Destruction Where You Stand

Chapter Twelve: After a Thousand Reversals

"Much like a force of planets and stars and black holes: this is love.

I can remember the days of love's first, unruly birth,

moving inside of me, some gravitational ocean,

some unnamed power."

-Lamont Palmer, Love, And The Analysis of a Love

For one awful, heart-stopping instant, Sirius is motionless, awkward against him. Remus starts to back away, apologies and embarrassment already boiling over in his chest, but Sirius grabs him by the collar and pulls him in hard. Their second kiss will leave bruises, Remus thinks, and then he can't think at all, because Sirius is kissing him with a ferocity that leaves him gasping, or would, if he were capable of doing anything but kissing Sirius; Sirius, whose thumb is splayed against Remus' cheekbone and whose other hand is tangled in Remus' collar like he never means to let go. Even as Remus tells himself that he's going to be disappointed, even as he tries to set walls between them, Sirius breaks the kiss and looks at him, and if he was glowing with the triumph of disabling the Tracking Charm, he is now incandescent.

***

"You -" Sirius says, "did you? Because I never - I mean, I always - Merlin, I'm pathetic -" and he shuts himself up by kissing Remus again, careful, clever Remus, who is looking at him like their world is about to end and the only thing Sirius can think is more thank you please more. Because Remus tastes like Sirius has always imagined that he would, because Remus is holding onto him with the same desperate ache that Sirius has burned with for years, because he feels at home in a way that he hasn't since James's parents died.

"Sirius?" Remus asks. The cautious note that Sirius has always deplored is back in his voice, but Sirius is too giddy, too caught up in his own pounding heartbeat to let Remus start thinking about this. Sirius feels sixteen again, young in a way that he hasn't since the war swallowed them up, and he answers the caution in Remus's face with a dazzling grin and another kiss.

The combination seems to work fairly well as a distraction, and Sirius makes a vague note of the fact before losing himself in the feel of Remus's mouth on his, of Remus's hands threading through his hair and down his back, pulling him closer. He kisses the corner of Remus's jaw, then leaves a trail of rough kisses down Remus's neck.

Further exploration is hampered by Remus's sweater, but Sirius solves the problem by sliding his hands up underneath both the sweater and the shirt below it, pressing Remus back into his chair, feeling the muscles slide under his skin, learning by touch the body he memorized the sight of years ago. He recognises unseen scars as his fingertips pass over them, notes by feel the curve of Remus's rib that is always visible no matter how much he eats; runs a thumb over one nipple and hears Remus gasp with what sounds almost like astonishment.

Remus's eyes are dark, shadowed and glowing. Sirius rises, presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth as he does so, and is about to make up for lost time and then some when Phineas Nigellus' voice slices through the air like a knife.

"What in the name of Morgana le Fay are the two of you doing?"

Sirius jerks back. He lets go of Remus and is reaching for his wand without thought before he realises that it's only Phineas. Once he does, he glares furiously at the portrait, which returns his expression with interest.

"It's none of your damned business what we're doing," he says, his voice as sharp as Phineas' had been.

"This is not going to catch Pettigrew," Phineas says tightly. He's obviously refraining from reading Sirius the riot act. He may be only a painting, but the Black temper is hovering in the lines of his mouth and the gleam in his eyes. "It's also not going to get you out of here," he says. "Crouch bullied Ministre Heffenstein into letting the Aurors across the border. You've got about fifteen minutes before you're surrounded. At least tell me you managed to disable the tracking charm before you began molesting one another?"

"I did," Sirius says sullenly.

"At some point you'll have to tell me how you managed it," Phineas says. "That must have been a tricky piece of magic."

The unexpected compliment flusters Sirius more than a little, and softens the edge of his anger. Which is probably what Phineas intended all along. It's a Slytherin sort of thing to do.

"Right," Phineas says decisively, taking advantage of Sirius' momentary hesitation. "Where are you headed?"

"I hadn't decided yet," Sirius says. "I thought we had more time."

"I did mention Crouch's reaction to your stunt with the Tracking Charm?" Phineas inquires dryly.

Sirius looks at Remus. He's pulled himself together, and is piling up the books that are already on the table, but he looks up as Sirius glances at him. He's blushing faintly, and Sirius spares a moment to smile at him, quick but genuine. Remus looks startled, then smiles back.

"Oh, for the love of Circe!" Phineas snaps. "Stop staring at one another and figure out where you're going!"

Sirius scrubs both hands over his face, trying to banish both fatigue and adrenaline so that he can think clearly. Western Europe is closed to them, if only because Crouch will have alerted every Ministry this side of the Iron Curtain that they might be coming. That leaves America, which is too far away from Harry and from Wormtail, and Eastern Europe, which has dangers all of its own--

"We'll go back to England," Remus says.

"That's the stupidest thing I've heard you say yet," Phineas says flatly. "You'll be caught in a day."

"They won't be expecting it," Remus says calmly. "We'll feint east through Berlin, make some noise crossing the border, then slip quietly back into France. Shacklebolt will have enough sense to keep the investigation pointed into East Germany, or possibly even Poland - which will have the added benefit of tyeing the Aurors up in red tape for ages. Meanwhile, we'll have a free hand in England, so long as we keep a low profile."

"It's brilliant," Sirius says. It occurs to him that he just might owe Phineas one, for bringing him Remus.

"Thank you," Remus answers.

"It's actually quite a good plan," Phineas says, sounding startled. He quickly recovers. "I knew bringing you here was the right idea."

"Dumbledore's a smart man," Remus says. Phineas glares at him.

"Just get out of here, will you?"

"Sirius," Remus asks, "do we need anything from here?"

"Peter's finger," Sirius says, "and my money. I shrunk it last night; it's all in my pocket. The books on the table. I can get whatever else we might need, now that we're going home." He pauses. "Moony? Where in England are we going?"

"In the long term, I'm not sure. For now?" Remus smiles brilliantly. "Hogwarts."