A Thousand Words

Chapter 27: The Prison of His Mind

'My God, Lydig, can you take any longer?'

'Lydig is nearly finished, Master!' Lydig panted as he scurried past Draco, who was leaning against the wall and watching his house-elf clean the sitting room up.

'Good,' Draco snapped, 'because she's almost here.'

Sure enough, barely ten seconds after Lydig had cleared away the last of the balls of crumpled parchment littering the now-clean carpet, the dying flames in the fireplace turned emerald-green and flared up. Moments later, Hermione stepped out of the fire, dusting ashes off her robes as she ducked under the mantelpiece.

'Hi,' she said, smiling uncertainly at Draco. She glanced around the room, and a surprised expression appeared on her face. 'Wow, you really did a great job cleaning up.'

'Uh,' said Draco, clearing his throat. 'It, uh, wasn't me who did it.'

Hermione frowned. It seemed to take her a moment to understand the implications of Draco's reply, but when she did, her frown deepened disapprovingly. 'You made Lydig slave away at it didn't you?' she accused.

'You don't have a problem with that, do you?' Draco asked with raised eyebrows. He crossed the room to his sofa, sat down, and smirked up at Hermione. 'Are you going to refuse to sit down now? In case you hadn't noticed, you're already standing on the carpet, so you might as well give it up, Granger.'

Hermione sniffed disdainfully, but she reluctantly sat down next to Draco. He watched as she clasped then unclasped her hands. Her discomfort was so painfully evident that he almost felt it.

Sure that Hermione was remembering their last encounter in his house, Draco decided to break the silence before she brought the incident up. 'The potion should be done in a week's time.'

'Oh, good.' She sounded relieved. 'Have you talked to Kingsley about pursuing Lawley yourself yet?'

Draco started. 'Damnit,' he swore. He had forgotten to bring it up. 'Sorry,' he added sheepishly, 'I forgot.'

Hermione smiled. 'It's okay. I forgot too.'

'That's unlike you,' said Draco, somewhat surprised. 'Have you at least talked to the Werewolf Capture Unit?'

'No,' said Hermione. In the dim light, Draco could see she was blushing. 'I've just had a lot on my mind. I'm sorry.'

'Like what?' said Draco, interested against his own will.

'Nothing you'd care to know,' she replied, shrugging. She arched an eyebrow. 'Although you should know, as you've gotten quite good at stalking me by now.'

'Oh, please, that's gotten old,' Draco drawled. Still, he was curious to know what Hermione had been dealing with the past few days. He knew she'd only been into the office once, so it couldn't have been work. 'If you don't want to tell me, fine...I'm not too keen about your daily business anyway, especially if it involves Weasley...'

'Actually it does.' She cleared her throat. 'We're getting married.'

Draco nearly choked on his own spittle. For a moment, he was annoyed. Why? Why had Hermione accepted the proposal? She could do much better than Ron. Not that it's of any matter to me, he reminded himself.

'Like I said, I don't care,' he said coldly. The hurt look that flashed across Hermione's face gave him a sense of inner satisfaction. That's right, he thought savagely, go on and cry about it.

'Since it seems you're so determined to ruin this for me,' she said bitterly, 'it might interest you to know that I don't think I'm quite as happy as I should be.'

'Really?' said Draco, trying to sound bored. 'Well, I'm not a marriage counsellor, so I'm afraid I can't give you any advice.'

Hermione laughed weakly. 'Who am I kidding?' she muttered, looking down at her hands. 'You're the last person on Earth I should be talking about this with.'

'Indeed.'

Draco's stomach churned with guilt. It wasn't his place to be making Hermione feel worse; after all, just because he was alone and friendless didn't necessarily mean it was her fault. Not entirely friendless, he corrected himself. There's still Starlight.

But Starlight wanted to leave him too, didn't she? Draco had known when she spoke of taking off their facades that she secretly yearned to and only said otherwise for his sake, so he'd written the letter telling her he agreed - even though he didn't.

Enough of that. Keep your mind focused on the current matter, he scolded himself.

Hermione didn't seem to have noticed that her partner's attention was elsewhere. She was eagerly explaining the research she had done on the creation of the original Wolfsbane Potion and how the information she had gathered would benefit Draco's version.

'...so you see, you've just been approaching it with the wrong viewpoint. It's less of a sedative than a purgative, isn't it? And the physical attributes aren't the defining points of the transformation; you've got to concentrate on getting rid of the curse and the mindset it instils first.'

'Mhm,' Draco murmured distractedly. She really is quite bossy when she gets involved in someone else's business, he thought irritably. Still, he was grateful for the extra help. Severus would have wanted him to put the potion to use somehow, and there wasn't any better time than the present to do so.

'Mind if we go down and get started?' she asked inquisitively.

'Keep your hair on and let me relax for a second before you drag me down there,' Draco muttered, rolling his eyes. 'Honestly, Granger, this isn't even any of your concern.'

'It is now that it's a part of our case,' she said brightly. Draco could tell she was trying to put the topic of her recent engagement out of their minds. 'So what do you say?'

