Between the Lines

Between the Lines

Chapter Five - Days Come and Go

Always
October Project

I have come to know you
Over all these years
We've seen many days come and go
After all the time we've shared,
All the secrets told,
Will you ever say I love you?

If you gave me nothing,
Nothing more than this,
I would have the memory to keep
Let me make a simple wish
As we fall asleep
Let me wake with you by my side

Always.
If you have to leave me,
Leave me with a kiss
Tell me how you feel without words
Are you so afraid to stay,
Must you be alone
Let me wake with you by my side

Always.

---

Sirius fixed them a simple dinner that evening, after spending almost the whole day in bed, talking, making love, resting, dozing, rediscovering one another, napping again. As the full moons over the summer had done, their night together as wolf and dog had brought them even closer, made Sirius more confident and self-assured, made them both more secure in their relationship. Remus ventured downstairs in dressing gown and slippers while Sirius was in the kitchen, looking much rested. They worked together, sharing only those words necessary to cook, but with nothing of the awkwardness of their first few meals together after Sirius arrived at Owl Nook.

As he pulled out a colander to drain the pasta, Remus smiled at the memory of their first breakfast. He had tried to draw Sirius out, stupidly he realised too late at the time, by asking Sirius if he wanted onions in the eggs. When Sirius, who hated onions, merely shrugged and said, "Whatever," Remus jokingly accused him of being an impostor. His ridiculous attempts to make Sirius laugh had no effect other than frustrating his lover, but eventually, they found something to chuckle over: the toast. Sirius had set the toaster to brown too long, and the toast came out impossibly burnt. Somehow, Remus had made a joke of it, which Sirius reciprocated, but what Remus remembered most was the long time afterward, after Sirius had let the toast fall in favour of wrapping his arms around Remus in a discomforting, desperate embrace. They had stood in the kitchen a long time, just clinging to one another, while the eggs burned in the pan and Remus whispered encouragingly in Sirius's ear.

Sirius filled up two plates and brought them into the dining room. Remus followed with silverware and a packet of grated cheese. Sirius returned a few minutes later with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you're ready for that?" he asked solemnly.

Sirius grinned. "I thought you liked wine with pasta," he said innocently.

The werewolf blushed. "Oh, I see," he said. "Trying to get me liquored up, is that it?" He knew as well as Sirius did that they used to have something every night, whether it was just a butterbeer or a glass of wine or a pint of lager. Sirius had avoided alcohol all summer, and Remus, out of respect or deference or because of some demons of his own, had not indulged either.

Sirius latched on to the backward flirtation as he did with any avenue of humour Remus opened, enjoying how easy it felt to tease and joke, how normal. They had been friends long before they became lovers, and the slightly sarcastic way they used to poke fun at one another always felt more comfortable than the sincere, sentimental talk other couples used. Most of the time, at least. Sirius thought about his note, secreted under the "pet name list," and how sappy he'd become in its lines. He forced away his blush, using it instead to fire a quick retort back at Moony.

"Well, you know, you're so frigid when you're not drunk… I was hoping you'd put out."

Remus beamed at him. "Frigid, am I? You're lucky it's just after a full moon, Black, or you'd be wearing that sauce." He pulled Sirius down to his face and kissed him hard. "On your back," he clarified, "while I held you down and ravished you."

"Ooh…" Sirius said, finding his chair. "That sounds good. Please? Maybe after dinner?"

They ate quickly.

Remus woke at some point in the night, Sirius by his side and snoring lightly. They had managed to make their way upstairs after dinner - well, after three tries - and spent themselves a last time before Remus became too exhausted to move. He dropped off to sleep almost as soon as Sirius had crawled into his arms. He didn't think either one of them had moved since. Their arms and legs were so tangled up, he couldn't tell from looking what belonged to whom. He moved his right arm experimentally and discovered that it was very close to Sirius's buttocks, which he caressed absently, settling his head back underneath Sirius's chin. His lover's scent was still sharp in his nostrils, the wolf slowly receding, but still powerful enough to enhance his senses. He kissed the hollow of Sirius's neck and fell back to sleep.

