A Mate

A Mate

Chapter 3: Spaced Out of Sensation

Remus had decided. It was a simple solution really - the easiest way. Perhaps the only way.

He was going to avoid Sirius.

How else could he possibly face him otherwise? It had been two days since he'd walked out of History of Magic and Remus knew that it was the only way to keep Sirius as his friend - in a bizarre, twisted kind of way.

Remus glanced at his friend and hastily looked away as he saw Sirius already gazing at him questioningly. He knew something was wrong. Remus had hardly said two words to him since he'd left Binns' class and Sirius was obviously worried. It was near the end of Transfigurations and Remus was thankful for that. Professor McGonagall had been giving them an incredible amount of work lately and even Remus - ever the eager academic - was struggling with the workload.

When McGonagall had finally told them to pack up, Remus sighed in relief. He quickly put everything in his small leather bag and was about to dash out of the room when someone grabbed his robe, and he was jerked to a sudden stop. He turned and looked up at the constraining arm to see that it was Sirius. The other boy frowned as Remus jumped back from his touch. It was not something Remus needed right now. Sirius being in sight was enough to fluster him, touching him made him increasingly, er, flustered...

"Where are you off to so quickly?" Sirius asked him, James looking over the boy's shoulder curiously to also watch Remus.

Remus looked around the nearly deserted classroom for inspiration and, seeing Lily making her way out of the room with a distracted expression, sighed in relief.

"Oh. I, er... promised Lily to help her with the Potions essay and... um... was just heading over to- to the library," Remus lied nervously, Sirius' close presence filling him with that strange anxious excitement.

"Really? She didn't mention-"

"Well, I've got to go. See you guys later okay?" Remus said quickly cutting James off.

"What about lunch?" Sirius called after him. Remus pretended not to hear and hurried off into the crowded corridor.

*

Remus frowned as he looked out at the lake and sighed. This was not as easy as he had thought it would be. Avoiding Sirius for the past week had been nearly impossible. Wherever he went, the dark haired boy always seemed to turn up. If Remus hadn't taken it so seriously, he would have sworn this was some kind of new game cooked up by Sirius to taunt him. Just now Remus had barely escaped his friend and his wounded expression after Potions, leaving him and the others as soon as he had a chance to run.

"Remus!"

Remus turned and saw James walking swiftly towards him.

"Hello," Remus said quietly, as he stopped his frustrated pacing by the lake.

"What are you doing?" James asked.

"Walking," Remus replied.

"It's too cold to be out walking. And that's not what I meant and you know it." James frowned.

Remus sighed. He knew this had been coming. Every time he turned away from Sirius, he'd seen James's accusing eyes and Lily's wondering ones. Remus ignored the silent rebuke in those looks and tried to make himself believe that they wouldn't interfere. Yet he knew James wouldn't let a problem lie, especially as Lily was probably pushing him to find out what was wrong. Remus now avoided her more than ever - she knew at least a part of his secret and he just wanted to pretend it wasn't real. If she talked about the whole thing, it would only remind him that yes, this was reality, he had gone and stupidly fallen in... lust with his best friend.

"Have you had a fight with Sirius? He said he doesn't think so, but, Remus, he's really upset. Why do you keep avoiding him?" James asked.

"I'm not avoiding anyone, James," Remus said, looking up at the sky and the fading sun. It would soon be dark. He could see the half moon in the sky and he felt its call, felt the echoing sorrowful call of the wolf, felt the pain of the loneliness he now had to hide as well as the other hundred things in his life.

James caught a glimpse of the other boy's pain and stepped closer to his friend - only not touching him because he knew of Remus' aversion to physical contact.

"Are you okay Remus?" he asked softly.

Remus looked up in panic and stepped back, giving James a weak smile.

"I'm fine. Just, y'know." Remus pointed to the sky.

James nodded and sighed, running a hand through his messy hair.

"I'll let you handle this I guess, Remus, though Lily's going to have my head! Y'know, you're better at this sort of thing then any of us, but who's there to help you?" James smiled sadly.

