The Road Home

HEARTLESS

Once upon a time, Lucius Malfoy had loved someone. He thought that it could never happen to him. Love was such a foolish emotion, such a weakness. Love only poisoned the soul and the heart until you were left empty and alone. His father had explained it all to him, making him swear that he wouldn't let himself be tricked by love.

Caesar, his brother, had disobeyed his father's orders and had died because of it. Lucius, in spite of what everyone thought about it, liked Caesar a lot. Caesar had always been kind and friendly with his little brother, the very opposite of how Archibald Malfoy had been with his children and wife.

Lucius had suffered after Caesar's death but he had never showed how sad he was feeling, because Malfoys weren't supposed to have emotions, only hate. Caesar had been a good brother, even a better brother than Lucius deserved.

In a cold night of December, Caesar had confided in Lucius that he had fallen in love with a guy. Lucius had felt disgusted, to say the least, but he had kept quiet about it. Oh, how little he knew that a year later he would be the one to fall into the traps of love as well, and for another boy, to his distress. He hadn't understood how that happened at first because he was nothing like Caesar. But the fact was that he indeed had fallen madly in love with someone he definitely shouldn't have, and he had thrown up for an entire week when he had discovered that the butterflies in his stomach and the leap in his heart that he felt every damn time a certain boy passed by him were symptoms of - *gasp* - love. He had never felt so terrified in his entire life. His father had lied to him. Oh, yes, Lucius had a heart.

His father had been right in other aspects though. The experience of loving for the first time had been a big fiasco, and in the end Lucius had been left to deal alone with the hurt, the emptiness and - the worst thing of all - the heartbreaking.

Thus, if he sounded a little harsh with his only child, he would be forgiven. He was acting in his son's best interest after all. He was actually doing Draco a huge favour. A Malfoy shouldn't love. Love only brought disaster and frustration. A Potter, for Merlin's sake! He shrugged involuntarily.

He didn't have to mention Harry Potter, but he knew how Draco felt about the Boy-Who-Lived. He had been shocked when he heard about it but now he was prepared to forgive and forget about his son's lapse. Things like that happened. It had happened to him. Now all he had to do was to kill that awful love feeling from its very roots. That way Draco wouldn't have to suffer like he once did.

Lucius could almost hear Caesar inside his head: 'what are you doing, Luc? We promised we wouldn't do the same thing our father did to us. We promised each other, in the coldness of the dungeons, when our father left us there broken and bleeding, that if we had a son he would be free to do whatever he wanted.'

Then Lucius replied to himself: 'But Draco doesn't know what it's like to have your heart broken and destroyed. Draco will never have to know what hell really feels like. I'm not like my father. I never lay a finger on Draco. I'm doing this for him.' And then he heard his brother again: 'Liar! You're doing this for yourself because you're a bloody coward and because you want power. You want to be in charge of everything because you think that by being in control you won't be hurt again. That's bullshit, Luc, and you know it. Stop this! Let your son go.'

'Get out of my head, dammit!' his mind screamed.

Lucius took a breath and stared at his apprehensive son, who was sitting on the couch with his hands shaking and his shoulders down. Lucius felt pity for the boy. Draco didn't have any idea about the pain that life was.

"What's it going to be, Draco? Are you staying with me or are you leaving me? And be aware that if you leave, you will be disowned. You'll no longer be known as my son."

Draco stared at him with all the loathing inside his heart. He had just seen his mother locked up in one of the coldest and gloomiest cells of the dungeons like she was some sort of a criminal and he wanted nothing more than to strangle his father with his own bare hands. The bastard hadn't allowed Draco to talk to her and Narcissa didn't know that her son was there.

Draco's heart had broken into tiny little pieces when he spotted his mother lying on a rotten mattress on the dusty floor. How could he do that to her? She was such a delicate woman. What if she got pneumonia?

His father was very clear about what he wanted from Draco. He wanted Draco to join him and become a Death Eater. In exchange, he would let Narcissa go without telling the Dark Lord about her duplicity. Being with Lucius meant that he would have to leave Harry and he couldn't do that. He wasn't ready to do that. Draco wished he could just go to his room and bury himself into the blankets so he could cry his heart out. But he wouldn't cry. He wouldn't give his father the pleasure of seeing him scared or defeated.

"I hate you," he said out loud what he really felt for his father for the first time in his life.

Lucius sneered, although deep inside something broke, "I don't care, Draco. To be honest, I'm glad that you hate me. I don't want you to become a sissy. I didn't raise you to be weak! I raised you to seek power and to be ambitious. That was why you were conceived in the first place. That is the Malfoys' legacy!"

