Rating:
PG
House:
Schnoogle
Characters:
James Potter Lily Evans
Genres:
Action Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 06/07/2003
Updated: 01/08/2013
Words: 389,988
Chapters: 59
Hits: 80,010

Lily Evans: A History

Bethany

Story Summary:
A story of Lily's life from pre-Hogwarts to marrying James Potter. How she coped with growing up with Petunia to her friendship with the four boys that would change her life - and eventually the course of history - forever.

Chapter 22

Posted:
11/11/2003
Hits:
1,259

Lily Evans, A History
Chapter 22 - Lost
By: Bethany
Rated: PG
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~*~*~*~*~

Lily Evans bolted up right on her bed, sweat dripping down her face. With a shaky hand, she pushed her auburn hair from her face, and pulled open the bed hangings in search of fresh air. Still breathing hard, her heart pounding so hard she could feel it in her ribcage, Lily placed her bare feet on the cold stone floor of the third year girl dormitory and slowly made her way to the lavatory.

The mirror above the sink showed the reflection of a skinny, pale, red-eyed thirteen year old whose tousled hair looked like a rat's nest at the moment. Lily turned the water on, gathered a handful of the water and splashed it on her hot skin. When she looked back in the mirror her appearance had not changed; it was simply wet now. She groaned.

Sleep was not something Lily had been getting a lot of since her return to school from Christmas holidays. Each night she revisited her memories of the horrible day with Vernon Dursley in the kitchen. And each night these nightmares became steadily worse until Lily found herself afraid to go to bed, knowing what it would bring. As a result of these frequent nightmares, Lily had lost her appetite, her skin had taken on a permanently waxy look and her eyes stayed blood shot no matter how many spells she tried.

And she was so tired. She found herself falling asleep during class, during lunch and everywhere in between. She knew her school work was lacking, and her friendships were strained with everyone since her temper these days seemed so near the surface. She simply didn't have the energy it took to be a friend. She could barely stay awake for lessons.

Lily rubbed her eyes hard, making them sting, and slowly made her way downstairs to the circular Common Room. The bitter cold February air had leaked into the room, and Lily started a fire in the hearth with her wand to chase away the chill. As the flames danced merrily, Lily curled up on the sofa, her warmth seeping into her skin, and once more fell asleep.

She stood at the foot of a cradle that was lined in blue blankets. Someone was laughing, and Lily looked up to see the back of a man with black hair leaning over the cradle. He held a small broom stick and was saying something that Lily couldn't quiet understand. Instead of focusing on this, however, she glanced around the room. It was a nursery, from what she could see. Stuffed animals, nappies, baby clothes and other things littered the selves. A rocking chair sat near a window that was facing a large garden full of many plants, some of them Lily knew was magical.

A voice suddenly broke the near silence, and a shot of bark-like laughter followed it. "Oy! Prongs!"

Interest peeked, Lily moved towards the door to see who it was when someone poked her arm. She swatted the air, but whoever it was wasn't to be dissuaded. They poked her again. "Stop..." she muttered, swatting into empty air again.

Suddenly Lily awoke, finding a blurry sandy haired figure leaning over her. He poked her arm again. She blinked, blinked again, and then sat up quickly upon realizing that the figure was Remus Lupin. Lily squinted her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Here?" Remus asked, presumably shocked. "Lily, you're in the Common Room."

"Oh!" Lily gasped, looking around as her memories came back. Her green eyes once more landed on Remus, who was watching her closely. The images of the man and baby cradle disappeared as reality seeped in. Pale morning light was streaming through the windows, and Lily noted that if anyone looked as bad as she felt lately, it was Remus. The last full moon had taken it's monthly toll on Remus, and a badly timed bout' of the flu had made him look like he was on his death bed. Still, he smiled warmly at her, even though the circles under his eyes could rival her own. Lily yawned. "What are you doing up so early?"

Remus shrugged, sitting across from Lily and prodding the fire with his wand to make it flare to life again. "I had to go to the infirmary for my dose of potions. Madam Pomfrey has taken to giving me Pepper up Potion daily. I just can't seem to get rid of the last of the flu." Remus shook his head, a well timed cough punctuating his sentence. "I'm getting tired of Sirius' non-stop jokes about the steam coming out my ears, so I take it before he gets up."

