A Likely Story

Someone knocked on his office door. "Come in," he said, sounding as surly and unwelcoming as possible, to be on the safe side.

The Ferret Boy entered. Severus couldn't help but think of him that way since he'd switched the allegiances of half his house to Dolores Umbridge, a betrayal of the Slytherin Head of House never before seen, as far as he knew. When he was retiring, Horace had told him that Slytherins stood proudly apart from the rest of the school and their loyalties always lay with their Head of House, even if the Headmaster was a Slytherin.

At the same time, Severus thought of the power Umbridge offered these kids when she gave them the Inquisitorial Squad pin. He asked himself if he could have resisted the temptation of such an offer of power when he was a teenager and decided he didn't like the answer.

"Yes, Draco?" he said in a friendlier tone, his face and voice not betraying any trace of the contempt he was feeling.

"The Headmistress needs you right away, sir," said Draco, smirking.

He looks awfully pleased, thought Severus. Draco must have done something more substantial to curry favour with Umbridge than just fetch Severus to help with a plumbing problem.

When they arrived at Umbridge's office, Severus was not surprised to see various Gryffindor students, including Potter, struggling to escape from Inquisitorial Squad members. The confrontations between the Squad and the Gryffindors had been increasingly brazen since the Montague episode, and he had been wondering how long it would be before Umbridge got directly involved. "You wanted to see me, Headmistress?" he asked.

"Ah, Professor Snape," said Umbridge, looking every bit the toad that had swallowed a particularly juicy fly. "Yes, I would like another bottle of Veritaserum, as quick as you can, please."

"You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter," he lied silkily. The bottle that Tonks had filled with water from the tap probably contained more traces of Basilisk than anything resembling Veritaserum, he thought, and assumed a haughty expression to forestall any possibility of a smirk. "Surely you did not use it all? I told you that three drops would be sufficient."

She flushed. "You can make some more, can't you?"

Her amphibian rage was as hilarious as it was predictable, and he sneered to prevent himself from laughing in her face. "Certainly. It takes a full moon-cycle to mature, so I should have it ready for you in around a month."

"A month?" she squawked. "A month? But I need it this evening, Snape! I have just found Potter using my fire to communicate with a person or persons unknown!"

"Really?" he said, looking round at Potter. "Well, it doesn't surprise me. Potter has never shown much inclination to follow school rules."

Instead of trying to avoid his gaze like he usually did, the boy was staring at him urgently. What's this? An image of Sirius Black being tortured? Not an unpleasant image, but finding it in Potter's mind was rather unexpected.

"I wish to interrogate him," said Umbridge. Severus turned away from Potter to look into the eyes of the woman before him. She was thinking she could fetch Veritaserum from the Ministry, but they would want a court order before they would let her perform a Veritaserum interrogation. So she was dependant on Severus' goodwill.

Fortunately, he didn't have any. "I wish you to provide me with a potion that will force him to tell me the truth!" hissed Umbridge in growing desperation, appearing about as threatening as those revolting kittens on the decorative plates behind her. Severus let more of the contempt he was feeling show on his face. The Dark Lord would ask him to do something, and if he didn't, his refusal would be the last thing he ever did. Dumbledore preferred to use persuasion rather than coercion, but in the end, he was as accomplished as the Dark Lord at getting his way.

Umbridge, however, was starting to realise that she had no real authority and was sounding as whiny and petulant as a homesick first-year with detention. The time for trying to placate her with fake Veritaserum was past.

Instead, it was time to show her and those Inquisitorial Squad ingrates who really held the reins of power at this school. "I have already told you that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum. Unless you wish to poison Potter--and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did--I cannot help you. The only trouble is that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling."

Severus looked away from Potter, who had been mentally screaming over and over that the Dark Lord was holding Black in the Department of Mysteries. Either the boy was hallucinating, or the Dark Lord was sending him a false image to try and lure him off the safety of school grounds. Albus would want Severus to contact Black and ensure that he was safe and unharmed at 12 Grimmauld Place before he did anything else.

