The Road Home

Chap. 10 - DOG AND BUTTERFLY

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It was the point of no return for Narcissa when she saw her son being carried unconscious to his bedroom by Lucius and he didn't want to say a word about what had happened. If she wasn't so distressed with the situation she would have noticed a change inside the gloom of his eyes, but all she could care about at the moment was her son.

"What happened?" she asked for the third time, not giving a damn if Lucius slapped her.

"Not now, Narcissa. I need to call someone to have a look at him. Stay out of my way!"

He passed by her hurriedly, almost knocking her down to the floor. He carefully placed the inert body of Draco against the silk sheets of his bed and got out of the room shouting for the house-elves. Narcissa quickly came closer to Draco and touched his forehead, feeling his temperature. He was deadly cold. The floor seemed to disappear under her feet and a house-elf named Gelmina held her before she could faint.

"I told you to be out of the way, stupid woman! If you can't help him, then leave!" Lucius said in a harsh tone of voice.

At a distance, she saw three of the most renowned wizard doctors examining Draco, house-elves entering the room from time to time and Lucius walking back and forth with a worried expression. She'd been in some kind of a trance for so long that she barely noticed the doctors exiting the room. All her mind registered were the words 'Cruciatus' and 'he'll wake up when he's rested. Or not.'

Lucius got near Draco and reached out his hand to touch him. He didn't have time to finish the movement because Narcissa quickly grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"Don't touch him. Don't you - ever - touch - my - son - again." she said, emphasizing the words.

"You don't understand."

"I don't have to. You hurt my son, Lucius. I'll never forgive you for this."

"I didn't hurt him! It was Voldemort!"

"Then it is your fault, you bastard son of a bitch! The moment you let that monster get near my son you hurt him! God, he cast Cruciatus on him! How could you let him do it? How can you live with yourself?"

 "Well, it's your bloody son's fault! The curse was meant for me, not him! If he wasn't stupid enough to get in front of me this wouldn't have happened!"

"You're such a repulsive and detestable man." she said with contempt. "I wish Voldemort killed you." She spit in his face.

He slapped her. She shot a murderous look at his direction and he looked away, not able to confront her. He was tired and confused about all that had happened. Nobody ever did for him what Draco had done. He thought his son hated him but apparently he was mistaken, otherwise Draco wouldn't have stepped in front of him the way he did.

His son had saved him. It took a while for his mind - but most of all for his dead soul - to process the information. But when he finally realized the magnitude of what Draco did, it was too late.

The doctors said Draco would be fine but they also said there was the remote possibility of a coma. Hearing this had shattered something inside him. Something he thought he'd lost forever. The ability to feel and to love. His heart.

He felt tears ready to fall. He couldn't remember the last time he cried. The sensation was weird and unique and the unshed tears were burning his eyes. He had to get out of there before Narcissa could see the way he was falling apart. He turned around to leave.

"You better pray for him to get better, Lucius." she said when he was close to the door.

"Don't threaten me, Narcissa." he warned her.

"I noticed the bracelet he is wearing. It has the Dark Mark stamped on it. I'm not as stupid as you think, Lucius. I remember when you came back to Hogwarts wearing that! It's the first step to become a disgusting Death Eater."

"Yes, dear wife, you're absolutely right. My son will be a Death Eater just like me. And you should be more careful with your opinions, my darling. Don't you know the walls have ears? If I were you, I would be very cautious in the future. Otherwise someone might think you are a traitor."

"As soon as he wakes up, I'll leave you and Draco will come with me."

He laughed cruelly. "Don't be stupid, Narcissa. Were would you go? Straight to the arms of your long lost lover? I don't think he would be happy to see you after all these years."

"Go to hell you piece of shit!"

"A real lady should never talk in such a bad manner, my dear. Please, let me know if Draco gets better."

He left the room and Narcissa held the urge to throw something at the door.

She spent hours and hours beside Draco's bed attending every breath he took or movement he made. To pass the time, she walked inside his room paying attention to each detail of his bedroom. She never noticed before how cold and neuter his bedroom was. It didn't have any pictures or any personal touch. It was so empty and sterile. That was the proof of how lonely he was.