The next morning dawned grey and cold. A weak sun filtered through the window onto Remus's face, just enough to wake him before he wished to do. Ordinarily, he had no luxury of dozing lazily and lounging around, half-asleep. It was one of the curious side effects of lycanthropy that he when he woke, he woke completely. But the moon's aftermath practically reversed that peculiar effect of the bite, replacing his customary alertness with lethargy. He closed his eyes, content to lie there in a half-dreaming trance until Sirius awoke. But his stomach disagreed. Beside him, Sirius stirred slightly. They had changed positions in sleep, so that now Remus lay slightly higher against the pillows than Sirius, whose head rested against Remus's shoulder. Remus woke him with a kiss.

"Mmm…" Sirius purred as he became aware of his lover. "I could get used to this…."

"Mm… me, too," Remus agreed. He glanced out the window at the grey, dreary sky and remembered what day it was. Sunday. Their weekend was almost gone. He sighed. "What time do you have to leave?" he asked, not wanting to hear the answer, but knowing it was better to get the itinerary out of the way. His stomach growled again.

"Not till later. We've got most of the day, love." Sirius yawned and woke up reluctantly. He sat up and stretched his arms ceilingward, affording Remus a delicious glimpse of his ribcage and underarm hair. Remus reached up and tenderly stroked a nipple, bringing Sirius back to him.

"Good," he said selfishly. His stomach growled a third time, but he still didn't want to move, just yet. He was used to spending the day after the moon resting, not expending his energy at lovemaking as quickly as he could build it back up again. A sudden thought occurred to him, even as Sirius arranged himself around him. He smiled impishly. "So you can fix me breakfast, then."

Sirius grunted, availing himself of Remus's bare chest to rub his nose against a nipple, suckling it briefly. "Are you sure you want to risk that?" He asked, licking a line from Remus's chest to his navel. "It seems to me breakfast foods just up and run when they see me coming..." He began to snuffle his way lower.

Remus twitched and giggled. "You did all right, over the summer," he said, unable to suppress a yawn. Lord, he was tired. "Just don't make toast … or eggs … hm," he concluded thoughtfully. "Perhaps cereal is more your speed, after all…." He felt his eyes close again, unable to stay awake.

Sirius seemed not to have heard him, so deeply he was considering his ability to make breakfast. "Hmm…" he assessed himself dubiously. "Okay I'll give it a go.…" He leapt out of bed, feeling youthful and carefree, for a change. He adopted a broad imitation of a gentleman's gentleman. "And so, Sir, what would you like in your eggs?" he asked snootily.

Remus only heard the last bit, fading in and out of sleep. "Eggs? Oh, well, if you think you can tame them… yes, go on, Jeeves, old man, give us a peck and then, on with the tucker, eh?" he quipped back, echoing Sirius's imitation.

"So, eggs, sir?" Sirius asked with a sunny smile, anticipating their inside joke. Then he realised that Remus had also ordered a kiss, so he obliged, though he was sure P.G. Wodehouse's itinerant gentleman had never asked such a favour of his valet.

"That's no egg," Remus concluded sleepily. "That's better than eggs."

"Thank you, Sir. But it doesn't answer the question. Sir." Sirius struggled to keep a straight face, considering that he was still nude.

"What question was that?" Remus asked, disoriented because he'd been half asleep. "When, oh when shall I fuck you again? Or did you mean, how soon after breakfast will you be able to drive me wild with passion?"

Sirius laughed. Remus was rarely so tired that he missed the opportunity to maintain an old routine. "What? No, silly! Not now... you wanted eggs... breakfast... Oh hell..." He gave up, giggling.

Remus reached out from the bed and seized Sirius's waist, pulling him back into bed with him. "PROTEIN!" He yelled in a mockingly ferocious, growling, pretend-fury.

"Yes - protein: eggs, not me!" Sirius laughed as his lover began to gnaw on him ridiculously. "So what do you want?" He repeated, deciding that even by his current standard, Remus was slow on the uptake.

"Protein," Remus repeated. "Breakfast. Then you." He was still thinking viscerally.

"Yes - but with your protein... your *eggs,* what would you like? And then you can have me..."

"Sirius, you're not listening to me. I don't care. Food." Remus nipped the other's shoulder, chewing his way up his neck.