But first he would have to get out of this room. Severus ground his teeth in frustration. If there was anything more thankless than having to contact Sirius Black, it was anticipating contacting Sirius Black. Instead of getting it over and done with, he would have to stand there, pretending to be thinking about something else, wondering what sort of humiliating insult the man spent his loads of free time devising for whenever they had to meet. And he, Severus, may be able to hold his own against the withering glares of the entire Wizangamot, but they didn't know him when he was a child.

"You are on probation!" shrieked Umbridge.

Severus raised his eyebrows slightly, taking in the clock on the wall. If Umbridge had moved on to punishments, she probably was almost finished with him. And she'd better be--if she didn't throw him out of her office inside of one minute, he would have to try and expedite his expulsion. He began to wrack his brains for the right sort of insult, but so many sprang to mind, it was hard to choose amongst them. What could he say that would at once make her throw him out immediately, but not get him sacked? The Dark Lord would be very angry if he lost his spy at Hogwarts.

Now Umbridge was swelling up like she was about to give birth to tadpoles. "You are being deliberately unhelpful! I expected better, Lucius Malfoy always speaks most highly of you! Now get out of my office!"

He graced her with a bow before turning to leave. When he told Lucius about this, he would suggest a toast, and maybe Lucius would get out his best scotch. Or at least the best he would stoop to share with a half-blood.

"He's got Padfoot!" shouted Potter. "He's got Padfoot in the place where it's hidden!"

Suppressing a sigh, Severus took his hand off the door handle.

"Padfoot?" cried Umbridge in excitement. "What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What does he mean, Snape?"

Snape looked at Potter, also taking in the rest of the room. Any sign, any gesture, any word obvious enough for Potter would be obvious to everyone else as well. Potter was just going to have to trust him. "I have no idea," said Severus. "Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little. If Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job."

He had been inching towards the door as he spoke. Once it was safely closed behind him, he broke into an all-out run, sprinting all the way to the nearest teacher's office. "Make way, Filius," he barked at the astonished Charms teacher as he practically dove into the diminutive man's fireplace.

At the other end, he sprawled on the carpet in front of his own fire.

"What an unnecessarily undignified entrance," commented Phineas Nigellus from his dungeon portrait by the fire. "And probably none too good for your back."

"I'll mind my own back, Phineas," retorted Snape coolly, ignoring the bolts of pain lancinating up his spine as he rose from the carpet. "Tell Albus I need to speak with him right away."

He then sent a Patronus to 12 Grimmauld Place.

--Are you in, Black?

--Where else would I be?

--Never mind. No matter what happens, remember it is your duty to stay right where you are.

--What's happening??

--Probably nothing. But if anything does happened, I'm sure you'll be informed. Eventually.

In reply, the other man's Patronus attempted to make him run so that it could give him chase. But he stood his ground and eventually it settled for snapping at him before vanishing.

Phineas re-appeared in his dungeon portrait. "The Headmaster isn't here. He usually isn't, you know. It's dreadfully dull without him."

"I regret that I am not more entertaining," retorted Severus snidely. "How do I reach him?"

"You know you can't when he's travelling. But he's expected at my old house, and several of the others have already arrived there. Why not contact them?"

Severus traced his lips with a finger thoughtfully. "First, I think I should see what Potter is up to."

"I was just getting to that," said Phineas waspishly. "Hermione Granger has convinced Dolores Umbridge to accompany her and Harry Potter alone into the Forbidden Forest. And a roomful of Slytherin students couldn't prevent it." He shook his head dolefully. "It's a sad day for Slytherin when a handful of Gryffindor students prove themselves better at deception."

"When Umbridge is gone, I plan on explaining to them about the consequences of throwing their allegiances behind the wrong person," Severus replied absently. Should he follow Potter into the Forest or await his return? "Speaking of allegiances, I'd wager the boy doesn't trust me."

No-one answered, as Phineas was once again absent from his portrait. Severus sat in his chair a moment, drumming his fingers on the armrests, before springing to his feet to pace before the fire.

