Ad Astra Per Asperum: Part One

CHAPTER FOUR

DARKNESS

Five Quidditch practices told Harry that he was clearly not cut out to be captain of the house team. He wasn't good at strategizing and planning out moves at all. It was hard for him to get up early, or practice really late. He always wanted to put off practice if the weather was bad. Oliver Wood would have been ashamed of his captainship skills. But then, Wood also was the one to tell Harry that he should catch the snitch or die trying. Harry resigned himself to consult the rest of the team at the next practice, whenever he scheduled it to be.

Harry was exhausted with all he had to do. He had to do his normal homework and study for his usual exams nightly. Then Hermione always nagged him and Ron to work on studying for the O.W.L.s. After that he had to reserve the Quidditch pitch for the next practice with Hooch and McGonagall. Then there was the mentally and physically exhausting training that he went through three times a week. Also, there were all the Prefect duties he had to push himself to do. Hermione would have his head if he slacked off. The first years constantly awed themselves being in his presence and asked him questions. He knew that the younger students were supposed to go to the Prefects if they had any concerns or questions, but it was getting to be too much. Harry distinctly remembered not being so exasperating when he was in his first year, so he nonetheless wrote it all off as the shock of being in Harry Potter's presence, annoying as it was.

Sirius had an uncanny ability to show up immediately whenever Dumbledore called him for a Harry issue. It puzzled Harry as to how Sirius made it to Dumbledore's office so quickly whenever Harry got called in. It also annoyed him to no end that Sirius wouldn't explain, and neither would Dumbledore or Lupin. In addition, Sirius was there for many of the training sessions, as both Hermione and Ginny knew of his innocence. Arabella Figg, who Harry learned was actually a witch, and not a mad old cat lady, headed many of the training sessions. Harry learned that while on Privet Drive, she wore a glamour charm that made her appear as if she were eighty years old. Really, she the same age as Sirius. She was a pretty witch, as well, with light brown hair, pale blue eyes, and a short, slender figure. She was placed nearby the Dursleys as extra surveillance to keep him safe, which Harry thought was ridiculous, as during his third year he had left the Dursleys and hailed the Knight Bus, yet still the Ministry was worried. It didn't sound like such good surveillance to him. Arabella had brushed that off and told him that because he was not going to be returning to the Dursleys, she didn't live near them anymore.

Besides Sirius and Arabella, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Lupin made regular appearances at the training sessions. The first session that Harry, Ginny, and Hermione went through was simply theory and discussion. That time, only Sirius and Arabella were there with them. They made it explicitly clear that the skills that they accumulated were to be used for good purposes only. Voldemort was the prime example of a high-leveled Mage using his skills for the wrong thing. They all swore to it, even though Harry could never see Hermione or Ginny using their abilities for the wrong things. As for himself? He'd never align himself with the person that murdered his own parents, as well as hundreds of other people.

It frustrated Harry to no end that the Ministry of Magic was still in denial about Voldemort's return. The Daily Prophet went on reporting meaningless things, instead of any sort of information about Voldemort. In all of the visions he'd been having, Harry noticed that it was mostly planning and preparation, not torturing or murdering of innocents. The first order of business, Harry noticed, seemed to be liberating Azkaban. Harry had been practicing his Golden Patronus on boggarts, but he was worried that he wouldn't have a test object soon, because he didn't feel very afraid of Dementors anymore, now that he knew he could kill them or force them into catatonia.

Hagrid still hadn't returned. Whenever Harry asked Dumbledore about him, he was always answered with the same thing: "I'm sorry, Harry, but I cannot tell you." It aggravated Harry to not be allowed to know any of it, but he understood somewhat. It was for the sake of the mission against Voldemort. Harry idly wondered why Voldemort hadn't spoken about reaching out to the giants like he did about liberating Azkaban and getting the Dementors on the Dark Side. Harry supposed that Dementors were more useful allies rather than the giants.

The one thing that hadn't changed from last year was the usual animosity between Gryffindor and Slytherin. After every class that the Gryffindors and Slytherins shared, Harry felt himself seething with anger about any sort of comment a Slytherin made. Draco Malfoy, if anything, was even worse than he was the previous year. He strutted around with added confidence and smugness. Harry completely suspected Malfoy to be a Death Eater, or at least a Death Eater in training. He fully expected Malfoy to be a second of his father, and become the good little Death Eater Lucius Malfoy expected him to be. The good little Death Eater everyone expected him to be.