There was a book on his bedside table called 'Wuthering Heights', by an author she didn't know - Emily Brontë. Puzzled, she picked it up and something fell on the floor. She looked down and lifted up a photograph. It was a picture of a boy with raven hair and vivid green eyes that looked rather embarrassed. It was sweet the way he seemed to smile shyly. His flushed cheeks gave him an innocent look that made him adorable. On the back of the picture there was a name - Colin Creevey. But she knew that that wasn't the boy's name because the messy black hair, the lovely smile and the naïve look were identical to someone she met a long time ago - James Potter. The boy in the picture was his son, the famous Harry Potter.Â

 She wondered why Draco had a photograph of his well-known rival.

She heard a soft movement coming from Draco's bed. She turned around to see if he had woken up but he still had his eyes fully closed. He was muttering something and his breath suddenly became accelerated. What she heard made her blood run cold in her veins.

She came near the bed to listen to what he was saying properly. Maybe she misinterpreted.

"Harry." she heard her son whispering softly, his breathing calming down.

For the second time of the day she had the shock of her life.

She looked at Harry's picture and then back at her son. She thought about his words: 'There's someone I need to protect. Someone I like.' Was that someone Harry Potter? Was Draco in love with another boy?

She shook her head in disbelief. She was probably wrong. Her son wasn't gay. There had to be a perfect explanation for the fact that he kept a photograph of Harry with him. As for the name whispered so tenderly while he was sleeping, well... that was probably nothing.

Then again, Draco always seemed so obsessed with Harry Potter. Eight out of ten words he spoke had something to do with the raven-haired boy. 'Potter is so clumsy' or 'I don't see why everybody thinks he is so special. There's nothing special about him. Just because he has that ugly scar on his face he thinks he deserves special treatments. The stupid four-eyes' was all she heard when he came home for the holidays. Perhaps all that hate had been a disguise against what he really felt. She sighed.

"Harry." she heard him muttering again.

She leant over and caressed his hair kindly. If Draco was in love with Harry Potter for real, it would be a huge problem. Lucius, for example, was the problem number one. She swallowed hard just thinking of what he might do if he ever found out. Voldemort was the problem number two and the most dangerous of all.

Narcissa had to do something to protect Draco. Maybe his love for Harry was the reason why someone tried to kill him at Hogwarts. In Hogwarts he was exposed to a grave danger. She had to talk to someone to prevent anything bad from happening to her son.

It was time to talk to Dumbledore and to release a secret she had kept to herself all these years.

Draco opened his eyes as if he had felt the change in his mother's state of mind.

"Mum?" he muttered weakly. "Is that you?"

"Yes, honey. It's me." She held his hand.

"Where is Father? Is he all right?"

Her anger rose. Even injured, Draco still had consideration for the bastard he called 'father'.

"He's fine, Draco. I'm worried about you, not him. He is a grown man."

"Do you know what happened?"

She nodded with a displeased face. "The bastard let Voldemort hurt you."

"No. It wasn't his fault. I was the one that-"

"He is your father, Draco." she interrupted him. "It's his duty to protect you."

"There was nothing he could do."

"Don't make excuses for his immoral behavior."

"But-"

"Please, honey, just rest. We can talk about this later."

He nodded and shut his eyes again, falling asleep right afterwards. Narcissa leant against the armchair and closed her eyes as well. Her last thought before she lost herself into the land of dreams was: 'So help us Merlin.'

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Narcissa apparated in Hogsmeade at exactly nine in the morning and took about half an hour to get to Hogwarts. During the walk, she noticed a familiar dog following her all the way. Instead of feeling annoyed by it, she rather enjoyed his company. The dog gave her a weird sense of safety. It was as if he was there only to defend her.

Finally, she entered Hogwarts secretively thanks to Hagrid's help. Dumbledore received her with a big grin on his lips and a cup of ice lemon tea.

"Mrs. Malfoy, it's lovely to see you." he said, shaking her hand.

"Thanks for receiving me, Headmaster."

