From Here To Eternity

From Here to Eternity

~ Hermione’s POV . . .

         It feels like forever since you kissed me, lord help me, it HAS been forever. I can't recall the exact time or day when you got on your broomstick and sent a weary glance my way. Only leaving me with a lonely, Good-bye.

       Good-bye. I bet you have no idea how those words have haunted me these last couple of years. Good-bye. A two syllable word that has haunted my dreams every night. You weren't supposed to say that, no, not to me. Not you, you hated good-byes.

       You told me yourself. Good-byes’ have always been a burden to me. Without a smile, humor, or even a hint of sarcasm. As usual, serious as ever, something that I found oddly attractive about you.

       It seems to me that this window has been my only escape in the moments I couldn't do anything but weep. No one understood, no one wanted to. I'm young, pretty, talented, and have my whole life in front of me. Why did I need you? You, Draco Malfoy? Why did I need you? Because I wanted you.

       I think about you every day, it seems that you are my every thought. I've been through every 'what if' situation known to man. But still nothing comes to me. I wonder will you ever come home. I wonder where is your heart. I wonder what do you think of me.

       I, Hermione Granger, the most confident, intelligent, girl in the world wonders what you, Draco Malfoy, thinks of her. I wonder if you miss me, if you ever wanted me, I wonder why did you leave. But it all brings me back to this chair, back to this window, back to the wind, back to my tears.

       Everyone has tried their hand at getting me to let you go, even Lucius. His visit sent me into a fit of giggles, Lucius's a handsome man, pretty nice too, but no kind of comforting skills at all. He kept trying to rationalize it all saying, ‘He's a dangerous man.’ and ‘He has no room for casualties . . . ’. And just so you know I laughed at him, loudly. Tears dripping on my shirt, mascara running and all, I laughed at Lucius Malfoy and he was glad of it.

       But no one really understands how much I miss you.

       I miss you with every fiber of my being, sometimes I can't eat, sometimes I can't sleep, sometimes I can't stop laughing, and most times I can't stop crying. But after the first 16 or so months I started living a little more, everyone kept nagging me to go out and live my life before it was too late. And I do, sometimes, but only with Harry, Ron, Narcissa, or Lucius.

       Sometimes Harry, Ron, & I just go to the lake and say nothing at all to each other, but they understand that even if I don't speak I love them for putting up with me. Narcissa and I, we go to the Manor and watch Muggle chick-flicks but we always end up talking about you, she loves you and I love you, she's the only one who gets it. And Lucius, I have the best time with him because he always keeps my mind off you, I never know how but he does; he always has me talking about something else the moment I see him. And to all three I would give my life just to show them how thankful I am to them.

       But I still wish you'd come back. When there is no Harry, no Ron, no Narcissa, no Lucius I still hope and pray you will come back. Maybe not to me but just come back, just so I could see you, just to have you near.

     Everyone still wonders why you left that day, even Lucius, he always says ‘I didn't send him away'. I don't have the heart to tell any of them it was because of me and my big mouth. I don't have the heart to look Narcissa in the eye and say 'I'm the reason your son is left', I just can't do it. And I'm thankful you never told them.

       That day will never fade in my mind, nothing has left me, from the color of my dress to the wind outside, I have forgotten nothing. You came into the kitchen and grabbed some of my breakfast, like you always did, and we talked, as usual. But the first strike came when I brought up the kiss we had shared months before, you looked horrified, but I didn't quit. The second strike came when I kissed you, you pushed me away so hard I knocked over the table. You had ran outside to get some air but I wouldn't quit and I committed the third strike when I said the three forbidden words. I told you I loved you, it was the truth then and it's the truth now.

       I love you, Draco Malfoy. I hate myself every time I think about those words I dared to speak out loud. I hate myself every time I remember you shaking your head at me as you walked toward your broomstick. I hate myself every time I see your eyes glaring at me as you whispered good-bye for the last time. "Good-bye."

       How could that have been a good-bye when I've yet to give you up? Hermione Granger doesn't give up on much, especially not you.