Lily found this vaguely funny, for she had heard Sirius teasing Remus just last week, but couldn't summon the energy to laugh. Instead she offered a weak smile. "You seem to be doing a bit better," Lily offered, her eyes flicking over to the fire that now danced merrily before them.

"Oh, well, anything is better than lying in the hospital wing, feeling like the world is ending." He coughed again, placing a hand on his chest and rubbing as if it hurt to breathe. "I honestly think that having the flu is worse than a full moon, and takes longer to get over."

Lily threw him a small smile, and yawned again. Slowly she got her to feet, hearing her back pop in protest. She knew she was much too young to feel so old sometimes. "I'd better get dressed."

Remus nodded, watching her go with eyes that seem to know only too well that Lily was hiding something. Trying to ignore it, she fled up the stairs and got in the shower. By the time she emerged, the rest of the girls in her room had risen and everyone except Kassie had went down to breakfast. Lily fell in step beside the black haired girl as they left the Gryffindor Common Room and headed to the Great Hall.

Kassie threw a questioning look at Lily as they jumped the trick step and rounded the corner. "You look like hell."

"Thanks," Lily replied, readjusting her bag on her shoulder and fighting the urge to yawn again. "I feel like it, too."

"Perhaps you should take some of that Pepper up Potion from Madam Pomfrey. I've seen her trying to shove some down your throat a few times." Kassie laughed suddenly, more to herself than to Lily. "I heard Sirius teasing Remus about him taking it the other day. Something about resembling a steam pit."

"And you wonder why I don't want to take any," Lily noted sourly, giving up and yawning while running one hand over her eyes. "With my red hair, could you imagine the fun Sirius would have? I'd never hear the end of it." She shivered at the very thought.

"Awww, but you'd make such a sweet steam engine," Kassie remarked, dodging Lily's hand as she swung it out. She chuckled to herself. "That would be so funny."

"Hence why I'm not taking any," Lily repeated, sitting down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and pulling the plate of toast towards her. She placed two pieces on her plate, reached for the marmalade, but didn't get it before Alexis snatched it up. Not really caring, she yawned again, fairly ignoring the rest of the third year girls as they talked about classes, plans for the weekend and other things. Down the table a bit Sirius was throwing insults over to the Slytherin table where Severus Snape looked to be mumbling something dark. Lily tried to turn her attention back to her toast, but was having trouble focusing long enough to eat much more than a few bites. She yawned loudly.

For about ten more minutes Lily sat quietly, not paying attention to much going on around her, forcing her eyes to stay open. Finally, though, she gave up. Laying her head on her folded arms, she vowed she would only rest her eyes for a moment before classes started. The next thing she knew, however, was Kassie was hovering over her, shaking her arm. "Lily! Wake up, we have to go to Herbology!"

"What?" Lily muttered, looking up. The Great Hall was empty save for herself, Kassie, and the Marauders, who looked to be up to something that had nothing to do with getting to class on time. "OH! I'm sorry!" Lily jumped up, grabbing her bag and following Kassie out of the hall and towards the greenhouses. Kassie walked silently beside her as they exited the castle and crossed the chilly grounds, Lily avoiding her curious looks at all costs. She knew that lately Kassie had been asking more and more questions about what kept Lily awake during the night, what she dreamed about that made her wake up sweating and why she was so reluctant to talk about it. But the truth was, Lily wasn't ready to tell Kassie what had happened at her home during the holiday, and wasn't sure she would ever be ready.

"Greenhouse two, third years!" Professor Sprout called, leading the way to a glass door just a bit further down. Lily was spared anymore questioning as they were herded into the greenhouse for class.

Herbology went about as well as expected out of a class that contained Sirius, James, Peter and Remus. It ended in Peter being bit by a Venemous Tentacula and being taken to the Hospital Wing by Remus. Professor Sprout spent the last five minutes of class lecturing the remaining Marauders on the importance of not teasing a biting plant.

Sirius ended the discussion by pointing out that you can tease a Venemous Tentacula as much as you want, so long as you aren't near enough to get bit. Their Herbology teacher looked exasperated as the bell rang and the students filed out.

"You owe me five sickles," James demanded of Sirius once they were back in the castle and heading for Charms class. Lily listened with half a ear as they made their way down the Charms corridor.

