Harry Potter and the Book of Shadows

Christmas at Number Twelve

Harry's jaw dropped. "You know each other?"

"Shush! Get in, get in!" Persephone pushed Harry through the open door, urging the other three in behind him.

Lupin didn't answer him as their trunks settled in an untidy pile by the stairs, instead he cast Persephone a confused look. "Where's Tonks?"

"That's a good question." Persephone took off her overcoat. "I don't know. When she was fifteen minutes late, I decided not to wait any longer and just took them myself." At Lupin's worried expression, she put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Don't worry. I'm sure she just got caught doing something at the Ministry where she couldn't get away or send a message she'd be late. You know how it's been lately."

Lupin just nodded. The four were watching them in stunned silence. Persephone gave Lupin a hard look and frowned. "You haven't been eating."

Harry wasn't sure what she meant, since now that he took a moment to have a better look at him, he would have said Lupin had gained some much needed weight since the last time they'd met.

Lupin frowned back. "You haven't been sleeping."

"Don't change the subject," Persephone said sharply. "Looks like being on time for the escort isn't the only assignment Tonks has been missing."

Blinking against the odd conversation, Harry shook himself and repeated his question, loudly, "You know each other?"

Unable to ignore him, Lupin and Persephone exchanged a look, clearly hoping the other would say something first. Harry felt anger replacing shock. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry looked accusingly at Lupin first then turned his glare on Persephone. Lupin was spared having to reply as a loud crack came from just outside the door, a sound Harry had come to know indicated someone had Apparated nearby. There was a feverish banging on the door and Lupin opened it.

"I went to the school, I was late, I know, but they called a last minute meeting and I couldn't get out of it or send an owl beforehand. Anyway, I went to the gate as soon as I could but they weren't there. I didn't want to take the time to run up to the school so I sent a message then came here. I'm hoping they just went back to wait-" It was then the breathless Tonks spotted Harry and the others. "Oh, they're here already! You didn't go on the Knight Bus alone, did you?" She didn't wait for a reply when she rounded on Lupin. "Remus, you told them they weren't to travel alone for any reason! And she let them go by themselves! They could have been attacked! I knew you shouldn't have asked her! I told you not to trust-" she broke off when she spotted Persephone standing unperturbedly by the stack of trunks. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at Persephone. "Hade."

"Tonks," she said mildly.

He and the others were still standing in dazed silence, Tonks' sudden appearance had not shed any light on the situation.

Lupin spoke hastily, "Well, you can see they made it here all right. We'd better send another message before someone thinks something's gone amiss."

"Well, if someone had stuck to the plan," Tonks muttered, shooting a dirty look at Persephone.

"I didn't think it was safe for them to just stand around all night," Persephone said evenly.

"I would have been there!" Tonks shot back.

Persephone casually glanced down at her watch then looked back at Tonks meaningfully, but said nothing, which seemed to only incense Tonks more.

"Though I don't know why they thought you should be the one to wait with them," Tonks said scathingly. "Not after that fiasco in Hogsmeade at Halloween."

Persephone's eyes flashed and Harry saw a muscle in her jaw twitch. Lupin stepped between them and held up his hands, "About that message...Dumbledore's probably wondering where everyone is."

Tonks was still glaring at Persephone. "I'll take care of it. They have us running double-duty at the Ministry, but I can send another message to Hogwarts before I have to go back."

"Not staying for dinner, then?" Lupin asked.

"No, can't tonight." Harry thought she did look rather disappointed. "Well, I'd better be off, then. Good to see you Harry. Sorry about missing you." She nodded at him and the others, who murmured vague, confused reassurances back.

She glanced at Persephone whose face was once again carefully schooled in an expression of indifference. Looking her up and down, Tonks eyed her clothes and said derisively, "Aren't you a little old for that outfit?"

Persephone merely raised an eyebrow, eyed Tonk's short, bubblegum pink hair then glanced at her Auror uniform, and said coolly, "Aren't you a little young for yours?"

Harry saw Lupin pinch the bridge of his nose with a shake of his head then sigh as Tonks whirled around with an indignant huff, disappearing back out the front door in a swish of robes. There was a loud crack, and they knew she had Disapparated.

It was then Harry noticed the entryway of Number twelve seemed...different somehow. While the old-fashioned gaslight lamps and serpent chandelier were the same, they looked to have been well cleaned and polished and so cast a brighter glow into the entry. Gone was the faded and peeling wallpaper, replaced by what looked like a fresh coat of moss green paint. The banister that had once ended in a serpent's head looked new, the wood of the plain round finial gleaming richly. Looking up the stairs, Harry noticed the house-elf heads that had once lined the wall were missing and looking down at the floor, what had once been a threadbare carpet was now polished hardwood covered by a soft Persian runner. The door leading to the drawing room also looked brand-new, and the troll-leg umbrella stand was conspicuously absent. Turning, he saw the floor-length curtains covering Mrs. Black's portrait were still there, though Harry thought they, too looked like they had been replaced. Instead, they were now soft velvet in a deeper shade of green to complement the paint on the walls.

He felt his anger rising. Why had it changed? Why had someone taken out all the things from Sirius' house and replaced them? Who had that someone been? What gave them the right to change things that weren't theirs to change?

"What is going on here?" he demanded to know. "Why is everything different? Who changed all this? And why didn't you tell me you knew each other?"

