A Chance Encounter

When the doorbell rang, Sirius threw the bloody bag of rats onto his mother's old nightstand, which cackled in the familiar disconcerting way, and stomped down the stairs. His mother's portrait had started screaming the usual rant about mudbloods, halfbloods, werewolves, and blood traitors, and by the time he reached the door, Sirius was in a thoroughly foul mood. Seeing Severus Snape through the peephole did not please him one bit, and he wrenched open the door with a half-shout of "What do you want this time?"

Snape oozed in against the doorframe, as far from Sirius as he could possibly manage. He held up a flask full of something noxious and waggled it temptingly. "A little drink for your boyfriend so he doesn't bite anyone over the weekend. Wouldn't it be such a shame if he disemboweled someone...someone like Potter?"

Sirius snarled, snatched the flask, and slammed the door. He stomped off towards the drawing room, stopping only to half-turn and order, "Get your greasy head off the wall, Snivellus," before continuing into the drawing room. Snape followed, smirking.

Momentarily nonplussed, Sirius stared around the room as if Remus was hiding behind the foul curtains, about to pop out and surprise him. "Well, he was here the last time I looked," he muttered. "Probably off somewhere with his nose in some horrid old book..."

"Oh, dear, dear," drawled Snape from the door. "He hasn't transformed already and gone on a rampage, terrorizing the Muggle populace, has he? It would be such a shame if--"

"Shut up, you idiot, it's not full moon yet, I always knew your complete lack of talent at astronomy was going to--"

"It's not lack of talent, it's commendable caution where your dangerous friend is concerned--"

"He's not dangerous," Sirius shouted, turning towards the door with his wand raised.

"Not dangerous at all, which explains how he nearly killed--"

"That was your own stupid fault!"

"No, it was your stupid trick!" Snape took a step forward, his hand accidentally brushing the writing desk. A drawer sprung open with a loud crack, and a snake--a small basilisk, in fact--slithered to the top of the desk, changing into a teenaged girl in the normal fashion of an Animagus. Both men stared at her.

She had shiny raven tresses, onyx eyes beneath eyelashes that shifted from sparkling sapphire blue to deepest emerald green as they watched, and a smile that looked remarkably like Bellatrix Lestrange's beneath an impressively noble nose, the mark of a true pureblood. Her flawless complexion was a radiant white, as pale as if she had spent the past decade and a half in a dungeon or a prison or something. Her black robes bore a Slytherin badge and were unfastened enough to reveal shapely legs under a miniskirt that only bore the slightest resemblance to the normal Hogwarts uniform. She looked about fifteen, yet had a magnificently enormous bust.

Sirius demanded, "Who the hell is she?" as he backed away from her.

Snape, edging towards the door, snapped, "Nobody I know! Why would one of my students be in your house anyway?"

The girl's smile took on a simpering quality, and then she pouted. "Daddy," she said petulantly, "I just can't decide who's my true soulmate! I love Harry so much, and I want to marry him and have his babies and sit around talking to him in Parseltongue for the rest of my life... but Draco is just so sexy and he makes me feel so good! Oh, my beloved Drake.... I think I fancy them both, Daddy, what ever shall I do?" She cast her imploring gaze on both men, who turned and bolted for the door. Sirius elbowed Snape out of the way, and ran to his mother's bedroom, slamming the door loud enough to wake Buckbeak from his after-lunch snooze. Snape tripped over his robes as he ran down the stairs and out the front door, sweating as much from fear at the horrifying spectacle as from the smothering July heat.

In the drawing room, the boggart, strengthened by the unusually deep terror it had inspired in two humans at once, slid back into the desk, awaiting its next victim.