Nicole Stevens: Dragons and Deceit

Chapter Sixteen: The Right Words to Say

It was snowing.

It was Christmas.

And I was sitting all alone in the library, with the windows rattling from the wind that battered the sides of the castle. Outside I could see some Gryffindors and Slytherins having a violent snowball fight. Everyone was having fun. Except for me. I was doing my homework, so that it would be done early. Not that I’d have anything to do once I had finished with it. Then I’d just be sitting all alone in the library doing nothing. Well, not completely alone. Umbridge sat at the table across from me.

The smell of hot cocoa reached me and I breathed it in. A pair of Ravenclaws, fresh from snowball fighting, had come into the library with cups of cocoa. They saw me eyeing their cups; one girl took a big gulp of hers, before grinning maliciously at me. The other girl just sighed and sat at a table. I swallowed hard, returning to my books. There was no use getting worked up over nothing. It never did me any good anyway.

“Miss Stevens,” Umbridge said, “I expect you to pay attention to your schoolwork. It is imperative that you do well this semester. Besides, schoolwork is good for the mind, and it should keep you out of trouble. I would hate to have to report you to the school governors again. That was a nasty detention, but for your misbehaviour it was deserved.”

She had to keep reminding me of the detention. Cleaning the girls’ bathroom was awful enough. Doing it without magic was even worse. It had taken me four hours just to finish three cubicles. I didn’t need to be reminded of it.

Dumbledore entered the library. He strode to my table and smiled. “Good afternoon, Miss Stevens. Miss Umbridge, Lucius Malfoy is in my office, demanding to see you. He seems determined to have a word with you. If you would kindly oblige,” he gestured at the door. Umbridge nodded eagerly and left. Dumbledore took her seat, conjuring up two cups of steaming cocoa. “How are you holding up, Miss Stevens?”

He offered me a mug of cocoa and I took it from him. “Solitary confinement agrees with me.”

Dumbledore chuckled softly. “Not so solitary,” he commented. “You attend classes with other students.”

“Everyone treats me like I’m a social leper. There’s no connection between me and anyone. If that’s not solitude, then I need a new dictionary.” I took a sip of the cocoa. “But I guess I’m doing well. It’s horrible that I can’t even talk to Draco anymore. I’m cut off from everyone.”

“It is lamentable that the circumstances are such that you must be separated from Mister Malfoy and the other students. It is for the best, as you know.”

"I know. I just wish that everyone didn't hate me. Because they treat me like a traitor. Not that it's any different from previous years...I guess I should just suck it up."

Dumbledore sighed deeply, just as Lucius Malfoy stomped into the library. He spotted Dumbledore, and made his way over to the table. I hurriedly shoved my homework into my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "Thanks for the cocoa, Professor." Taking the cup, I hurried out of the library, rushing past Lucius.

He spun around, saying in a sharp voice, "Miss Stevens, return to the table, if you will. I would like a word."

I grimaced and breathed deeply, going back to the table. Lucius followed after me with a vindictive smirk on his face. Sitting, I laid my bag on the floor beside my chair and set the cocoa on the table. Dumbledore had a bland smile on his face as Lucius pulled out one of the chairs and sat.

"Professor Dumbledore," I pled, "I really must protest this. I have a prior engagement, you know. Getting ready for Hogsmeade, and then there's the Seventh Years' Ball at nine. Mustn't forget that."

"Then it would seem that you will not be attending Hogsmeade," Lucius drawled.

"Lucius," Dumbledore said quietly, "she may go if she pleases."

"Thank you, Professor. Mister Malfoy," I inwardly cringed, "it was delightful to see you again. Good afternoon."

I grabbed my things and hurried out of the library. It was lucky that Professor Umbridge hadn’t returned to the Library with Lucius, or our little meeting would have been much more unpleasant. Deciding to drop my bags off at the dorm, I stopped by quickly, managing not to encounter any other students on my way. From my trunk I removed a heavy cloak. It was the one from fifth year that Draco had given me, and it still fit. I cursed the fact that I had grown so little.

There was laughter outside the door. I shoved my wand into my pocket and hurried out, pushing past Parvati and Lavender. They called after me, “You could be polite, you know!” I ignored them, continuing down the stairs.