His voice had risen on every word and by the end, he was shouting quite loudly. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had taken a step back into the wall by the stairs and looked as though they wanted to flee up them. Lupin looked to Persephone, his expression clearly stating this was not going at all like he had planned, but she moved toward the three who were not yelling irately.

Furious he still wasn't being answered, Harry bellowed, "Well? Why won't you tell me what's going on? Why didn't you say you knew her from the beginning? How come no one ever tells me anything? Don't think I can handle it? Is that it?"

Hermione exchanged a look with Ron that clearly said Harry had just answered his own question. When Harry had paused to take a breath, Persephone ushered the other three up the first few steps, enchanting their trunks to float complacently along once again. She gave Lupin a sympathetic look, but said quite distinctively, "Why don't I get these three settled in and you can go down to the kitchen?" She paused on the bottom stair as the other three continued on and asked, "Where's the Pest?"

Lupin shrugged, though he seemed glad for the momentary distraction. "Somewhere around. Waiting to pounce from some shadowy corner, no doubt."

Persephone smiled at that, which only fueled Harry's anger. What were they talking about now? She must have caught his glare because she gave Lupin a significant look and nodded toward the kitchen staircase.

Lupin looked like he would rather have drunk a bottle full of undiluted bubotuber pus, but nodded, saying to a still-glaring Harry, "Why don't we go downstairs?"

Harry, still fuming, but sure everything was about to be explained, stormed down the staircase, feeling as though everyone knew what was going on but him yet again. He was sick of it. They'd done the same thing last year after the dementor attack. Don't tell Potter anything, oh no, he doesn't need to know what's going on. Wouldn't want to upset him, after all. For once, Harry thought heatedly, he'd like to be someone other than the last person to find out everything. He stubbornly ignored the fact that Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had looked just as surprised as he when they arrived.

Dropping into the closest chair, Harry glared at Lupin's back as he put a kettle of water on to heat and added tea bags to two mugs, Harry thought rather slower than was necessary. Here too, things were not the same. The cabinetry was new, painted a soft buttery yellow that made the room seem warm and cozy rather than cavernous and dark. Years of soot and neglect had been scrubbed from the stones of the floor and walls. The table in front of him was the same as he remembered, as was the chair he sat on, and Harry felt a tiny bit of his anger fade, knowing something familiar, at least, was still there. A few new sconces lined the wall, and the chandelier above the table was something Harry definitely did not remember being there before, though he grudgingly admitted it added much needed light to the room. The sink and counters looked reassuringly familiar and having completed his survey of the room, Harry's eyes settled on Lupin who now sat across from him, looking weary and somewhat apprehensive.

Seeing Lupin's prematurely lined face and graying hair, Harry felt the rest of his anger drain out of him, though he wished he could hold onto it. It was so much easier to feel angry than remember the cause of the cold knot of guilt that seemed to have found permanent residence in the pit of his stomach. Now that he thought about it, Sirius had probably left the house to Lupin and it was his to do with as he wished. Avoiding Lupin's gaze, Harry looked at the new cabinetry again, telling himself Sirius would have liked the change, and probably would have done something similar himself, eventually.

Lupin stared into the mug that held only the dry teabag, as if he didn't know where to begin. After a moment, he sighed and said, "I owe you an apology."

This was not at all what Harry was expecting. It must have shown on his face because when Lupin looked up, he went on, "You have every right to be angry. We shouldn't have changed things in your house without asking you first but-"

Harry shook himself. He must have heard wrong. "My house?"

The kettle whistled and Lupin looked grateful for the momentary distraction. Fetching the hot water and filling their mugs, he sat silently for a moment, adding sugar to his tea. Then looking at Harry squarely, said, "Sirius willed the house, and everything in it, to you."

Harry blinked in surprise. "To me?"

Lupin seemed to gather his thoughts and Harry suddenly wondered how many times and how many versions of this very conversation Lupin had practiced. "After we finished at the Ministry that night, and we knew Dumbledore had taken you back to Hogwarts, the rest of us came back here. We found a roll of parchment, Sirius' will, stating Number Twelve and everything in it, now belonged to you. Of course, we told Dumbledore right away, but he thought it best to give you some time to," he seemed to be searching for the right wording, "come to terms with Sirius' death, I suppose. Dumbledore had intended to discuss it with you as soon as you had gone to the Burrow for the summer, but then the Ministry retracted-"

Lupin broke off, and Harry saw the hand that was nervously stirring his tea had clenched into a tight fist. After a moment, his hand relaxed and Lupin went on, "Well for one, you did not seem to be coming to terms with anything-" Harry started to protest but Lupin held up a hand. "Not that we expected you to just get on with it just like that, and after the Ministry support was suddenly no longer there, we were all rather upset. You had become even more distant over the summer and so Dumbledore thought he might give you until term started before adding the fact you were now the owner of Siruis' house to all you had to think about. No one protested, because at the time, the house wasn't in any shape for you to claim anyway."

Harry looked at Lupin, confused. "What do you mean it wasn't in any shape for me to claim? We'd made it pretty livable by the end of last year-"

Lupin looked down as though unable to bear Harry's gaze any longer. "When the Ministry retracted everything, made it out that Voldemort wasn't back, that everything that had happened, hadn't... it was like they'd said Sirius had died for nothing. That all we had done, all we had suffered, and are going to suffer now that Voldemort is back, was meaningless. That none of it had happened at all. I couldn't stand it, couldn't bear that thought. I know it didn't solve anything, and it really only made things worse, but..." Lupin looked up, and Harry could see the shame and self-loathing in his eyes. "I destroyed it, Harry. Everything that bore the feel of dark wizards, everything that reminded me of the people who had stood with Voldemort, who had killed Sirius, which as you know, was most everything, I destroyed."