"It's a pleasure to have you here. I hope you didn't have any trouble getting here."

"No, not at all. Actually, a very large dog accompanied me. It was rather nice."

"I see." Dumbledore shot her one of his famous looks and she felt like a child again. "Well, please sit down and tell me what is bothering you."

She told him everything. More than she should in fact. Now Dumbledore knew she was the one that had being spying for him inside Voldemort's grounds; that she was the one called Butterfly. She also told him about Draco and the feelings that she thought he had for Harry. But most important of all, she told him something she never dared to let anyone know. And in the moment she let the secret out, she heard something heavy falling on the floor behind the wall.

The black dog got out of his hiding place and transformed himself into Sirius Black.

"What did you just say?" he said with a throaty voice.

She was too shocked to say anything.

"Answer me, dammit!" he shouted, gripping her arm.

"Sirius," said Dumbledore. "Calm down and let go of her."

He obeyed against his will. Narcissa, who had just recovered her forces, slapped his face with all her might.

"How dare you!" she yelled. "How dare you follow me like you didn't know me?"

"No, no, no, darling. You are the one who need to explain two or three things for me. Like this nonsense you just said about Draco being my son!"

She felt her body tremble all over and she crumbled into the armchair.

"I said he might be your son. I didn't say I was sure."

"God, woman, you are so-"

"Sirius, please. Get a grip on yourself." Dumbledore said keeping his voice as calm as ever.

"I'm sorry, Headmaster, but this is just a little too much for me right now."

"I think there's someone needing my attention at the moment. I'll leave the two of you alone. Please, I trust you won't kill each other!" Dumbledore said before leaving the room.

They sat at opposite sides, staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours.

"So?" he asked, trying to control his anger. "What else did you hide from me?"

"Oh, please." she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Honestly, did you really expect me to say something to you about Draco? When you had just won a trip to Azkaban?"

"Ha, ha, ha." he gave a forged laughter. "I forgot your wonderful sense of humor."

"You didn't used to be cynical." she commented.

"Well, that's what the trip to Azkaban did to me."

"I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, I never believed you were guilty."

"Really? Somehow I can't believe you."

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to pretend an indifference she didn't feel.

"Cut the bullshit, Narcissa and let's go straight to the point. Is Draco my son?"

"I don't know. There's a possibility though. I mean, you and I... slept together while I was married and a few months later I found out I was pregnant. I always hoped-"

"You're not sure then. That's great. That's just great! You realize he has Lucius written all over his face."

"You saw Draco? When? How?"

"At Diagon Alley. Honestly, does it matter?"

"Yes, it surely does. If you saw him, then you know he also looks a lot like me. Sometimes I think he behaves just like you. He's stubborn and self-centered and-"

"Lucius is also stubborn and self-centered." he cut her off.

"I know. But sometimes I think he reminds me so much of you."

"God, Narcissa. I can't believe you hid this all these years. I wish I had known. How can I be sure that this is not a game? Maybe Malfoy sent you here to spy on us. Maybe you'll turn against us at the first opportunity you have."

"I wouldn't do such a thing. And I would never use my son like that. I love him too much. The reason I came here was because of him. I think he's in danger. I think someone knows about..."

"His love for Harry." he finished for her. She looked at him stunned. "I heard every word you said to Dumbledore. Your son is not only a Death Eater, but he's also a faggot."

"Don't you dare, Black!" She stood up ready to strike him again. "I don't expect you to be nice to me, but don't you ever talk about my son in this disrespectful tone of voice. Whether he is gay or not it is something that doesn't concern you. I love him the way he is even if he likes your despicable godson and-"

"Hey! Don't talk about my godson like that!" Sirius rose from the armchair and got near her. "Harry is a great boy! He is sweet and kind and he cares for other people's feelings. On the other hand, your son is nothing but a spoiled prick for all I know. He did nothing but transform Harry's life into a living hell."

"You didn't like James in the beginning." she pointed out.

"That was different."

"Maybe you were in love with him."

