Lily Evans: A History

Chapter 46 - Great big love affairs
-----------@~*~*~*~*~

Lily Evans hated fights, conflicts, and even just general disagreements. So it was no huge surprise that she wasn't very happy about her best friend's state of mind at the moment. Saturday was drawing nearer and Sirius still hadn't talked his way out of detention with Professor McGonagall. Kassie was barely tolerating his presence, and over all it looked like it was going to turn out to be a lousy weekend.

The red head sighed and leaned her head against Will's shoulder. They were sitting side by side on the sofa in the common room, working on their various homework assignments. But Lily found that she couldn't write another word about Draft of Peace, even though the essay was to be handed in during the first lesson of the next morning. She was four inches beyond the three feet required for the essay, and she would normally write more, but it simply wasn't in her that night.

Will continued to scribble on his own parchment for a moment, then put his quill down, performed a quick drying spell and rolled it up. "Would you check it for me?" he asked quietly.

"In a minute, if that’s alright." Lily took the parchment from Will and laid it aside, turning to see if anyone else was in the common room. It seemed there was not. Will caught her eye, raised one eyebrow in question and Lily smiled. "I thought we could find something more interesting to do. What do you think?"

"Like what?" Will asked, moving so that he could slide one arm around Lily.

Lily raised herself up, wrapped both arms around Will's neck and brought her lips to his. "Like this," she replied, then kissed him again. Will easily followed her lead, neither of them thinking about the fact that the common room was usually well travelled and they may be interrupted.

And as it happened, the portrait hole did open only a few moments later. Will groaned against Lily's lips as she pulled back and glanced behind him to see Peter dragging a cauldron through the room. He stopped when he noticed Lily and Will and looked behind him a little guiltily. "Never mind me," Peter squeaked and began tugging on the cauldron again.

Lily had every intention of going back to what she had been previously doing when it struck her as odd that Peter was pulling the cauldron, as opposed to just making it float. Then again, what was he doing with a cauldron, anyway? Honestly, she wasn't sure she wanted to ask, but as a Prefect, it was her duty. Lily turned again. "Peter? What’s in that cauldron?"

Peter's face lost nearly all of its colour. "You can see it?" he squeaked, tugging harder. He looked behind him and his green eyes grew huge. "Oh no...."

Right about that moment the sound of footfalls on the stairs caught their attention. James came running down the stairs, followed closely by Sirius. "Wormtail what are yo--never mind. I can guess," Sirius bit out. He waved his wand at the cauldron and it floated into the air and over to him. "Lily, do me a favour and forget everything you've seen here."

"What is in that cauldron?" Lily insisted, coming around the sofa. Will stood up and came over to her side and James scowled at them from the doorway of the stairs. "Is it dangerous?"

"Please forget that you've seen it, please," Sirius nearly begged. "Don't make me do a memory charm on you."

"You'll do no such thing!" Lily said, her voice raised, just as Will had opened his mouth to say the same thing. He pulled his wand, but Lily shook her head.

James ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "No one is going to charm, curse or hex anyone," he said. "Lily, follow us. You might as well, too, Will."

Sirius guided the cauldron up the stairs, followed quickly by Peter, whose face was blood red, James, Lily and Will. They arrived in the fifth year dorm and Sirius put the cauldron down and turned. James shut the door, charmed the room so it was sound proof and flopped down on his bed.

Sirius looked a little lost and Lily suddenly felt sorry for him. He rubbed his hand over his face roughly, then pointed to the cauldron. "Before you say anything, hear me out. I can't get out of detention with McGonagall, she refuses to let me. And I can't miss Kassie's birthday or she'll never speak to me again. So I found a way that I can be in detention and with Kassie."

Lily cast a confused look to the four boys in the room. Remus had said nothing since they had walked in, but he was watching Lily with an expectance that made her uncomfortable. She swallowed. "So what is in the cauldron?"

"Polyjuice potion," Sirius answered quickly, holding his hands up to stop anything Lily was about to say. "Remus is going to take the Polyjuice potion and do the detention for me so that I can to go Hogsmeade with Kassie."