"I don't need help James. Everything's fine," Remus reassured him.

"I'm sure it is," James muttered. "Right then. We'd best go before we miss dinner, huh?"

"Um, I'll think I'll skip," Remus said hesitantly.

"Remus," James whined.

"Really, I'm not hungry," Remus said, desperately just wanting to fall into bed and forget this whole conversation.

"This is the third time you've missed dinner this week!" James said angrily.

"Been keeping an eye on me James?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"No. Sirius has."

Remus bit his lip and looked at the floor.

"Night, James."

He heard James sigh as he walked back to the castle in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room, and the feeling of guilt that had lately been gnawing at him suddenly flared up again as he walked away. He shook his head angrily. It wasn't any of James' business. He was keeping away from Sirius for the other boy's sake, as well as for his own sanity's sake. All he ever thought about was Sirius - it was driving him mad. If Remus actually went within speaking distance of Sirius, he didn't know what he'd do. It was bad enough in lessons when he'd catch the fleeting musky scent of the other boy, or his hearing would latch onto the sound of his voice, catch a glimpse of his smooth tanned skin... it was all very distracting! And Remus had had enough.

It was incredibly tiring, avoiding his best friend and yet, secretly watching him. He had no doubts now however - he was completely infatuated. What confused him was how it had seemed to come from nowhere. One minute he felt nothing, the next BAM! He was plagued with thoughts of his best friend kissing him, caressing him. One casual touch had been enough to make him crazy.

He mumbled the password and stumbled through the common room and into the fifth year boys' dorm. He sighed and dropped onto his bed, his energy drained by the wolf's pull and by avoiding the one person he most wanted to be with.

The door was suddenly flung open and slammed shut. Remus winced at the noise.

"That's it! I've had enough! What is it Remus? For the past week you've been different - or should I say more different? Ever since you came back, there's been something on your mind, ever since you changed... Tell me what's wrong," Sirius demanded.

Remus looked up in surprise to find a very angry Sirius striding up to his bed. Remus noted absently that the rage in his stormy grey eyes made them seem darker than their usual pale colour.

Remus sighed, his eyes dropping to the floor as they always did now when he looked at Sirius. It stopped temptation. Temptation of exactly what he couldn't be sure of, as he usually cut his thoughts off before getting that far. But he was sure if he met those fiery eyes, he'd be unable to stop himself from, from...

"Remus? See! You're doing it again. It's almost like I don't exist anymore, Moony!" Sirius said, desperately. "What's wrong? I know something's happened. Why won't you tell me?"

Remus risked a glance at the other boy. Sirius looked so distraught that a horrible wave of guilt swept over him, making him choke back bitter tears.

"I'm - I'm sorry Siri. I guess I've been a little out of it lately," Remus said softly.

Sirius looked at him, eyes narrowing shrewdly. He knew there was something else, but Remus would not give in to him. Remus already felt guilty enough for allowing Sirius to even notice his internal dilemma. The other boy had more important things to do than worry about a werewolf with a screwed-up love life.

"You've been avoiding me," Sirius said, a little accusingly.

Remus flinched and nodded forlornly.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did," Sirius said.

Remus flushed at the sincere apology. It was he who should have been sorry! He hadn't meant to push Sirius away - it had just seemed the least painful thing to do.

He had lost control. When he'd realised he liked Sirius, he had soon afterwards come to a rather disturbing conclusion: he liked only Sirius. And if that was so, if he couldn't find another possible mate, he was in trouble. This had made him panic, and he had backed away from Sirius, hoping that his sudden crush would fade. Unfortunately, it seemed only to be getting stronger.

"You did nothing. I've just been... distracted. I'm sorry," Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled anxiously and suddenly engulfed Remus in a tight hug. He seemed to then realise what he'd done and let go sheepishly.

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine," Remus said, bemused he didn't mind the affectionate gesture.

How had he not noticed that he didn't mind if Sirius touched him? Sirius smiled again and grabbed his hand, dragging him over to his bed.