Harry sat in shock. It wasn't the reason he was expecting for why everything looked so new, but he could picture it. Having lost his best friend for the second time, knowing he was the last of them, Harry had an inkling of the rage and pain Lupin must have felt. He did not blame Lupin for wanting to take it out on the environment that had contributed to Sirius' desperate need to join them in the Ministry that night. Somehow, he thought if he had come back to Number Twelve in the days and weeks following the night at the Ministry, he might have done the same.

In that moment, Harry realized something else. By refusing to talk about what had happened in the Ministry of Magic that night, by ignoring everything that had happened since, he was no better than the Minister of Magic himself. Harry knew he had resolutely avoided discussing Sirius' death because by talking about it, it made it real. Permanent. Some part of him thought if he could pretend it hadn't happened for just a bit longer, it was as if there was still the hope that Sirius might come back. But there was no chance of that, and suddenly he understood ignoring Sirius' death made the sacrifice seem worthless. It was time to stop pretending and acknowledge the thing that he had so stubbornly refused to admit: Sirius was gone and there was nothing Harry could do to bring him back. He could only go on; continuing to fight for what Sirius had died for.

Lupin waited patiently as Harry sat, lost in his own thoughts. Looking up for a split second, Harry hoped Lupin didn't think he was just trying to understand why he'd destroyed the house, but somehow, he seemed to know Harry was struggling with weightier thoughts than that. Tears threatened, but Harry was still not quite ready to let them go.

Feeling a bit ashamed of his behavior since the summer, Harry searched for something to say. Realizing he had made quite a racket in the entry but Mrs. Black had not woken up to join in as he would have expected, he made a connection. Looking intently at a nick in the table Harry asked, "Is that why Mrs. Black's portrait didn't start yelling just now?"

"We've been putting Silencing Charms on the painting just in case, but it is in rather bad shape. She occasionally glares at someone from the little canvas left in the frame, but the curtains hardly ever open anymore," Lupin said.

"That's why you went to America with Buckbeak." As soon as he said it, Harry realized it must be true.

Lupin nodded. "Dumbledore thought it would be good for me to...get away for a while. He found a magical creature refuge that agreed to take Buckbeak and there was a place not far where I could stay while we worked everything out."

"Fraser Farm. That's where you met Persephone." Things were beginning to make sense now. Lupin nodded. "Why did you bring her back here, then?"

"She didn't tell you?" Lupin asked, though he did not seem surprised. When Harry replied in the negative, Lupin only shrugged and said, "It's not really important."

"Are you..." Harry started to guess, then stopped himself, only finishing embarrassed, when Lupin gave him a curious look, "um, together?"

Lupin looked startled. "Me and Seph? No."

Harry shifted a bit uncomfortably, trying to think of something else to say. "Why do you call her that?"

"What, Seph?" He shrugged. "Her name's a bit long, I suppose and I didn't care for the nickname she had at the ranch. Thought it was a bit mean."

A memory sparked in Harry's mind. "The runespoor Hagrid borrowed from the ranch for our class called her Bas." Harry thought to himself for a moment, then continued, "What's so bad about that?"

Lupin smiled ruefully. "They all had nicknames at the ranch based on which magical creature they most reminded the others of, though even those ended up shortened. One of the other girls, about Tonk's age, they called Uni- for Unicorn because she was tiny, had very light hair, and was incredibly shy. The first person I met there went by Abrax- short for Abraxan because he was, to be blunt, very large. Somehow I escaped one, but I think only because I wasn't there long enough. As for Seph, Bas isn't so bad, but that is the shortened version of it."

Lupin seemed to be waiting for Harry to figure it out. Once again, Harry felt a flare of annoyance at the lack of a straight answer. However, after a moment of consideration, it dawned on him. "Basilisk."

Smiling, Lupin nodded. "A little unfair. She was more like the Granian than anything else, I thought."

Thinking about it, Harry realized Lupin had probably been there when she had found Free. "How so?"

"Well, I know you saw that stunt she pulled with McGonagall at the Welcoming Feast." Smirking he shook his head. "It's like that, the more you push her, the harder she pushes back, but if you give her a choice, she's pretty willing. Hmmm, now that I think about it, they probably should have called her Devil's Snare."

"How did you hear about that?" Harry asked, surprised.

"She told me," Lupin replied.

"You've been talking to her since-" Harry stopped as Lupin finished for him.

"Since the beginning of term, yes."

So that's why she sat with us those first few days. Lupin probably asked her to check up on me. Frowning, Harry remembered the other question he'd yelled in the entry of Number Twelve. "Why didn't she tell us?"

With a sigh, Lupin said, "Because I asked her not to." Without even waiting for Harry to ask, he went on, "Since Dumbledore hadn't told you about Sirius leaving you the house, I wasn't sure if I should tell you what I'd been doing all summer." There was a slight pause. "And I'll be honest, I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell you about all that or the house, either. I kept saying I was going to send it in a letter or come to see you in Hogsmeade." He shrugged and Harry sensed he should just drop it there.