Muttering darkly, Sirius pulled out five silver coins and handed them to a grinning James. Beside Lily, Kassie shook her head in mock disgust. They filed in the classroom and took their seats just as the bell rang. From somewhere beyond a tall stack of books, Professor Flitwick tapped his wand on something to bring order. Everyone quieted almost at once.

Professor Flitwick was not only the Charms teacher, but the head of the Ravenclaw House. His class was usually very interesting, as well as fun, because most of the time everyone got to join up with their friends to try charms out. Lily excelled in this class, and had top marks, rivaled only by, odd though it was, Sirius Black.

"Today class," tiny Professor Flitwick announced, standing atop of a dusty pile of books that allowed him to see the entire student body. "We are going to practice Engorgement Charms. Who can tell me the properties of this charm?"

Lily listened with half an ear as a Ravenclaw explained the properties of the Engorgement Charm. Professor Flitwick then instructed them to raise their wands and follow his wrist movement. "It's more like this," he said to Davey Gudgeon, who was sitting nearest him and waving his wand in such a large circle that he seemed to be trying to write in the air rather than do an engorgement on his thimble. Professor Flitwick once more made a small 'o' with his wand and said, "Engorgio!" The thimble swelled to the size of a quaffle.

Lily yawned, but hid it behind her hand as Professor Flitwick instructed them all to work on their thimbles. Not too far into class Remus came in, joined by Peter who was sporting a bandage on his forearm. Together they joined the other Marauders, who were seeing just how large they could make their thimble before it exploded. Kassie muttered darkly beside her. "Show offs."

Engorgio!" Lily said, waving her wand into a small 'o' and making her thimble triple in size.

"Show off," Kassie repeated, this time to Lily as she waved her wand at her thimble. It leaped off the table and made a mad dash towards the door. Just about everyone in their row watched, laughing, as Kassie tried to catch it, but failed.

"Accio!" Professor Flitwick called and the thimble, as well as everyone else's in the room, came flying at him. James and Sirius' four foot high thimble went rolling towards their tiny Professor and Lily cringed. Thankfully James managed to stop the charm before any serious damage was done.

The bell rang and everyone filed out and to the Great Hall for lunch. Again Lily skipped eating in lieu of sleeping and was awoken by Kassie in time to head to the dungeons for double Potions. She took her seat next to Kassie and listened with half an ear as Professor McClure explained how to make a swelling potion.

"It seems today is the day to make things bigger," Kassie muttered, copying down the list of ingredients she would need to fetch from the school cupboard. Lily muttered an affirmative, feeling that she wouldn't be too successful unless she woke up some. She wished they were working on an alertness potion; she could do with some of that right now.

**

Lily might have been spared questioning from Kassie earlier, but that didn't stop her best friend from starting again that night in the common room. They had been sitting quietly at a table in the far corner, doing homework and occasionally talking about something that had come up in class today, when Kassie put her quill down thoughtfully. "So, you never did tell me how your holiday went."

Lily tried to force herself to remain calm, the last thing she wanted to talk about was how her holidays went. A smarter witch than herself might have came up with a better comeback, however. "Why do you ask?"

Kassie's eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. "Well," she began, drawing the word out as if looking for something else to say with it. "I don't know if you realize it, but you haven't said a word about how things went at home, and you've looked a wreck since we got back." Kassie leaned forward, all pretences about this being a casual conversation were gone. "And you keep having these nightmares. I'm worried about you, Lil. That's all. It's been nearly two months since Christmas, and you haven't been the same."

Lily pushed her fringe off her forehead and exhaled deeply. Purposely she picked up her quill and dipped it in ink. "I don't want to talk about it, ok? It was as bad as ever, and I'm sure you can imagine what I mean."

"No," Kassie retorted, her voice had a slightly hard edge to it. "I don't know what you mean. I don't know anything about you anymore, Lily. This entire year you've been better friends with... with James than me!" Without waiting for Lily's reply, Kassie gathered up her books and stormed up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.

Lily, after giving apologizing looks to those in the common room, bolted after the black haired girl. She pushed the door open to find Kassie sitting on her bed, arms crossed. "I just don't know what to make of you anymore, Lily," Kassie began, as continuing an un-interrupted conversation. Lily opened her mouth, but was cut short by Kassie standing up and continuing. "I know you've had a rough time of it. What with your parents being hurt and all, but I don't know what to do. Do you know," Kassie suddenly yelled, turning to face Lily with accusation written all over her features. "That for two weeks I waited for you to write me when you were at the hospital? Two weeks! And do you know who finally told me you were all right?"