"Who said that? Theodore Malfoy, the Slicer?" Draco shouted, "Who was the first bastard who said that all Malfoys should be cold, self-restrained and evil? Who was the bloody son of a bitch who started all this hell? The first heartless asshole that cursed the rest of us and said we should never fall in love? Who was he?"

Lucius sniffed uncomfortably. He hated outbursts and he hated confrontations. He hated to be a slave of uncontrollable emotions. Emotions were a Gryffindor trait. He should always remain cold and balanced, but that was rather hard to achieve when your son was yelling at you. It was hard not to let your blood boil. Even so, he tried to restrain himself.

"I asked you a simple thing, Draco. Join me and together we will conquer the world. We'll have all the power we want! Don't be a fool by throwing away such an opportunity over a silly crush! Crushes die! Stick to what is real and you'll never get hurt," Lucius explained coldly. "Only a few people know about this, but Voldemort has a granddaughter."

"What?" Draco opened his eyes wide at the unexpected news. He instantly remembered the mysterious girl in his dream. The girl he had almost married. The girl Harry hated.

"You heard me. The Dark Lord has a granddaughter and I discovered that she is very fond of you. She would kill to have you. I think she already has," Lucius smirked at his son's priceless face of confusion. "Celeste's death, Draco, was expected. I know all about it. I know that you don't have anything to do with it, but you see, I had to make sure. I also didn't expect it to be so soon, but... Well... Sacrifices are supposed to be made for the cause. And the Dark Lord is pleased with his little girl. Celeste's father was devastated but what can we do?"

"Voldemort ordered Celeste's murder?" such a stupid question, Draco thought to himself. It was expected, indeed.

"Not exactly. I think The Favored was jealous of you. Celeste was also becoming useless ever since she failed with Harry Potter." Lucius got closer to Draco. "The Favored, Draco, is Voldemort's granddaughter. Isn't that amazing? And she likes you very much. She likes you, my son. Do you have any idea of what that means? It means that you can be Voldemort's successor! We can become masters of the world! Voldemort told me he saw potential in you and with the proper education you'll become his right arm. This is huge, Draco!" Lucius' eyes shone like two big diamonds. "This summer most of the new Death Eaters are going to receive lessons about the Dark Arts. I want you to join them. I also want you to receive the Mark."

Draco shook his head, disgusted about the whole thing, and turned his back to his father. "You don't care about what I want, do you? You only care for your stupid ambitions. You want power even if that means I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. But I wonder... What do you want power for? You won't have it. I'll have it, if I understand you correctly."

"Don't be ridiculous, Draco." Lucius' eyes flickered with anger. "We shall reign together, of course!"

"What if I betray you?" Draco pointed out coldly. "After all, that's what Malfoys do."

"Well, if you do, I shall be proud of you for behaving like a true Malfoy," Lucius sneered, "I like it better when you're insolent. I hate it when you become quiet and taciturn. Potter sure made you soft. You were nothing like that, Draco. It doesn't matter though. Harry Potter will be dead meat by the end of the year and you'll be the new Dark Lord."

"Don't talk about Harry!" shouted Draco, losing control of his emotions and turning around to face Lucius. He was suddenly very tired about hiding what he really felt or what he was. "You have no right!"

"Harry?" Lucius caught his wand and stared at his son with disgust. "Your Harry doesn't stand a chance against what is about to come! Voldemort will crush him like a bug. Potter is just lucky, but I sure as hell want to be there when his share of luck ends!"

"It's not luck! He's powerful, more powerful than you or anyone else thinks! I know that for sure because he fucked me and I felt all of his magic through me! I felt it and I enjoyed it! You have no idea how good it is!"

Lucius breathed hard and slapped Draco in the face. "Don't you ever talk like that again!"

Draco closed his eyes, winced in pain and bit his lower lip but didn't cry. If his eyes were open, he would see that his father looked horrified of his own behaviour. Lucius had never beaten him. He had never touched Draco at all. He gulped before his expression hardened again. To calm his guilty mind, he tried to convince himself that Draco deserved the slap for the disrespect.

"Why not? It's the truth. I love him," Draco confessed to Lucius shock. "I. Love. Him."

"Shut up! You know nothing about life or love. You're too young and foolish!"

"I'm too young to love but I'm not too young to be a killer? Is that what you're saying to me? Because if it is, than if doesn't make any sense! Why do I have to be a Malfoy? Why do I have to hate instead of love? Why can't you just let me be? I love Harry! I won't be any good for you or Voldemort because I belong to someone else already. Just let me go!"