"Okay - so I should just root around in your ice box? I may come up with something truly horrible, you know..." Sirius confirmed, giving up on the game and pulling himself out of the bed before he could no longer resist his lover's wild behaviour.

Remus pushed him even as he withdrew, kicking out a leg playfully. "FOOD!" he demanded.

Sirius retreated, finding a dressing gown and throwing it around himself as he went out. "Yes, Sahib, coming right up!" he said on his way.

"Hey, Sabu!" Remus exclaimed when Sirius was halfway down the stairs. Sirius halted, calling back up questioningly. "No onions!" Remus ordered, sending Sirius laughing the rest of the way down. The world was perfect.

When he came back up over half an hour later with a tray, Remus was fast asleep again. "Moony?" he called from the bedside. "Puppy?"

Remus drew in a deep cleansing breath in his sleep. The smell of food must have hit him, because he opened his eyes and sat up immediately. "Yessss!" he exclaimed, reaching out for the tray.

"It's nothing fancy, love," Sirius warned him, surrendering the platter and admiring the view. He watched silently as Remus fell to eating with a will, assuring him that it was fine. It was some time before he looked up from the tray to see Sirius, following his every movement.

"Did you eat already?" Remus asked, swallowing hastily. He looked abashed that he hadn't waited for Sirius.

"Oh. I ate the one that didn't come out so well," Sirius explained, indicating the omelette that Remus had fairly demolished. "I've had my fill of carbon," he shrugged. "Thanks."

Remus looked up sharply. "You could have started another one," he said gently.

"I did. You're eating it." Sirius smiled, proud of himself.

"For you, puppy," Remus insisted. "You could have made a fresh one for yourself."

Sirius shrugged again, waving the statement away with a careless hand. "I've et worse." He was rewarded with a swift, but fervent, kiss. "Mmm…this I can do," he said, moving to sit on the bed beside Remus, who finished eating more sedately after that.

When he pushed away his plate, sighing, he thanked Sirius sincerely. Sirius blushed a bit, but didn't look away. "You are always very welcome, love... Better?"

"Much. Thanks."

"Good."

A short silence rested between them: Remus content and fed; Sirius content to be nearby and useful. Then Remus drew in another deep breath, stretching, and asked, "Now… what's next on the list?"

"Sex?" Sirius asked with a hopeful look, much like the look he used as Padfoot when he wanted to play.

"Mm... Is that it? Maybe.... I think it had something to do with an S...." Remus baited him.

"I know... You were going to have at Sam! Nice married man that he is..." Sirius moved the tray to the floor, so certain was he of the next agenda item.

"I don't think so.... I've never been a homewrecker. Well, besides the time I tore up the Blue Room when I was six.... Let's see... S.... S....Spell? No, that's not it," he teased him with a sidelong look.

"But what if he wants you to? Go on... wreck his home... Sex. Now... C'mon, Moony..." And with a laugh, he tackled his lover.

"Oh, yeah, I could definitely get used to this," Sirius said again with a laugh as Remus fell against the sheets later. They twisted their fingers together, settling against each other's shoulders.

"Can we stay like this all day?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded happily, but before he could answer, they heard the bell ring.

Neither of them moved at first, except that Remus stiffened ever so slightly. Sirius could almost imagine Remus's spine straightening in silent irritation at the interruption.

"Do you want to ignore that?" Sirius asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes," Remus said lazily, but with an undercurrent of regret.

"Are you going to?" He knew the answer to that one, too.

"No, I suppose not," it came predictably. Remus smiled and stretched.

"Want me to go?" Sirius offered in one last attempt to recapture their plan. Besides, it had been only one day since the full moon, and his voice betrayed his concern.

"Oh, no need," Remus replied, waving a hand impatiently. "It won't be a student, and the staff know I'll be moving slowly today." he leaned over and kissed Sirius on his way to sitting up. "Where's my bathrobe?"

A few seconds later, Remus cinched his belt around his waist on the way down the stairs. He pulled the collar a little closer around him, peering out at Marius on his doorstep.

"Good morning," he said cheerily as he opened the door.

"Morning," Marius said. "How do you feel?" Remus let him in and closed the door.

"I'll be all right," Remus shrugged. "What can I do for you?"

