Conflicting Emotions

Chapter One - Introductions and Whispers

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In retrospect, it seems like everything started on that day, about two weeks until the semester started, when the Hogwarts students received their letters and booklists for the upcoming year. On that day, Hermione, who had been staying at the Burrow for the last two weeks of the summer holidays prior to their seventh year, opened her own annual letter. She was sitting in her makeshift room, which she shared with Ginny, currently seated cross-legged on the end of her bed, dressed in modest muggle clothing. She had brought her mail up here, to open later, expecting nothing unusual. But this year, among the expected pieces of parchment, there was a badge, that fell out upon her lap as she unrolled the parchment. As she picked the decent-sized metal badge in her hand, examining it, she discovered that upon it, there was the letters 'HG', superimposed on the Hogwarts crest. Her breath catching in delight, but not yet sure if it really was what she thought it was, she quickly rifled through the pieces of parchment, and came up with the letter.

Dear Miss Granger,

    We would like to congratulate you on your selection as Head Girl for your seventh year. We trust you will uphold the school rules and morals with the dignity that the position expects. You will have your own common room, shared with the Head Boy, and individual bedrooms. We also expect that you will use this privilege wisely.

    Please note that the new school year will begin on September the first. The Hogwarts Express will leave from King's Cross Station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o'clock. You will be required to meet with myself, the Head Boy and the prefects for the upcoming year at the beginning of the journey, in the cabin at the front of the train. We look forward to seeing you there.

    A list of books for next year is enclosed.

    Yours sincerely,

    Professor M. McGonagall

    Deputy Headmistress

Her eyes flickered back and forth across it, as it confirmed what she already knew. Head Girl! With a wide grin, she hopped off the bed, and raced down the stairs, to seek out Ron and Harry. Spotting Ron at the kitchen table, having opened his own letter, she squealed with delight, and raced over to him, barely refraining from throwing her arms around him.

"Look, Ron! I'm Head Girl!" she exclaimed, holding out the badge.

Ron stared at her, before smiling. "Congrats, Hermione. Well done!" He didn't seem quite as enthusiastic as she was, although the reason was apparent, soon enough, as she glanced at his already-read letter. A letter which did not have a badge enclosed.

"I'm sorry, Ron," Hermione said, her excitement dimmed for a moment, reaching out to take his hand. But that was when Harry came down the stairs, too, and she turned to him. But as she opened her mouth to ask, Harry shook his head.

"You didn't?" The newly-appointed Head Girl asked, surprised that he knew what she was going to ask already.

"Nope, not me either," he shrugged, but Hermione could see he was fighting a little jealousy, too. "I could hear you telling Ron. Head Girl! I knew you'd get it."

Hermione seemed a little disappointed by this news, letting out her breath with a sad sigh. However, Ron brightened considerably, squeezing Hermione's hand slightly, then abruptly went a little red, embarrassed at revealing such a private emotion. As Hermione glanced over to Harry, she saw him clench his jaw imperceptibly, but otherwise ignore the reaction.

"Oh. Who do you reckon'll get Head Boy, then?" Hermione asked, trying to change the subject to something which would be more positive for both Harry and Ron, although she didn't divert it very well, essentially remaining on the same topic as her curiosity quickly overcame the minor disappointment for each of her friends.

"As long as it's anybody but Malfoy, I don't mind," Ron scowled, as he thought about it. "Wait, maybe I do mind. Couldn't be-"

Harry shrugged again, considering for a moment, before cutting Ron off mid-sentence. "Ernie Macmillan, maybe?" he suggested mildly. "He seems the type."

Ron screwed up his nose for a moment, before nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I think it might be him."

The three lapsed into silence, each on their own tangent of thought. After a few moments, Ginny came in from outside, and before she could say anything, she spotted Hermione's Head Girl badge, and picked it up with a squeal of delight. "Oh, wow, Hermione! Head girl! Congrats."