Lily bit her bottom lip, her mind frantic to come up with a plausible excuse for her actions as of late. "Who?" she whispered, knowing full well that Kassie had a very good point, and no amount of explaining could right that wrong.

"James!" Kassie bellowed. "You couldn't write me, but you wrote to him, more than once!" Kassie continued to pace back and forth, her robes whipping out at each turn. "And then you go away for Christmas and come back having nightmares, crying for your mother to believe you..." Lily's face lost what little color she had remaining. She hadn't known she talked in her sleep. Kassie paid her little attention. "But will you talk to me? No! And if I ask, you jump down my throat. Well, you know what, Lily Evans? I'm tired of it! If that's the way you want to be, then we shouldn't be friends!"

Whatever excuse Lily was about to fork out died on her lips. For a second she stared at Kassie, not sure she was hearing right. From the moment Kassie had gotten on the train in their second year, they had been friends. Lily felt as if her blood were running cold within her veins. Something sparked in her, something cold, calculating and unforgiving. "If you can't let me try to sort through my problems on my own, then you're right. Just because we're friends doesn't mean I have to spill all my problems to you." With more calm than she felt, Lily turned and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

As soon as the door was closed, though, Lily felt her hands shaking madly, felt the sting of tears gather behind her eyes. With a deep breath she took off running down the steps. Taking notice of no one in the common room, she ran towards the exit, pushed the portrait open and climbed out.

"Lily! Lily, wait!" a male voice followed her out of the portrait hole, but she ignored it and it faded with the closing of the Fat Lady.

She was half way down the spiraling staircase, towards wherever her feet were taking her, when she heard the footsteps behind her. By the time she made it to the bottom, she was more than sure who they belonged to.

"Lily!"

The voice only confirmed it. Lily stopped, turning though every nerve in her body screamed at her not to. James Potter stood ten feet behind her, breathing hard. Other than the rise and fall of his chest, Lily couldn't tell he had ran down so many steps. He stood stark still, staring at Lily with a gaze that probed down into her very heart. "What?" she finally asked. Though she had meant for it to come out strong, her voice cracked as soon as she spoke.

"What is wrong with you?" James began, looking like he wanted to step forward, but thinking better at the last moment. So he stayed where he was, still staring at her. "Since we came back from Christmas break, you've been acting strange. What is wrong?"

Lily stared at him hard, tears burning beneath her lids. James' equally fierce eyes caught and held her own, willing her to back down. "What do you care?" she finally spat, breaking the eye contact and looking away as if searching for an escape. "It's personal, I don't want to talk about it. Why doesn't everyone stop bothering me!"

There was a hurt look that crossed James' features, but it was gone as quickly as it had came. Lily held her breath, half wishing she could take the words back and half wishing he would listen to them and leave her be. "I can't," James whispered finally, a slightly defeated tone ringing through.

"Why?" Lily stubbornly avoided his eyes, they made her feel sorry for the harsh way she spoke, and slightly angry at the way they pleaded for answers. She could feel his brown eyes boring into her and a very small part of her wanted to break down and tell him everything. She shuddered. "Why?" she demanded again.

"Because--" James broke off, his voice rose slightly, but was a deadly whisper when he continued. Almost as if he were saying this more to himself than to her. "I care about you too much."

Instantly Lily's eyes ripped from the wall she had been staring at and sought James', but he refused to meet them. She exhaled deeply. "Don't. You don't want to get caught up in this mess that is my life." And without giving him time to reply, she turned on her heel and ran.

***

The castle corridors by night seemed far less inviting than they did during the day. After nearly running into Peeves and carefully avoiding Mrs. Norris, a skinny, ugly gray cat that belonged to the caretaker's nephew, Lily decided to go outside.

She had been fighting the tears for weeks, refusing to allow herself the pleasure of having a complete emotional break down. She had to be strong, she told herself. But what Lily couldn't understand is that sometimes it took a strong person to cry, and let others help you. Biting her lip to the point of tasting blood, Lily thought about going back to Gryffindor tower, but changed her mind. The only thing waiting there would be Kassie, questions she didn't want to answer... and James.

