- Harry Potter/Severus Snape
- Harry Potter Severus Snape
- Slash Angst
- The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Published: 01/12/2005Updated: 02/09/2005Words: 146,361Chapters: 30Hits: 275,831
Green Eyes Sublime
- Story Summary:
- When Harry returns to Hogwarts for his sixth year, only Severus seems to truly notice how deeply Harry's despair goes. Since Dumbledore is as blinded as everyone else, Severus decides to take matters into his own hands and help. But doing that means opening up his own soul and secrets to the Boy-Who-Lived, because Harry isn't going to just heal in one day. SS/HP, SLASH and depression related theme.
- Chapter Summary:
- Harry returns to Hogwarts for his Seventh Year with a new determination to overcome all obstacles in his way. It doesn't take him long to realize that there is just a little more that he has to learn in order for him to win the love of a master. And in the confines of love and war, Severus must now learn when to let Harry go. SS/HP SLASH and Violence.
- Author's Note:
- Thanks: To my wonderful beta readers Amanda_Saitou and Philo whose wonderful help kept me sane.
Stones and Glass Houses
Harry was happy.
He had been laughing a little more now and had even gotten back up to his usual safe verbal battles with Malfoy. Albeit, most of the time he still wanted to punch the little git but the important thing was that he no longer did. Any more detentions and he was sure that even Dumbledore couldn't stop the Ministry from suspending him from Hogwarts.
It was a good thing too that he was feeling so good as the first Quidditch match of the year was to be played later that day and Harry was looking forward to it. He hadn't felt up to it for so long that practice had become almost tedious to his fragile being but he had gone to every practice and now it would pay off.
It would help to get his mind off other things.
His waking hours may have been happy but at nights his dreams were becoming more and more consumed by visions and dreams of Voldemort. There were times when he would drift off to sleep four or five times and be awoken by the same searing pain of his scar hurting. So sometimes he hardly slept and sometimes sleeping was all he wanted to do.
'Well, at least Dumbledore is being well informed,' was the one thought that helped in those moments when Harry felt as if his forehead was about to combust from all the pain.
Severus was informed too.
He had only been down to the dungeon three or four times since his last. Mostly, he dealt with the agony on his own and hoped that his notes to Dumbledore were still being passed on to the Potions master. When he did go to see Severus though, their conversations and discussion on both his scar and himself were way more extensive than what he told Dumbledore.
He just didn't go talk to Severus a lot now since he didn't want to be a burden to the man.
Severus was worried.
He had no apparent reason to be since the object of his worries was standing a few feet away brewing a Polygon Potion and seemed to be in better mental health that he had in previous weeks. But Severus knew that appearances were deceiving. Harry had only come to see him a few times and Severus got the impression that he was holding back somehow.
That worried him a little. That and the fact that Harry seemed so happy now.
It wasn't that he wasn't relieved that Harry hadn't cut since that one time, it was that the change was so sudden. One did not get better over night and though it had been three weeks, it worried him that such a change could occur with no outside help.
Even Severus knew that his skills at conversation was not so good as to heal the boy so quickly.
Severus strolled resolutely up to where Harry and his two friends stood brewing their potion. When he was close enough he said as calmly as possible, "See me after class."
Of course the entire class, already quiet from concentrating on getting their potion right, heard his order and as one they turned to look at Harry. Harry simply ignored them and carried on with his potion without even a nod of consent to his professor.
"What was that about? Did you do something wrong?" Hermione leaned across to ask of Harry in a whisper.
Harry shook his head. "I don't know. I guess I'll find out at the end of class."
"He probably wonders how you managed to not have a detention and wants a reason to give you one," Ron declared softly.
"Don't be silly Ron. I don't think it's about that, not everything is about detentions and being mean you know," Hermione chided immediately.
She reached across him slowly so that her lips were just parallel with his throat. Then picking up the jar of fairy dust, she quickly straightened up and handed it to him. "Here add a sprinkle of this to your potion now. I'm sure you forgot to add it in and if you don't in the next few minutes the potion will disappear. Just be careful though, you know how rare fairy dust is."
Ron pouted and then glared. "Harry didn't add it in his either why don't you warn him about his potion disappearing too?"
Without a word but a roll of her eyes she quickly added a pinch of the ingredient to Harry's potion, hoping that Professor Snape didn't see.
"There. Happy now?"
Ron silently added a pinch to his own potion then returned to his work once again. Beside him, Hermione gave him a sad look but since he was ignoring both of them Ron missed the look entirely.
Harry merely shook his head at the two.
When all the students had exited the room at the end of the class, Severus closed the door and cast a silencing charm. Harry, who had been packing his stuff up and bottling his potion, finished just as Severus turned to him. Harry walked up to the front of the room to stand before his professor.