'Fine,' Draco intoned, making sure to drag the syllable out extra long. He made a big fuss out of standing up. 'Follow me,' he sighed.

As they proceeded down the poorly lit hallway, Hermione spoke up again.

'You know,' she said conversationally, 'it's really nice of you to clean up your sitting room for me.'

Draco stopped to gaze at her in astonishment. 'Who said it was for you?'

But Hermione simply smiled at him and continued on. 'Which doorway is it?'

Embarrassed and annoyed by Hermione's acuity, Draco picked up his pace again and sullenly led the way to the kitchen. There, they descended the stairs leading down to the basement.

'I added some Ashwinder eggs last night to keep it temporarily preserved in its current state for you,' he explained as they approached the cauldron at the end of the large room.

Hermione nodded approvingly. 'Good thinking,' she said with a great yawn. 'Sorry,' she added. 'I didn't get much sleep last night.'

'Likewise,' said Draco, surprised that he could actually empathise with Hermione on something. 'I, uh, had a lot on my mind too.'

Hermione carefully shrugged on a lab coat, saying, 'I'd ask you to elaborate, but I doubt you'd give me an adequate answer.'

'You know me too well,' said Draco sarcastically.

'It's my job. After all, I am your stalker.'

A laugh rose in Draco's throat, but he quickly clamped his lips together to keep it from escaping. It wasn't that funny, he thought irately.

'I'm going to go check on the Sleeping Draught,' he said awkwardly.

'Wait,' said Hermione, grabbing Draco's left forearm. 'I need you to -'

'Let go of me,' Draco hissed, tearing his wrist out of Hermione's hand. He tugged the sleeve of his robe down forcibly. 'Don't touch this arm. Or any part of me, for that matter.'

A look of understanding dawned upon Hermione's otherwise stunned features. 'Oh,' she said simply. 'The...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just...you're not...I forgot.'

'Apparently you're the only one who has,' Draco muttered bitterly, clutching his arm tightly to his chest. He took a deep breath to steady his fired-up nerves. 'What do you need?'

Hermione shook her head. 'Forget it. I was just going to ask you where you keep your scales.' She hesitated. 'Malfoy, why are you so protective of your past?'

'Because it's none of your business,' he said bluntly, leaning over a cauldron and pretending to check its contents. Instead, he had tentatively inched the left sleeve of his robe up to check on the Dark Mark. By now, it had faded to an ashen, greyish-brown colour, but it was still prominent against his white skin.

'My point exactly,' said Hermione pompously. 'You needn't act as if you're the only one who can bear the burden of your mistakes. Other people can help you forget.'

Draco wordlessly gazed at his own wavering reflection on the surface of the light blue potion. Stupid Granger and her stupid nosy questions...

'Isn't there another life you can interfere with?' he finally said out loud, straightening up and glaring at her. 'You're only here to help me solve the Malkin case. Getting personal wasn't part of the deal.'

Hermione shrugged. 'I suppose not,' she said quietly.

She turned around and busied herself with preparing a mixture of ingredients in a small flask. Draco watched her back, wondering why she was so interested in him. Had Ron ordered her to snoop around? Or was she just genuinely curious?

'Either way, it's annoying,' he grumbled under his breath.

'What's that?' said Hermione as she swirled the concoction in the flask about in the light.

'Nothing.'

Draco watched as Hermione carefully let three drops of the bright blue liquid fall into the bubbling potion. A puff of smoke rose out of the cauldron and then quickly dissipated.

Hermione yawned again as she put the flask down on the table. 'S-s-sorry,' she said again, smiling sheepishly over her shoulder at Draco. 'I can barely keep my eyes open.'

'You can rest for a bit if you want,' Draco suggested, determined to be nicer after his earlier outburst. 'I've got an empty guestroom; Lydig will prepare the bed for you.'

'Oh no, I couldn't. I came here to help you.'

'No, go ahead,' Draco insisted. At least I'll finally be rid of your incessant prying, he added silently. 'I'll, uh, finish up down here. Maybe test some of the theories you conceived. If I get anywhere, I'll let you know.'

'Are you sure?' said Hermione, sounding concerned. She blinked, and then laughed. 'Oh, I get it. You want me out of here, don't you?'

'And I thought I was hiding it well...'

'Don't give yourself too much credit,' Hermione said lightly, before taking her lab coat off and tossing it at Draco. He caught it just in time. 'But since you were kind enough to offer, I think I'll go on up and catch a wink of sleep. Although,' she added, pressing her index finger to her lips in mock contemplation, 'you do know you'll have to scrub all the filth off your sheets once I leave.'

'That's why I didn't tell you to go to my bedroom,' Draco retorted.

Hermione clucked her tongue. 'You'll wake me up as soon as you make any progress, right?'

'Yes,' said Draco, avoiding her eyes. 'Yes, just go. It'll be a bigger mess to clean up if you drift off and fall into one of these cauldrons.'

'It's nice to know you're putting my safety first,' Hermione quipped, rolling her eyes.

She turned and left the room. When she had disappeared up the staircase, Draco sighed and stared gloomily at the sparse notes she had scribbled down beneath his own.

