In Which I Learned of Madagascar

A/N:

This is a response to a challenge, which can be found here: http://forums.fictionalley.org/park/showthread.php?s=&postid=1696084. I recommend reading the terms of the challenge before reading the fic; it might be confusing otherwise.

Many thanks to Jas Black, who beta-read this story.

In Which I Learned of Madagascar

The summer after his sixth year, James Potter decided to hold a party. "No, not just a party!" he told Sirius excitedly, practically dancing with joy. "It will be the party of this year! They will talk about it forever! We're going to- Sirius? Hey, Sirius, are you listening?"

Sirius was staring out of the window, his eyes gazing absent-mindedly into the distance.

"Sirius!" James shook his friend.

"What? Oh, yeah, sure. What were you saying, again?" said Sirius distractedly.

"Urgh! You never listen to what I'm saying. Hear me out, Padfoot, will you?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, and tried to concentrate on what his friend had been attempting to tell him. Luckily for him, they were interrupted by a loud 'Pop'. Remus Lupin had just Apparated in the dining room of the Potters' house.

"Moony! So great to see you! Listen, I had this idea..."

*

The date was set - the twenty-first of July. The invitations were sent - the Marauders' owls were flying across the country, delivering them to all of the Gryffindors, and a large proportion of the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs in their year. A few younger students - girls, mainly - were invited as well. This was definitely going to be the party of the year.

On the morning of the party, the four friends (Peter joined them the day before) intended to re-arrange the house for the festivities. The invitations said eight o'clock, which surely meant that nobody was going to show up before half past nine, and yet James woke them all up at seven in the morning.

"Wha-wha-what are you thinking, James?" yawned Peter. "It's still night outside." He slowly opened his eyes, and jumped suddenly out of the bed, losing his equilibrium and falling on Sirius. "Did you see that?" he whispered.

"Hey, what are you doing on my bed?" said Sirius, pushing Peter aside.

"Did you see the dead man?" said Peter conspiratorially, still whispering.

"What dead man? Where?" said Sirius loudly.

"Shhh! What are you doing? He'll hear you!"

"Oh, come on, Wormtail, there aren't any dead men here," said James brightly, pulling the curtains open. "Remus, wake up - it's a beautiful morning!" he stated confidently.

"Right. Whatever you say, Prongs," said Remus. He got up and streched his arms lazily.

"Oh, stop complaining, you three! Tonight's going to be the best party you've ever had, and we need to prepare everything."

And so, they prepared. The fact that most of them were of age (James's birthday was in three weeks) was supposed to make it all easier. But then, things never seem to work out as they're supposed to.

"Ouch!" cried Remus, as a heavy book fell from the shelf he was levitating, and hit him hard on the head. He massaged his temples, and conjured himself a glass of water. He then proceeded to spill the water all over the book at his feet, as he was still dizzy from the blow. "Guys, I've just had a revelation!"

"You know why I see dead people!" exclaimed Peter.

"You figured out a way for me to take Lily Evans on a date?" asked James hopefully.

Sirius was staring out of the window again. "Somebody said something?" he mumbled.

"No, no, and yes, I did say something. I think I just figured out the meaning of life!"

"Oh," Peter and James said together, and turned back to do whatever they'd been doing. Sirius was now watching a fly zooming across the room in perfectly straight lines.

Ignoring his friends' lack of interest in his discovery, Remus summoned a heap of parchment and a quill, and started writing feverishly, occasionally mumbling to himself.

*

Just as Mrs. Potter called them all to have dinner, the telephone rang. James gave out a startled yell. "I will never get used to that thing!" he said angrily.

"James, darling, could you please pick it up?" called his mother from the kitchen.

Grudgingly, James proceeded to answer the Muggle device.

"Why do they have a telephone in their house?" asked Remus, curious.

"Apparently, Prongs's parents have some Muggle friends they want to be able to talk to," said Sirius, "so they've bought this."

"Wow, Padfoot, you actually managed to hear what I said, understand it, and answer the question!" Remus was surprised.

"What?" Sirius replied.

"Never mind," sighed the other boy.

"Here's that dead man again!" yelped Peter.

"There aren't any dead men in my house, Peter!" shouted James, who already finished his phone talk. "But there is a man inside the teflifone," he said conversationally.

"You mean... the person you were talking to, who was on the line with you?" said Remus, puzzled.