"What!? Don't talk nonsense! I was never in love with James. For Merlin's sake!" He grabbed her by the elbows and brought her closer to his body. "You know, thinking about it now, I actually wish I was in love with James. It would be so much easier to deal with it than to deal with the fact that I was in love with you."

He kissed her, taking her totally by surprise. He never kissed her with that kind of urgency before. He held her so tightly she thought he would dislocate her spine, but she kissed him back with the same need and degree of exigency.

For Sirius, it was the proof that his heart was still very much alive since he could feel every beat of it. It was also the proof that his feelings for Narcissa were still the same as ever. But before he could explore inside her mouth the way he wanted - and needed - she stepped back.

 "Why did you do that?" she asked, gasping for breath.

"Why? Come on, Sissy, I'm sure by now that you know all about men and sex. I've been in jail for too long, you know?" he joked.

"Don't call me Sissy."

"Why not? I used to call you that in the past and you used to like it. A lot."

"Well, that was the past. And you just insulted my son!" She crossed her arms, covering her shaking hands.

"You insulted my godson!"

"Only because you insulted Draco first."

"Oh, please! That is so childish!"

"Whatever, Black." she emphasized his name with disdain.

He laughed hard. "God, I missed you so much." he let slip.

"Really?" she asked in a whisper.

"Well," he tried to camouflage his real feelings a little too late. "Sort of. But that's not the issue here. The issue is Draco and the fact that he can be my son. How is he?"

"He is fine now. Look, I'm only here so someone can protect him. If only you could protect him the way I know you've been protecting Harry..."

"Don't worry about that. Of course I'll keep an eye on him. Although, I must warn you, for all I heard, I think Draco and Harry have a tremendous attraction for danger like I never saw before."

"I remember a group back in the old days that had the same attraction." she provoked him.

"That was different."

"Oh, yes, it really was different. You, Remus, James and Peter were even worse."

They kept silent for a moment in memory of those unworried days.

"How is Pettigrew? Very injured I hope." Sirius asked retaining his anger.

"You should know, since you bit him last time in one of the Order of Phoenix's bursts."

"You know about that." he said, raising an eyebrow.Â

"Of course I know. I'm Butterfly, remember? Weren't you listening behind the door?"

"Yes, I was. I hope you realize what you are doing. Spying for us..."

"Oh, please." she rolled her eyes, remembering the speech she gave to Draco about that. "I'm a grown woman; I know how to take care of myself. My only concern right now is my son's safety. Will you help me with that?"

 "Of course I will. If he is my son..."

"But I'm not sure and-"

"I'll take care of him just like I've been taking care of Harry."

"Thanks. I have to go now. Please, don't tell Draco about any of this."

"He has the right to know the truth."

"Yes, I know that. But give me some time. I'm the one that need to tell him."

"Ok. He doesn't know me anyway."

She wrapped herself in a black cloak and covered her face with the hood. He prevented her from leaving by holding her gloved hands.

"One day you and I will have to sit down and talk for a long, long time."

"I know. I just hope we are alive till then." she joked.

"Don't say that. And please be careful, Sissy."

He removed a lock of the blond hair that was covering her eyes. She nodded, touching his face gently before leaving the room in a hurry.

A few minutes later, Harry walked in and looked at Sirius with a blank expression. He was speechless. Harry had been with Sirius when Narcissa had entered to talk to Dumbledore and he heard every word of the conversation. He was stupefied.

"I'm as surprise as you are, Harry. So, please don't ask any questions."

Harry frowned. The revelation about Draco being Sirius son was a shock indeed, but not as much as the way Sirius talked about him when he found out that Draco liked Harry.

"Do you have a problem about Draco being gay?" Harry asked seriously.

It could be an innocent question, chosen by curiosity only. But Sirius knew, just by looking at his defensive posture, that it was much more than that. His answer could cost their entire relationship, whether he liked it or not. Sirius remembered someone asking him the same thing once, only the name had been different. Instead of Draco, it'd been a Ravenclaw boy named Kyle.

Sirius stared at him intensively. "Are you trying to say that you like him as well, Harry?"

"Yes." Harry gulped.

"Are you gay?"

