A Mate

A Mate

Chapter 5: After Effects

Remus slowly woke, surrounded by comforting warmth that made him sigh with contentment. He remembered it had been a full moon and he basked in the wonder of feeling good after a night that had usually consisted of pain. He ached a little but he couldn't feel any major wounds, and when he finally opened his eyes he did so with a brilliant smile. He glanced behind him, only to see that Sirius had curled up next to him on the bed and had practically wrapped himself around the slender boy in a protective embrace. Remus felt almost giddy with happiness. He then blushed as he realised Sirius had somehow manoeuvred into this position in his sleep while Remus, after transforming back, was quite naked. He knew that he should feel incredibly vulnerable in the position he was in, and yet couldn't help but be content.

Remus carefully turned over and looked up fondly at Sirius' sleeping face, the dark hair wildly mussed and his mouth wide open as he snored loudly. Remus giggled a little at the boy's complete lack of grace, even when asleep. But that was just one of the things that endeared him more to Remus....

The young werewolf, suddenly maudlin, felt a little guilty as he lay there in his unknowing love's arms. He'd never have this, not really. So why pretend now?

With a sorrowful sigh he attempted to slip out of the wonderful comfort. Remus flushed slightly as Sirius gave a petulant moan when he tried to move away and the other boy only pulled him closer, and with all Sirius' shifting and pulling, Remus couldn't help but get aroused. His breathing hitched as Sirius continued to drag him nearer and Remus gritted his teeth as he was pulled against the other boy. He lay completely still, desperately hoping that his friend wouldn't wake and find him this... excited.

Then Sirius, still asleep, rolled away from him and Remus sighed with relief as he scrambled away and quickly pulled on his trousers that were on the floor from the night before. He guiltily glanced at Sirius once again and wondered what he would have said, had he seen what his friendly embrace had been doing to his best mate.

Remus saw the small indent on his bed next to Sirius marking his previous place, and couldn't help but feel as though it was right to be there, next to Sirius. The boy in question now wore a faint frown as he rolled into the indent, probably wondering where the warmth of Remus' body had vanished.

Remus finally returned his attention to his main objective and scanned the room for his other two friends. He smiled as he saw them a few meters from the bed. James lay sprawled out on the floor, looking as if he'd just collapsed there; Peter a few yards away from him had slept in a curled up ball, which strongly reminded Remus of the small boy's Animagus form.

Animagus form....

Remus shook his head still unable to believe they did it - and all for him.

Footsteps sounded and his heart quickened as he realised Madam Pomfrey had come to check on him. Remus, panicking, ran to the discarded Invisibility Cloak and flung it over James and Peter - glad the boys weren't sleeping too far apart.

Just as the door opened he jumped on the bed and under the covers, bringing them up to cover Sirius head. The nurse came inside and looked at Remus worriedly from the doorway. Remus felt incredibly grateful for the darkness inside the shack's room, and he hoped that the shadows would hide most of the Sirius-shaped lump in the bed, though just to be sure he lifted the blankets up a little further and prayed the nurse didn't come over to check on him, allowing him his privacy like she did usually, before he changed into his clothes.

"And how are you today?"

Remus looked up at her distractedly as he realised from the movement next to him that Sirius had woken up and was now trying to pull the covers down. Remus gave Madam Pomfrey a nervous smile as he slipped his hand under the covers and smacked Sirius's head; a muffled 'ow' came from the bed and Remus coughed to hide the sound.

"I'm okay, Madam Pomfrey," Remus told the nurse, who looked back at him like he was crazy.

Remus sighed in relief when Sirius stopped moving - obviously getting that he was supposed to be hiding and then realised what he'd just said.

"I mean, as well as I could be after last night," Remus said hurriedly.

"Of course dear, but I must tend to your wounds. I need to check whether you are alright."

Remus was about to reply when he suddenly felt hands along his very naked stomach - where he was extremely ticklish at that - the action making him jerk upright to get away from the teasing touch with a surprised yelp, knocking his head against the headboard.

"Are you okay Mr. Lupin?" the nurse asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Um, yes... I don't need to be checked- really. I'm fine," Remus said almost pleadingly while he inwardly scowled at the covers when he heard a soft bark-like laugh.

"Are you quite sure? You've never been okay before...?" Madam Pomfrey asked dubiously.

Remus bit his lip apprehensively as Sirius once again trailed a hand across his stomach.

"I'm sure," he choked out. "I'll come to the Hospital Wing if I feel that anything's wrong."

Madam Pomfrey nodded and with a worried glance, went to leave.