Marius grimaced. "Is your cousin still here? I mean, has he left yet?"

"Er…no, not until later today," Remus said, hastily following Marius's glance into the front room. The sofa was the only other place to sleep, but it was not made up as an extra bed. He sought a quick explanation. "He's just in the shower. Why - did you need him for something?"

"Well…I'm sorry to interrupt your visit…but some of the kids heard that Sam's a recruiter. They've put together an impromptu Quidditch match and…well, they've asked me to find out if Sam could watch." He reddened a bit at the imposition.

"Ah," Remus drew a long breath. He wondered just exactly how the students had found out, but it didn't matter. "Well…when have they scheduled this exhibition?"

"This afternoon, depending on Sam, of course. I know he's a busy man, though, so…well, if he can't stay to see them? I'll explain it to the students."

It sounded to Remus as if the students weren't the ones who'd need consoling if Sirius refused. So much for begging off whatever it was - "Sam" was healthy and supposedly rested, and there was no good reason he should not see what the Academy had to offer. "I'm sure it's no trouble," he heard himself saying, and asked Marius to have a seat in the parlour. "I'll see if he's done with his shower," he continued, "and I'll ask him. Excuse me."

All the way up the stairs, all Remus could think was, "Damn."

Few students elected to view the exhibition. Aside from the chilly breeze and the threatening clouds, Quidditch's lack of popularity made studying indoors more attractive that day. But a scattering pocked the viewing stands around the pitch. Fourteen aspiring players arranged themselves in hasty teams in the hope that Professor Lupin's cousin might see something he liked.

"Professor Lupin!" An elderly woman yoo-hooed and waved at them as Remus and Sirius climbed the risers.

Remus grinned at Sirius. "That's our headmistress. Come on," he tugged Sirius by the sleeve of his coat. Sirius didn't move. He looked across the pitch at the knots of people, his head shaking slightly from side to side. "Sam?" Remus said softly, patting his arm. "Sam? Come along and meet Edina."

Sirius blinked and looked at Remus as ifhe had just woken from a long nap. "What's that?" he asked, still sounding a bit disoriented.

Remus lowered his voice so only Sirius could hear. "You're used to larger crowds, remember?" he reminded Sirius gently. "Are you all right?"

Sirius nodded with determination. "Yes. I'll be…I'm fine."

"Good," Remus nodded back. "Then come on and meet my boss."

Edina Agglesbury was a plump but sprightly woman who appeared to be in her seventies. She had long whitening hair, which she wore unbound except for a silver barrette that kept the top section off her face. She wore long sweeping earrings decorated in feathers and bone. A turquoise bracelet and a large turquoise ring adorned her left wrist and hand.

"Remus, dear boy," she greeted the diffident professor as he ascended to her box.

"Edina," Remus said, a smile spreading across his face.

"And this is your cousin," she cocked her head around Remus to beam at Sirius.

"Yes. Sam Lupin, allow me to present Headmistress Edina Agglesbury," he said formally.

"Delighted to meet you." She sounded it, too, and Sirius couldn't resist returning her broad smile as he kissed the offered hand. "Please, sit with us," Edina continued. "Daniel should be back in just a moment." Sirius wanted to ask who Daniel might be, but didn't get the chance. Edina went on: "We so rarely see anyone in these parts who is interested in Quidditch - professionally, that is - that the students are eager to show off. I do hope you don't mind."

Sirius knew full well that he would much rather be in bed with Remus, and he strongly suspected Remus felt the same. But something about Edina's brightness was infectious, and he found himself shaking his head. "It's quite all right," he told her, letting Remus sit between them. "I probably would have just stayed in bed all day, otherwise."

Another man came toward them, his long legs taking two risers at a step. His hair was also white, whiter than Edina's, and he had feathers braided into it in places. The hair straggled out around his shoulders, but the longest bead and feather combination extended halfway down his back. He wore a cloak made of some kind of animal skin, turned inside out so that the fur was the lining, and the tough leather formed the shell. His boots were wrapped in fur as well. When he looked up at the small group, his face was quite dark complected and very wrinkled with age.