I passed several bunches of students who had just returned from snowball fighting. They sneered as I passed, obviously I was not forgiven yet for angering their Head Boy. It seemed that though Draco and I were on good terms-though we couldn’t speak or make eye contact in the halls-the rest of the student population still hadn’t decided to excuse me.

As I neared the front doors a cold blast of wind met me. Some young Gryffindors had entered, their robes snow covered. One of them was Ginny Weasley. She saw me and stopped, extricating herself from the group. I paused as she came to meet me in the centre of the hall.

“Hey,” she greeted.

I half-smiled and replied, “Wow. Someone’s speaking to me.”

“Not for long, but yeah. Listen, I don’t know what’s up with you and Malfoy, or what happened with Harry. But as much as I dislike you, I sort of understand where you’re coming from. The whole school is upset at you. Let them get over it on their own. That’s not really what I came to talk to you about, though. My brother and Hermione have been talking about you. They don’t trust you, but they don’t trust Malfoy either. If you want them to forgive you, apologise to them for whatever they think you did. And don’t hang around Malfoy.”

“Ginny, I don’t hang around with him. And Ron and Hermione can hang themselves. I don’t care about them. They have their opinions and their doubts about me. That’s fine. They don’t like me; great for them. But there are a grand total of four people I care about. My parents, Harry, and Draco. So if Hermione or Ron have a problem about that, they can go stuff themselves.”

She shrugged. “If that’s the way you really feel…”

“It is. But really, it was great talking to you. Let’s do this again, shall we? I always feel great when I’m told to suck it up and apologise for something I didn’t do. Or, in this case, apologise for something I did do to someone who I didn’t do anything to. Or something like that.”

Ginny nodded and headed off down the hall. I turned, mulling over what she had said. Though she had brought up some valid points, I wasn’t about to prance up to the other Gryffindors and apologise for doing absolutely nothing to them.

I slipped outside, immediately met with a freezing wind. A few students still remained outside to have snowball fights--mostly the younger students. The others had gone upstairs to grab a cloak for Hogsmeade, no doubt. I was undecided as to whether or not I would be attending Hogsmeade. If I went, I might be rid of Umbridge for a good couple of hours. Staying would allow me to keep to myself, which was definitely something I would be happy to do.

I finally settled on going to Hogsmeade. The doors opened and students began pouring outside, on their way to the little village. I sidestepped the steady stream of teenagers and went inside to grab some money. Once I had my money I returned to the entrance hall and got in line. Filch went through the students thoroughly, making sure that no one underage had slipped past and gone to Hogsmeade. I was one of the last in line, and he seemed especially suspicious of me.

"Stevens...yes, you're old enough. Not suspended from going, by my list. But you're unaccompanied by your Guardian. It says here that you must be accompanied by your Guardian. Where is she, then? You've not gotten past her, have you?"

"No," I said, searching for an excuse. "My Guardian is meeting with the Headmaster and the school governors. She won't be able to attend Hogsmeade with me, but the Headmaster assured me that I would be able to go."

"Is that so?" he mused. "Well, that may or may not be true. We'll just have to check that with Professor Dumbledore. Step off to the side, then. I'll finish checking the rest of the students and then we'll be up to speak with Professor Dumbledore."

I nodded, hiding my grimace. My lie would certainly get me a week's detention, and another week added on to Umbridge's stay. Filch finished with the rest of the students, and as soon as they had left for Hogsmeade he lead me up to Professor Dumbledore's office. We walked up the stairs, coming to the door. I pushed it opened and was greeted by the sound of Draco's voice.

"...know how long I can keep this up. They're starting to get sus--Nicole." He saw me and stood. I nodded in greeting.

"Thank you for taking time to meet with me, Draco. I'm sure I'll see you later."

Draco glanced back at him and shrugged. He turned back to me saying, "It was nice seeing you, Nicole." He passed me on his way out the door. Filch frowned.

"All right, Professor. I'm sorry to interrupt your meeting with a student, but there's a little matter that requires your permission. Stevens said that Umbridge was in a meeting with you and the school governors, and that her Guardian wouldn't be attending Hogsmeade with her. Is she lying?"

