- Harry Potter/Severus Snape
- Harry Potter Severus Snape
- Slash Angst
- The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Published: 01/12/2005Updated: 02/09/2005Words: 146,361Chapters: 30Hits: 275,831
Green Eyes Sublime
- Story Summary:
- When Harry returns to Hogwarts for his sixth year, only Severus seems to truly notice how deeply Harry's despair goes. Since Dumbledore is as blinded as everyone else, Severus decides to take matters into his own hands and help. But doing that means opening up his own soul and secrets to the Boy-Who-Lived, because Harry isn't going to just heal in one day. SS/HP, SLASH and depression related theme.
- Chapter Summary:
- Harry returns to Hogwarts for his Seventh Year with a new determination to overcome all obstacles in his way. It doesn't take him long to realize that there is just a little more that he has to learn in order for him to win the love of a master. And in the confines of love and war, Severus must now learn when to let Harry go. SS/HP SLASH and Violence.
- Author's Note:
- Thanks: To my wonderful beta readers Amanda_Saitou and Philo whose wonderful help kept me sane.
To Pay the Piper
Harry had awoken to the feel of crispy white sheets and the feel of residual magic. That could have only meant that he was in one particular place. The Hospital Wing. It took another moment for him to remember why he was once again awakening in there.
He had fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table with a groan. His head felt heavy and a papery texture in his mouth told of some Dreamless Sleep potion being induced in himself at some point. The room had swung into focus as soon as he donned the glasses.
Will's quiet voice had broken the silence.
Harry's bed was next to one on which Draco laid looking much too pale and very still. If it was not for the gentle rise and fall of the Slytherin's chest, Harry would have sworn he wasn't alive. That could only mean that Malfoy had been forced to some potions too.
Beside Draco, between the two beds, Will sat on an uncomfortable looking wooden chair, facing the sleeping figure.
He sat very still also, just staring at Draco.
It was almost as if he was trying to see through Draco's porcelein skin and right into Draco's soul. Almost as if Will was trying to find something to connect to. Perhaps there was a heart beating deep within that Will thought he could melt over time.
Harry watched Will watching Draco...and he wondered what his own Slytherin was doing.
"He's not entirely evil is he?" Will asked softly, though his eyes remained on the object of his thoughts.
"Evil? Not quite," Harry admitted. "But he isn't a saint either. Don't let gratitude blind you to his faults Will. Malfoy is anything but delicate and everything but nice."
Will sighed loudly then turned to Harry.
"I'm not an idiot you know. I know who he is and how horrible he can be. I'm not trying to delude myself into thinking he's you or something. I mean I still like you...a lot," Will declared with a slight blush. "It's different when I'm around him. I've tried to ignore it because the two of you are so different. I mean how can I like you, Harry Potter, and at the same time feel something for him? It's strange. Now that I found out that he endured the Cruciatius Curse for me, my feelings for him just seemed to double. You don't endure the Cruciatius for just anyone you know."
Harry shrugged. "I agree, but don't rush into anything. I mean he's Malfoy! Underneath it all, he just might still be a sadistic bastard. You don't want to find that out the hard way."
Will was silent for a while.
"I have to know. I have to give the two of us a try," he finally said softly. "I have to see what happens, otherwise I'll just feel like I made a huge mistake."
He gave Harry a look of mock hurt tinged with just a little sadness. "It's not like I can have you. Something tells me that you're off-limits for some reason. At least with him I know I have a chance. If he's not straight, that is."
"He's not," Harry replied with a small smile. "At least he can be convinced otherwise that he isn't."
Will laughed. "How do you know that?"
"I just know," Harry replied.
Will's expression changed to a pensive look.
"What happened out there Harry?" he asked softly. "It's a good thing you didn't try to use the Floo network that Dumbledore opened. It collapsed as soon as the rest of us stepped out. But, when you and Malfoy arrived back at Hogwarts and both passed out on the grounds, it was shocking. Madam Pomfrey said you had both endured the Cruciatius. She said you had suffered a very large drain to your magic. I think she was afraid that you especially were not going to wake for a long time."
Harry closed his eyes for a moment to block out the onslaught of images. Of bodies falling to the ground and one that would never stir again.
"Nothing happened Will," Harry finally whispered, though his eyes attested otherwise. "It was just the Cruciatius. It's not a very nice spell to have to endure."
Will got an enquiring look in his eyes as if he wanted to discuss the issue further, but just then the door to the Infirmary opened and Dumbledore made his way over to the three students.