"You're not a prisoner, Draco! You were never a prisoner! If you want to go, I won't hold you back!" Lucius said trying not to shout. "Just go and live happily ever after with your bloody disgusting lover! Go on and try to live with the fact that you'll be responsible for your mother's death," he threatened.

"You're a bloody coward son of a bitch! You know I won't leave my mother!"

"I wish you did."

They stared at each other trying to figure each other out.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Draco muttered, his eyes glowing with unshed tears.

Lucius suddenly felt very tired and sad but he didn't show. "You have no idea what hate really feels like, Draco. You've always had everything you wanted. I've never denied you anything. For Merlin's sake, I even bought the best brooms in the market for the whole Slytherin team because you were in it! My father... my father used to make me sweat for a simple request. I had to work very hard if I wanted something. And if I disobeyed him, he would lock me in one of those cells from our dungeon and leave me there to rot. Cruciatus was nothing compare to what he did to me on those occasions. Do you know what kept me alive? Hate. You think I treat you bad, Draco? You have no idea...!" Lucius voice failed and there was no way of knowing who was more shocked: he or Draco.

"Father...," Draco whispered.

"Don't. I'm not finished." Lucius dropped his wand on the desk. He thought about using it to force Draco to come to his senses but he decided not to use it as the memories of his past returned with full force. "When I was in my final year at Hogwarts, I thought about leaving everything. I didn't want to become a Death Eater although the idea was tempting me. But I didn't want to be like my father, so my first thought was to get out, to elope. Do you know who I turned to? This might shock you, so be prepared. I turned to James Perfect Potter for help." Indeed, Draco was more than shocked. He was aghast. "He told me he would help me but in the end he didn't care. He betrayed me, the bastard!" Lucius hands clenched and so did his heart.

Draco was too stunned to say anything so he just kept quiet.

"You see, Draco? My father, as harsh as he was with me, was right all along. Life is a bitch and love doesn't exist."

Draco gasped. Does that mean his father was once in love with... James Potter? His world was suddenly upside down.

"Don't stare at me like that!" Lucius roared, "I didn't tell you this so you could pity me!"

"I don't know what to say," Draco muttered.

"I just want you to make up your goddamned mind! If you think the Potter boy is worthy than stay with him. But let me tell you something, my dear son, James Potter was not to be trusted and Harry Potter is probably the same. You know what they say, like father, like son. You are like me, Draco. Don't let Harry Potter get you. You're better than him. Think about it." Lucius felt the need to get out of there as fast as he could before he collapsed in front of his son. But before he crossed to the door, he said, "I expect an answer from you by the end of the day."

As he left the room, Draco was the one to collapse on the floor with his face buried in his hands.

-----------------

At Hogwarts, Harry was dealing with his own issues. He had just heard from Dumbledore that he was Godric Gryffindor's heir and that was the real reason why Voldemort had been obsessed with the idea of murdering him and probably the reason why Harry had survived the killing curse. He was, indeed, a very powerful wizard. Gryffindor's blood was literally running through his veins. Sirius, who had been called in to give him moral support, stared at him with sympathy and held his hand.

"You're more powerful than you know, Harry, and this was the reason why I allowed Erin to teach you more about the Dark Arts," Dumbledore went on, "In order to increase those powers, you'll have to attend extra classes over the summer vacation. I hope this is not a problem to you."

"No, I don't mind. It's kind of cool, actually," Harry muttered distractedly. Hogwarts was his home anyway.

"Good. We need to test your powers."

If Draco had been here with him, he would have probably sneered and said something like, "So, Potter, you do have super powers after all. And you are more of a celebrity than you've thought." Draco... Harry's heart clinched. He was so worried about him.

"I hope the news hasn't shocked you, Harry."

No, Harry wasn't that shocked. Ever since the incident in the Chamber of Secrets he had been expecting something like that because of a particular sentence Dumbledore had said to him that day - that only a true Gryffindor could have pulled the Silver Sword of Godric Gryffindor out of the Sorting Hat. At the time he thought that any person who was in the Gryffindor House could have done it, but he had been so wrong. He was the only one who could have pulled that out, because he was Gryffindor's heir as much as Voldemort was Slytherin's.

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"Because I wanted you to be more mature when you heard about this. If Sirius hadn't been in Azkaban, he would have told you sooner. When we first talked about it after he was out, he disagreed with me in that matter. He thought you should have known ever since you were born that you belong to one of the finest wizarding families that has ever existed," Dumbledore explained, "Eventually, he agreed with me that it was better this way. We didn't want you to carry such a burden."

