A Likely Story

Snape swept through Knockturn Alley, ignoring Tonks' panting pleas to slow down.

"You know where we're going," he retorted over his shoulder before picking up his pace. "And you're supposed to say behind me anyway."

The motley denizens of Knockturn Alley stepped out from the shadows when they heard the footsteps of the two approaching. They retreated just as quickly when they saw the tall, scowling wizard in black, though they whispered in curiosity at the sight of his companion. Over the years, the tall wizard in black had been occasionally followed by Aurors, but they were usually burly older men, seasoned veterans of the first war of the sort who used Unforgivables after they were permitted. Maybe even before.

The Ministry had never sent a pink-haired woman Auror in her twenties, looking like she was barely out of training, to trail Snape.

That morning, Tonks thought she awoke slightly after he did. She was fast asleep until a silky voice whispered, "I need my chair back," and she woke with a start to find him standing over her, his large nose about six inches from her face, black eyes peering at her intensely. She felt that moment of disorientation when one awakens in a strange place with a strange man, who was looking at her with a bemused expression. Why wasn't he angry?

"So this is your 'real' face," he said, and smirked.

She covered her face in horror. Whatever morph she assumed during the day would gradually reverse while she was sleeping, leaving her with the features she was born with by morning. Whenever she was not waking up alone, she would set a Chronos charm, waking her early and quietly, in order to leave enough time to change her face before the other person awoke.

No-one had seen her natural features in years. Including herself. Every morning since she was ten years old, she morphed before her feet touched the floor. None of her roommates or housemates at Hogwarts or since were ever the wiser.

She lowered her hands, revealing the familiar pale, heart-shaped face with dark, twinkling eyes. She ran her hands through her hair, now a short and spiky apple-green.

Snape frowned. "There are many who would envy your ability to avoid looking like a despised relative."

"I like this face," she protested, transfiguring the cot back into a chair and the blanket back into her robe, and silently cursing her carelessness. Of all the people to see her real face, it had to be someone who knew the person whose resemblance to her she so deplored.

Snape swept across the room a little stiffly and began unwarding the door. "After twelve years in Azkaban, she doesn't look much like you any more."

Feeling a little defensive, she walked up behind him and said, "Uncle Lucius says you fancy her."

The door opened. He turned to her, smirking slightly. "I once made the mistake of saying she was the prettiest of the Black sisters. Which doesn't make her any less the psychopathic bitch she has always been. 'Uncle' Lucius likes to try and embarrass me. He expects people who have less money than he does to be as groveling as a house elf in his presence. Especially if they are graceless enough to be smarter than he is." He then proceeded swiftly down the dungeon corridor, though his pace was mercifully slower than yesterday.

"How's your..."

He stopped and held up a hand. "Do not speak of it." He resumed his pace. "The Headmaster has invited you to breakfast at the High Table. You can have Hagrid's seat, as he's eating in his hut this morning. One of his creatures has a cold, or something. He came by the office this morning looking for sulphuric acid and an eye dropper to feed with."

So he had been up and about for a while before waking her.

"You're not angry about...my presence in..."

He stopped abruptly. Though there was unlikely to be anybody around in the dungeon corridor before breakfast, he erected a Silencing Charm. "If you'd Flooed out, I'd be spending breakfast being interrogated by the Hogwarts High Inquisitor. And if you'd tried breaking through my wards, you'd be spending breakfast in the hospital wing. Assuming we found you quickly enough. However..." He paused and looked at his feet. "You understand how I must avoid the appearance of...personal attachments. For your safety, we must avoid these sorts of circumstances in the future." He terminated the Silencing Charm and continued down the corridor, even faster this time.

As promised, she ate at the High Table, though she had to transfigure Hagrid's stool into a proper chair so that her chin wasn't resting on the table. Her biggest worry was that some of the Gryffindor students would do something stupid like wave to her, or call a greeting. But the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione just looked momentarily surprised, and smiled. And their looks of surprise blended in with those of the rest of the student body, who started murmuring at the appearance of this green-haired woman who trailed Snape into the Great Hall, and obviously severely pissed him off somehow. True to form, he was either ignoring her, tearing into his breakfast as if he were venting his rage on his eggs in a gory splattering of yolk, or shooting her furious looks, his thin face twisted with rage. He might be over-doing it a little, she thought. Even a few of the Slytherins were giving her looks of sympathy.