"No, no, of course not," answered James. He explained, "I was talking to a woman, mum's friend, but I can swear that there's a little man inside the receiver."

"Nonsense," stated Remus. Peter nodded his head in agreement.

"Let's eat," said Sirius and ran to the table.

The four boys were devouring the food as though they hadn't eaten in a lifetime. Suddenly, Peter ducked under the table.

"Oh, come on, Wormtail - not the dead man again..." sighed Remus. All they could hear were frightened squeaks. By the time Peter appeared back on his seat, the other three had almost finished eating.

"Hey, where are my potatoes?" asked Peter in an annoyed voice.

"I didn't take them. Pretty sure of that," said Sirius quickly, hiding his plate.

*

The party really turned out to be a great success. Almost everyone who was invited showed up, and James was very pleased with himself. He dragged a chair into the middle of the room, and stood on it.

"Ehm, ehm. Everybody, gather here. I want to use this special occasion to tell you all about something I've been thinking about for a long time. After reading this book, in which I learned of Masadakar - no, wait - Maragascad?"

"Madagascar?" asked Lily, annoyed.

"Yes, that's it! Thank you, Lily, and by the way - would you like to go out with me?"

"James Potter, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"That you love me dearly and will be the mother of my child?"

"Potter, are you crazy?" she practically shrieked.

"Fine, fine, whatever you say, honey. Anyway, after that I've decided to write a book about my own deeds!"

In the silence that ensued, Remus Lupin could be heard mumbling over his own piece of writing. "Forty-three... No, forty-two! Yes, forty-two was the answer."

"This book of mine," said James, trying to return the crowd's attention to his words, "will be called 'How I did It'."

Lily asked, "What does it mean?" However, she was one of the only girls still listening to James. Almost every other girl in the place tried to sit as closer to Remus as she could, and read a bit of what he was writing. Some fights ensued, and Peter was torn between the joy of watching a chick-fight, the urge to hide under the table (so that the scary dead man wouldn't see him), and the curiosity of hearing James's answer.

James, in the meantime, didn't seem to want to answer the question. Instead, he jumped off the chair and went over to Lily. Putting a hand over her shoulder, he said, "Do you know that there's a man inside the feltilone?"

"The what?" She quickly extracted his hand.

"The telfitone, you know... The one Muggles use to talk to each other?"

"The telephone?"

"Yeah, that's it. There's a man inside. A really small, tiny, little man."

"Who told you this fable?"

"Nobody, I just know that it's true," said James. "Hey, what are those girls doing with Moony?" he asked, finally noticing the commotion around his friend. He was used to getting such attention himself, but never saw his second best friend surrounded by it. It was weird, when he came to think about it.

"Sirius, did you see that?" he asked.

"Huh?" said the black-haired boy.

"Remus has a lot of girls over him. How come it's not you or me who's the most popular?" James was starting to worry.

"I don't know," said Sirius, and turned around to find the fly that was still in the room.

"Sirius!" James slapped his friend across the face. "What is it with you today? Get out of it!"

But that didn't help him in the slightest bit. Sirius merely shrugged, and went to eat some more snacks.

"Are you jealous?" said Lily.

"I... No, but... It's just that... I don't know." He came to the same conclusion as Sirius.

"How do you feel about it, then?"

"Come on, stop that psycho-thingy! I'd better tell you about my book. I'm calling it 'How I did It', did you hear?"

"Can you at least try to explain what do you mean by 'It'?" said Lily, exasperatedly. Peter got closer, trying to listen.

"I cannot talk about it here," said James dramatically. "Do you want to come outside? I can explain it there, if I will see that it is safe and that I can trust you."

"Don't you trust me?" said Lily, feeling a bit insulted.

"Of course I do, my dear, but how can I know if you're really Lily Potter? Maybe you're just an impostor?" he said.

"How will getting outside help you with that?" she said, puzzled.

"Oh, you'll see," said James mysteriously.

They moved towards the exit to the garden, trying to make their way through the dozen-or-so fangirls reading bits out of Remus's work.

"... Life, the universe, and Everything ..."

"... What do you get if you multiply six by nine? ...."

"... So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish! ..."

The outside garden was beautifully lit, and shining blue butterflies were flying in every direction.

"So, how do you plan on checking my identity?" asked Lily, now positively curious.

"Well... Like this," James said, and then he kissed her deeply.

A/N:

You might have recognized some of Douglas Adams's quotes from The Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy. They are most definitely not mine.