Harry sighed and sat down next to Hermione in the Great Hall. Despite the passage of weeks since Harry had revealed his Mage Twenty status to Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, Ron was still holding some sort of grudge over him. Harry knew that Ron was being incredibly ridiculous about it, and he suspected even Ron thought that he was acting ridiculous about Harry's Mage Level, but he continued to act less than friendly. Hermione confided to Harry that she definitely disagreed with Ron's decision to act distant towards Harry, but be it as she and Ron just began to 'go out', she didn't want to ruin it already. That wasn't very comforting. It was annoying, to say in the least.

"Did you do the assignment for Arabella?" Ginny asked, plopping down on the seat across from Harry, which was next to Ron. "I wrote at least two rolls of parchment on it!"

Hermione nodded. "I did it last night," she said, taking a sip of pumpkin juice. "It wasn't too difficult."

The two girls turned to look at Harry. "I did it when we came back from the lesson on Monday," he replied quietly. "It wasn't difficult, but I spent a while on it. Mine's only half a roll of parchment."

"What was the assignment?" Ron broke in, trying to look only vaguely curious. They all knew that he wanted to go to the training sessions, too, but he didn't say it out loud to them. Harry felt his cheeks flush, feeling bad about talking about the assignment while Ron was around.

Harry and Ginny exchanged a glance. "We had to write about things that are Dark," Harry responded promptly. "What things are Dark, what makes them Dark, and what is Darkness."

"How cheerful," Ron commented acerbically, glancing down at his plate. "It doesn't sound so hard, though. Just write things like the Unforgivable Curses and werewolves."

Harry blinked and stared at Ron. "Are all werewolves Dark?" he asked softly. "Look at Professor Lupin. Is he Dark? Just because they are unfortunate enough to turn into a wolf once a month does not necessarily mean they are Dark." He gazed at Ron seriously, waiting for an answer.

Ron held up his hands in defeat. "Good point, Harry," he said. "But you probably don't understand why people are so prejudiced against werewolves." Harry noticed a slight hint of superiority in Ron's tone. "During the war with You-Know-Who, a lot of werewolves went to You-Know-Who's side because they're Dark and You-Know-Who was the Dark Lord." He spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's like saying every single Slytherin turns out to be a Death Eater," Harry countered. "Just because some turn bad, doesn't mean that all of them do. You can't punish a whole group because some do something wrong. You divide and deal with them accordingly."

Ron and Harry stared at each other for a long time, Ginny and Hermione watching on uncomfortably. When Ron finally broke the gaze to look at Hermione, Harry stood up and said softly, "I have to get something from my dormitory before going. Meet you in front of Dumbledore's office."

Hermione and Ginny nodded mutely as Harry walked away. Just before he was out of hearing distance, Harry heard Hermione hiss to Ron, "Are you trying to provoke him?" Harry couldn't make out Ron's muffled answer, and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to.

Twenty minutes later, Harry left Gryffindor Tower with his wand in hand and his assignments in his pocket. He walked along the hallways until he was in front of Dumbledore's office, where Ginny and Hermione were already waiting. "Hello," Ginny greeted quietly. Harry nodded in response, and the three waited in silence. Moments later, McGonagall came sweeping down the hallway, accompanied by Arabella and Sirius in his dog form. "You're here? Good," McGonagall said, and continued walking. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny followed the three adults down the hallway and up staircases, turning around corridors on the familiar path to the room that they always went to every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

They entered the room and shut the door securely behind the group. Ginny and Hermione immediately went to sit on the wide brown sofa in the corner. Harry stood stiffly to the side. Arabella busied herself with locking charms on the door, as well as soundproofing charms. Sirius transformed into a human and sat down in an uncomfortable looking chair next to the couch. McGonagall stood in front of the group formally, with Arabella walking over to stand beside her. "Today, we are going to see if any of you have the potential to be an Animagus," Arabella said, glancing pointedly at Sirius.

Sirius grinned. "If you have the potential to do so, it should take considerably less time than it took me."

"Which is because you'll have a teacher to help and supervise," McGonagall said, shooting Sirius a stern look. Sirius smiled charmingly back, making McGonagall roll her eyes.

Hermione raised her hand. "How do we know if we have the potential to become an Animagus? And do we choose what animal we become?"

"There is a charm to be performed," Arabella answered. "It shows if you can become an Animagus, and also which animal you can become. You do not choose the animal, it chooses you. Each animal and its markings are unique to each person. Basically, the essence of the animal within you surfaces and changes your entire being into that animal." She flashed a good-natured grin at Sirius. "For example, Sirius's inner animal is a mangy old mutt."

Sirius transformed into a dog and growled at Arabella. He changed back and said, "So who wants to go first? And I promise, the charm doesn't hurt at all. Actually, it doesn't really affect you at all." He paused and glared at Arabella jokingly. "And for your information, Figg, Sirius is the Dog Star."

Arabella smirked silently at Sirius. "I'll go first," Ginny volunteered, standing up. She smiled tightly at Harry and Hermione, who watched interestedly on.