"We are sorry, Harry. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea but we wanted to protect you. Only a few people knew that James was Gryffindor's descendent because he also didn't like to talk about it much. In those days, to have the Gryffindor's blood in your veins was more of a curse than a blessing. Voldemort wanted nothing more than to kill the heir of Gryffindor because he was the only one who could actually defeat him," Sirius said, "And we know now that it was Wormtail who warned Voldemort about that, too. When I get my hands on that bastard he will be sorry for ever being born!"

"How are you feeling Harry?" Dumbledore asked quite gently.

"Honestly? I'm more worried about Draco. I mean, I realize that what you both told me is huge, but I can't think of anything else right now but Draco! I'm afraid of what Lucius will do to him. Can't we just go there and rescue him? Please?" Harry stared at them hopefully.

"Don't worry about that, Harry." Sirius gave him an encouraging smile but his eyes flickered with determination. "We'll rescue them. The Order is planning something to save them as we speak. I won't let Narcissa or Draco suffer in the hands of that monster!"

"I'm really sorry, Sirius. I promised you I would protect Draco but I couldn't," Harry said.

"Oh, Harry, it's not your fault." Sirius grasped Harry's hand again.

Dumbledore looked terribly sorry for not being able to keep Draco in the school. But there was a limit to what a Headmaster could do. His eyes showed concern for the Malfoy boy, who he had admired dearly ever since he had become a spy for the Order. Draco wasn't like his father and he had noticed this ever since the beginning. Lucius had been terrified of love and what it could do to him, but Draco was a brave young man who had fought against his fears and had successfully won Harry's heart. Dumbledore feared for the boy, but he hoped he was all right.

Dumbledore sighed. He had another difficult task ahead. This time, not only Harry would have the shock of his life but also Sirius. Dumbledore had received an owl post that stunned him, to say the least.

"Harry, I have something else to tell you, something totally unexpected. Something that caught me by surprise." Dumbledore took a letter in his hands and delivered it to Harry. "This arrived this morning. It's from an old student named Vivienne Grosford. The content of the letter concerns you, Harry, and I hope you can forgive her after you read it."

Harry caught the letter in his hands as if he it was a bomb ready to explode.

"Vivienne!" Sirius exclaimed, "She was Lily's best friend!"

"Indeed, she was," Dumbledore said, raising an eyebrow and staring at Harry.

"What does she say?" Sirius asked curiously. "She vanished after Lily and James died and no one ever saw her again. Remus said that he was hoping to find her but he had no idea where she was."

"She was hidden in a very distant island of the Pacific. And she was hidden for a reason. A very selfish reason I'm afraid," Dumbledore said in a sad tone of voice.

Meanwhile, Harry was reading the letter attentively. The woman named Vivienne wrote to Dumbledore that she was sorry for everything she had done and now that she was dying, she wanted to be forgiven. She excused herself by saying she acted so wrongly because she had been in love and she didn't know Harry was alive. The excuses went on and on until Harry read something that made him drop the letter and gasp.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Sirius asked urgently.

Harry couldn't say anything though. He was paralyzed and he was mumbling incoherently. Sirius picked up the letter from the floor and read it out loud until he got to the part where Vivienne, very cautiously, told Dumbledore that James Potter was alive and living with her. Sirius had the same reaction as Harry and he stopped breathing. He didn't know how he continued reading it till the end but he desperately needed to understand why Vivienne had taken James away without telling anyone that he wasn't dead.

"That woman was insane!" he finally shouted. "How could she do that?"

"We may never know, Sirius," Dumbledore said.

"But... She claimed that she did it all for love. What kind of love is that?"

"She didn't know that Harry was alive. And she thought she was doing James a favour."

"If I understood right, she cast a Memory charm on him!"

"Again, she thought she was helping him. She didn't want him to suffer. According to her, he was devastated when he found out that Lily and Harry were dead and he didn't want to live any longer. She erased some of his memories. I don't know how much though."

"You sound like you're defending her!" Sirius said, disgusted.

"I'm not!" Dumbledore objected. "I'm just trying to explain to you what happened. I don't support Vivienne's actions and to be honest, I'm quite astonished myself. But we all know that she was a very troubled girl and she loved James more than anything. If you want to know more about it, you'll have to ask her yourself. She only wrote it because she's dying and she wants someone to pick up James. She found out that Harry was alive a few weeks ago and she has been feeling devastated ever since."

"I still can't believe it! I have to see him! I'll only believe in all of this when I see him! I saw his body! He was dead!"

"It was an Illusion charm. You and the others were so disturbed that you didn't notice."

"Oh, my God. So many years... I felt so guilty... I thought my friend was dead because of me! Who was the body we buried then?" Sirius asked suddenly. "Oh, my God!"

