Iuga Sortis III: The Beginning

Four

He knew before he opened his eyes it was entirely too early to be awake, but it was clear his body didn't care. Sleep had been a precious commodity for him of late, and it seemed as if it would elude him this night as well. He let out an internal sigh and succumbed to his body's wishes, letting his feline eyes adjust to the minimal light coming into the room. The sheer curtains billowed from the warm breeze that wafted into the room. The columns reflected the moonlight, and the shadows of fire-lit torches danced across them. The room was an open space, save for the roof and the columns supporting it, and it was large. He liked the openness; he could never be confined for too long. As it was, he wanted to take a walk now that he was awake, but he hesitated. He lay there a few moments, his body weary but knowing the bed was a cruel thing, taunting his tired body though it could not get the proper rest. He began to rise, but a heavy weight kept him down.

He smiled.

She was a light snorer, but it was an endearing sound. He gazed down at her sleeping form and sent a word of thanks to Ra. She'd been busy for weeks on end, never having enough time to give her body the break it so desperately needed.

"Sleep, my goddess, sleep . . "

He brushed her hair from her face gently, and she let out a long sigh before her breathing became regular again. She'd been running herself ragged, looking for the scattered pieces of her brother up and down the Nile.

Set was a sick bastard.

First, the jealous god traps Osiris in a coffin; now he cuts Osiris's body up and scatters it everywhere. If the bastard thinks this will put him in Isis' good graces, he may want to think again . . .

Not that it would make a difference; Isis would probably kill her "brother" on sight.

He rolled his eyes. Not a tear would be shed from the downfall of Set; he only hoped Osiris reserved a particularly hot place in the underworld for him.

Apedemak eased his arm from behind her head, glad the movement didn't wake her. He waited a few moments before trying to move the rest of his body.

"No . . ."

His breathing grew shallow at her tired cry, and she snuggled closer to him. He lay still until she settled again and tried once more. This time he succeeded, and she now rested fully on the bed. Apedemak kneeled on the side of the bed to gaze at her. Isis' face still had worry lines, but for the most part it was calm. He trailed a finger down one of her cheeks and pulled a stay strand of hair away from it.

"I love you . . ."

Her lips pulled into a faint smile, and his own echoed her movement. He kissed his fingers and placed them to her lips before leaving the room.

The stars seemed especially bright as he gazed upon them, dotting the sky in the millions. He sighed and picked out constellations, trying to see if Ra left him any messages.

"I looked. There's no news."

He turned towards the voice. "Nephthys."

Her fiery hair was pulled back with a leather tie, and her alabaster skin seemed soft in the moonlight. Her gown billowed in the breeze, and she held her wrap over it.

She gave him a sad smile and walked towards him. He opened his arms and hugged her, trying to offer what little comfort he could give. If Isis was mourning, Nephthys was downright wretched. Few times had she left her vulture form, trying to see if its eyes would prove more useful than her human sight--even if it was aided by magic. Her vulture's cry echoed through the cataracts in a heartbreaking moan. Not a creature on earth could deny the goddess's pain.

"How are you, Nephthys?"

"I miss him, Apedemak. I miss him so much!"

"Shh," he cooed. "We will find him and bring him back to you, Nettie. Isis has been working nonstop to help."

She nodded against his chest and sniffled. "I know, Apedemak. She loves him as much as I do, if differently."

He sighed. "And as much as I think of him as a crock and a bull, I wish for his safe return, as well."

Nephthys giggled. "He is a croc and a bull!"

He smiled. "Is that laughter I hear, Nettie? I have missed it so much it sounds foreign!"

She sobered and snuggled closer. "I know it has. There hasn't been much to laugh about. Only thing that's been fit to do is cry. The people are lost without their leader, Apedemak. And I am lost without the man I love."

He cradled her face in his hands and gazed into her eyes. "We will find him, Nettie, all of him. Set will rue the day he tore himself from his mother's womb."

Nephthys snorted. "Not as much as I do. I can't believe I fell for his lies, his schemes! He said he loved me, Apedemak. I was just a pawn in his quest for my sister!"

Apedemak growled, and a small smile came to her face. "He can't have her."

She smirked. "I've always known cats to be a bit possessive, but you really take it a step too far . . you do know your canines have grown and you have whiskers on your face, don't you?"

Apedemak blushed and reverted back to his human form. "Be glad I didn't grow tusks instead!"

"Believe me, I am!"

He smiled again and ran a hand over her cheek. "I know this may seem a bit . . insensitive, but I need your advice."

Her brows furrowed. "On what?"

He sighed heavily. "It's Isis--I'm afraid she's going to do something rash, and I won't be able to stop her."