Just that moment, Molly Weasley, who coming from the other side of the house, heard Ginny's exclamation, and hurried over to congratulate the girl. Hermione and Ron's hands separated. Before long, Hermione was showered with hugs and praise from the Weasley family, the centre of attention. Harry just snuck off quietly, glad that it wasn't him, for once, but Ron remained around, growing grumpier by the minute. But Hermione couldn't help what she was given, titles and all, but the Weasley family ought to know better, right?

It was only several days later that Hermione noted, with a smile, that the 'HG' on the badge not only were the initials for her new position, but for her name, too. Hermione Granger. HG. Head Girl. Coincidence, perhaps?

It was the first of September, and they were all excited about the new term starting, although some moreso than the others. Everyone except Ron was awake early, and he was badgered out of bed soon enough. Breakfast was a noisy affair, but nobody was especially hungry. Eventually, Molly impatiently ushered them out the door, tired of the pent-up energy they all shared. She came across as irritable, and told them all she'd be glad when they were all were out of her hair. But they all knew she was just kidding.

It was ten-thirty when the Weasley family, plus Harry and Hermione, passed through the barrier between platforms nine and ten at King's Cross. They had made special effort to be early this year, after nearly missing the train last year. For once, they weren't running late, as it was, so Mrs. Weasley managed to give them all more than just a brief rib-cracking hug before she shooed them off onto the train. Mr. Weasley, who had come with them, stood with a smile on his face.

"Have a good year!" Molly called after them, as they finally got onto the train. There was a broad smile on her face, but no sooner had they stepped onto the train, Harry was most surprised to see her turn and sob into Mr. Weasley's shoulder. He put an arm across her shoulder, consoling her, as they waved the children off.

The four made their way to an empty cabin, picking a nice one about halfway along the train. Harry and Ron sat down after stuffing their bags into the luggage racks, chatting animatedly. Ginny excused herself, going to find her own friends to sit with. And Hermione waved to the two boys as she hurried up to the front of the train for the prefect meeting.

She was not the first one there, as she thought she might be. Professor McGonagall was there, of course, looking stern but waiting fairly patiently. There was also a timid-looking fifth year girl from Hufflepuff, sitting down in the middle of the cabin. As Hermione stepped in, McGonagall smiled, and said, "Welcome, Miss Granger."

On the heels of Hermione, the remainder began to trickle in. There was a pale girl from Ravenclaw, and a tall boy with brown hair from Gryffindor. The Slytherin girl, who looked almost pleasant, then the boys from both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff stepped in. The girl watched them all with an amiable smile, awaiting the one from her own year - who would be the Head Boy. More arrived, and Hermione was most surprised when a dark-haired Italian boy, who looked only vaguely familiar, stepped in. McGonagall smiled again, and stepped forward into the center of the over-large cabin as a few stragglers slipped in.

"At last. Welcome, Mr. Zabini. Now that you're here," she paused, and glanced around to count the younger students, nodding as they were all present, "we can begin."

Hermione watched him for a moment, and the way he stood there, apparently unconcerned with what was going on. Zabini. That's right, she thought, remembering. Blaise Zabini. He was a Slytherin. She didn't know anything about the boy, but already her heart sunk. Oh, great. Just what she needed. A selfish, purist Slytherin who would undoubtedly do absolutely nothing to help enforce rules and such, even if she ignored all the bloody insults he'd undoubtedly fling at her. She had to wonder what made whoever picked the Head Boy and Girl put those two together. It couldn't be a positive outcome. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin. A pureblood and a muggleborn. Not a good match.