"Why, Filch, I'm surprised at you. I would think that common sense would tell you that she was not, but apparently..." Dumbledore chuckled and continued, "No, Argus, she's telling the truth. Miss Umbridge is meeting with Lucius Malfoy in the Library. Miss Stevens may go to Hogsmeade unaccompanied. But before she does I would like a word with her."

"Very well, then. I'll just go down to my office." He left, shooting a glare at me as he walked out the door.

"Miss Stevens, please sit, if you will." I sat. "There's no need to look so glum. You're still going to Hogsmeade. I wanted to tell you that Mister Malfoy will be waiting for you at the gates. I think that's it. You may go now."

I sat for a moment, completely stunned. When I returned to my senses, I nodded and headed down to the front doors. They opened from the outside, and Hagrid stepped in, nodding in greeting. “Afternoon.”

“Hey,” I said, passing him.

“Wait a minute. I wanted to tell you that your Dragars are doing really good. They’re getting along with Fang just fine. D’you know when you’ll be taking them back?”

“Not at the moment, no. But I suspect that I’ll get them at the end of the year. Thanks.” If I’m still alive by then, I thought.

Hagrid nodded once more as I jogged down the front steps. It was still snowing, though much less fiercely than it had been a few hours ago. The lawn was a field of snowy white bliss. Already the footprints of the other students had disappeared. I trekked down to the gates, where Draco was standing with a heavy black robe on and a dark scarf around his neck. He grinned slightly, extending his hand to me. I took it as he muttered, “Let’s hope no one’s spying on us. Otherwise…we’ll both be very unfortunate.”

“I don’t doubt there’s someone out to get us. But I think they can wait until after the trip to Hogsmeade, don’t you?”

“No. I don’t think so. But Dumbledore obviously does, or he wouldn’t have let us go.”

“Tell me, have you always been this unhappy, or is it a new thing?”

“I’m not unhappy. I am more concerned about keeping my life, but then-aren’t we all? I’m just surprised that Dumbledore managed to orchestrate the meeting between my father and Umbridge so that it happened today.”

“It was a well-thought-out plan, I’ll admit. So, who are you going to the Seventh Years’ Ball? Pansy, I suppose. Or maybe Blaise…she seemed like she was yearning for your attention last time I saw her.”

“They think I’m pining for you,” he stated.

“You don’t pine for anyone.”

“How are you so sure that I don’t?”

“Is this a trivia game, or something? Honestly, Draco. I’ve got no idea if you’re pining or not. But who are you going with?” I asked.

“I’m going stag. It’s better than nothing.”

“It’s better than Pansy. That’s what you mean.”

“What I mean is that it’s better than not going at all.”

“Why wouldn’t you go?” I pressed.

“Look, it’s either I go alone, or with you. Going with you is not an option at the moment, which is why I’m going alone,” he said curtly.

“Ah, right. Well, how’ve you been?”

“Drinking heavily and strip teasing at local pubs. Why do you ask?”

“Maybe I could get the name of one of those clubs, eh?” I teased.

“Most definitely not. But I suppose I’m fine. Voldemort and my father have been having some trouble deciding if they want me to continue ‘pursuing’ you. Right now it’s a moot point. If my father gets his way I’ll be ordered to keep a good distance away from you.”

“Aren’t you doing that already?”

“Yes; they said that I am to ‘keep contact to the bare minimum.’ In fact, my father said that if I bumped into you in the halls I was supposed to keep walking. You should have seen the way he looked when he said it. His face turned this horrid grey colour and he kept clenching and unclenching his hands. It was painfully difficult not to laugh.”

“I’m sure.”

Draco and I chatted for the rest of the way to Hogsmeade. He pulled me into the candy shop, Honeydukes, and we scanned the shop walls for interesting buys. On one wall was a whole variety of odd sweets. Draco pulled a packet of blood flavoured lollipops from the wall, holding them out to me.

“They might come in useful if we come in contact with Vitale again,” he murmured. “Without Rayne there he’s much more difficult to deal with. I met him a few months ago, and he almost took my head off just for commenting on how powerful Rayne was.”