Nephthys lifted her eyes to the heavens. "Your concerns echo mine, I'm afraid."

He looked off into the distance. "Any ideas, then?"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid the only thing that will make her happy again is to have Osiris back. Aside from that, she's going to work herself into exhaustion."

He frowned at her. "Are you not the least bit jealous she shows such devotion to him?"

She smiled sadly. "Well . . . he is her husband . . ."

"But you love him!"

"As you love her. I should be asking you the same."

He dropped his arms from around her and turned away. "I can't help the feeling, Nettie, and I feel terrible for it. I wish she would look at me as she does him."

He heard her chuckle but didn't turn to face her. "I wouldn't be so quick to say that, Apedemak."

"Right."

She laughed again. "She loves you, very much. She's just scared."

Apedemak snorted. "Funny . . . Osiris told me a similar thing."

"And you didn't believe him, did you?" He didn't answer. "You should. He knows her better than she knows herself. That's part of the reason she's so lost now."

"But I want to be that person for her! I can help her find her way!"

Nephthys sighed and walked behind him, her hand rubbing his back in comfort. "It's not that simple, Apedemak. We all shared a womb together, but she and Osiris had a bond from the beginning. The only reason we aren't quadruplets is because Osiris and Set were born years before Isis and I. Osiris used to say he wanted the world to be perfect for our births . . "

Apedemak smiled at that. "Was it?"

Nephthys smiled as well. "As perfect as he could make it with Set trying to destroy him at each turn. He was awful even then, only I was too blind to see it . . . so consumed with jealousy that Isis got all the attention."

"And now?"

She removed her arm and hugged herself. "Now I see it wasn't the case. It was all Set . . . feeding me lies and turning my heart against them. Isis tried numerous times to get me in on their games, but I always saw it as pity. I missed the looks of sadness on her face when I turned her down, but Set would say it was all an act. She was secretly glad I said no, for she wanted Osiris all to herself. Little did I know it was actually Set wanting Isis for himself. I was such a weakling!"

Apedemak shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't say that, Nephthys. Set can be pretty persuasive when he wants to be."

"Isis hasn't fallen for his trickery, not like I did."

"But Osiris did," he teased.

Nephthys rolled her eyes and poked him in the gut with her elbow. "Don't speak of him as if he were a nitwit. You imply that I am . . "

"You said it . . ."

She poked him in the gut again but chuckled anyway. "She'd always been perceptive."

"Just as you are, Nephthys, but you were alone. Loneliness can cause even the most intelligent to make rash decisions when someone offers company."

Nephthys nodded in resignation. "I understand." She offered him a smile and hugged his arm. "I'm glad you are here for her, Apedemak. You'll prevent her from making the same mistake I did."

Apedemak shook his head. "I don't know about that, Nettie. I feel her slipping away from me. The longer it takes to find Osiris, the more likely she is to do something stupid."

"Like what?"

Green eyes locked with brown. "Like give herself to Set in order to recover Osiris' missing pieces."

"If that's what it takes, then that's what I'll do!"

Both Nephthys and Apedemak jumped at the fierce declaration. Apedemak turned and felt short of breath. Unlike her sister's, Isis' hair flew wildly around her in ebony waves. Her golden eyes were fierce and full of passion, despite the fact she just awoke from sleep. Her nightgown was sheer and caressed her skin as it blew in the wind. Unlike Nephthys, she had no wrap, merely crossed her arms before her.

"Isis--"

She tilted her head to the side, her expression leaving no room for argument. "Not another word, Apedemak. I know how you feel about the subject, but you also know I'd do anything for my brother . . . and my sister."

Nephthys and Apedemak glanced at each other before Nephthys walked to the other woman. "Isis."

"You miss him as much as I do, Nettie. I hear your cries over the desert. You rarely rest during the day in your search. I made a vow to my brother and to myself. I will not let Set win."

Nephthys put her palm against Isis' cheek, and she leaned into it. "I don't want him to win, either, Isis. But not at the expense of you."

Isis gave an ironic smile. "You have no idea why Set went after Osiris, do you?"

The other two frowned. "He wants you; he always has."

Isis nodded. "That much is true. But Set knew of the love Osiris felt for you and you for him even while you were married. When you left, it all but sealed his loathing of Osiris. He thought he had beat Osiris by taking you away from him, that you would be a bargaining chip, but Set realized it was futile, especially when Apedemak came to save you."

Nephthys looked to him for confirmation, and he nodded. "I thought you came of your own free will . . "

Apedemak gave a half smile. "No, Nettie, though it was to appear that way. Not that I had to do much acting, for I was taken by you. There left little wonder why Osiris would save you from Set. You are a beautiful, pure goddess, who didn't need the likes of him tainting you."