"Oh, don't think this is getting you out of discussion about those assignments I gave you on Monday," Arabella warned.

Ginny stepped up in front of McGonagall nervously. McGonagall smiled tightly and raised her wand. "Coarguo Animagus," the professor murmured, waving her wand slightly. Suddenly a cloud of smoke swirled up above Ginny, and suddenly dissipated. McGonagall shook her head. "I'm sorry, Miss Weasley, you do not have the potential to be an Animagus."

Ginny nodded. "That's okay," she mumbled, looking disappointed. She sat down on the sofa again, shifting around to get comfortable. "Oh well."

Sirius turned to Harry and Hermione. "Next?"

Harry and Hermione exchanged a glance. They both nodded and Hermione stood up. She walked over to McGonagall and waited expectantly. McGonagall said the charm again, and again smoke whirled up above Hermione's head. This time, the image of a brown and dark orange, shorthaired cat with big brown eyes appeared in the cloud of smoke. McGonagall's lips curled into a pleased grin.

"You have the potential to turn into a cat Animagus," Arabella said. McGonagall lowered her wand and the cloud of smoke with the image of the cat cleared. "We'll work on it."

The five people turned to look at Harry. "Your turn," Sirius said, trying to keep his tone light. It sounded almost ominous to Harry. He stood up straight and walked over to McGonagall, practically hearing a funeral march in his head. But it was no secret, they all wanted to see what Harry's inner animal would be, considering he was a Mage Twenty.

He stood stiffly in front of McGonagall. She raised her wand and clearly said the words, "Coarguo Animagus." The familiar silvery cloud rose above Harry's head. The image of an animal showed. The clear red and gold of a Phoenix showed up. Sirius gaped at it. McGonagall was about to bring her wand down when suddenly another animal showed up beside the Phoenix. It was a snake, completely black with two green specks above its eyes. Harry sucked in a deep breath sharply. He supposed it was only logical, considering he was a Parselmouth. Again, McGonagall moved to bring her wand down and another animal showed up. A lion, big and proud - the dead giveaway, though, was the bright, emerald green eyes that it had. Finally, nothing else cropped up and McGonagall brought her hand down, making the cloud of smoke scatter. The room was silent as they all stared at Harry, who focused his gaze on a patch of the wall. "Well," McGonagall said softly, breaking the deadpanned silence. "You have a lot of potential, then."

Harry turned and looked up at her, his green eyes penetrating her brown ones. "Is this normal?" he asked steadily. "To have three Animagus shapes?"

"You are not normal," Sirius said sharply. "Having a triple Animagus is not something that happens to everyone. You are a Mage Twenty, Harry, and this shouldn't be that unexpected." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I'm not sure if this happened to Godric Gryffindor, but it's happening to you."

"Lucky me," Harry murmured sardonically.

"Worse things have happened," Hermione said lightly. Then she turned to Arabella. "Are we going to work on this now?"

Arabella shook her head. "No, that would be hardly fair considering Ginny doesn't have a chance to become one." She glanced at Ginny, who was still staring at the area above Harry's head, wide-eyed. "Professor McGonagall will be returning to her office, or wherever she chooses to go, and we will continue with other things. Harry and Hermione will have private sessions with Professor McGonagall, and whomever else, about their Animagus training."

Great, Harry thought. Additional training to add onto my load of things to do in a day. There are only twenty-four hours in a day, and he had to eat and sleep in addition to class, training, Animagus training, Quidditch, homework and studying for O.W.L.s.

McGonagall nodded. "Potter, Granger, Weasley, hold your tongue. I will tell the headmaster about this and then get back to you." she instructed. She gave the group a tight smile and swept out of the room, her black and gold robes billowing out behind her as she exited. Arabella shut the door behind McGonagall and locked it again.

"Now," she said. "We will discuss what work I gave you two days ago." She looked around at them. "I trust you all did it?" They nodded. Harry crossed the length of the room and sat down next to Hermione on the couch. "Take out your parchments," Arabella instructed. Harry obediently pulled out the scroll of parchment and unrolled it, holding it out in his lap. Hermione and Ginny did the same. "First, I'll explain to you the purpose. We're doing theory work to begin with before any physical training here because you have to know what you're going to be up against eventually. Besides the obvious answer of Voldemort and Death Eaters, you have to know what they are before you can try fighting them."

Arabella looked around at the three subdued students. "Now, we'll collectively answer the first question. What is Darkness?"

First was Ginny. She answered in a lengthy description of horrible crimes and murders jointly combining into Darkness. Then Hermione answered quickly about things done for the wrong, bad reasons being Dark. Finally, all eyes were on Harry. He glanced down at his parchment, though he already knew his answer before looking at it again. He looked up at Arabella, then turned his head to look at Sirius. "Evil," he responded simply.