"Hello Mr. Stephens, it's good to see you in better health," the Headmaster said with a warm smile. "How is your shoulder?"
"It's better. Thank you for asking Headmaster," Will responded with his own smile.
Harry shot him a look of intrigue. "Your shoulder? What happened?"
Will turned a light shade of red, then made a face of embarrassment. "I almost splinched myself. My magic was a little weak from everything but you know, it's not as if I had a choice. I dislocated my shoulder. Madam Pomfrey healed it in no time though."
"It's good to see that you are better too Harry," Dumbledore added softly. "I expected young Malfoy to awaken before you, but you always were very resilient."
Harry nodded, not knowing what he was expected to say and not wanting to say anything anyway. Dumbledore's look changed to a one of understanding.
"The Ministry contacted us and gave us a brief report of what they found when they investigated," he said gently. "I understand that now may not be the best time to ask you what happened. I believe I can piece the puzzle together. Can you come to my office later though and fill in the blank spaces?"
Again Harry nodded.
"Good, good," Dumbledore muttered softly, then once again his eyes connected intensely with Harry's. "We're very proud of you Harry. You did a great job of ensuring that Hogsmeade be returned to its residents. They are very grateful. Your fellow students are very grateful too for the return of their friends."
Harry took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. He understood that everyone was happy and grateful, but none of them knew what it had taken to allow them that gratitude. Harry was trying desperately to push the events to the back of his mind.
"Where are Ron and Hermione?" he asked instead.
"Ah, I believe they should be preparing for their first class of the day. I offered to allow them leave but Ms. Granger insisted that they not miss a moment," Dumbledore responded. "Since it's Monday morning, it's Potions I believe."
That caught Harry's attention. Monday morning. It meant that Harry had been unconscious for almost twelve hours.
He had to speak to Severus.
"I should go too," Harry said, already moving off the bed. "I need to speak...to them. And Rem- uh Professor Lupin is probably wondering at my absence from breakfast. He's the Defense Against The Dark Arts professor. He'd want to know what happened."
"I thought you might be inclined to go." Dumbledore stopped him with a gentle shove back onto the bed. "I think that perhaps you should read this first. If you still wish to go to Potions or any other class afterwards, then you may feel free to do so."
From his robe pocket he pulled out a piece of parchment, which he handed over to Harry. Written on it was a paragraph of words that looked as if they were transcribed from a book. Harry stared at the heading of the paragraph, lost in thought as he wondered how Dumbledore had known.
"Mr. Stephens, if Mr. Malfoy wakes up soon please tell him that I wish for him to see me in my office immediately. There are certain ministry officials who wish to speak to him." Dumbledore's voice floated somewhere in the background. "If he does not wake before the start of your next class, would you mind just leaving? I think Harry may need a little privacy and I'm sure that the Hospital Wing can't be your first choice to be in anyway."
Dumbledore left the infirmary and Will turned to Harry. "Harry are you alright? What is it?"
Harry didn't respond. His eyes darted across the piece of paper more than once as the information sunk in. It explained a lot, but it also left him feeling a sense of uncertainty.
His fingers flew to the invisible ring at his chest as he read.
Unlike Muggle Heirlooms, Magical Heirlooms hold great powers. Passed down from generation to generation, each heirloom contains the history of one's ancestry woven within their cores. Yet, none compares to the Spiritus or True Heirloom. Each wizarding family is rumored to own an heirloom that is the heart of that family. Passed from one heir to the next the Spiritus contains an essence of its owner. Given on the eighteenth birthday, the soul of the heir is interlocked with the Spiritus. Destroy the Spiritus and the heir will instantly die. The Spiritus for many Wizarding families are usually kept secret. Invisibility spells are very often placed upon them and powerful charms are added by each of the heirs. The form of the Spiritus appears to be very different for each family and have so far ranged from as tiny as a pin head to as large as a bed. The only way the power of a Spiritus can be defused is through blood magic performed specifically by the heir.
Harry sat in silence staring at the piece of parchment for a very long time. Even when Will rose and said goodbye, Harry's thoughts swirled in his head. His pensieve would have been very handy in that moment, but of course that was locked safely in his trunk since the last time he had used it in his Sixth year.
He rose from the bed in a daze and changed into his uniform. By then, Draco had begun to stir on the other bed.
"Dumbledore wants to see you as soon as you feel up to it," he said softly, not knowing if Draco was conscious enough to hear or understand. "It looks like each of us with have to do a bit of deciding by the time today ends. First, I have some thinking to do."