“I know. He has a volatile temper. Let's go grab something to eat. All this candy's making me hungry..."

Draco agreed to go to the pub for lunch, so we headed out into the snow. Most of the other students had already made the short walk down to the Three Broomsticks (which was decorated lavishly for Christmas), so the streets were empty but for a few stragglers. An owl hooted from between two buildings. Draco stopped suddenly, his eyes wide. I paused beside him, tilting my head towards the sound. I'd never quite heard a bird like that before. Mentally shrugging, I tugged on Draco's hand. He looked at me blindly, blinking several times.

"That's not a good sign," he said in a monotone voice.

"Are you Trelawny, or something? What's the problem?"

Draco grimaced and glanced around. "That was a signal from one of the Order. They're watching out for us. The hoot means that there's trouble We'd best head back down the--" An enormous bang erupted from ahead. A blinding flash of light shone into my eyes, and I felt myself being sheilded from a blast of heat.

Something had gone wrong. Something terrible, an awful mistake, an accidental explosion, surely...

My thoughts trailed off as a gentle hand trailed down my cheek. Cool fingers rested on my forehead. I opened my eyes, and above me I saw a kind, young face. Long brown hair fell in gentle waves around me. The girl blinked at me once, and sighed. Waving once, a gesture meant to call someone forward, she brushed back a strand of her hair.

"Hello," she said softly. "I'm Ari Concadia, of the Order."

I frowned. I remembered something about her, some random fact I had learned in the past. But as soon as I had thought of it, my thought had disappeared. Kneeling beside me was Draco, with ash smeared across his cheek. He made eye contact with Ari; a sort of connection passed between them. With a glance at me, he nodded and left silently.

"Where's--" I mumbled.

"Gone to see what's become of the rest of them. That explosion was a very large, very powerful, magical creation. I feel lucky that it wasn't as dangerous as a nuclear Muggle bomb. Now that would have been unfortunate. I don't know if anyone's been injured or killed...I don't particularly look forward to having the answer, either. But I can tell you that you are very lucky. Draco could have gotten himself killed trying to get you out of the way."

"What if something else explodes and Draco is hurt?" I asked childishly.

"It won't. That much magic used in one burst would take quite a bit of energy. There would be no way to produce another."

I nodded and struggled to sit up. Ari gently took my arm, pulling me to my feet. "How are you? Injured?"

"I'm fine. A little dizzy, but I can handle it. Tell me who made the explosion. And why?"

"I suspect it was Death Eaters. I don't know which ones. It doesn't even matter which of them did it. They were all in on it, whether or not they actually helped cause the explosion. Why? Well, it's a good question. I would guess that it has something to do with that gorgeous ruby necklace you've got hidden away somewhere."

"So they were trying to get it by killing me. What would that acheive?"

"Do not ask me about Death Eater logic. As far as I know, there is no such thing." She grinned at her joke. "But I was hoping that if you're up to a little hard work, you could join the Order. It's a tough job, no doubt, but we get a few laughs in every once in a while."

"I don't know if I can. You see, I'm under strict Guardian supervision. I might could sneak away occasionally; I don't really know. I'll definitely think on it, though."

"All right. Do you think you could go check on the situation further down the street? It's safe now for you to be seen."

I nodded, glancing at the ash that covered the buildings and shivered. "Yeah, I'll go do that. Maybe it'll ease a little of my fear." Ari raised her eyebrows. "Maybe it won't," I amended, "but it couldn't hurt to try." She grinned and turned from me, heading towards the path to Hogwarts. I made my way to the Three Broomsticks. The explosion had set fire to many of the shops, but that damage seemed much less when compared to the pub itself. It had been charred badly, and parts of it were still burning.

Draco emerged from the wreckage, carrying someone in his arms. A wave of worry swept over me. Looking up, Draco saw me. He swallowed hard and said, "It's Ginny Weasley. She's in a bad way."

From behind me, Ari stepped forward. "Give her to me. I'll heal her as best I can. You go back in and check on things." Draco nodded and entered the wreckage. I followed after him, coughing from the smoke. People were shouting in the back, panicked voices called out for help. Draco glanced back at me, grimacing. He was greatly distressed by this, even if he tried to hide it. Without a word he ducked under a blackened board, and I was left to pick my way through. I came upon a girl, fourteen at most. She was cowering under a table.