He didn't mind as there were other, more important things he needed to know, anyway. Before he could talk himself out of it, Harry dropped his gaze and said, "Before you left, I heard you talking to Mrs. Weasley." He almost didn't want to hear the answer but he couldn't bear not knowing any longer. "She asked you if you believed it when you said it wasn't my fault, but you said..." Harry couldn't say any more. Lupin hadn't actually said yes, but it was close enough.

Chancing a quick glance up, Harry immediately wished he hadn't said anything at all. Lupin looked stricken, and covered his eyes with his hands. "I am so sorry, Harry. I didn't know you'd heard that. If I'd known, I would have told..." he fell silent again.

Not knowing what to make of that response, Harry asked hesitantly, "Did...do you think that-"

"No!" Lupin said emphatically, and looked up at him. "No, Harry. It was not your fault. It was just...at the time I blamed everyone for what had happened. Dumbledore for forcing Sirius to stay here for so long and not finding anything for him to do, Severus for goading him about it-"

"You're right! You should blame Snape!" Harry agreed heatedly. "If he hadn't taunted Sirius-"

But Lupin was shaking his head in disagreement. "No, Harry. He may have pushed Sirius before, but that night, he did everything he could to make sure we found you and Sirius stayed here."

"So you blame Sirius for going, then?" Harry asked heatedly.

"I did," Lupin admitted. "He shouldn't have gone, but mostly I blamed myself for letting him go."

"What could you have done?" Harry felt his flare of anger fading. It was a question he tortured himself with for many nights, because he had since thought of a great many things he could have done differently.

Lupin sighed and looked exhausted. "I don't know, Harry. More than what I did. Tied him to a chair, done the Full Body Bind, knocked him out with a Sleeping Draught, something. Anything. But I didn't."

"You couldn't have stopped him if he wanted to go," Harry said quietly. And for the first time, he believed it. Picturing Sirius in the Full Body Bind, tied to chair and knocked out with a Sleeping Draught, Harry laughed a little. Catching himself, he looked up and saw Lupin's faint smile and knew he'd been picturing the same thing.

Needing a break, if only for a second, Harry looked past Lupin to the door to the small cramped room that held the boiler. Anger flared again. "What about Kreacher? He lied to me! If he hadn't said Sirius was gone- Is he still here?"

Lupin looked over his shoulder, then back at Harry. "Yes, he is. And along with the house, he is also yours now."

Harry made a disgusted face. "I don't want him. Where is he? Why isn't he lurking around muttering to himself?" Harry looked at Lupin. "Is that who you were talking about when Persephone asked where the pest was? Is that what you call him now?"

Lupin's brow furrowed. "Pest? Oh, no. Pest is a kneazle. Noir's brother, in fact. Seph didn't plan on taking him, too, but he'd hidden in my bag, as we found out later. We call him Pest, because...well, he is. You'll see. Friendliest kneazle I've ever seen. As for Kreacher," Lupin studied the table. "He hid in the attic when I...and well, even since we put everything back together, Kreacher hardly ever comes out. He's terrified of me now. Hasn't said a word since."

Harry couldn't summon any pity for the house-elf. "Good. He's said enough already."

"I hope, Harry, that you'll find a way to work with Kreacher," Lupin said gently.

"I'll think of something," Harry muttered, hating the idea Kreacher was now his responsibility. He didn't care that even Dumbledore had said Kreacher was the product of what wizards had made him. He hated the foul little beast.

Lupin took a deep breath. "Harry, you have to know that I, that none of us, blame you for what happened."

Harry resolutely avoided Lupin's gaze. Guilt welled up. Lupin had admitted that at one point he, Harry, had shared the fault in his mind, even though he said he no longer blamed him. That Lupin had ever thought it at all was enough.

"Harry. Harry, look at me."

Reluctantly, Harry did. Lupin's eyes were tired, but sincere. "It was not your fault."

The list of things he could have done ran through Harry's mind and guilt surged again. "But if I had used the mirror-"

"It wasn't your fault," Lupin repeated, not breaking eye contact.

"If I had done occlumency properly," Harry's voice broke.

"It wasn't your fault."

It was the conviction in not only his voice, but in Lupin's expression, that finally broke Harry's defenses. The words he had wanted, needed, so desperately to hear had finally been spoken, by the one person he most need to hear them from. Maybe the blame did not lie solely with him, but to Harry's mind a part of it always would, just as he knew in Lupin's mind, he felt an equal part lay with him. Something in the shared pain allowed Harry to finally let go. Hot tears spilled from his eyes, and he quickly looked away, squeezing them shut, though he couldn't stop the flow. He heard the scrape of a chair and felt Lupin sit next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. Neither said anything for a long time.

Finally, feeling drained, Harry wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, though he still couldn't bring himself to look at Lupin. It felt as though the tight band of anguish constricting his chest for so long had loosened a bit, though the pain was still there. Harry allowed himself a moment before he spoke again. There were still difficult questions left he needed to ask.

"What happened to Bellatrix? She got away that night." Harry hated the way her name felt in his mouth, hated fouling the air of the kitchen of Grimmauld place with it. If blame for Sirius' death belonged anywhere, it was squarely on her shoulders. Clinging to that thought, Harry looked to Lupin.

Lupin looked as though he was considering his answer carefully, then said simply, "She's dead."

Harry stared at the table, not sure what to feel at this news. Comforted by the thought his godfather's killer was not free to wreak havoc and destruction on others? Satisfaction that she had not survived in Sirius' place? Disappointment that it was not he who had caused her death? Harry did not like his last thought, but it brought to mind a new question.

