Harry Potter and the Book of Shadows

A Dangerous Game

Everyone had quickly learned to be on time for Defense Against the Dark Arts, as Dunn tended to launch into his lessons as soon as he walked in the door. As Harry, Ron and Hermione sat and pulled out parchments and quills, they found today would be no different. They had begun the year with illegal hexes and jinxes, but the subject had only lasted a short time. Though their fourth year professor had not been the real Mad-Eye Moody, he had covered quite a bit on that topic already. The trio was eager to see what Dunn had planned for them next.

"Morning, all. Today we'll begin studying symbols, wards, and talismans and their role in defending oneself against the Dark Arts." Dunn walked to his desk and opened a small wooden box. Drawing out an aged parchment, he carefully unrolled it and held it out to the class. "Here we have an excellent example of a symbol chart. This was compiled by a wizard traveling to a small village in Covasna, Romania, while researching the origins of several vampire clans. You can see the symbols are arranged by purpose, then alphabetically by name. I'll pass this around, please handle it gently."

When Harry gingerly took the scroll, he had a sudden feeling there was something important about it. He looked at the symbols closely, but didn't recognize them, and couldn't imagine why he thought he ought to. Passing it to Ron, he quickly sketched them in his notes.

"When traveling to places known to host creatures or practitioners associated with the Dark Arts, it is often useful to make symbol charts such as this, so as to have defenses readily available. If you are aware of local customs and history, it also serves as a sort of 'early-warning system' when exploring castles, caves, ruins and the like. Can anyone guess a well-known example of this?"

Ron's hand shot up, much to Hermione's surprise. Harry, though, had noticed Ron had been participating much more lately, especially in this class. Dunn pointed to him. "The hieroglyphs in Egypt."

"Very good, five points. That is one of numerous examples of early wizarding societies that preserved this kind of protective symbolic knowledge by marking walls and other important ritualistic items. We'll come back to that in a bit."

Students scribbled notes as Dunn withdrew another object from the box. The scroll had made its way back to the front and Dunn put it away carefully before continuing.

He held up two thin chains, multicolored jewel pendants hanging from each. "These are elaborate talismans created by the Nu'uni tribe of West Africa. Does anyone know what they signify?"

This time, Hermione's hand was first in the air. "The number and placement of jewels in a talisman often indicates association to and rank within in a certain community, as well as what it is meant to ward against."

"Correct. Five points. The type of jewel, most importantly, its color, was thought to ward off certain evil spirits or creatures. Do you know, traditionally, which member of the tribe was awarded the most protection?" The question was aimed at Hermione, but Dunn looked to the rest of the class as well.

Hermione hesitated. "The tribal chief?" She cursed the fact she'd finished her Arithmancy essay instead of reading further ahead in Traveling Light: What you really need when battling the Dark Forces.

"A good guess, but not correct. Anyone else?" When no other hands went up, Dunn said, "In many cultures the highest protection would go to the young women of the tribe. Those still of child bearing age." Dunn smiled and continued, "When the effectiveness of jewels as a ward was discovered to be practically non-existent against many things, one group thought it ironic to use them in their insignias identifying group affiliation. Does anyone know which group this is?" He looked around, but not even Hermione had raised her hand. "No? Professor Binns would be disappointed. The survivors that remained and rebuilt after the Great Vampire Clan Wars thought it ironic to use the wards once used against them as part of their family crests."

The rest of the class passed in a blaze of hastily scribbled notes, Dunn finishing with a lengthy homework assignment. "Due one week from today; a full symbol chart work up of the area of your choice, with a foot and a half essay to explain the symbols, what they mean and why you arranged them the way you did. Those of you seeking extra credit may submit an original 'clan crest' of your own design based on the examples found on pages 289-296 in your texts. Good day."

The trio was discussing the essay when Ginny joined them for dinner.

Ron looked at her suspiciously. "You're a bit late."

"I didn't know you were timing me." Ginny deflected his comment.

