Araminta Malfoy-Potter: Taking Hogwarts

XXI.

The next day, Araminta had to have Bollocksy help her wash her knee-length hair. She brushed it out one hundred strokes in front of the fire until it shone like gold lamé. Then, Bollocksy helped her twist it into a long braid with green and gold ribbons (to match her uniform) running through it.

"You is looking like a real woman today, miss," said Bollocksy.

"I feel like a real woman, Bollocksy!" Araminta stretched her arms out and spun around in a circle. "I just hope I can keep up with my new classes." Her new schedule was sort of scary--she had every single class offered at Hogwarts on her plate.

Bollocksy brushed a bit of lint off Araminta's new robes (which were much longer and fuller through the hips and chest to fit her new figure). "Don't worry. You is the smartest girl--woman--that Bollocksy knows. You'll be fine."

Araminta sighed. "I sure hope so. Well, here goes nothing!" She left to go to her first class, Song Magic.

When she went out into the hall, she bumped into Professor Vector, who looked very distracted. He was towing a strange girl Araminta had never seen before and he looked harassed. "You there, are you a seventh year? This girl is named Melannen, and she is a transfer from Hollywood School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I want you to show her around and make her feel welcome here. Don't worry about your classes; I'll tell your teachers to excuse you." He hurried off.

"Um, hi," said Araminta.

"Um, hi," said Melannen back with an American accent. Melannen was a little shorter than Araminta and she had big, cinnamon-chocolate-brown eyes and lots of brown, curly hair down to her shoulders with blue and purple streaks in it. She was wearing a collar with spikes and bracelets with spikes too. Underneath her too-tight robes she was wearing a pair of combat boots and she had on black eyeliner and lipstick. "Don't think that we're going to be good friends, okay? I'm here because I got kicked out of my last school for fighting. Watch your back."

Araminta stepped backward, then changed her mind and stepped forward again. "Well, I'm supposed to show you around, so let's go." She walked a little bit away but Melannen didn't come with her. "Aren't you coming?"

"Why should I follow some goody-two-shoes around?" Melannen lit a cigarette and blew smoke in Araminta's face, making her cough and wheeze.

Araminta politely waved away the first puff, but by the second puff she was angry. "Hey, that's secondhand smoke and it makes me feel bad. Could you put that out?"

"What?" taunted Melannen. "Do you really believe that you'll get cancer from smoking?"

Araminta snatched the cigarette away and threw it on the floor, then performed an X-ray Charm. "Take a look at your lungs. Do you see that black soot at the bottom? I don't know you at all, hardly, but I care about you. I don't want you to die. There's no way to get that smoke back out."

Melannen looked a little nauseous. (She made Araminta sick too. She knew that nauseous things made you sick, but nauseated was how you felt.) She stomped out her cigarette. "I didn't know I looked like that inside. Thanks." She smiled at Araminta.

"It was nothing." Araminta smiled. "So, what kind of music do you like?"

"Oh, I like Nine Inch Nails, Coldplay, N*Sync, the usual." She fingered her bracelet nervously. "Do you think you could show me around now?"

"I'd be happy to show my new friend around," said Araminta. They linked arms and jogged down the hall and out the front doors to look at the lake first.

**

XXII.

"Well, this is the lake," said Araminta. "That over there is the Quidditch pitch, and those trees over there are the Forbidden Forest. You shouldn't go in there. My dad says you'll get eaten by spiders." She failed to hide a shiver.

"Yeah, so what do you guys do for kicks around here?"

"Well, we watch Quidditch--"

"Yuck," said Melannen. "Give me Quodpot any day."

Araminta smiled politely. Perhaps Melannen didn't know it was rude to interrupt? "We also play Exploding Snap, Wizard Chess, and we go to Hogsmeade. It's Britain's only all-wizarding village. It's loads of fun." Araminta crossed her fingers behind her back. She couldn't tell Melannen that until yesterday she hadn't been old enough to go there!

"Okay. Cool. Let's go now."

Araminta looked around wildly. Go now? They couldn't go now. "Um, we're only allowed to go to Hogsmeade on Hogsmeade weekends. The first one probably won't be until October or so. We get to spend a Saturday shopping and going to the pub or the tearoom."

Melannen gave Araminta a dirty look. "Dude, all we've gotta do is hop the fence. No one will notice we're missing. We'll be back before dark," she wheedled.

Araminta shook in her shoes like a leaf in a tornado. She was seventeen today. She should feel like a grownup and be ready for these sorts of things. It seemed that she just couldn't say 'no' when she needed to the most. "I, um, can't. I have to go to class."

Melannen laughed so hard that she was hugging her sides, slapping her knee, and crying streams of tears all at the same time.

"What are you laughing at?" asked Araminta. "Are you laughing at me?"