"And Osiris knew this, as well. He loves you, Sister."

Nephthys frowned. "And yet you stayed married to him, Isis."

She shrugged. "We were married for a purpose, Nephthys. I was essentially put under his charge. He protected me, though I didn't know from what. Now I do. And now that's he's not here, I have to be a big girl and do this own my own--"

"You are not alone, Isis. You have Thoth and Sekhmet and Nephthys . . . and me. You have me, darling."

The moonlight appeared glassy in her eyes as she looked to him. Nephthys rubbed her palm along Isis' cheek and ended their eye-lock. Isis smiled and grasped her sister's hand, kissing the back of it. "I love you all . . so much," she said, gazing at Apedemak as she finished. He felt his heart expand, and he offered her a smile.

He saw Nephthys look between the two of them, and she grinned. "I'll leave you two alone. I have to have some energy to fly down the Nile, don't I?"

Isis gave her a sad smile, and they kissed each other's cheeks. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Nephthys," Apedemak said softly, all the while gazing at Isis. Isis watched Nephthys leave until she couldn't see her anymore.

He smirked. "Are you going to look at me, love?"

She turned her head slowly, her golden eyes locking with his green ones.

"You can't stop me, Apedemak."

He gave a wistful smile. "I know I can't. Why do you think I'm so afraid for you . . . for me . . . because something awful will happen to you . . ."

She looked away briefly before going back to him. "He's my brother, Apedemak--"

"And you're the woman I love! I don't want what happened to him to happen to you! What of Nephthys? She's already lost someone dear to her. She'll shatter if it happens to you as well. You're the big sister!"

"By two minutes, Apedemak," she said as she rolled her eyes.

He grinned. "Doesn't make you the oldest any less, love. I know you're doing this as much for her as for yourself, but both of you are making yourselves weak. We may be gods and goddesses, but we don't live forever either."

She snorted and rubbed her arms. "Clearly."

Isis looked to the ground, apparently fascinated by something just to the left of her. He walked up to her and grasped her arms. She still didn't look at him, even as he placed a kiss to her temple.

"I just want you to be safe, Isis," he whispered against her skin. "Promise me you'll stay safe."

She shook her head, still not looking at him. "That's not a promise I can make in good conscience, Apedemak. It's not fair for me to do so, either."

He lifted his right hand and grasped her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Isis--"

"Apedemak, I know you're worried about my safety and--"

"This isn't just about your safety! It's about you giving yourself up to that monster and . . ."

"And what?"

He rested his forehead against hers. "Me never seeing you again, about you hating yourself because he would force you to be someone you aren't."

She smirked. "What makes you think you'd never see me again? Just because I give myself up to him doesn't mean I have to stay with him."

He tilted his head. "How do you mean?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Set wouldn't want me if I were a weakling. He wants me for my powers . . and he'll meet them all right."

He gave her a look of confusion; then he grinned. "You naughty goddess . . "

She cradled his face in her hands. "I promise you this--I won't go to him unless it is a last resort--"

He sighed and looked to the sky. "I don't want you to go to him regardless!"

"It's not that simple, Apedemak. The people need him here; Nephthys needs him here. I need him here."

"But I need you here . . "

She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "I'll never leave you, Apedemak."

"But--"

She hugged him, and he pulled her flush against him, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Believe me when I say this, Apedemak. I'll never leave you. You have me always."

He kissed the top of her head, then laid his cheek there. "Good, because I'm never letting you go . . ."

"I got you, okay? I won't let you go; I promise."

"I want to get down now!"

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You have to relax, love. It's only making you more nervous--"

"Unlike you, I don't like being ten feet off the ground!"

"I won't let you get hurt."

"Please . . ."

"Draco will tease you if you don't go through with this."

"Like I give a shit what he thinks!"

He had to smother a laugh; hearing her curse was highly amusing yet scary at the same time. "Nia--"

"Harry, I'm not playin'! I'm scared to death! Please let me get down!"

He knew she wasn't kidding; her body had been trembling violently since she sat on the broomstick, only getting worse each time they got higher.

He squeezed her middle. "Fine, love. I'll get you down."

She exhaled a long breath. "Good. Thanks."

He eased them down gently, and he couldn't suppress a smile at her exclamation of, "Thank you, God!" as he touched down to the ground. She got off the broom and collapsed on the grass with her arms and legs askew.

Harry rolled his eyes. "You have a penchant for the dramatic, love. Do try to spend less time with Malfoy, hmm?"

"Bugger off!"

He grinned as he sat beside her, his legs pointing toward her head. "I said it before, and I'll say it again, love: you're cute when you speak like a Briton."

She smirked at him and reclined on her elbows. "Only then?"

