Vacation

Wyoming. Hermione and I were on our way to bloody Wyoming. Yee-haw folks! Wizardry had not yet taken a firm standing in the states, so the society was fairly weak-even weaker, however, in Wyoming. Circe... I said the word aloud to myself, "Wyoming... Why, Oh, Me?"

"Why oh you?" I turned around to the sound of a female´s voice.

"No," I corrected. "Why Oh Me. An even better `why,´-Why are you in my chambers?"

"Albus wanted me to check on you," she said, as she walked around my study, picking up things, (my things,) and examining them. It took all my self-restraint not to snatch them out of her hands.

"Check on me?" I was not a child, to be watched for fear of my harming myself.

"Yes." She looked at me with a bemused gaze, "I supposed he feared in your old age and senility you may forget what you´re doing."

"My old age and senility," I repeated dryly. "Forcing his characteristics on me, I see..."

She ignored my comment, much to my dismay, and said, "We´re simply trying to be of help. We know how difficult it can be with old age coming on so quickly."

"Old age?" I finally snatched a book-like victim out of her hands, and threw it in my case.

"Of course. I mean, how old are you, Severus?" she teased as she quirked an eyebrow. "Fifty-five, Sixty, Maybe sixty-five??"

"Are you daft, girl?" I wondered how old she really thought I was, but knew better than to ask, instead I asked, "What are your sources?"

"Oh, I judge on observation mostly..." She implied what she meant by looking me up and down.

I gestured to myself and spoke crisply, "Well, consider every added year to my age, a result of you, and your awful little friends, for nothing could have possibly aged me more."

"Goodness, do not give us all the credit." She smirked at me, and continued her rotation around the room while I attempted intimidation and packing simultaneously.

"Oh, but who else could I thank for adding more than a decade onto my appearance?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. "You´re seriously only fifty?"

"Ye gods. I´m forty-four!"

I believe I surprised her with that one, a joyless victory, but at least she changed the way of the conversation. "Do you know why Albus has requested we not use magic in our packing?"

"I assumed it had something to do with the rejection of magic around the states. I didn´t believe we´d make a good impression at a hotel by just waving sticks and our packages quadrupling in size."

"You don´t believe that." She looked at me squarely.

"Why, my dear girl, would I even think of telling you anything I believe?" I punctuated my sentence with a dramatic eyebrow raise. "Furthermore, I´d probably give you nightmares..."

"That is the most ludicrous load of-"

I interrupted her, "Now," I closed the case, "if you can bear a lack of my presence..." I gestured toward the door and swept past her.

Or attempted to, anyway, for Hermione maintained her nosy personality and stopped me. "Where are you abandoning me to?"

I frowned down at her. "If it eases your wounded pride, think of it as though you dismissed me."

"Professor!" she whined.

I rolled my eyes at her histrionics, "I fail to see why I must tell you," I turned to leave, "therefore, I won´t." And I didn´t, setting off down the hall at a furious pace.

************************************************************************

She jogged along. "You ought to tell me; I´m your colleague." Her typical reason.

I didn´t even glance at her. "Well then you should be used to this."

"Stop treating me like a nosy student," she spoke my thoughts, "this is ridiculous."

"Sneakers." We were at Albus´ door. The password didn´t work, which forced me to go through every candy I could think of that he hadn´t used...

She sighed in exasperation, not at my silence, but instead at my inadequacy with Albus´ insanity. "Snickers."

I blinked at her.

"Albus´ new hobby is muggle candy," she explained, entering before me, forcing me to follow her. She knocked and we entered to view the Headmaster of Hogwarts School eating some disgusting variant of sweet, and watching "The Price is Right". I had only recently included the tedious muggle show in my knowledge, as Albus´ new hobby was every and anything muggle. As would be expected, he and Arthur Weasley were exceptionally good friends.

After exclaiming some inaccurate number at the telly, Albus turned to us and smiled kindly after muttering some incantation to turn it off.

We sat down and rejected some candy, "Really, Albus," Hermione said as she rejected the second offering of candy, while I relented, "you mustn´t miss your show for us."

"For me," I corrected, with some disgusting sweet hindering my speech.

"For me," she repeated, and then turned to me with a smile. "But Professor, wouldn´t you enjoy being included in this discussion?"

I glared at her but it was to no avail. Our contest of who would blink first was ended, for Albus interjected with a reassurance of Hermione´s earlier pleasantry, "Oh no my dear, that charm I placed on the telly not only turns it off but records `The Price´ for me as well." He winked and popped something sickeningly bright into his mouth.