"Be sure to do that. And remember not to be late for class," she called over her shoulder.

As soon as the door had clicked shut, Remus pulled down the covers and fixed Sirius with an accusing glare. The other boy had a silly grin on his face.

Remus arched his eyebrows, and Sirius seemed unable to help himself as he burst out laughing. Remus rolled his eyes, flushing a little, and folded his arms across his ill-treated stomach.

"I don't know what you are laughing about. She almost found out," Remus rebuked Sirius.

"Aw, come on Moony - it was only a laugh." Sirius grinned.

"A laugh! What would she have thought, had she found, had she..." Remus trailed off as a pink blush spread over his cheeks.

"Had she found what Remus?" Sirius purred in Remus' ear, suddenly extremely close.

"F-found?" Remus stuttered as he turned his head to find himself an inch away from Sirius' smiling face.

Remus couldn't for the life of him recall what it was they had been talking about, only aware now of Sirius' closeness and his pure and fixed attention. Remus leaned back, still hugging himself in an attempt to feel more clothed in front of Sirius, as the smirking brunette crawled closer. It was a little too much for Remus, who believed by now, that his cheeks could possibly put a robin's chest to shame, and he shuffled backwards a little more than he originally intended.

Sirius' eyes grew wide and he made a grab for the slender boy, but was too late. Before Remus could work out what Sirius was playing at he felt himself fall back and hit the floor with a painful 'oomph'!

Sirius peeked over the edge of the bed and looked down at the sprawled and rather startled figure of Remus. When Sirius let out a loud chortle, the flustered boy simply picked himself up and, with a reproachful glare at Sirius, walked over to where he'd left James and Peter, as Remus knew that Sirius would only laugh at him if he even tried to scold him.

James, it seemed, was already up and had watched the scene with a small smile that puzzled Remus.

"Is Peter awake?" Remus asked, snapping him out of his bemused state.

"Probably not. You know Pete," James said with a grin, and then kicked his foot out and snorted when he heard a quiet moan.

"James, you could find a gentler way of waking up a friend," a voice whined.

James simply rolled his eyes as Peter pulled off the cloak and yawned.

Remus glanced at the boy amusedly and shared a look with James.

"It's the only way to get you up Peter, and you know it," James decreed as he stood, his hair even more of a mess today than usual from sleeping on the floor.

Peter sniffed. "Yes well.... What's wrong with him?" the boy asked nodding to where Sirius still lay on the bed, occasionally chuckling to himself.

"So many things," James said, shaking his head with mock pity.

"Hey! I'll have you know Potter that there are many more things wrong with you then there ever will be with me!" Sirius yelled teasingly.

"Such as?" James asked, doubtfully raising his eyebrows.

"Well, there's your hair for one." Remus smiled at James' offended look and how he unconsciously smoothed out his hair, as Sirius continued. "And of course, there's Evans, I mean you're going to regret that on-"

Of course at this, James launched himself at the laughing Sirius and both boys tussled playfully.

"Take it back mutt, or-"

"Or what, Prongsy? Will you sic your girl on me?" Sirius grinned.

James couldn't stop laughing, but then he suddenly stopped and adopted a sombre look.

"Yes, and she will hurt you for all your misdeeds and you will be sorry!"

Remus rolled his eyes and glanced at Peter who looked on enviously, ever the bystander. He then picked up the rest of his clothes and quickly slipped them on.

"Okay, we've got to go to class," Remus said, breaking up the play fight. "I think that's enough fooling around. We'll be late if we stay here any longer."

James and Sirius shared a grin before Sirius turned to Remus and pouted.

"But Mooooony! I wanna play!"

"Yeah Remus, we wanna play! And you played with Padfoot all night. I wanna go," James whined, playing along with a teasing glint in his eye.

Remus would have normally shrugged off this light-hearted banter with his usual show of exasperation, had not James' words suddenly struck him so.

Play...

The wolf's memories of the night before suddenly assaulted him and he took a slight step back, paling at the force. It was much the same as when he'd been to the Werewolf Registry Office and Ulric Charms had informed him of his unfortunate situation. This time there was one difference: he hadn't wanted the wolf's emotions to be felt, hadn't wanted the memories of such feelings of euphoria.

The feeling was so powerful, he had no doubt it was true in its origin. Remus was overcome with an emotion he was not too familiar with - joy with the slightest brush of hope and an almost warm undertone of desire that nearly had him on his knees.