Almost in spite of herself, Lily was so astonished at the effort Sirius was going to in order to make Kassie happy, that it took a moment for her to realise what they had just said. She frowned. "But it takes a month to make the Polyjuice potion, how'd you do it?"

James stood up at this point. "That's the part that we are hoping you don't tell on us for. We nicked it."

"From Snape," Sirius added. "He has a room in the dungeons where Professor McClure lets him brew potions. We got the idea when I overheard him telling someone in his year about the Polyjuice potion. But Peter," and here Sirius threw the shorter boy a dirty look, "was supposed to bring back two glasses of it, not the entire cauldron."

"I forgot the glasses," Peter squeaked, his forehead shining with sweat. "I didn't know what to do."

"So you brought the entire cauldron, Wormtail? How thick are you?" James snapped.

Remus put his hands up. "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. We have to get this cauldron back before Snape realises it’s gone. Lily, are you going to tell on us or not?"

Lily bit her lip, looking at Remus, then Peter, James and finally Sirius. "No," she replied. "But do hurry and return it before you get caught."

Sirius' face broke into a huge grin and he hugged Lily, picking her up off the ground. James transfigured two quills into glasses and dipped out the potion they required. Then the boys set off on making the cauldron invisible (since obviously Peter hadn't managed to do so) and returning it to Snape before it was missed.

It was on Sirius and James' way back through the common room (after giving Lily the thumbs up) from returning the cauldron that Kassie came downstairs, her arms loaded with books. She continued walking past Sirius as if she hadn't seen him and Sirius watched her, looking unsure if he should speak to her. Granted, the last time he had spoken to her, she asked if he was out of detention, he said no and she walked away, ignoring his calls for her to return. Lily thought Kassie was letting this go too far, by not talking to him at all. But then again, had she been in Kassie' position, she might have felt the same. After all, not only had Sirius managed detention the day of the Hogsmeade visit, but apparently he had forgotten her birthday as well.

Kassie nudged the portrait open and tried to crawl through, but she dropped all of the books she had been holding. Lily started to get up to help, but Will held her down. She gave him a confused look. Will nodded to where Sirius and James was standing. James pushed Sirius to get him to approach Kassie and then briskly went up the stairs. Lily eased back onto the sofa just as Sirius approached Kassie. He bent down to pick up a book near his feet, but Kassie's look stopped him. "I don't want your help."

Sirius sighed and he bent down, picking up the book anyway. "Kassie, I need to talk to you."

"But I don't want to talk to you," she replied, yanking the book from his hand and attempted to go out of the portrait hole again.

Sirius looked ready to explode. "If you would just listen to me for a minute!" he said, his voice rising.

Kassie dropped the books again. Obviously she couldn't manage to get through the hole with them. Angrily she started picking them up again, and even from her distance, Lily could tell Kassie looked like she wanted to cry. Sirius must have noticed, too. "Look, I'm sorry Kassie. You don't know how sorry I am, but I'm not perfect, I'm allowed to forget things! And I didn't know McGonagall was going to go mad and give us detention for the rest of the week! I--"

"I don't care!" Kassie replied. Her voice cracked and Lily feared she was about to throw the book in her hands at him. It was only Will's restraining arm that kept Lily in her seat.

"Damn it woman, stop being so stubborn and listen to me!"

"Will, let me up," Lily whispered.

Her boyfriend shook his head no, keeping his grip on her. "Just let them work it out. It won't do any good to get in the middle of it."

"But-"

"No Lily," Will repeated, a little louder this time. "Look at me. Would you want Kassie or Sirius getting in the middle of a row we were having? I know it's hard, but you've got to let them fight it out. Then if she needs it, follow her and comfort her. Not now."

Lily longed to jerk her arms away from Will and get up anyway. She wasn't trying to get in the middle of it, she was trying to help Kassie get the books up and go with her to the library so that she and Sirius would stop fighting. Kassie needed time to get over this, and that wasn't going to happen with Sirius practically yelling at her. But when Lily looked back up, something incredible had happened. She blinked, looked at Will, then back up.

Sirius had grabbed Kassie by the arms, yanked her towards him and pressed his lips down on hers. For a moment the black haired witch stood completely still, then she started pushing away from him. "This isn't going to work, Sirius, let me go!"