He slipped out the room and softly closed the door behind himself.
"Will this be another day of silence?" A soft voice interrupted the obvious blanket of deep thoughts. "Mr. Potter?"
"Don't call me that."
Harry turned to look reproachfully at his new MagiPsych, before sighing tiredly and turning away again.
"Why not? It is your name. Harry Potter."
"My name is Harry," he corrected with a little irritation. "Just call me Harry if you want to speak to me."
"Would you prefer if I didn't speak Harry? Do you like the silence?"
Harry spun around in anger. "That's a very dumb question. I was just thinking!"
"I can see that. What were you thinking about?"
Harry turned back around to gaze out the window as he had done since his very first session. The Psych Ward was on the fourth floor of St. Mungo's since many of the patients who suffered spell damage were immediately assigned mental help to deal with the trauma.
From high up in a magically concealed building, the ground looked very far down.
Jean-Claude's voice interrupted Harry's train of thoughts again. Once more Harry sighed.
"Flying," he finally answered. "I was thinking of flying. I miss flying. Hogwarts would have chosen the Quidditch captains for Seventh year by now. The cup probably went to Slytherin for this year. Exams have already started. Everyone probably took their last lap around the field for the year. No more flying. I've missed an entire week."
"Are all those things important to you?"
Harry made a face. Then he moved away from the window to sit on one of the many chairs in the room.
"Well the exams I couldn't care any less about. Who worries about missed exams? As for being Gryffindor's Quidditch captain. I was asked but so was Ron. I'm not sure if I want it bad enough. Ron should get it. I suppose Slytherin winning the cup would be a royal pain. The whole lot of them are annoying prats and I'd never hear the end of it even in September when I get back. Professor Snape would be happy though. I suppose that's a good thing. The worst is that I missed the last flying of the year. That's usually such fun."
Jean-Claude's quill raced across his clipboard in an attempt to keep up with Harry's words. As soon as the stream of words stopped though he looked up from his parchment to gaze thoughtfully at Harry.
"You like flying," he said softly. "Come with me."
Fifteen minutes later and after two floo points and a portkey, Harry was granted his desire. High above the ground, side by side the two Wizards flew until their world was a spiral of air and the only sound was that of distant birds.
"What do you see Harry?"
Jean-Claude's voice broke the silence and Harry obeyed by looking downwards.
"Clouds?" he asked, amused.
"No, look farther. What do you see?"
"Your family's manor. Other houses. Trees. Green. Brown," Harry chuckled. "I don't know. People? The world?"
Jean-Claude smiled. "Why don't you like being called Harry Potter?"
Harry groaned aloud but answered anyway. Perhaps it was because he was flying and that was one of his surest methods of clearing his head of all the thoughts and worries that paralyzed him inside. Perhaps it was the wind and the silence.
Flying meant freedom and being weightless.
"Harry Potter is a hero," he said quietly. "I am just Harry. I hate being a symbol of hope to people who have never met me. Everyone thinks I'm so strong and so brave but I'm not. I'm just Harry. I can't be their everything when I'm not even enough for myself."
Jean-Claude nodded and stared below for a little while also. "The people down there that you see, are they Wizards or Muggles?"
Harry looked again. Squinted. Peered. Then finally he sighed.
"I don't know. They're too tiny. I'm too far up."
Jean-Claude nodded then smiled again. "Professor Snape? Potions master, right? I met him before. Hated him on sight. He was that disagreeable. Why would you care if he's happy with a Quidditch house victory?"
Harry laughed. "Long story. I'm sure you'll get it out of me soon though."
"Alright," Jean-Claude amended. "Then in the meantime, tell me about Ron. You've mentioned him in our sessions before. And who is Hermione? She sounds très belle...uh very beautiful as a person."
Harry laughed again. "She is, both inside and out. Ron is pretty okay too. They're my best friends."
"And what about the others? Neville? Dean? Seamus?" Jean-Claude asked gently. "What about Dumbledore? Tell me about him. I want to know about the people in your world."
Jean-Claude turned his broom towards Harry and gave him an intense look of dazzling blue eyes that matched the color of the sky they had tried to touch earlier.
"I want to know about the people that see you. The one's that are not too far away to care who you are. Tell me Harry. Are they worth it? Are they worth the view that you get from the pedestal that the world has placed you upon?"