"Let me see your arms."
Harry bit back a smile but held out both arms just the same. Rolling back the sleeves of the robe, Severus quickly inspected the slightly muscular, lightly tanned arms. Except for the older scars, however, there was nothing of interest.
"Is there anywhere else I should be looking?" He asked but Harry shook his head.
"This is getting old Severus," Harry teased lightly. "You might have wanted to try a disillusion charm just in case. You never know, I could have used a spell or something."
Severus's eyes narrowed and he did just as was suggested but again there were no fresh wounds on Harry's skin.
"Are we finished?"
"No," Severus answered. "What is going on with you?"
Harry sighed then pulled up a chair. Severus leaned against his table and waited.
"There's nothing wrong. You know that," came the reply finally. "I thought we already established that I rather like...well...you know, talking to you and telling you if anything's upset me."
Severus folded his arms and stared intently at Harry. "You haven't come to see me in almost a week. I have it on good authority that your scar has been rather persistently hurting these nights. Not to mention that you have a Quidditch game today against Hufflepuff that everyone expects you to win and from what I've been seeing of Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley, they seem a bit pre-occupied with their own concerns of late than to be much use to you. Are you telling me that you haven't had to deal with this in three weeks?"
With downcast eyes Harry began fiddling with the nail on his thumb.
"Well, what a way to bring it all rushing back," he said softly. "Are you sure you're trying to help and not drive me to the brink?"
"Harry..." Severus began softly too and Harry had to bite back a smile suddenly. Severus had never actually used his first name before, opting mostly to not refer to him as anything at all. So Harry had to admit that such a rare occasion gave him the tiniest bit of joy in the pit of his stomach.
"Alright!" he interrupted not being able to stop the smile any longer. He looked up at his professor to see the expression that he was sure only he was privy to and felt the need as always these days to spill all his secrets to the man. Severus looking worried was really a thing Harry secretly liked.
"Alright," Harry began again. "There was one three days ago. It was tiny I swear! It's on my ankle and it's probably healed by now since I only used my quill and it barely bled."
Of course that confession meant that Severus wanted to see it himself to decide. So Harry had to remove his shoe and sock and wait for Severus to remove the concealment charm. It really was just a line of red scab, already on it's way to healing so Severus merely gave Harry a disapproving look and returned to leaning on his table.
"I don't care how small or shallow they are, I want to know," Severus said and again Harry nodded.
"You laugh a whole lot more and you're grades have been improving these past weeks, so I suppose that's good," Severus admitted more to himself than Harry. "But are you sure you're alright and this isn't a ploy of some sort?"
This time Harry laughed shortly and Severus was quick to note just how much better the boy did look when his eyes sparkled with amusement.
"Yes Severus, I'm fine!" Harry proclaimed still smiling.
"Alright, you may leave then," Severus said with a small sigh. Then he quickly removed the silencing charm.
By the time Harry had his stuff all packed and was heading out, he looked back at his professor, now seated around the table, and smiled sadly to himself.
There was of course no trace of anything in the man's now deep, dark, expressionless eyes. Severus was gone and Professor Snape was back.
"Harry! Oh my you took long in there, we tried but we couldn't hear a thing. Did he cast a silencing charm? What were you discussing anyway? He didn't try to - "
Hermione and Ron accosted him as soon as he stepped out the room with Hermione uncharacteristically asking him questions a mile a minute.
Smiling, he lied to her as best as he could and resolutely decided to see Severus later that night.
"Harry? Hey hold on a second."
Harry was fully dressed in his Quidditch uniform as the game was to begin within the next fifteen minutes. He had decided to take a breather away from the locker room, but mostly he wanted to be able to think outside the nervous chatter of his team-mates pre-game jitters.
He was a little surprised to see Hermione running towards him as he stood a little away from the Quidditch pitch watching it fill quickly with students.
As soon as she was close enough she ran right into his arms and encased him within a tight hug.
"I was almost afraid you weren't going to play today," she said still holding him tightly. "You haven't even mentioned it all day and even though you've been smiling more and more these past weeks I was so afraid that you weren't okay anymore and would want to give up Quidditch. You're so very good at it you know."
Harry slowly untangled himself from her suffocation grasp to look at her with a smile. "What are you going on about 'Mione?"
Hermione blushed. "I know Ron probably hasn't noticed a thing but I have. I know you must still feel so sad over Snuffles death and you haven't been eating much and haven't been talking or smiling a lot since you got back to Hogwarts. I know you hide it but I've just been a bit worried over you. You don't have to lie or anything. You don't even have to tell me what's wrong, but you seem to be getting a bit better and I'm happy. I might not be Ron, but we are best friends too you know. You can still tell me anything. I'm sure that you know by now that I keep secrets rather well."