As they had agreed, she left the table first, throwing down her cutlery and rushing from the Hall, blotchy-faced, her food half-eaten. She could hear some of the Slytherins sniggering in her wake, and suppressed a chuckle.

Even half a Hogwarts breakfast was far more food than she normally ate in the morning anyway, and she was soon regretting it after they met outside the castle gates and Apparated to London. Snape's breakfast seemed to have restored him completely, and Tonks was even feeling a bit queasy, almost having to run down Knockturn Alley in order to keep up with him as they entered Ivy's Poison Plants, Seeds, and Spores. She entered the shop slightly after Snape to keep up the appearance of following him and stayed behind the billows of his cloak, effectively masking her from the view of the person behind the counter.

The owner, Ivy Innis, was a plump, middle-aged witch dressed in bright, floral-patterned robes with glasses on a chain around her neck. She glanced up when she saw Snape enter and removed a plant from the counter, setting it down somewhere out of sight before removing dragonhide gloves and greeting the Potions master with a bright, false smile as he approached the counter.

"Professor Snape," she said ingratiatingly. "We are still waiting for the enchanted Peganum Harmala seeds. Our supplier attempted to blame Muggle security at the Syrian end." She laughed nervously. "I already expressed displeasure on your behalf. I told him what you said last year, about Muggle politics being no excuse for failures in the supply chain of magical..." Her smile slid off her face at the expression on his.

He was smiling in a friendly sort of way. "Why do you persist in presuming to know what I want?" he asked lazily.

Mrs Innis seemed familiar with this smile. She gulped. "I...I didn't mean..."

In a slightly bored tone, he continued, "How many times do I have to tell you not to speak for me in these tedious disputes you have with your various suppliers?"

She was worrying the chain holding her glasses. "My...apologies..."

"Instead of the supplies I require, you provide me with excuses and these elaborate explanations in which you have evoked my name to people I have never met. I only came here today to add some Datura stramonium to my order. But maybe this simple request would be too complicated for you."

Flustered, she almost dropped her glasses and she fumbled to put them on, and retrieved a quill. "How...how much do you require?"

He leaned over the counter to peer down his long nose at her. He was considerably taller than her, and she shrank further under his scrutiny. "You mean...you don't already know?" he hissed. "But you presume to know so much, perhaps you fancy yourself a Seer. Perhaps I could presume to find better jimsonweed by the side of a motorway."

And he continued in a similar vein as Tonks wandered amongst the plants. She found some innocuous-looking Devil's Snare seedlings between the decorative poison sumac and some nasty-looking shrubbery with large fleshy blue leaves and two-inch-long thorns oozing what she hoped was red-coloured sap.

"Don't remember seeing those in the Hogwarts greenhouses," she remarked to herself as she set to work. She managed to Accio tiny cuttings from each Devil's Snare seedling without touching the thorn plants before Mrs Innis noticed her.

"May I help you?" called Mrs Innis, glancing at Tonks' Auror robes. Beside her, Snape was bent over, writing in an enormous book, his nose barely above the page.

"Yes," said Tonks, flashing her badge. "Auror Tonks from Magical Law Enforcement. When I purchase some venomous tentacula seeds from you, I need you to show me the whole procedure from start to finish."

"Yes, well..." Mrs Innis edged slightly away from Snape. "They're Category IV Restricted, so only a Potions master, an apothecary, or someone from Magical Law Enforcement can purchase them, and you've already shown me your identification. You just need to tell me how much, and I need you to sign...the register." She nodded in the direction of the large book and the Potions master writing in it.

Snape straightened, wincing almost imperceptibly, to find the two women looking at him. Glancing dismissively at Mrs Innis, he turned his attention to the young Auror. "Miss Tonks. Still striking terror into the hearts of dark wizards everywhere? Who are terrified you might trip on them, I daresay."

Tonks lifted her chin. "You would know more about the hearts of dark wizards than I, Professor." She emphasized the last word, sneering slightly.

Snape returned her sneer. "You certainly have a lot more courage when you have the authority of the Ministry behind you, Auror Tonks. But unless you are here to arrest me, I must be off." And he flung a quill down on the register and stalked out, slamming the door without magic.

Tonks was left with the dilemma of following through on the charade and somehow catching up with Snape. She hastily made a purchase, signed the register, and left the shop as quickly as she could without running. Snape was barely half a block away, standing on the corner of Knockturn and Diagon Alley, reading the Daily Prophet while passersby gave him a wide berth.