Sirius looked distinctly proud of his godson. Ginny and Hermione stared at him, not quite sure what to think. Finally Arabella broke the silence by clearing her throat. "Care to expound?"

Harry shrugged. "There's not much to expand on," he said. "Darkness is evil, however you want to put it. Immorality, corruption, iniquity, vice, whatever."

Sirius's lips curled into a faint smile. "Not to be biased or anything, but I'm with Harry on this one. You could go on and on about Avada Kedavra or the Cruciatus, but when it boils down to it - Darkness is evilness."

Arabella nodded slowly in agreement. She turned to the two girls. "What do you say? Do you agree with Harry's plain description, or do you think it's being too primitive?"

"I think he's right," Ginny finally said. "I could spew out dozens of horrible curses and potions, or just plain refer to You-Know-Who, but he's right." Hermione agreed silently.

Arabella clapped her hands together. "Next question, then. What things are Dark and what makes them Dark?"

Ginny went first again. "The Unforgivable Curses," she said. "Poisons, vampires, and Dementors."

Harry shook his head slightly, but remained silent. "What makes those things Dark?" Arabella asked Ginny, glancing down at the two scrolls of parchment in Ginny's lap.

"Dementors don't do anything except for suck out souls and happy memories," Ginny said clearly, as if reciting something she memorized. "They are Dark because they do not do anything for the sake of goodness. They feed off of happy memories, leaving people with every bad thing that happened to them, even that which is in their subconscious, which they thought that they had long forgotten.

He felt Sirius shudder behind him. He looked up at his godfather and reached out to squeeze his hand. "It's not your fault," he murmured, knowing that Sirius was blaming himself about Wormtail, and about Harry's parents. Sirius forced a smile, but Harry knew the thin smile was false.

"They do something for the sake of goodness, though," Hermione broke in. "They guard a prison to keep out criminals and people that could harm society." She looked around. "What's Dark about that? The creatures themselves might be considered Dark, but they aren't truly Dark unless they do something specific that is. Whenever Dementors suck out souls, they do it when they are told to."

"Their mere presence sucks out happy memories, though!" Ginny argued. "There is nothing Light or good about that."

Harry shook his head. "They might be Darkly inclined, but they aren't evil unless told to be."

Instead of arguing the point, Ginny continued to the next thing. "Poisons," she said. "There's definitely nothing good about poisons. They make people ill, or even kill them."

"Aren't there medicines that if you take too much of them, you'll be poisoned?" asked Hermione quietly, looking at Arabella.

Arabella had been watching the exchange with interest. The three were extremely intelligent, and all the debates between them were definitely interesting. Harry always had a simple, crucial answer to all the theory work she gave out. Slightly disturbingly, it told Arabella that he spent much time thinking about these things--and not only when she assigned it to them. "Yes," Arabella replied. "That's true, Hermione."

Hermione smiled triumphantly at Ginny. "Well then, some poisons," Ginny corrected, rolling her eyes slightly.

Ginny remained silent after that, so Hermione continued on. "The Unforgivable Curses," she said. "Control, torture, and death. All of which are inhumane to inflict on another person."

"What if you use Avada Kedavra to take someone out of their misery?" Harry interjected. "It'd be inhumane not to use it." He paused thoughtfully. "What about if someone has to do something to save their life, or someone else's. Would the Imperius be permissible for that?"

Hermione tilted her head thoughtfully. "And the Cruciatus could be used for those who are in paralysis. Or won't wake, despite everything else tried." She looked at Sirius. "Are the MediWitches and Wizards given permission to use the Unforgivables at St. Mungo's?"

"Actually, I'm not quite sure," Sirius replied. "They might call in certain people from the Ministry to perform them if it ever really got that desperate."

"I heard the Cruciatus Curse hurts a lot," Ginny interrupted. "Would they really do it to someone for a good purpose?"

Harry nodded seriously. "It does hurt a lot," he said, eyes darkening. "I've felt it. If it got necessary, they could. If the person was paralyzed, it's not like they'd really realize the pain until they were pulled out of their paralysis, so it wouldn't be complete torture like it would be to a regular person." He paused briefly. "I think that if it was between being able to walk again or not, I'd choose to be Cruciated."

They sat there in thought silently for a moment. "I suppose," Harry said quietly. "That things are only Dark if they have a Dark purpose behind them. It's based more on intent than on effect."