"I don't know. We'll have to find out later. My concern now is Harry. Harry?" Dumbledore called him. Not once he had turned his eyes away from Harry. "How are you feeling, my dear boy?"

"My father... alive. My father is alive," Harry kept repeating as if it was a mantra, "I have a father."

Harry was in a state of shock. His heart was experiencing all kinds of different emotions at once. Rage for that stranger who had kept his father away from him all those years. Happiness because his father wasn't dead and soon he would be near Harry again. And fear because if he understood correctly, his father wouldn't recognize him. Damn that woman!

Harry only got out of his trance after he felt Sirius's arms gripping around him. He noticed that his godfather was crying and saying something to him, but he didn't understand a word of it. His eyes were lost somewhere else.

"Why?" he asked finally.

Dumbledore and Sirius stared at him in expectation.

"Why did he survive?"

"I'm guessing it's because of the same reason why you survived, Harry," Dumbledore said.

"So, he must have a scar like mine," Harry commented, tracing his scar with his fingers.

"Harry?" Sirius cupped Harry's face in his hands and noticed that Harry's eyes seemed cold and lifeless. "Are you ok?" Harry nodded, but Sirius knew he was lying. "Come on, Harry. You have every right to be upset! You have the right to hate her if you like. Just don't lock your feelings inside your heart because that won't do you any good. Let them out. You can cry, you know? There's nothing wrong with that. Cry, Harry. It's ok. I'm here."

Harry looked straight into Sirius's eyes and then he broke down in his arms. His father was alive.

----------------

Later that same day, Ron and Hermione found Harry in one of the Astronomy Tower's rooms. He was sitting by the window, his arms wrapped around his legs. He seemed terribly lost and Ron approached him very carefully. Harry looked like he was about to disintegrate at any moment.

"Harry?" Ron called him.

Harry didn't look up. He kept staring into space, lost in his own world.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said, kneeling near Harry and pulling him into a warm and tender embrace. "We're so sorry. Dumbledore just told us about... everything. Sirius is so worried about you. You just vanished."

"I needed to be alone," Harry muttered, laying his head on her shoulder.

Ron couldn't help feeling a pang of jealousy, but he quickly recovered his posture. He didn't have the right to be jealous of Harry when he looked so destroyed. His friend needed to feel loved more than anything and so he also knelt down near them and locked his arms around Harry.

Harry had promised himself he wouldn't cry anymore, so he didn't. But he kept his friends around him. He needed to feel warm because he was feeling so cold ever since Draco had been taken away from him. He needed Draco so much and something was telling him that Draco also needed him.

Harry sighed and leaned against the wall. "What's wrong with me? I should be feeling great and yet I'm feeling the exact opposite."

"You're in shock, Harry," Hermione said, stroking his back. "It's all right to be confused."

"Yeah, buddy. Besides, look at the bright side. At least no one told you that Snape is your real father! Can you imagine how that must feels like? Talk about shock! Being Snape's son is probably the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone!"

Harry smiled. "I guess you're right."

"Ron!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you said that!"

"What?" Ron shrugged. "I just wanted to cheer Harry up!"

"That wasn't nice!"

"So?"

"It's all right, Hermione," Harry said, still smiling. "Ron is right." Harry winked at him and Ron smiled back at him. "I'm just... lost. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. My father is alive! Do you have any idea of what that means? I still don't believe it. And at the same time, I can't stop thinking about Draco and how much I want him to be here. What should I do? I'm so lost."

"You should get some sleep, Harry. We can think about what to do tomorrow," Hermione said rationally.

"I don't know if I can sleep. Not after everything. How is Sirius?"

"He's devastated," Ron said and Hermione pinched him. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"We don't want to worry Harry, remember?" she said between his teeth.

"That's ok, Herm. Poor Sirius. All this time he could have been free instead of locked up in Azkaban. My father would have testified in his favour and Pettigrew would have been the one arrested. And I would have a father. Someone that actually loved me. I wouldn't have had to live with the Dursleys."

"Oh, don't say that Harry. We love you! Draco loves you. Besides, you have a father."

"In theory, yes. But what is it going to be like when he arrives? He doesn't remember me. That crazy woman cast a Memory charm on him! Dumbledore doesn't even know what my father remembers. Tell me, Herm; is the contra-spell difficult?"

Hermione looked thoughtful. "It depends. If she erased most of his memories, than yes, it'll be difficult. For these cases a potion works better than a contra-spell because it won't cause as much damage to the brain. I think this potion takes at least a month to be ready."

