The Last Time

Chapter 16

At lunch on Monday, Hermione received a letter by owl post. She took the letter and frowned at the unfamiliar, formal script on the thick white parchment envelope.

Miss Hermione Granger

Gryffindor Table

The Great Hall

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

"Who's it from?" asked Ron, peeking over her left shoulder.

"I don't know," said Hermione.

"Well, go on then, open it!" said Ron impatiently.

Hermione broke the round blue seal on the envelope and pulled out the letter.

Ministry of Magic

Department of Magical Law Enforcement

~ London ~

15 November

Dear Miss Granger,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to participate in preliminary Trials for admittance to the College of Aurors. You were chosen for this process due to your high marks and recommendations from your professors. This is an honour extended to only a few members of the seventh year class. It places you under no obligation to participate, but it is strongly recommended that you do so.

Preliminary Trials will be held at Hogwarts over the Christmas holiday. If you wish to participate, please return the enclosed form to the Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement by 30 November. Admittance to the College of Aurors will be based on the results of these Trials in addition to your results on the N.E.W.T.s. and other interviews that will be conducted at a later date.

We await your owl no later than 30 November.

Sincerely,

William Hebblethwaite

Chair, Selection Committee, College of Aurors

"Oh, my God," said Hermione, dropping the letter on the table.

"Damn!" said Ron, sounding awed. "An invitation from the Aurors!" He looked across Hermione to Harry. "Look at that, Harry -"

He stopped in midsentence at the sight of the sheet of white parchment in Harry's hand. "You got one too."

"Yeah." Harry stuffed his letter into his pocket.

"Figures you'd get one too. Figures I wouldn't," Ron said.

"You couldn't do it even if you wanted to," said Hermione, trying to head off the situation she could see unfolding before her. "You're going off to practice with the Tornados over the holiday, remember?"

"Right. I'll go play Quidditch while the two of you are off saving the world," he said, stabbing a slice of ham viciously with his fork.

"Ron, don't be that way," said Hermione.

"You don't have to handle me, Hermione, I'm a big boy," said Ron.

"Who said I wanted to do this, anyway?" she said. "Remember what we talked about before?"

"Yeah, but that was before you got your letter," he said.

Harry shifted nervously in the seat beside her, obviously uneasy about listening to them argue.

"Can we please not fight about this?" said Hermione quietly, laying a hand on Ron's leg. "Please?"

"Okay," Ron said resignedly. "Sorry."

*****

Professor McGonagall held Hermione and Harry back after Transfiguration the next afternoon. Ron looked a little hurt, but said he'd meet them back in the common room when they were done.

"I assume you've received your letters?" she asked.

"Yes," said Hermione. Harry nodded.

"Excellent. I assume you'll both be participating?"

They both looked at each other and back to McGonagall.

"Well, er, I'm not sure," said Hermione.

"Me either," said Harry.

This shocked Hermione. "What?" She'd assumed he'd jump at the chance.

"I don't know," he said.

Professor McGonagall fixed them with one her trademark I-can't-believe-I'm-hearing-this-nonsense looks. "Ridiculous! Two of the best students I've had the privilege of teaching in all my years here, who I personally recommended to the Auror Selection Committee, and they don't know if they're going to participate. Hmph."

"Professor - " began Hermione.

McGonagall interrupted her with a wave of her hand. "If I had thought you weren't cut out for it, I wouldn't have recommended you. You really should participate - even if you decide later that being an Auror is not for you, it will still be a wonderful learning experience. An excellent chance to sharpen your skills."

"What are these 'Trials' all about, Professor McGonagall?" asked Harry warily.

"Basically, it will be a practical test of what you have learned so far - mainly in the areas of Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts," she said. "The first round is a duel with an accomplished Auror. If you pass the first Trial, then there are others later, but they are much more complex and vary from year to year."

"But we only have a few weeks to prepare!" said Hermione indignantly.

"That's the way it works, Miss Granger," said McGonagall. "And neither I nor any other faculty member are allowed to assist you in your preparations, outside of your normal classwork, of course."

"Who - who else was chosen?" asked Hermione.

"You are the only two from Gryffindor," said McGonagall. "As for the other houses - well, I don't know. Each Head of House nominates their own, if they feel they have candidates worthy of the honour." She made it sound as if she highly doubted some houses had students worthy of nomination.