"Ah, Daniel," Edina said, standing to meet him, and the two kissed. It was a comfortable kiss, Sirius thought before he looked away out of politeness. It made him wonder whether he and Remus would still kiss like that when they were that old. Would they still be that much in love?

Eventually they broke and smiled at the other two. "Sam, this is Daniel Minquatoquay," Remus volunteered, "our aboriginal magic specialist."

Daniel took Sirius's hand to shake it, but then did not let go. He cocked his head, slightly, like a bird, and scrutinised the wizard. It was the only possible description: his look was far too penetrating and intense to be anything else. Sirius did his best to hold up under the man's gaze, but he felt immensely uncomfortable, and he could tell that Daniel knew it.

After what seemed ages, Daniel let go. "You are very loyal to your cousin, to do so much you did not come to do," he observed.

"Sam is a perfect gentleman, from all I hear," Edina contributed, with an air of gossip. "I'm sure he would have told us if this was terribly inconvenient," she continued, taking Daniel's hand and pulling him to sit next to her.

"Telling tales on me again, Coz," Sirius covered his discomfort with an attempt at a joke.

"Oh, no - Remus is decidedly secretive about his family," Edina winked as she said this. "No, I heard your praises sung by another source entirely."

"Eddie, stop teasing him," Daniel interjected. He looked over her head at the two men. "Claire came by for lunch yesterday," he said kindly.

The match began then, saving Sirius further embarrassment. Remus glanced at him wryly, as if to apologise for everything from the activity to the gossip to not being able to hold his hand as Edina and Daniel were doing. But the players took up position, a 12th-grade referee released the balls, and they were off.

They had a reason to show off, absolutely. Watching them, Sirius was sorry he had lied, giving them false hope. They weren't quite as fast as the professional players in England, but some of them showed real promise.

"That keeper - the blond one," he pointed out to Remus. "He's quite good."

Remus smiled. "Alexander. He's an all 'round good student."

The opposing chaser recaptured the quaffle and zoomed toward Alexander's goalposts. Alexander turned his broom in mid-air and flew back to cover his goal. "Hang on," said Sirius, "I've seen him before. He showed me the way to your office."

"Did he?" Remus replied with an assessing frown. But a chaser screamed past on her broom and the match took their attention again.

After almost an hour, Janice Moore caught the Snitch. As they stood, stretching, stamping cold out of their joints, Edina thanked Sirius warmly for watching the game, but Daniel levelled him with another kind, but assessing, look.

"Your journey will be long, friend," he pronounced, "but not impossible."

"Er…yes," Sirius said, unsure what to say. "Thank you."

"Oh, don't pay Daniel too much mind," Edina said breezily. "He's just returned from a regional gathering of tribal elders, and he's been mystical for days, haven't you, dearest?"

Daniel smiled at her in amusement, and nodded, but did not take his eyes away from Sirius. "Sam knows what I mean."

The way he said, "Sam" sent a shock through Remus. It was as if Daniel didn't believe in the alias. Daniel was at times frighteningly perceptive. Remus cleared his throat. "Enjoyable as the match was, Sam, you probably want to finish packing and get underway."

"Yes," Sirius said immediately, chancing a grateful glance at his lover. "It was a fine match, really," he said to Edina, trying to sound professional. "Your students are coming along nicely."

They exchanged one or two more platitudes, then got away quickly, taking a little time to tour the grounds before achieving the sanctuary of Remus's little house. After a late luncheon, they reluctantly said goodbye. Remus watched Sirius trek cross the grounds and out of sight. The rain, which had held off all day, started a few hours later.

---

Sam Lupin
Owl Nook
Somerset, GB

26 October, 1995

Dear Sirius,

You've gone. I've been wandering about like a ghost, unable to decide what to do next. This morning, you were here, and I woke up next to you, and the world settled into place and felt right. Now it's evening and I watched you lope away an hour ago and I wanted more than anything to keep you here. But as ever there is important work to do and we can't be selfish.

I keep thinking how peculiar it is that we both missed music so much. Before, I never thought about it - but when I was alone, I couldn't bring myself to listen to any for a long time. I finally let it penetrate again, gradually, especially since to teach one must keep up with students' interests. I suppose I started keeping a catalogue of playdiscs to acquire ever since. Despite everything else, though, I seem never to have lost the habit of dividing all music into two categories: Sirius would like it; Sirius would not like it.