"A pound of venomous tentacula seeds?" he snorted as she recounted the tale of her hasty purchase while he folded the paper. "That should do Hogwarts for the next thousand years. You do realize that as magical epiphytes, venomous tentaculas live virtually on air? And have the lifespan of large trees? I could talk to Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and see if they want to make a trade, but they'd probably laugh me off the continent." Despite his uncharacteristically mild and conversational tone, he was scowling fiercely at her as he spoke. She glared back, noticing with her peripheral vision the sympathetic glances of passersby. Pitying the poor Auror who got stuck questioning Snape, she thought, carefully hiding her amusement.

"I said, did you touch any of the Weeping Hyacinths?" he asked sharply. "Your marks in Potions would have been much higher if ever you learned to just pay attention."

"Did I touch the what? Oh, do you mean those hideous thorn plants? No, I was careful not to touch them. Seemed like a bad idea."

"Are you sure? There's still time to give you the antidote. Otherwise, I'll have to waste even more time with you today, taking you to St. Mungo's."

She shook her head emphatically. "Didn't go near them." They looked like something You-Know-Who would give to his Death Eaters for Christmas, she thought.

He was peering closely at her. "Indeed," he said, and she could have sworn that his fierce scowl briefly gave way to a flash of amusement. "If you start to experience blue fungoid growths on your extremities, don't pass it off as a morph gone awry."

"I'll keep that in mind." She lowered her voice to an undertone. "It's still about an hour until the meeting. Molly invited us to lunch..."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't be absurd," he hissed, his expression again entirely fierce. Taking a step away from her, he Disapparated.

Taking out her wand, she followed his example--if not his location. Where could he go? He didn't have time to return to Hogwarts. By the time he walked from the border of the anti-Apparation wards to the castle, he'd have to turn around and walk right back. Even at his pace.

She speculated out loud to Molly when she arrived at the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. "Maybe he goes to Knockturn Alley and has lunch somewhere there. He seems at home there," she mused. Most wizards wouldn't admit to fear in Knockturn Alley, but they were at least wary. Snape's aplomb bordered on casual. He stalked down the alley with as much confidence as if it were a hallway in the Hogwarts dungeons.

"Let me help you with that, Molly." Together they began to set the table.

"He's probably tucking into a pint of AB negative as we speak," said Sirius, entering the kitchen closely followed by Remus.

"Sirius!" chastised Molly.

Remus smiled wanly at her. "How was it today?"

"It was fine. He's not so bad, really."

Sirius snorted.

"Really!" insisted Tonks. "He was a bit...terse, but otherwise completely professional. The operation took half the time it would have if I were alone. It was like working with another Auror."

"I doubt he would think much of that comparison," said Remus wryly.

"Never mind this morning!" exclaimed Sirius. "What about last night? I thought we were on for chess."

"Sirius, I'm sorry. It's just that...well...I sort of got trapped in Severus' rooms last night and..."

"You WHAT??" screamed Sirius. Remus chuckled. "This isn't funny, Moony." He turned back to Tonks. "Why didn't you Floo out?"

"Albus said, only in emergencies..."

"What would you call getting trapped in Snape's rooms?"

"Really, Padfoot. What's the worst that could happen? She's a fully-trained Auror," said Remus, grinning.

"And he's a fully-trained Death Eater, on top of being Snape. At the very least, we should check her neck for puncture marks."

"Very amusing, Black," said a silky voice from the doorway. Snape entered with his usual soundless tread and set a Galleon on the kitchen counter. He tapped it with his wand, and the Galleon transformed and expanded to reveal a smoking cauldron.

"Thanks, again, Severus," said Remus. "Full moon tomorrow," he explained.

Sirius slid his chair away from the table, rose to his feet, and padded across the room to stand within a couple of feet from the Potions master, fixing him with a glare. "So, Snape..."

Snape interrupted, "I didn't bring anything for you. If you'd said something, I could have stopped at the Magical Menagerie for some Canine Crunchies."

With unusual grace for her, Tonks also stood and positioned herself close to Snape and Sirius. Sirius glared at her, and she just smiled and folded her arms.

Snape sneered at her. "That's not necessary," he hissed.

"I'm sure it isn't," she replied mildly, not budging.