She batted her eyes exaggeratedly, and he bent his face towards hers. "No, love, it's a perpetual malady with you."

He brushed her nose with his forefinger and drew back, her body following his movements. She sat opposite of him, resting her head on her drawn-up knees. "And I'll say it again--cute is for puppies."

He gave her a mock scowl. "I walked right into that, didn't I?"

She chuckled. "Yup."

"Why do you bait me so?"

She squinted at him and shrugged. "Dunno. Guess it's 'cause you so easy . . . makes you a prime target."

His mind drifted back to the dream he had the night before. It had been a while since he dreamed of his life as Apedemak, and it worried him.

"About that . . . promise me you'll keep yourself safe."

She snorted. "Can't very well do that while you tryin' to get me hundreds of feet in the air!"

He reached out and tucked a curl behind her ear. "I mean it, Nia. Don't do anything rash."

She smirked. "I believe you're confusing me with your redheaded crush."

"She's not my crush!" Nia shot him a look. "Anymore . . ."

She brushed his comment away. "Don't worry. I'm not a Gryffindor; I think before I leap."

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head. "Gryffindors aren't like that."

She shrugged. "If you say so . . ."

He nodded at her and laughed. "I do say so! And I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from slandering my house with that pretty mouth of yours."

Said pretty mouth curved into a grin. "What are you doin' lookin' at my mouth, Harry Potter?"

He blushed and looked down, all of a sudden interested in a blade of grass. He heard her sigh.

"What are you gonna do about trainin' when you leave?"

He shook his head, grateful for the change in topic. "Dunno. You think we'll still need it?"

"Possibly . . . at the rate we're goin', definitely. I don't understand why Draco and Ginny are so ahead of us . . . ain't like they started before we did . . ."

Harry often wondered that as well. In the beginning, it was he who was so far ahead of the others, but since they incorporated magic in training, Draco and Ginny were above and beyond them.

"Reckon that's why Jamilah separated us?" he asked.

Nia snorted. "I think she was doin' us a favor! I dunno about you, but I don't wanna see them suckin' face the entire trainin' session!"

He chuckled. "Point taken. Speaking of training, we should go inside now; Jamilah only gave us an hour for the flight lesson."

She sucked her teeth. "Much good it did me; I 'bout peed in my pants, and we barely got off the ground!"

He scowled. "Too much information, Nia!"

"Nobody told you to listen!" she said and stuck out her tongue at him. He returned the gesture as he stood, holding his hands out for her to take. As she got to her feet, she stumbled, and Harry placed his hands at her waist to steady her.

"Thanks," she murmured.

He smirked at her. "No wonder you don't like the sky! You can barely function on the ground!"

She huffed and shoved him. "You are so corny!"

He snickered as he watched her walk towards the castle. He liked getting her riled up; it was something about how her golden eyes turn molten and her cheeks got a red tint to them. It made him realize a very important fact.

She would be dangerous when she got older.

Hell . . . she's dangerous now!

He sighed and began to walk slowly towards Hogwarts. After the training, there was going to be a birthday party for Hermione, which, luckily, was on a Friday night. He just hoped he had enough energy to be excited for it. He had a feeling Jamilah was going to run them ragged today.

He chuckled. She was actually the first DADA professor he had who lasted more than a year, but part of him wondered if it was because of her relationship with Nia. That's not to say she wasn't a competent professor; everyone enjoyed the Defense classes, especially after having that horrible Umbitch as a professor his fifth year. From the mirror trick at the beginning of the year to the Revealing Spell used to detect and reveal those who were invisible, their class learned many invaluable defenses.

However, some of his housemates asked him about his extra lessons--even if he was going to start Dumbledore's Army again. Harry hummed and hawed his answers, not knowing how to reply. Jamilah never explicitly told them to keep what they did a secret; it had been assumed. Harry felt guilty when he couldn't tell Ron and Hermione what he was doing when he first started the training; they had always helped him in his fight against Voldemort. He wasn't ignorant of the suspicious and disappointed looks they sent his way during the last year. It felt almost wrong not to tell them. Harry had bit his tongue numerous times, especially after Ginny told him who they really were, as reincarnated gods, but then he thought it was probably even more important to keep the news from his best friends. Harry remembered when he was a second year and he heard the basilisk's voice through the pipes in the school. He didn't appreciate Ron and Hermione looking at him as though he'd lost his mind, and he hadn't fancied seeing that look on their faces again.

If they told me they were gods and goddesses, I would think them barking, too!