Hermione ignored them both, continuing her comments on the assignment. "I really want to try for the extra credit, but I'm not much good at drawing. I wonder if that'll count against the grade."

Ron rolled his eyes as he turned back to his plate. "Not like you need extra credit anyway." Before Hermione could retort, Ron continued, "Besides, I don't think I've ever seen you fail after you've decided to do something."

Hermione closed her mouth and smiled slightly while Harry and Ginny exchanged looks and snickers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day as they stood outside Hagrid's cabin, Harry and Ron held onto their brooms and chatted about the features of each while they waited. Hermione merely let her gaze wander, uninterested in their conversation. Hagrid had told those with their own to bring their brooms to class, and everyone had assumed they were going to finally see Free fly. However, when Hagrid finally arrived and started passing out school brooms borrowed from Madame Hooch to those who didn't have their own, they discovered that Noir was the subject of the day's lesson. Confused, they followed as Hagrid led them to the field by the Forbidden Forest, carrying a purring Noir and a small basket.

Hagrid set Noir down and opened the basket cautiously. "All righ', so I got some mice here, and seein' as Noir is getting to be more than jus' a kitten, we'll see how he does with 'em."

Many students looked a bit confused at this pronouncement. Hermione frowned. Harry mimicked her expression, hoping Hagrid didn't mean what he thought he did.

"What, exactly, is he going to do with them?" Draco asked derisively.

"Hunt 'em, of course! In today's lesson yeh'll see how a kneazle kitten learns to hunt." Hagrid turned to the rest of the class. "In the wild, or even jus' in a domestic litter that can get outside, the mother kneazle teaches her kittens to hunt as soon as they're weaned. First, she'll bring back things she's caught but left a bit alive to give 'em practice. Later, she'll take 'em out to where she knows there's critters and show 'em how it's done. Then they have a go. I'm sure Noir got a few lessons before he came here, but he's got a bit of trainin' up to do. Yeh'll see."

"This is barbaric!" Lavender said to Pravati in a horrified whisper.

Hermione looked like, for once, she agreed. Harry wasn't too sure about watching Noir catch and devour mice either, though some of the Slytherins looked like Christmas had come early. Hagrid instructed them to mount their brooms. They understood now it was so they would have a better view of what was going on in the overgrown grass below them. At least Hagrid had picked a spot that gave the mice some sort of chance, Harry thought.

"All righ', so I'll let the critters go and we'll see how he does. Watch and see how each time he gets a bit better." Hagrid opened the cage of mice and they scurried out into the grass.

Though he didn't fancy watching Noir actually catch them, Harry had to admit that watching him stalk though the grass, tail high and twitchy, was kind of funny. Noir's first few attempts failed and Harry understood what Hagrid meant as Noir learned not to pounce too early and how to pin the mouse with his paw before grabbing it with his teeth to avoid getting a mouthful of grass instead. By the end of the class, he had caught six of the ten mice Hagrid had let loose, though to the disappointment of the Slytherins, he did not seem interested in eating them. Hagrid collected the dead mice as Noir wandered in the direction of the paddock.

"Why didn't he eat them?" Goyle asked.

"He gets better food up at the castle, I imagine. Just hunts because it's in his nature," Hagrid replied.

"What are you going to do with those?" Ron pointed to the dead mice. Hagrid didn't try to round up the ones that had managed to escape Noir, much to the relief of many students.

"Never know, they might come in handy fer another lesson later on. I'll freeze 'em fer now. No sense in wastin' 'em."

Though Harry saw the logic behind Hagrid's answer, he couldn't help but agree with Hermione's look of disgust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry and Ron noticed a small crowd around the notice board in the common room the next morning. Curious, they hurried over to see what had everyone talking.

"You don't think they're starting up those Educational Decrees again, do you?" Ron asked worriedly.

Harry shook his head, though he felt a flicker of concern. "No. I thought Hagrid said the Ministry was supposed to keep out of Hogwarts."

