Lily Evans: A History

Lily Evans; A History

Chapter 57 -

By: Bethany

Rated: PG

~*~*~*~

Waiting for a magical explosion, it turned out, was like waiting for Sirius to mature: It was going to be a slow process. Day in and day out Lily found herself mentally cringing before every spell, the simple flick of a wand making her heart stop if only for a second. But as the days wore on there was nothing and more nothing. No more tables crashing against the wall, no sudden explosions that may or may not hurt Lily's friends and boyfriend, or even just class mates in general. And even though the weeks turned to months, the only thing that stayed the same was Lily's lack of magical explosions.

"Do you think I could do it on purpose and get it over with?"

As if there wasn't anything else to worry about; as if Dumbledore hadn't just recruited Lily and a mass majority of her friends for a secret group that was working against the strongest dark wizard in many years. As if she didn't have a ton of homework, essays and spells to learn, Lily did not want to worry about a magical explosion. She pushed the auburn fringe out of her eyes and exhaled deeply in frustration.

Sitting across the table from her, his chin planted in one palm and his other hand holding a quill that he used to draw snitches on his parchment, Lily's boyfriend gave a small shrug of the shoulders. "Like doing what? A strong spell?"

Lily raised her head, her eyes glancing over at James expectantly. "Would that work?"

"Huh?"

"A strong spell," Lily repeated his idea, closing her Care of Magical Creatures book with a flourish. "If I did a strong spell, that took more magic than just simple ones, do you think it could help expel some of this magic build up?"

James let the parchment he was doodling on snap up in a roll. "Worth a shot, isn't it? And I think I know a perfect spell! And it would be dead useful, too!"

As both Lily and James stood up, the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room opened, allowing Sirius, Kassie and Remus into the room. Sirius was, as usual, snickering about something that he had said to Kassie. The black haired girl rolled her eyes as she approached Lily, waving her hand dismissingly at Sirius. "Ignore him," she said in a low voice, "he thinks he is going to tame Remus as a pet."

James' face faltered, glancing at Remus, who smiled. "Yes, he's a prat. But after seventeen years on this earth, it really goes without saying," Remus laughed.

Remembering what he was about to do before having Sirius' latest scheme (if one could honestly call it that) thrown at him, James grabbed Lily's hand and tugged her toward the portrait hole. "Come on, we'll have to find a large classroom to do this in."

"Do what?" Kassie asked. Behind her Sirius burst out laughing.

James growled at his best friend. "I'm going to try to teach Lily a spell that will hopefully suck up some of the extra magic she has buzzing around her."

This piqued Remus' interest. "Which one?"

"Patronus."

"Ahhh!" Remus' eyes lit up. "That does take a large amount of magic. It could work! Do you mind if I join you?"

"I'd like to learn that one," Kassie said with interest, grabbing Sirius' hand. "We'll join you."

Down three flights of stairs and ten minutes later, the five friends found themselves in an unused classroom down from the potions classroom. Assured that the room was empty, they went in and closed the door behind them. James pulled his wand out, indicating Lily should do the same. "To conjure your Patronus you first have to find a happy memory to feed it."

Lily raised one eyebrow in question. "Um, feed it?" she asked, imaging her happy memory becoming food for a spell.

Remus chuckled. "Fuels maybe a better word." He raised his own wand. "A Patronus is a kind of positive force. It will work something like a shield, mostly used against Dementors."

Lily, recalling the only time she had actually encountered a Dementor during the attack on Diagon Alley, shivered with the memory alone. Next to her Kassie seemed to be having a similar experience. Remus continued, "In order for it to work, you need to think of a memory. A very, very happy memory. Fueled with the happy memory, your Patronus will appear. But you must continue to think of the happy memory, lose yourself in it, don't lose your hold on it or the Dementor will break through it. That is where the large amount of magic comes in. A Patronus is magic and emotion coming together."

At that Remus lifted his wand and cried, "Expecto Patronum!"

Lily and Kassie, having never seen a Patronus up close before, watched in amazement as a bright white and silver light erupted from Remus' wand. As it exited, a shape started to take form until a large wolf was standing in the room, seemingly looking at them. Lily started towards it, reaching out her hand, but her hand passed through. "It's not solid, but energy only. There are two types, corporeal and non-corporeal. This is a corporeal, always turning into the shape of an animal."

"A wolf?" Kassie asked.

"Not always," James replied. "Expecto Patronum!" Out of the end of his wand erupted a giant antlered stag. Lily's eyes grew wide as they met James.

Sirius, not to be out done, lifted his wand, "Expecto Patronum!" Joining the wolf and stag was now a dog roughly the size of a small pony. Kassie grinned, also running her fingers through the air where Sirius' Patronus stood.