"Prefects, I'd like to introduce you to our head girl and boy for this year, Hermione Granger and Blaise Zabini." Hermione waved and smiled at the prefects as her name was mentioned. Zabini simply nodded. "Now, this year's prefects... from Ravenclaw, we have-"

Hermione listened to the names a little absently, still curious about Zabini. She glanced over at him once more, studying his strong, Mediterranean features. However, this time he caught her looking, and smoothly returned her gaze, raising an eyebrow. Hermione flushed lightly, and turned away. Oh, damn it, she thought. Now he probably thought she was... checking him out or something crude like that. Scowling at even her thoughts, her attention and thoughts snapped back to watching the introductions of the prefects, nodding as each name was mentioned. For the rest of the introductions and briefing, she steadfastly ignored the Head Boy.

When Hermione finally returned to the cabin that Harry, Ron and Neville now inhabited, Ron was grinning. "Hermione! Welcome back. Well, who's Head Boy?" he asked brightly.

Hermione peered at him - barely a week ago, the subject alone was apt to make him frown or go silent. Now, what was this sudden cheerfulness about?

"Don't worry about him. At least, we know it's not Malfoy, thank goodness," Neville added with a little mysterious smile.

"Oh?" Hermione raise an eyebrow at the three, and their unnatural moods, before she suddenly realized that was the exact expression Zabini used on her, and she swiftly twisted her expression back to a normal frown.

Ron peered back at her, a little concerned, now, but answered nonetheless, his expression soon back to a grin. "Malfoy walked by here earlier and seemed pleased that neither me or Harry were Head Boy. Wasn't too happy to hear about you, o' course, but that's just his tough luck!" Ron grinned ever the wider, and Hermione suspected that wasn't all that happened. But Ron was repeating his question. "Anyway, who's got Head Boy?"

"Zabini." Hermione said, sitting down with a sigh. "Blaise Zabini. He's a Slytherin."

"You're kidding. That's almost as bad as having Malfoy as Head Boy!" Harry said angrily. "Surely Dumbledore... or whoever picks them would have the sense-"

"Harry." Hermione said, in what she hoped was a soothing tone. Already, for some inexplicable reason, her nerves seemed a bit frayed. "I'm sure Dumbledore had his reasons. We don't know anything about him, either, he could be decent."

"Decent? A Slytherin? Hah," Ron laughed. "Fat chance, Hermione. Just you wait - the house point losses might just manage to top what happened in fifth year."

Hermione shrugged, but she tended to agree with Ron, and her attempt at defending Zabini was a half-hearted effort - more a matter of principle than anything else.

The rest of the train journey was spent munching on the snacks that Harry had bought early on in the trip, and talking about a few unimportant things, like the most recent Quidditch season. Although that particular topic, was, to Ron at least, very important. Hermione sighed, and soon found herself staring absently out the window at the swiftly passing landscape. And without realizing it, her thoughts drifted back to Zabini. And that smooth, bemused expression of his, as he turned to her and raised his eyebrow. She didn't know what it was, but something made her curious. Maybe it was the sparkle of the boy's dark blue eyes, shining with self-confidence, but nothing like the overbearing cockiness of Malfoy. He hadn't sneered at her, or anything. Or maybe it was the way his dark curls framed his face...

"What's up, Hermione?" Ron's voice broke her out of her reverie, and she shook her head, getting rid of the unwanted thoughts.

"Oh, nothing. Just a bit tired, maybe," she said, and Ron put an arm over her shoulder. She smiled, and leaned in closer, resting her head on his shoulder.

Last year, the two had admitted they cared something for each other, but their current arrangement was an unusual one. Neither was very sure if what they felt was more than a brother-sister-type love, but weren't exactly sure how to progress. Instead, they hugged each other frequently, as well as sharing kisses on the cheek and occasionally on the lips. Ron and Hermione would often go around, arm around a waist or over a pair of shoulders. They would sit together on a couch or blanket and talk to each other for hours, simply enjoying each other's company. There was all of this - and yet nothing more. They gave the impression of being a very close couple, but in private, scarcely more happened between them. Ron was pleased with this, yet wanted to go further. Hermione was more hesitant. She didn't want to ruin this companionship with him, should things go wrong. She valued him dearly as a friend, nearly a brother, even closer to her than Harry. But she wasn't sure if he was - or she wanted him to be anything more. It would take Ron time, at the very least, to melt her instinctive barriers. For the time being, however, he was doing well, and they hadn't argued over something serious in at least several months.