Harry asked the question that Hermione had been wondering, but didn't have the nerve to ask. "What about Ron? Why wasn't he chosen?"

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips into a tight line. "It would normally be most inappropriate for me to discuss another student with you," she said disapprovingly. "However - I did nominate Mr. Weasley for the Trials."

"Then why didn't he get a letter as well?" Hermione asked. "He was so disappointed when he saw ours."

McGonagall nodded. "I'm sure he was, Miss Granger. But that was not my doing. His nomination was blocked."

"Blocked! By who?" said Harry.

"I do not know, Mr. Potter. Only someone in the Ministry can block a nomination like this. It doesn't happen often. That's one of the reasons I held the two you back - I wanted to ask your opinions on something."

McGonagall? Ask our opinions? Since when did the teachers around here, especially her, care about our opinions on something?

McGonagall smiled at the looks of disbelief on their faces. "Yes, you heard me right. Even I from time to time require the assistance of others in making decisions, and as you are more of an expert on Mr. Weasley than I am, I thought I would seek your opinion."

"On what?" Hermione managed to ask, still dumbfounded.

"You said Mr. Weasley was disappointed that he did not receive a letter from the Auror Selection Committee. Given his history of - temper - do you think it would be wise to tell him that he was, in fact nominated but blocked? Or would it be better for him not to know that? I ask this because I've had enough experience with the Weasleys to know that a Weasley with injured pride - "

She didn't finish the thought, but Hermione got the point, as apparently did Harry. And Hermione was beginning to have a new respect for Professor McGonagall. Underneath her very stern exterior, she apparently cared a great deal for the students in her House.

"You decide, Hermione," said Harry quickly.

Thanks a lot, Harry, you...she quickly suppressed the uncharitable thought. "I think it would be better if he knew he was at least nominated," she said finally. "But you should tell him, Professor. I think it will mean more to him if you tell him."

"Very well, Miss Granger. Thank you for your help. Oh, and two more things." She scribbled two short notes and handed them to Harry. "A pass to use my classroom after hours - in case you need to do any preparing for the upcoming Trials, and a note to the Restricted Section of the library. It's about the only help I can give you, I'm afraid. I trust you won't destroy anything without me here to keep watch on you?"

Hermione could swear that McGonagall was teasing them!

"Of course not. Thank you, Professor," said Harry, pocketing the notes.

*****

Ron's mood was quite sour for the next couple of days. Hermione and Harry carefully avoided any mention of the Auror Trials around him, although it was hard to do. If they happened to slip up, Ron would very suddenly change the subject to something else entirely, or else sit gloomily until neither of them could stand it anymore.

Hermione was getting tired of this, but tried not to let it show. She understood that Ron was upset at not being thought good enough to be an Auror, but he was handling it very badly. Couldn't he be happy for her, at least? She was plenty happy for him when he got invited to practice with the Tornados.

Hermione made up her mind to go ahead and participate in the Auror Trials, as did Harry, and later that week Hedwig left for London with both of their responses tied to her leg. Hermione hoped she wasn't getting herself in over her head, but she reminded herself that Professor McGonagall had nominated her, and McGonagall wasn't the kind of person who gave people chances who didn't deserve them.

Professor McGonagall pulled Ron aside after their next Transfiguration class to tell him about his nomination. It didn't have exactly the effect that Hermione had hoped. Instead of making him feel better that McGonagall thought enough of him to nominate him in the first place, it made him even madder that some unknown Ministry person had blocked his nomination. Hermione wished she'd never gotten her Auror letter.

Lupin finally made his way back to Hogwarts as he'd told Hermione he would, and found Harry in a somewhat better state of mind than when Hermione had owled him. He wasn't skipping meals, he'd stopped wandering off by himself so much, and he was concentrating better in class. Since Harry seemed to be doing better, Lupin didn't stay long, as he was on some business for the Order, and had to return to it as soon as possible. He was very excited about their Auror letters though, and the night before he left, he went to McGonagall's empty classroom with them to help them with their first practice.

"But we aren't supposed to be getting any help, Remus," said Harry.

"You're not supposed to get any help from a faculty member," said Lupin with a wink. "Last time I checked, I wasn't on staff here anymore."

