Was I Ever Loved By You?

LETTING GO

Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel is truth
I can say is mine
That's all I ever wanted to be
The closer that I got
The further I could see
But when lovers change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go

The Letting Go by Melissa Etheridge

* * * * *

Angelina looks surprised to see me when she opens the door. "Ginny! What are you doing here? Come in!" She opens the door and I step inside the house she and Fred bought four years ago when they were married. I can hear laughing coming from the living room at the end of the hall. "How are you?" she asks, flashing me a smile.

"Angry," I say. Her smile instantly dissolves into a frown and her shoulders drop.

"What did they do now?" she says tiredly. "Don´t tell me they had you try that new fountain quill of theirs. I don`t know how many sweaters I`ve ruined since they came up with that idea..."

"It´s not that," I say, not offering more. Her frown deepens. She nods towards the living room and I follow her to the doorway. "Fred!"

"What?" Fred asks, looking up from his seat.

"You have company," she says.

I say nothing as Fred and George look up at me identical grins on their faces. Alicia glances up and smiles broadly at me. "Hello, Ginny."

"Ginny, what are you doing here?" Fred asks.

"Yes, you´re supposed to be chatting it up with Lars," George says with a knowing smile.

"And you two are supposed to be at the show, if I recall correctly," I say.

"Well, of course there´s no show," Fred says, as if it´s the most obvious thing in the world.

"We saw the chemistry between you and Lars," George adds, raising his eyebrow. "We didn´t think you´d want your older, stuffy brothers getting in the way. We were trying to help you out."

"When I need your help," I say through gritted teeth, "I´ll ask for it."

"What did you do?" Angelina says, directing a very practiced look at Fred.

Fred frowns. "All we did was set her up on a blind date."

"All you did was pay some guy to go out with me!"

"You did what?" Angelina and Alicia spit out in unison.

"Bloody hell," George muttered. "I told you we should have gone with Jacques. He never would have told her about the money."

"Do you know how humiliating that is?" I ask, looking at the both of them. "To know that your own brothers think they have to pay someone to go out with you! You think I´m so horrible that I can´t get a date on my own? Is that it?"

"Ginny, that´s not it at all," George says, taking a step toward me.

"We thought a date would cheer you up," Fred says, getting frustrated with the angry looks being shot at him by the females in the room.

"By paying someone to go out with her?" Angelina asks, her hands on her hip. "Honestly, Fred!"

"What were you thinking?" Alicia asks George.

"You´re all overreacting!" Fred says defensively. "We were just trying to help!"

"Well I don´t need your help," I snap.

"Oh, because you´re just doing fine on your own. Is that it?" Fred asks me angrily.

"Yes!"

"You´ve got a funny way of showing it," he says. "We´ve watched you sit around feeling sorry for yourself for the last three months. Hiding out at The Burrow, or at the office, acting like you`re afraid to get out in the real world again. It´s time you got over Harry. He´s had no trouble getting over you, has he?"

I feel like someone has just punched me in the stomach.

"Fred Weasley!" Angelina says, stepping forward. "That´s a horrible thing to say!"

"Angel, it´s true and you know it."

Angelina´s eyes flash. "Oh, because if I was to up and leave you tomorrow you´d be able to forget everything we had in three months time?" She snorts. "Good to know how much I mean to you."

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves!" Alicia says standing up and glaring at the twins.

"Now wait a minute," says George.

"I think you two should leave," Angelina says sternly.

"What?" Fred asks looking indigent.

"You heard me. I think you should leave."

"Both of you." Alicia added.

"This is my house!" Fred says.

"Your house?" Angelina says, "Your house? I thought it was our house."

"You two can´t kick us out like this!" George says, stepping up beside Fred.

"Watch us!" Angelina says, as her and Alicia face off against the twins.

"Woman..." Fred says warningly.

"Woman!" Angelina says pulling out her wand. "Didn´t I tell you never to call me that?"