Why had he said that? Flinging the door open, she stepped into the bitterly cold night, a chill running down her body and causing bumps to spring up onto her arms. The wind hit her face harshly, and she told herself that is why the tears burned beneath her eyes.

She walked without aim, but with plenty of thoughts. James' eyes as they bore into hers, yearning with something she didn't understand and wasn't sure she wanted to. She was too young. Life was suppose to be fun, carefree.... Why had she been denied this? The wind whipped around her small frame, covered only light in clothes and a work robe, but she walked on regardless. The Dark Forest no longer loomed ahead. Without realizing it, she found herself under it's mighty trees.

Her thoughts stopped as she realized just how far she had gone into the forest. It was dark here, though the nearly full moon rays creaked through the light up the ground. She couldn't tell which way she had came, and was even more unsure of the way out. Panicked, her thoughts of James, Kassie, and Vernon forgotten, Lily pulled her wand.

"Lumos!"

A light blazed from the end, casting a yellowish glow around her figure. The trees seem to go on forever in all directions and nothing looked familiar. Taking a deep breath, her lungs stung with the cold as she forced her mind to clear. Racking her brain, she remembered a spell she had ran across in the library and laid her wand flat in her palm.

"Point me!"

The wand turned, pointing due north. Lily went the opposite direction, heading hopefully towards the castle. But the longer she walked, the colder she became. The trees seemed to never end and every small noise now seemed louder, and she found herself jumping at the sound of her foot landing on frozen leaves.

Exhausted, freezing and numb, Lily cursed herself for being so stupid as to wonder into the forest. She hopped that if she didn't find her way out, that she lived to morning. That someone would notice her missing. But even the thought of being found brought a feeling of humiliation. Tears of self pity sprung to her eyes, but she pushed them back and sat on the stump of a fallen tree, trying to gather her thoughts. But the only thing she could think was that she should have tried to explained to Kassie, shouldn't have yelled at James. Regrets pulled at her mind the longer she sat on the cold tree stump.

Lily knew, from being told as a child, that if you were lost in the woods, it was best to stay where you were. So she stared, unblinkingly, at the forest floor for hours that seemed to never end. Cold, dry leaves scattered around the moss eaten ground, trees cast never-ending shadows in every direction Lily looked. She shone the light of her wand in front of her, shining on a small creature that quickly ran up the nearest tree trunk. Several times something moved near her, and she jumped, her wand posed and ready to strike. But it was always a spider or a bird. At some point she could have sworn she saw something picking at the grass to her left, but when she shined her wand that direction, there was nothing. Time took care of her nervous stance. She was too tired, and too cold, to think about what might be lurking in these dark shadows. Her eyes stung with tears occasionally as the slow minutes passed into even longer hours, but Lily refused to cry.

At some point Lily stopped shaking and her body felt oddly warm. Her dry, poached throat didn't scream for liquid anymore. Her wand tip dimmed, but she managed to command it back to life.

It was hours before she heard the first rustle of leaves being stepped on. Lily had come to terms with the fact that she may freeze to death by morning. She had stopped shivering now, and her feet and fingers were unfeeling. The skin on her arms had turned an odd shade of blue and purple and were surely frostbitten. She stared numbly ahead, her still lit wand gripped in her hand, waiting for something. Something to happen, or for her mind to completely shut down. It was so cold.

There was definitely noise behind her now, and too frozen to feel properly scared, Lily lifted her head towards the sound as it approached. Through the clearing she seen the silhouette of a man, bare chested, with slightly long blonde hair. She blinked, sure this was a dream.

The man came closer, but as he did, the sound of hooves reached Lily's ears and she nearly laughed at the thought. Hooves? Surely she was dreaming now. "Are you Lily?" the man... no, horse, asked. He had a horse body. A centaur. Lily wished she could feel properly excited, but lacked the energy to be anything more than slightly surprised.

She tried to speak, to tell him yes, she was Lily and definitely lost. But the only thing she could do was groan. The centaur came closer quickly, looking concerned. "There are boys here, looking for you. Can you walk?" he asked worriedly, the moonlight played on his platinum blonde hair as he bent towards her.