Lupin made up a long list of spells, both offensive and defensive, that he thought might be useful in the Trials, then put them through their paces on charms and hexes they already knew. They spent a good hour and a half casting Shielding Charms and trying to break them with various hexes. Hermione managed to get a good Tickling Charm through to Harry, and in return he managed to hit her with a Deafness Hex. Lupin was able to Stun them both twice.

He had also brought a boggart with him, ("Found it in the alcove near the Potions dungeon - who would have thought?") which of course transformed into a dementor for Harry. Harry was very good at producing his Patronus now, and could do it almost instantly - and to Hermione's eyes, effortlessly, although she knew better.

"Okay, Hermione, your turn," said Lupin, shooing the boggart back into the box he'd been keeping it in.

"NO!" said Hermione. I don't want to see what it turns into. Not here, not now.

Lupin eyed her carefully. "We studied these before, back in third year, remember?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "Remember the obstacle course, Hermione? There was a boggart at the end. You came out screaming about McGonagall - you said she said you failed everything. Your greatest fear was failure."

Hermione shook her head. "No, no - it wasn't."

"Huh? You lied? What for?" asked Harry.

"Because - I didn't want you and Ron to know - to know what I saw in there."

"Well, what was it?" asked Harry impatiently. "You know if we come across one in the Trials, we'll all see it. Right?"

"Then, I won't do it. I won't do the Trials." She turned away from Harry and Lupin, trying to keep from shaking.

"That's ridiculous!" said Harry.

"I think I get it," said Lupin slowly, nodding his head. "Yes. Makes perfect sense, absolutely."

"You get what?" said Harry.

"No! You don't get it at all!" said Hermione, turning to him.

"Harry, her greatest fear isn't failure," said Lupin.

"It's not?"

"Please, just drop this!" Hermione was frantic by this time.

Lupin ignored her. "No, Harry, it's not. Hermione's greatest fear is your death."

"What?" Harry grabbed her by the shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me? Or Ron?"

"Because I didn't want to!" she yelled, wrenching herself free. "You'd just think I was stupid, like you do now."

"I don't think you're stupid," said Harry.

"The point is, Hermione," said Lupin smoothly, "more than likely there will be a boggart at the Trials, and it will show your greatest fear, which is Harry's death. So you better be prepared. I won't make you do it today, but next time I come - you're going to have to face it."

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, which was closely followed by a feeling of dread. I'll have to do it later though - I don't want to see that sight ever again. What am I going to do? You have to laugh at a boggart to beat it. I can't laugh at Harry's dead body.

"Okay, so here's what you need to work on," said Lupin, putting down his quill. "You have a good grasp on Shielding Charms, but they need to be stronger. You've got to block Stunning Spells better, work on that. You also need some stronger curses - not Unforgivable level, of course, but at least Confundus level. Get down to the library - McGonagall gave you a note to the Restricted Section, I hope - and do some research. See which curses and hexes you think will help you and get to learning them, plus these I've written here." He handed the paper to Hermione.

"It's after eleven. Come on, I'll walk you two back to the tower." Lupin steered them out of the classroom, patting Hermione on the back.

At the tower, Hermione gave the password ("Puffskein") and started to climb through the portrait hole after Harry, but Lupin stopped her.

"He seems better," said Lupin, after the portrait closed behind Harry.

"He does," she said, looking at the floor. She was a little angry with Lupin for telling Harry about the boggart, and she was even angrier with herself for handling it like a scared little girl. "I think the Auror letter gave him something to focus on besides the bad stuff."

"Keep an eye on him, though. I don't like the way he's happy one minute and sulking the next. Owl me if anything strange happens." His voice dropped lower. "Listen, Hermione, about the boggart - I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. But you have to be prepared."

She nodded and pulled back the portrait, expecting Ron to be waiting in the common room for her as he usually did when she came in late. But he wasn't there.

Harry was.

"Good night, Harry," she said, and tried to walk past him up the stairs.

He grabbed her arm gently but firmly. "Oh, no you don't, Hermione," he said. "We need to talk."

"Oh, so now you want to talk?" she said. "Why now? Why not when I wanted to talk?"

"This is different," he said. "What was it like? That boggart in Lupin's class."

Hermione closed her eyes, trying to shut out the memory of the boggart-Harry she'd seen during their third year exam. "I don't want to talk about it. Not to you. You don't want to know."