"Not until you listen to me," Sirius held her against him even though she was struggling. But it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that if Kassie really wanted to get away from him she would have already done so. "Look, I stole some Polyjuice potion from Snape. Remus is going to go to detention for me so I can be with you."

Kassie stop struggling all together. For a long minute she just stared at Sirius, searching his eyes. Finally she sighed. "I don't mind that you got in trouble. You do that all the time. But--" she hesitated, looking unsure, "I can't believe you forgot my birthday. Maybe I'm being stupid, but it really hurt me that you forgot."

Again the couple lapsed into silence. Lily stopped struggling to get up and Will gently eased his arm around her. "See?" he whispered. She hit him on the arm and rolled her eyes.

Sirius, for his part, felt like the most horrible person on the face of the Earth. Slowly he let go of Kassie's arms and took a step towards the portrait hole, then another. Kassie watched him, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Sirius? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to throw myself in the lake," her boyfriend replied, not turning around.

Lily's head jerked up and Kassie looked exasperated. "What? Why would you do that?" the black haired witch asked.

"Because I hurt you, and I swore I'd never do that. Now I deserve to be fed to the giant squid."

Kassie giggled and yanked on Sirius' arm to get him to turn around. When he did she shook her head in disbelief. "You are an idiot, you do know that?" she asked before promptly throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him.

Sirius held her for several minutes before asking very softly. "Do you still love me, then?"

"Of course," she replied.

"How much?"

Kassie considered this a moment. "Oh, about this much," she said before kissing him.

"Great, just great!" Sirius and Kassie broke apart and Lily and Will turned towards the boys’ staircase where Peter was standing. He threw his hands up. "Well, those two are back to snogging, I see." And with those words he turned and stomped back up the staircase.

-------------

Late Friday night found Lily and Will standing in the potions dungeon classroom. Will was sitting on Professor McClure's desk, his feet swinging back and forth just above the floor while Lily stirred the contents of a cauldron. She appeared in deep thought, then turned to Will and said, "Strawberry."

Will pulled a face. "Strawberry?" he repeated.

"Yes, strawberry ice cream is the best. Chicken or beef?"

"Beef," Will replied at once. "Apples or oranges?"

"Both," Lily said, dipping out a vial of potion. She took it over to a dish beside her where a roll of film was laying. Carefully she poured the potion over the film, then set the timer.

"Both isn't an answer."

"Of course it is," Lily insisted. She jumped up to sit on the worktop across from McClure's desk and looked straight at Will. "Transfiguration or Herbology?"

"Transfiguration. Care of Magical Creatures or Divination?"

"Need I answer that?" Lily raised an eyebrow and kicked her foot out at Will, who caught it.

"Hahaha, shall I keep this foot for ransom?"

"You may have a hard time getting back to the common room as a snail," Lily said, picking her wand up.

Will thought for a moment and dropped her foot. "Pity. Though, I always wondered what it would be like to be a snail."

Lily laughed and got up to check on her pictures. She pulled the photographic paper out of the potion and pinned them up on a string she had charmed to hover above the table. Will jumped off the desk and came around to look. "Aw, that's a good one of you," he pointed out. "Can I have it?"

Lily looked over and her face turned red, though it was hard to see in what little light was coming in the room. "It's horrible, really. Why would you want it?"

"It's beautiful because it's you," Will said without thinking. Lily blushed red and busied herself with pulling out the next picture. "Can I have it, then?"

"If you want," Lily replied, grinning a bit to herself. She pulled out more pictures, most of them from Hogsmeade trips, others of her, Kassie, Sirius, Madison... she stopped at one picture, feeling a lump in her throat. The next picture she had pulled from the potion was of Alexis, Gabrielle and Kathleen jumping on the beds in their dorms. Madison was sitting across from them, nearly doubled over in giggles and Kassie was chucking pillows at Lily. Lily remembered when this had been taken; the first night back to school. After Kassie had told them all that she was going out with Sirius.

Will had noticed Lily's silence and looked over her shoulder. "What's got you--oh." He swallowed uneasily. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Lily said, putting the picture on the string. "I miss her."

Trying to avoid the depressing mood Lily was heading towards, Will looked down at the next picture. "What's that?"