Hermione smiled as she reflected on her relationship between herself and Ron, feeling quite content as the long, red train chugged along the Scottish countryside.

After the start of term feast, Hermione walked with Ron and Harry as they made their way up the stairs. Ron was trying to explain to Harry how impressive real wizard duels were. "It's really amazing, Harry, the types of spells you've never seen before. Nothing like the duels they have here at Hogwarts..."

Harry was nodding a little absently. As they made to climb the staircase to the second floor, Hermione stopped. After climbing a few steps more, they both turned to look at her. Well, at least, Harry did, having to tug on Ron's arm to get him to notice.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, not exactly sure how to phrase the question that formed in his mind. Was something wrong? Why was she stopping?

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys," Hermione said with a faint blush. "The Head Boy and Girl have their own common room and bedrooms, on the first floor."

The series of emotions that passed Ron's face were easily readable. First there was a frown - he wasn't happy that Hermione wouldn't be spending as much time up in the Gryffindor Commons. It would probably mean they saw less of each other. Then, there was a look of dawning realization, and a grin. Hermione presumed that was for the private room she now had. And then, lastly, another scowl took over his face, one that Hermione couldn't read, but that was the one he voiced.

"You have to share a room with Zabini!?" he seemed mixed between jealousy that Zabini would be sharing with Hermione, and not Ron, and outrage that Hermione would have to spend more time near that git than he expected.

Hermione nodded, then shrugged. "Well, we each get our own bedroom, it's just the commons we'll have to share."

"But Hermione, that git- you- I mean, what if-" he seemed unable to express his thoughts, even as he turned a bright shade of crimson.

She glared at him. "Do you think I'm unable to look after myself?"

"No, not at all. It's just- he's a Slytherin!" Ron countered, as if that explained everything.

"So?" Hermione glared back at him. "He might be a decent guy. You never give anybody a chance, do you?"

"What? I never said that! I mean, that he couldn't... er, be a decent guy." Ron had a hard time saying it, but once he had he continued his argument with a snarl. "It's just that-"

Harry had just been watching the two in surprise, but as the argument escalated, he spoke up, interrupting Ron. "Well, we all have to go sort out our things, so we should be going now. We'll see you around, Hermione." He smiled at her, before grabbing Ron by the arm and tugging him up the stairs. The redhead stared at him, flabbergasted, but after a few steps he stomped up them himself, muttering 'Fine. Whatever. See if I care.'

Hermione flashed Harry a grateful smile, ignoring Ron's muttering. She wasn't up to arguing with Ron right now. "Alright, see you," she said, and with that, she turned and continued along the first floor, beside the staircase. At the back of the hall, a finely-wrought door with the letters 'HC' engraved on it in looping, embellished letters. Heads' Commons. Hermione smiled, and opened the door, then stepped inside the room.

The common room was small, as far as common rooms go, but seeing as it only had to accommodate two people, there was plenty of room. On the far side of the room, three large windows afforded a fine view out into the grounds of Hogwarts, currently bright, and bathed in sunlight. A couple comfortable chairs sat perched beneath or beside these windows, should one wish to stare out them for a long period of time. On the left wall was the fireplace, the rug and chairs surrounding it taking up most of the room's space. However, directly to her right, in the corner, was a square, wooden table, overly large for the two chairs seated around it, obviously suited for spreading a great deal of books out. A few extra chairs were placed in the corner to her left, should they be required. The doors to their individual bedrooms were on the other side of the room, facing each other from the end of opposite walls. As Hermione stepped in, she saw they were both featuring the same style of flowing letters that graced the door entering the commons. The one on her left - 'HG'. The other, on her right, 'HB'. With a smile, quite happy at having these accommodations for herself and Zabini, she pushed open the door to the Head Girl's room.