"C'mon, let's play chess. Bet I beat your scrawny ass," Sirius said playfully, as he sat on his messy bed and set up the chessboard, no doubt left there from an earlier game with James.

"That sounds interesting. What are you betting?" Remus smiled, caught up in Sirius' happy mood.

Sirius thought for a moment.

"I know! I bet you a secret. A secret you've had to keep recently," Sirius added, smugly.

Remus smiled ruefully. It seemed Sirius didn't buy his excuse after all. Well, the boy was persistent, you had to give him that.

"Okay," Remus agreed, hesitantly. After all, Sirius winning against Remus was almost impossible - it would be like Peter getting an O on a Potions essay.

*

After the game was finished Remus cursed his misplaced confidence as, against all the laws of nature, Sirius had won. Remus sat with his mouth slightly open in shock as Sirius checkmated him.

"Wow, what can a person do with the right motivation, huh?" Sirius grinned.

Remus looked up at him over his own shrieking and angry pieces (the queen giving him a rather rude gesture for losing) and frowned slightly.

"Well, pay up. I want to know what's wrong with you, 'cause I know there's something. What are your nightmares about, and why are you having them? Why did you avoid me? And do you have any idea why Evans keeps looking at me and laughing? It's getting really bloody unnerving." Sirius shuddered.

His head buzzing with the questions, Remus was just as puzzled as Sirius about the last one, and wondered what Lily found so amusing. He shook his head wearily. How had Sirius known something was so wrong?

"I'm answering one question - your first one." When he saw Sirius on the edge of objecting Remus quickly went on, "As you said secret, not secrets. I shall tell you one secret and no more."

Sirius grinned and shrugged.

"Oh well. I tried, right?"

Remus smiled and his heart beat a little faster as Sirius stretched out on his bed.

"So, why are you having these nightmares?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not sure," Remus admitted.

"What kind of an answer is that?" Sirius sighed when he saw Remus' miserable expression. "Okay, right. You don't know - but you could at least tell me what they're about?"

Remus looked suddenly furtive and bit his lip as he shifted away from Sirius. How could he possibly tell him?

"They're... about when I change into the wolf. I'm hurting. I just feel pain - it drives me mad. Then I'm in a forest and I, I..." Remus trailed off hesitantly looking at Sirius who nodded encouragingly. "Then I attack someone."

"Do you know who it is?" Sirius frowned.

Remus nodded wretchedly.

"Who?"

"...You," Remus said quietly.

"- Potter you've got to talk to him! I'm just saying-"

"Lily I've already talked to him! For Merlin's sa-"

The two stopped dead in their tracks as they caught sight of Remus and Sirius.

"Oh, are you two-"

"No, we're done," Remus said, quickly getting up and trying to get as far away from Sirius as possible.

"So you're both friends again, right?" James asked cheerfully, ignoring Lily's look of exasperation at his lack of tact.

"Yeah, we are. We're okay. It's okay," Sirius said, looking into Remus' eyes and trying to convey reassurance with a soft smile.

Remus caught the look and relaxed slightly.

"Really?" he murmured quietly so the others couldn't hear.

Sirius smiled and nodded.

Remus gave him a look full of affection for his unconditional loyalty. How had he ever managed to win this boy's friendship? How had he ever deserved it? Remus bit his lip when he realised how he was betraying that friendship.

Remus smiled sadly back at Sirius and climbed into his own bed as he bid the others goodnight. He fell asleep to the sound of James' soft laugh, Lily's giggles and Sirius' strange silence, all the time wondering when Sirius' loyalty would be broken - knowing it would be when he found out the truth. Remus ignored the discomfort of his now wet cheeks and closed his eyes, willing away the nightmare that was sure to come.

*

Remus sat up with a jolt, wondering what had woken him. The upcoming full moon had the young werewolf exhausted, so at dinner Remus had told the others he was going to bed early. They'd given him concerned looks before he'd escaped upstairs. It had been a couple of weeks since the conversation with Sirius about the nightmare, and although Remus knew Sirius was all right with it, he still caught both him and James watching him worriedly. Before he'd left Sirius and James in the Great Hall just a few hours ago, they had told him they were going on a kitchen raid and asked him if he wanted anything, but he'd quickly shook his head and escaped their worried looks, hurrying away to hide in Gryffindor Tower. From the sound of conversation that Remus was suddenly aware of, it appeared they were back.