"Why?"

"It was too awful, Harry. I don't want to tell you about it." She pulled her arm away from his grasp. "Besides, why should I tell you anything? You're the master of shutting people out. See how it feels? Not good, is it?"

"No, it's not."

"All right then." She took a deep breath. "There's things you can't tell me, fine. There's things I can't tell you, too. Just don't get mad, okay? Don't go off and -"

Ron came in through the portrait hole. He was wearing his Quidditch gear and was liberally splattered with mud.

"Where have you been?" Harry asked. "We didn't have practice tonight."

"Just trying out a few new things," Ron said.

"At eleven o'clock at night?" Hermione asked. "How can you see out there? And it's freezing cold!"

"I managed." He looked at her sharply. "What have you been doing?"

"Practicing for, er..." Hermione stammered.

"Oh yeah, the Auror Trials," said Ron. "Got it." He swept past them up the stairs.

*****

Hermione and Harry practiced three nights a week for the Auror Trials. The first few days they looked in the Restricted Section for every book they could find about curses and curse blocking. Then they spent the rest of their sessions in McGonagall's classroom, trying the various curses on each other and working out ways to block them.

Several of the curses they tried worked particularly well. It took them a few sessions to get used to hurting each other on purpose; but after a while the constant apologizing became tedious, and they reached an unspoken agreement that neither meant to hurt the other, it was just part of the training. There was the Lassus Curse, which produced extreme exhaustion, as if the victim had run a marathon in the burning summer sun. The exhaustion would linger for a while after the curse was lifted, making it hard for the victim to regain their composure to retaliate. The Adflictius Curse was the most powerful of all the curses they had learned so far - about the strongest there was short of Cruciatus, which of course they would not use. It produced a very short burst of intense pain in a specified body part. Harry tried it on Hermione's hand, making her drop her wand in surprise. He seemed to have a slight edge on the offensive spells, though Hermione was very good at them as well.

They also studied defensive spells. Hermione was slightly better at these than Harry. She often was able to cast a Shielding Charm that Harry couldn't penetrate with even a strong Adflictius Curse, although it took an extreme amount of effort. She was occasionally able to get a few of the stronger hexes through Harry's shield, more often than he could to it to her, but not on any consistent basis. They also worked on an Illusion Charm, which conjured two or more images of the caster, confusing the opponent as to which image was real, and a Concealment Charm, which was good to help the caster hide, as long as they were motionless and silent.

Hermione's relationship with Ron was becoming very strained. Ron spent a lot of his time on the Quidditch pitch, apparently very nervous about the upcoming session with the Tornados. Between her Auror Trial practices and his self-imposed extra Quidditch workouts, most of their free time was occupied. Sometimes in class, he would write her little notes, usually funny jokes or silly stick-figure cartoons, (one particularly silly one was a stick Draco Malfoy with a stick Crabbe and a stick Goyle with little horns on their little round heads and shirts that said "Snape's boot licking squad") and they would have a secret laugh together. But these times were growing fewer and farther between. More often than not, she had to soothe his nerves or diffuse an argument that threatened to erupt between them - usually about the Auror Trials. The fun - the part of being with Ron that Hermione liked the most - was slowly being drained out of their being together.

Gryffindor played Hufflepuff in the last Quidditch match before the holidays. Gryffindor flattened them easily due to Ron's zealous defense of the hoops, again not allowing a single goal, and Natalie McDonald's brilliant, almost single-handed scoring of seventy points before Harry caught the Snitch.

Hermione was so wrapped up in preparing for the Auror Trials, keeping an eye on Harry, and trying to keep Ron from slipping farther away from her, all on top of the crushing mound of homework and studying that the professors heaped on all the seventh-years, that she was startled to notice that it was the last day of the term. After dinner that evening, she wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed and go to sleep early, but Lavender and Parvati were busy packing to go home the next day, and that made sleeping impossible. She decided to go for a walk instead, so she grabbed her cloak, scarf, and gloves, and went downstairs. On impulse, she stopped in front of the seventh-year boys dormitory.

Should I see if Ron is there? I haven't really talked to him in so long ...

She knocked once and pushed the door open. Ron was sitting on his bed with a book of Quidditch plays, chewing on a Sugar Quill. He looked up as she came into the room.