"I think I'll check it out. Maybe if we go, we can take the NEWT, too," Seamus was saying as they joined the small crowd by the board. "When's that? Fridays?"

"Yeah. It's not like I didn't like potions..." Lee joked.

"What's going on?" Ron asked.

Seamus pointed to a notice pinned to the board. "Potions tutoring, and Snape's not running it. I think it's Filch's niece. Three nights a week, but it's divided by level."

"NEWT level is on Fridays at seven. Maybe you can do that instead of extra lessons with Snape," Lee suggested helpfully. Harry knew there'd been talk about his having to take remedial potions even though he'd somehow managed and O on his OWL.

Reading over the notice, it seemed Persephone was running potions tutoring, with basic on Mondays, OWL on Wednesdays, and NEWT on Fridays, all at seven, starting the following week. Ron and Harry looked at each other and wondered how she'd managed to get Snape to agree to it. If he even knew.

Ron shrugged. "It's worth a look."

Harry frowned as they headed to breakfast. He wanted to go, but then it would look like he was taking three extra potions lessons a week. There was no way he was giving up Occlumency. He wouldn't even if he could. While Harry had finally mastered clearing his mind, he was finding blocking the full force of Snape's spell very difficult. Not to mention when Snape did break through, Harry still struggled against the distraction of awful memories in order to force him out. Snape made it clear that he was not pleased with the rate of Harry's progress. Still frowning, Harry sat next to Hermione when they arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Are you two going?" Hermione asked as they sat.

"Good morning to you, too," Ron said. "I think so." Hermione seemed pleased Ron was interested.

"I don't know," Harry said. They both looked at him. "I'm already taking extra lessons twice a week."

Hermione nodded in understanding.

Ginny spotted them as she walked in and sat next to Hermione. "Morning."

"Are you going to tutoring?" Ron asked his sister.

"Nah. I don't need it." She shrugged and took some toast. "I wonder how she got Snape to agree."

Looking behind her, Ron said, "You can ask her yourself. She's coming this way."

Ginny turned and saw Persephone was indeed, heading for their table. Harry wondered why she seemed to have singled them out.

Smiling as she approached, Persephone looked to Ginny. "Ginny, I wanted to ask you something."

Not sure what was going on or if she was in trouble, Ginny cautiously raised her eyebrows. "Okay."

"You seemed interested in helping with Free and I was wondering if you'd like to do some one-on-one work with him." When Ginny's eyes grew round, Persephone hastily added, "It'll be outside of class, which means it'll cut into your free time and since you have OWLs this year I understand if-"

"I'd love to!" Ginny agreed enthusiastically. "When?"

She looked ready to leap up and go that moment. Persephone smiled. "Why don't we start tonight, after dinner?"

"Wait just a minute. I thought you said he was dangerous," Ron broke in. "Why don't you get Hagrid to help you?"

"Anyone, human or animal, can be dangerous if provoked," Persephone replied calmly. "But don't worry, Free has really taken to Ginny. He likes her. And Hagrid has enough things to worry about. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't have full confidence in your sister's ability."

Ron didn't look convinced. Just as she was turning to leave, he sat up straighter and asked, "So how'd you get Snape to let you start potions tutoring?"

Facing him, Persephone gave Ron a little smirk and raised one eyebrow. "Let me? What makes you think I need his permission to do anything?"

Ginny snickered and Ron flushed. Though there was some validity to Ron's surprise, Persephone saw no reason to admit to it. After several arguments with Snape over his extreme selectivity in NEWT-level potions classes, Persephone had planned to ask Dumbledore about starting a Potions Club for those students who were interested. She thought back to the previous night.

"Miss Hade, so wonderful you could join us," Dunn greeted her as she satin the dimly lit dungeon classroom. "We feared we'd have only four for tonight's game."