Lily pulled the next picture up and gasped, her face slipping into a grin at the memory. "It's the picture James took. It was the night before Valentine's Day, if I remember right." The picture was of a black and white Kassie and Sirius lying on a cot, tightly holding each other, fast asleep. Lily smiled as she remembered James being so aggravated about finding them asleep. Of course, he had probably spent an hour trying to convince Lily to give up her camera so he could take it. She was sure James had forgotten all about it. As the potion started working Lily could just make out Kassie and Sirius' even breathing. She smiled. "I think I should get a frame for this and give it to Kassie for her birthday."

"I think she would like that," Will said. "Are you going to tell James, since he took the picture?"

"I shouldn't," Lily said a little bitterly. "He's been very standoffish to me as of late. I can't work out what's wrong with him."

"Maybe you should ask him," Will suggested evenly, but Lily could definitely hear a hint of worry in his voice. She turned to him in question. "What?"

"Why did you say it like that?"

"Like what?" Will replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning against the wall. "I didn't say it like anything."

"Yes you did. You sounded like you really didn't want me to."

Will let out an exasperated sigh and jumped back up on the desk. "You really don't know, do you? I thought you were just being sweet about it all, I had no idea you didn't know."

"Know what?" Lily asked, dropping the picture in her hand and narrowing her eyes. "Will, what are you talking about?"

The blonde Gryffindor shifted uneasily and ran his hand through his hair. "Lily, I think James likes you. As more than a friend. And I think he has for quite some time. So you can imagine that, as your boyfriend, I am worried if you go to talk it out with him. What if he tells you that he likes you and you dump me?"

Lily felt a hundred things going through her head at once. Her thoughts kept flashing back to Christmas, Petunia's wedding, summer holiday... every touch, ever gesture, every dirty look he had thrown at her since Alexis died. No, not since Alexis died. James was wonderful during all that. It was since Valentine's Day. She felt her heart drop to somewhere around her knees. "You're wrong," she whispered.

"Am I?" Will asked in response, his voice low and uncertain. "And what about you, Lily, do you like him, too?"

Do I? Lily asked herself. But it hadn't been her, had it? James had a girlfriend before Valentine's Day... that is when she decided to meet Will. And he, Will, had been so good to her. Making her forget all those feelings she had for James.... "No," she replied finally. Will didn't look convinced. "James is nothing but a friend." She swallowed hard, not recognizing her own voice when it came out of her mouth; "Look, if James had feelings for me, he doesn't anymore. Look at all his girlfriends. Besides," she added, looking Will straight in the eye for the first time since she started talking, "I'm with you."

Will looked like he only dared to smile, and even then it was small and unsure. Slowly he got off the desk, took two steps to close the distance between them and touched Lily's face lightly. "Good. Because there is something I wanted to say to you, but, well..." Lily's heart started hammering in her chest, half of her screamed for him not to say what she knew he was; half of her longed to be able to say it back. "Lily, I love you. I think I have for a long time."

And there it was. But did she love him back? Yes. But was it the strong kind of love that would last? Before Lily could answer herself she stopped thinking about it. She was scared of the answer. Will was waiting for a response and she needed to give him one. "I love you, too." She didn't think she was lying, and having to think about it only made her more confused.

Will watched her for a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but decided against it. He eased his other hand around her waist and kissed her lightly. But Lily's mind was elsewhere. Over and over his words kept playing in her head: I think James likes you. As more than a friend. And I think he has for quite some time....

---------------

A few hours later found Lily sitting cross legged on the middle of her bed, hugging a pillow and staring at the red blanket on her bed as if it was going to spell out the answers to the world's problems. The four other fifth year girls were in the room and Lily felt in a completely horrible mood for it. She wanted to talk to Kassie privately; but then again, how was she not to know that the other girls couldn't help her? After all, Kathleen and Gabrielle had both had their share of boyfriends this year and Madison... well, Madison didn't seem like the boyfriend type, honestly. But Lily thought the blonde had a thing for Remus. She certainly was curious as to how he was doing, where he was at, and so on.