Harry shook his head as he entered the castle. His friends were surprisingly understanding when they found out that summer--almost as if they were expecting it. Regardless, Harry gave the biggest sigh of relief when Dumbledore revealed all to the Order members after they'd raided the Dark Conception Ritual. He was under the impression everyone knew about their status, but when Mrs. Weasley gasped, "Dear heavens!" at the news and the expressions on other members' faces echoed her spoken exclamation, Harry knew it was not the case. He wondered why Dumbledore didn't tell them from the beginning, but he figured better late than never.

George, on the other hand, merely exclaimed "Wicked!" and slapped Harry on the back in congratulations.

Harry had muttered a half-hearted, "Thank you," as he glanced to Angelina. She was looking to her father for an explanation, yet he seemed to be looking at Dumbledore for the same. The older man made a peculiar move with his head that implied everything would be answered later.

Speaking of which, Harry thought he was well overdue for some answers himself.

Knowing one was a reincarnate god did not explain why one was a reincarnate god. But what it did do was explain the sudden and seemingly random attraction he felt toward Nia when they met that fateful day two years ago.

That was the first time he dreamed of his life as Apedemak, right before he met Nia for the first time.

Her Isis to his Apedemak.

Harry denied the attraction and replaced it with an automatic dislike for her, merely because of her house and her friendship with his arch-nemesis-turned-ally. But the dislike seemed unnatural, rather like his civility toward Malfoy.

Harry snorted as he turned a corner. Draco Malfoy was a matter better left untouched.

Much like Nia Roberts should be, eh, mate?

"Bugger off," he muttered to the nagging voice in his head. The recent dream he had did not help matters, making his feelings for her increasingly more complicated. The Isis of his dream was, he knew, how Nia would look when she got older, and she looked every bit the goddess she was. Jamilah rubbed salt in the wound when she told him he was to start their flying lessons before the standard training. He was to help Nia get acquainted with the broomstick. Her body trembled from the moment she saw the broom until the moment she got off it, and her constant need to adjust her position on the broom caused very inappropriate reactions with him. He couldn't help but think there was another broomstick with which he wanted her to get "acquainted."

He shook his head roughly.

Damn! I'm a randy bastard!

And he knew he wasn't the only bloke who felt that way.

He cursed himself at the jealousy he felt when he saw other boys look at Nia. Harry could practically see the lust oozing out of them. It was all he could do not to pummel them into the ground for staring at her so lecherously. Luckily Draco was there to do it for him, if not literally then figuratively. Those ice-cold eyes froze every potential suitor before he could even approach her. He remembered what his Dream Isis said about Osiris--he was her protector. Who knew she needed protection from horny teenage boys as well as a crazed god? She was just a kid, not some bloody veela.

She's not just a kid, Potter, and you know it.

There was the entire problem. She was the goddess who stole his heart all those millennia ago, and she was too young for him to do anything about it. And it wasn't as if he had the right to ward off any of her potential suitors. He and Nia weren't dating, and she was fourteen years old--she could date whomever she wanted.

Over my dead body.

"Boy! Quit dawdlin' and get here now! It ain't take Nia eighty thousand years to get here from the Quidditch pitch! I tell you, these kids today think the world revolves around them . ."

Harry grinned. "Yes, Professor Roberts."

He walked in and saw Nia stretching and talking with Sirius as she did so--

Talking with Sirius?

"What are you doing here?" he asked, half ecstatic and half annoyed.

Sirius grinned at Nia before looking at him. "Hi there, Harry! Jamilah said I could sit in one of your training sessions. It's right stuffy down in the dungeons."

"There's nothing wrong with the dungeons," Nia muttered as she bent over to the side.

"So says the Slytherin," Sirius muttered out the side of his mouth.

Harry was not amused. "What if someone sees you? You're supposed to be dead, remember? That means you remain out of sight!"

Sirius snorted. "Pettigrew is supposed to be dead, too; that didn't stop him from trying to sprog Ginny Weasley up."

"All right, all right, that's enough! You two, get ready for the link sessions."

He and Nia groaned but did as the professor said. They stood in the center of the room, with their backs pressed against each other. In this drill, they were to see what the other did, though they were facing opposite directions. The stronger the link, the clearer the images. He linked his fingers with hers and gave them a squeeze.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Hopefully . . ."

Jamilah stood a few meters in front of him. "Okay, since Sirius is here today, he's gonna help me with this drill. We'll flash cards before you, and the other is to say what the image is. For each one you get right, take a step forward. The goal is to be directly in front of whoever is flashing the images. Make sense?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'll go first. Sirius, you go next, regardless if Nia gets the image right or not."

"Yes, Jamilah."

Harry took a deep breath as Jamilah showed the first image.

"Fire truck," Nia muttered.

"Very good, Nia. Your turn, Sirius."

Harry took a step forward and waited.

"A baby's rattle."