A sniff to her right turned her focus to Professor McGonagall, who sat with her hat at an angle to best hide her expression. Snape's face was expressionless from across the table as he watched the cards magically shuffle themselves. Tiny Professor Flitwick sat on a stack of books, adjusting his green visor.

Persephone smiled. "Always nice to get back to an old diversion." Obviously, they had assumed she was inexperienced when they'd asked her join their weekly poker game, thinking her an easy target.

"I thought you said you didn't play poker," McGonagall said suspiciously.

"I don't play." Persephone deftly shuffled her chips with one hand, flashing a confident grin across the table. "Í win."

She quickly found out that while Dunn was new to the game as she was, he, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Snape all played poker like pros. Persephone wondered how long the others been playing, sensing a long-standing rivalry between the Heads of Gryffindor and Slytherin House.

The final hand had reached a staggering amount, all but Persephone and Snape folding. The tense undercurrent that pervaded the evening now rested solely between them.

"Let's make this more interesting." Persephone continued to smile serenely, sensing it was disrupting Snape's concentration. Considering the river cards showing, and the fact neither would fold, they both thought they knew what the other was holding.

He raised an eyebrow. "And how do you propose to do that?"

"Back on the ranch, the last hand was played for a favor to be named after the hand was won."

Thinking it best for everyone involved that the students didn't find out why Snape wasn't actively discouraging her, she didn't answer Ron but turned to Hermione instead. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but don't come for tutoring. I have a feeling I'm going to get more students than I planned on and I need the space for people who really need it, especially in sixth and seventh year."

Hermione looked torn between flattery and indignation. After a moment, she seemed to settle on flattery. "Well, I suppose I have enough other subjects to work on. What do you plan on starting with?"

"I have an idea of what I'd like to do, but I need to know where everyone is before I start. NEWT level I'll probably start off with a version of All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover," she replied.

"That's on our NEWTs?" Ron exclaimed.

"I seriously doubt it, but it's a fairly complicated potion with some intricate steps. It'll help teach you concentration and accuracy without poor results causing too much trouble. Besides, I'll probably need a lot of cleaning solution." They all smiled at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, Ron wanted to see what Ginny was getting involved in, but Harry had his Occlumency lesson and Hermione refused to go watch, insisting Ginny would be fine and she had too much work to do. She suggested Ron work on his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay and stop worrying so much about his sister. Seeing he wasn't going to get any support, Ron grudgingly took out parchments and his Defense book, glaring when he spied his sister headed out the portrait hole.

Ginny walked to the paddock, her hair tied back and wearing warm clothing like Persephone had suggested, pants and the sweater her mom had knitted for her last Christmas. The sky was still light but it was definitely cool outside and the wind was picking up. She tried to remember everything she could about Granians or anything else Persephone or Hagrid had mentioned that might be useful. She was nervous and excited to be allowed to help with Free. Persephone was already there, getting various brushes and other implements ready.

"Hey, Ginny. I just had a look at his feet and they could use a trim. I thought we could do that first then feed. It's a big thing to start with, but I think you can handle it. He's been pretty calm with you so far and I'm not going to ask you to do much besides hold him and maybe distract him a bit."

Ginny nodded, feeling a little nervous. All she'd done so far was a bit of brushing.

"So we'll start with grooming, something you're both familiar with, to get him nice and relaxed. Then we'll give the trimming a go." Persephone looked Ginny in the eye to emphasize her next point. "He probably won't like it and he might kick, so you need to be ready."

Ginny hid her nervousness and nodded, deciding not to worry until they got to that part. They brushed on opposite sides of the horse.

"Why did you name him Let Freedom Ring?" Ginny asked, hoping for a distraction of her own.

"Well, after I first brought him back, everyone just called him 'The Wild One', which actually would have fit him quite well," Persephone began. "But one day...well, let's just say I was not having a good day. Free was pacing in his paddock and it seemed like he was in the same kind of mood. My first thought was to open the gate and just let him run it off, but we hadn't had him long and I worried he wouldn't come back, or he'd hurt himself. I got a rope on him, intending to walk him for a while when Anna..." Persephone stopped. "Anna and I never got along."