Arabella clapped her hands together, looking pleased. "You three have come up with interesting ideas, which no one can certainly said that are correct or incorrect. It's a matter of opinion," she praised. "However, I am afraid that it is time to cut this short. It is almost time for your next class, Hermione and Ginny. I daresay Professors Vector and Snape won't be too pleased if you are late." She nodded at Harry and Sirius. "I will be walking you back, and then returning, Harry, to continue."

Hermione and Ginny rose from their seats. "Talk to you later, Harry," Hermione said, touching him on the shoulder briefly. Ginny waved and smiled shyly and the three women exited the room. Harry sighed and stood up, only to flop down on the couch comfortably, stretching his legs across the entire length of it.

"Why do you think my father was a stag Animagus?" Harry asked abruptly, after a long moment of complete silence.

Sirius stared for a moment, thinking of an answer. "I suppose that's a difficult question to answer," he said finally. "A stag, like your father, is tall and proud. A graceful animal, yet fierce when necessary."

"I see him in my Patronus," Harry said softly.

Sirius smiled nostalgically. "Well, I can't always say that James was usually trampling things down as an Animagus, but still I can imagine why James is your Patronus. He was always brave and protective, and he could really hold his own in a wizards duel." He grinned genuinely. "He also had a killer set of antlers."

Harry grinned and opened his mouth to ask more questions about his father when the door burst open. "Hello," Arabella said, smiling. She shut the door and locked it with an array of charms. She looked back and forth between Harry and Sirius. "Did I interrupt something?"

"We were just talking about James," Sirius said, shrugging.

Arabella nodded. "Ah, great fellow, he was."

Harry's eyes lit up. "Did you know him?"

Sirius snorted. "Harry, everyone knew him. He was James Potter."

Harry arched an eyebrow at his godfather's statement. "And everyone knew who you were, too," Arabella put in with a smirk. "You were Sirius Black, the Casanova counterpart to James Potter." She turned to Harry and smiled pleasantly. "Yes, I knew him, we were in the same year. We had some classes together." She smiled. "I was a Ravenclaw so I didn't see him that much, but when Lily and I became friends, I consequentially got to know him better. That was in my... fifth year."

"Can you tell me about her? The only thing I really know about her is that she was good at charms, and that I have the same green eyes as her." He grinned eagerly. "And that she was beautiful," he added as an afterthought. "I've seen some pictures of her."

Arabella smiled. "I'd be happy to, but there's someone else that's probably better for that. I only made friends with her in my fifth year."

"Who?"

"Arabella," Sirius began warningly.

"What?" she asked innocently. "He was her best friend through all of her years at Hogwarts. She invited him to her wedding and he actually went. He'd know her the best out of everyone. Except James, of course."

"Who?" Harry asked curiously.

Sirius shook his head adamantly. "No one," he said through gritted teeth.

Harry glanced curiously back and forth between Sirius and Arabella. "Who?" he repeated.

Sirius and Arabella glared at each other, as if exchanging messages through telepathy. Finally, Sirius sighed reluctantly. "He was her best friend," he said. "Since our first year." He glanced at Arabella expectantly and motioned for her to speak.

Arabella glanced at Sirius defiantly before saying the name. "Severus Snape."

Harry reeled back, feeling as if he'd been punched in the stomach. "Snape was my mum's best friend?" he managed. "Why the hell would she make friends with someone like him?"

Sirius chuckled. "My sentiments exactly."

Arabella frowned at him. "He wasn't so bad back then. Not as bad as you make him out to be, at least." She turned back to Harry. "Lily told me she made friends with him over some Potions assignment. Neither of them had a partner. First time they met, or something like that. She was friendless back then, I'm sorry to say. A know-it-all, bookish, you know. She was very determined to prove herself and she was really stubborn about it."

Harry smiled faintly. "Reminds me of Hermione," he murmured. "But you don't see Hermione making friends with Malfoy or someone like that."

"I think all of Slytherin was surprised when Snape made friends with her, especially because she was Muggle-born," Sirius said. "But he still knew all the curses and hexes so they still respected him." He shook his head. "He didn't have friends either, until he met Lily."

"All of Gryffindor was shocked when Lily made friends with Severus," Arabella retorted. "But honestly, he was her friend, isn't that enough? No need to begrudge him over it--it was Lily's choice too." She gave Sirius a dirty look. "You, however, completely hated him."

Sirius grinned widely but remained silent. Harry had a feeling that Sirius didn't want to get in a full-blown argument with Arabella. Harry didn't blame him one bit. Arabella frowned slightly. "Enough chit chat," she said firmly, clasping her hands together and getting into what Harry called Training Professor Mode. "We must get to work."

* * *

Harry couldn't remember ever having been so exhausted in his life. There was no satisfying Arabella when it came to his magic as a Mage Twenty. It was irritating in a way, but he was pleased that Arabella thought so highly of him to be able to do some of the stuff she made him try.

