Nicole Stevens: Roses and Mistrust

Nicole Stevens: Roses and Mistrust

CH. 12: Major Problems

I walked to Draco's room. Didn't I always? And WHY did I always go? Oh, well. I didn't feel like dwelling on it. What I couldn't figure out, I couldn't change. Wasn't that stitched on a pillow somewhere?

I pushed open the door. The first sight I saw was Draco leaning against the bedpost. He smirked at me. It was the same as the day I'd met him, only now it was a threat. I wondered what I'd gotten myself into this time. By the looks of it, I'd done something serious.

The silence between us was almost tangible. The moonlight shone through a high window, bathing the bed in light. I was waiting for him to move, to speak, anything at all.

"Take off your shirt," he ordered.

"Excuse me?" I demanded. This was some bad joke, right? He wasn't usually the one to play games, unless you count his mind games.

"I told you to take your bloody shirt off already." His voice had a sharp commanding edge to it. I shook my head.

"I will not. You have no right to go around telling me to do things like that." I put my hands on my hips and dared him to tell me otherwise. If he wanted to play a game, well then, I'd just have to play along.

"You bloody well will, or I'll do it for you," he told me. I began to wonder if this was a joke, after all.

"No." I would NOT take off my shirt. It's mine, and I'd be cold without it.

"Oh, well, I like it better this way, so it is no matter to me." I froze. Then I turned around and tried to bolt out the door. He grabbed my waist from behind and pushed me onto the ground. I heard the lock click shut, and scrambled away from him.

Draco turned to face me. He hadn't lost that smirk, but now not only was it threatening, it was hungry and coldly furious. I stood up and tried to run around him to the door. He caught me sharply around the middle and threw me into the bedpost. My head hit first and I clutched at the spot that was beginning to bleed. There was a trickle of blood slowly sliding down my neck from the cut. I tried bravely not to cry.

"Lay down on the bed." I shook my head and absolutely refused to cry. He walked over to me and grabbed my forearm roughly. I cried out and he increased his grip. Draco yanked me sideways and I fell on the bed. He put his hands around my waist and moved me so that I was completely on the bed. Then he pushed me so I was flat on my back staring up at him. He crawled on top of me and straddled my upper legs.

"Let me go!" I yelled. He began to laugh. Of all the sounds in the world, this laugh had to be the scariest on the face of the planet. "Of course. Yes, that is exactly what I'm going to do. Just keep telling yourself that." I started to kick him with all my strength. He recoiled a bit, and I could tell that at least one of my blows had hit home. His hands locked around my wrists and restrained me from hitting him.

"Why are you doing this to me?!?! I didn't do anything to you! Let me go! You're hurting me! Stop it! Ow! Get off! Now!!! Please!!!" I pleaded.

"If you struggle against me, I will tie you to the bed. Stop kicking and I will at least give you the pleasure of touching me." I really didn't like the sound of that.

"NO!!!!! Stop!!!! Help me!!! Somebody!!! Pansy!!! Please!!!" I began to cry and scream. Draco conjured tight cords and bound each of my wrists to a top bedpost, then my ankles to either of the bottom posts.

"I don't understand why you had to struggle. Was I not perfectly clear about the conditions?" He began to unbutton my shirt. "I thought I said that if you tried to escape I'd tie you to the bed, but apparently I wasn't clear enough. Now, let me put it this way, you struggled, I bound you to the bed. Is that clear enough?"

"You are a son-of-a-"

"Do not insult my mother, girl. If you do there will be hell to pay."

"I thought this was hell, but apparently I was mistaken. And, hell can't be worse than this, now, can it?" I questioned, trying to retain my pride.

"Ah, most women would kill to be in your position right now."

"Then they can go ahead and kill me. It'd be better than this. I didn't know that Malfoy's prided themselves on their ability to bat people around like piñatas."

"Shut up. I've given you as little a beating as necessary, but if you keep on like this, I'm certainly not going to refrain from giving you the most painful night of your life. My father is the one who taught me how to punish, and I can assure you his teachings were efficient. Compared to the measly beatings most parents give, his method would be just short of murder." I struggled against my bonds, earning a slap on the cheek from Draco. I tried to kick, but that only seemed to make him more determined.

