Confessions

Chapter One

"Mom, I really don't want to go to this," Aislynn said with defiance in her voice.

"Aislynn, really now, I need you to be with me. I haven't seen these people in several years. I need you by my side. Please?" her mother asked with a pleading voice and puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, but you owe me mom. Who are these people anyway?"

"This is my class reunion Aislynn. These are the people that I graduated with, and I am really nervous."

"Why?"

"Oh it's nothing. Don't worry about it," Hermione stated as she finished driving to the train station in London. They walked for a while not speaking, weaving in and out of the crowds of people.

"Mom?" Aislynn asked almost scared to break the silence.

"Yes Aislynn"

"Why don't you talk about these people? Don't you miss your friends from here?"

Hermione looked pensive as she stopped and turned to her daughter, "Of course I miss them," she sighed, "It is a long story and one that I don't want to get into right now. I'm sorry dear. Someday . . . someday I will tell you."

Aislynn didn't know if she should pursue it further or let it be, but the look on her mother's face told her enough. Let it be. She watched her mother's determined face wishing that when she was older she would be just like her. Hermione was sharp, clever, kind, basically an amazing woman. She was beautiful. Her skin the color of pure linen, her hair wavy and the color of caramel, but the thing that was most striking were her eyes. They were brown, but not just brown, they were the color of copper and sparkled with happiness. She always wished that she looked as beautiful as Hermione did. Her mother always laughed at her. "Aislynn," she would say, "You are beautiful". Her mom was right she supposed. She wasn't plain or ugly. She just felt as if she looked well like nothing. She was a bit shorter than her mother reaching a measly 5'1", but she carried herself well. She was thin, but not to thin with bright blue eyes and golden brown with light red highlights. That was the one thing that she thought was just like her mother's. Her hair. It was long falling gently down her back and stopping just before her waist, and it was curly. Very curly. But she loved it, when it behaved. She looked into her mother's eyes hoping to see the warm glow that seemed to radiate from them. Well, most of the time, right now they showed trepidation and concern. Suddenly Hermione stopped.

"This is it Aislynn."

"Mom, I'm sorry to inform you, but this is just a wall. Nothing more. A brick wall."

"Aislynn, must you always doubt me. This is the entrance to Platform 9 ¾ straight to the Hogwarts Express."

"How?" Aislynn asked looking at her mother with a puzzled expression.

"Just hold my hand and walk towards the wall and you will see," Hermione said with a slight smile on her face looking straight at her daughtr.

"If I break my nose...."

"Trust me," with that Hermione grabbed Aislynn's hand and pulled her along with her. Aislynn was scared out of her mind. They were getting closer and closer and her mother was not stopping. She closed her eyes thinking that they were going to be in a load of pain when suddenly she heard the sound of a train whistle. Slowly she opened her eyes and was amazed at what she saw. There in front of her was a beautiful red and black train that read "Hogwarts Express" in giant gold letters.

"Wow!" Aislynn said breathlessly.

"Do you believe me now?" Hermione said with a smile.

"I'm sorry that I ever doubted you mom," she said with a hint of amazement in her voice.

"Let's get on the train. Find us a cabin and I will be right there."

"Okay mom," Aislynn said as she headed for the entrance to the train. She just couldn't believe her eyes, "This is amazing!"

"Wicked huh?" a voice said from behind her. Aislynn turned around to see who had spoken to her and was welcomed with a bright smile.

"It's fabulous!" she said smiling at the man.

"I felt the same the first time that I saw it. It still makes me smile whenever I do. By the way, my name is Ron. Pleasure to meet you," he smiled at her again. To be young again he thought as he looked at the wonderment in her eyes.

"I am Aislynn. Nice to meet you too," he seemed very nice she thought.

"Would you like me to show you the train? You seem to be a bit lost."

"Oh, no not lost, but I would like it if you would show me around. I'm waiting on my mother. She said she would meet me on the train."

"I'd be happy to. Come on," he said as he walked onto the train and lead her to a cabin near the back of a car, "These are the best seats. A lot of fine memories here," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice, "Met my best friends here several years ago. Way before you were born I'm sure," he said the smile returning to his face, "So, who are you here with?"

"My mother. She seems kind of nervous about being here though. Although I am not quite sure why."