"-really worried about him."

Remus frowned. Were they talking about him? He cautiously peered around his bed curtains but found the dorm room empty. That was odd. How could their voices be so loud if they weren't even in the room? Despite being a werewolf, Remus' hearing wasn't that good.

"Sirius, he won't tell me what's wrong. He won't tell you. I doubt he'll tell Peter. Just give him some time - y'know how he is."

Remus got up and looked to see if they were hiding anywhere. Why they would be puzzled him, but strange questions called for strange answers.

"I know James, but I can't help feeling useless. There's something really horrible going on and he won't tell us!"

"We'll just have to give him some time," James repeated comfortingly.

Remus heard a sigh and then all was silent.

The young werewolf sighed in frustration, both at what Sirius had said and because Remus couldn't figure out why he could hear them. Remus then had a thought and got out the map that James had recently been working on. It wasn't perfect, but (now that Remus had added the Recognising Charm) it could tell you who was where in the castle. He looked at it and his brow furrowed again when he saw that James and Sirius weren't even in the common room - they were just approaching it!

Had the voices even been theirs? It had sounded like them. Perhaps it was only his wolf senses playing up? Remus decided that must be it. He'd been experiencing some pretty weird things recently and wondered if this was just another of those odd phases a maturing werewolf went through. Remus sighed. He knew so little about himself, it was infuriating. He couldn't even find anything of use in the school library, although to be truthful he'd not looked too hard. The only books that had anything about werewolves in it only explained why werewolves were evil and gave long, detailed descriptions on how to kill such 'dark creatures' effectively.

Remus put the map back on James' bed and went back to his own. He was about to go back to sleep when snores and giggles from the girls' dorms invaded his ears. They were so loud his head started to ring. Then when he thought things couldn't get any worse, the few people left in the common room joined into the fray, making it so Remus couldn't even pick out one voice from them all. The noise started to get louder and louder and he realised he was actually hearing everything that was going on in Hogwarts.

"Great," he muttered.

He covered his ears with a pillow to block out the sound. He soon irritably gave up and cast a Silencing Charm before slipping into an unhappy sleep.

*

Remus walked swiftly to Potions, ignoring the few leers that were sent his way as he hurried down the dark and dank lower corridors towards the dungeons. He was still more or less creeped out by the students' sudden intense interest in him. He'd even caught some of the Slytherins looking him up and down, with (no doubt) less than honourable intentions. He'd just blushed and walked away quickly - returning to the safety of Sirius and the rest of his friends.

He opened the door and went inside, flinching a little at the intense feel of the cold brass handle. His senses, it appeared, were still acting strangely.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Lupin," Professor Slughorn drawled.

"Sorry, sir." Remus lowered his eyes, embarrassed.

"Five points from Gryffindor. Now sit down," Professor Slughorn waved an irritated hand and Remus gratefully sank down in his seat.

"Now as I was saying, dragon's blood is a very useful ingredient. It can be used-"

"You okay?" Sirius whispered as Slughorn continued with his lecture.

Remus nodded, flushing a little under his friend's concerned gaze.

Sirius studied him for a little longer, then sighed and looked away.

Remus bit his lip and wondered if he could really carry on doing this. How could he be near Sirius and pretend his very presence didn't send shivers of want down his spine? How could he stop himself from sub-consciously leaning towards the other boy? He just needed to focus. Sirius couldn't know - not now or ever. If his friend found out, Remus would lose him forever.

Slughorn eventually stopped talking and let the class get on with their set practical work. They split into partners - Sirius with Remus and James with Peter. Peter needed all the help he could get in this lesson, as it was definitely one of his worst subjects. James (the strongest at Potions) worked with Peter (the weakest) and Sirius (who wasn't bad either) with Remus (who was, at least, better than Peter). All four boys balanced each other out. They worked side by side, laughing and joking as they prepared the potion.