"Yes. Well, I'm not sure. I like girls, too." Harry bit his lower lip. "But I like Draco and... As a matter of fact, I like him more than I ever liked any girl, so..."

"Today is a day full of surprises." Sirius passed his hand through his hair. "You see, I had the impression that you loathed Draco. I also had the impression I hated Narcissa as well. And in some ways I still do."

"Then you know how I feel." Harry said, his eyes glowing with wisdom.

Sirius smiled. "Indeed, I know. Sit down, Harry. I need to tell you something."

Harry sat near Sirius.

"Where is Dumbledore?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, I don't know. He talked to me a little bit then he said something about Erin and he just left."

"Right. Erin has this kind of effect on people." he grinned. "Listen, Harry, I'm not sure if I like the idea of you and Draco together because I don't know him and I don't know if he's the right guy for you. All I know is that you're the best thing that could happen to him and I hope he realizes that, too. What I need to tell you is that I don't have a problem about you being gay, because my best friend is gay, too."

"Who?" Harry asked, stunned.

"What do you mean, who? Remus, of course!"

"Oh. He is?" Harry opened his eyes wildly.

"Yes."

"And you don't have a problem with that?"

"No, I don't. The reason I said that about Draco was just to pinch Narcissa."

Harry shook his head in disapproval. "He might be your son."

"Yes, I know. But he may not be either. He looks too much like Lucius. Then again, he is a Malfoy by both sides. Narcissa and Lucius are cousins. This could explain Draco's features by itself. They're so bloody obsessed with that pure blood crap they even marry among themselves. If I start thinking better, Draco looks a lot like Narcissa's father as well."

"But then Draco could be your son."

"Maybe." he looked thoughtful. "I don't want to put all my cards at the table, Harry. I don't want to create an expectation about it just to be crushed later. You know that with all the Order of Phoenix business I won't be around this month, Harry. At least not in the way I want to. Can I ask you to keep an eye on Draco? Make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid. I heard Narcissa saying that he's also spying for us. Just... take care of him."

"You don't even have to ask, Sirius. I think he needs someone to be there for him. He's not as tough as he wants us to think he is. And I... love him." it was the first time Harry said that aloud.

"Gee, Harry! I didn't think it was so serious! I hope you don't get hurt."

"I guess that is inevitable."

"What? Being hurt?" Harry nodded. "Well, Harry, since I'm older I have to tell you another thing quite essential."

"What is it?"

"That love, my dear godson, - and pay attention to this - Love sucks!"Â

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"Where were you?" Lucius said as he saw Narcissa entering the Manor.

She froze on the spot.

"I went shopping." she said, trying to pass by him unsuccessfully.

He griped her arm and faced her. "I don't see any packages."

"That's because there was nothing interesting to buy."

"Don't play with me, Narcissa. This is a game you can't win. You know I don't like that you go out alone. You definitely won't like what I'll do to you next time you leave without telling me."

He clutched her arms again almost breaking her bones. She let out a moan of pain.

"Let go of her." said a drawling but harsh voice behind Lucius.

Lucius turned around and shot a disagreeable glance at his son.

"Or what?"

Draco didn't expect to face the kind of challenge that those simple words contained.

"Or I'll have to fight you." said Draco, trying to prevent his hands from trembling.

Lucius looked at his pathetic wife and then back to his weakened son. Draco was as blanched as cellophane and his hands were gripping the banister of the stair with all his might to prevent him from stumbling on the ground. He felt his heart clutch involuntarily and he couldn't help feeling proud. Even injured his son still kept the facade of roughness, just as a Malfoy would do it.

Because of that newborn respect he drew back.

When Lucius was finally gone, Draco felt his body jellying. He would have collapsed if his mother didn't have been quick to steady him.

"Honey, you should be in bed. You're not strong enough yet." she said with a worried tone of voice. "Gelmina!" she called for the house-elf.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

The house-elf entered the room with light and quick steps and heard Narcissa asking her to help her carry Draco to his room and exchange his sheets for new ones. When Gelmina was done, Narcissa made Draco lie down on the bed and ran her fingers through his soft hair.