     Draco, I don't know how to explain what I feel right now any better than this. I'm sorry I ran you away, it was never my intention, and if you can forgive me for whatever my mistake was, I could let you go. But some days it just seems impossible, like you and I were meant to be, as odd as it seems. It just seems like destiny that you saved me and I saved you. You told me once that, "fate existed only in a woman's eyes." And in my eyes fate wants us, together, today, tomorrow, and yesterday.

       If you'd only come home, I could tell you all this and not be speaking in to the wind. If only -- if only you knew just how I miss you.

       If only.

~Draco’s POV...

       It's funny that I walked out on you that day. I really didn't want to because I love you too, probably more than you will ever know now. I walked away because I knew you were too good of a woman for me to ruin. I couldn't ruin you, I wouldn't, and now I wish I had stayed and ruined you anyway.

       You would probably laugh and say 'Draco, the only person who could ruin me is me'. And I'd probably fight the urge to kiss you. Kiss you like you kissed me. That day is something I'll never forget. I love you, Draco Malfoy.

       I love you. Though I'd dreamt it a thousand times before I couldn't show the happiness I felt when you spoke those three beautiful words. Those words haunt my every thought. Something I thought I couldn't do, I did, I lied to you. Not in words but in actions, I acted as if I didn't love you. The biggest lie I've ever told.

       Without your smiling face, everyday seems to be unimportant, I go out and I do what Lucius asks, but I always end up here. On the porch of the Malfoy Summer House looking out into the horizon looking for a sign of you. You, Hermione Granger, are somewhere in Hogsmead with my heart in your hands.

       I hate I left you thinking I don't love you, but at times a man just has to do what he has to do whether or not he likes it. Seems like that's my life story. But I know you're being taken care of, father tells me a lot, tells me even now you hold on.

       Why Hermione, why? Why can't you just let me go? It'll be better for you that way. Maybe not an easy way out but it's the best thing for you. I shouldn't have spent so much time with you, giving us both time to fall in love. Damn it.

       I miss you, overconfident, self-centered, intelligence, and all. I miss you Hermione Granger. I wish I could've gotten to learn more about you than I did. So many things I wanted to know about you. For the first time in my life I wanted to ask questions, I wanted to know someone else's story. I wanted to see your heart, feel your soul, I wanted to reach deep within you, and explore the very depth of your being.

       I wanted to know how you breathed, I wanted to be apart of it, I wanted learn why you laughed, I wanted to join you, I wanted to feel your love, and I wanted to feel it all through me.

       After all this time I need you, so I can be whole, I need you like I've never need anybody before. I need you in a way I've never experienced or ever hoped to. Sometimes I regret what I did, well, I always regret what I did. I just should've stayed with you and been happy.

       From what I hear you cry your eyes out over me still, sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, and you can never tell from day to day. I hate what I'm doing to you, I hate myself for even putting you through this, my fiery, passionate, beautiful Hermione in tears? Over me? And it's my fault.

       I only wish I could hold you and console you, put away your pain in a little box and throw it away. Kiss all your tears away and whisper all the words that you want to hear and I want to say. Make you feel safe, make you happy, make you smile. Lord, I wish you were here Hermione.

   

       Hermione, you don't know just how I love you. Everyday I do my job, I kill people without blinking, I destroy my enemies, I do all the things that use to make you flinch in pain when you thought of how horrible it made me. I do all the things that use to make you hold me a little tighter before I went on a quick 'business' trip. I do all the things the made you sit with mother for hours while father and I went to America, Durmstrang, or wherever.

       But I always end up here, with you on my mind, and Champagne in my hand. I think of how beautiful you'd be sitting here with me, not saying a word just watching the sun say good-bye to another day. I always sit here, late into the night, reminiscing about the many things we did together. Becoming friends during fifth, standing outside in a storm dancing, walks in the park, walks through the Forbidden Forest in seventh year. We did everything together.

        I'd give anything to live that one day over. The day I left you and broke both our hearts. I'd give anything to unbrake your heart and tell you how I feel.

     Hermione, I don't know how to explain it any better than this. My world revolves around you, you're my sun, my moon, and my stars. I'm so sorry I broke your heart, I'm so sorry I left you alone. I wish I could go back and forget about my doubts and insecurities. I couldn't ruin you, you are a rare stone that can't be broken, but I fear if I stay away to long I may break you. By not being near you I may break myself. It's hard being strong without you behind me.

