Attack of the Preppy Cheerleaders

Chapter Five: A New Captain

"Ros, Ros, Ros," Lily chided her friend when they were safely back in the common room. Sirius was hiding, and the rest of the Marauders refused to divulge where he was.

Victoria had fainted from what she claimed was the shock at seeing her beloved pom poms blown to bits, and was now resting in the Hospital Wing, but the Anti-Preps knew it was just another ploy to get attention.

"What?" Roslyn asked, nerves stretched to a breaking point. She had already received detention, plus a loss of twenty points from Gryffindor house. She was in no mood to be lectured.

"Didn't I say not blow anything up?" Lily asked. "Even though it was pretty hilarious..." she admitted after a moment.

Roslyn declined comment.

"You know what this means, don't you?" Haleigh asked.

"What?" chorused Lily and Roslyn.

"The cheerleading squad," Haleigh paused for the sake of drama. "Needs a new captain. And what better way for us to plan our next move than to get someone on the inside?"

"Brilliant!" Lily exclaimed, and both girls turned to look at Roslyn.

"No!" she snapped.

"Come on, Ros!" Haleigh coaxed, trying to think of a good argument. She settled for a desperate sounding, "Please?"

To which Lily replied with, "Brilliant argument, Hal," Haleigh glared.

"Wait, why me?" Roslyn demanded.

"Because...er..." Lily shrugged. "All I know is that it can't be me," she grinned. "They won't trust the leader of the Anti-Preps," she added smugly.

Roslyn scowled. "Why can't it be Haleigh, then? Hal, you're blonde! You'd fit in perfectly!"

Haleigh glowered at her. "I told you that the next time you pointed out I have blonde hair, I'd dye it green. Besides, we need some who would stand out," she nodded towards Roslyn's own black tresses.

"If you dyed your hair green you'd stand out!" Roslyn argued.

Haleigh scowled at her. "Ros, this would be the perfect way to get back at Sirius! Don't you - for once - want to solve a problem without using violence?"

"Yes, but this is a problem that I really, really want to solve by using violence," Roslyn whined.

"Ros, forget it. Can you do gymnastics?" Lily interjected.

"Yes, I've taken gymnastics since I was three... why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Because the captain needs to be athletic. And it's plain obvious that all the rest of those girls can do is shout and shake pom poms in every direction," Haleigh answered her.

Roslyn sighed, then glanced towards the rest of the Marauders, who were whispering about something - or someone, more specifically where someone might be hiding.

"Fine," she snapped. "What do you want me to do?"

Lily and Haleigh grinned triumphantly, and Haleigh took out a notebook in which she had carefully charted operation Turn-Ros-Into-A-Bimbo.

***

"Why do you guys sit up in the front row anyway?" Haleigh asked suspiciously.

"Because Sirius sits up here," Remus replied. "And I really don't trust him alone with some of those cheerleaders,"

"Are you sure that's your only reason?" Haleigh asked, still unconvinced.

"It is!" Remus said, trying to look innocent. "And... it... er... provides a better view..." he muttered.

Lily laughed shortly. "Yeah, right. Of what?"

"And why are you guys sitting up here in the front row?" Peter asked, trying to avoid argument.

"Because," Haleigh began her part. "I don't trust him alone with cheerleaders any more than I trust Sirius alone with cheerleaders," At this comment, Remus looked slightly hurt.

But just slightly.

"Lily? What about you?" Peter asked Lily.

"Because I don't trust her," Lily pointed at Haleigh, "not to murder him," she pointed to Remus.

"Wait a minute," Sirius piped up suddenly. "Speaking of murder and not trusting people, where's Ros?"

"Good going, Sirius! You just noticed that your girlfriend is missing?" Haleigh said sarcastically.

"Well? Where is she?" Sirius asked impatiently, scanning the crowd in the bleachers for any sign of his girlfriend, and ignoring the insult.

"Well," said Lily slyly. "That rather has to do with why we're sitting with you guys today. You see, the cheerleaders have a new captain,"

Remus gaped at her. "You don't mean-"

"Oh, look!" Haleigh faked surprise. "Here they come now," she nodded towards the group of cheerleaders coming from the direction of the locker rooms and out onto the field.

They were being led by someone who was definitely not blond, but with the shortest skirt of the bunch, she could've certainly passed for a bimbo.

Sirius gaped, and swore loudly. Roslyn flipped her hair as they passed the Quidditch teams, catching the attention of all male members present. Even James couldn't help himself for a moment, but a glare from Lily across the field seemed to pull him back to his senses. If he'd ever had any, which at the moment seemed doubtful.

As the squad strolled over to the bleachers, Sirius got to his feet, and grabbed Roslyn's arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked her, completely shocked.

"What?" Roslyn asked, faking innocence, which Lily doubted she had ever possessed. "I thought you liked cheerleaders,"

"But... but..." Sirius tried to find some argument to toss in her way.

"Hey, you moon over other people, I can have other people moon over me," she said in a slightly seductive tone with a saucy smile added in for good measure.

"But... but..." Sirius repeated, still at a loss for words.

"Now, if you don't mind," Roslyn continued, pulled her arm free. "I have to go cheer," she turned to walk away, then added over her shoulder. "Keep an eye on me. I'll be the one doing all the flips, splits, and being tossed into the air frequently,"

Then, she left him there, gaping like the idiot that he normally was.

"I'll be watching her," Peter said thoughtfully as she walked away, and he admired her figure.

Remus nodded. "I have to admit, that girl does look good in a skirt... Hal, maybe you should go out for cheerleading..."

Haleigh shook her head and covered his eyes with her hand.

Sirius, meanwhile, was glaring bloody murder at Peter. "I'll have you know that's my girlfriend you're talking about," he snapped.

"You haven't been acting like she's your girlfriend lately," Lily pointed out.

Sirius cracked, and at a loss for insults, simply said, "Shut up, Lily,"

"So," Remus turned to Lily and Haleigh. "Is this your idea of sick, twisted revenge?"

"Yes, of course," Lily replied.

"Some revenge," Peter muttered. His eyes were still fixed on Roslyn, who had started doing some impressive "gymnastics".

"It's mainly revenge on Sirius," Haleigh admitted. She glanced towards Sirius. "And it's working too,"

Indeed, Sirius was still gaping at his "girlfriend" with a look somewhere between horror and longing on his face.

Lily grinned, and then directed her attention upward; toward the Quidditch game that no one else seemed to be watching. None of the male population of Hogwarts, anyway.

Suddenly, a cheer went up through the crowd. "What? What happened? Did they catch the snitch or something?" Sirius asked, bewildered.

"Nope," Peter replied, attention still fixed on the cheerleaders. "But Ros did do a split,"

"Aww, I missed it!" Sirius groaned, but added quickly, "Of course, the game's the most important thing, naturally," And pretended to look skyward, while he was really focusing on Roslyn flying through mid air.