"Was she the one Free kicked?" Ginny guessed, remembering the story Persephone had told her during one her Care of Magical Creatures classes of how Free had panicked when another person at the ranch had tried to tie him down.

"That would be her. It was very stupid of me, but as soon as I saw Anna headed my way, I gave into a very foolish thought. I jumped on Free, wanting to get as far away as fast as possible. Free, surprisingly, obliged." Persephone stopped brushing for a moment. "That first ride...I've never felt as free as in that moment when he hit full gallop. It was amazing. When we got back, everyone was waiting, most of them asking what the hell I was thinking. At the time, the only thing I was thinking was 'Let Freedom Ring'. It kinda stuck."

"Did anyone else ride him after that?" Ginny asked.

"No one else was stupid enough to try. Not to mention there were enough horses and Aethonans that needed to be ridden already. I'm lucky I didn't fall and break my neck or get tossed. He isn't a trained horse. He just loves to run, and sometimes, he lets me go with him."

Persephone gave him a pat on the neck then circled around to Ginny's side to show her how to gently check his feathers for any bites, stings or chizpurfles he may have picked up. Free seemed content to be fussed over.

Grabbing a carrot from a bucket by the fence, Persephone broke it into several small pieces and handed them to Ginny. Free's ears perked up and he whickered. "All right so we're going to try to trim his feet a little. I'm going to start with his right front." Persephone looped a rope and slipped it over Free's neck, holding the loose end out to Ginny. "I need you to hold this. Don't pull, but make sure he knows you've got it. Give him a carrot if you think he needs to be distracted. If he looks like he's going to rear or kick, just let go and back up. Watch for his feet. Ready?" Ginny nodded, holding onto the rope. Persephone held her wand ready and stood next to Free's shoulder and faced his back end.

Persephone put her hand on his back and patted him, sliding her hand down his front leg. "Easy boy. Give me your foot." She leaned her weight against his shoulder to encourage him to put his weight on the left side and pick the right foot up. Hearing Free crunching, she quickly used a Severing Charm to trim his hoof. "Good boy. Okay, I'm going to the rear right. Remember to watch for any shifting weight that may indicate a rear. Watch his ears, too. If they lay flat back, be prepared."

The other three feet passed without incident, except the minor backing up prance when she did his last hoof because Ginny had run out of carrots. Ginny patted his neck, relieved it had gone so well. "You were a very good boy, Free. Thank you."

"Great job, Ginny. I think that's enough for today. Thanks for helping." Persephone went to pull the loop over Free's head to take it off, but the clasp on the sleeve of her robe got caught in his mane. "Ah, shoot."

"Are you okay?" Ginny asked coming around to Free's other side, still holding the loose end.

"Yeah, I'm just caught. You can take the rope off him," Persephone said. Ginny brought it over his head and started to coil it. "This is why you never-"

Suddenly Free squealed loudly and bucked. Persephone, still caught in his mane, tried to move with him. He squealed again, kicking out behind him. Ginny backed up, not sure what was going on.

"No, wait! I'm caught. Stop!" Persephone was trying to get out of her robe but couldn't do it while trying to balance through Free's circling and half-rears. Free squealed again and tried to take off, Persephone running to keep up. She jumped on his back when he slowed near the other end of the paddock, but had to lean off-balance to one side because her hand was caught so close to his head.

She caught sight of Ginny at the other end of the paddock, holding her wand out. "No! Don't do anything! Just let him calm down." She was trying to unbutton her robe, and accidentally kicked him in the process of trying to balance at the same time. Free whinnied and took off. He ran the length of the paddock and Ginny was sure he was going to crash head-on into the fence when he suddenly took off if full flight.

