Married Life

Severus' eyes were almost as big as Dobby's. A part of him thought this was all a joke, pulled by Dumbledore, but when he looked into Dumbledore's eyes and saw they too were full of surprise and shock, as well as the rest of the Great Hall, he knew right then and there that this was no joke. Severus' eyes then turned from shock and disbelieve to distaste and outrage. Snape stood up to rant and rave, when Hermione then fainted. Snape personally could careless, but Dumbledore on the other hand did.

"Severus, take Miss Granger to my office where I would like the two of you to wait for me," said Dumbledore. Shit, thought Snape, this is just great. Severus picked Hermione up with, surprisingly, gentle care. He walked out of the Great Hall and down the corridors and only then would he look down at Hermione, who had her head on his arm, and his lips twisted into a light smile. She looks so innocent, Snape thought as they reached the gargoyles. Snape then snap out of it and his once up turned lips returned to their normal sneer. Snape mumbled the password, "Skittles", and walked up the stairs with Hermione in his arms. When Snape opened the door, he didn't know where to put her. I could put her in a chair, but she would more than likely fall out and hit her head. That's just what I need, Snape thought sarcastically, Dumbledore thinking I'm trying to give my students concussions. There's no place I can lay her down at all, damn it. As Snape thought this he sat down and shifted Hermione onto his lap. Hermione's head rested on Snape's shoulder and her arm laid on Snape's. Snape would never admit this to anyone, for he could barley admit it to himself, but he felt peaceful with Hermione as she was. As if on cue Hermione sighed and put her arm around his neck, and ever so slowly brought her head over to his and started to nuzzle his neck. Down boy, down, Snape thought. If only Hermione knew how she was affecting him, she might have stopped, but in her condition she had no clue, much to Snape's annoyance and pleasure.

Dumbledore walked in 15 minutes later. Dumbledore walked around his desk and looked at Snape, who had beads of sweat on his forehead, and laughed. "Severus, all you had to do was perform the Enervate." Dumbledore chuckled once more then with a wave of his wand Hermione woke up.

Hermione, to put it simply, was in shear bliss. She felt strong warm arms around her and the smell of herbs and musk tickled her senses. Hermione wanted to get as close as she could to the warmth. She sighed. Hermione never wanted to wake up, but she felt a sensation in her nerves and her eyes opened and when she looked into the eyes of the dreaded potions master, she screamed right in Snape's ear. She pulled back so fast she did a back flip and landed on her feet, much to Snape's surprise.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Hermione said drastically.

"Miss Granger, please calm down and have a sit," said Dumbledore. "And Miss Granger, not on my lap." Snape said. Hermione rolled her eyes at this, and in her mind she was screaming ASSHOLE! She sat down, crossed her legs, and folded her hands in her lap with her eyes set with determination. She was about to argue about her situation but Snape beat her to it.

"Albus, there's no way I'm going to live with Miss Granger for a year. I simply will not slander my reputation by something so ridiculous." Snape said with rage and disgust, "I would even kiss Voldemort's ass then do this."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at this and said, "I thought you had already done that?"

Before Severus could yell something rude, Dumbledore said, "Is that right Severus?" Dumbledore sounded like he was asking a question, but he continued without waiting for an answer, "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid you will. I can not change what the sorting hat said for what ever the sorting hat says if final." Snape looked baffled. Hermione, at first looked pissed, but her face softened and she even smiled, a very evil smile at that. Dumbledore seen her smile, and sort of felt sorry for Severus, but he knew it will do the man good to live with a woman. Maybe he would even discover a newfound respect for women and his students alike.

One after another, cruel ideas turned in her mind as she glanced at Severus. Oh she was going milk this for all it's worth and get Severus Snape back for everything he has said or did in the past. Oh, the sweet smell of revenge, Hermione thought.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. There is no way I'm shearing a bed with that know it all, his head screamed. Snape's eyes flashed with anger and annoyance, as he was about to argue some more, but the look in Dumbledore's eyes stopped him. Oh how he was going to make that know it all pay.

"Now, the password to your rooms is 'Homicide', which can be found in the dungeons, behind a portrait of Salazar Slytherin. Also, here is your pet." With a wave of his wand and few words under his breath later a puppy appeared on Dumbledore's desk. "Now, Miss Granger, I'm sure you know what to feed and what not to feed him, correct?"

Hermione, who was petting the dog, looked up at him and said, "Oh, yes of course professor." Dumbledore nodded. "Now this puppy here is going to represent a child. It will be taken with either one of you during the day. Also, you two have already missed half of dinner and by the time you two go to your rooms and dropped off your 'child,' you would most likely miss all of it. So, one of you or both of you will have to cook tonight. The refrigerator in your rooms will always be stocked. Miss Granger, you can show Severus how to use the stove and oven. If either of you have any questions you know where to find me."

Hermione looked at Severus then at the puppy, then back at Severus, then back at the puppy, then back at Severus once more and said, "Dear, you should be proud. Our child gets his looks from your side of the family." With that, Hermione, with the puppy in hand, stood up and walked to the door. "Come on love, I think our little baby is hungry. Yes you are, yes you are." Hermione said in a singsong voice, which made Snape cringe.

"Really? Well if I didn't know any better I would say I was looking at your mother. Wait, it looks just like her. Aww, she's going to be so pleased. And Miss Granger, what did you call me?" Snape said in a low dangerous tone of voice, hearing her mumble obscenities at him.

At this Hermione's eyes flashed. "Sevvy, if you don't come on already and stop insulting your face, I'll make you sleep with the dog. Now get your blubber butt up and let's go," Hermione said.

Severus's face flushed with anger, though he did get up. He walked to the door and stood next to Hermione, who started to go out the door when Dumbledore spoke up "I don't really have to tell you this Severus since you are a professor, but you don't have much of private life. There's just one rule, no sexual activity. I put wards, spells, and charms in all the rooms to prevent it. That is all, good night." Severus and Hermione were dumbstruck.

Hermione though was the first to recover. "Okay, thanks for that disturbing info. Let's go Sevvy, you have cooking duty." With that Hermione walked out the door and down the stairs before Snape could yell at her. Snape ran out the door and down the stairs, for he was about to go to Azkaban for murder.

"MISS GRANGER" Snape bellowed, "I MAY HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS PROJECT BUT YOU WILL TREAT ME WITH RESPECT!"

Hermione just raised an eyebrow and said coolly, "I believe that's Mrs. Snape now. Also, there's no need to yell. I'm right in front of you." Hermione paused for a second and then said, "When's the last time you brushed your teeth or had a breath mint? Your teeth are more yellow than the sun, and your breath smells like Crookshank's litter box." With that she turned on her heal and walked toward the dungeons. Snape just stared at her with fury in his eyes, and then he stalked after her. When he got to her, she was standing in front of the portrait; she said the password and walked in with Snape behind her. They had no idea someone was in the room waiting for them.