Having seen it in his face, Lupin continued, "We think Voldemort had her killed, if he didn't do it himself. She, and the rest of his Death Eaters, had failed spectacularly at the Ministry and he most likely wanted to make an example of someone."

"Why would he want to reduce the number of his supporters?" Harry asked, confused.

Lupin actually smiled at this. "You are amazing, Harry." Not waiting for Harry to ask why, Lupin went on, "Judging by her behavior that night and probably during other events we don't know about, I don't think he felt assured she was the most...stable member of his followers. Besides, Voldemort never really held much faith in the capabilities of women in general. Look how few of his Death Eaters are female. I doubt he considered her all that essential."

A sudden thought struck Harry, Lucius Malfoy was most certainly a Death Eater, but was Draco's mother? He'd never heard her name associated with them. Was it she merely supported them but had not been allowed to join?

He pushed the thoughts aside, thinking he'd mull them over later. Recalling the back issues of The Daily Prophet he had read, did not remember there being any news about Bellatrix's death in the paper. Surely even if the Ministry wasn't saying Voldemort was back, the death of an escaped Death Eater would have been a good thing for them to announce on the front page. "How come it wasn't in the Daily Prophet?"

"The Ministry doesn't know. Only Voldemort's supporters and the Order know she's dead," Lupin replied.

Something occurred to him. "Has anyone told Neville?"

Lupin looked taken aback. "I can't imagine they have."

"I think he deserves to know," Harry said quietly.

"You really are extraordinary, Harry," Lupin said again, looking at Harry with what he almost thought was admiration.

"Was it the Killing Curse?" Harry asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. He didn't want to acknowledge the small part of him that hoped it hadn't been that quick and painless a death.

Shaking his head, Lupin answered, "No, something else killed her. We aren't sure what. From what we do know, it sounded like it might have been some kind of animal: Voldemort's snake or even a werewolf."

Suddenly, Harry remembered a dream he'd had months ago, of running and attacking someone, a woman. At the time, he couldn't remember who the woman in the dream had been, but now, her face was clear. It was Bellatrix. He felt sick at the memory now that he knew what it was. "It wasn't Nagini."

Startled, Lupin gave him an odd look. "What?"

"Voldemort's snake. It wasn't her. I dreamt...I don't know who it was, but they had feet, they'd run and attacked." The dream came back fully and Harry looked up, not liking the look on Lupin's face. "Voldemort's not an animagus, is he?"

"Not that we know of, Harry. When did you dream this?" Lupin asked worriedly.

"Months ago. Just before I'd started occlumency again. Is he possessing other people?" Harry couldn't imagine how he'd been in the killer's head otherwise.

"I don't think he can now that he has his own body. Maybe if he was using occlumency at the time and seeing...Severus would know better than I," the last was said more to himself than Harry. "How are your occlumency lessons going?"

Attempting to look confident, Harry said, "I've been improving, I think. I've been practicing," he stopped just before he said 'with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny', not knowing if Lupin would approve, and hastily added, "a lot."

A dreadful thought occurred to him at that moment and he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it when he'd been reading the chapter about dreams in Snape's book. Voldemort had changed his dreams, he'd fabricated the one of Sirius being tortured, luring him to the Ministry. While he hadn't since starting occlumency again, Harry had had the vision-dreams of Voldemort and what he was doing since that night. But if Voldemort now knew about his connection with Harry, why hadn't he done something about it? Was it he who was causing the waking nightmares? Harry had been almost certain before that someone wasn't changing his dreams that they were in fact, nightmares he was channeling from someone else, but now he wasn't sure. Why hadn't Snape been more concerned when Harry had the nightmare during a lesson?

Having seen the look on his face, Lupin leaned forward, concerned. "Harry, what's wrong?"

"If I've had visions of what Voldemort's doing, why hasn't he tried to break into my mind again? I've gotten better at occlumency, but I'm not that good yet." Close to panic at these thoughts, Harry was not reassured by Lupin's expression.

"I'm not the one to ask, Harry. Are you sure he hasn't been trying?" Lupin asked worriedly.

But now Harry wasn't at all sure. "I don't know."

Lupin got up and took a box from the countertop. Harry realized what he was doing as Lupin threw a pinch of glittery Floo powder into the fireplace and kneeled down. Not wanting to be left out, and telling himself he deserved to be a part of the conversation, Harry went to kneel next to him. Taking the fact that Lupin shifted to make space for him to mean he was welcome there, Harry put his own head in the green flames. A familiar room swirled into view.

Dumbledore's face appeared, peering into the fire. "Lupin. Is something wrong?"

Harry felt a wave of relief, followed quickly by one of dread. Just behind Dumbledore, he saw Snape standing, looking displeased about something.

Lupin, however, seemed relieved. "Severus, good. This concerns you as well."

Snape merely raised an eyebrow, but grudgingly approached the fire. Dumbledore spoke first, much to Harry's relief. "What is it?"

Lupin nudged Harry. Hesitantly, Harry began, "Well, I was just...it's just that, I've had visions of Voldemort since, well, since last summer. Not a lot of them." He avoided Snape's sharp gaze, instead focusing on Dumbledore. "But by the end of last year he knew about them. I mean he made me see that vision," Harry stopped, sure they all knew which one he meant. "How come he hasn't tried again since? Or has he? I've had those nightmares..."