Phineas re-appeared in his portrait. "I regret to inform you of a further disgrace to Slytherin," he intoned portentously. "The remaining Gryffindor students who were being held in the pretender's office have made good their escape and are making their way to the Forest."

Severus sighed and flung out another Patronus. "That's it, then. They're on another heroic quest."

"The incompetence of these current Slytherin students doesn't reflect well on our house, Severus."

"Well, if this lot is going to end up serving the Dark Lord, it's just as well they'll be bad at it, I daresay."

"Your attitude doesn't exactly fill me with hope for the future."

Just then, Tonks' reply to his message arrived.

--We're going to the Ministry, Sirius included. There's no stopping him.

--Did you try Stupefy? Albus is expected, and someone has to be there to brief him.

The reply did not come from Tonks.

--Make up your mind, Snape. I thought you would be thrilled by the prospect of my capture by the Ministry. Or does the absence of Dementors from Azkaban take all the fun out of it for you?

Another message from Tonks overlapped the last.

--If there are Death Eaters at the Ministry, we need all the help we can get. Sirius has left a message for Albus with Kreacher.

--I don't think the House-Elf can be trusted.

--Look who's talking about trust, ha ha.

--Your godson is putting you into danger because he wouldn't trust me.

--He's not risking your life, is he? It's not as if you're going to be here. After all, why risk your life in an honest duel when you can skulk around, pretending to risk your life? I'm sure telling everybody what they want to hear is oh so hazardous.

--Why am I not the slightest bit surprised that the subtleties of my position are lost on you, Black?

--On second thought, come join us. I won't blow your cover. I'll treat you just like any other Death Eater, I promise.

--To maintain my cover, I would have to kill you, Black. What an unfortunate loss that would be.

Several minutes went by, but Severus received no more messages, until...

--Severus? Are you alone?

--Yes. Are you, Tonks?

--Everybody is outside waiting for me. I just wanted to say, I'd like to see you after we throw these tossers into Azkaban. Shouldn't take long.

--Don't underestimate your enemy. Most of them may be complete idiots, but they all learned how to duel from the Dark Lord.

--I learnt duelling from Mad-Eye, if it's any consolation.

Severus closed his eyes. The memory was still as vivid as if it were in a Pensieve. Auror Moody had collapsed to his knees in shock, blood flowing copiously from his ruined nose while Evan Rosier stood over him smirking in triumph. Evan turned to grin at Severus and suddenly they were both looking down at a hole in Evan's chest you could put a bludger through.

--It is a consolation. The man is every bit as mental as the Dark Lord.

--I'll send you a message when we're finished.

--I'll bring a bottle of elf-made wine. And Tonks? If you get yourself killed, I'll be very angry.

Severus left his quarters and ran upstairs. "Are the students back from the Forest yet?" he asked a portrait near the front door.

The portrait's occupant, an imperious young woman in a red dress, paused in brushing her long chestnut hair and narrowed her eyes at him. "What will you do to them if they're not?"

He swore under his breath and descended back to the dungeons to fetch his travelling cloak before sweeping from his chambers. A short distance down the corridor, just shy of the Potions classroom, a dusty, unlit hallway ended at a narrow metal door. Generations of curious students who ventured down this corridor squinted at the faded inscription on the door: "Accessway to main sewage trunk. All who enter are advised to wear rubber boots and a Bubblehead Charm." Wrinkling their noses, they would retreat back to the main corridor.

No students, not even the Marauders, realised that this door was nothing more than an exit, a shortcut to the outside from the castle's lower levels. The dungeons were at ground level here and Severus stepped into the damp evening air through a thorny hedge that obligingly parted before meshing back together behind him into an impenetrable thicket.