"Y-y-y-y-y-yes," chuckled Melannen. "You are such a goody-two-shoes! I can't believe that you think school is important. You're a witch, too! Just make up a spell to put the learning right in your head. It's what I always do!"

This made Araminta stop and think for three minutes. All she had to do was say a spell and she'd never have to study again. It sounded wonderful, like an ice cream sundae on the first day that you feel like having hot fudge after you throw it up because you had the flu and then you don't feel like eating it for the next six months.

Araminta sighed. "I can't. That would be like cheating. It wouldn't be fair to have an advantage over the other kids at Hogwarts. They'd hate me for that, and I'd be even more bored than I am now."

Melannen pushed her hair back out of her face and wiped away her tears of laughter. "Well, have it your way then!" She grabbed the top of the Hogwarts fence and hauled herself over, barely missing the pointy things on the top of it.

"Oh no," gasped Araminta in shock. "Melannen, come back!" Oh, Dumbledore was going to be really, really angry with her. Professor Vector had trusted her to show the American exchange student around, and she'd made a big mess of it. She couldn't tattle on Melannen, but she couldn't jump the fence and go after her, either. "What to do?"

Araminta paced back and forth. She wished she could just use a Summoning Charm to bring Melannen back, but she wasn't sure Melannen would like that very much. If only she could start the whole thing over again, she'd be sure and strong and she wouldn't let Melannen walk all over her.

"Eureka!" Araminta hopped up and down and gave herself a little hug. She should have believed in herself from the beginning; she always thought of ways to get out of scrapes. "All I have to do is take the Time-Turner, and give it a little spin...Wooooooaaah!"

***

XXIII.

"Whoa! Stop, please, stooooop! I want to get off!" Araminta shouted as the world spun green and blue and black and purple spirals around her eyes. She turned green herself and her stomach ached and her ears rang. The Time-Turner had spun itself around a million times in its chain and even though she grabbed it tight in her hand it didn't stop the strange and awful events from happening all around her.

At last Araminta tumbled to the ground, breaking the Time-Turner. The breath was knocked out of her and she wheezed seven times before a good breath came and she got her breath back. "Whew, that was really scary," she said. "I'd better hurry and see if I can catch Melannen again. This time, I'll stand up for myself and I'll stand up for the rules of Hogwarts."

She sprinted up the steps to the school and almost knocked over Professor McGonagall. "Slow down, there, missy! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Wow, you look really young, Professor," Araminta blurted out.

"I...do? Yes, I do," the professor continued. "Where are you from, and why are you wearing that outlandish getup?"

"They're my Slythindor robes," answered Araminta uncertainly. "What else would I wear?"

Professor McGonagall's eyebrows shot up like wild, wriggling caterpillars. "I'm afraid I've never heard of Slythindor house. Is this some kind of practical joke, Miss..." She trailed off, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"My name is Araminta Malfoy-Potter," said Araminta Malfoy-Potter.

McGonagall gave a short bark of laughter and then clutched her hand to her chest. "Dear Merlin's beard, you're serious!"

"Um, yes," said Araminta. "Absolutely, completely, utterly serious. Professor McGonagall, don't you remember me?"

"My dear child, I have never seen you before in my life." Professor McGonagall cleaned her square-framed glasses and peered closely at Araminta. "Where did you come from?"

Araminta was very disappointed. "But, just yesterday you helped me find my virgin Animagus form and we are Hot Cheetos together. Are you suffering from mild dementia? Am I so very boring?" Araminta looked at her feet, hot tears pricking at the insides of her eyelids.

"I remember nothing of the sort. I think we had better see the Headmaster about this."

The Headmaster! Of course! Albus Dumbledore would have all of the answers.

***

XXIV.

Araminta followed Professor McGonagall up the escalator to Professor Dumbledore's office for the second time in two days. (The password was Blue Raspberry Blow Pops.) She knocked on the door and showed Araminta inside.

The first thing Araminta saw was the beautiful red and gold phoenix on a little bird stand. "Fawkes-Iolanthe!" she shouted before she could help herself. Then, she clapped her hands over her mouth. "Sorry, Papa Dumbledore."

Albus Dumbledore looked very confused. "Beautiful child, I don't have any children of my own. The children of Hogwarts are all mine."

Araminta laughed a silvery, bell-like giggle. "Oh, sorry. You've never been upset when I called you that before, godfather. I suppose I look different than I looked when you gave me the aging spell last night. Look, my hair is down past my knees now! It's aching my head, it's so long."

Albus shook his head slowly. "I am a godfather to many children, it is true, but none of them is close to your age. Perhaps you have changed a lot since--wait, aging spell? What is this madness? Who are you?"

"I'm Araminta Malfoy-Potter," she answered. "You know, the daughter of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter."

Albus looked out over his half-moon spectacles with a stony expression. "I should take points from your House for telling lies."