"STOP IT!" I yell, startling all of them. They turn to look at me. "I`m leaving."

I start walking down the hall towards the door.

"Wait, Ginny, we´re coming with you," Alicia says and I can hear her hurrying after me.

"What? Where are you going?" George demands.

"Out," Alicia calls over her shoulder.

"And don´t bother waiting up," Angelina says, "You won´t be getting anything from this woman tonight."

"Nor this one," Alicia says, taking my arm in hers and nodding with satisfaction as Angelina slams the door behind us.

* * * * *

"I think we handled that rather well," Alicia says, taking a sip of her rum and coke. We´re sitting at a Muggle pub a few blocks from Angelina´s house, having decided on an impromptu girls´ night out.

"Indeed," Angelina says with a wry smile. "That should make them think twice about interfering in your love life again, Ginny."

I smile at them. "Thanks."

"Though," Alicia says, "they did have your best interests at heart. They just want to see you happy. We all do."

"I don´t think I know what happy is anymore," I say, taking a sip of my gin and tonic. Harry used to call my gin and tonics, "Gin Gins". I swallow the memory with the alcohol.

"You will," Angelina says, "just give it time. Despite what our husbands think, broken hearts don´t heal overnight."

"His seemed to heal rather quickly," I say.

"He´s a man," Alicia says simply. "He doesn´t have a heart, he has a..."

"Is that Draco Malfoy over there?" Angelina says, slamming her drink down in shock.

"Where?" Alicia says, looking up. I follow Angelina´s nod and notice Malfoy deep in conversation with a beautiful blonde woman. "It is!" Alicia hisses, "I thought he was..."

"Dead," I finish for her. "He´s not. He´s the new owner of the Weekly."

"What´s he doing in a Muggle bar?"

I shrug and finish off my drink. "Probably the same thing we´re doing in a Muggle bar," I say as I wave the waiter over and order another.

"He´s aged well, hasn´t he?" Alicia comments, looking over her glass at the couple.

"It´s a wonder he´s even aged at all," Angelina says. "By rights he should be dead or locked away in Azkaban with that last name."

"Where has he been? I wonder." Alicia says as we watch the woman stand up suddenly. She shakes her head vehemently, grabs her purse and leaves quickly. Malfoy sighs, throws down some money and follows her. I´m glad he didn´t notice me. Another lecture is the last thing I need right now. What I need right now is another drink.

* * * * *

"Do you talk to Hermione much?" Angelina asks me. I´m feeling pleasantly lightheaded and have lost track of my Gin Gins.

"No, not really. She´s called a couple of times, but I never call her back."

"Why not?"

"It´s silly, really...but I feel like she´s more his friend than mine."

"Ah," Angelina says, nodding. "So Harry got Hermione and you got Ron?"

"Something like that."

Alicia laughs a little too loudly. "I think you got the problem child in the separation. Poor Ron, he hasn´t had a date since Fudge was in office."

"That´s not true, he dated Katie´s cousin for a while. What was her name?" Angelina asks.

Alicia snorts, "Marlene?"

"Yes!" Angelina says, slapping her hand on the table. "She had that horrible chipmunk laugh!"

"Oh I know! Once, at the end of a double date, George had to hold me back from spellotaping her mouth shut!"

I almost spit my drink out I´m laughing so hard. "I remember Marlene," I say. Then I try to imitate her laugh, a horrible impression, that gets me stares from the Muggles around us and causes Alicia to almost fall of her chair from laughing so hard.

"I heard she got married," Angelina says, when we´ve finally caught our breaths.

"That´s true love, then," Alicia says, finishing off another drink.

"I don´t understand it, though." Angelina says, sobering a bit. Well, as much as you can sober in a Muggle bar at midnight. "Ron´s a good guy. Why hasn´t he been snatched up by some girl?"

"Because he´s always looking for the wrong sort of girl."

"I don´t think it´s that," I say. "I think he just doesn´t know where to start."