"A potion?" Ron frowned. "That means that we'll have to ask Snape's help."

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Hermione said, "But he will help."

"Why? He always hated my dad!" Harry pointed out.

"He's not a child anymore! I'm sure he can put the past behind to help your father. Besides, it will be the perfect occasion for him to pay the debt he owes him. Not to mention that he won't say no to Dumbledore."

"Hermione is right, Harry."

"Yeah, I guess. Before I ran out of Dumbledore's office, he told me that Remus was called to go after my dad. Sirius wants to go as well, but he's torn between going after Narcissa and after my dad. I know exactly how he feels, except that no one will let me go to either of those places. Maybe I should take it a step at a time," Harry said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" Ron and Herm said at the same time.

"I think I need to have a word with Seamus."

"About what?" Ron asked, puzzled.

"About Zabini."

"What!?" Herm and Ron asked.

"Draco always told me Zabini was harmless. Well, he's not, we know that, but somehow, in a weird sense, Draco trusts him. Besides, he told me Zabini despises Voldemort as much as I do. The short version is that Zabini is a Slytherin but he's not a Death Eater. And he likes Draco - again, in a weird way. If I ask him, I think he'll help me. He must know where the Malfoy Manor is because Draco said that he was there once. Then we can go after Draco."

"I don't know, Harry," Hermione said with distrust. "I don't like Zabini."

"Neither do I but he's our only hope."

"What about your father, Harry?"

Harry sighed and passed his hands across his hair. "Do you want me to be honest with you, Herm? I never had a father and I still don't feel like I have one. Maybe that will change when he's back. It's probably the shock speaking but right now I think Draco is in more danger than my father. Dumbledore is taking care of that and I trust Dumbledore. The one I'm worried about is Draco. God knows what Lucius is doing to him!"

"If you want to go after the prick, then I'll go with you," Ron assured.

"Thanks, Ron."

"I'll go, too. I mean, I'm the brain of this group," Hermione said with her know-it-all tone of voice. "Besides, we'd always lived the adventures together. I won't be left out of this!"

Harry grinned. "That's it then. I'll go find Seamus and you two stay alert."

Before they left, Harry turned to give their friends a big hug.

"Thanks guys!"

------------------

Blaise was in the Slytherin Common Room thinking about everything that was going on in the school when he received an owl post. To his surprise, it was from Seamus. His heart skipped a beat. He didn't expect to hear from Seamus so soon. He smirked, thinking that Seamus couldn't resist staying away from him. The Hufflepuff boy must have been terrible in bed.

He quickly got ready to meet with Seamus, putting on his best clothes and cloak, an expensive perfume that he knew Seamus liked, and headed for the Astronomy Tower, room number 7. Seamus was already there when he arrived.

"Finnegan," Blaise sneered, "Miss me?"

Seamus looked at him with distaste. "In your dreams, Zabini."

Blaise frowned. He wasn't expecting to find his lover so defensive towards him. He moved closer to Seamus, stopping only a few inches away. Seamus' breathe involuntarily accelerated. Blaise smiled. Seamus wasn't immune to him, in spite of what he wanted Blaise to believe.

"I think that in your dreams you missed me, too," Blaise provoked, leaning in to kiss Seamus very softly.

For a moment, Seamus let himself go. Blaise's kiss caught him totally unawares. The kiss shared between them was gentle and romantic and Seamus felt himself melting away. Never had he received such a kiss from Blaise. This was why Seamus did what he shouldn't. He deepened the kiss, pulling the Slytherin closer and allowing him to caress his body.

"I knew you would come back to me," Blaise muttered against his mouth. "No Hufflepuff is better than me."

That did it. Seamus instantly pulled away. Blaise stared at him confused.

"I didn't come here for this," Seamus explained. "I told you it was over and I meant it."

For a second, some indistinct emotion crossed Blaise's eyes.

"What's your game?" Blaise asked coldly.

"It's not a game. I'm here to ask you something in behalf of Harry."

Blaise made a face. "Oh, come on. Be serious!"

"I am being serious!"

They kept silent for a moment. Blaise looked lost in his own thoughts. He didn't know if he should laugh or simply ignore Seamus and go away. But he couldn't do any of those things because he wanted to spend the night with Seamus. Damn his hormones!

"What does four-eyes want?" he asked curiously.

"He thinks you know the location of the Malfoy Manor and that you could lead him there."

"He's crazy if he thinks I'll help him."

"Yeah, that was what I told him. But he insisted and I promised that I would try to convince you. You like Draco, right? I mean, you've been obsessed with him for so long." Seamus couldn't help feeling jealous and Blaise noticed it. "You were always following him around and trying to get into his pants."