Not sure if Snape had told Dumbledore about them, Harry trailed off. As he didn't seem surprised to hear it, Harry guessed he had. Dumbledore regarded him for a moment, and then spoke in a calm tone, "I do not think Voldemort knows that you have continued to have visions of what he is doing, nor do I think he is the cause of your nightmares."

Relief swept through Harry, quickly followed by confusion. "But how do you know?"

This time Snape answered, "The dreams you seem to be channeling are not of the nature of someone like the Dark Lord, nor does he share your...lack of control. Most likely they belong to someone in your dormitory, someone who is projecting their thoughts and fears while they are asleep. Since you are at a point in your occlumency where you are susceptible to picking up these thoughts, you are reading them as they happen."

"But why hasn't Voldemort tried again? He knows he can do it. I'm not that good at occlumency," catching Snape's eye Harry added, "yet."

"It may be that since his last attempt in the Ministry, he believes you have found a way to use the love you feel for those close to you as a barrier. He may be under the impression you have used this to your advantage. That is not to say that you should depend on that assumption to keep him out," Dumbledore said, gravely. "But for now, I think that he has stopped attempting to use you to gain information. Have you had any visions since the last one you mentioned to me?"

Thinking, the last one Harry remembered telling Dumbledore was the one where he had discovered Voldemort had the Draguseni book. Since then, it had only been the channeled nightmares. He shook his head. "I don't think so. Just those nightmares. But before that, I'd had a vision of someone being killed." Harry paused then said, "It was Bellatrix."

Both Dumbledore and Snape looked surprised at this. Dumbledore asked, "What did you see?"

Harry thought hard, trying to remember. "It was nighttime. They were running through the trees, they'd been running for a while. I remember they felt tired. But then they saw her and...attacked." Harry didn't want to describe the feeling of jaws sinking into flesh and the horrible snap of neck bones. "If Voldemort isn't an animagus, how come I saw it from the killer's point of view, like I did last year with the snake and Mr. Weasley?"

Dumbledore considered. "If by chance, he was using occlumency at the time you connected, you would have seen the memory as he was seeing it. That might also have shielded your presence from him. He would have expected there to be other thoughts and feelings in the mind he was searching and would have ignored you as such. That is, if he felt you at all."

Harry felt relieved at this, but his original worry still lingered. "You really don't think he's been trying to break into my mind again?"

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "I would not be surprised if your lessened number of visions is the result of Voldemort making more of an effort to block you out, Harry. He does not want you knowing what he is up to. As for your waking nightmares, they do not seem to be related to anything we know about what Voldemort is doing. I agree with what Professor Snape suggested, they most likely belong to someone in your dormitory."

Knowing this, Harry felt better. He took a chance and looked at Snape. "Do you know who those nightmares belong to?"

Snape's expression was unreadable, but he said clearly, "No."

"Was that all?" Dumbledore inquired politely. Harry realized how uncomfortable he must be as his own knees were aching.

"Um, yeah. That was it," Harry said quickly.

Dumbledore smiled at him. "Well, then I will wish you good night. Good to hear you arrived safely."

Dumbledore's head disappeared, but Snape's remained and looked to Lupin, frowning. "Persephone has not returned."

Lupin blinked in surprise. "That's because she's still here. Didn't Tonks say Seph had brought Harry and the others here in her message?"

"It wasn't clear where she had gone after leaving them with you," Snape said. Without waiting for Lupin to say anything else, he disappeared.

Harry and Lupin sat back from the fire, Harry's head spun for a few moments before he felt normal enough to stand up. Returning to sit at the table, Lupin stirred his overly strong tea, finally removing the teabag.

His head reeling from all the new information, Harry took a small sip of his own tea, making a face when he realized he had forgotten to add sugar. While he was glad to have finally gotten some answers, and felt a huge relief that his long-dreaded conversation with Lupin was, for the most part, over, he still felt unsure about what was going on. He latched onto the most mundane of his problems, not ready to face the more severe ones of Voldemort and what he was up to.

"I suppose I'll have to figure out what owning a house is all about," Harry said, feeling a bit daunted. He'd heard his uncle's tirades about bills and upkeep often enough to wonder how he was going to handle it.

Lupin smiled reassuringly. "Well, you have a year before the house is technically yours." At Harry's confused look, Lupin elaborated, "Until you come of age, seventeen in the wizarding world, the house and the rest of what Sirius left you will be in held in trust."

"Oh." Harry thought that made sense. "Who...Dumbledore?"

With a small laugh, Lupin shook his head. "For whatever reason, Sirius left that to me." He looked up at the ceiling. "I wonder how much Seph's told the others."

His gaze following Lupin's, Harry wondered the same thing. "Ginny got something out of her, I'm sure."

"Should we go find out?" Lupin suggested, standing. He quickly sat back down and added, "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley should be arriving for dinner soon, but if you'd rather have something in your room, I understand. This has been a lot for one day."

Shaking his head, Harry stood. "No, I've been avoiding everyone long enough." He stopped. "Um, thanks. For everything."

"I should have told you sooner, Harry. I'm sorry I didn't," Lupin said as they left the kitchens to join the others upstairs.

As they climbed the flights of stairs to the drawing room on the second floor, Harry felt lighter, somehow. Ignoring his surprise and anger that he had not been told that Lupin and Persephone had known each other, Harry admitted to himself talking with Lupin hadn't gone quite as horribly as he had expected. In fact, he thought it had gone rather well.