"It is hard to come back and see all the people you once knew all together again. Brings back old memories. Some of them good. Others, well others you would rather forget and move on," Ron said.

"May I join you? Every other cabin is full," a voice said in the doorway. Aislynn looked up and saw a man standing in the doorway with a small smile.

"Hello Harry. It has been a long time," Ron said quietly standing to move over.

"Almost 17 years. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. And you?"

"I'm fine. Let's stop the small talk Ron. I've missed you," Harry took a step into the cabin and walked to Ron, "I'm sorry we haven't talked."

"You forgive me then?"

"Forgive and forget," Harry said with a smile grabbing Ron in a giant hug. It was only then that he noticed that there was someone else there with them, "Hello there! Sorry I didn't see you there. My name is Harry," he stuck out his hand to her smiled.

Aislynn grabbed it and smiled back at him. "Pleasure, my name is Aislynn."

"Nice to meet you Aislynn," Harry said shaking her hand sitting down on the seat next to Aislynn.

"So where are you from?" Ron asked.

"New York City. I go to a witchcraft school there. It's okay, but it is an all girls school, so that kinda stinks. My mom grew up here in England though. It certainly is beautiful here."

"Definitely is," Harry said, "It is a big change from New York though isn't it."

"The people here are unquestionably more friendly," Aislynn replied with a small smile.

Hermione had been searching for her daughter everywhere on the train when she finally heard her voice. She was laughing. It had been a long time since she had heard her daughter laugh and truly mean it. She smiled to herself and stepped into the doorway of the cabin.

"There you are Aislynn!" Hermione said, her smile slowly fading as she realized who she was in the cabin with.

"Hi mom!" Aislynn said still giggling. She looked around and noticed that no one else was laughing. They were all staring at her. Hermione with a look of utter dread upon her face. Ron and Harry looking as if she were an alien.

"What? Why is everyone staring at me?"

"Nothing. Come on Aislynn," Hermione said sticking her hand out. She couldn't bear to look at either Harry or Ron. Her chest tightened with every breath that she took. She couldn't believe the pain that was building up.

"Come on in mom. These guys are great. You should really talk to them."

"I know them Aislynn."

"Really? That's great. Come in and join us!"

"Aislynn, really this isn't the right time for this," Hermione said her voice breaking on her.

"You have a daughter Hermione?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes."

"How old are you Aislynn," Ron asked her softly

"I . . . I am 16," she said her voice shaking slightly, "Why are they all staring at me?" Aislynn said to herself. Slowly Aislynn looked into her mother's eyes saw Hermione on the verge of tears.

"Aislynn! Come on now!" Hermione said her voice breaking.

Aislynn quickly stood up feeling slightly embarrassed. Ron stood up beside her a sad smile on his face. "It was a pleasure to meet you Ron and you too Harry," she said shaking both of their hands. She turned and followed her mother out of the cabin. Hermione led her down the aisle looking for another cabin when the happened to find one 5 cabins down from Harry and Ron.

"I'm sorry I did that Aislynn," Hermione stated regaining some of her composure.

"Mom? What's wrong? Were they mean to you at school? Did they hurt you? Why are you so upset?" Aislynn asked her mother quietly.

Hermione looked up into her daughter's bright blue eyes and saw the pain and concern reflected back to her. "No, none of that dear," Hermione sighed, "I suppose I should tell you now. You are old enough to know."

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Back in the other cabin

Harry and Ron sat in a stunned silence. Neither of them moving or even wanting to speak. They knew what had to have happened. Neither one wanted to remember.

"She's sixteen Harry. Bloody sixteen!" Ron said with anger. Harry knew what Ron was leading to.

"Ron, you don't know that she is yours," Harry said with a slight strain in his voice.

"Wha . . .You're right Harry. I . . ." Ron looked at the man sitting across from him and truly missed him as a friend, "What have I done?" Ron said to himself.

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Back to Hermione and Aislynn

"What's going on mom? Really! I mean I have never seen you this upset!" asked Aislynn.

Hermione sighed, "Okay. You want to know I will tell you," she said looking down at the floor, "Everything starts about 23 years ago when I met Ron and Harry. We all were first years at Hogwarts. We were the best of friends. Everything was great, until 7^th year. Harry and I had been dating for about three years..."

