A Mate

A Mate

Chapter 4: Full Moon

The world slowly came back to him in brief flickers of sound and images; Remus had no idea how long he'd been unconscious. Everything hurt, and it seemed as though the air was closing in on him, suffocating him with a high-pitched pressure.

After taking a moment to calm himself, Remus tried to push down his hyper-senses and concentrate on where he was. He kept his eyes squeezed shut to the bright light and listened for any clues. The high ringing sound finally started to subside, and Remus started to breathe easier as he realised he was slowly but surely, returning to normal. Soon enough small snatches of conversation came to his attention.

"... Mr. Black, can't you leave? I'm trying to help Mr. Lupin and you're only making this whole thing more difficult!"

"Well, if you'd just tell me what's wrong with him-"

"Nothing serious," came the curt reply.

"But he passed out!"

"Yes, well, in his state at the moment, it's expected. Now, would you kindly leave?"

"His state? What 'state'?"

"Mr. Black, if you don't leave right now, I'll call for Professor Dumbledore!"

Remus heard Sirius' angry footsteps as he stormed out and only then did he realise what Madam Pomfrey had said. He gasped and sat up, the shock finally pulling him out of his semi-unconsciousness.

Dizzily, he saw a blurred figure he assumed was Pomfrey, come towards him.

"Are you alright Mr. Lupin?"

Remus shook his head, more from trying to clear it then an answer to the nurse.

"Well, I suppose that's to be expected. I'm glad your parents chose to inform me about this whole business or else I wouldn't know what to do with you!" the nurse said exasperated, yet with a hidden fondness she seemed to reserve for Remus.

"My parents told you?" Remus asked uneasily, blinking as the world finally came back to focus.

Madam Pomfrey looked at him oddly.

"Of course dear, what if something happened and I didn't know how to take care of you?" she asked, bustling off to get some more medicine.

"So..." Remus frowned, unsure if he liked the idea of Madam Pomfrey knowing about his situation. "What's wrong with me?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about. This is all just part of your maturing. Your senses are probably just re-aligning themselves for your adult body. Well, I presume they are. I wasn't told much about this whole thing." Madam Pomfrey scowled into a jar of something that probably tasted horrible.

"Um, sorry..." Remus said, wondering why the nurse wasn't sending him pitying looks if she knew he had a six-month deadline.

"Hmph. Well, I suppose these things are hushed up in the werewolf community, hmm? But honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about," the nurse said, approaching Remus with the medicine.

Remus just looked at her, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

"After all it's only going through puberty late. All this secrecy for something normal boys go through... I don't know. It seems unnecessary to me. But then there are all these strange side-effects you're going through so maybe it's for the best." The nurse smiled at the boy.

He looked at her and suppressed a sigh of relief. So his parents hadn't told her everything? Well, that was at least one piece of good news anyway. Yet even though Pomfrey had no knowledge of his mate problem, he still thought it was for the best she said nothing about it. After all, if Sirius had caught on about his 'state' and started some foolish search for the truth there would be problems....

"Um, Madam Pomfrey?" he asked hesitatingly, just before she was about to feed him some truly ugly-looking goop on a spoon she was holding up.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Can you, um, keep this quiet, and er, not mention anything to anyone?" he asked her, flushing a little under her amused gaze.

"Of course. I am a professional med-witch. Now take your medicine dear," she said as she force-fed him the goop.

Remus choked the horrid stuff down and she patted him on the head fondly.

"Now get some rest." She smiled and Remus felt his eyes closing against his will and he soon fell into a deep, potion-induced sleep.

*

Had Remus been awake, he would have found something to worry about. Sirius, it seemed, was not about to give up his search for the truth; as Remus continued his forced sleep, his unknowing crush was searching for answers.

"Nothing, bloody nothing!"

"Nothing?"

"Not a ruddy thing. There's some mention of werewolves, but you know the drill; monsters, need to be killed - I tell you James, I'd love to kill those bloody murderers! Probably people exactly like Rosier, that bloody rapist piece of-"

James sighed as he watched his best friend rant while he kicked a pile of books at his feet repeatedly. The boy was incorrigible, he really was. He'd go on and on about their friend for hours if he were uninterrupted, but address this fact and you wouldn't get another word out of him.