Harry nodded with a small smile on his face. "Of course they are. They are the one's that hold me up and not care that I'm just human and can fall."
"Then Harry Potter, don't you think it's time you repay their generosity? You have their love. You have their strength. You never had to do this alone. Not once since you met them I'm sure. Isn't it a little selfish to shut them out for so long?"
Harry looked down on the tiny figures below and sighed softly, knowing that Jean-Claude was right. It really didn't seem all that important who was below him whether they were Wizards or Muggles. None of them deserved to die.
And neither did Harry.
"Harry, tell me about yourself. Let me be the broom that helps you to rise in your strength again," Jean-Claude said softly. "And when you are strong enough, you can return the favor to the world."
Harry nodded very slowly as if lost in thoughts. Then he smiled.
"Are they Muggles or Wizards?" he asked mischievously. "I bet you can't tell either."
"Actually." Jean-Claude gave him a conspiring look. "I was hoping that it's neither, but that's just wishful thinking on my part. It's a bit unorthodox for me being a Magical Psychologist, to take my patient home. Even worse is to take you flying. Muggles on the other hand, would be frightened out of their meek little minds if they just chanced to look up. Neither of us are invisible at the moment."
Harry laughed and laughed again as they both spiraled down to earth.
Harry spoke softly to the four Thestrals that meekly approached him, effectively pulling him out of his memories. He was sitting on the ground, with his back against a tree that was a part of the entrance to the Forbidden Forest. His knees were tucked up near his chest as he surveyed his surroundings.
Everything was silent, as if the whole world was holding its breath.
"I suppose you don't need blood to approach the famous Harry Potter. I have enough pain to flood the world. I've seen enough sufferings, and now I've killed someone. Is that the same as bleeding to you? Well if it is, Severus must be bombarded by you guys when he is out here."
Harry laughed sadly to himself. The Thestrals didn't seem to mind his soft, sad words. One by one, they laid near him, forming a protective semi-circle around him.
"Are you here to help me make a decision?" he asked them quietly. "Jump in at any time. I'm up for taking suggestions."
The Thestrals remained quiet and Harry shrugged.
"Alright then. Don't help. Leave the burden of deciding the fate of the world to me like everyone else has done."
He took a deep breath.
"Here is what I have so far. Too many innocent people have lost their lives already and now everyone lives in fear. I have to do something. The world is waiting for me to do something to help. Do you think its normal to be afraid? What do I do? If I don't try then more people will die. Hogwarts will be safe. I will be safe and Voldemort will rule the world. If I find him then he will certainly kill me and everything would be for nothing because once again, the world will be lost. Should I sacrifice myself or sacrifice the world, knowing that both will lead to the same thing?"
Harry sighed. "A hell of a decision, don't you think?"
The Thestrals remained silent.
Harry sat lost in thought for a few more minutes before slowly rising to his feet. Around him the Thestrals also rose. Harry gave each of them a small pat.
"You've been a great help guys," he whispered with a sad smile. "We should do this again some time."
He turned away and began to walk towards the castle. It was probably nearing lunchtime and he still had a number of things to do with his day. High above him a flock of owls approached the castle also.
Harry knew that they were meant for Dumbledore and himself.
"I know what you're going to do."
Draco stood with his arms folded and a superior smile on his face as he rested against one of the gargoyles leading to Dumbledore's office. Harry gave him a look of amusement, before he walked by him. Draco followed.
"I sincerely doubt you do Malfoy," Harry said.
"Potter, you're like an open book," Draco retorted. "You're so bloody predictable."
"What's it to you anyway?"
Draco stopped walking long enough to shoot Harry a look of pity. "You're going to lose. He's more powerful than you Potter. Whatever little tricks you think you have won't be enough to save you. Are you prepared to die?"
Harry glared at him but decided not to respond. Dravo was forced to catch up when the Gryffindor continued to walk away.
"I've chosen a side to fight on. I thought you should know since my aid will immediately be cut off. I told you once before, I'm not fighting on the losing side along with you or anyone else."
Draco's tone had hardened and that got Harry's attention. Harry turned in anger.
"Then go!" he shouted along the deserted corridor, tired of their little dance. "I never asked you to help me! You wanted to. It was your little game, remember? You wanted to play both sides against the middle. It didn't quite turn out the way you wanted did it?"
Draco shrugged. "Not quite Potter, but my ass is still more safe than yours."
His eyes narrowed and his expression changed to a smirk of condescension.