Araminta felt panic well up in her chest. "I'm not telling lies! Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter are my daddies, and you are my godfather, and yesterday you let me turn from eleven into seventeen and I turned into a woman and was Sorted into Slythindor by that STUPID hat and Melannen was playing hooky and the Time-Turner made me fall down and I scraped my hands and knees and now everything's gone pear-shaped." She said everything in one big breath.

Dumbledore's eyes started to twinkle like little evening stars. "Ah. I think I know what has gone wrong. You say that you had a Time-Turner?"

"Yes." Araminta took the chain off her neck and handed the broken piece to him. "I was going to go to all of the classes, because school was so boring and I needed a bigger challenge. I guess I spun it too much when..."

"Is there something you wish to tell me?" Dumbledore asked.

Araminta shook her head. She couldn't get Melannen in trouble! "I ended up here," she finished softly.

Dumbledore looked at Professor McGonagall and she looked back at him. "The question now is: How should we punish you for what you have done?"

Araminta took a step backward. This was all a bad dream. Her favorite and only godfather was going to get her into big trouble, Melannen was lost, she was having cramps again, and even turning into a unicorn wouldn't save her now.

"Just kidding," said Dumbledore finally. "The real question is, how do we get you back to your own time?"

***

XXV.

"You can just wave your wand and send me back, right?" Araminta was practically crying again. This day was simply awful! Everything bad was happening to her all at once and she could feel her hair coming out of her braid again.

Dumbledore shook his head sorrowfully. "I'm afraid, my dearest Araminta, that it will not be so simple. You see, you must use a Time-Turner to go to the past. It will not take you to the future. That's not the point. When you go to the past you want a do-over, so you live that time again. I'm afraid that the only thing you can do is wait to go into the future again."

"Oh no!" exclaimed Araminta. "What year is it?"

Dumbledore handed Araminta a copy of the Daily Prophet. (A/N I am too lazy to do the math.)

Araminta screamed. "I'm not even born yet! I won't be born for another YEAR! How can this have happened?"

Professor McGonagall sniffed. "You weren't careful with the Time-Turner. That's how it happened."

"I have some other news for you, too. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter are going to be your classmates."

"WHAT????????" Araminta stomped her foot and crossed her arms. "Ooooh, this is just lame! This is unbelievable!" She was so angry that a bunch of Dumbledore's instruments exploded and a lot of the people in the paintings got up and left so they wouldn't have to hear her tantrum.

"Come here so we can get you Sorted," said Dumbledore.

"I was Sorted into Slythindor yesterday. Do I have to be Sorted again?" Araminta whined.

"Yes--what? What the heck is Slythindor?" asked Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling.

"Slythindor's my House--oh, never mind." Araminta grabbed the Hat and jammed it over her head and began to explain.

"Yep, still Slythindor," said the Sorting Hat.

***

XXVI.

A few hours later, Araminta was shown into the same room that she'd been given yesterday, only, this time she had nothing to her name but the clothes on her back. No Fawkes-Iolanthe, no trunk, no spellbooks. She was just lucky that her wand (made of petrified wood from Arizona with a dragon heartstring-unicorn hair-phoenix feather core) had been in the pocket of her robes.

Professor Dumbledore had excused her from classes, so she wandered the hallways, looking at the paintings and reading notices. "Quidditch tryouts on Friday," said one. "Quidditch Ball tickets on sale tomorrow! Only ten Galleons!" said another. "Mail order for Fainting Fancies! Take a coupon!" Araminta ripped off a square of the paper, since she herself never fainted and that might come in handy sometimes.

As she turned a corner, her gray-green eyes met a pair of stormy gray ones. A boy with silvery blond hair was sitting in a shadow and using a quill to put a tattoo on his arm. Araminta moved closer and sat down next to him. He was wearing a little bit of black eyeliner and he had on a white t-shirt and black leather pants. He was really hot.

"Hi," said Araminta. The boy glanced up at her, and then went back to inking the tattoo on his arm. It was shaped like the skull on a pirate flag but instead of having the crossbones underneath it had a big snake coming out of its mouth. "Um, I said hi," said Araminta.

"Hullo," said the boy. "Are you new here?"

"Sort of," said Araminta. She hadn't realized that she was going to have to lie until now. "I just transferred from...Japan. Yeah. Ohayo."

"Oh-hay-yo...I thought that was a really lame place in the United States. Are you a Muggle?"

"No," said Araminta. "You?"

The boy just sneered and laughed. "So, you wanna be my bird? I just broke up with someone, so it's okay. I'm free."

Araminta's heart leapt with joy. She'd been in the past less than a day, and she would have a boyfriend to keep her company until she got to the future again. "Yes, I want to be your lover."