"- and then I'd watch and laugh." Sirius finished with a vicious grin.

James rolled his eyes before noticing the Librarian's rather rage-filled expression as she watched her books being used as anger management for a lovesick teenager.

"Come on Sirius. I think it's time we left," James said, looking pointedly at Pince.

Sirius caught sight of the fuming woman making her way over to them and he hurried out with James, both boys laughing as she tried to run after them. A screeching whisper of "book abusers!" followed them as they ran breathlessly down the corridors.

When they'd regained their breath and had escaped Pince's possible punishment, they leaned against the passageway walls, laughing companionably.

"Woman's worse than Moony about her books." Sirius laughed.

James just shook his head at him, amazed at his friend's one-track mind but willing to go along with it.

"So what do you want to do now? There are no books whatsoever on a werewolf's special 'developments' as you insist on calling them."

"Well, I'm not sure. Don't look so skeptical, James! You know something's wrong with Remus. His nightmares, his moods ... he seems so sad all the time. And now he's sick. Madam Pomfrey said something about a condition - and I know that might be because of tomorrow, but the full moon doesn't normally take so much out of him! I just want him to get better," Sirius finished quietly.

James smiled slightly.

"I know, Sirius." After a slight pause James's eyes widened and he suddenly slapped Sirius upside of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Sirius demanded, rubbing his head.

"You silly mutt! You bought a book on werewolves when we found out about Remus, remember?"

Sirius suddenly laughed.

"Of course. It was the only one that didn't go on and on about silver bullets."

James smirked, "I guess you should be grateful that at least one of us has brains."

Sirius smirked back at him and returned James's slap.

*

When they arrived in the dorms in Gryffindor Tower, the boys pulled out the book and looked at it with dread.

"I forgot it was so big," Sirius commented as he lifted the heavy book onto his bed.

James glanced at his friend and then down at the book again, giving a strangely cheerful grin.

"Right that's that then. I've provided the very useful information on how to get the answers; now I'll leave the rest up to you." James started to back towards the door but Sirius grabbed his sleeve.

"You are not leaving me to read all that. We didn't even get through the first chapter when I first bought this, this tome! I don't know where the answers are in that bloody monster!"

"Well, sorry mate but you're on your own. I've done my good deed for the day. It's your obsession - I mean mission. Besides I promised to help Peter with his speech to poor old Margot. So, toodles." And with that James slipped through the door, leaving Sirius staring mournfully at the large volume that was titled 'Furry Paws; Human Heart'.

He flicked to a random page that seemed to have been heavily thumbed and read the chapter title, 'Werewolves and their Mates: Calls and Signs of the Search for Love'.

Sirius glanced down the page, barely reading 'at this time the wolf is violent in its search for a mate and as such, its lonely call can be heard each hour during the change. This is one of the first signs that the werewolf is in the process of-' Sirius yawned and closed the book, frowning irritably.

This thing was as bad as those silly magazines the girls read with their stupid articles like 'How to know if your wizard loves you'. Sirius sighed and decided to read it another time if he got desperate. Love couldn't be Remus' problem - at least Sirius hoped it wasn't....

*

"Moony... Moooooony!" came a crooning voice.

Remus frowned at the noise that woke him. He'd just been having a really nice dream about-

"Sirius!" Remus squeaked as he opened his eyes to find the dark-haired boy almost nose to nose with him and grinning mischievously. Remus blushed at how close they were, Sirius' incredibly male and musky scent filling his senses.

"Morning, Remus," Sirius said cheerfully as he moved back and sat on the chair next to Remus' bed, apparently not noticing the young werewolf's flustered look.

"What are you doing here this early?" Remus grumbled as he looked out the window and saw that it was hardly light outside.

"Early! It's not early at all. You've been asleep all day." Sirius grinned when Remus' eyes widened. "We tried to get you up but Madam Pomfrey said you must have been really tired 'cause you were practically comatose. She said that you're gonna have to spend tonight in here as well, and I'm guessing that's 'cause of the full moon and everything."

"Huh?" Remus asked, a little confused at Sirius's excited babble.