Harry pulled her into a tight hug this time and eagerly she hugged him back just as tightly again.
"Thank you." He laughed as he pulled out of the hug again and smiled at her teasingly, "I'm surprised you noticed so much. I thought all your energy was bent solely on getting Ron to show some sign that he noticed you."
Hermione became an even brighter shade of red. "Surely I wasn't that obvious. Was I? Stupid git. I'm beginning to think I'm going about this the wrong way. He probably exchanged thinking with his rightful head with his latter one ever since he hit puberty. Maybe if he walked into his room one night and found me in his bed he'd get the picture. Merlin forbid it but I'm at the point that I might just resort to that."
"Hermione!" Harry scolded but he laughed. "That wasn't an image I particularly needed in my head. Neither did I need such crude words out of such a pretty mouth as yours. Scolding Ron or pestering him was always the wrong method from day one and I could have told you that and saved you all the trouble."
Hermione laughed and Harry smiled at her.
"Please don't sneak into our room and do the bed thing. I'd probably die of shock long before he realizes what is going on."
Again, she laughed, "I'll be sure to warn you and the others then if I resort to it."
Then she hugged Harry again. "You should go. The game is going to start soon. They'd all probably skin me if I keep the Gryffindor Seeker any longer."
"Alright then I'm off," he kissed her on her cheek before whispering, "I am alright now you know. You don't have to worry so much anymore."
She smiled again as she released him and Harry watched her run towards the stands before he made his way back into the locker room then through the tunnel which opened onto the pitch, with his team-mates.
As the Seamus called out the name of his team-mates Harry listened to the chanting of the crowd.
"Go! Go Gryffindor!"
Then with a laugh that flooded his entire system he mounted his broom and flew out into the evening sky.
As usual the Great Hall was encased in noise as Hermione, Ron and Harry entered for dinner. It was even more so as the Gryffindors began to cheer loudly. Harry had caught the snitch at the Quidditch match and Gryffindor had won two hundred and fifty to seventy. Even some of the students at the Hufflepuff table were cheering though they had lost. It had been a brilliant match and for the first years who had been sure to watch, it had been everything and more that they had been told.
Harry couldn't stop grinning.
He had felt so alive in the air that he couldn't believe he had ever lost interest in such an exhilarating sport. It was amazing and wonderful and he had a reason to smile and laugh again. He seemed to have forgotten so much over the year that being on the broom again, flying had brought back everything in such a rush.
"Congrat's Harry!" Dean shouted over the din from across the table as the Trio sat. "That dive you did was fantastic, and the spinning and the speed, it was all so bloody good!"
Harry smiled and nodded his thanks to the compliments. Hermione leaned over and gave Harry a quick hug and even added in a squeeze for good measure.
"He was right, you were brilliant today Harry," she said. It was meant to be a whisper in his ear but with the noise around them she had to raise her voice a little.
"Wasn't he brilliant Ron?" she asked.
The food had appeared so most of the students had began to dive right in. That didn't stop the noise though and if possible the level rose just a little more. Ron, who sat on the opposite side of Harry, seemed to be engrossed in starring at his plate of food but he wasn't eating and he wasn't talking. Hermione, thinking this was odd, figured the best way to get Ron to talk was to ask his direct opinion.
"Yes Hermione, he was brilliant," Ron answered, but he was looking at Harry when he spoke. "When is Harry never brilliant at something?"
Luckily, Dean and Seamus had began an uproar on their end when they transfigured their two forks into tiny brooms to relive the dive that had won their house the snitch. So Hermione didn't hear the end of Ron's statement, but Harry did. Only, Harry decided to dismiss it in all the excitement.
Fifteen minutes later, just when the noise level had died down, there was the unmistakable sound of flapping wings approaching. One of the first years students at the Ravenclaw table stood up and shouted, "Mail is here!" and the entire hall of students dissolved in laughter.
The owls entered, each of different size and color carrying packages and letters tied to their legs. There hadn't been mail all week and most of the students had begun to wonder what was happening beyond the gates of Hogwarts. As usual, since Harry wasn't expecting anything, he just kept on eating.
That was until Dean shouted, "Harry look out!"
Followed by Seamus', "Head's up Mate, she's going to let it loose!"
It was a good thing too since Harry barely had time to catch a glimpse of Hedgewig before the package she was carrying was release. Harry caught it just before it landed in his broth. The entire table watched as he unwrapped it from it's brown paper. All the Gryffindors, and even the younger ones had heard, that Harry rarely got mail, but when he did it was more than just boring letters or sweets.
They were not disappointed when Harry pulled the extra ordinary object from the ordinary looking box that held it. As expected more than one of the students gasped. Then the table once again exploded in chatter.
