Young and Hopeless

I poked my head out of the carriage as it reached the top of the hill. A rare smile crossed my face when the castle came into view. I was so glad to be back at school and away from that hell hole I had to go to during the summer.

Learning how to look after myself was the only good thing I ever got out of summer holidays. I'm pretty good at it now; I know how to get away fast and how to make myself invisible. Not the magical way of course, since we're still not allowed to use magic during the holidays.

Hard days made me
Hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something

Out of this life they call nothing

This is the year I'm going to show them all. They don't know it yet, but the young man they thought they knew is no more.

I'm done trying to act the way they want me to. From now on, I'll do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. And they can't stop me. They're all going to realize just how powerful I really am.

I take what I want
Take what I need
You say it's wrong, but it's right for me

And for those who oppose me?

They'll just have to be dealt with. No one is going to stop me anymore.

I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only god can judge me

Some days, I think I might explode with this secret. Just knowing that, one day, all of these smiling faces will be contorted with fear. Fear of me...

Growing up, I never imagined I could feel as good as I do by knowing that simple fact.

And if I make it through today
Will tomorrow be the same?
Am I just running in place?

They have this nice little picture of my life all ready for me.

A good job at the ministry, a nice home, hell, maybe I'll even get married and have a few kids!

That's what they think, and I don't mind letting them. Because they don't know what I think about, what I dream about.

And if I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on?
Will it all just be the same?

They don't see the images burned into my mind. Images of myself in complete control of everything... everyone.

Control is a beautiful thing, don't you think? Complete and utter control.

The world on a string tied to my hand, and all I have to do to create chaos is wiggle my finger.

'Cause I'm young and I'm hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say

I look around at all the smiling, laughing faces and laugh myself. They'll all see me as I truly am soon. And what if they don't?

They'll run. They'll scream. They'll die.

And they gave me Head Boy status. Imbeciles.

I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
Its me against this world and I don't care

But for now, I have to keep up the charade. It wouldn't do to have Dumbledore breathing down my neck.

No, not before I'm ready to put my plan into affect.

So today, I'm just me. The student they all think I am. I'm just a kid. I'm just the same as I've always been.

I leaped out of the carriage and started walking towards the front doors. Someone called to me and I could hear the person running up behind me. It was a younger student, one six years behind me. Turning, I immediately recognized the white-blonde hair, but his name escaped me. Not that I really cared.

He was also the only one I'd ever shared my dreams with. He was my first follower.

I don't care