It was already hours past the training session that afternoon, but still most of his limbs ached. It was close to midnight, but Harry couldn't sleep. Besides the dulled headache that throbbed in his temples, his mind kept going from Sirius to Voldemort to Cedric and back to the guilt. He lay back in his bed, trying to remain completely silent. Judging from the absence of Ron's snores, he couldn't sleep either. Dean, Seamus, and Neville were long fast asleep. Harry reached under his bed and pulled out the Marauder's Map and Invisibility Cloak. It was time for some late night exploration. Maybe it would make him actually tired enough to fall asleep, or at least provide him with something to occupy the time.

As quietly as he could, Harry tapped the map with his wand and murmured, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Inked lines spread across the squared parchment. Harry glanced at Gryffindor Tower on the map, looking at the dot that was he. With a jolt, he noticed Ron wasn't in the dormitory. He was in the common room. With Hermione, and Ginny was short ways away. Harry narrowed his eyes and pulled the Invisibility Cloak tightly around himself. After making sure all of him was hidden beneath the cloak, he stealthily crept out of the dormitory and down the stairs to the common room. He saw Hermione lying on the sofa directly in front of the fire, Ron sitting at the spot at her feet. Ginny was lying on the floor, a book in front of her.

"...something about Harry," Hermione was saying. Harry could barely hear her. He slowly stepped closer so that he was only a foot away from the couch. He warmed up in front of the fire and made himself comfortable on the carpeted floor, the cloak still tightly around him.

"He's pushing us away," Ron agreed. Harry scoffed. He was pushing Ron away? Ron was acting distant and unfriendly towards him at best.

"I don't know how to reach him," Hermione sighed. "But I know we can't let him try and abandon us." She twirled a lock of her curly brown hair absently. "I hate not knowing what to do. He's so afraid of losing us that he's pushing us away." She shook her head sadly. "It's not going to help. We all know that. I think even he does, but he still pushes us away." She stared at the fire. "I don't know what to do, and I hate that."

Ron and Hermione continued talking, suggesting random things to do that might help pull Harry closer to them. Harry rolled his eyes at most of them, even though no one could see him. They were suggesting ridiculous things to each other. Finally, Ginny, who seemed like she wasn't even paying attention, looked up from her book. "I think you're going about it in a very wrong way," she said informatively.

With raised eyebrows, Ron and Hermione exchanged a glance. "What do you mean?" Ron asked Ginny slowly.

"Well think about it," Ginny said. "If Harry wants solitude, shouldn't you give it to him? He's obviously dealing with something. Guilt, pain, anger, whatever it is. Let him run his course and welcome him back with open arms when he's done, if he ever is." She smiled wryly. "Besides, if you were in his place, would you want your best friends mothering you?" She paused and tilted her head thoughtfully, a slow grin tugging at her lips. "Though I can see why you're not with him all that much."

"What d'you mean?" Hermione asked, her eyebrows creasing together.

Ginny snorted. "Look at yourselves! You two are around each other as much as Fred and George are around each other, and that's saying something. Yet you two wonder why you don't see him that much." She sounded more as if she were stating fact instead of accusing them. "Well, good night. I've had enough of studying History of Magic. I'll just have to make stuff up if I forget any goblin names." She slowly rose to her feet and walked up the staircase to her dormitory.

Ron and Hermione stared at each other, wide-eyed. "Do you think she meant that?" Hermione asked. "That we're mothering him? And that we're around each other constantly?"

Ron shrugged slightly and stood up abruptly. "I'm going to bed, Herms. I need to think," he said shortly. Hermione nodded and watched him go. She breathed in a sigh deeply, looking conflicted. She stood up, pausing for a moment to stare into the flickering orange flames before walking up the stairs slowly to her dormitory.

Harry stared at the fire. So his friends were plotting a way to make him 'open up' to them. He sighed. It could be worse, he supposed. That didn't mean he didn't think it was annoying that they were conspiring late at night. Though Ginny was the one that was closest to being right about what he was thinking. Though it was probably because she was used to her brothers hovering over her protectively and babying her. He sighed again. The conversation he just overheard, though, wasn't going to stop him from exploring the castle now. He stood up, taking care to have the Invisibility Cloak cover him completely and pushed the portrait open.

Without looking at the Marauder's Map, Harry started walking along the hallways. He had no idea where he was going, but he was looking around interestedly. Four staircases and countless corridors away from Gryffindor Tower, Harry finally stopped. He had absolutely no idea where he was. He backed up against a wall and slid down to the floor. He held out the map in front of him, locating himself quickly. His eyes slid over the parchment quickly, going past Dumbledore, in his office with McGonagall and Snape, going past the hallway with the teacher quarters, where many of the teachers were lined up in separate, unmarked rooms.