"Pansy!!!! Help me!!!! I need help!!!! Anyone!!!! Please!!! Can anyone hear me?!?!?!?!?"

"Shut up!" He pushed me down, hard enough to knock the wind from me. He began to untie the complicated double-reverse-twist-braid-loop-the-loop-twirl-bow knot that I used on the bottom of my pajamas. His frustration showed on his face. The cords around my ankles had become stretched, and I was able to raise my knee about a foot off the bed. I waited for the right moment before-WHAM! I slammed my knee up, and I heard his groan of pain. Hehe..... He rolled off and stood beside the bed.

"That...was a very...stupid thing...to do..." He hit my face, a perfect backhanded blow. Then he slammed his fist sideways into my ribs.

"Ugh..."

"Yes, this is what my father taught me. Pain equals obedience, obedience equals loyalty, and loyalty renders subservience." I felt blood running from my cut lip and the blood from my head soaking the pillow in crimson. My eye was swollen, and my cheeks were probably black and blue. I thought my rib was broken, but it most likely wasn't. Draco had too much sense. He'd never break one of my bones.

He put his hand on my jawbone and jerked my head to look at him. "Now, I'm going to give you a fighting chance. I'll untie you, so long as you promise that you won't go out of this room." His eyes raked up and down my face, seeing the damage he'd caused. "Good. Silence is good." He pointed his wand at the ropes and they disappeared.

I sat up rubbing my wrists and ankles. They were red and puffy, and, I noticed, bloody. My arms had his fingerprints on them, marked in deep purple. I slid over to the other side of the bed and buttoned my shirt. My fingers trembled, but I suffered through the pain.

"Now, how are you feeling?" his sweet tone was making me sick. Ooh, good thought, vomit all over his bed, and make him get SOMEONE to clean it.

"Oh, lovely, just spectacular," I croaked. My voice was cracked and dry from yelling. I stood up and walked around the end of the bed. Five feet to the door. Only five feet. I could make it in time. He wouldn't catch me. I bolted to the door and had managed to yank it open. He grabbed me, but I started to yell,

"Help!!! I need help!!! Please!!! Anybody!!! Please!!! Ow!!" He kicked the door shut as he dragged me away.

"I told you not to do that." He let me go and blocked the door.

"So what? I told you to stop."

"I specifically stated that I'd untie you if you didn't try to get away. Those were the terms."

"I never agreed. You took my silence as an agreement, which it WASN'T." He spun around and hit me in the back. I fell on my knees, much like Pansy had, only this time it was stone instead. I began crying again. I couldn't hold back any longer. He wrenched me into a standing position, only to kick my knees from under me again.

Draco helped me up again, but this time he shoved me into the stone wall. I hit, back first. There was a crack, as my shoulders struck the wall. I leaned against it for support. He cornered me and kissed me angrily. I inclined my head, but only far enough to slam it back into the stone.

"Damn you!" I yelled. I threw myself against him, succeeding in making him collapse to the ground. I landed next to him, and tried to crawl to the door. He grabbed my ankle and dragged me back. I desperately tried to dig my fingers into the crevices in the floor, but there were none. He sat with his legs under him and looked down at me. Then he began to hit me again.

"Stop!!! I'm sorry!!! I'll stop!!! Please!!! I-"

"Nicole! Wake up! Nicole its okay! I'm here, it's Harry. Calm down. It's all right. Can you hear me?"

"Harry?" I moaned. "Why're you here?"

"You were screaming. None of the girls could make you stop. They ran to get me. It nearly frightened Seamus to death. He was yelling something about a banshee and a rat."

"But it was so real. I can't believe. He'd never... would he?" I was talking to myself.

"What? Nicole what happened? You've been crying while you slept. What's wrong?"