Flashes of 'play' between howls that spoke his sorrow came back to his mind, and he recalled just how much fun he'd had with the black dog last night. The other two creatures he mostly ignored, the tawny wolf had been focused on only one creature that night, knowing it was the one who was needed to take away the pain. The playful fights had been almost tender and the wolf had been overjoyed to find the dog equally as eager.

"Remus?" a voice asked gently.

Remus suddenly came back from his memories, as a hand rested on his arm and he flinched from the feeling.

"Are you okay?"

Remus looked up into concerned grey eyes and tried to hide the bitterness with which he expelled the wolf's foolish hope. It would never be.

"We need to get to class," Remus murmured, pulling away from Sirius and leading the way out of the Shrieking Shack, missing the looks that were shared by Sirius and James, and Peter's faint frown of bewilderment.

*

On the way to the Great Hall (and hopefully a very large breakfast since Remus was feeling the after effects of the wolf's change and wanted something substantial to eat), James remembered he had promised to meet Lily in the common room. Then Peter seemed to decide that he should accompany James and had followed the boy. Sirius shook his head and muttered 'whipped' as they both scurried off.

"Which one?" Remus commented before he could stop himself and Sirius looked at him with an amused arched eyebrow.

"Meow Moony." Sirius laughed as they carried on walking.

Remus flushed slightly and inwardly wondered just what was wrong with him this morning. Ever since they'd left the Shrieking Shack he'd felt strange, less... inhibited.

It scared him.

Thoughts that were certainly not the usual were flashing through his mind and every other one was of Sirius. It was almost as though his control had weakened, and he couldn't help but fear that it had something to do with this morning's remembrance of the wolf's intolerably strong feelings from last night.

The two boys had nearly reached the Great Hall when Remus noticeably stiffened. Sirius glanced at him in concern, but before Remus could warn him, ropes suddenly coiled their way around Sirius' body and he fell to the floor.

Remus watched, stunned when Evan Rosier violently brought a foot smashing down into Sirius' face, kicking him hard. Sirius's nose broke with a harsh crack that made him yell out in pain. Rosier then raised his wand, and whispered a word Remus didn't recognise. The unknown spell seemed to be effective however, as it wrenched a scream from Sirius that continued until it finally escalated and stopped. Rosier was breathing raggedly from the energy he'd just used for his dark spell but looked the happiest Remus had ever seen him. Then the Slytherin turned to Remus and smirked.

"Just that justice I was telling you about - Black's nose for mine," Rosier sneered. "His nose and possibly a couple of ribs, a finger or two and maybe even a-"

Remus could no more stop what he did next than he could for a volcano erupting. Everything was then so simple: Sirius was his mate. His mate was hurt. Rosier was the one that was hurting his mate. Therefore Rosier was the enemy. Rosier was dead.

Remus lunged at the smirking boy and attacked him with all the viciousness of an animal pushed into a corner. Rosier yelped, as Remus forced him to the floor and grabbed his collar, snarling with rage as his victim tried to get away. Rosier seemed to finally understand that he'd made a Big Mistake and that the little Gryffindor wasn't quite as mild and not nearly as weak as he'd supposed.

Remus, pinning his prey down with his lower body, pulled his head off the stone floor and smiled manically as he smashed Rosier's head down and heard a satisfactory 'crack'.

Rosier screamed with pain and struggled even more desperately to get away. Remus held him down coldly and punched the boy in the stomach to stop his escape. Rosier cried out as Remus continued his assault, watching the vicious gleam in his attacker's eye that seemed to promise that this was the end. Remus then leaned down and looked into his dark eyes, his own amber ones alight with ferocity.

"You. will. not. touch. him. again," Remus whispered.

Sirius watched all this aghast, unable to believe that the boy in front of him was the Remus he'd known for the better half of his life. He struggled out of the bindings and did something he never thought he'd do: help a Slytherin.

"Remus! Remus, stop!" Sirius yelled over Rosier's painful yelps.

Remus ignored the words and carried on with the necessary task of removing the threat to himself and his mate.

Sirius saw that in this state the boy wouldn't listen, so he grabbed Remus' arms tightly, stopping the hands that swung so fatally towards the battered Slytherin underneath him.

Remus snarled as he was lifted from his prey and Sirius had to pin him against the wall, to keep the boy from escaping his hold.

Remus writhed wildly before he heard a faintly soothing voice and slowly he calmed down.

"...alright now Remus, just stop fighting me okay?" the gentle voice continued. "It'll be fine. Rosier's not worth killing - well he is, but not worth Azkaban. Okay, Moony? Moony?"

Remus finally went limp in Sirius' grasp, and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. But then the slender boy gave a soft sob and collapsed to the floor, tears escaping confused amber eyes.