Blaise shrugged. "What's your point?"

"My point is that you'll help Harry because then you'll be helping Draco."

"I'm a Slytherin, Finnegan. I don't care about anyone but myself. Do you really think I'll risk getting killed by Lucius Malfoy only to save Potter's boyfriend? No way. Lucius is not the kind of guy you mess with. No, I won't help Potter and you shouldn't help him either. I mean, think about it. Now that Draco is away, you can have Potter all to yourself."

"That's horrible! I could never think like that!"

"No? Are you sure? Think, Finnegan. You always had a thing for Potter. You couldn't stop thinking about him when you were with me. I bet you even thought about him when we were having sex," the tone of jealousy and hurt was very clear in Blaise's voice. "God, I hate you."

"Blaise, what..." Seamus was surprised by the comment. "I..."

"Don't call me that, Finnegan."

"Are you jealous of Harry?"

"Of course not!"

"But... you just said... And I never thought about Harry when I was with you... and..."

"I don't bloody care. So long, Finnegan." Blaise turned around to leave but Seamus caught him by the sleeve. "Take your filth hands off of me!" he said between his teeth.

"Please, help Harry."

"No!"

"I'll do anything you want," Seamus pleaded.

Blaise's eyes flickered. "Anything?"

Seamus gulped. "Yes."

"You must like him a lot," Blaise said with disgust. Seamus didn't respond. "Ok, I'll do it."

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. You don't know what I want in exchange for this little...favour." Blaise pulled Seamus closer. "Who knows? Maybe the price is too high, even for you," he said, smirking.

"What do you want?" Seamus asked with suspicion.

Blaise stared at him smirking and Seamus shivered. He didn't like that look. It was the kind of look that asked you to give up on your soul and Seamus wasn't ready to do that. He had lost his heart to Blaise once. He didn't want to lose it again. What was he saying? His heart had always belonged to Blaise.

"I want us to go out on a date," Blaise said, catching Seamus totally by surprise.

"That's it? A date? An innocent date?" Blaise nodded and Seamus asked himself if he was ill and delirious. "We never had a date. Why now?"

"Don't ask questions because I won't answer them."

"But it doesn't make sense! What's the catch?"

"There's no catch," Blaise said, staring at Seamus intently.

"Blaise..."

"Don't call me that, I told you already!"

"I'm sure there's a catch. I bet you want us to have sex afterwards."

"No, Finnegan. All I want is for us to go out, talk..."

"Talk?"

"Yeah, talk! I can do that, you know?" Blaise answered aggressively.

"I never knew."

"There's no need to be sarcastic."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I never expected you to ask this."

"Well, sex is not part of the deal but if you want to have sex later, who am I to oppose?"

Seamus couldn't help but smile. Blaise wanted a date. A date! Maybe it wasn't too late for them. It was possible that Zabini really liked him, even though he denied it. But that - as Dean had said to him once - was the Slytherin way. Or maybe he was just being a romantic fool. Either way, he closed the distance between them and kissed Blaise slightly.

"Was that a yes?" Blaise asked looking dazzled.

Seamus nodded.

"Good." Blaise leaned in to kiss Seamus again and it lasted a little longer than the one before. They sighed without noticing. "Ok, Finnegan. I can't believe I'm doing this. Let's go help Scar Head."

-------------------

Lucius vaguely remembered what it was like to be happy. He had felt satisfaction many times before, but true happiness, well... that was another story. Perhaps happiness had been a good fly around the pitch that one of his Ancestors had built many decades before. Or perhaps it had been the sensation of uncertainty that he had felt every time a certain raven-haired boy passed by him every day on the way to Potions class and slightly smiled at him. People didn't usually smile at him, but that insolent boy had dared to grin! He had waited for that particular moment eagerly. And when it happened, it was the greatest feeling in the world.

But no, he was wrong. Uncertainty wasn't happiness. Uncertainty was hell and the other boy had known it all along. James Potter had known how Lucius had felt for him and he'd enjoyed playing with him.

Lucius closed his eyes and sighed, his mind drifting away to the past.

***Lucius' flashback***

Lucius had been flying around Hogwarts' grounds, enjoying dearly the sensation of freedom that only flying could give someone, when James Potter had come into his sight, zooming by on his broom and almost knocking Lucius off of his own broom.

The feeling of outrage instantly fell upon him and he cursed James silently. Why did the prick have to ruin his every moment? Every day Lucius had to put up with being beaten by James in grades or in a match of Quidditch. Gee, James could beat Lucius by only existing.