"Good, Harry!" Sirius exclaimed.

Another step. Nia's answer wasn't as quick. "Looks like a T.V. from here . ."

"Yes, it's a T.V. You gotta be quicker than that, Nia. The Death Eaters ain't gonna give you time to figure it out."

"Yes, Grandma."

They continued the exercise for another five minutes, but Nia kept having trouble on her side.

Soon Jamilah had enough. "Nia!"

"Ma'am?"

"What is wrong with you? Why can't you focus?"

"Uhh . . . ."

Harry turned and looked at Sirius over Nia's shoulder. The older man shrugged.

"Out with it, girl! You were doing much better the session before! What's gotten into you today?"

"Um, I think I'm just woozy from the flyin' lesson earlier . . . yeah . . . that's it."

She was lying, and Harry knew it, though he didn't know why.

Jamilah groaned. "I told you before; you gonna have to deal with that. It's a quick way to travel, and it will come in handy at some point."

"I know, Grandma, but you can't expect me to get over my fear in a day, either."

"Your mama could," Jamilah muttered.

"I ain't my mama, am I?"

Nia's tone even caught Harry by surprise, and he turned widened eyes to Jamilah. The professor's face was stone as she stared at her granddaughter.

"Who do you think you are, Miss Thang, usin' that tone with me?"

Nia looked to the side and hugged herself.

Harry walked behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "You saw something, didn't you, Nia?"

"Harry--"

"What did you see?"

She began to tremble again, much as she did when they were on the pitch earlier. He wrapped his arms around her to calm her.

"I'm right here, love. Tell me what you saw."

She swallowed thickly. "I saw him."

Harry glanced at Sirius. He was looking at Nia with a mixture of awe and disbelief.

"Who?"

"Harry, I don't think it's a good idea . . " Sirius said slowly, his eyes never leaving Nia.

"Why not? She saw something that obviously upset her. I want to make her feel better," he said more firmly than he intended.

"Harry . . ." he warned again.

"Who is 'him'? Who did you see, love? You can tell me . . " Harry whispered in her ear.

She shook her head and sniffled. "I don't wanna tell you, Harry."

He frowned and looked to Sirius. "Why not?"

She took a deep breath. "It has to do with your parents . . ."

There was no need for her to finish the sentence. He knew exactly what she meant.

"You saw it, didn't you? You saw Voldemort kill my parents?"

She sniffled and nodded her head. "It was horrible."

"But that's impossible! Harry was only a baby when it happened!" Sirius exclaimed.

Harry looked to Jamilah for confirmation, but she shook her head. "It's entirely possible, Sirius. If Harry was awake during the ordeal, he probably did see the entire thing. He just doesn't have a conscious memory of it because he was so young, but Nia . . . she managed to tap into that part of him. Fascinating."

Harry dropped his arms from her and backed away. His entire body was shaking at Jamilah's announcement. Actual memories of his parents . . . even if it was of the last moments of their lives.

"I want to know what happened."

Nia whirled to face him. "What?"

He clenched his jaw. "I want to know. I have a right to know . . ."

She blinked rapidly and shook her head. "But, Harry--"

"I don't care. Tell me, Nia. Please."

She looked to Jamilah for permission, and the older woman shrugged. "The boy has a right to know."

Nia sighed and scowled. "Don't make me, Harry! I don't wanna!"

"Like Professor Roberts said--I have a right to know."

"Don't pressure the girl, Harry. Seeing something like that must've been traumatic."

"Yes, and if I saw my parents die, then I should've been able to see thestrals long before my fifth year!"

"You didn't remember it, Harry, and you were too young to know what death was. They only become visible when there's a clear understanding of the concept of death," Jamilah explained.

Nia appeared confused. "Thestrals?"

"They pull the carriages when we go to Hogsmeade."

"OH! That's what those things are called?"

Harry frowned. "You mean you see them? Why didn't you say anything?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "When you hear people around you sayin', 'Wicked! Horseless carriages!' the urge to speak lessens somehow."

His frown melted into concern. "Who did you see die?"

She glanced at Jamilah, then looked to the ground. "My mother."

Sirius took in a sharp breath as Jamilah blew out hers. "I would rather save this conversation for a later time. We have training to get to," she said, her tone dead.

It was pretty much determined, after thirty minutes, an effective training session wasn't going to happen. His mind was too focused on what it was Nia saw, and she seemed wrapped in her own thoughts.

"Y'all can go. Besides, you have a birthday party to get to, anyway," Jamilah said in defeat.

Nia gathered her things and rushed out of the room, clearly avoiding him. Harry became irrationally angry. What was wrong wanting to know about his parents' demise? He was desperate for any amount of information--good or bad.