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Flashback to Hogwarts

Harry, Ron, and Hermione's 7^th year

There was a knock on the door leading to Hermione's room. She had been named Head Girl and now had her own dorm. She was sitting on her bed cross-legged reading a book when the door opened.

"Can I come in?" a voice asked through the small opening.

"Harry! I didn't hear you! Come in!" Hermione jumped from the bed and ran over to where Harry was standing, "I missed you so much!" she said hugging him. Harry wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly on the mouth.

"I missed you Hermione. I love you," He whispered in her ear.

"I love you too! I am so glad you are back! We can finally prepare for the Yule Ball! What color do you think we should wear?" Hermione walked over to her closet to look at her robes. The Yule Ball was only a week away and they hadn't even seen each other in a month, "Harry? Are you listening to me?" Hermione asked turning to look at Harry. She stopped suddenly her heart aching with the look on his face, "Harry what's wrong?"

"Hermione. We didn't beat him. Yet. Hermione he got away. I have to go back and I know how to defeat him. I'm leaving in an hour," Harry said his voice cracking as he spoke.

"You have to leave? But . . ." Hermione sighed, "But you know how to defeat him. Still that's great!" Hermione's smiled faded slowly as Harry's look became more dismal, "What is it Harry? You are going to finally defeat Voldemort and you aren't happy?" Harry walked over to where she was standing and took her hands into his.

"Hermione. I may not make it back alive. I have to sacrifice myself to save everyone else. I am scared that this is the last time that I will ever look into your deep brown eyes. The last time I will ever feel your hand in mine," Harry kissed her knuckles, "I'm afraid that this may be the last time that I ever kiss your lips," he leaned forward softly kissing her, "I don't want to leave you but I have to," Hermione was crying softly as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"Harry don't leave me! Please!" she pleaded with him tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I have to Hermione. I don't want to, but I have to," Harry leaned forward and kissed the tears off her cheeks. Slowly his lips moved to her eyes down her nose until they ended on her soft lips. Hermione moaned softly as he continued down her neck.

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Back to the Hogwarts Express

Hermione and Aislynn's cabin

"Harry and I made love for the first and last time that night," Hermione said looking up from the floor into her daughter's face. Aislynn was crying, "I was devastated when he left. We didn't hear anything until a week later regarding him."

"Did he come home?" Aislynn asked softly.

"Not right then. We were all told that Harry had defeated Voldemort but had died in the process. From what we were told, Harry fought courageously yet he had succumbed to wounds received during the battle. I was devastated. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't eat or sleep. The Yule Ball was cancelled for his memorial. Ron and I were the only two left of the trio, so we naturally turned to each other for support," Hermione slowly breathed out, "Aislynn, I knew it would take me years to get over Harry. Ron was the only one there for me. We grieved together, we laughed together, and he filled a void for me. We ended up sleeping together in a moment of weakness. We needed each other desperately. I had never felt so guilty in my life. I didn't love him. Not that way. I loved Harry," Hermione stopped to wipe away a tear from Aislynn's face.

"What happened mom?"

"Harry came home the next day. I couldn't live with myself. I was ecstatic because he was home, yet I was devastated that I had given myself to another man."

"But you had no way of knowing that he was going to come home!" Aislynn exclaimed.

"You're right, Aislynn, but that didn't change the fact that my heart felt as if I had cheated on my soul. Harry was my soul mate. Will forever be my soul mate and I threw it away."

"How did he find out about you and Ron?"

Hermione sighed and said, "Ron told him. They confronted me about which one I wanted. It forced us all apart. We never spoke again. They hated me, hated each other, and I was extremely hurt by both of them. We graduated from Hogwarts and went our separate ways."

"Is that when you met my dad?" Aislynn asked.

"You see Aislynn. When I left Hogwarts, I was 4 months pregnant," Hermione looked at her daughter trying to measure her reaction. Aislynn met her mother's eyes and glanced away, "Aislynn, I should have told you this before but your father is Ron."

"What!?" Aislynn exclaimed, "You told me that my dad died before I was born!"

"I'm so sorry Aislynn!" Hermione said reaching for her daughter's hands.

