Could You Pass the Tooth-Fic?

Could you pass the tooth-fic?

It was just another normal day, one amongst many normal days, sunny and bright, not a cloud to be seen. In a word - perfect.

Harry Potter woke up with a smile on his face. He had been having the most amazing dream about ... Well, better not say what it was about, otherwise the rating on this fic would have to go up...

ANYWAY, there he was, happy and serene; he got up, woke up his best friend Ronald Weasley, and after a while the two of them went down to breakfast. They were joined on the way by Hermione Granger, widely acknowledged as the best student Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had seen in close to twenty years.

'Well, you seem happy this morning, Harry,' remarked Hermione, noting the smile plastered on the young wizard's face.

'Yeah,' grumbled Ron in agreement. 'We have two essays due today. How can you be cheerful?'

'Oh, Ron, just because you're not a morning person ...'

Pleased that he had not been required to answer Harry strolled along to the Great Hall with his now-bickering best friends, and the three seventh-years found some seats on the Gryffindor table, close to where the teachers sat. After exchanging a smile with Professor Dumbledore, Harry surveyed the sumptuous fare the house-elves had provided.

'Pepperoni pizza ... yummm...' spoke the latent Homer Simpson within him, and disregarding Hermione's monologue on the unacceptability of pizza as a breakfast food, he extracted a slice from the closest pie, and proceeded to demolish it with almost indecent fervor.

The sky was blue, his homework was done, the food was extraordinary: in short Harry was having the time of his life until he heard a distinct crunch with the last bite of pizza and he wondered, 'what the fuck...?'

As realization flooded in, his mind supplied an additional, 'Oh crap...'

'Harry are you okay?' asked a concerned Hermione, as she observed the despair evident on the young wizard's face. 'Is it a vision? Is it ... Voldemort?'

Almost as if on cue, Severus Snape clutched his left upper-arm, and jumped up from his place. He rushed to the Headmaster and after a hurried whispered conversation, Dumbledore rose.

'Students will please accompany their heads of house back to their common rooms. Do not ask questions. Your compliance is of utmost importance. Teachers if you will please esc...'

He was interrupted by a loud crash as the main doors to the hall burst open to reveal Lord Voldemort and a bunch of his Death Eater cronies.

The students, who had risen at Dumbledore's words, let out a collective gasp, and ran en masse to the two side doors, but these doors burst open too, and about five death eaters appeared at each of them, blocking of all possible routes of escape.

The entire student body stood almost motionless, all except Harry Potter, who was the only one still seated, seemingly unaware of the turn of events.

'Immobulus,' shouted the Death Eaters together, and the teachers were paralyzed where they stood.

Voldemort cackled.

*MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?*

And Harry woke from his reverie with a jerk. 'What the...?' thought he, and looked up.

'Finally I have captured you! You shall feel my wrath, you insolent brat!'

'Oooh, lovely rhyme, my Lord!' simpered Wormtail.

'Silence!'

*Meep* said Pettigrew, and cowered under his Master's angry glare.

Voldemort returned his gaze to Harry, and raised his wand.

'Any lasst wordsss, Potter?'

Harry merely looked at him, his mouth resolutely shut.

'How about, "You win, My Lord"? Hmmm?' The Dark Lord sneered at his nemesis. 'Yes I think that should work. Say it Potter!'

Harry merely shook his head frantically.

'How dare you!!! I command you to speak!!! Speak, god damn you!! Imperio!!'

But Harry merely shook his head again, and clamped his hand onto his mouth.

Teachers, students and death-eaters alike marveled at the 17-year-old's power to resist an Unforgivable Curse uttered by the most powerful, most evil, and most downright scary-looking wizard in the history of the time, as said dark wizard seemed to swell with fury.

Hermione whispered fervently to Ron, who wore a dumbfounded expression highly reminiscent of a muggle actor by the name of Rupert Grint, 'It looks like he's under a Silencing Charm almost...! God, I bet it's that ferret Malfoy, let me try and release him...' and started muttering counter charms of progressively greater strength under her breath.

'You think you are being brave, young Potter, but you do not understand the folly of your ways. When I was but a young dark lord, uneducated in the ways of the truly evil I might have respected your attempts at Gryffindor bravery, but nay, I now have realized ...'

Harry had been about to let out a yawn, but stopped himself in time. Many of the death-eaters were leaning lazily against the walls, their eyes glazed over, only Peter listened with rapt attention.

Lucius Malfoy shook himself out of his reverie. 'What do you think you're doing, you filthy mudblood?' he shouted at Hermione. Many of his cohorts glanced at each other in ill-concealed relief as Lord Voldemort broke off mid-monologue.

'Nothing, nothing...' mumbled Hermione, as Lucius advanced towards her.

Voldemort sneered and continued, accompanied by audible sighs. 'There you go, Potter, concede defeat now, otherwise watch your friends suffer my wrath; witness the destruction that I cause, tremble at the ...'

But Harry had stopped caring. A cunning, nay, Machiavellian plan had been evolving in his mind, and at this point, he put it into action. He raised a hand to forestall Voldemort, raised an eyebrow, and caught his gaze with his own.

And then, without warning, it happened.

Harry Potter flashed the Dark Lord a large, cheerful smile.

And the entire hall gasped.

The Boy-who-Lived was missing half his front two teeth.

The entire contingent of Death Eaters was completely taken aback, and Voldemort was struck speechless, and in the ensuing state of unadulterated shock, a shout resounded throughout the Great Hall.

'Avada Kedavra!!'

As Voldemort crumpled to the ground, all turned to stare at Hermione Granger, who stood with her wand arm outstretched.

Harry rushed to her, as the Death Eaters scrambled in chaos.

'Hermione, you did it!! You defeated Voldemort! Weren't you fazed by my toothlessness?'

'Of course not Harry, it fitted in perfectly. I knew what you were doing all along.'

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