Sirius turned back to Snape. "So, Snivellus. Tonks was just telling us that she got trapped in your rooms last night. Perfectly understandable. After all, it's the only way you can get women these days, isn't it? Now that you can't use Imperius anymore, that is."

Tonks and Remus both reached for their wands, but Snape merely smirked. "So women were throwing themselves at you in Azkaban, were they, Black? You seem to have a taste for cousins. Tell me, how was Bellatrix?"

"We have to stop this," implored Molly in a whisper to Tonks and Remus.

Tonks placed a finger to her lips and whispered back, "Albus says, let them go at each other as long as they're just talking."

Molly replied, "I wouldn't turn my back on them, if I were you."

Tonks smiled. "Albus said that, too."

"You would know more about Bellatrix than me," snarled Sirius.

Snape smirked more widely. "True," he conceded. "But I think she would have preferred you."

Sirius narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Snape continued, "After all, I am not capable of sexual activity in the physical form of another species." He nodded to Tonks, Remus, and Molly. "I'll be in the library." And he left the kitchen.

Remus and Tonks restrained an enraged Sirius. "How dare he..." he sputtered. "How did a Death Eater get to walk free, while I..."

"Have a plate," said Molly. "I have had seven children taught by that man, and I can tell you, the more you let him get to you, the worse he'll get."

"She's right," said Remus, who had fetched a coffee mug and poured himself a mugful of potion. "When I worked with him, I ignored his taunts and eventually he got bored and left me more or less alone."

"Yes, Remus has the right idea. Always so polite and courteous. You set such a good example for the children."

Remus smiled. "Thank you, Molly. But to be fair here, I don't think Snape is going to just leave it alone if Sirius is polite to him."

Visibly much calmer, Sirius said, "Yes. The man holds grudges forever."

Tonks said, "Maybe that's because you expect him to."

Sirius shook his head. "I should think trying to get me kissed by a Dementor makes us even."

Molly lifted a large tray to the table. "Here's some bread and cheese and cold meat. I thought we'd make our own sandwiches today. That way, everybody get what they want. Whoops, I forgot the spreads."

"No you didn't, Molly; I've got them," said Remus. "Who wants butterbeer, besides me?"

"Does that mix with your potion?" asked Molly.

"I hope so," replied Remus. At her expression, he said, "Yes, it's fine."

"Are you sure you can't mix sugar with it?" asked Sirius. "I wouldn't take that bastard's word for it, if I were you." He assembled himself a thick sandwich, with multiple layers of cheese and meat and a third slice of bread in the middle. "Speaking of him, Tonks, it almost sounds like you're starting to get along with the git."

"I don't think all this name-calling helps matters," said Molly reprovingly.

"Ron Weasley would approve of that sandwich," said Remus, looking up from the slices of bread upon which he was spreading mayonnaise to admire Sirius' triple-decker sandwich. "And yes, sugar really does make Wolfsbane Potion worthless. I asked the Beauxbatons Potions mistress when Albus sent me to France to talk to her. She also said that butterbeer was fine, though French wines were better."

Tonks said, "If I'm working with him, I should try and get along with him. Whether or not he reciprocates is up to him. But on my part, it's only professional."

Sirius said, "As long as that's all it is." He lifted his sandwich and opened his mouth as if to take a bite, but instead set it back down again. "I may have overdone it. This bread is thick."

"Your Snuffles mouth could get around it," said Remus.

Sirius removed the slice of bread from the middle of the sandwich. "I always turned into a dog at mealtimes in Azkaban. The food there was inedible, but dogs can eat anything." He bit into his sandwich.

"The food is also punishment," said Tonks. "They give them this thin, slimy sort of gruel fortified with vitamins."

Sirius shuddered. "Don't remind me; it was like distilled essence of Dementer. I'll never be a dog at mealtimes again unless it's a matter of life or death." He took a large bite of his now-thinner sandwich.

"Considering how your dog form made Azkaban easier for you, and even helped you be the first to ever escape, it's as if you were the only Animagus ever incarcerated," Molly remarked.

"Yes, I'd always wondered about that lapse in security," said Tonks.

Sirius shook his head. "That lapse in security took many years to appear."

They all ate in silence for several minutes. Remus alternated sips of his potion with swigs of butterbeer.

Even eating the extra slice of bread he had removed from his sandwich, Sirius finished first. Butterbeer in hand, he leaned back in his chair. "So Moony, tell me about this Beauxbatons Potions mistress. What's she like?"