I sighed and tried to remind myself of why I was there. "Albus," I said, "If I may have a word..."

"Now Severus." He smiled and indicated Hermione. "Don´t be rude."

I rolled my eyes to the Heavens, "Noted..." I looked him straight on. "Seriously though, Albus, I `d like to talk to you, I´m tired of being left in the dark."

Hermione suddenly decided it was more important to attack me, rather then wait for me to get important information from the headmaster. "Stop this. Stop treating me like a child. I´m sick of it. I´m your colleague!"

She could be so stubborn. "You insist that I treat you like a child but I am only responding to your behavior," I turned from Albus to face Hermione and continued, "You portray no reason to be treated like a mature adult." She glowered at me. I reveled in it a bit. Even I admit I´m sadistic.

She opened her mouth to say something, and then to my surprise closed it. She nodded and finally spoke, "You´re right. I apologize."

Dumfounded, I blinked. After a brief moment of complete confusion I returned to my attention to the headmaster who had been quite amused by our display, "Albus," I began, "I´d appreciate knowing why you´re sending us off to the states. I trust you have a valid reason." I didn´t, but I preferred to pretend I did.

"We´d appreciate knowing," corrected the inexorable Hermione.

"Fine," I snapped," and we´d also appreciate knowing why we´re being sent unaided by magic."

"Oh, but the muggle experience is lovely!" Albus indicated all of his lovely muggle paraphernalia scattered about his office. I could have sworn Fawkes was wearing a baseball cap. "Hermione, I´m sure, would be delighted to enlighten you in their ways."

"Of course, Albus," Hermione reassured, as I scowled at the both of them. "But why must we go so far and do so without magic?"

I decided my frustrations were necessary as well. "And pray tell, Albus, why the hell, we have to do so, together?" If he was deporting me to the states, he could very well find me a far better traveling companion.

"I feel it would be beneficial for both of you..."

I rolled my eyes. "Any other reasons, Albus?" Like he had some evil being in the states he felt the rest of his crew was too precious to be subjected to...

"Actually..." And with that word I feared being correct for once in my life. "You both are here in hiding, you realize?" We made our understanding evident, and simultaneously rejected caramels, as he said, "Your magic is not tracked here at Hogwarts which is why you´ve been able to do your work so discreetly..."

"Yes." I snapped impatiently. "But why-" and then, like a bloody bludger, realization hit me.

A thousand questions flew into my mind at once. Hermione voiced one, "What? What happened?"

I ignored her, and attempted to regain my composure, "How?"

"Did they find out?" Albus completed my question, then answered it. "I´m hoping they didn´t. Perhaps they´re just suspicious."

Or perhaps they knew. "Why?"

"Apparently I´m a man worthy of suspicion." Albus´ voice had taken a depressing serious tone.

"That you are..." I agreed, lost in thoughts.

"They´re coming this weekend," Albus answered my unasked question, "I believe you have about sixteen hours if we want to be completely safe."

"Whom are we dealing with?"

Albus chuckled. "The DMW."

"Why would they want to find us after all this-"

"What is all this about!?" exclaimed Hermione, whom I just realized was still in existence.

Albus smiled at her and offered some colored candies that she promptly refused. "Well, my dear, you´re not only hiding from the Dark Magic´s representation, but from the Ministry as well."

Ludicrous, in my opinion. "Nowadays its so difficult to distinguish one from the other..."

My muttered comment was not appreciated by the headmaster, who shot me a sharp look. "So, child," he addressed Hermione, "as I´m sure you can deduct-"

Hermione interrupted him with a gasp of realization. "They´d stop our work immediately, wouldn´t they? And you´d be in a world of trouble. I was distracted when came here...I thought we were just..."

As lovely as this delayed moment of learning was, I felt compelled to continue my questioning. "So you send us to Wyoming?" He´d gone completely barmy.

"You suggested it, yourselves." Albus twinkled.

"Fine," I agreed, assuming Albus had some real reason. "How long?"

"Oh, I´ll send word..." Master of vacuities, our headmaster...

"And what are we doing during our lovely vacation?" I felt sarcasm was a key ingredient in most statements, its similar to flour when baking. Not to imply that I bake.

"Just relax...catch up on your reading..." Albus spoke in a dwindling sort of way.

"Our money?"

"Oh, Severus, we all know you have sufficient funds."

"We do?" repeated the uncharacteristically quiet Hermione.

I scoffed but agreed; once more suffering with all blame owed to my complete faith in the being of insanity that is Albus Dumbledoor. "So...what are our American-magic free identities?"

Albus twinkled again, like a bloody star. "Now that, my children, is the fun part."