When did our lives become a great big love affair, anyway? the red head thought sullenly. Teenage hormones made everything seem so much more complicated, Lily half wished she was younger again. When she could be friends with a wizard and not worry about if their feelings ran deeper than friendship. Now it was so complicated that she felt like screaming. Frustrated, and seeing no other way to vent than to spill all to the four girls in her room, Lily buried her face in her pillow and screamed.

The muffled scream caused the other four inhabitants in the room to look up, startled, and then ever so slowly Kathleen, Gabrielle and Madison looked at Kassie. "What?" the black haired witch said. "I have no idea!"

Kathleen clambered off her bed and onto the foot of Lily's, hesitantly putting a hand on the red head's shoulder. "Lil, you ok?"

Lily shook her head no, but didn't bring her face up. Kassie hopped off her bed, followed by Gabrielle and lastly Madison, and the four of them piled up on Lily's bed. Finally the latter looked up and straight at Kassie. "How did you know you loved Sirius?"

The randomness of the question (after all, they had last been discussing the new line of formal witches wear from Gladrags) made Kassie tilt her head, her eyes scrunched up in confusion. She paused, immensely aware that four sets of eyes were now waiting for an answer, and said, "I don't know, really. It was like I felt excited and, well, sort of like my chest was going to explode with these feelings I couldn't really name. And it only got better when I was with him, and then sometimes it got worse..." Kassie scratched her head in confusion. "I really don't know how to explain it. I just know. I'm not much help, am I?"

Lily shook her head and looked at Kathleen. "What about you and Michael?"

Kathleen shrugged. "I-eh, well, it's nothing like all that Kassie just said. So I'm pretty much questioning myself now if I really love him or if I'm just saying it because he is."

"I think that's called puppy love," Gabrielle said, pushing Lily over a bit so she could lean up against the headboard. "You love him, but unless it develops into something deeper, it won't last."

"Thanks a lot," Kathleen retorted, chucking a pillow at her sister.

Gabrielle shrugged indifferently, but before she could say something Madison leaned forward from where she had been watching Lily's face through all of this. "Lily, did Will tell you he loves you?"

Slowly Lily nodded and Kassie reached over, grabbed a pillow off Kathleen's bed and hit Lily with it. "He told you he loves you and you didn't tell me!?"

"Not all of us come dancing in the common room to tell the world," Kathleen muttered dryly.

Lily giggled despite herself, especially when Kassie crossed her arms and replied back, "I was happy and wanted the world to know. So nah."

"That's mature, Miss Phillips." Gabrielle rolled her eyes as Kassie stuck her tongue out at Kathleen. This only caused Kassie to stick her tongue out at Gabrielle, in turn. "And you're supposed to be sixteen in two days? Let's try two, shall we?"

Kassie hit her with the pillow next. Lily raised her hands, seeing that the four of them were about to get off subject and she wasn't finished yet. "So this puppy love, did you call it?" Lily asked Gabrielle, who caught the pillow and yanked it away from Kassie in mid-flight. "That means that just because I don't feel like Miss-I'm-in-true-love over there that I didn't lie when I said it back?"

"I don't think so," Gabrielle said.

Madison spoke up again, twirling a piece of blonde hair between her fingers. "Of course you didn't lie. You do love him, even though it may not be a strong kind of love that will last forever."

Lily felt better after hearing that and allowed herself to relax. For a split second she thought about telling them what Will had said, about James, but found that she couldn't in light of her relief that maybe she hadn't lied to Will when she told him she loved him. And anyway, the conversation was moving on to other aspects because Gabrielle had just leant forward and asked Madison, "Since when are you such an expert on the subject? I haven't seen you snogging anyone lately."

Madison's face turned so many colours of red so fast that she looked like she would explode. Kassie jumped up on her knees, pointing a finger at Madison accusingly, "HA! Who was it? Who? You have to spill!"

Madison buried her face in a pillow so all that was visible was a head full of blonde curls. Slowly she peeked up, her blue eyes wide in horror. "But it was only once...."

Lily felt like a small devil was on her shoulder, telling her what to say. For a few moments she ignored it, but it was very insistent. It didn't take long for her to cave in. "Is it Remus?"

Madison buried her face back in the pillow and the room suddenly became deathly quiet. When Madison finally lifted her head up again she looked fearful that someone might curse her. Lily reached over and put her hand on Madison's arm. "It's ok. I think Remus is a wonderful person."