Lucius hated him with all his might. But deep down inside, he couldn't help being in love with the four-eyes.

'Malfoy,' he heard James calling him.

'Potter,' was the retort.

'What are you doing here so late at night?' asked James hovering in front of him.

Lucius sneered, 'I thought you were clever, Potter. All the teachers suck up to you every day. But let me give you a hint I'm hovering on my broom, a few feet above the ground... Gee! That's a tough mystery! Think you can handle it?'

James smiled. Lucius hated when he did that. It didn't matter how many times he had provoked him, James Potter never seemed to lose his damned self-control. Everything to him was amusing. Damn, he had such a cute smile.

'Why are you always so defensive?' came the sudden question.

'Because that way I will never get caught unprepared,' Lucius said without thinking. 'If a so called friend betrays me, I won't be so surprised. You should stick to that. You trust people so willingly. One day that will be your down fall.'

'I don't believe that.'

'Wait and see,' Lucius said as if he was predicting the future. 'Your friends are scum. One doesn't have any money; the other is a common outlaw and let's not forget the ridiculous and pitiless Pettigrew, who can easily be bought. Honestly, Potter, you are screwed.'

'You said I trust people willingly. That's not true,' James pointed out. 'I don't trust you.'

'You're not so stupid then,' Lucius said, smirking. 'Maybe you're not a hopeless case.'

'Maybe. Maybe not,' he said in a mysterious tone of voice.

Lucius stared at him, allowing his defences to go down for a while. His grey eyes met the blue ones and they got lost in each other, not daring to look away. Lucius thought he could do anything just by the strength of those eyes. He felt as if he could even fight his father and send his heritage to hell. But James, who looked disturbed about something - broke the eye contact abruptly and left Lucius to deal with a very cold place - his own loneliness.

He noticed that there was something wrong with James because he looked suddenly lost and afraid. He never thought James Potter was capable of feeling scared.

'What's wrong?' Lucius had the courage to ask.

'Nothing.' James shook his head and didn't look at him.

'You're lying,' Lucius stated.

'Let's race,' James said suddenly.

Lucius stared at him, trying to figure him out but unable to do it. He came to his senses. He shouldn't be here talking to James Potter. His father would kill him if he knew. James was the enemy. How many times he had heard that? Still, he couldn't help the adrenaline rushing through his body as he thought about racing with him. James was the best flyer he had ever seen.

'As you wish.' Lucius shrugged, trying to pull off the indifferent Slytherin act and knowing he was failing miserably. 'On the count of three?' he asked, getting ready.

'Yes. One - two...'

James didn't finish. He zoomed away from a bewildered Lucius like a rocket.

'You cheating bastard!' Lucius shouted through the sky, zooming behind him.

Soon, their brooms stayed side by side. Lucius noticed that James had a mischievous look on his face and he felt something burning inside of him. Without realizing, he smiled, too. James cut his front and then Lucius did the same to him. They teased each other for a long time until their brooms collided awkwardly and they felt on the ground on top of each other.

Lucius moaned in pain. 'I'm hurt. It's your entire damn fault, Potter!' James didn't answer. 'Potter? Potter!' Lucius shook the boy under him carefully. 'Shit. Tell me you're all right.'

No answered again and Lucius panicked.

'Potter! James!'

'James?' James opened his eyes immediately and grinned. 'So, all I have to do to make you call me by my first name is to pretend I'm seriously injured?'

Lucius clutched his hands and then gripped James' robe. 'You're a fucking son of a bitch! I was actually worried but not for the reason you think! If someone caught us like this they would probably think I killed you! Don't think I care about you, 'cause I don't!'

'I wasn't thinking about anything, Lucius,' James provoked.

'God, I hate you!' Lucius yelled before attacking James.

They rolled on the ground for a while, Lucius trying to punch him and James trying to calm him down. Finally, gasping for breath, they stopped; James on top of Lucius, pinning his hands on the grass, mouths only inches apart. Lucius' heart stopped; James' heart started beating faster. Lucius felt dizzy as James came closer, almost brushing their lips together. Was he feeling James' hardness against his legs? Instinctively, he touched his lips against James'.

He didn't know exactly how it happened, but suddenly James pulled away and stared at Lucius like he was seeing him for the first time in his life.

'I... I...,' James stuttered. 'I have to go.' And he ran away from Lucius.

***End of Flashback***

"Father?" Draco called.

"What?" Lucius asked tiredly without opening his eyes.

"I made a decision."

"And?"

A long pause and then the resolution.

"You leave Harry and my mother alone and I'll become a Death Eater."

Lucius' smile was very bitter. Sometimes victory tasted like that.