"What did Dumbledore say to your brilliant decision?" he asked. "He told you some shit about being brave and always doing the right thing, didn't he? Do you know what he said to me in a magnificent speech he had all ready for me and the ministry official's head that was sitting in the fireplace?"
Intrigued, Harry stopped walking and Draco came to stand before him.
"I told him what I'd done. I told him what I had decided and Merlin you should have seen the look on his face as if it was him that I'd betrayed and not everyone in my life that I know. You'd think the word 'Neutral' wasn't in his vocabulary. If my father finds me he will kill me on sight at this point! My friends will be unmerciful! And the man stood there and I told me I was under house arrest. Granted, he did save me from going to Azkaban for treachery, but I was searched from head to toe for a mark we both know that I don't have. Then he gives me this lovely speech about the choices we make in life and the people who have to bear the consequences of our actions. As if I have ever cared about such nonsense!"
Harry looked at the righteous indignation on the Slytherin's face and started to laugh unmercifully.
"House arrest?" he asked still grinning. "Well at least this way you're father won't find you to kill you. And as for your friends, they don't have to know if you don't tell them Malfoy. So try to rein your irritation in. Three months locked up in the castle is no worse that what the other students have had to endure."
Draco glared when Harry shot him another look of amusement. "Why do you have to see the good in everything?"
"Don't know, really. I suppose because it's expected of me." Harry shrugged again but this time with smile. "Why did you have to change?"
"Me?" Draco looked shocked. "Change? Gods no! If I did it's only because you did."
Harry raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Last year you must have really hit the bottom of your perfect world, didn't you?" Draco continued quietly. "I saw you last year in Moaning Murtle's bathroom when you were all covered in blood with your two friends looking as if they were going to fall apart any moment and Professor Snape trying to calm you. I couldn't believe you'd do that to yourself. That's when I decided that I didn't particularly care that you were Harry Potter anymore and some washed up hero. I wasn't going to stretch myself thin like you had to, by being what someone else wanted me to be. I was going to make my own decisions for myself. I'd be Deputy Head Boy and serve under you and beside Weasley. I'd allow myself to like a very misguided Ravenclaw who, as everyone else, thought the sun set and rose with you. I'd fight for who I wanted in this bloody war!
"Then you came back and had done the same thing. You were different in a very unsettling way. I mean you're still the Potter I intensely dislike, but you've changed. You're a better Head Boy than I would ever have been because everyone respects you. You're friends would die for you. I heard them say it with my own ears. I did my homework on you, remember? I came to realize that you were probably a lot more busy than even Hogwart's duties made you."
"So now you want to tell me of your undying love and dedication to me?" Harry asked in a teasing tone. "Now you want to throw yourself at my feet in humble gratitude?"
"No!" Draco glared. "Never."
"I didn't do it alone," Harry said quietly. "Last year I tried to and then I realized that I didn't have to. You should try it sometime."
"I doubt I'd get the same level of response," Draco countered dryly.
Harry shrugged. "Will likes you. He's willing to give the two of you a chance and turn a blind eye to the fact that you stood on the side of the Death Eaters yesterday. Maybe other people are too. Dumbledore saved you from Azkaban, whether you admit to appreciating it or not. And Severus happens to defend you at every turn, even though your father is a prick."
"Severus?" Draco raised an eyebrow. "I'm not like you, Potter. Just because I fancy another bloke doesn't mean I'm gay."
Harry smiled. "Of course not Malfoy."
"So you've made your big decision? You won't change your mind?" Draco asked softly.
Harry shook his head, but continued to smile. "Neutral huh? Took you this long to figure out that you didn't have to do anything? If I were so fortunate..."
Harry's expression became thoughtful.
"So what? Are we friends now?" he asked.
"No." Draco shook his head. "I offered to be your friend once and you turned me down. I'm not doing that again. You're a little too good for my taste anyway."
"We'll just be two people, standing side by side," Draco responded. "It doesn't mean we'll trust each other any more than we ever did before, but at least this way we know the other is right there. Maybe one day we can be friends but not now. Maybe though."
Harry nodded and smiled.
"Yeah," he said softly. "Okay."
Each turned from the other and silently walked away in opposite directions. Lunch would be over soon and the younger students would be flooding the corridors on their way to class.
Harry had to catch up with Ron and Hermione. He needed a quiet moment with them. One where words weren't needed and explanations were redundant. He had two more people with whom he needed to have a chat after that.
One was going to be much harder than the other.