"No, don't Pete!" James grabbed the Mugwort out of Peter's clueless hand, just before the other boy added it to the bubbling mixture in the cauldron.

"Good save James." Sirius grinned.

Remus looked at James' exasperated face and smiled at Peter's apologetic one.

"The whole class would have exploded if you'd done that. Honestly, what's wrong with you? You've been even worse than usual today!" James exclaimed bluntly.

"I'm sorry James. I've just been a little... distracted," Peter said worriedly.

Sirius laughed and nudged Remus.

"Is it Margot again, Peter?" Remus said, smiling softly.

"No," Peter snapped.

"It's okay if you like her, y'know."

Peter looked at him miserably.

"It's not fair. Why doesn't she like me?" he moaned.

"I'm the last person you should be asking about things like that," Remus said, shaking his head.

"I'm not so sure about that Remus." James grinned. "You've got quite the fan club now. I'm surprised you haven't gone out with some of those pretty girls that are after you."

Remus blushed and mumbled an inaudible reply as he carefully cut the dead cockroaches he needed to prepare before adding them to the potion. He glanced at Peter and noted that the boy looked a little annoyed about the change of conversation.

"You should be careful Rem if you're gonna remain single. They'll be attacking you soon," Sirius teased.

Sirius smiled at Remus' shocked expression.

"Mm, we were talking about Peter's problem," Remus said, hoping they'd just drop it.

"Uh uh Moony, we're talking about your problem now!" James grinned, "If I were you I'd go 'round with my wand at the ready, all day. Lily's been telling me all about the girls who have fallen in love with you - some of them are kind of scary."

"Especially a certain Slytherin I'd love to get my hands on," Sirius growled as he glared over at Rosier.

Rosier, noticing he was being glared at, gave Sirius a sneer and turned away indifferently.

"I'm sure I have nothing to worry about. It's not as if they're going to jump me." Remus rolled his eyes.

"What about at the train station?" Sirius demanded.

"What about it?" Remus asked patiently.

"He was, saying things...." Sirius blushed.

"So?" Remus shrugged, not really wanting to think about it.

Sirius looked at him oddly, and frowned a little uncertainly.

To avoid Sirius' strange look, Remus added the last ingredient as Slughorn came over. When the potion went a pleasant shade of pale blue, Slughorn nodded that they could go. The Professor then moved on to Peter and James where he reluctantly did the same (he still held a bit of a grudge against James for apparently 'distracting' Lily from her brilliant potion-making).

As the students moved out of the classroom, Sirius stopped Remus in the corridor.

"Remus, I did the right thing didn't I? Telling Rosier to get lost? You, you're not upset cause of..." Sirius stopped and slid an agitated hand through his shaggy black hair.

Remus smiled, amused his friend thought he was upset because he was mooning over Evan Rosier.

"You did the right thing. Don't worry about that. If Rosier ever touched me I think I'd throw up!"

"But are you sure he can't have a piece of that sexy arse of yours?" James teased as he came out of the class.

"It was so creepy. I can't believe he actually said all that." Remus shuddered.

Sirius laughed.

"Oh, but Remus don't you think his blonde locks are simply divine?" James said extravagantly, drawing a look from said Slytherin who was walking a little way behind them with his usual ugly crowd.

Remus laughed with Sirius and Peter at James' dramatics.

"No, not really. I prefer brunettes," Remus giggled without thinking.

He blushed a little as he caught Sirius' eye and avoided his friend's strange small smile.

"Interesting," James said seeing the look.

"What is?" Peter asked, oblivious.

"I'm Remus' type Pete!" James exclaimed, pretending he also hadn't noticed. "Well Rem, I never knew you were for the boys but I can deal."

James put his arm around Remus coyly. Remus stiffened but forced a strained chuckle. Remus really hoped James was joking. Sirius, seeing his friend's discomfort, batted away James's arm playfully.