But the blonde didn't reply. Kathleen was chewing on her bottom lip, nudging Kassie to get to her say something, but Kassie was speechless. Finally Gabrielle spoke, "Well, I think it's great," she said matter of factly. "So, how long?"

Madison took a deep breath and her eyes teared up. "I'm a horrible person," she whispered. "I-I've liked him for ages. Long b-before..." she left the sentence hanging, but she hadn't needed to finish. The words hung heavily in the air around them. There was a pregnant pause, in which several of the girls exchanged looks. Madison, though, seemed to think she was at a confessional and if she was going to get it out, she might as well be thorough. "So a few nights ago I went downstairs because I had forgotten a book in the common room. It was very late and Remus was sitting on the sofa, just staring. There wasn't a fire and it was very cold so I lit a fire and asked him if he was ok. H-He talked about Alexis a little bit and I, eh, I was just going to give him a hug." Her eyes grew huge to prove her point. "Everyone just needs hugs sometimes." Lily, Kathleen, Gabrielle and Kassie nodded, afraid to disagree if they wanted to. Madison looked desperate for someone to understand. "And one thing led to another. But we haven't talked since. I'm afraid he hates me now."

"Hate you? For what?" Kassie asked, eyebrows knitted together in thought. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Madison shrugged. "I don't know. But we haven't talked since then, so I just thought--"

"Nonsense," Lily said firmly. "You need to talk to him about it, ask him what it meant to him and then go from there."

Madison's face turned even more red than it had been previously, though it was hard to see how. "I don't know, I wouldn't feel right just approaching him about it."

"I'll talk to him," Kassie said at once, moving as to get to her feet and do it right that second.

Madison looked horrified and grabbed Kassie's arm, looking at her pleadingly. "No Kassie, don't. Please. All of you, please don't say anything to anyone. I would feel horrible if I knew he didn't like me. If I don't know, then I--" her voice dropped off, not sure what she would think. But it was better than full rejection. Kassie huffed, crossing her arms and sighing. But Lily thought she knew exactly how Madison felt. It was the way she had felt about James for the better part of the year.

Only now to find out that James may have liked her. Gabrielle grabbed Madison and hugged her. "So, can you tell us all the juicy details anyway? Was it a good snog?"

Lily forced herself to laugh as Madison turned red yet again, but her heart wasn't into the playful bickering going on in the room. She really wished Will hadn't told her about James, then she wouldn't feel so confused. She somehow felt that her potions O.W.L. would be easier than trying to figure out the relationships between witches and wizards. And that was saying something.

---------------

The next morning Sirius got up early and checked the Polyjuice potion. They had poured the potion into a small cauldron and put a self warming charm on it so it wouldn't go off. Remus had said that would work; Sirius honestly didn't know. Magic he was fluent with, potion making was completely pointless.

Well, it was pointless until he needed a potion for something. Then he could always nick it from Snape. That greasy head Slytherin was always hunched over a cauldron. Must be because he had so few friends, Sirius thought as he stumbled to the bathroom. After washing his face he went downstairs, a book under his arm. As he passed out of the boys’ staircase he glared at the girl's staircase before sitting on the sofa. He opened Hogwarts; A History and began skimming every page. There had to be somewhere in the oversized book that explained why the girl's dorms rejected his presence. And as with all the secret passages the Marauders had found using the book, Sirius was sure the way to get around the enchantment would be found in the same place.

An hour later when Kassie came stumbling down the stairs, with every purpose of turning and going up the boys’ staircase, she found Sirius sitting on the sofa. Amused, she walked around the sofa quietly. Sirius had a large thick leather bound copy of Hogwarts; A History in his lap, his head bent over to the side in what looked like a painful way, fast asleep. Gently she eased the book out of his arms with every intention of covering him up and leaving him there. But when she made to grab the book, Sirius awoke with a start, "I didn't do it."

Kassie chuckled to herself and shook her head, still holding the blanket. Sirius' eyes were half closed and he let out an audible yawn. "Wh-at time is it?" he asked between yawns.

"Early," Kassie whispered, laying the blanket over him. "Just go back to sleep."