Harry's eyes went from the teacher's quarters to a hallway just around the corner from where he was sitting. His jaw dropped slightly. Quickly, he stood up and walked around the corner, taking care to remain unheard. As he neared the door, which was a tiny bit open, he heard the sound of Lupin's voice. "Samuel, you can't protect him forever!"

"I can try," Gray came back defiantly. "He's only fifteen! He deserves a break!"

Harry realized they were both talking about him. What was it, Discuss Harry Night? Suddenly he paused and looked slowly down at the map again. It didn't make sense. It couldn't be. He slid closer to the door, just so that he was standing directly in front of it and could see through the small space where the door was open.

Gray was pacing quickly as Lupin leaned against the wall tiredly. "You and I know he deserves a break. But the fact is, he's not going to get one. We know Voldemort is out to get him, and with him being a Mage Twenty - it's going to be tiring work. But he has to do it, Samuel. It's for the greater good of the wizarding world. Dumbledore be damned if he's fifteen or even younger," Lupin said, sighing. "And we both know that he would volunteer himself if it would save those that matter to him. I think the entire wizarding community is quite the amount of people he'd want to defend."

Gray opened his mouth to argue. Harry couldn't take it anymore. He kicked the door open and threw off his Invisibility Cloak. He glared furiously at Gray. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor stared at him. "Harry."

Harry rounded on him angrily. "You couldn't manage to tell me the truth, Gray? Did you not trust me enough or something? I'm your godson and you still kept this from me? What is it, do you not trust me enough?"

Lupin blinked and stared at Harry strangely. "How did you find out?" he asked before Gray could say anything.

Harry pulled the Marauder's Map out of his pocket. "The map never lies, Professor. Remember?" He threw it on the ground at Lupin's feet. "And somehow it said the name Sirius Black with Remus Lupin in one Samuel Gray's office. I just had to listen to you two talking about me for five seconds and see Gray's face for a moment before knowing who it was." He gazed angrily at the floor. "No wonder he looked so familiar."

"Wait, I looked familiar wearing this glamour?" Gray finally broke in, looking puzzled. "Even Moony didn't think I looked anything like my actual self!"

Harry just shrugged.

"Look, Harry, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Gray said slowly. "But Dumbledore told me not to."

Harry looked up. "Why?"

Gray shrugged. "You'd have to ask him. Albus usually knows best, so I took his word for it. I suppose we didn't take the Marauder's Map into consideration when he told me to keep it secret from you."

"How many know?"

"Albus, Minerva, Remus, you," Gray counted off. He grimaced and added, "Oh, yes, Snape."

Harry arched an eyebrow. "Why on earth would you tell Snape about you? He spilled about Lupin, how do you know he won't tell the whole world about you?" He glanced at Lupin briefly before looking back at Gray.

"Being a fugitive and a werewolf are two very separate things," Lupin replied. "And when he found out he hadn't just lost the Order of Merlin, First Class." He smiled softly. "Then again, if he ever told, Dumbledore would likely kill the man."

"If I don't get him first," Gray muttered, looking annoyed.

"Additionally, this is for the greater good of the war against Voldemort, not for a Hogwarts days rival's teaching position," Lupin added in.

Harry smirked. "So I have my godfather as my Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." He paused. "No wonder you've been getting to Dumbledore so quickly whenever he calls you in when you two have to deal with me. You're in the school, you just have to take off the - glamour, did you call it? - and walk in."

Gray smiled. "Spot on. It's rather useful, I admit. Much better than living as a dog in a cave in Hogsmeade. I just do some sort of transfiguration charm that Minerva showed me to change my appearance."

Harry grinned apologetically. "Can I tell Ron and Hermione?"

Gray shook his head adamantly. "You cannot tell anyone, Harry." Harry's face fell. "I'm sorry, I don't like to make you keep secrets from your friends, but they cannot know. It's too dangerous."

"It's dangerous for them to know about their professor being my godfather?" Harry asked incredulously. "What's dangerous about that?"

"Dumbledore said no," Lupin said firmly. "If he didn't want even you to know, I'm assuming having Ron and Hermione know is out of the question." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Harry. You can ask the Headmaster about it yourself and see if you can reach an agreement, but as far as Samuel and I go, you are to remain silent about this... arrangement."

Gray glanced at Harry suspiciously. "Why are you out of bed anyway? I'm assuming you didn't just go up to your dormitory and decide to study the Marauder's Map. You're really not supposed to be out of bed this late."

Harry grinned sheepishly. "I couldn't sleep, so I was going to go out and walk around. So I did. Can't say I really knew where I ended up, though. Then I looked at the map and saw you two, so I decided to see what was going on."