"Hey," I said. "Are you okay?"

She looked at me with wide eyes, and nodded. "Have you come to get me out?" she asked fearfully.

"Yeah," I replied. "It's my fault anyway."

She frowned, but let me help her up. I took her outside. "Wait here, and I'll go help the others." Some people emerged from the building. They were older students, and some adults. Draco exited last, carrying another small body. I went back inside, moving quickly through the ash-covered remnants of the pub. Many people had already gotten outside, but some students had yet to find a way out. As I came to the back of the pub, I saw Ron crouched by a girl lying on the floor. It was Hermione.

"Nicole," he said, barely taking his eyes off her. "What're you doing here? Come to see how much damage your boyfriend did?"

"We need to get her out of here," I replied. "And Draco didn't do this, if that's what you meant."

"Don't touch her," growled Ron. "Don't even talk about her."

"Ron, are you insane? She'll die if we don't get her out. There are people--friends of Dumbledore's--outside to heal people. I promise you I'm telling the truth."

"Draco did this to them," he hissed.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" I asked, kneeling beside him.

"I saw him, standing outside the window."

"You did? Are you sure it was him?" I questioned.

He scowled at me. "Completely sure. Unless, of course, there's another slimy, blond git crawling around Hogsmeade."

I shrugged and reached towards Hermione. Ron shoved my hand away. "Don't touch her."

"Ron, do you want her to die?"

"I'd rather she died than having you take her out of this place."

I stood, nodding. “All right, Ron. Kill your girlfriend if you want. But Harry won’t forgive you for it. Ever.” I left him, going back outside. There were many students and very few adults, all of whom looked the worse for wear, but everyone was pitching in to help get as many people out of the building as possible. Ron appeared in the doorway after a brief moment, cradling Hermione in his arms. He was bombarded by two professors from the school, who were all intent on curing Hermione of whatever ailed her. But they all had a deer-in-the-headlights expression on their faces when they saw her.

Ron said what no one else would. "I know she might not get better. But I want to try." The professors nodded and began work. McGonagall bent over Hermione, pressing her wand into the girl's skin and trying her best to find what was wrong.

Behind me, Draco cleared his throat. I sighed as he wrapped his arms tightly around me from the back. He pressed his lips to my neck before whispering, "I'm sorry that my family is the way it is. Somnus shouldn't've done this..."

"He did what?!" I exclaimed, whirling around to face him.

Draco crossed his arms over his chest in an obvious gesture of uncomfort. He grinned wryly, glancing self-conciously at the ground. "Yeah. Ari saw him cast the spell. She told me, but thought that I should be the one to tell you.

"Well, that might be one reason Ron seemed so upset at you. He thought he saw you in the window before it happened, but I knew you couldn't have done it. You wouldn't have done something like that, anyway. Have you told him about Ginny, yet?"

Draco's expression became solemn. With a shake of his head, he said, "I think Granger's enough to worry him for now. Knowing that his sister is dying--"

"She can't be healed?" I interrupted.

"Ari's trying, she really is. But it just doesn't look as if she'll pull through. She had internal bleeding, burns, and just about every other injury you could possibly think of. I hate it for him; I don't know what to do about it. I can't tell him. I won't do it. I know that I'm being a coward and I don't care, because I refuse to tell him."

"If Hermione were well, she would do it. And Harry, too."

Draco gave me a pained look. "You really miss him, eh?"

"Some times more than others. But now...I wish I could just pass this off on someone else. I don't want to. Can't we have one of the professors do it? Gods and goddesses above. Why is it always the good people like Ron who have to go through such hell?"

"You'll do it? You're sure?"

"No one else will. I want him to know before she actually..." I broke off. "How much time does she have?"

"Maybe a day or two, maybe a few hours."

"I'll be back as soon as I've done it." I turned from him, walking down the path, away from everyone. I would tell Ron, once I had found the words to use.