Relief showed on every face as they walked into the room, making Harry wonder if they'd expected his talk with Lupin to have ended in a duel or him running away from Grimmauld Place. Thinking back to the summer and his friends' numerous attempts to talk to him since the beginning of term, Harry realized their fear wasn't unreasonable and again, felt a bit ashamed of his behavior.

He was going to ask how much Persephone had told them, but thought better of it. By the looks they were giving Lupin, he figured Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had a good idea of what had happened over the summer. Persephone looked to Lupin in silent question and he gave her a little nod.

As if to stave off the uncomfortable silence that loomed, Lupin walked over, pulled the wand out of her hair, and handed to her saying exasperated, "Would you stop putting that there."

She muttered something Harry didn't catch but that made Ginny giggle. Harry spied a ball of brown and black fuzz leap from Ginny's lap to the floor. When the half-grown kitten stretched and yawned, revealing wide pink jaws full of sharp teeth, Harry realized it must be the kneazle kitten, Pest.

Comprehension dawned on Ginny's face. "So that's who you threw in the lake!"

"Pulled into the lake," Persephone corrected. She narrowed her eyes at Lupin. "Right?"

He held up his hands in surrender. "Yes, you did."

The others looked confused, but Harry figured they'd get the story out of Ginny later. Another look of understanding passed across Ginny's face.

She turned to Persephone, here eyes narrowed. "That day by the forest, when you had the ferns, it was him you were talking to, wasn't it?"

A memory surfaced in Harry's mind, and he finally realized who Persephone had been talking to that night he seen her talking to what looked like thin air. He thought the other voice had sounded familiar. "I heard you talking to him on the astronomy tower!" He turned to Lupin. "You must have been under an invisibility cloak."

Persephone's mouth opened in surprise. She pressed it in a thin line, glared at Lupin then without warning, smacked the back of his head.

"Ow!" Lupin rubbed his head, but he did look a bit sheepish.

She continued to glare at him. "I told you you'd get caught! Meanwhile I'm talking to no one over the castle. I can't imagine what they thought..." Persephone put a hand to her forehead.

"I did think that werewolf comment was a bit odd." Ginny mused, then looked at Persephone and mock-accused, "You told me you were talking to yourself!"

Persephone crossed her arms and gave Lupin an 'I-told-you-so' look. "I might as well have been. He never listens to me. 'No one will know', he says."

Lupin frowned at her. "Well, they didn't say anything, did they?" Persephone shot him a look. "Anyway, I don't like you wandering that forest alone. The centaurs..."

She waved him off. "I'm all right with the centaurs."

Lupin gave her a skeptical look but said nothing.

"Why..." Harry started, but he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"I just wanted to see you were doing all right." Lupin confirmed his thought.

A knock at the front door interrupted the conversation. Lupin looked to Ron and Ginny. "That'll probably be your parents."

Persephone headed for the door. "I should get something started for dinner."

"You're staying, then?" Lupin asked, obviously surprised.

She rolled her eyes. "In the face of that enthusiasm, how can I resist?"

Lupin pitched a throw pillow at her, which she deftly caught in one hand and dropped into a chair throwing him a mock haughty look in return. After she exited the room, they heard the front door locks clicking, followed by muffled greetings in the hallway. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley bustled in the door, hugging everyone within reach.

"Oh, Harry, it's so good to see you!" Mrs. Weasley crushed him in a hug then held him at arm's length to have a look at him. "You're looking a pit peaky." She hugged him again. "But better."

She turned to Hermione and repeated the process. "How are you, dear? Holding up all right? Don't worry, Arthur's been making sure things move along as quickly as possible at the Ministry. And Kingsley's put your parents in top priority, they'll be out by Christmas, don't worry." Mrs. Weasley fussed over her a bit longer, then turned to her own children.

Mr. Weasley had grabbed Harry's hand and was shaking it vigorously. "All right, Harry?"

And for the first time, Harry meant it when he replied, "Yes, thank you."

Having completed her rounds of greetings, Mrs. Weasley turned a shrewd eye on them all, finally coming to rest on Lupin. "Tonks missed the escort, I take it?"

Lupin nodded. Mr. Weasley shook his head in exasperation. "All those ridiculous meetings they keep the Aurors tied up in. Should be out there-"

Mrs. Weasley put a calming hand on his arm and he sighed. "Persephone said she was starting dinner. She's staying, then?"

When Lupin nodded, Mrs. Weasley gave him an odd look. "So I take it Tonks isn't coming back tonight?"

Lupin looked surprised at her correct guess, but said, "She said she had to go back to the Ministry."

In light of this odd conversation, Ginny took the opportunity to ask something they'd all been wondering since they'd seen Tonks and Persephone in the entrance hall. "Why don't Tonks and Persephone like each other?"

The adults exchanged awkward looks. Finally, Mrs. Weasley said, "Like Crups and Kneazles, those two." She shrugged as if she didn't understand it, but Harry had the feeling she knew exactly what was going on. "Just didn't seem to take to one another."

She shot a furtive look at Lupin who didn't seem to notice. He frowned slightly. "I don't know, I had hoped they'd be friends. Tonks just didn't like her from the start." He looked to Harry. "To be honest, I haven't seen instant dislike like that since, well, since your father and Severus, Harry."