"Nu uh, come here." Sirius yanked Kassie down until she was sitting beside him. Once he was sure she wasn't going to get back up he pulled the blanket over her legs and then yawned again. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Kassie replied.

"I asked you first."

Kassie grinned. "Well, I was actually coming up to talk to you."

"This early in the morning?" Sirius asked, eyebrow raised and a grin tugging at his lips.

"Yes. I was going to wake you up, but you looked so sweet here I couldn't. I suppose looks are deceiving, though, aren't they?"

"Indeed," Sirius sneaked his arm around Kassie so that she could lay her head on his chest. "So what did you need to talk about?"

"Remus."

"Not him again," Sirius muttered, pulling a face. "You going to dump me for him?"

"Oh yes, Sirius, that's it," Kassie said sarcastically.

"Well, you did say that when I first asked you out. You can't blame me for wondering."

Kassie slapped him on the arm. "Shut up, listen a minute and I'll give you an ego boost when I'm done." Sirius' eyebrows shot up but Kassie ignored him. "You can't repeat what I'm about to say to anyone."

Sirius' face contorted. Exactly how many people were going to tell him that, anyway? Where was the fun in being a Marauder if he had to keep secrets? Finally he sighed. "Go on, then."

Kassie plunged head first into the story that Madison had told the night before. When she finished she looked at Sirius carefully. The blunt surprise on his face said more than words ever could; he had no idea. "Remus a-and Madison?" he said finally, his jaw slack. Kassie nodded. "When? He hadn't told us!"

"Well, I imagine he's confused. Madison and Alexis were very good friends, so he probably feels bad about liking Madison, if he does. And then he probably feels guilty over Alexis, so he's afraid to have a relationship with Madison, if he wanted one."

Sirius suddenly hugged Kassie tightly. "That sounds very confusing. I'm glad I don't have to go through all of that."

"You’d better be," Kassie told him, grinning. "But the point in telling you was I thought maybe Remus had said something about it. I guess not."

"I had no idea. That doesn't mean James does--actually, no, none of us know. James is the last person someone needs to go to for love advice."

"And you're number one, I suppose?"

Sirius grinned very handsomely and Kassie felt a familiar flip of her stomach. "Of course." Kassie rolled her eyes. "Now where is my ego boost, love?"

"Probably snogging in the common room again," a voice drifted down the boys’ staircase. Peter, James and Remus came down the stairs and the shortest of them shook his head in disbelief. "I hate it when I'm right."

"Mate, you need a witch," Sirius replied and went back to trying to kiss Kassie as if he had never been interrupted.

James came over and clipped him around the ear. "Get up, we’ve got things to do today."

"Wha--oh! Right." He gave an apologetic look to Kassie and kissed her quickly on the lips as he stood. "I'll see you later." Kassie watched him go back up the stairs after his friends and turned around, picking up the book Sirius had been reading. The page was flipped open to Chapter 27--Enchantments, spells, hexes and disappearing doors. She sighed. He was still trying to get into the girl's dormitories.

-------------

Lily finished her breakfast, her mind still on the picture of Kassie and Sirius. Will was acting very happy today; she had actually caught him whistling as they came into the Great Hall together. James was sitting just a bit down from her, on the other side of Kassie and Sirius, talking with Peter and Remus. Genevieve Johnson was nowhere to be found, but Lily knew with an exclamation of "Jamie!" she would make herself known any second. Especially since James had obviously not waited for her again this morning. Preparing what she would say mentally, Lily got up and walked over, sitting beside James. The black haired wizard turned, looking like he expected Genevieve. His mouth shut with a snap when he noticed Lily. "Yes?" he asked, sounding rather bored.

"I need to talk to you about something. Can you meet me in the potions classroom after breakfast?"

James looked mildly interested at this and put his fork down. "What for?" he asked, his voice just the slightest bit more relaxed.

"Oh, a few things. Can you meet me?"

James shrugged. "I guess so."

Lily didn't reply, she just stood up and walked back over to take her seat between Kassie and Will. Both her boyfriend and best friend threw her curious looks, but she ignored both of them and ate the rest of her porridge at a hurried rate. When she finished she told Will she'd meet up with him later and rushed to the potions classroom.