It was the full moon already? Well, that might explain why he'd been so tired, but had he really missed a whole day of school? Remus winced when he realised this meant he'd have to catch up twice as much work as usual.

"Remus, are you all right?" Sirius asked, leaning forward to look at his friend worriedly.

"Oh, yeah, I guess," Remus mumbled, flushing a little as Sirius studied him.

Sirius stopped and sat back, shaking his head wearily. "No. No you're not, Moony. Why did you faint in the hall?"

Remus bit his lip and looked at his own slender hands as they guiltily twisted the covers he was lying under. Why did Sirius keep on questioning him? Didn't he understand he couldn't answer? Sirius couldn't know....

"It was just, just Rosier. He saw me on the way to the hall and, um, he pushed me in. I guess I must have hit my head?" Remus proposed hopefully, trying to sound sincere but failing spectacularly.

"Rosier again? I didn't realise he'd pushed you in...." Sirius frowned and growled angrily as his thoughts grew distracted with a wave of pure hatred for the Slytherin. "That slimy bastard. I thought he'd bugger off after I'd hexed his nose not to heal, but-"

"You? It was you that did that?" Remus asked, remembering Rosier's unhealed nose and the near manic anger that had flashed in his eyes every time Sirius had been mentioned.

"Yeah. Bloody git whined a hell of a lot to Pomfrey when she said it would have to heal normally," Sirius sniggered.

Remus felt a brief rush of irritation rise up in him as Sirius had indirectly gotten him into the Hospital Wing, but then it left just as quickly as it had come. Sirius hadn't intended it to happen; besides, Rosier would have probably done something like that anyway. Remus gave Sirius a small smile and was glad he'd stopped his irrational irritation when he saw Sirius grin back at him like a playful puppy.

"So I'm stuck in here, am I?" Remus asked, mournfully.

"Yup. And I thought you might look at it that way, so look what I brought you." Sirius grinned as he dug in his bag that had been slung on the floor. He held up some books, paper and a quill.

"The work from today?" Remus asked, smiling a little wider.

"Uh huh. You can copy all my notes and if you're very good I'll even tell you what we are supposed to do for homework," Sirius teased.

Remus stuck his tongue out at him for making fun of his studying and Sirius laughed. Remus couldn't believe how thoughtful Sirius had been. He was such a good friend. The werewolf had to quickly smother the urge to jump into Sirius' arms and hug him tightly. When he pushed down the impulse, it left an almost bitter feeling that clenched his heart and he smiled sadly.

"Moony?" Sirius asked tentatively.

"Yeah?" Remus asked, pushing away the sadness as his expression faded to an unreadable look.

Sirius seemed about to say something but then the door to the Hospital Wing burst open and in ran James, red in the face and giggling madly.

"What's up with you?" Sirius asked curiously.

James just laughed harder and gestured to the door.

Remus and Sirius both looked and their eyes widened as they saw Lily dragging in a very, very flustered and odd-looking Peter. The boy's embarrassed expression was justified - his skin had turned bright green and he was freckled with huge, yellow warts.

Sirius burst out laughing and Remus giggled, earning a humiliated wail from Peter and a disapproving scowl from Lily.

"Really, boys! He's your bloody best friend!" Lily scolded angrily.

"What is all the noise in here?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she whisked into the room, her eyes widening at the sight of Peter.

"Oh dear. Well Mr. Pettigrew, you'd best come with me," the nurse said, leading him away.

The three remaining boys all stopped laughing when Lily walked within hitting range.

"Honestly! How can you laugh when he's just been so embarrassed?" Lily asked, her eyes narrowing, mostly addressing James who shifted guiltily under her stare.

"Well, it was kind of-"

"James Potter, don't you dare finish that sentence. Your best friend has just been cursed for asking the girl he fancies to go on a date with him," she huffed.

"Well, it's not like you haven't done it to me," James whinged.

Sirius grinned at the boy and even Remus smiled as he remembered some of the hexes Lily had used on James over the years to try to get him to leave her alone.

"Yes, but I bet he didn't laugh at you, did he?"

"Actually-" Sirius started but was stopped with a glare from the redhead.