"I've cried? Oh. Nothing's wrong. I'm okay. I don't know what happened." I sat up, and as much to Harry's surprise as mine, I flung my arms around his neck and started sobbing. He smoothed my hair and whispered,

"Its okay. Nothing's wrong. Don't worry. Whatever it is, you don't have to worry." I wheezed,

"Thanks. I'm sorry about crying all over you."

"It's alright. Do you want to sit up for a while? It might help."

"No, I don't want to keep you up any longer."

"Its okay, I wasn't asleep yet anyway. Let's go downstairs." I nodded and crawled out of bed. He led me down to the common room and sat down in a huge armchair. I sat in his lap without waiting for him to suggest it. Just a quick little time saver there. I turned sideways and slung my legs over one of the arms. Harry hugged me, and I laid my head against his chest. His heartbeat was slow, and normal. I heard my own loud, fast pulse in my ears. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I do know that I was in his arms when I was finally lulled to sleep by the soft, rhythmic thumping of his heart beating.

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I awoke lying on my bed. Harry had probably carried me here when I'd fallen asleep. I yawned and tumbled out of bed. I pulled out a cream colored turtle neck and a matching pair of jeans. Then I took a cashmere scarf from the bottom of my trunk, and wrapped it around my neck. I yanked my brush through my hair a couple of times, before heading downstairs. Harry and Ron were sitting, playing chess.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh, hi. Remember, Boxing Day? Everybody who didn't want to stay at Hogwarts, namely the whole rest of the student population, has gone home. How'd you sleep?" Harry asked.

"Well enough, considering all things. I'm a bit worn out, but I figure I'll make it."

"Good. We were really worried. I was really worried."

"I'm okay, Harry. I just had a nightmare." And a friggin' scary one too. I sat own on the floor beside them. "Harry, I suggest you move your knight. Oh, and if you move it there," I pointed out a move, "then it's buh-bye to Ron's bishop."

"Hey!"

"Thanks," Harry said gratefully.

"I'm going down to the library. Anyone want to come?"

"No!" they said simultaneously.

"Your loss." I went out the portrait hole and headed towards the library. About half way, though, I changed my mind and went outside. I walked down to the tree that I always went to. It was blissfully white out here. No bright colors jumped out at you from everywhere, there was only black and white.

"Too bad my life's not like that. There's way too much grey matter. No fine definition between right and wrong. No absolute sure true or false."

"That's true. Absolutely." His voice; Draco's. I turned around to face him. He was frowning as if lost in thought.

"What are you doing here?" was my cold reply.

"Is it a crime to come outside? I felt like it. And you?"

"Trying to get away from everyone. Especially you." Why was I being so rude? I guess it wasn't surprising after the dream but, oh well. "Just don't ask. I don't want to talk about it."

"Then I want to know. Why do you want to get away from me?" His question was straight and to the point. Good, at least it would take less time.

"Because. What were you THINKING?! Hurting Pansy!? Why did you do that!? I thought you weren't a necessarily violent person, but I guess I was wrong! And what the hell were you thinking when you beat up Harry?!?!?!?!" Whew, I was glad I'd finally gotten that out of my system.

"I hurt Pansy because I was angry."

"SO?!?! That still doesn't mean you can go around taking your frustration out on others! Why did you punch Harry?! I don't understand you!"

"I hit him because he deserved it. And because he was annoying me."

"That's not an excuse. Now go away. I want to be alone."

"No, I'm not going. I wanted to tell you that we need to meet; outside, tonight, alone. One o' clock. By the Forbidden Forest."

"Why? Do you have a reason, or are you just trying to get me to freeze to death? Oh, no. Wait, I bet you're trying to see how many girls you can injure before Christmas break is over!" I knew I was ranting, but I didn't care

"No, actually I was thinking that we could watch the moon tonight and get it over with. I'd rather not spend three days sitting outside in the snow, so we can just watch it tonight and say we've done enough."

"Fine. Now go away."