"Too bad we couldn´t pick a girl out for him," Angelina says. "Someone who deserves him."

I laugh. "You mean set him up on a blind date with someone?"

They grin at me. "I suppose we couldn´t do that, could we? Not after tonight."

"George and Fred would lose all respect for us," Alicia says, nodding.

"It would be fun, though, wouldn´t it?" Angelina says, her eyes shining.

I smile to myself. It would be fun. Suddenly an idea hits me and I knock over my drink in my excitement. "That´s it!"

"What is?" Angelina asks, trying to mop up the mess I´ve just made.

"This is perfect! We can have a contest!"

Angelina looks over at Alicia. "How many of those gin and tonics has she had?"

Alicia shrugs. "I don´t even know how many of these I´ve had."

"A contest held by Witch Weekly. And Ron will be the prize!"

"What?" Angelina asks, clearly not following my line of thought.

"We´ll ask single women to send in their picture and fill out a questionnaire..." I say, pulling out a notepad and writing my ideas down furiously. "And the winner gets a date with Ron!"

Angelina and Alicia burst out into uncontrollable fits of laughter, causing every head to turn and stare.

"Oh!" Alicia says holding her sides. "Can you imagine women fighting over Ron?"

"A few glamour shots, a little elaboration here and there and I bet I can make Ron absolutely irresistible to my readers."

"Do you think he´ll be up for it, though?" Angelina asks, wiping away tears from laughing so hard.

"Are you kidding?" I ask with a confident grin, "Women throwing themselves at him? He´ll love it!"

* * * * *

"No way."

"Ron!" I say loudly, instantly wincing at the sound of my own shrill voice. I´m still trying to nurse my killer hangover from our girls´ night out. "Come on. This is your dream come true. Your turn to shine, to be in the spotlight. You´re telling me you don´t want to meet beautiful, talented women who want to meet you?"

"Not like this!" he says, standing up and walking to the tiny kitchen in his flat.

I follow him. I´m not going to give it that up easily. It is a brilliant idea. Even if I did come up with it when I was completely plastered. "What´s wrong with it? Do you know of any other magazine where you´ll have the opportunity to be a centerfold!"

He grimaces. "Mum reads that magazine!"

"Think of how proud she´ll be!"

"NO," he says, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Ron, please!" I say blocking the door so that he can´t walk back out into the living room. "You don´t understand. I'm desperate!"

"Why me?"

"What´s the big deal? You go to the pub all the time hoping to meet a girl. This is so much simpler! You don´t have to do any work. You don´t have to come up with witty things to say, you don´t have to run the risk of rejection, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty...I mean, handsome." I take a deep breath. "Just think of this one as Ginny approved."

He frowns at me, though I can see he´s thinking about it.

"Have I ever led you wrong?"

"Well there was that time I had to enter the bloody Chamber of Secrets to find you..."

"Ron!"

"Oh, all right. But she´d better be pretty."

* * * * *

Sunday night I lie in my bed staring up at the ceiling. It´s been a busy weekend to say the least. Even though today was Sunday I´ve been busy putting things into motion. Colin will be taking Ron´s glamour shots tomorrow afternoon, and I´ve already got a layout in my mind´s eye.

I smile to myself, this is going to be fun. Not only that, it´s a way to help Ron. Ron, who is always there when I need him. Who would never dream about paying someone to go out with me. In fact, he´s more likely to pay someone not to go out with me. Despite that unpleasant thought, he´s always been my favorite brother and it feels good to finally be able to do something for him. I just hope I don´t mess it up.

I close my eyes and push those thoughts away quickly. I won´t mess it up. I can do this. I can find someone for Ron. I can impress Malfoy. And I can get over Harry.

I open my eyes.

I can get over Harry?

The thought came so easily. It just slid in with the others. I had sounded so sure of myself. Was it possible that I was ready to let go?

I can do this.

* * * * *