       But I'm happy you haven't given up. Hell, I knew you wouldn't give up! Hermione Granger doesn't give up on much, especially not me. You always understood me and I always understood you. I know now that 'fate' wants us together. Like I told you years ago Hermione, fate exists only in a woman's eyes. And Hermione, you are that woman.

       I can't stay away any longer, I have to right my wrongs. I can't wait another day, I have to see you again. I have too.

       I can't wait any longer.

       I can't.

~Hermione & Draco...

       Hermione was standing on the veranda outside of the new Beach house Lucius had just bought Narcissa. They were standing near the railing close to the roses, today she felt happy, she felt good, like something great was going to happen. She was trying her best to make him tell her what her surprise was. Lucius and was just smiling like a new father not saying a word.

      Hermione stopped begging when she heard a carriage start to come up the long driveway, her heart sped up. Could it be? She looked at Lucius who was now looking at her with as much as a smile as he could muster, not noticing Narcissa standing in the door with a smile to save all smiles on her face. She and Lucius both had known that their son was in love with Hermione, they had known way before he left, they were just wondering when he was going to come to his senses.

       Draco stepped off the carriage keeping his eyes on Hermione, he wanted to run to her, hold her, wipe her tears away. Lucius laid his hand on Hermione's back and whispered, "Surprise."

       

       She was already crying and she wrapped her arms around Lucius thanking him. Draco walked up to the steps that lead to the veranda, stopped at the bottom step, and whispering her name with love that was heard clearly. Hermione let go of Lucius and looked at Draco, she slowly made her way over to the first step of the veranda, looked him straight in the eyes and apologized for her last words

       "Why?" he asked extending his hand so she would come down the steps instead of looking at him like she was seeing a ghost.

                         She walked down the steps never looking away from him, she wanted to kiss him, hold him, never let him go but she couldn't do it.

       "For saying what I did that day. I -- I didn't mean it."

       "I love you too." Draco said quickly pulling her close, he said it so seriously that she knew he meant it.

       Hermione hugged him tightly, her tears falling without her trying her voice whispering six words over and over.

       "Oh God I've missed you."

     

       And she held onto to him only to let go to put her lips to his. The moment their lips touched he pulled her even closer, he couldn't believe what he was feeling, he felt like he was floating on air. She ran her fingers through his hair with a contented sigh against his lips.

       With their foreheads still touching, Draco asked softly, running his fingers through her hair, "Why didn't you give up Hermione?"

       "I couldn't give up on you Draco, not you." she whispered as he kissed her again, with a smile, something she only saw rarely.

       "I'm so glad you didn't give up." he replied kissing her again as she closed her eyes and tried to erase the years of pain.

       "Why didn't you tell me?"

       Hermione asked as one of their hands got laced together, they were so into each other that they didn't notice Narcissa and Lucius standing there watching them.

       "I didn't want to ruin you." he replied cupping her face as he kissed her one more time, he didn't think he could kiss her enough, he didn't want to let her go, he thought she might disappear.

       Just as he thought she would, she laughed and said, "Draco you couldn't ruin me if you tried, the only thing that could ruin me is me."

     She ran her hand over his face just trying to be sure he was real and he was really in love with her.

       She kissed his cheek and he asked, "Hermione why me?"

       "Because I wanted you, you are perfect to me, flaws and all. I don't care what you do, I don't care about your family, or your last name. All I care about of what's inside of you. You're the best man I've ever met, you keep me safe, and I keep you safe in my own way."

       She replied laying her head on his shoulder breathing in his soft cologne hoping she'd never have to sit at that window and wonder 'what if' ever again.

       Draco closed eyes smelling the soft smell of her Muggle Victoria's Secret perfume on his face. "I hate I made you cry, I never meant to, I just wanted you to have only the best in life."

       "I know you didn't mean to." Hermione replied kissing his neck. "But you didn't realize the best life for me was wherever you were, because there is no happiness compared with being in love with you."

       "Hermione & Draco? Gryffindor & Slytherin?" he asked taking her hands she raised her head off his shoulder, he knew he couldn't live another day without her.

       "Yep."

       She smiled holding his hand tighter, she had always thought this day would never come. "From here to eternity."

===== END