Harry Potter and the Year of Insanity

Narrated by Harry

    As I left King's Cross with Uncle Vernon, I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss that Hermione gave me. I mean she had never kissed me before, on the cheek, or otherwise. Was that kiss just a friendship kiss, or did it mean something more?

    We arrived at number four; Privet Drive and I dragged my trunk all the way upstairs and into my room, with no help from anyone. I went back downstairs, and grabbed Hedwig, my owl, brought her upstairs, and placed her on my desk. I then collapsed on my bed.

    'What on earth could that kiss have meant,' I thought, 'it probably meant nothing, but what if it didn't?'

    I knew I needed some advice, but whom could I ask? 'Ron? No, he'll probably just make fun of me for reading too much into it. Mister Weasley? I'll put him down as a possibility. Misses Weasley? No, I can't talk to a girl about something like this,' and then it hit me, 'Sirius! I could always talk to him about problems I've been having with Dursleys, or with Voldemort, why shouldn't I be able to talk to him about my love life,' and then I thought, 'love life? I don't love Hermione, and if I do, it's only in the way like how a brother loves a sister. But what if I love her on a higher level,' that's when I realized, 'I got to talk to Sirius, no, I have to talk to Sirius, no, I need to talk to Sirius.'

    So, I walked over to my desk, took out a piece of parchment, and my luxury eagle feather quill, and began writing:

    Dear Sirius,

        I'm having a few problems, and no it has nothing to do with my scar, or the Dursleys. It's about Hermione.

        You see after we arrived in London, Ron and Hermione said their usual good-byes, but after Hermione said goodbye, she kissed me. She didn't kiss me on the lips; she kissed me on the cheek. Now it's not that I'm worried, that's not the problem, the problem is that I can't stop thinking about that kiss, you see, she never kissed me before, on the cheek or otherwise.

        You're probably wondering what I'm concerned about. Well, I was thinking: Was that kiss just a friendship kiss, or did it mean something more? If it means something more, than what does that mean? I mean she's my best friend, I can't feel that way about her.

        What do you think? Please send a reply as soon as possible.

        Harry.

    P.S. I'd prefer that you keep this under your hat. Please don't tell anyone, especially Hermione.

    I took the letter, tied it to Hedwig's leg and said, "Please hurry," before sending her off.

                    * A few days later, at around six o'clock, I was busy reading a Quidditch magazine when all of a sudden:

    "Boy, get down here!" It was Uncle Vernon.

    I ran downstairs and when I got to the bottom, he said, "Here," he handed me a big, heavy, square box which I grabbed by the handles, "Take it to your room and come back down," I did as he said. I couldn't go very fast because the box was so heavy, I had to drag it up the stairs and into my room. After that I came back down. At the bottom of the stairs was a box, it was thinner and a little lighter than the other box, on top of it, an envelope was taped on. Uncle Vernon tapped the box and pointed up the stairs.

    "Okay, is that it?" I asked.

    "Yes," he said in a very calm and monotone voice.

    I brought the box upstairs and into my room. I then ripped off the envelope, and opened it up, but before I took out the letter.

    "Petunia, Petunia," it was Uncle Vernon, "Petunia listen," they were right in front of my door.

    "I don't want him to have one!" Aunt Petunia responded.

    "I don't like it any more than you do," he said.

    "Than why did you give him one?"

    "Because I thought of the positive, rather than the negative."

    "What's that supposed to mean?"

    "Petunia it's surplus, that means it will just go unused. So, I thought: Why put it to waste?"

    "Alright, but why give one to him?"

    "Because, it will keep him off our hands, and besides, if we have one in the living room, and one in Dudley's room, and we don't let him use either one, then he will tell that godfather of his that we are treating him badly."

    "Alright, but, won't your company need it?"

    "No, like I said, it's surplus, and if it ever turns out we do need it, then we will just take it back."

    "Okay," replied Aunt Petunia. I listened as they both walked down the stairs.

    I took out the letter and read it:

    Harry,

        A month ago, at work, we hired an efficiency expert, he said it would increase productivity if we upgraded to new technology, he suggested that we use computers to speed up communications and to easily manage the machinery.

        Unfortunately, we got a small surplus and were left with computers we don't need, so I decided to bring three home, one for the living room, one for Dudley's room, and one for your room. All the instructions are inside the box, and if you want to use the Internet, I want 10 pounds a month from you.

    I was actually getting something valuable from them. Woo Hoo!