"He's mine James, go back to Evans." He grinned as he pulled Remus towards him and wrapped his arms possessively around the smaller boy's waist.

Remus blushed and, pretending to be exasperated with Sirius' attentions, pushed him away reluctantly. He was making his head spin! All last night he'd felt uncomfortably aware, every one of his senses heightened, and now the boy was touching him. Remus didn't need that extra torment when his senses were verging on being horrifically responsive. While being in Sirius' arms was nothing but nice, it was doing incredibly odd things to Remus - and not the normal odd things either.

"Merlin, Black! Are you so desperate that you have to maul your own best friend? I don't blame him for pushing your perverted hands away," a voice sneered from behind.

Rosier looked dangerous. He seemed to be very angry about something and Remus wondered despairingly if the Slytherin had heard what they'd been saying.

"What do you want Rosier?" Sirius snarled, his grey eyes flashing angrily.

"Nothing you can give me Black," Rosier said contemptuously. "You on the other hand..." Rosier whirled around to Remus and the boy stumbled back as the Slytherin stalked towards him like a hungry cat cornering a mouse.

Sirius angrily made to go after Rosier but was grabbed by two Slytherins.

"Get off me, you bloody gorillas!"

James dived in to help Sirius and Peter reluctantly followed. A small fight broke out in the corridor. Students stopped to watch the five fighting boys, not noticing the other two in the corner.

"What do you want Rosier?" Remus said, as he lifted his chin to look the other boy in the eye.

"You." Rosier suddenly grabbed Remus, easily dominating the smaller boy as he dragged him in to a violent kiss.

That apparently got most of the surrounding students' attention. Remus vaguely heard someone wolf whistle and shout, "Go Rosier!"

Rosier forced Remus' mouth open and shoved his tongue in roughly, licking the insides of his mouth as he gripped Remus tightly. Remus, already feeling a little ill from his distorted senses, felt his stomach churn as Evan Rosier continued the disgusting assault upon his mouth. Remus pulled away roughly and promptly threw up all over his attacker.

The Slytherin looked at him in loathing as he wiped at his robes with revulsion.

"You stupid little poof!" Rosier spat.

Remus ground his teeth together. His ears were ringing, his body aching and he felt as though the whole world was trying to invade his being. He couldn't deal with Rosier's insults now. And who was he calling a poof?

Rosier took a threatening step towards Remus. On instinct and adrenalin, Remus lashed out blindly and then stood stunned as Rosier's head snapped back. The Slytherin cried out in pain, clutching his bloody and now very broken nose.

"Don't call me a poof," Remus growled.

In retaliation, several angry looking Slytherins jumped on Remus simultaneously and Remus cried out as somebody kicked him viciously in the stomach. But then familiar comforting hands held him, and he stood shivering in Sirius' embrace.

"Don't you bastards come any closer or I'll hex you back down to the darkest pit of hell!" Sirius growled, his wand poised and ready to strike.

James and Peter flanked the two boys, wands also at the ready.

The Slytherins backed down, albeit reluctantly. They'd seen Rosier's defeat and James and Sirius were known as two of the best duellers. The Slytherins may have had better numbers, but they weren't willing to risk it. After all, he who fights and runs away...

The crowd around them let out a disappointed murmur, but both Gryffindors and Slytherins ignored them and parted at once in different directions.

"Come on. Let's just go back to the common room. I doubt whether Professor Delphi will miss us in Divination. She's probably already foreseen this and knows we can't possibly make it after a trauma like that!" James grinned.

Peter nodded, agreeing with James.

"But we've got to go to class James," Remus said weakly, though he didn't particular want to go.

Remus was still a little shaken by the whole incident and James could see that.

"C'mon Rem. It's only Divination. You're always going on about what a load of crap it is!" James wheedled.

"Yeah, I don't fancy having any more disasters foretold to happen today," Peter said anxiously.

"Okay, that's settled. Sirius, you coming?" James asked the other boy, noting his friend was still angrily seething.

"What? No, I have something to do." Sirius grinned darkly and strode off down the corridor.