It was times like these he longed for the Mirror of Erised.

"Harry?"

"What?" he snarled, then closed his eyes and hung his head. "Sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean to lash out like that."

The older man offered him a small smile. "I would, too, if someone had a key to my past and didn't give it to me, but you have to be patient about these things, Harry."

He snorted. "You? Talking about patience?"

Sirius chuckled. "Sounds foreign to my ears, as well, kid, but I mean it. You didn't see the look on her face as she saw those images. If horror had an expression, her face would've been it. It's a wonder she reached that deeply into your mind, Harry. I'll bet what you saw as a baby was truly terrible, even if you didn't know what you were seeing."

Harry sighed. "I didn't even feel her in my head. When Snape does it, I'm aware of the extra presence. Why was it like that with her?"

"Because of the link, Harry. What Snape does is an intrusion. He pries through thoughts. The link allows for every part of the mind to be accessed without trouble. It leaves you vulnerable."

Harry looked at Jamilah. "Why was I not able to do the same with her?"

"You were actually focused on the session. Nia has a tendency to let her attention wander; unfortunately, it went to your unpleasant memories."

"Maybe she was really shaken after the flying lesson."

She nodded. "That's entirely possible. Perhaps I'm rushin' y'all. We can go back to strength trainin'."

Harry shook his head. "By all means, Professor Roberts, you gave us a goal, and we have every intention of reaching it."

Jamilah grinned at him. "Spoken like a Gryffindor . . . all right, you, go have some fun. Tell Miss Granger I said happy birthday."

He gave her a half smile. "I will. 'Night, Professor Roberts, Sirius."

Sirius clapped Harry's shoulder and squeezed. "Night, Harry. Remember what I said, okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll remember."

Sirius squeezed his shoulder again, and Harry left, his steps heavy. He definitely wasn't in the mood to go to a party, yet Hermione was his best friend. He was glad he gave his gift to Ginny, just in case the training session went over.

The trek to the Tower seemed impossibly long, and he muttered the password to the Fat Lady.

"Cheer up, dearie! There's a party today!" she said kindly. He gave her a half-smile and climbed through the portrait hole.

It was in full swing, and even Hermione seemed to be having the appropriate amount of fun.

"Hiya, Harry!" Ron called and waved.

Harry's wave was less than enthusiastic as he walked further in the common room. He searched for Ginny and spotted her near the refreshments table. As he walked toward her, he passed Hermione.

"Hello, Harry." She grinned.

He returned the smile and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "How are you, birthday girl?"

"Old!" she laughed.

He and Ron rolled their eyes. "You're only seventeen, 'Mione!"

She tapped her hip against her boyfriend. "But I'm a legal adult!"

"Yes, you are, love, which means we can do things, legally, that we couldn't do before . . ." Ron said and began to place small kisses on her neck.

Harry took that as his cue to leave.

"Get a room, you two!" Seamus yelled over the music.

Harry knew without looking that Ron gave Seamus a rude gesture in return. Chuckling, he went to Ginny, who was downing a mug of butterbeer.

"Nice party," he said.

Ginny snorted and looked over her shoulder. "They're at it again."

Her tone sounded bored, and he grinned. "Maybe they'll take Seamus' advice."

She glanced at him and rolled her eyes. "One can only hope . . ."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "You sound how I feel . . . want to talk about it?"

She regarded him for a moment, then nodded. "Don't know where we could go, however; the common room's crowded."

"The Room?"

She sighed. "Yeah, best we wait until the party begins to wind down. I promised Ron I'd help with clean-up."

He frowned. "A simple cleaning spell should do the trick!"

"'Should' is the key word, Harry."

"Duly noted. We'll wait it out . . ."

Two hours later, he and Ginny regretted that decision. Both were sprawled on the couch, exhausted, though the party was still going.

"Maybe we should make a break for it now," Ginny whispered.

"Agreed."

They walked out of the party without incident, and both breathed a sigh of relief as they walked down the corridor. It was a quiet walk, and he was grateful for it. He was even more grateful for the door of the Room of Requirement appearing.

"I was afraid we'd have to go back," Ginny said.

"Me, too. I would've been put out."

She snickered. "Seems like you already are." She opened the door and presented the Room to him. "Step into my office, Mr. Potter."

"Cute, Ginny," he muttered, but grinned as he walked inside. There was a fireplace and two easy chairs before it, with a small table in between the seats with cookies and milk. It was nice and cozy setting, and it calmed him immensely.

"How quaint."

He snorted. "You sound more and more like Malfoy everyday."