Draco seemed touched by this but also annoyed. He wasn't used to that kind of attention. It was just too weird. He wished he could be alone with his thoughts. He looked at his bedside table searching for the only thing that used to calm him down lately and let out a yelp.

"What's wrong?" asked Narcissa.

"My book. Where is it?"

He tried to get off the bed but Narcissa stopped him. "Lie down, Draco. It's only a book."

 "No, you don't understand. I need to find that book!" he felt his nerves wrecking. "I mean, it's a muggle book and I don't think father will be very pleased if he saw it and-"

"Relax, Draco. The book is in a safer place."

"Did you see it?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I was the one that took it away from here. And I think you're not worried with the book itself but with what was in it."

Draco looked at her as if trying to sort her out. Then he suddenly comprehended.

"You saw the picture."

 "Yes, I saw the picture."

"You saw Harry's picture." he held his breath.

"Yes." she looked down.

 "And?"

"And nothing."

"You're lying! Why are you lying to me?"

Narcissa kept silent, not sure of what to say.

"You saw Harry's picture." he repeated, his voice fading away. "I guess you are wondering why I have a picture of Harry in my stuff."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Draco. I'm not asking you to."

'Perhaps because she put two and two together and realized that I like Harry?' he thought, 'Or perhaps because she's disgusted with the whole thing?'

"But I want to. You see, I was saving it to use it in a curse and-" he tried to cover up.

Narcissa noticed he had bags under his eyes and that he was even paler and more exhausted than before. The stress was drawing his forces, aggravating his fragile state. She decided to put a stop on his useless speech.

"It doesn't matter, Draco. I just want you to be happy. I'll always love you, no matter what. You just need to be more cautious. You were too careless by leaving that book right beside your bed."

He gulped. "I know. I usually transfigure the book into some other object. I guess I forgot to do that."

"Well, in the future, be more careful. I can't even think about what your father would do if he saw that picture. It's quite obvious why you kept it near you, Draco. Your father would kill you and him. He's not stupid. He wouldn't fall for whatever excuse you invented."Â

Did that mean his mother was ok with the fact that he liked Harry?

"You don't mind then?" he asked.

"About Harry's picture you mean?"

"Yes. But mostly, about me and... Harry."

"I think it's too dangerous, Draco. But, as I said before, I want you to be happy."

"Even if... even if my happiness lay in being with Harry?"

It was true then. His son was really in love with Potter. She sighed.

 "Yes. I guess Harry is a good guy, right? He is cute." she commented and he blushed.

"Yes, he is."

"What about him? Does he know how you feel?"

"Yeah, I guess. We never really talked about it." he looked away, embarrassed.

"I hope he feels the same way about you, too. I don't want to see you hurt."

"I guess that is inevitable." he said.

"Indeed, it is. I guess love is inevitable anyway. The hurt part only comes when we are not so sure about our partner and ourselves. You love him, right?"

Draco nodded. "I'm sorry."

"For what!?" she raised her eyes to see right into his eyes.

"For not being able to resist... For not being able to... not love him."

"Oh, that's nonsense! You can't choose to be in love. It just happens. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you."

Draco shot her his first honest smile ever since he got home. "Yeah, the four-eyes is lucky to have me."

Narcissa smiled back at him. "You have a lovely picture of him."

"Yeah." he looked dreamy. "It took me a while and a lot of effort to steal it."

"Draco!" she called his attention. "That's awful!"

"Well, I couldn't just ask for it, you know. Besides, that stupid Colin Creevey has loads of pictures of Harry. He wouldn't miss it anyway. In fact, he has too many pictures of Harry for my taste... I think he has a serious crush on him. Maybe I should take care of that." he bit his lip, thoughtfully.

"Draco, that's not nice!"

 "And since when I'm nice?" he shrugged his shoulders but then winked at her. "Don't worry, mum. I'm jealous but I won't be mean to Creevey. I'm changed. A couple of months ago I wouldn't blink before seriously hurting him. But not now. And you have Harry to thank for that." he said, his mind already drifting away and landing on Harry.