"Let's seal it with a kiss. You know, swak me." The boy leaned forward, and Araminta thought that he smelled like pine trees and coconut and mountain skies. He planted one on her, and she leaned into the kiss and wrapped her arms tight around his waist so she could play with the chain that hung from his belt.

It felt so familiar in his arms. "Oh baby," he murmured in her ear.

"Yeah, I'm your baby," she murmured in between kisses.

The boy kissed her and smirked. "So maybe you should call me your daddy. I'm rich, I'll be your sugar daddy."

Araminta suddenly realized why the boy seemed so familiar. He was Draco Malfoy! She couldn't date her own dad! "Um, I don't think this is such a good idea. You just broke up with someone. Maybe you should get back together with Da...Harry."

Draco laughed a very long laugh. "Get back together with Harry? I've never dated Potter. I just let him chase me around. But if you don't want to go out, that's cool. We can still be friends. Wanna tattoo?"

"No thanks, but I do want some dinner. Is it time yet?"

Draco checked his witch and it started to beep. "Exactly. C'mon, let's go!

***

XXVII.

"Hey, the Great Hall still looks the same!" said Araminta when they got to the Great Hall.

Draco gave her a funny look. "Yeah, it's been the same since, oh, breakfast. You're such a freak." He shook his head. "Let's go sit at the Slytherin table."

They sat down between a pair of Malfoy's henchmen, Crabbe and Goyle, and across from a girl who was named Pansy Parkinson. Pansy Parkinson had a snub nose and looked kind of like a little dog. She also looked kind of like she had been crying, but Araminta didn't want to pry on her first day. Later, she would make friends with Pansy because Araminta thought she would look much better in pink lipstick instead of orange.

When she looked around the hall, Araminta saw that Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were having a conversation. Most of the same teachers were sitting there, but they looked much younger. Snape, too, was much younger, but he was staring at his food like he felt sick.

She didn't see anybody important at the Ravenclaw table or the Hufflepuff table, which was no surprise. She didn't really know any Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff people.

At the Gryffindor table, her eyes alighted on Da...she'd have to remember to call him Harry Potter. Now she could see why so many women liked him. He had really good skin and even though his black hair was messy it was cute, too. He had on glasses that didn't hide his bright green eyes. He was telling a joke and a redheaded girl was laughing really hard like a donkey.

On one side, she could see Ron Weasley, all freckly and long-nosed, sitting next to Harry. On the other side, she could see the bushy hair of her Aunt Hermione sitting next to him. She was looking forlornly right at her. Actually, after a minute, Araminta realized that Aunt Hermione wasn't looking at her, she was looking forlornly at Daddy Draco. Something really weird was going on here.

***

XVIII.

Draco whispered in her ear, "Don't let the Mudblood frighten you. She thinks that she's all that. I can't believe I was going out with her."

"YOU WERE GOING OUT WITH," yelled Araminta. Everybody in the Great Hall turned to look at her, and she lowered her voice to a low whisper. "You were going out with Hermione Granger?"

"Yeah," said Draco, and Araminta thought that she saw a hint of longing in his stormy gray eyes. Then he used a very macho voice to say, "I'm over her. Ready to move on."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, sure, whatever. You're so stuck on her." She said to Araminta, "He keeps sending her owls and presents but she sends them back because she thinks he doesn't really love her and that he's just using her because he needs some dental work. That's dumb because Madam Pomfrey fixed her teeth for her. Why can't she just fix Draco's, you might ask? Anyway, it makes me sick to watch the two lovebirds mooning over each other." She held a hand to her forehead and kicked her feet, giving a little moan like the girl on PBS TV.

"Shut up," said Draco. "You're just jealous that I had a girlfriend. You don't even have a boyfriend."

"Yes I do!" Pansy said. Pansy scowled at Draco.

"Then tell us who he is then," said Draco.

"We've been through this a hundred million times, Draco Malfoy. I'm not telling you anything about my love life!" said Pansy Parkinson.

Araminta was very curious about who Pansy was dating. She knew she could get Pansy to tell her if she could just get her alone. Maybe they could go powder their noses together, and Pansy would tell her in the bathroom after dinner. She saw Pansy turn her head and look at the staff table. Araminta wondered if Pansy was dating Professor Flitwick or somebody.

Araminta had a brilliant beyond brilliant idea. "So, Pansy, who are you going to the Quidditch Ball with?"

"Well, it's not official, but I'm going with--" Pansy clapped her hands over her mouth. Her blue eyes were as wide as dinner plates and they looked like they were going to fall out of her head. "I'm not telling you!"

Araminta poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice and then selected a slice of pizza with sausage, mushrooms, and green pepper. She chewed thoughtfully. How was she going to trick Pansy into telling the truth, let her fathers find their foretold love, get rid of her snotty Aunt Hermione once and for all, and get back to the future so she could save Melannen?

There had to be a way. She didn't know what she was going to do if there wasn't.