"Ok, so let's try this," Lily said determinedly, lifting her wand and closing her eyes. She searched for a happy memory that she thought may fuel a strong Patronus. Her mind landed on the day she received her letter stating that she was a witch. The day that changed her life, giving her friends a future that at eleven she believed to be out of her reach. "Expecto Patronum!"

Her wand vibrated slightly in her hand, almost a nice humming, and a large white light erupted from the tip. It turned to a large blob of white light for only a second before disappearing. Lily's eyebrows scrunched together in frustration, but James clapped. "That's good! Usually on the first try you are lucky to get smoke. Although non-corporeal, it had potential."

Lily threw a grin at her boyfriend and Kassie stepped back to stand next to her. "Expecto Patronum!" Kassie cried, her face screwed in concentration. A white light poofed from the tip of her wand, then nothing. Kassie's face fell. "Well, that went well," she said sourly.

It seemed hours had passed, over and over again Lily and Kassie taking turns trying out different memories. Lily's became stronger and stronger, finally taking the shape of something large, but still so blurry it was hard to make out anything definite. James had tried to get Lily to take a break, but she was so determined that she would hear nothing of it.

Kassie, on the other hand, was running low on good memories. Frustrated she fell down hard in a chair and buried her face in her hands. "I just don't have anything good enough to draw off of. I don't have that many memories of my dad, and my mum was always so sad. My brothers and sisters, while I love them, aren't strong enough. I give up."

Sirius strode over to Kassie, yanked her up to stand before him and tilted her chin up until she was looking up at him. "Kassandra Leigh Phillips, you are not a quitter. You are the strongest, most talented and beautiful witch I have ever laid eyes. I know you can do this." Kassie diverted her eyes from his in frustration. She knew that he thought that; her believing it, however.... But Sirius would have no part of it. He placed his arms around her waist and tugged her closer to him giving her no option but to look up into his eyes. "I love you."

Suddenly Kassie's face lit up, excitedly she kissed Sirius quickly, though with as much passion as she could muster, on the lips and slipped out of his arms. She brought her wand up and said, "Expecto Patronum!" Out of the end of Kassie's wand exploded a brilliant bright light that took the shape of an eagle. Kassie gasped as the gossamer wings stretched out, nearly six feet across. "It's beautiful!"

Sirius, beaming proudly, hugged Kassie around the waist. "What was your memory?"

Blushing, but still grinning madly, Kassie said, "You. The first time you told me you loved me."

Lily was fairly sure she wouldn't be able to stand being in the room with them the rest of the evening. Kassie's statement apparently caused Sirius to think he should cover every inch of Kassie's face, neck and collar bone with kisses. He radiated happiness from every breath he took as he hugged his girlfriend. Lily stood listening to James and Remus talk when suddenly Sirius was pulling away from Kassie and sounding very choked up, slid down to one knee on the floor in front of her.

"No way..." Lily whispered as a tear fell off Kassie's chin and dropped to the stone floor.

Sirius looked up at Kassie, taking both her hands in his and starting out, he got choked up but then managed to find his voice. "I could tell you every minute of the rest of my life how much I love you, and it would never be enough. I want to be with you until I take my last breath, I want to wake up every morning for the rest of my life and see your beautiful face, knowing I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I want," Sirius cleared his throat, looking suddenly nervous. "Kassie, I want, I mean, will you marry me?"

Lily felt her heart beat speed up considerably. She reached out, grabbing James' hand and squeezing as everyone in the room waited with baited breath for Kassie's answer. Kassie's silent tears of happiness continued down her face as she fell to her knees in front of Sirius. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!"

"That is so... so lovely."

Everyone turned to look at the door, just taking notice that Professor McClure was standing just inside. She looked like she might have caught the tail end of the scene, but was choked up none the less. Lily raised an eyebrow and James was fighting a grin. The word "lovely" wasn't exactly something they would have placed coming out of her mouth.

The potions master waved her hand in the air. "I was coming to let you all know it's closing in on curfew so you wouldn't get in trouble. I'm sorry if it seems I'm interrupting." She smiled a little, and it made her look at least ten years younger. "Allow me to be the first to congratulate you both."

Kassie, still on her knees with Sirius, smiled, "Thank you." She then cleared her throat and Sirius replied the same, still looking a little shell shocked.

"Ok. Well, make sure you aren't out past curfew. Good night."

Lily looked from the door to where Sirius was helping Kassie off the floor. Remus walked over and slapped Sirius on the shoulder and said, "Congratulations mate. I'm happy for you."

"Yes," Lily said, finally pulling herself out of the dream like state that Professor McClure had created by appearing in the door. "Congratulations!" she hugged Kassie, James following and shaking Sirius' hand.