"Bloody hell Harry! Is that what we think it is?"
"Not even my father have one of those and he's a full grown wizard with a family to take care of!"
"Student's aren't allowed to have those. I know! I tried to get -"
For once Harry knew exactly what the object was but all he could do was stare in silence as everyone else discussed his good fortune. But it wasn't good fortune that made it necessary for him to have such a thing.
After all, not every ordinary wizard found need of a Pensieve.
He searched the package until he found the note he had assumed would be there and was not disappointed to find a small piece of paper attached to one side of the brown paper wrapping.
We thought you might need this to get you through the day.
There were no signatures on the note but Harry knew exactly who the 'we' referred to. He immediately looked towards the head table and found that most of the Professor's eyes were on him. Hagrid looked as if he was just bursting to shout something to Harry across the hall and it was taking all his self control not to rush over. Professor McGonagall gave him the tiniest of smiles before returning to her dinner. While Professor Flitwick was grinning from ear to ear and didn't seem the least bit as interested in his meal anymore. Dumbledore's eyes were in full blown twinkling mode though he only gave Harry the smallest of nod before turning to speak to McGonagall. Most important of all was Professor Snape...Severus.
He didn't nod and he didn't smile. All he did was to stare at Harry from across the room. His piecing black eyes held Harry's across the distance as if he was reading Harry's soul.
With a smile Harry mouthed 'Thank you' and only then did Severus look away. No smile. No nod. Nothing, but Harry knew that it must have taken a bit of persuasion from the man to get Dumbledore to agree to getting him a pensieve. Even if a little was all it probably took.
"Hey Ron, can you believe it? A pensieve!" Harry turned his attention to his best friend, "I actually always wanted one of these. Ever since I saw Dumbl -"
Before he could finish, Ron stood up to leave.
"Where're you going?" Harry asked, shocked. Hermione too had been surprised to see Ron leaving so quickly especially since he hadn't finished eating yet.
"I'm not hungry anymore," Ron proclaimed, but sat back down so as to not cause a scene.
Ron exploded at the warning tone in Hermione's voice. Since he was already facing Harry it didn't take much to realize that the onslaught was meant for his best friend.
"It isn't enough that you're Harry Potter is it? It isn't enough that people fall to their faces in their eagerness to be of service to you? You have all the money you can possibly want because everyone is willing to die and leave you their entire fortune. Women of all ages flock you as soon as they recognize who you are. You're not even a teacher's pet as you are the pet of the whole bloody Wizarding world! But I am your best friend Harry!"
He hadn't shouted the words. In fact they were spoken through clenched teeth and blazing eyes but for the five people in the closest proximity who were paying attention, they all went silent.
"Ron. Mate what the blazes are you talking about? What did Harry do?" Seamus was the first to recover enough to speak.
Neville and Dean looked utterly shocked at the outburst while Hermione had to physically wrench the fork that Harry was holding too tightly out of his visibly trembling hand. Quickly she laced her fingers with his and hoped that the other's didn't notice the trembles that were still obvious.
Ron hadn't finished speaking though.
"A pensieve Harry! No other sixteen year old is allowed to own a pensieve! But you Harry Potter gets whatever he desires doesn't he? You merely have to snap your fingers and someone runs to you!"
"Ron...if this is about the pensieve then let me explain why I was given it," Harry began softly but Ron cut him off.
"This isn't about the bloody pensieve! It's not even about the fact that you barely speak to me anymore. We've been at school for two months and I don't even know how your summer went! Yet, you still have the time to sneak out at nights when you think we're all sleeping. Don't think I don't know you do it once or twice and not a word to me. I thought we did everything together? Now you want to take the one thing I had away from me!"
Harry tried to speak again, "Ron if there's something I did -"
He was interrupted by Ron again. "If there's something you did! Yes there's something you did!"
He pointed to the clasped hands of Harry and Hermione, "You couldn't leave her could you? The one person who you know I fancy! You know it and now all I get to see is you and her walking around always hugging these days or whispering. I saw her and you on the quidditch pitch before the game today, talking and hugging again! Because Harry Potter gets everything he wants!"
"Ron!" Hermione warned again but Harry unclasped his hand from hers and stood.
"If that's the way you feel. If that's what you think of me. That I was trying to steal Hermione. Then you're wrong," Harry said softly.
Ron practically bounced to his feet, "Oh shut it Potter! I don't want to hear anything you have to say. I saw you two. I've been seeing it everywhere! You've probably just been too chickenshit to tell me you fancy her too!"
Of course, most of the table heard that one and everyone at the Gryffindor table went silent as they waited to hear what Harry would say or do in response.
Harry, however just turned and silently walked away.