Remus sighed as he watched his friend's retreating back. Why couldn't he ever just leave it? Sirius always had to go and make a big spectacle of everything. The thought that Siri was not about to do something concerning Evan Rosier never even crossed Remus' mind - it was what Sirius would do.

"Oh Rem. Just let him do what he wants. You know he'll just do it anyway." James smiled as he turned to walk in the direction of Gryffindor Tower.

"Yeah," Remus mumbled.

He started after James when Sirius's form disappeared from his sight. Remus hoped that he wasn't going to do anything dangerous.

*

Remus spent the rest of the day avoiding Slytherins as all they seemed to do was glare at him. It was time for lunch and he'd just been finishing his Transfiguration homework. The others had left him to go eat, Sirius only leaving when Remus repeated once again that he was fine and could at least walk down to the hall without getting himself in trouble. Sirius had left reluctantly. Although since he'd come back from his mystery mission, he'd been in an almost violently good mood, grinning fiercely every time his attention wandered. Remus had to admit he was more than a little curious as to what was making the boy so happy, feeling almost jealous of whatever it was.

Remus finished his Transfiguration essay and stood up, stretching. Feeling quite hungry, he thought it would be a good time to join his friends in the Great Hall. He exited the common room and walked down the corridors slowly. He was a little worried at having to go into the Great Hall, as he had been getting sicker as the day went by and had noted that human contact seemed to make his condition worse. Anytime he'd been near anyone, he'd been more uncomfortable than ever. He'd nearly not gone to dinner but James had given him a lecture on eating and told him he'd better join them later that evening to eat, and so he had been made to go.

Remus paused before the Great Hall and staggered a little. He could feel the energy of all those bodies inside the room from here. His ears rang with the painful pandemonium of a hundred conversations all taking place at once, and the tangy smell of human sweat swirled around him, causing his nostrils to flare. The scent practically burned its way down to his stomach, making him want to throw up in an attempt to rid himself of the invasive stench. He staggered dizzily, feeling detached from his body as he was taken over by unwanted sensation. Remus started to breathe quicker, his breaths coming in short gasps, he couldn't go in there. It would kill him! Already he felt as though he would pass out. He turned unsteadily to go but stopped and inwardly groaned at whom he saw behind him.

"Well, well, well," Rosier crooned as he slowly stalked nearer. "If it isn't the little faggot. Having trouble walking Remmie? Not sore are you? You know, I've heard stories about your boyfriend's... prowess, shall we say?"

Remus noted vaguely that the Slytherin's nose was still broken and wondered why Pomfrey hadn't healed it yet.

Remus wanted to reply to Rosier's sneering comment but it was all he could do to stand at the moment. His eyes were beginning to hurt from the light, and Rosier's presence only increased his discomfort.

"Or is it something else that has you staggering about, Remmie-dear? Not into more destructive habits, are you? You wouldn't happen to have smoked anything incriminating? Now I've heard stories about your boyfriend and that too." Rosier smirked.

Remus swayed a little, his stomach churning painfully as Rosier suddenly and violently pulled the slender boy towards him, only stopping when he was inches from his face.

"You know, I could make sure that some of these stories got to the headmaster, Remus. Just as a bit of justice for you since you chose Black over my more worthy attentions."

Rosier's grip tightened on Remus' collar and he pulled him closer. Remus looked up at the boy with wild eyes as the Slytherin blew out his next sentence against the werewolf's lips.

"I could have made you much happier than that scum, but now you'll never know, will you?"

Remus turned his face away from the smirking Slytherin in disgust, and as his blurred vision he caught sight of the opening hall doors. He inwardly sighed in relief as he scented Sirius coming to his rescue yet again.

Rosier, seeing someone interrupting his game abruptly flung Remus away from himself with much more force than necessary. Remus flew backwards and into the great hall, falling on the cold stone floor.

Remus was suddenly overloaded with colour, sound and smell. All of Hogwarts was in that one room and he couldn't cope with all of the million little things going on. The last thing Remus saw was Sirius' concerned face before his friend's touch sent him over the edge and into oblivion.

*