After a few minutes of light hearted chatter, Remus declared that they probably should be heading back to the common room because regardless of how "lovely" Professor McClure thought the proposal was, she was probably still waiting for them to get to their common room before curfew. Remus went out first, followed by Sirius dragging Kassie by the hand and then James. Lily glanced around the unused room once more and closed her eyes. She allowed her mind to float back over the last few months, searching for a memory. It was so lost with memories of pain and sadness that at first she wasn't sure it would work.

"Expecto Patronum!" she said, her eyes opening just as a silver translucent doe exploded from her wand. It went to stand next to the large stag, looking at her with eyes that seem to speak to her. Lily's non-wand hand flew up to her mouth. "Oh my goodness," she whispered and ran from the room before someone came looking for her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Though no strong magical surge (Lily often thought of a power surge in an electrical outlet when trying to figure out what to expect) ever left Lily, her spell work returned to normal after mastering her Patronus. While Remus and James were positive that this would be the end of the magic surge, the red headed wanted one more opinion. So Lily asked Professor McGonagall after class one day if she could have been able to tame the surge by focusing it like she had, and the Professor agreed that it was most likely. But she would need to be careful not to bottle up emotions, least she end up back in the same predicament.

Another crisis diverted and Lily felt like she might be able to concentrate more on her school work. But she had no more gotten that far than Dumbledore called a second meeting of the students he was recruiting to join the Order of the Phoenix.

It was midnight again; the air coming in through the window behind Dumbledore's pet phoenix was warmer as the season turned towards spring again. The late April breeze blew through the room, stirring papers and smelling of the rain showers that had come through at dusk. Lily covered her mouth to hide the yawn and listened as Dumbledore explained that while they would not be on the front lines while still in school, the work they performed would still be of importance. "James, I assume you was able to find out what I asked?"

James leaned forward so that the front two legs of his chair hit the stone floor while he consulted a piece of parchment he held in one hand. "You were right about the Abotts, if you wanted to invite them, they would probably agree. Or, at least the oldest, the youngest brother..."

"It too young yet, yes," Dumbledore agreed, his fingers steepled in front of him. "And the others?"

"I wasn't able to get a good reading on Winthrop, to be honest. My opinion, if you don't mind sir, is that if I can't tell one hundred percent, we shouldn't take the chance."

"Yes, there are many on the fence," Dumbledore mumbled. He walked behind his desk and took a seat. "That is a problem. If students leave this castle on the fence they are more likely to face recruitment. And the last thing we need is more young strong, eager soldiers on the wrong side of this war."

"Are we out numbered, then?" Peter asked, looking worried.

"We are unsure, honestly," Dumbledore replied, leaning back in his seat and studying Peter over his half moon glasses. He was silent for a moment and Peter started squirming in his seat. Finally he let out a deep breath and leaned forward. "But it doesn't matter if we are. A lesser number doing good can win over a larger number doing bad. We can, and I believe will, win this war. But it isn't going to be easy. It gets harder every day. Lives are lost every single day. The tomorrow that no one is promised is a literal reality for many."

Rachel Bones, the only sixth year Hufflepuff in the room, raised her hand. "Sir, the danger I can face, but what of my family? I don't want to put them in danger because of this group..." Lily felt sorry for her, she looked scared to the point of shaking.

"I can not promise they won't be hurt. But if you decide not to join us, do you think they will be safer?" He glanced around the room at every student. "I do not force you to be here. I would never dream of holding it against you if you decide not to join us. But if you think you will make your family safe by being passive, you are wrong. If you think you will keep them safe by joining the other side, you are very wrong. No one is safe, not even pure bloods," Dumbledore pointed out, looking at Sirius.

Rachel shook her head. "I didn't mean I didn't want to be here, of course I want to do whatever I can. I just worry..."

"We all do," Sirius spoke up. He looked gravely around the room. "I don't know a person in here that doesn't worry about family and friends. But I'd rather do something than stick my head in the ground and hope it doesn't affect me."

"Same here," James echoed, followed by most of the seventh years. Lily nodded in agreement.

Professor Dumbledore stood up. "Well, I think that concludes our meeting. I will let you know when the next is. In the mean time everyone should be working on what we spoke about at the beginning of the meeting. Good night."

As they filed back to Gryffindor common room, Lily walked silently between James and Remus, holding the former's hand tightly. Lost in thought, she didn't hear the question Sirius asked until James was answering it. "I don't know mate, but I know it isn't a trust issue."

Lily looked at Sirius as he contemplated the reply to the question she didn't hear. "I'm going to ask him."

"Maybe she doesn't want to?" Peter inserted.

"Who doesn't what?" Lily asked.

James answered, "Why wasn't Kassie invited to this?"

Lily honestly hadn't thought about it. For that matter, why was she and the Marauders invited, but none of the other sixth year Gryffindors? She thought about it for several minutes, trying to see what they all had in common that no one else in her class did. The only thing she could think of was that maybe it was magical talent. There was the powerful forces of her and James combined, and Sirius was extremely talented, even if he usually used it the wrong way. And Remus was very smart. And Peter.... Well.... Lily shook her head a little, dismissing that thought. Obviously magical talent wasn't Dumbledore's reasoning.

