The Day That I Die

The light streamed into through the window, waking me. I pulled myself out of bed and walked over to close the curtains. Then I stopped.

Something was different about today. Nothing noticeable, I just felt it. Something big was going to happen. And it would happen before the sunset.

Just like I knew that, I also knew that I wouldn't see that sunset.

One day I woke up
I woke up knowing
Today is the day I will die

It was a pity, really. I always liked sitting up and watching the sun sink below the horizon.

I walked out to the garden and looked over the low wall into the field behind the house. I remember playing Quidditch there, when I was younger. When we were all younger.

Smiling, I grabbed my broom out of the shed and pushed off the ground. It was exhilarating.

I missed that feeling.

Cash Dogg was barking
Went to the park and
Enjoyed it one last time

I haven't played since we left school. The war takes precedence over everything.

I hear someone call me from inside. It was mum, she was telling me to come in and eat.

I flew down, dropped my broom and rushed over to her. A look of astonishment crossed her face as I caught her up in a tight hug. She started crying when I told her how much she meant to me.

I hadn't done that in a while either.

I called my mother
Told her I loved her
And I begged her not to cry

I rushed upstairs and pulled out some parchment and a quill. If I wasn't going to see any one I loved again, then at least I could tell them how much I cared.

It took me a long time to write them all. In the end, I had a stack of folded parchment piled on my desk. Some were obviously larger than others, but all had the same meaning in them. The same amount of emotion.

I wrote a letter
I said I'd miss her
And I signed that good bye

I'd never written anything like that before. I hope I was able to get it all down; I'd hate to leave this world without having left something of importance behind. I smiled, maybe some of the people I wrote to would realize that there were still things out there worth fighting for.

Like memories.

I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. My life played like a muggle movie. I found myself laughing, crying, blushing and wanting to scream, both in anger and in fright. Especially as my movie came to an end.

Maybe dying wouldn't be so bad after all. I'd be out of this war... I wouldn't have to see any more of the people I loved fall lifelessly to the ground.

You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die

I hoped it ended tonight. This war consumed everyone and everything.

I shivered as I thought of the dead and pulled my blanket over my head. Just like I used to do as a child to keep the monsters away.

Can you feel the cold tonight?
It sets in, but it's alright

It was nice, the darkness. It felt safe and warm.

Darkness falls, I'm letting go
All alone, but I feel fine

I called you on the Floo and asked if you wanted to come with me.

You agreed, just like you always do. I hadn't even told you where I wanted to go, but you agreed.

I stepped through to your home and we Apparated away.

You always close your eyes when you Apparate. Did you know that?

We took a drive and
We drove through DC
To see the places we lived

We were in Hogsmeade. Or, what was left of Hogsmeade. It had been demolished a few months ago by the Death Eaters.

Walking down the street, we stopped in front of the places that held memories.

Zonko's was still mostly standing. The front looked almost intact, but both of us knew the damage that had been done to the back of it.

The roof of Honeyduke's had sunk down in the middle. I remember looking inside there after the attack and seeing that the shop I spent so much time in had been completely gutted.

The Three Broomsticks was the worst. There was nothing left except the sign that refused to fall off the rusty pole rising from the cobblestone sidewalk. You and I had been the first to dive into the rubble once the Death Eaters had left. We found Madam Rosmerta there.

Somehow, she was still alive, but both of us knew she wasn't going to make it. I think she knew too. Do you remember what she said? She told us to leave her, to let her die in her shop. And you and I, we held her hands when she died.

The Aurors wanted to move her, but you made them leave. Then we laid boards around her, like some kind of make-shift coffin.

I wonder if it's still there?

Long conversations
We talked of old friends
And all the things that we did

I looked away from the ruins to see you waiting for me. You knew exactly where I wanted to go.

Hogwarts.

The castle was still in pretty good condition, but no students had been inside for at least a year.

I think, maybe, that the only reason it still stands is because of the castle itself. There's a legend that the Founders gave the castle a memory, so that time would never really be forgotten.

Maybe it's the memories that hold it up.

Summer nights
Drunken fights
Mistakes we made
Did we live it right?

We placed our hands on the front doors. Both of us knew they wouldn't budge, they hadn't since the school had been closed but we pushed anyway.

Wishful thinking I guess. I'd hoped to walk its halls once more.

Maybe I'll haunt it? Yeah, that might be fun.

You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I died

The rings on our fingers burned, we were being called back to headquarters.

Never thought I'd be apparating this close to Hogwarts. But the wards are no longer held, they died with Dumbledore.

Headquarters was usually warm, but the expressions of the Order made chilled me.

Their determination was carved into their granite-like faces. Or maybe they were ice-like, that would explain why it felt so cold.

Can you feel the cold tonight?
It sets in, but it's alright

We were all told the location of the newest attack. It was Stonehenge. With one last look around the room, I Apparated away to my last battle.

Aurors and Death Eaters flung spells at each other mercilessly. It was kill or be killed now; no one cared about morals anymore. Oh, sure, we acted like we did. But we didn't really.

I dodged a flash of green light and turned to shoot a curse back at my attacker.

He flew back into a boulder and hit his head. I quickly ran over to break the wand of my now-unconscious opponent. That's what we did now. No use in letting them have their wands back, after all.

But that didn't mean I liked doing it. A wand was something special, a part of the witch or wizard it belonged to. Like Ollivander said, "The wand chooses the wizard." Every time I snapped a wand, I felt something snap inside me. It was almost like murder.

Almost. Murder had a different feeling. One I also knew well.

Darkness falls, I'm letting go
All alone but I feel just fine

This wasn't right. I'd turned eighteen only two weeks ago.

Did I live it right?

And yet, here I was; an accomplished killer. But alls fair in war, right?

I hope I lived it right

Nine more fell by my hand before I heard you shout my name in panic. I looked up to see you pointing at a spot to my left.

Did I live it right?

You were trying to warn me, just like you always did. You were always looking out for me. I think I lived this long because of it.

Did I live it right?

I turned in time to see that unforgiving green light rushing straight for my chest.

I hope I lived it right

There was no time to duck it.

I know I lived it right