Her bags were already there, at the foot of the bed. The room was simple, decorated nicely. She smiled, and flopped down on the bed. It was comfortably soft. She had this to herself, for the whole year! Brilliant. Her mood had taken a turn for the better ever since she had left Ron and Harry heading up to the Gryffindor Commons. With a smile, she got up again, and pulled a few things out of her bags that she wanted to place around the common room. Her books could go on that table, or next to it, and she had a couple items she'd place on the fireplace hearth.

As she pushed open her door and stepped into the commons again, she noticed that Zabini was already there, peering around the room with a critical eye, then nodding. Hermione didn't say anything to him, and he didn't say anything back as she deposited her large stack of textbooks on the table, then heading to the hearth to add a few trinkets. Then, when she was done, she dusted her hands off on her robes, and glanced back at Zabini. Who was this mysterious Slytherin? She didn't recall that she'd ever heard him talk, either. And despite herself, she was fascinated. She had been staring at him overlong, when Zabini turned, and caught her in the act - again. A smirk crossed his face, even as Hermione turned away to busy herself with some other minor task, like straightening one of her trinkets on the hearth. That smirk was starkly reminiscent of Malfoy's characteristic expression, and anyone who was anything like Malfoy... her hands tightened in anger, but that was when Zabini spoke.

"You know, I'd think a witch like you would have better things to do than stare at a wizard like me, Granger."

Hermione froze. That was not the sort of comment she was expecting. Not to mention the way the words, with his hint of an accent, seemed to flow smoothly off his tongue. But the actual words themselves. They were not- they even, if it was possible, hid a hint of a compliment. It seemed to imply that she wasn't inferior to him, as most Slytherins would have been of the opinion. But even as she turned to say something back, or even just stare at him again in surprise - she wasn't sure which, he smiled lightly, without saying anything else, swept off into his room. Hermione stared for a moment more, suddenly even more intrigued by this Slytherin... a Slytherin who wasn't at all what she had expected. Suddenly, she felt bad about judging him so soon, knowing nothing about him, and deciding that she didn't want to spend more time in here, right now, she hurried out, and up to the Gryffindor Common Room to meet up with Ron and Harry.

Hermione sat in her Arithmancy class, barely listening to Professor Vector's words. The Professor was just going over what they went over last year, and expressing the importance of hard work in their final year.

"I expect you all to do well in your NEWTs. All of you are capable of passing well, but it will require a lot hard work and application. Do not expect to do nothing and be able to do well."

As had been protocol for the last three years, every single teacher had explained to their classes how significant their particular subject was, and that they were expected to do brilliantly. What had Hermione's attention, however, was the person sitting in the row of desks behind her, one seat to the left, paired with Theodore Nott. Zabini. She wondered how it was possible that he was in so many of her classes, and had been for several years, and she had barely known his name when she discovered he was Head Boy. It made little sense, especially because she was so conscious of exactly where he was, what he was doing.

Finally, the bell rung, and the students packed up their books and left the classroom to head to the great hall for lunch, after Vector told them they were to hand in a two-foot long essay on Arithmancy in daily life. Hermione headed first to her commons, to deposit her books, already thinking about how she would tackle the essay.

Settling down at the Gryffindor table shortly afterwards, she found herself next to Ginny. The younger girl had become a fast friend in the last year or so. While it was great to have guy friends, sometimes you just needed to take a break from them, and spend some quality girl time. Ginny, not really having that close of friends in her own year, had gravitated towards the older girl. In addition, Ginny was smart enough in her own right to not need much help, if any, from Hermione on her homework, something that Hermione found she was thankful for, at times. Especially when Ron and Harry continually needed their essays checked.

"Hey, Hermione," Ginny said with a smile, picking up a bowl and handing it to the other girl. "You have to try some of these, they're really nice."