Over the past few days, his desire to complete this tedious task had grown increasingly weaker. What had began as the exciting prospect of changing the wizarding world forever now felt like a hopelessly dull homework assignment for Potions class - he didn't want to do it, and yet he knew that he was obligated to.

In truth, he had not paid one bit of attention to Hermione's ramblings earlier, so he had no idea where to begin. For a fleeting moment, he regretted sending her upstairs. If she found out later that he hadn't done anything while she was asleep...

I just don't want to disappoint her, he realised, marvelling at his own feelings. After all, even though she may not know it herself, Granger really has done a lot for me since we started working together.

He remembered what Starlight had said at their last meeting. She was jealous - jealous of Hermione. Why, though?

No, it didn't matter why. Once Saturday arrived, it would all be over anyway. The next five days - that was all the time he had left with Starlight.

Something inside his chest tightened painfully, and he doubled over, pressing his palms against his throbbing temples. He swore out loud. What was happening to him? He'd never been affected by the loss of someone close to him; even when he'd watched his own father die before his eyes, he'd felt nothing but a cold indifference. Then again, had he ever really even had a close friend before?

And Hermione. Like Starlight, she had thrown Draco into a multitude of troublesome situations. Why did she have to be so open about herself? It had all been a trap, and he had fallen for it. He'd let her into his house, told her about the scars, showed her the potions, and now...now all he could do was think about her and care about her life because she had cared about his.

'They're just like each other,' Draco spat out bitterly, digging his nails into the wooden surface of the table. Splinters of wood dug until his fingertips, eliciting tiny droplets of blood. 'My God, I'm pathetic, falling for their dodges.'

He sighed, pulling his hand away and gloomily examining the pinprick-sized wounds in his skin. Granger is getting married, he reminded himself, ignoring the fresh burst of rage that followed the thought. She's off-limits.

He laughed. 'Imagine that,' he mused, his lips twisting into a slight sneer. 'I actually have to force myself to keep away from her. How the times have changed...'

Standing up, Draco extinguished the fire burning beneath the cauldron of Wolfsbane II Potion with a wave of his wand. Time to go wake Sleeping Beauty up and tell her to leave.

Lydig was tending to the fire beneath the stove when Draco entered the kitchen. He looked up and hastened to bend over into a deep bow when he saw his master.

'Master needn't trouble himself with waking Miss Granger,' he squealed, anxiously twisting the soiled black garment he wore between his long, spindly fingers. 'Lydig shall be glad to take care of it.'

'No need,' said Draco, walking by the house-elf without so much as a glance in his direction, 'I'll do it myself.'

'Very well, sir,' murmured Lydig, bowing again.

Draco proceeded down the hallway to the guestroom slowly. His thoughts were flashing back and forth between Starlight and Hermione so rapidly that he was sure a headache was starting to develop. Gritting his teeth, he brushed the loose strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes away and pushed open the door on his right.

The room was entirely dark, so Draco took one of the candles affixed to the walls of the hallway before entering. The faint glow of the flame preceded Draco as he walked over to the bed, allowing him to dimly make out Hermione's slumbering form.

Draco sat down at the end of the bed carefully, noting, as he did so, that Hermione had not opted to use the sheets. With a heavy sigh, he studied her sleeping image - the steady rise and fall of her shoulders, the sound of her peaceful, untroubled breathing, the almost indiscernible flickering of her eyelids as she slept on. It was all very fascinating.

The longer Draco sat there and observed Hermione, the more he became aware of an unfamiliar sensation spreading throughout his body. He felt relaxed and unguarded for the first time in a long time. Perhaps it was due in part to the warmth emanating from the candle, but something about being in Hermione's presence was comforting.

His gaze softened as he brought the candle closer to her face, though not close enough to wake her up. She was by no means beautiful, but nevertheless, he felt a strange attraction to her. It was...it was the air of absolute purity that surrounded her. She was whole and untainted, while he was just the opposite: tarnished, cold, incomplete...

She often spoke of darkness and her knowledge of the horrors it contained, but she knew nothing; Draco was sure of it. Someone like her couldn't possibly be attuned to true evil.

'I'm sorry...'

Draco jumped, startled out of his thoughts by Hermione's unexpected voice. She had shifted over on the bed and seemed to be in the midst of a troubling dream, for her hands were clutching the sheets beneath her tightly, and her face was screwed into an expression of agony.

'I'm so sorry...' she murmured again, 'I just can't...I can't do this to him...'

Unsure as to whether he should do something, Draco cautiously edged closer to Hermione. What could she possibly be dreaming of that would cause her so much pain?

'Shadow...'

Draco froze.

A split second later, the flame atop the candle spluttered loudly and disappeared in a spiral of smoke. The room was instantly shrouded in darkness once more.

Then again, it didn't matter whether Draco could see or not, because despite the pounding of his heart in his ears, there was no mistaking what he had just heard, no ignoring the significance of the glaring evidence any longer.

Shadow. She knew Shadow. Which meant...

Hermione and Starlight were one and the same.