Lily managed to nod her head, but when she attempted to stand, her legs gave way and she fell to the ground. The centaur came closer, reaching a hand out and Lily was suddenly thrown by the force of a chill. She blinked, looking around with the feeling that her head was moving faster than the space around her. Across from her was a cloaked figure leaning over something so purely white that Lily blinked several times before realizing what it was. She gasped, covering her mouth with both hands to keep from vomiting.

There was a scream followed in quick succession by a whine and Lily whipped her head around just in time to see a boy and a dog running from the clearing, leaving another boy behind. Lily edged closer. Just like her last vision, Lily seen James standing before her, but he seemed younger, somehow. She looked closer. The boy, James, looked scared. He was staring past Lily, but with eyes that weren't James'... they were green... a familiar green...

Suddenly the boy fell to his knees, holding his forehead. At the same time something came galloping up from behind, and Lily seen the centaur again, only this time he was attacking whatever had been harming the unicorn. Once the cloak figure had fled, he turned back to the boy on the ground. "Are you all right?" he asked, bending down and helping the boy up.

"Yes -- thank you -- what was that?"

The centaur didn't answer right away, giving Lily more time to study the boy in front of her. He looked so much like James. Like James had looked when she had first met him in Diagon Alley. Yet, there were differences. A scar stood vividly on his forehead, clearly visibly through his hair. And his eyes... He had Lily's eyes.

Lily gasped and just as suddenly as she had been standing in front of the boy, she was again on the cold ground, the centaur that was in her vision standing above her. He had his hand on her arm, which he recoiled quickly as he touched her. His blue eyes widened sharply as he studied Lily for a moment. Then he seemed to come back to the here and now. "I'll get help." And before Lily could speak, he galloped away.

It seemed ages passed as Lily laid on the cold ground. For a few seconds she thought perhaps she had died. There was no feeling left anywhere, she was scarcely aware of her own breathing. Over and over again she seen the boy that was in her vision. Who was he? Why did he look so much like James, but with her own eyes? It didn't make sense. She must have just dreamed, because of her befuddled mind. It was the cold air, the scene of hopelessness that had trapped her mind in that dream. Not a vision. Because there was no way... Suddenly voices drifted to her and with an extreme effort she opened her eyes. Standing above her was the centaur again, as well as James, Sirius and Remus.

She faintly heard James say, "Peter, go tell Madam Pomfrey. Hurry!" Then she was being lifted up in Sirius' arms where she gratefully passed out.

***

Lily awoke to bright sunlight pouring in through the high windows of the infirmary. She blinked, her head beginning to pound seconds after she awoke. There were heated blankets laying over her, and a tray of potions sat on the bedside table. She tried to sit up, but her movements startled the person beside her bed and he sat straight up, blinking owlishly. "You're awake," Remus muttered, rubbing his eyes. He looked even more worn out than she felt.

Lily's head was throbbing fit to burst. Her eyes stung painfully in the sunlight, but her body felt warm, like she had eased into a hot bath. "What happened?" she asked. Her voice didn't sound right to her ears; it sounded rough and dry. She licked her lips, only to find them also cracked with lack of moisture. Remus offered her a cup of water which she drank a bit thankfully. "Thanks."

"No problem," Remus replied, sitting the cup down on the bedside table. He studied Lily thoughtfully. "Do you remember anything?"

Lily closed her eyes, trying to think back to what she last remembered. The memories were scarce, and mixed with visions of a boy that looked remarkably like James, but with green eyes... a centaur... sitting on a cold tree stump, thinking that she was dying... "I was in the forest," Lily began.

A voice interrupted her. "Miss Evans, thank goodness you're awake! Mr. Lupin, I would have thought you would have fetched me the second her eyes opened," Madam Pomfrey scolded him, wagging a finger for a second before reaching up to feel of Lily's forehead. She lit her wand and peered into Lily's eyes. "Can't believe... don't know what you were doing in the forest..."

Remus rolled his eyes behind Madam Pomfrey, making slashing movements across his throat. Lily forced her face neutral, lest she burst out laughing. Suddenly the matron turned around. "Out! Get out Lupin! I have to see to my patient." And she forcibly pushed on his shoulders. "Go tell everyone else that she is awake, so they can stop sneaking in here at all hours of the day and night!"