"Now there was a strange introduction," Mr. Weasley said, almost to himself. When he noticed everyone looking at him curiously, he seemed to realize he'd said it out loud. "Oh! I didn't mean your father, and Professor Snape, Harry. Can't say I was there to see that. Persephone and Professor Snape."

The curiosity in the room was palpable and Mr. Weasley looked as though he wished he hadn't said anything at all.

"Well?" Ron prompted.

Mrs. Weasley cast her husband an exasperated look, then said, "Well, I thought Professor Snape might have been suspicious of what Remus had told her about him and um...well, he had reason to be wary. But the look on her face when they shook hands was..." She straightened without finishing. "Though I have to say, all the introductions were rather..."

"Unexpected?" Lupin supplied, though it was clear from her expression that was not the descriptive Mrs. Weasley would have chosen.

"Well, I'm sure you're all hungry," Mrs. Weasley said crisply, changing the subject. "I should go help Persephone in the kitchen."

Ginny and Ron made to dutifully follow, expecting to help, but Mrs. Weasley waved them back. "No, no. You've all had a bit of a day. You can stay here until we call for you."

Casting her husband and Lupin significant looks, the adults left the room. Harry looked to where Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stood across from him, an awkward silence hanging in the empty space between them.

The three opposite him shifted nervously for another second before Ron finally said, "So...all right, Harry?"

Harry was about to reply 'fine', but realized that word had long ago lost that meaning for the four of them. He smiled hesitantly, for the first time not angry one of his friends had asked. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right."

Reading the sincerity in his reply, the other three seemed to almost sag with relief. Harry, Ron, and Hermione arranged themselves on the comfortable sofa, Ginny curling in an armchair closer to the fire, facing them. Pest, who had sat in an empty chair, haughtily ignoring everything up until that point, spied Harry's loose shoelace, and with a brief anticipatory wiggle, pounced on it, untying the knot in a matter of seconds.

They laughed at the half-grown kneazle's antics for a moment before Harry, curious to know what Persephone had told them, asked, "So what did you find out?"

Hermione looked down the new Persian rug's colors gleaming richly in the firelight. "She told us why everything is new."

Ron nodded and glanced around the room, "I have to say, it looks loads better than before." He stopped, horrified, and turned to Harry, "I didn't mean...I mean ...it..."

Harry gave a little laugh. "It's all right. I think it looks better this way, too. Honestly, I think Sirius would be happy they redid it all."

The room went absolutely still. Harry sat confused for a moment, then realized it was because that was probably the first time he'd said Sirius' name since the summer.

Ginny was the first to recover, picking up the conversation as if nothing of significance had been said at all. "Wait till you see the bedrooms, they're really nice. We each get our own this time, too." Harry's eyebrows raised in surprise at the rare luxury. "Well, since Fred and George are staying at their own place in Hogsmeade and Mum and Dad are staying at the Burrow, it'll just be us four and Lupin most of the time. Though Persephone said some of the Order stay the night now and again." She lowered her voice a bit and leaned forward. "To keep an eye on him, I think."

Harry glanced around the room and admired the changes. Gone were the dank, shadowy corners. The old, musty, boxed-up smell had been replaced by the fresh, clean scent of beeswax wood polish. Everything seemed to be soft and glowing. He wondered who had kept up with the cleaning, since he doubted Lupin spent his days dusting and polishing, and it certainly hadn't been Kreacher.

He was just settling against the soft cushions when he sat up suddenly. "Who paid for all this?"

They seemed surprised Lupin hadn't told him, but Harry hadn't thought to ask before. Hermione answered, "Well, everyone in the Order helped out a bit. They thought they should since they'd been using it for their headquarters for so long."

Ginny nodded. "I think they liked the idea of doing something to give back a little." They could tell she was picturing Order members fixing up walls and rearranging furniture. "Though I bet they had a better time of it than we did."

Everyone laughed, remembering the day they'd tackled the doxy infestation in that very room.

"They shouldn't have, I would have done it," Harry said. The house was his after all, and he felt guilty that other people had done what they could to fix it while he did nothing.

Ron looked to Harry, started to say something, stopped, then started again, "Is the house really yours?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess so."

Ron looked around. "Wow."

For an instant, Harry wished Sirius had left the house to the Weasleys, who needed and deserved it far more than he did. Hoping Ron didn't read his thoughts in his eyes, Harry looked into the fire instead. He was grateful when Mrs. Weasley's voice called up the stairs that dinner was ready, interrupting the direction the conversation had headed.

Dinner passed in the sort of easy companionship Harry remembered from the last Christmas they had spent in Grimmauld Place. He found out they had left off decorating for the holidays until Harry arrived, thinking those arrangements at least, they would defer to him. Harry discovered he would also have to sort through what was left of Sirius' family's things. Mostly that was what had been boxed up in the attic, since Sirius had tossed out the majority of the belongings in the other rooms the previous year. Lupin told Harry to take his time, as there was no real reason to rush into something that was bound to be rather emotional. Thinking he would wait until the next day, or maybe the day after, Harry decided he would need to think about what to do with Kreacher before confronting him in his attic hideaway, anyway.

While he still half-expected Sirius to walk through the door and join them at any second, Harry didn't feel the same weight of crushing sorrow and guilt that had plagued him all year. The pain was still there, but it was becoming more a constant dull ache that he occasionally forgot as they laughed together. Some part of him realized those short moments of reprieve would grow longer and longer, and while the pain would never truly be gone, one day the pangs of loss would be as seldom as the moments of relief he felt now.