~*~*~*~

Lily watched worriedly as James packed his stuff in his bag. He ran it upstairs, leaving it in his room and exchanging it for the invisibility cloak. He came back down, came over to Lily and kissed her. "I love you."

Lily sighed, trying her to best to hide her mood. "I love you," she replied.

James's brown eyes narrowed worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Translated, there is something wrong and you don't want to tell me," he told her, sitting down in the chair next to her again. He glanced out the window, presumably to check the fading light. "Come on, Lily, tell me please."

The red head put her quill down and put her full attention to her boyfriend. "James, it's nothing that you need to worry about, ok?"

"Amuse me."

"I don't want to."

"I want you to. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Go on before you are late."

It wasn't anything in her voice, really. It wasn't even her body language, but suddenly James was sure he knew what was wrong with her. He smiled reassuringly. "Lily, I will be fine." Lily looked away, confirming his suspicions. James moved closer to her, covering both her hands with his and looked her in the eye. "You have no reason to worry. Everything will be fine. The worst that can happen is I fall asleep in transfiguration tomorrow."

Despite herself, Lily smiled a little. "Yes, Professor McGonagall is a sight more frightening than watching the person I love head off to spend the night with a werewolf..." her voice, already so low James nearly had to read her lips, trailed off and she let out a deep breath. "I'm a natural worrier, ok? Just you and him and no one to get help if something went wrong..." James looked away ever so quickly and Lily stopped, raising an eyebrow. "It is only you and him, isn't it?"

James swallowed, looking a little hot around the collar. Lily's green eyes bored into his. "Um, well, uh, sometimes it stinks that I refuse to lie to you," James muttered, glancing out the window again. If he thought Lily was going to let him off the hook because of that fact, he was wrong. She continued to look at him in question until he let out another sigh. "Um, no, it will not be just me."

Lily nodded, confirming something she had already thought since their Patronus lessons, but hadn't actually voiced. "So Sirius is a dog, I take it?"

James sat back, a little stunned. "Yeah... but how?"

"Patronus. I noticed yours was a stag, exactly like the one that appeared the night... well, you know what night. Anyway, it stood to reason that if you weren't alone that Sirius would have mastered it as well. I couldn't see him letting you break the wizarding laws alone." Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, that makes me feel a little better, anyway."

James stood, pushed his chair in and leaned down and kissed Lily again. "I love you. See you in the morning, ok?"

"You, too," Lily said. "Be careful."

James nodded and headed out of the portrait hole. Making sure no one was in the hall after he cleared the visual line of the Fat Lady, James slipped the cloak over himself and went in search of Sirius. Following the enchanted Marauder's Map, it didn't take long to find him. As Sirius crawled out of the door hidden in the portrait of fruit James pulled the invisibility cloak off. "Get something good?" he asked, indicating the bag Sirius held.

"Yup! Can't very well starve while we are using up so much energy. Thought Mooney might want something to snack on, too."

"You got werewolf food in there?"

Sirius rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Raw meat, check. Blah, no you prat, I meant before moon rise."

"Then we better hurry." James threw the cloak over himself and Sirius and the two headed out to the Whomping Willow. Peter joined them from the shadows, already in his rat form, as they exited the castle. James glanced up at the sky as they made their way across the lawns, worrying that they wouldn't make it before the moon broke through the darkening sky. The overcast sky was helpful, but still none of them liked to show up late. Remus usually did better if they arrived before it started.

Peter ran ahead, under the swinging branches of the tree, and hit the knot to freeze it. They could all dive between the branches if need be, but none of them fancied the bruises that came if you were caught by a flailing tree limb. Safely in the tunnel James took the cloak off, Sirius changed to his dog form and they headed quickly and silently to the end of the tunnel where they would find their friend.

They emerged from the tunnel, climbed up the stairs and entered the house. James looked around but Remus was no where to be found. Sirius ran on ahead, sniffing through the other rooms. James put the bag of food down, pulling out wrapped sandwiches, bottles of pumpkin juice and chips. Below the sandwiches was a huge array of chocolate cakes, pastries and other deserts. Peter jumped up on the table, sniffing appreciatively when Sirius reappeared. "He's not here."

"What?" James asked, turning. "What do you mean he's not here?"

"Remus, he's not here-"

"Maybe they are running-"

"No, James. We've got to find him." Sirius ran out of the room ahead, transforming into a large black dog as he went. He barked at the large hole beside the window to what used to be a dining room. James groaned and transformed before jumping through the opening after Sirius.

So much for promising Lily everything would be fine.

--End chapter 57.