Revenge Gone Wrong

Chapter 2

Harry escaped as soon as Cho blew up at him and headed to the shower. When he and Ron wrestled, he always managed to mop up every particle of dust on the floor, and tonight was no exception. It irked Harry to no end that no matter what he did, his hair was always unruly, but at least he could stay clean. The other boys routinely called him "Prissy Potter" for that.

He cast a heating charm on the water and got in. Jesus, what is Cho's problem? Every time she gets around me she ends up bawling. Or yelling. And then bawling again. I don't even know what I did wrong! He closed his eyes, dunked his head under the stream of water, and relaxed under the heat. She's just another damned hero chaser. I hate that. His hand reached up, and he traced his scar lightly with his fingers. Like I go flying around saving damsels in distress in my spare time.

He suddenly got an unbidden mental image of himself in a ridiculous "hero" getup: tights, cape and all. Harry started laughing, and then he added a hundred scantily clad, busty blondes chasing him down the street to the scenario and grinned. Okay, so maybe that's not so bad after all.

Harry next pictured Hermione lecturing him. "You boys are so ridiculous," she'd say. "Don't you ever think with anything ABOVE your neck?" Then she'd sigh, roll her eyes, flip her hair, and turn around and stomp off... And Harry did love watching her walk away. Hermione might have been bitchy as all get-out lately, but she sure had a butt that - Harry James Potter! What the hell are you thinking? This is Hermione you're thinking about! One of your two dearest friends! Good God, Potter, you've been knocked upside the head with a Quaffle one too many times.

He rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and got out of the shower, resolving to stuff that internal monologue into a deep, dark part of his mind where he wouldn't have to deal with it again. Well, maybe not the busty blondes part.

Harry dried off, got clothes on, and peeked out the door to the common room. "Is she gone?

"The coast is clear," answered a glum-sounding Ron.

"What's wrong with you?"

Ron stood up and turned around. His hair was a shocking shade of pink, his skin was bright blue, and his eyes were a very unsettling shade of orange. "Fred. And. George. Are. Dead."

Harry busted out laughing. He laughed so hard that he fell over a chair, nearly broke his neck, and still didn't care. His loud cackling brought everyone down from their rooms, where they proceeded to double over in laughter. Poor Ron just got, well - bluer.

When everyone managed to scrape themselves off the floor and stop the incessant laughing, they finally turned to Ron.

"What happened to you??"

Ron grimaced, showing purple teeth. A couple of boys sniggered. "I got an owl with a package with cookies from Mom, except they weren't from Mom. Apparently I'm the new guinea pig for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. They are both dead. I'm gonna kill both of 'em."

Harry stifled more laughter. "Guess it's time to get Hermione, eh?"

Ron just turned around and sat down, muttering.

Harry traipsed up the stairs to the girls' dormitory and banged on the door. "Hermione! C'mere!"

Hermione poked her head out. "What do you want?"

"You need to go see Ron. Now."

Hermione quickly tied her bathrobe at her waist and scurried down the stairs. When she saw sulky, multicolored Ron, her hand flew inadvertently to her mouth and her eyebrows shot up. She knew he was humiliated, and she knew she shouldn't laugh... but she just couldn't hold it in. Little giggles turned into hearty guffaws, and soon even Harry was biting his lip to keep from laughing.

Harry put an arm around Hermione and patted the side of her hip. "Alright, Hermione, let's knock it off. Before he knocks us off," he added more quietly.

It didn't escape Hermione's notice that Harry had touched her. She swallowed hard. "Ron, what have you tried?"

Ron's bottom lip began to quiver. "Nothing. Usually the twins' stuff wears off after a while, but, Hermione - I don't wanna stay like this any longer than I have to!"

Hermione brought out her wand, pointed it at Ron, and said, "Finite Incantatem!"

Ron remained neon. "Dammit. Ron, I'm going to have to do some research."

"Well, hurry up! I've got a date tomorrow!!"

Hermione grinned. "I'll see what I can do." She turned and ran back up the stairs toward her dorm.

Harry gave Ron a slightly twisted smile. "And while she's up to her neck in books, we'll start plotting revenge."

Ron gave a toothy purple smile in return.