"Alright. Obviously I've offended you somehow. I'll just go." He turned and left me alone. I scowled out at the expanse of crystalline white. My life was over. I was so FRUSTRATED! I loved Harry, and yet I loved Draco as well. Harry seemed to love me too, but Draco had positively lusted after me. Maybe that was all it was; lust. Draco probably just wanted me; he surely couldn't actually love me. Could he? Harry was a totally different case. He loved me. He'd protect me no matter what. Lust, had nothing to do with it. Okay, maybe it had affected it a little bit. Love? Yeah, Harry loved me. I loved him, sure. But, what about my feelings for Draco?

I shook myself from my trance. It was no use to try and puzzle out my love life. It wasn't just no use, it was a hopeless cause altogether. I leaned against the tree and lightly banged my head against the trunk. I wanted to scream. I wanted to pull my hair. I wanted to go away forever.

==============

"One o' clock," I whispered into the darkness. I threw back the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. My white outfit stood out, even in the dark. I had left my clothes on when I'd laid down, so I wouldn't have to change before I went out. The moonlight shone in strips down my bed. I silently stood and grabbed my wand. You never knew what might happen at night in Hogwarts. I walked over to the door and pulled it open. It creaked and I heard Kat (the only other girl who'd stayed at school) mutter,

"Seamus.... bed.... desk.... rat.... jeans..." I shook my head disgustedly and walked out, closing the door behind me. Best not to let anyone know I was out of bed. I tiptoed down the spiral staircase and hopped off the last step. I hadn't counted on anyone being down here. Ron was sitting on the couch and scanning a page in his book. His blue eyes were dull from sleep, or lack thereof. He heard me moving and raised his eyes. It was dark where I was standing, so it was a second before he spotted me.

"Nicky? What're you-" yawn "-doing down here?"

"Nothing Ron. Don't worry. It's nothing." I hated this, lying to him made me feel guilty. Well, not guilty enough to tell him the truth, but guilty all the same. "I'm just going out for a while. Don't tell anyone, alright? I don't want anybody to come barging down on account of me.

"You said you were-" yawn "-going to tell me the truth-" yawn "-from now on. So, what's up? Why're you sneaking down in the middle of the night?" I mouthed wordlessly and he gained a smug look. "You're going to the Astronomy tower, aren't you? Harry's probably going to come down in five minutes with the same story." I would have to remember to thank him for that one.

"Oh, alright. If you must know, yes. Now shush and leave me alone." He smiled wickedly and went back to poring over the book. I turned and went out the portrait hole. The Fat Lady snored and yawned. I ignored her and walked down the staircases until I reached the landing of the sweeping marble stairs.

I listened and heard only silence. Who knew silence could be so loud? The air is practically tingling with danger and excitement. Odd. I treaded softly and was soon staring at the huge wooden front doors. I heard soft footsteps behind me and ducked into the shadows. Silvery hair. It was Professor Delacour. She swept down the hall and glided soundlessly into a door on the right. I let out a breath that I had not known I was holding.

I pushed open the door and stepped out into the cold. My feet sunk ankle deep into the snow and I had to yank my foot up to go forward. I trekked down the sloping front lawn to the edge of the forest. When I had arrived, I was surprised to find that there was no one there. I checked my watch to be sure.

It said one fifteen, Draco was always punctual, unlike me. He should have been there by then. I turned slowly around, checking for any sign of the silver-haired boy. He was no where to be seen. A rustle of leaves came from overhead. It was only the wind. I looked into the gloom of the shadows, and saw only blackness. This was freaking me out. Why wasn't he here yet? He should be here already. Another crunching, and this time it was footsteps. Twigs breaking underneath someone's feet. I twisted around and saw him standing there like a silver angel in the dark night.

"I was beginning to get worried," I scolded him. Only then did I notice the way he was looking at me. It was a pitiful gaze. He looked like he had wronged me greatly. His onyx-colored eyes were asking my forgiveness for whatever he'd done. My brow furrowed and I gave him a quizzical look. Draco looked at the ground ashamedly. I was confused. Was he sorry for being late? What was this about?

"Very good, boy." Another voice abruptly ended my wondering. I saw a man step out of the trees. Lucius Malfoy.....