novel. I have no one to do homework with now. I get everything done more quickly, but I think I remember less of it. Maybe because I'm not checking over everyone's papers. If you come back I'll never complain about reading over yours again. Hell, I'll do your homework for you. I'm not above a bribe at this point. I hope you're well and happy. I imagine you are. I have to.

I miss you. Maybe I should get that cat. A hairless one.

Love,

Oliver

When he finished, the whole thing seemed silly to him, but it did to support the illusion of another life. He reread it to make sure nothing in the text would give him away as the writer or participant. He almost wadded it up for being too ridiculous and sentimental but decided that would mean having to draft a fresh letter. This would have to do.