Hermione accepted the bowl with a smile, serving a few things onto her plate before drifting off into a thoughtful silence as she ate. Occasionally, her eyes flickered over to the Slytherin table, noting where Zabini sat. He was laughing with Nott, who she had gathered by now was his best friend. He looked quite different, enjoying himself over there. Nothing like the serious, quiet boy he was whenever he was around Hermione, it seemed. After a few moments, she caught Ginny looking at her.

"What?" Hermione said, sitting up straighter and pretending to dig into her food again.

"Come on, Hermione. Nobody could have missed you staring at the Slytherin table, over there." Ginny said with a grin. At her words, Hermione glanced around, concerned that someone else noticed. With a laugh, Ginny shook her head. Hermione let out a sigh of relief.

"So?" Ginny pressed, smiling.

"So what?"

"There's something going on between you and Zabini, isn't there?" Ginny concluded, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

"What? Of course there isn't." Hermione said indignantly, but unable to help blushing. As Ginny raised an eyebrow, Hermione shushed her with a wave of her hand. "Fine, whatever. I'll tell you about it later."

Ginny nodded, a strange smile on her face, but she was seemingly satisfied, and changed the subject to discuss a new wizarding band that she'd noticed.

The conversation at the table was fairly mild all meal, and the two left the hall together.

"To the Library? I've got an two-foot essay for Arithmancy to do." Hermione asked, and Ginny nodded.

"Yeah, I've got to do some stuff for Potions. I'll see you there in half an hour, say?" Hermione nodded back, and the two parted to their respective common rooms.

Exactly half an hour later, Ginny stepped into the Library, and hurried over to where Hermione sat, hunched over a piece of parchment, already nearly a foot long.

"Wow, you write fast." Ginny said, eyeing the essay.

"It's not very good. I think I might redo it..." Hermione said plaintively, sighing and folding it up. "I've run out of things to say for the moment. I need to go check a book. A moment..."

The seventh-year disappeared behind a shelf, and a few minutes later, returned with a heavy tome on Arithmancy. "This is the best book. It has nearly everything you need to know about Arithmancy in it. At least for here at Hogwarts. You ought to take a look at it sometime."

Ginny nodded, glancing at it apprehensively. Old books scared her, frankly. After her experience with Tom Riddle... she was very cautious around books, at least. She did, however, find Arithmancy very difficult - she struggled through it, and was thinking of giving it up. But Hermione helped her, and she managed to stay atop of her work, for the time being.

"So," Ginny said conversationally, although the very tone of her voice should have warned Hermione. But she missed the hint, and continued working. "Zabini, eh?"

Hermione gaped, surprised that the girl had remembered. She'd forgotten she'd told Ginny that she'd tell her, until now. With a sigh, she put down her quill, and glanced around. Nobody was anywhere near them, tucked away here.

"Well. Don't laugh or anything, okay?" Hermione warned. Ginny nodded. Of course not. "Well, I barely even noticed him before this year, until he was Head Boy. Since then I've been realizing he's in nearly all of my classes. But he just... intrigues me. He's quiet, but confident, unlike some Slytherins we know," she scowled, then continued. "Besides, first time I saw him I thought that he was going to be just another Malfoy, y'know. He's only spoken to me once, but that one time... he almost complimented me. Almost, it was kinda hidden. But he didn't insult me or anything like that - like I would have expected. I dunno, he just piques my curiosity, this Slytherin who isn't really anything like his housemates."

Ginny nodded at her for a few moments, before leaning over and whispering. "I've always thought he's quite handsome. No wonder you like him."

Hermione scowled at her. "I do /not/ like him! I'm just... intrigued, that's all," she finished lamely. Ginny eyed her, then nodded understandingly, which made Hermione even more frustrated. "Fine. Whatever, I'm going to back to my commons to study where people won't interrupt me with stupid ideas like /that/."

As she stomped off, Ginny - who was quite used to Hermione's spats, smirked lightly, before bending her head to get her Potions work underway.