"Don't touch me!" Aislynn yelled pulling away, "I can't believe you lied to me mother and about something that important. All my life I have spent dreading things like father's day. When every other kid in my class was making gifts for their dads I was doodling trying to hold the tears back so that I wouldn't be embarrassed. I never had a dad to take me to the father/daughter days. What for?!? Some sick, self-absorbed reason. You couldn't handle the fact that you had made a mistake. You were pulled down into despair and did something that you thought would make you feel better and made a damn mistake!" Aislynn felt the tears slide down her cheeks.

"Aislynn! No! You are not a mistake! I love you dearly, and won't change having had you for the world. I need you! You are all that I have Aislynn," Hermione cried, "I have nothing without you, Aislynn. I love you."

"Mom, I love you too, but I just . . ." Aislynn sighed, "I just need some time to myself. I'll be back later," Aislynn turned and walked out the door.

"Why do I have to go through all of this again?" Hermione said out loud looking up at the ceiling.

"Can we come in?" a voice asked softly from the doorway. Hermione looked up to see Ron and Harry standing in the entrance to the cabin.

"Sure," Hermione stated sitting up straight. Ron looked good she thought. The past 16 years had been kind to him. He had grown very tall probably hitting about 6'5" and filled out nicely. She knew that he had been playing professional Quidditch but that was about all she had heard. Then there was Harry. Her heart felt as if it would burst. He was tall. Not near as tall as Ron, but he had sprouted up a bit nearing 6'. Harry had become successful in his own right. He was now Chancellor of the Ministry of Magic. She hadn't heard much more about him then again, she hadn't wanted to.

"He is gorgeous," she thought to herself, "I have missed him more than anyone could ever imagine," Hermione looked up at Harry and looked into his bright green eyes. All Harry did was look away.

"We need to talk Hermione," Ron said looking down at her. She could tell that he knew just by the look in his eyes. He looked hurt. Hermione glanced away only to catch a glitter of light off his left hand.

"You're married! Congratulations Ron!" without thinking Hermione got up and hugged Ron, "Who is she?"

"Umm...thank you! She is a Muggle. Her name is Felicity."

"Congrats man!" Harry exclaimed slapping Ron on the back.

"Thanks!" Ron said with a smile. If a person were to walk by the doorway at that moment, it seemed as if the trio was back together, "We still need to talk Hermione"

"I know. I suppose I should tell you about Aislynn," Hermione sighed, "Aislynn is your daughter Ron," Hermione saw Ron open his mouth to talk and cut him off, "Before you say anything, I know that I should have told you about her. I know that I should have told her about you. I am so sorry. I just was confused and scared when I found out. I knew that I had betrayed Harry, and I couldn't marry you or be with you Ron. So I ran away," Hermione looked up into Harry's eyes, "I'm sorry"

"Where is she Hermione?" Ron asked quietly.

"I don't know. She walked out on me. What have I done?" Hermione laid her head in her hands and began to cry.

"Ron, you go find Aislynn I will stay here with Hermione," Harry said walking over to Hermione and laying a hand on her shoulder, "Hermione?" Harry asked gently sitting down next to her.

"Oh Harry! You have no idea how horrible I feel. I should have faced my demons and stood up to what had happened. You will never know how badly I feel. I am so sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you 'Mione. I forgave you a long, long time ago."

"I never thought that you would call me that again," Hermione cried.

"Per non preoccupare Hermione. Ti amo e li amerò ora e fino a eternity," Harry whispered into her ear.

"What does that mean? And when did you learn another language?"

"Basically that I have never stopped loving you. You mean the world to me Hermione and always have," Harry stood up and began to pace the cabin, "I have dated several other women, I mean honestly I am 34 years old, yet I have never met anyone else who made me feel the way that you do. Hermione I need you," Hermione looked deeply into his eyes and knew that he was telling her the truth. Slowly Harry bent over and kissed her sweetly on the lips just as the train began to creep to a stop, "Come on 'Mione. Let's go find your daughter and Ron," Harry grabbed her hand and led her from the cabin.

"You still didn't tell me how you learned to speak Italian."

"Well, I have to travel for the Ministry, it makes things easier."

"Show off," Hermione giggled as he led her from the cabin.

To be continued...