So now I'm sitting here and the fire is crackling away and it's all very idyllic, except that you are on the road once more, cold and alone. My body still aches from the transformation night before last, and I'm afraid we're both out of practice (and shape) at these marathon sessions, filling up on each other as much as we can in such short spaces.

When did you and I turn into old men? I am appalled - it's unworthy of Maraudership. Right: a little James Taylor, I think, and perhaps a spot of supper.

Later -

Oh, Padfoot. You silly old dog. I found your note. I don't know whether to thump you or kiss you over this one, but as you're not here where I can lay hold of you, I shall have to choose neither. I think instead I shall tease you mercilessly. "Sugarbutt?" I'm sure I never heard anything of the sort - I didn't even know such a word existed in your vocabulary. As for the others, definitely be flattered. Though my sweet tooth never rivalled either James' or Peter's, I've et my share of candies in my time, and your kisses are better. Which brings me back to the more serious parts.

I know, love. I do know exactly how you feel - about all of it. Yes, you silly poet, you damned infuriating fool, you heart-breakingly beautiful friend, you are my heart as well. I am coming home at Christmas; I've just decided. I will *not* spend another holiday without you to share it. For that indulgence, at least, I think I can be a little selfish. Let me look: full moon is the 20th December. Exams will be the previous week… yes. I think I can manage it, if I've turned in my term grades before then. I'll be well enough to travel on the 22nd and be home late that night.

Do you think I'm foolish to make plans so far ahead, when we don't know where you'll be by that time? I don't. I keep remembering something Lily said when she told me she was expecting. I asked her if she and James thought it wise, under the circumstances, to start a family. She just smiled, you know the look I mean, and she said, "If not now, when?" But then she stopped quoting Kabbalah at me and said something about how we need our hopes, need to push through and live, or we are as good as defeated. How we cannot let a trifling war get in the way of what is important. Very Lily. And as usual, very right. We need to hope, love. We need things to look forward to, like being able to garden together, or dance again in each other's arms, or provide Harry with a home where he is welcomed and loved and safe. We need hope.

So let's make a plan to meet up at the Nook for Christmas, shall we? Perhaps I can pop up to the Park and see what the new owners are doing with the big old place. You did say the renovations had started? I hope they do the thing properly; it is, after all, my birthplace, and I should like to see it back in its glory again. Do you remember the holiday Peter locked James in the passage off the old servants' quarters? Lucky James found the route to the kitchens, and not the master bedroom, or my parents would have been even angrier.

That reminds me, the map. It's hard to get it going, because of that charm on the school for teachers. I can't just wander around, really, because the minute I think of a destination, the path takes me there. I've got the drawings you made, but of course that's just a portion of the school. I'm not sure really why I'm doing this, Padfoot, and I still take umbrage with that whole, "the mischief keeps you young" comment you made this afternoon - was it only this afternoon? - when you asked for a tour. I know I'm going grey, thank you. By the time this whole business is through, I expect to be as white as Dumbledore, with all the worry you put me to.

Listen to me, going on. You're bare miles away and already I'm nervous as an old aunt for you. Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday, as I shall be too busy teaching about boggarts and hex deflection and protections against yetis to think about anything else.

Speaking of classes, I still have rather a number of essays to grade. There were more important priorities distracting me the last couple days. A pleasant diversion, certainly, but after all, I'm not getting paid to frolic on mountainsides, am I?

I'll close this now and send it in the morning. With luck, it might even get to the Nook before you hare off again. Seeing you, having you here, was beyond words, puppy. Take care, and we shall meet again soon.

Love,

Moony

---

Remus J. Lupin
Commonwealth Academy of Magic
Manitoba, Canada

26 October, 1995

Moony,

I just left you a few hours ago. It was like tearing out my heart to leave you there in that dreadfully antiseptic school. I miss you already. I liked the staff I met. Most of them, anyway. It was rather fun playing "Samson Lupin; distant cousin, former school chum" for a few days. I say, it took a bit of remembering to answer to 'Sam'! It was rather like a game. Do you think Daniel suspected anything? The way he looked at me, I'm not sure. And the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that little Claire, Potions Mistress would like to be more than a friend to you, my dear. You always could attract the *intense* ones. Our mysterious Moony, soft-spoken, but with a core of molten fire. Face it, old man, they find you unbearably sexy.