Were there any right words to use when someone's little sister was dying? I thought miserably as I travelled down a dingy alley. My mother had once told my that the right words were hard to come by, and if you managed to find them they usually worked themselves into a jumble before you managed to get them off your tongue. But she was talking about a speech, and I'm talking about a girl's demise. Can I do this? I don't know...I wish there were someone to do it for me, but I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with this kind of calm panic.

As I walked up the hill to the derelict Shrieking Shack, the sun shone in dull golden rays onto the old manor. The snow was unmarked on the path, except for the tracks of a solitary wolf. It had come and gone at least an hour before; near the time that Draco and I had left the Honeydukes. Amazed though I was at how long ago it had seemed, I could not push the thoughts of my current task from my head.

All I want for Christmas, I mused sadly, is to be happy. Have I ever been happy? Has Ginny been happy? And Ron, or Harry; Draco, too? Have any of us been happy? I mean, have we ever really been truly, inexplicably happy?

I didn't know the answer; I might find it in a day, a month, five months, or maybe I would never know. But right now, the answer didn't matter. Right now, I didn't matter. What really made a difference in the world was what happened to Ginny. She was what mattered. I would tell Ron. I would be straightforward. I had to be.

Without noticing what I was doing or where I was going, I found myself standing in the middle of the crowd of people who had come from the pub. Ron knelt beside Hermione, as McGonagall worked to heal her. This was it. The time had come for him to know. I walked to him, causing Ron to jump to his feet.

"What're you doing here?" he asked.

"Ron, I have something to tell you. Please sit down."

"What do you have to tell me? Why do I need to sit?"

"Ron, please sit down now."

"No," he said slowly. "I won't. Tell me what's the matter."

"You'll be sorry you didn't sit," I told him.

"Tell me."

"Your sister is dying. She might not last very much longer. There are wizards working on her; they can't seem to help her."

Ron spilled onto his knees, his hands covering his face. He raised his eyes to mine, tears rimming them. He shook his head. "No. No, not Ginny. She's fine. She's at the castle, studying for her exams," he muttered frantically. "She can't be..."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I think they'll let you see her, though."

"No!" he yelled, lunging at my legs. Ron wrapped his arms around my legs, resting his head on my knees. Sobbing, he cried, "You're not serious, Ginny's fine. She's healthy. Happy. She's at school."

I patted his head awkwardly. McGonagall looked up at me from beside Hermione, saying without words that I needed to take him to see Ginny, but she looked away quickly. With as little cruelness as necessary, I pried Ron from my legs and helped him to his feet. I wound my arm around his waist to hold him up. A quick glance told me that Ginny wasn't close by. I found Draco wandering through the crowd and waved clumsily at him. He came to us as Ron continued sobbing on my shoulder.

"Where is she?" I asked him.

Looking apprehensively at Ron, Draco shook his head, "I don't know for sure. I think they took her back to the castle. You'll have to wait at least half an hour to get there. Most of the students have already begun to head back."

"Ah," I nodded. "I'll let Ron stay here for a while longer, then we'll go back to Hogwarts." I helped Ron sit while Draco moved off into the remaining crowd to help. He returned soon, accompanied by the little girl I had helped out.

She smiled at me, averting her eyes from Hermione's still form. "Thanks for helping me earlier. I'm Laura."

"I'm Nicole. What year are you in?"

"Third," she replied. "This is only my second time to come here. I thought this place was wicked, but now..."

"I know. It's a really great place usually but this is a real catastrophe."

“Do you know who did it?” Laura directed the question at Draco and me.

He and I exchanged dark looks; he shook his head, saying, “No, we don’t know yet. But we’ll find out soon, I suspect.”

She nodded, though it was obvious she didn’t believe his answer. “We should probably start back to school, or we won’t get there in time to tell Dumbledore what really happened,” I said quickly. “Laura, go with Draco and make sure he doesn’t get himself killed by a rogue badger. I’ll get Ron.”

Laura grinned and started off. Draco pulled me into a hug, murmuring, “Yeah, right. A rogue badger’s going to kill me.” I pushed him away, smiling. He waved a goodbye to me, and run to catch up with Laura.

Turning to Ron and McGonagall, who was still working on Hermione, I said, “Come on, Ron. Let’s go see your sister.”