Sirius bent down but Remus refused to look up at him.

He felt so ashamed.

Remus couldn't believe how he'd just lost control so easily, so completely. It had felt like something had possessed him, and Remus shivered as he thought about how the violent thirst for revenge had flowed through his body, so simply and entirely that nothing else had made sense.

"Remus?"

Remus glanced up at Sirius, still crying, though now his tears silently fell down his cheeks as he tried to regain some rule over his body. However, he could not quell his horror at what he'd done. His eyes returned to Rosier's mangled body over and over again.

"It's alright Remus. He's not dead. Hardly even unconscious, really," Sirius said as he watched Remus.

"But it's certainly a wonder that he isn't," came a dreadfully sharp voice that both boys recognised with perfect dismay.

McGonagall had appeared from around the corner of the corridor and seemed to have gone pale with outrage. Neither Remus nor Sirius had ever seen her so angry and both boys felt nervous under her livid glare.

"Would you mind explaining this, Mr. Black?" she hissed accusingly at Sirius, who flinched accordingly at the icy command.

Sirius stood up and slowly looked McGonagall in the eye. Remus knew what Sirius was about to do so before the other boy could take the blame, he too stood up and quickly stammered out. "It wasn't S-Sirius Professor, it was m-me. Rosier attacked Sirius and I - then I - I...." Remus stopped, miserably looking to the floor to avoid looking at McGonagall's shocked expression.

"I'm not sure if I believe this Mr. Lupi-"

"It was me. Ask Rosier," Remus said quickly.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows before fixing Remus with a calculating look. But soon she seemed satisfied, and without taking her eyes off Remus, told Sirius to take Rosier to the Hospital Wing.

"But, Professor I-"

"Now Mr. Black, before Mr. Rosier becomes critical. And get yourself seen to - that nose does not look good," McGonagall said before pursing her lips disapprovingly. "You'd best come with me, Mr. Lupin."

Remus acquiesced with a weary nod and left Sirius staring after him, looking from Rosier to his fading figure with a bewildered anxiety.

*

"Ah, Mr. Lupin, do come in. Sherbet Lemon?" Dumbledore offered, in a somber way.

Remus shook his head miserably as he stood by the Headmaster desk, certain that this was it: he was going to be expelled from a school he had no right to be in in the first place.

"Down to business then, hmmm? Please, sit down," Dumbledore said gently, pointing to the armchair behind the boy which Remus sank into gratefully. "Now, would you like to tell me what happened?"

And so Remus did, leaving nothing out. He told the Headmaster about Rosier and his previous threats, about the boy's attack on Sirius, his own retaliation and most importantly his strange lapse of control that he couldn't understand - the feeling that had promoted such violence.

"Hmmm, well that answers that, I suppose," Dumbledore mused aloud.

"What answers what sir?" Remus asked, puzzled.

"I understand Mr. Lupin that you are going through a period that most werewolves find exceedingly difficult stages of their life?" Dumbledore asked slowly, his bushy eyebrows rising enquiringly.

Remus nodded, wondering how much the wizard knew and then inwardly sighed - Dumbledore always knew everything.

"Quite. So I am also led to believe that in this period the wolf sometimes dominates an individual if it is provoked," Dumbledore continued, his twinkling eyes never leaving Remus' nervous ones.

"I don't know sir, no one's exactly been clear with me about this whole... thing," Remus answered honestly.

"Well, I have it on good authority that this is so. I believe that the cause of this imbalance is due to the wolf's emotional state, and the need of a mate," Dumbledore said.

Remus nodded wretchedly.

"I suppose I should pack my things then?" he asked.

"And why would you want to do that Mr. Lupin?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well, I don't suppose you want an emotionally unbalanced werewolf roaming around Hogwarts. Just look at what I've done to Rosier," Remus said miserably.

"No, an emotionally unbalanced werewolf is never a happy thing, but I think you needn't leave us just yet." Dumbledore smiled softly.

"You mean I'm not expelled?" Remus asked, quiet hope filling his eyes.

"Not today Mr. Lupin, but I would like you to do something about this," Dumbledore suggested gently. "The situation is only causing you pain."

Remus looked up into Dumbledore's caring expression and his heart quickened frightfully. Did Dumbledore know? Did he know about Sirius?

"I wish I could do something Headmaster, but it's impossible," Remus said, sighing sadly.

"Nothing is impossible, merely improbable." Dumbledore paused and then smiled. "I think I may have a solution for you, Mr. Lupin."

*