Remus went, albeit, not very quietly. A few moments later Madam Pomfrey came back, looking harassed. "Oh, those boys. I just don't know what do to with them," she muttered, more to herself than to Lily. She continued to busy herself over the tray of potions, and Lily had a sinking feeling that she was about to have one shoved down her throat. "Had to run Potter out of here at three in the morning when he should have been in bed. And the Headmaster! Ha! Scolding him like he was someone delicate. It would do him a world of good to get a detention for running about like that..."

"James was in here at three in the morning?" Lily asked, interrupting the matron's mad rambling. "How long have I been here?"

Madam Pomfrey measured out a beaker of potion and handed it to Lily. "Two days," she answered briskly, pursing her lips. "Well? Drink up!"

Lily felt the woman's eyes boring into her to be sure every last drop found itself in her stomach. She bit back the sour taste the potion left behind and tried to keep her eyes opened. Pomfrey took the beaker and pushed Lily down on the pillows. "Sleep now. I daresay you'll have visitors soon enough."

Lily wanted to stay awake, to ask more questions, but the softness of the pillow and the darkness behind her lids became too much for her and before she knew it, she was asleep.

It seemed no time had passed before Lily heard voices and awareness began returning to her potion induced mind. Someone was poking her in the arm repeatedly. "Stop it!" a voice hissed.

"Naw, she's awake. She's just pretending," another voice answered, laughter evident in his voice. She was poked again, this time harder.

"I'm going to hex you," Lily muttered, opened her eyes and blinking several times to focus the room. Sirius was bent over her, grinning broadly. "Ugh, I'd hate to wake up to that every morning."

"It's not so bad when you get used to it," Remus remarked drying. He was standing at the foot of the bed with Peter. Remus scrunched his face up in disgust. "On second thought, it really is..."

"Oy! Give a bloke a break, would you? I can't help it I'm so devilishly handsome!" Sirius retorted, puffing his chest out proudly.

Lily turned her head and caught James' gaze. He shook his head sadly. "I tried to leave him in the common room, but he followed us."

"A regular stray dog," Remus added, nodding thoughtfully.

Sirius sent a glare his way. "An adorable stray, don't you think, Lily?"

Lily didn't answer right away. Her gaze was focused on a black haired girl who had just come around the edge of the curtain, gripping a book so tightly in her hands that her knuckles were turning white. Remus gave her a small smile. "It's time for us to go. People to see, things to blow up and all that," he said, tugging on Sirius' sleeve. Peter followed along, leaving James standing beside Lily's bed. Kassie had disappeared around the curtain again with the other three boys. Lily could faintly hear them whispering.

James was still looking at her oddly. "See you later Lil," he said, studying Lily a moment. Suddenly he leaned down and placed a small kiss on her forehead.

The redhead blinked in surprise, a warm feeling blossoming in her chest and spreading rapidly throughout her body faster than the warming potions Madam Pomfrey had given her. But before Lily could properly grasp what had just happened, James had turned and left. The door to the infirmary shut loudly, sounding like the banging of a cannon.

Lily swallowed down over the lump in her throat and tried to fight the blush that threatened to stain her cheeks red. Kassie had reappeared at the edge of the bed once more, biting her bottom lip.

"Hi," Lily said in a small voice that struggled to stay neutral.

Kassie's violet eyes didn't move from Lily, but her hand tightened even more on the books she held. She seemed undecided if she should move forward, or bolt for the door. Her eyes didn't meet Lily's for several long, silent moments. Then finally she whispered; "Hi."

Lily didn't know what Kassie was expecting her to do. When she had been in the forest, freezing and numb all at the same time, there was a million things she wanted to say to her best friend. But now that she had the chance, the words refused to form. Finally she settled on a "What book is that?"

Kassie seemed grateful for the distraction. She stepped forward, pulling the book away from her with what appeared to be great effort and showing the title to Lily. Everything You Didn't Ever Want to Know About the Wizarding World. Lily chuckled to herself. "I thought that you might be a bit bored," Kassie began awkwardly, offering the thick leather bound book to Lily.

"Thank you for bringing it to me," Lily said, taking it from her and placing it on the bedside table. "I never did get to read about the butterbeer."

Kassie smiled slightly, seemingly taking comfort in the fact that Lily hadn't screamed, yelled or thrown a fit yet. "Listen, Lily, I'm sorry about the way I acted. You shouldn't have to tell me everything, and I--"

"No," Lily interrupted, holding her hand up. "I should have explained myself. I'm sorry."