Severus' rapid pace belied his reluctance. Between the aggressive mood of the centaurs and whatever big creature Hagrid was hiding, the Forbidden Forest was the last place Severus wanted to visit these days, and having to search there for wayward students went beyond mere inconvenience. And at the end of it all, if things went the way they usually did, Potter and Granger would be hailed as heroes, unscathed except for a few rakish scratches they could show off in the Gryffindor Common Room, while he'd likely be slinking back to the castle in torn, muddy robes and an arrow in his...what was that noise?

An enormous crashing resounded from the Forest and Severus could see large trees flailing about as something large jostled them. As he drew nearer, he could hear the angry shouts of centaurs and a woman screaming.

"Bloody fucking Merlin," he muttered, breaking into a run.

Though he owned no Invisibility Cloak, Severus' years of spying had taught him how to sneak about without being noticed. He slipped through the Forest undetected by any of its multitudinous four-legged, six-legged, eight-legged, or ten-legged inhabitants.

He cautiously approached the general area where the noise had been coming from. When he happened upon a clearing, he hunkered down behind a bush to peer through it, and suppressed a snort.

The centaurs had tied Dolores Umbridge to a tree and were arguing vociferously amongst themselves. After a few minutes of painstaking eavesdropping, he was able to discern that they couldn't agree on how they were going to kill her. They seemed to have divided themselves into two camps. Some were arguing for expediency, as Dumbledore was sure to show up and rescue her. Others wanted a slow and grisly death that would send a strong message to the presumptuous and disrespectful humans. This latter group expounded with such impressive eloquence on the subject of lingering agonies and horrifying torments that Severus tore himself away with some reluctance to continue his search.

He covered that part of the Forest that realistically, or even unrealistically, could be penetrated by teenagers on foot, but found no sign of any humans, just numerous large trees snapped like twigs and splashes of blood that was not human. He followed a trail of broken trees for a few miles, thinking that perhaps the creature that broke the trees had gathered up and carried off all the students, but that idea made less sense with every step he took. Other than a few trampled clearings, there was only one swath of destruction, suggesting to him that there was only one giant creature. Surely it couldn't have borne off all six students without leaving a trace, especially since four of them definitely had their wands and entered the Forest a fair interval after the first two.

He stopped in his tracks. A large oak lay directly across the path, numerous Bowtruckles skittering up and down the freshly-scarred trunk in agitation. Above and behind him, in the trees that were not broken, Acromantula were beginning to stalk him in increasing numbers. They were keeping a respectful distance, knowing him from his venom-gathering expeditions, but they would become bolder the farther he went. He looked about but did not have to look up. The twilight was casting many long-legged shadows on the ground. The trees were darkening and drooping under the weight of many eight-legged shapes. Time to turn for home.

Back at the castle, he found an uproar in the Entrance Hall. In the centre of the hubbub was Albus Dumbledore, greeting the students as if he were an old friend returning from a holiday abroad.

Dumbledore caught his eye, but quickly looked away. "Professor Snape," he said, beckoning him closer but keeping his gaze on the students milling about him. "The Ministry has seen fit to restore me to my position here." He spoke resoundingly and a cheer went up from all the students except for a few battered-looking Slytherins loitering by a wall, their arms folded, their expressions stony.

"I need to inform Dolores Umbridge," Albus continued. He addressed the unhappy Slytherins. "Where is she?"

"Being rendered limb from limb by the centaurs, I should hope," said Severus, glaring at his Slytherins, who could not meet his gaze. The other students laughed, and Severus turned to Albus, smirking slightly.

Then Albus, still smiling a gentle welcome, threw an arm around Severus' shoulders in a matey sort of way. But his grip on the younger man's shoulders was painful. He looked sharply at the Headmaster and nearly reeled at the combination of shock, anger, grief, remorse, and a strange wildness, of a sort common to much younger men, in the old man's eyes.

"I need to have a word with Professor Snape," said Albus, and lead him into a small room off the Entrance Hall. Scant moments later, students watched, puzzled, as Dumbledore emerged from the small room alone. Upon his arrival, Severus spat the gum on the floor of the lobby at St. Mungo's and Vanished it with a wave of his wand before approaching the WelcomeWitch.