She had a few good guesses as to why her heart was pounding so much, but at the moment she didn't want to think about any of them. She had lain awake most of the night thinking about what she would say to James today. And then the other half of the night worrying if Kassie would like the picture, or if she would be mad that they had spied on her and Sirius. Plus she was dead tired from studying so much this week, O.W.L.s were only a week away and she was beginning to feel like the pressure was going to make her break down. Her palms were actually sweating by the time the dungeon classroom door opened.

James walked in like he owned the place, approached Lily and jumped up to sit on Professor McClure's desk. The exact same spot that Will had been sitting in the night before. "What did you need?"

Lily picked up the picture from next to her cauldron and handed it to James. He looked at it for a minute, a grin spreading across his face. Almost without realising he was doing it, he used his middle finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose before he looked at her. "I forgot all about this. What do you want to do with it?"

"I thought we could frame it and give it to Kassie for her birthday," Lily replied. James looked at the picture thoughtfully and Lily swallowed. "It was just an idea, though..."

"No, no. It's brilliant. Where are you going to get a frame from?"

"I was hoping you could get one. I know that you can get into Hogsmeade, I saw the passage on the map."

James nodded and handed Lily the picture back, jumped off the table and made for the door. "I'll see what I can get before you leave for the village."

Lily nearly lost her nerve, but the cool way he spoke made her resolve come back. The other reason she had called him down here is because she was going to get to the bottom of why he was treating her the way he was. "James, there was something else."

He turned and Lily couldn't help but notice that his eyes never met hers. Regardless she continued as if she had his full attention. "I want to know why you have been avoiding me lately. Why are you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry," James replied at once, running his hand through his hair and looking away. "And I haven't been treating you any differently than before."

"That's a lie, James," Lily told him at once, ticking a list off her fingers. "You barely say three words to me anymore, you are always running into Will and I, an--"

James snorted, his entire demeanour changing. He was becoming defensive, Lily could sense it in his posture. "Yes, Will and I this and Will and I that. You have been going out with him for how long and you are snogging all over this school like a married couple?"

Lily's eyes grew huge. She didn't know if this was jealousy talking, or just a mean streak that James had hidden well for the last five years that she had known him. Either way she wasn't going to not reply, "Me? Pot and kettle talking! How many girls have you had hanging all over you since Valentine's Day? Three? Four?"

"That is none of your business," James said darkly.

"And Will is none of yours. If you have a problem with Will, you need to take it up with him. Don't act like a prat to me because of it. I haven't done anything to you!"

James opened his mouth to reply, shut it closed with a snap and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Lily watched him go, reached up and grabbed two fists full of her hair. "Arg! Damn him!" she muttered angrily, kicking at McClure's desk. "Ow.... damn him again!"

The redhead took the picture and left the room, heading straight for Gryffindor tower. When she arrived Kassie was coming down the stairs. "Oh, hey Lily. Are you ready to go? Wait--what's wrong?"

"Men," Lily spat and stomped past her, up the stairs and into her room. Quickly she put the picture in her bag before Kassie could catch up with her. Her best friend was right behind her.

"Did Will do something?"

"No," Lily replied, picking up her cloak and then changing her mind. It was the last day of May and the weather was very mild. "I don't want to talk about it. Are we leaving now?"

"Yeah," Kassie replied dumbly, one hand still in air as if she was about to point out a problem with the situation. She blinked. "Everyone’s waiting in the entrance hall."

"And Sirius?"

"He's going to follow us, he says. Beats me how he plans on doing it. And I really don't care, I'm just happy he's coming." Kassie flashed Lily a smile and grabbed her arm. "Ok, no long faces. I'm sixteen! Let's go and get pissed."

Lily rolled her eyes and let herself be dragged out of the room and down the stairs, pushing James as far from her thoughts as she could get him. Besides, he had only just confirmed what she already knew; he didn't like her any more than as a friend. She had given him plenty of opportunity to say so. No, James' problem was that he wanted to be Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. But if he had competition in Will, he was being childish by taking it out on her just because she was his girlfriend.

And with a clear conscience on the subject, Lily laughed and joked with her friends past Filch and out into the bright sunshine that promised to be the start of a beautiful day.

--End Chapter 46.