"You're not supposed to leave Gryffindor Tower after hours, Harry," Lupin said sternly. "Even with the Invisibility Cloak. It's not safe."

"Was it safe when you did it twenty years ago?" Harry countered.

Gray and Lupin exchanged a glance. "Of course not, Harry, but that doesn't make it right," Gray sighed finally. He glanced at Harry's defiant expression. "Why do I get the feeling that any lecture about this kind of thing is completely lost on you?" Harry grinned brightly. Gray shook his head. "He's more and more like James every day."

"But even James went to sleep," Lupin said pointedly. "Come, Harry. We're walking you back to Gryffindor Tower." Lupin and Gray walked out of the room. With a resigned sigh, Harry shoved the map and cloak into his pocket and followed them out.

* * *

Harry strode in front of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, holding the box of Quidditch balls in one arm and his Firebolt in the other. He set the box down on the ground with a bang and dropped the broom lightly beside it on the grass. "All right," he said. "I have something important to talk about before we get up in the air." The whole team looked at him expectantly. "I can't be captain of the team anymore." They all blinked and stared for a moment before exploding into arguments. Almost all of them, at least. Harry noticed that Ron didn't seem very upset at the prospect of Harry losing the captainship. He looked almost... hopeful? Of course, Harry thought. Ron would want to become the captain now. "Stop," Harry said, holding up his hands. "You can't convince me otherwise. I have way too many things that I have to get done in a day, and Quidditch strategy isn't something I can make one of my top priorities. I'm awful with tactics and planning anyway, so it'd be not much of a loss. I don't really have my heart in the captaincy, and the team needs a captain that's got more drive than I."

Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Fred, George, and Ron remained silent, staring at him. Finally, Katie spoke up. "So who's the next captain going to be?"

"I nominate myself to not become captain!" George called out, saluting.

Fred nodded in agreement. "Same here!"

"So that leaves Angelina, Alicia, Katie, and Ron," Harry said. "Which one of you four?"

Katie shook her head. "Me? Captain? Are you mad? I'm Head Girl. I definitely don't have time to be planning out moves for Quidditch." She stepped back and stood next to Fred and George, who were standing a little to the side of Angelina, Alicia, and Ron now.

Harry's lips curved into a small smile. "And then there were three," he said dramatically. "Now. How do we choose between Angelina, Alicia, and Ron?" He glanced at Fred, George, and Katie, who were talking in low voices. "Oi, you three, don't be secretive. Help."

Ron looked up at Harry hopefully, as if trying to convey a message through his eyes. Harry refused to give in and looked away from Ron. Fred and George cleared their throats. "Us three agree on someone," Katie said. Harry walked over to them and leaned in. "Definitely Angelina," Katie whispered. "The woman's a genius at this kind of thing. Plus she's been on the team longer than the rest of us." Fred and George nodded conspiratorially. "Alicia would probably go mad after a while, because she'll be studying for the N.E.W.T.s for hours on an end or up in the Astronomy Tower with a countless number of boys." Everyone glanced at Ron simultaneously. "Ron," Katie said hesitantly. "No offense guys, I know he's your brother and best friend and all, but er, just no."

Harry snorted. Fred and George seemed to be stifling laughter as well. "Our brother? Quidditch Captain?" George asked, cracking a grin. "Er..."

"Definitely not," Fred finished off for him.

They all turned to look at Harry. He shrugged. "I have no arguments against choosing Angelina. Is that it, then?" The three nodded and stood up straight. Katie, Fred, and George stepped over back over to Angelina, Alicia, and Ron silently. Harry walked up in front of the group and faced the six people. Ron kept trying to catch Harry's eye, blue eyes filled with question and anticipation. Harry looked back and forth between the three candidates and said finally, "Fred, George, Katie, and I have chosen the next captain." Harry looked straight at Ron and noticed the smug grin crawling up on Ron's lips.

By the looks of it, Fred and George noticed it too, and looked as if they were trying to contain their amusement. "The new captain is Angelina Johnson," Harry announced formally. Everyone except for Ron cheered loudly. "Angelina, should I tell McGonagall, or do you want to?"

Angelina smiled at Harry. "Oh, I'll do it," she said dismissively. She hugged Alicia and Katie, then Fred and George. Harry glanced at Ron out of the corner of his eye and saw his redheaded best friend scowling angrily at him. Harry shrugged and moved towards the crowd.

"I don't want to burst your bubble," Harry said. "But we do have to get a move on with practice. We've got thirty five minutes left with the pitch until the Ravenclaw team is up to use it."

Angelina grinned widely at him and then clapped her hands together loudly, trying to get everyone's attention. "Everyone, mount your brooms!" she called loudly. "It's time to begin!"