Lily ignored the two smirking boys and her eyes fell on Remus and she smiled as though she had only just noticed him.

"Hello, Remus. How have you been? As you can see I've had a horrible time dealing with these children," Lily said as she glared at the other two.

Remus smiled at her awkwardly, wondering if she still remembered their conversation in the hall. He felt a little guilty for not talking to her lately as he'd basically avoided her since their talk, but was glad to see she'd not held it against him.

"I'm fine, thanks. Just a little ill I guess." He smiled at the girl, not noticing Sirius' small frown.

"Good. I think we'd better be going though, don't you boys? After all, Professor Slughorn was quite firm about getting our essays in tomorrow," Lily said, her eyebrows lifting expectantly.

"Merlin, Lil, you're almost as bad as Remus." Sirius grinned.

Lily rolled her eyes and looked back at Remus worriedly. "Can you come back yet?"

"Um, no... I think the nurse wants to keep me over night," Remus said, his eyes reminding his friends that it was a full moon tonight.

Sirius looked strangely happy and exchanged an impish grin with James.

"Okay. Well, see you Remus. Tell Peter to meet us in the common room," James said as he walked off with Lily who waved, before disappearing out the door.

Sirius smiled at Remus and the tawny-haired boy jumped when Sirius suddenly leaned down, his breath tickling his ear.

"Later," Sirius whispered, his hand dropped to Remus' arm in an almost loving motion before he cheerfully ran out after the other two.

Remus blinked, confused at the odd moment that had set his heart beating. What had Sirius meant, 'Later'?

*

It was just getting dark when Madam Pomfrey ushered Remus down to the Willow. Remus glanced up at the sky and sighed mournfully as he stumbled - the moon's pull already making him weak. Madam Pomfrey frowned in concern as they continued on, worried for her monthly charge. They soon came to the Willow and the nurse quickly froze it and led Remus through. As he passed into the tree he paused, scenting something familiar.

"Sirius?" he whispered, confused.

He heard a muffled squeak and frowned. That had sounded like Peter....

"The moon's almost up," Madam Pomfrey said softly, her hand tightening on his shoulder in attempted comfort.

Remus flinched at the touch.

"No, they can't be here! It's too dangerous!" Remus cried.

"Yes, I know dear. Now, come along." Madam Pomfrey had been warned by the Headmaster that puberty would make his monthly trials harder for Remus, and so she dismissed the exclamation the same way she might dismiss a fever victim's ramblings. She held on to his weakened body despite his obvious discomfort and helped him through the passageway to the decrepit shack.

As they entered, Remus thought that he heard a quiet shuffle and looked reproachfully at the conspicuous empty space in the corner of the room. Madam Pomfrey left with one last anxious glance, shutting the door behind her. When it locked with a click, he sighed irritably. The moon had sapped his strength so he hadn't the energy to be angry.

"What do you think you're doing here?" he asked wearily, as he fell onto the ruined bed in the middle of the room, a cloud of dust swirling up around him, making his nose itch. But he was too worn to sneeze.

Three grinning faces appeared from thin air, one face grinning harder than the others.

"Get out of here! Now! It's almost time," Remus hissed as he wrapped his arms around himself.

"Now, now, Moony. We've got a surprise," Sirius said excitedly, his grey eyes twinkling in a manner worthy of Dumbledore himself. Gesturing dramatically to James like a ringmaster introducing a circus act, he announced, "I'd like you to meet Prongs!"

For a moment Remus stared at Sirius as if he'd gone mad but then his eyes were drawn to the messy haired boy as he bowed. Remus' eyes widened with wonder as James' flesh flowed into the form of a beautiful young stag. It approached him and pulled a bit of his hair playfully while Remus stared at his friend in awe.

"Introducing Wormtail." Sirius gestured to Peter, who smiled nervously and then shrunk until he'd turned into a small grey rat. Wormtail squeaked and scrambled his way up to Prongs' back, proudly sitting atop the somewhat vexed stag.

Remus felt his throat clog.

Then Sirius smiled softly into Remus' grateful, tear-filled eyes, "and finally, for you Moony, I'd like you to meet, Padfoot," and with that Sirius opened his arms and his body curled into a big, black dog.