There was an awkward moment that disappeared quickly as Kassie flung herself at Lily, giving her a bone crushing hug. "I'm so glad you're all right! When Remus told me that they found you in the forest and--" she trailed off, sniffing loudly and sitting back on the edge of the bed to allow Lily to breathe. "What was you thinking? Going into the Dark forest at night, anyways?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's a long story with a short fuse. Let's just say I'm not too keen to do that ever again."

Kassie studied Lily for a moment with pursed lips that reminded Lily forcibly of Petunia, but it disappeared quickly. Lily realized her mistake, though. She leaned forward. "Look, Kassie, I'm not ready to talk about it. But I will tell you, ok?"

Kassie nodded and hugged Lily again. "It's ok," she muttered distractedly. She leaned back, glancing around the infirmary. "Well, I have a session with Trelawney--"

"Professor Trelawney, Miss Phillips," a voice said. Both girls jumped at the voice and whipped their heads around to see the Headmaster standing at the foot of Lily's bed. Neither had noticed him. He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling lively in the sunlight that bathed the bed Lily laid in. He surveyed them for a moment over the brim of his half moon glasses. "I would like a word alone with Miss Evans, if I may?"

"Of course!" Kassie said, standing quickly and accidentally pulling some of Lily's blanket with her. She threw Lily an awkward grin, promised to visit again later, and departed at top speed.

Lily averted her eyes to Professor Dumbledore, half of her afraid she would be in trouble, and the other half knowing she would be. Night time exertions in the Dark Forest wasn't something that most students got away with. She swallowed as Dumbledore extracted a small box of Sherbert Lemons from his robe pocket and picked one out. "How are you feeling?" he asked finally, placing the small candy in his mouth.

Lily felt her guard rise, even though she knew better. "I feel much better," she answered honestly, nervously picking at a loose thread in the blanket. Another moment of silence stretched and Lily finally decided to break it. "Am I in trouble?"

"Trouble?" the older wizard asked, seemingly taken aback, though Lily felt that very little ever surprised the Headmaster. "Whatever for?"

"Going into the Dark Forest," Lily replied, feeling a blush heat her cheeks. "And nearly killing myself in the process."

Dumbledore again studied her, eating another Sherbert Lemon. He seem to be savoring every last flavor, making Lily wait anxiously as he did so. Finally he swallowed. "I was under the impression," he began, his eyes once more twinkling reassuringly. "That you found yourself in the forest quite by accident. And I'm not usually in the habit of punishing accidents. They do happen to even the best of us. I remember once, my brother and I were trying a bit of what Muggles call ice fishing, I believe," He thought for a moment, and shook his head. "Something like that. And we accidentally fell through a patch of thin ice. I daresay that if my parents punished us for it, I don't remember. I do recall, however, my mother being terribly happy that we didn't freeze to death."

His voice dropped off and Lily stared at him incredibly for a moment. The Headmaster said nothing while waiting for Lily to digest his story. Slowly, she smiled. "Thank you."

Dumbledore smiled warmly, holding out a box. "Sherbert Lemon?"

"No, thank you," Lily replied.

"Oh, come now. Take one. They're rather good."

So Lily took a Sherbert Lemon, chewing on it absentmindedly as Professor Dumbledore bid her good day and left the infirmary. Exhausted, she settled down in the comforts of the warm bed, her thoughts blissfully pleasant for the first time in months.

--End Chapter 22.

And so ends the chapter I figured everyone would either really like or really hate. Take your pick. :) Year three is wrapping up, year four promises to be a tad interesting -- and just think! We're getting close to year 6, and everyone who is waiting so patiently (ok, not so patiently! lol) for fluff, will finally be happy!

Huge thanks to my editors Kate and Mitchy! As well as everyone who reviews, everyone who has joined the Lilyupdate group, or who has ever emailed me about my story! What? You haven't joined the update group?? Shame on you! If you'd like to, send an email to [email protected]

Chapter 23 may be a bit off in coming along, I've been kinda busy and haven't had a good chance to sit down and work on it. But in the mean time, review! :D

Btw -- quick call to anyone who can draw. I'm recruiting for some fanart for my story. I would like to see some scenes from the story. If I get enough sent in (three max. from different people) I plan on having a contest with some Harry Potter prizes given out to the one voted best. So get the fanart rolling in!

<3 Bethany
11.7.03