"Going somewhere?" he asked, as she put on her cloak and gloves.

"I thought I'd go out for a walk before it gets too dark," she said. "Do you want to come?"

"I was in the middle of reading," he said.

"Oh. Sorry to bother you." She turned to leave, an empty feeling blooming in her chest.

"Wait," he said, laying aside his book and quill. "You weren't bothering me. Let me get my cloak."

The sun was just going down when they went outside, and there was a gentle wind blowing. Hermione shivered and pulled her scarf tighter around her neck, glad that she'd put a Warming Charm on it and on her boots and gloves before coming out. Ron walked close to her, but didn't touch her or take her hand. They walked for a while in silence.

"Any reason you wanted to come out in the cold?" Ron asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Did you put a Warming Charm on your gloves?"

He shook his head. She took out her wand and tapped his gloves, scarf, and shoes to warm them.

"That's better. Thanks. You didn't answer me, though." He put his hands back in his pockets.

"No real reason. I just wanted to think, and everywhere else was noisy."

"What did you want to think about?" he asked, stopping to look at her.

"I don't know. Everything and nothing all at once."

"Big subject."

"Yeah, well." She shook her head. "This is stupid. I should have just stayed inside." She turned to go back to the castle, but Ron blocked her with one long-legged step.

"Hermione, what's happened? To us? The two of us, and the three of us?" His voice was tight and hoarse.

"I don't know, Ron. Maybe it's just stress, you know - "

"Yeah, stress. Maybe after Christmas - after everything - we can try again? Start over?"

She nodded.

They started to walk again, following the gravel path through the gardens, where the high hedges surrounding the gardens and greenhouses blocked the wind. It felt strange to walk with Ron and not hold his hand or touch him in any way, but she kept her hands jammed in the pockets of her cloak.

"I worry about you," said Ron abruptly. "The Auror Trials."

"I'm a big girl, Ron. I can take care of myself," she said, a little more sharply than she intended.

"I know you can. You're dead clever, you know? But I can't help it. You be careful. This is serious business, Hermione."

"You be careful yourself," she said. "You'll be playing with the pros."

"Yeah, I know." He frowned slightly. "I wish I was doing this Auror thing with you, though."

Hermione sighed. Here we go again. I should have kept my mouth shut. "Ron, I'm sorry about that. I wish you were doing it too. Then we'd all be together. But it wasn't up to me."

"Or McGonagall, for that matter." He kicked a piece of gravel into the flowerbed. "I wish I knew who blocked my nomination."

"Don't dwell on it, okay? You need to focus on the session with the Tornados."

He kicked the gravel again. "You're right, as usual."

The Warming Charms had begun to wear off, so they headed back to the castle. It was very warm and bright inside, and Hermione noticed for the first time that the Christmas decorations had been put up. Thick garlands of evergreens, shiny gold and silver ribbons, and tiny white fairy lights were shimmering and glittering all over the main entrance hall. There were also four huge Christmas trees in the entrance; each one decorated with wide silk ribbon and glass balls in House colours and tiny ornaments in the shape of each House Mascot. The Gryffindor and Slytherin trees were opposite each other, flanking the door to the Great Hall, and the contrast of silver and green with red and gold was especially cheerful.

Professor Flitwick was standing on a tall ladder, levitating gleaming bronze eagles trimmed with blue ribbons into place on the Ravenclaw tree. He waved to them as they passed.

"Good luck, Mr. Weasley!" he called. "Make us proud!"

"Thank you, sir!" Ron replied, blushing, but clearly enjoying the attention.

When they got back to Gryffindor Tower, Ron hesitated at the portrait.

"Coming in, dearies?" asked the Fat Lady, who was sipping a mug of eggnog with her friend Violet. She hiccupped loudly and giggled.

"In a minute," said Ron. "Listen, Ginny and I are leaving really early in the morning, so...if I don't see you tomorrow...have a happy Christmas, okay?"

"You too, Ron," said Hermione. She thought for a second he might kiss her, but he didn't - probably because The Fat Lady and Violet chose that moment to start a belching contest. It was quite undignified, and Ron and Hermione both burst out laughing.

It felt good to laugh with Ron again.

"Wassail," said Ron, rolling his eyes at the Fat Lady and smiling at Hermione. The portrait swung open and they climbed in.