Draco had his own crowd of admirers to return to and to have his own talk with a certain Ravenclaw. His falcon had to be handed over to Dumbledore by the end of the day because he wasn't allowed any more owl post or contact with the outside world. He still had class to return to.
Draco Malfoy was no Harry Potter but at least now they realized that their lives weren't as different as they original assumed.
To each his own.
"Have you come to pay penance Harry?"
Harry ducked his head in shame at Remus' quiet question. He'd forgotten for a while that it was still Monday and at one point in the day he was supposed to have been in Defense Against The Dark Arts class.
"I'm sorry I skipped your class Remus," he said softly. "I just had a lot of things to think about."
Remus rose from behind his desk and walked over to where Harry stood before the closed office door.
"I wasn't talking about my class Harry," he responded just as quietly. "I was talking about the look in your eyes. It was the same look I saw in James' eyes the night he came to tell me goodbye. He was taking you and Lily into hiding and making Sirius his Secret Keeper. I was never going to see him again and I suppose we both knew it even then."
He reached out a hand as if to touch Harry but pulled it back with a jerk.
"You've made up your mind. I can see it in your eyes. You've even accepted your own death as if it's already happened." His deep brown eyes saddened. "There is nothing I can do for you anymore?"
Harry shook his head, wanting to block out his godfather's sadness. Remus had lost so much and now Harry was asking him to let another person he loved, go.
"You'll tell me I made the wrong choice. You'll say I'm doing the wrong thing and that maybe I need to be selfish and save myself," he whispered. "You'll say I'm not strong enough and that yesterday wasn't a dream and I'm not ready to fight one so powerful only hours later. You'll tell me that I'm only going to my death for nothing and when I die the world will just move on without me."
Remus nodded and this time when he reached out it was to pull Harry into a tight hug.
"Yes," he whispered, "but you'll go anyway."
They stood like that for a while. Remus silently thanked James and Lily and all the lucky stars, that he could have that moment with someone that was just as much his son as Sirius' and James and Lily's. While Harry fought back all the doubt and tears that he couldn't express anymore.
"Have you spoken to Severus yet?" Remus broke the silence finally. "What did he think of your decision?"
Harry retreated out of the embrace with a look of surprise on his face.
"How did you know?" he asked.
"I didn't," Remus responded. "But now I do."
"Did he...? Was it his idea? Did he take advantage of you or force you or hurt you Harry?" Remus continued a little more sharply. "I only know what I have seen of the two of you. He is as closed as a trick wall, but I can see the difference in you when you're around him."
Harry shook his head violently and blushed some more.
"He didn't force me Remus. In fact he did his best to push me away. I think I might have been the one to sway him." Harry smiled wryly. "I love him."
"Harry -" Remus' tone changed to steel, but Harry quickly shook his head again.
"No Remus, listen to me," he said then repeated his words again. "I love him."
Something in Harry's eyes must have gotten through to his godfather because Remus let out the breath he was holding and gave Harry a quick embrace again.
"If you really have made your decision, then I think you should tell him that one more time," Remus whispered. "I get the impression that he hardly ever got to hear those words his entire life. You might want to keep trying to convince him."
Harry nodded, but the two stood staring at each other for another moment.
"Try to stay alive for as long as you can for me?" Remus requested.
"I will," Harry responded. "If I don't get back...well...you made a very good second father. I never got the chance to tell Sirius that and I wanted to. You two are the only dads I've ever had and the two of you did very well."
"I know Harry," Remus replied gently. "Sirius was very proud of you. I am incredibly proud too and I know that James and Lily would have loved who you've become. It must be a great feeling to know that the adults in your life love you for who you are as a person and not because we feel obligated as your parents or guardians or mentors to love you."
Harry shrugged. "Love is the only thing I have."
"No," Remus corrected. "Love is the greatest thing you have. Let's hope that in the end it will help you."
"Jean-Claude will you remember me when I die?"
"When you die Harry?"
"Yes. Will you remember me as the person I am? Without the fame and the pedestal? As just Harry? Can you remember me for who I am?"
"I love you Harry. For the people who love you, you will always be remembered."
Harry opened the door to Severus' quarters and slipped into the front room quietly, closing the door firmly behind himself.
His eyes surveyed the rows and rows of parchment and potions that were stacked on the bookshelves along the wall and read their labels softly to himself. He wondered where Severus kept the name-less ones. Where would those be stacked? Beside the Blood Leech Potion? Before the Veritaserum?
It took a while, but he finally found the potion he was looking for.