She grinned. "Well, that's just the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"

Harry ruffled her hair before pulling her into a hug. She returned it, and he felt good. It was so different from the last time he held her this intimately, when he had his crush. A lot of things were crushed during that point--the most considerable was his ego. Malfoy and Nia had his number, and they played it for weeks.

He chuckled. "You're not planning on shoving me against a wall this time, are you?"

She pulled back and smirked. "Such naughty thoughts, Potter. Surprised the room hasn't changed accordingly."

He rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead. "What has the Ice Prince done this time?"

The abrupt change in topic seemed to catch her off guard, if only momentarily. She sighed and sat in one of the chairs. She waited until he sat in the other one.

"It's less of what he did than what I did . . . has Jamilah been doing those link exercises with you?"

"Yes. We did one today during our session."

She nodded and continued. "Well, during the link, I began to see memories . . . they were very disturbing. I didn't know just how much I could hate someone until I saw these memories. They broke my heart . . ."

"Of what?"

She exhaled a shaky breath. "I saw him being subjected to the Cruciatus Curse for the first time."

Harry shuddered. "That's no fun. Voldemort cast it on me right after he rose again. That's a pain like no other."

"Yes, Harry, but you were fourteen when it happened . . . Draco was three."

He felt as if he'd been slapped. "Three years old? What kind of a person would do that to a child that young? It's not like Malfoy's of mixed heritage."

"Well, apparently, Draco's mother allowed him to play with Muggles during one of their excursions to Muggle London, and Lucius found out about it. As her punishment, she was forced to watch Lucius cast the Cruciatus Curse on Draco. Lucius said he would've made her do it, had she had the strength and power to do so. What the bastard meant was if she were like her sister Bellatrix and was evil enough, she could've cast it."

Harry felt like he wanted to throw up. "What kind of sick, twisted bastard would do that to his son?"

She snorted. "Lucius Malfoy. I swear to Merlin, I was ready to hex something. As it was, I nearly magicked Jamilah's head off and destroyed two dummies in my ire. I'd never been so angry in my life!"

"What did Malfoy do?"

"His jaw was tightly set after that; he didn't say a word."

Harry shook his head sadly. "He probably didn't want you to know that."

She shrugged helplessly. "I know that, Harry! It wasn't like I was looking for it; I just found it. First I was seeing the cards Jamilah was flashing before him; then all of a sudden, I was in that horrible memory. His cries, Harry, they were so heart wrenching! I had half a mind to tear Lucius' bloody heart out with my bare hands, but then I'd be in Azkaban instead of helping you."

"Was your mind wandering?"

She looked to the ceiling and nodded. "I was thinking about the party, about helping Ron . . . I wasn't focused on the task."

"Yeah, Nia wasn't paying attention, either. Then all of a sudden she froze and apparently had a look of horror on her face. After much prodding on my part, she told me who she saw . . ."

He didn't say anything for a while, and Ginny waved her hands as if coaxing the last bit of information from him.

"Well?"

Harry rubbed his temples, alleviating tension in his head. "She saw my parents . . and Voldemort."

She sucked in a sharp breath. "She saw your memory of your parents' death? Merlin, Harry!"

He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Yeah . . . she wouldn't tell me what happened, but then again, why would she need to? They're dead; that's the end result in all of this."

"Don't be that way, Harry," she chastised gently.

He gave a sardonic chuckle. "It's the truth, isn't it? Perhaps it's better she didn't tell me, though you'd think she would, since she calls me her friend . . ."

"That's not fair! I didn't want to tell Draco, but he forced me to tell him . . . it was clear he didn't remember anything about it until I told him. I hated seeing him like that, as if someone told him Christmas was cancelled; then he closed himself off to me. I think she knew how you'd react. Or worse, you'd get violent all of a sudden--"

"You think me violent?"

She shrugged. "You can have very irrational reactions to bad news. You blew up at Ron and Hermione so many times during my fourth year . . it's hard to be the brunt of the anger from someone you care for greatly."

He sat back in the chair and breathed deeply. "Has Malfoy been able to return the favor, so to speak?"

She shook her head. "Not that I know of, or if he has, he's been very tight-lipped about it."

"I don't understand," Harry said after a while. "Why can you two get into our memories? We're both in the link, right?"

"Yeah, we are . . . I don't know, Harry; I find it odd as well."

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "Well, I guess something good has come out of this."

"Oh? What's that?"

Harry shrugged. "Maybe this means we're close to unlocking whatever magical store's preventing us from being as advanced as you and Malfoy."

She grinned at him and nodded. "I do hope so, Harry. It's like finding a piece of yourself you never knew was missing."

Harry was quite a moment; then he chuckled. "You know, you sound like Ron did when he said he'd fallen in love."

Her grin softened, and her brown eyes sparkled. "Exactly, Harry, exactly."