Teasing aside, what will you do about Miss Claire? I only met her briefly, but she doesn't seem one to simply give up. Your usual way of operating, playing dumb until they get bored, may not work on this one. All right, all right, I know. I shall shut up about this now. Under the realm of "not my problem," I know. I shan't say another word unasked for on the subject of pretty little Claire.

I wanted to stay, you know. More than anything I wanted to stay in your little bungalow and make love to you for days. But I have this mission. And you have your students. I will think of our time together as an oasis. A sweet water oasis in the barren desert. I don't know when I'll be able to see you again, but I'll try to make it back to you in the next couple of months. It's difficult. That information web of Dumbledore's I told you about is unorganised. Setting up the rudimentary bits must have been infuriating. I am almost certain that is where the "leak" happened. I am nearly convinced it was not intentional, but we need to train these people more carefully. And recruit more judiciously. It's still very new, but Dumbledore says he has someone in mind to head it from within the Ministry, but that person is currently unavailable. We may not have someone in place before next summer, he tells me. It's a delicate situation all the way around, it seems. Not the least keeping the dual nature of the job from Fudge. Dumbledore still has hope Fudge'll come around, but knows he cannot wait for it. If, and when, the man decides the threat is real, and V. is back, then Dumbledore can include him in Order business. Until such time, we officially don't exist. Did I tell you the new London office for the Order is in the back room of Florean Fortescue's? Order operatives are clerking in the Diagon Alley ice cream parlour! I find that ridiculously funny.

Later…

Thanks for the information on the Haileybury Hammers. My meeting went satisfactorily. I think they'll be valuable. I also stopped by the Fitchburg Finches practice. There may be some possible recruitment there. I'll have to clear it with Dumbledore, though. On my way home, now. It's snowing, and cold. I am wet, and hungry for more than food. And it seems to me I am travelling in the wrong direction, away from you.

Back at Owl Nook! (3 November, 1995)

I am home. But it's not home because you're not here. Imagine my surprise to return home and find a letter waiting for me! I am pleased you found my note. What do you mean you've never heard "Sugarbutt"? Oh, Moony, you missed one of the all time greats!

Christmas! I don't care where I'll be if I can be with you! Yes, come home. Please come home. I don't think it foolish to plan for. Not at all. Lily was right then, and she's right now. Come home for the holiday, love. I need something to hope for. Something to look forward to. Something like you here, in your home, with a fire crackling in the fireplace, and me curled up at your feet… That is a picture I shall carry with me until I see you again.

I do hate to break it to you, now, Moony, but Prongs did indeed find his way to the master bedroom first… Once he realised where he was he turned right around in the passageway determined to find another way out. He thought it… prudent to keep that revelation from you at the time. And yes, the renovations have begun. The old place is all covered in plastic and scaffolding. I can't really tell if they're doing it properly or not. I am not an expert on the way Muggles restore things like houses. If it was anything motorised, it would be a different story, but buildings I know nothing about. They've got a lot of bizarre looking machinery out there (yes, I checked out each piece - wonderfully created and fun to drive!). And the grounds are all torn up at this point. I've seen a lot of people there, though. And I took a peek at some designs they left laying about (all right, all right, I broke in one night to have a look around). The front elevation drawing looked splendid. If it all turns out like the plans, it will be magnificent.

Keep working on the map, love. I know the teacher charms have got to be annoying, but making the map will be diverting. Remember the "draw me" charm we used? Perhaps that will help fill in the bits you can't get. I know it needs to be mostly complete for that spell to work, but it should be a help. It is the reason we found all the secret tunnels out of the school, remember? We only knew about five of the seven. Besides, it will give you something to do when the snow is two meters deep outside.

Ah, love. I've reread this and I've said a bit more than I ought. I'll charm this for your eyes only. If anyone else picks this up they'll find a shopping list! It's a Hogsmeade weekend for Hogwarts and I am able to be there. I am hoping to see Harry. I will let you know how it goes.

Love always,

"Sam"

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TBC...