"You've done it!" Remus blurted out in shock, hardly able to believe his friends had done this for him. He'd never find more faithful friends in the entire world, he was sure. His happy tears left clean trails through the dust left on his cheeks from the bed before dripping off his face. He hated to cry in front of anyone, even his friends, but he didn't care because this was one of the happiest moments in his life.

Sirius - Padfoot, he amended, mentally - sniffed at Remus' hands, getting to know his scent. Then he barked once, happily, and pounced on his friend, licking his tear-streaked cheeks and wagging his tail excitedly. Remus smiled and buried his hands into the dark, soft fur. The stag looked on with amusement as Sirius whined happily at the petting. Then Remus abruptly stopped and blushed as he realise just who it was he was petting.

A sudden sharp pain reminded him of what was about to happen, and he looked at the moon outside the dirty windows with dread. He scooted back from the dog and whimpered as his bones snapped and started to re-align.

Padfoot started forward but Remus shook his head and looked away - clearly ashamed his friends would be witnessing this. The dog retreated to the stag and frightened rat and looked on with horror at the pain their friend had to go through every month, for the last eleven years. None of them had thought about how horrible it would be, not really. They hadn't thought about how the bones would reconfigure, how the organs were shoved around and how the skin split to make way for snout and tail, fur spiking through rapidly. They hadn't realised just how intense and painful Remus' change actually was.

The boy's whimpers increased and all three turned away, unable to watch anymore of their friend's pain. Human whimpers soon turned into wolf ones and the transformation was complete.

There now in Remus' place was a wild, tawny wolf, golden eyes flashing with rage and pain. The wolf lay there groggily for a few moments, panting and growling low in his chest as he recovered from the change. Suddenly he tensed, snarling... there was an odd scent wafting through the air, strange and yet familiar...

The wolf leaped to his feet, spinning around to face the threat, hackles raised, body taut and crouched, ready to spring. He was almost stunned to find not just one, but three animals behind him. The wolf regarded them all with a wary wonder - he'd never seen others before....

The stag held himself stock-still, cautious and guarded, eyes wide and ears perked for the slightest sign of attack from what his instincts insisted was a predator. The rat on his head twitched nervously, nose sniffing as he watched and waited. Only the dog (a creature so much like him, like the wolf) seemed somewhat relaxed, if watchful, and the wolf suddenly noticed that the scent he'd smelled before was from this one.

The dog whined cautiously and the wolf stepped back, confused. How did he know this scent? It was so familiar, so comforting.... The wolf approached the dog and sniffed it warily, springing back as it sniffed him in return.

The dog seemed to find that amusing and the wolf growled a warning. Padfoot's instincts soon took over and he quickly dropped his eyes from the wolf's, lying on the ground near the wolf's forepaws and rolling to expose his belly, head back to offer his throat. It was a plea for acceptance, and an offer of loyalty.

Inside the wolf, something shifted, wept, rejoiced. He wanted to howl with glee. At last! What he was made to be a part of - Pack! Regally, he bent to sniff the dog's throat, imprinting the scent as Pack in his mind, before giving it a soft, playful nip, tongue lolling out in a wolfy grin. The dog rolled to his feet and barked a playful challenge, and then stilled as the others drew near. The wolf gently closed his mouth around the dog's snout, declaring his acceptance as Packmate, and the dog trembled with excitement. Then the moment was over, and Padfoot was cheerfully prancing, puppy-like, at the wolf's side as the wolf turned to regard the two remaining animals.

The stag seemed to have found the two's passive actions reassuring, and he stepped forward to incline his head majestically towards the wolf, as the rat clung to his antlers for dear life. The wolf regarded them for a moment, slightly confused. His instincts said that they were prey animals, not packmates, but he still recognized them as familiar, comfortable. He sniffed at each, studying them, before giving a snort of approval and repeating the mouthing of Padfoot's muzzle with the stag - the rat was deemed too small but none the less accepted.

The dog seemed to see this odd exchange as acceptance and barked happily as it bounded at the wolf. The wolf nipped the dog playfully and so started a night of play, something the wolf had never experienced before. It finally had companions, and possibly a mate....

*