Remus drained the last of his potion, shuddering slightly. "Well, she apprenticed with Jean-Francois Dochon. You know; the inventor of the Wolfsbane Potion." He tapped the mug with a fingernail.

Sirius grinned. "I'm not asking about her professional qualifications, Moony."

Molly said, "She's about thirty years old. And she's single. And she can speak English."

Sirius grinned and said, "So...she's French, young, single, and she knows how to make Wolfsbane? Who cares if she can speak English?"

Remus held up his hands. "Look, I only talked to her because she might be joining the Order," he protested.

"In my experience, it's better if you don't have a language in common," continued Sirius. "Simplifies things."

"When do we get to meet her?" said Tonks.

Remus shrugged. "Albus has been talking to her since the Triwizard Tournament. She had fought hard to get Fleur included in the Beauxbatons delegation. There was a lot of opposition to Fleur, because she's part Veela. Some thought that a 'half-breed' was not an appropriate representative of Beauxbatons."

Molly said, "So when Fleur was selected by the Goblet of Fire, it was a validation of her beliefs." She looked up from her tea to find Tonks, Remus, and Sirius staring at her. "Didn't I mention this? We had her over for dinner at the Burrow a couple of weeks ago. She came from France with Fleur. A rather earnest and serious girl, and kind of shy."

"And she has to deal with Snape, the poor woman," muttered Sirius.

"How's that?" asked Tonks.

Molly answered, "The more valuable Potions ingredients are stocked by goblin wholesalers. They offer volume discounts, so traditionally, each year, the Hogwarts and Beauxbatons Potions teachers buy these ingredients together, and divide them up. She says she lets Snape do all the talking, because he's better at driving a hard bargain."

"I don't doubt it," said Remus.

Molly continued, "Bill asked her how she tolerates Snape. And she said, when he gets cranky, she just pretends she doesn't understand English. Drives him mad, she says."

"I don't think that would work for us, Padfoot," said Remus.

Sirius turned to Tonks. "What did happen last night?"

"Not much," she said. "After he got Summoned..."

"He was Summoned?" gasped Molly.

"Yes. No matter how many times that happens, I'll never get used to it." Tonks shuddered. "So, he had bought a lot of Potions ingredients, and asked if I would take them back to Hogwarts. I did, and then waited around to see if he made it back."

"Was he hurt?" asked Molly.

Tonks sipped at her tea, giving herself a moment to think about what to reveal. "Not this time," she said. "When he returned, I went with Albus to Severus' rooms to tell him I had safely brought back all his purchases. It was very late at this point, and then Albus left, and Severus abruptly went off to bed, and I was stuck in his sitting room. I should mention, Albus had warned me, just because I'm an Auror, I shouldn't think I can get past Severus' wards. For the past few years, he's been using these wards originally developed by Gringotts goblins. Earlier I had asked Severus about them, and he said, go ahead and try. As an Auror, he said, surely I could tolerate twelve hours in the presence of a decomposing basilisk in a quasi-splinched state."

Molly said, "You made the right decision."

"Maybe you could have Flooed to a different part of the castle," mused Sirius. "Surely it wouldn't have attracted as much attention as an external Floo."

Remus shook his head. "She would have had to answer to Dolores."

Tonks said, "Well, I had a great breakfast. They had this Canadian smoked salmon. With bagels and cream cheese."

"Doesn't sound like the traditional English breakfast they used to serve us," said Molly.

"No, thank Merlin."

"Wait a minute," said Sirius, frowning and turning back to Tonks. "Why would he go to bed without making sure you left first?"

Molly looked puzzled, but Remus was smiling slightly. "Padfoot, he was probably very tired after being Summoned. So he let his guard down a bit. She may be an Auror, but she's in the Order after all. Dumbledore trusts her, too."

"Still, considering how fiercely protective he is of his privacy, it is odd." said Molly. "That man won't even eat in front of other people. Even if they are in the Order."

"Erm..." Tonks was wracking her brains for an explanation that she would be willing to share, and couldn't find one, instead finding herself oddly protective of the Potions master's privacy.

They looked up as the kitchen door opened, and Snape swept in, his eyes narrowing at the sight of Sirius, who sneered slightly, and looked away. Snape retreated to the far side of the kitchen and conjured himself a wooden stool upon which to sit. He was followed closely by Dumbledore and other members of the Order, who spread throughout the kitchen, conjuring chairs as needed.