She watched helplessly from the ground as Free tossed his head and flew erratically toward the lake. She could see now why winged horses didn't fly when they were missing feathers. They'd flown a few hundred yards across the lake when it seemed that Persephone had gotten some control and looked like she was about to free herself. Suddenly, Free threw a midair buck, sending Persephone over his head. The arm of her robe was still caught, but she had gotten the other clasps undone and so was finally freed of her robe. She flipped almost gracefully as she fell twelve feet then landed in the water with a splash. Free shook his head again and her robe finally came loose, dropping into the lake.

Watching the water for any sign of her, not sure if she should stay or run for help, Ginny was relieved when she finally saw Persephone break the surface and start swimming back to shore. Free flew back to the paddock, circled and snorted for a few minutes, then walked to his feed tray and nosed it. Ginny saw a small welt rising on his right haunch and wondered if something had stung him, causing his sudden outburst. She couldn't imagine what, it was too cold for most insects to still be around.

Assured Free was all right for the moment, Ginny ran down to the edge of the lake to make sure nothing gave Persephone any trouble as she slowly made her way back to shore. By the time Persephone struggled out of the water, weighted down by her wet clothes, it was dark. There were weeds and leaves in stuck in her hair, though Ginny noted she hadn't lost her wand.

"Are you all right?" Ginny asked, catching sight of Persephone's shirt, a small red stain slowly spreading across the torn fabric. Persephone didn't answer, possibly due to the fact her teeth were chattering so hard from the cold. "I think something may have stung him, he has a welt on his right side."

Persephone walked past her, shivering. She looked at Free through the fence and didn't seem to be too concerned about the sting. "H-h-he'll b-be f-f-fine," she managed to get out. She pointed to the barrel by Hagrid's hut. "T-t-two s-scoops."

Ginny hurried to get Free's grain. "Maybe you should get inside, I'll be okay." Ginny wasn't sure, after what had just happened, but she knew Persephone wouldn't be if she didn't get out of the cold. Persephone seemed to agree since she nodded and headed inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Harry noticed when he walked into his Occlumency lesson was Snape seemed to be in a better mood than the last few times. Not that he thought it would do him any good, but Harry hoped it meant he would be less unpleasant, at least. He soon found that hope was completely unfounded, because, if anything, Snape seemed more determined to prove that Harry was incapable of learning Occlumency.

After the fifth time Harry had failed to block the spell, giving Snape a clear view of several embarrassing primary school memories, he glared at Snape, unable to stand it any longer. "If I'm supposed to be learning how to defend against this, shouldn't you be telling me how instead of just proving you're better at it than I am?"

Snape's mocking gaze turned to one of anger. "I can see you've applied absolutely no effort to learning outside of these lessons."

Harry seethed, of course he had! He'd been practicing every night on clearing his mind and focusing his thoughts, the two defenses he had found to work best against the legellimens spell. Plus he'd been fairly successful using the protego spell to break through Snape's defenses.

Before he could angrily protest, Snape continued, "If you had, you would have found out that as each wizard's mind is unique, each must find their own way to defend themselves. There is no universal spell to teach. Therefore, the only way for you to learn is practice."

Though he still felt Snape was purposefully making it as difficult as possible, Harry couldn't argue. He hadn't thought to look it up. Feeling resentful of the whole situation, he reminded himself to ask Hermione why she had never offered him help with this, when she seemed so determined to nose into everything else. Briefly, he remembered Lupin teaching him how to defend himself against the dementors. While the memories that had conjured were easily as unpleasant as the ones Snape managed to bring into his mind, at least Lupin had been on Harry's side.

"Again! Legellimens!" Snape aimed at him.

When Harry finally managed to force Snape out, he dropped his wand in the hopes it would buy him a few moments to rest. As he bent to pick it up, he tried to think quickly of a way to cast the spell against Snape before he could break into his mind again. As he reached for his wand, Harry tried to think of what he could do. Obviously, bad memories were a good way in, but most of Snape's would be in the Pensive. Not allowing himself to waste precious seconds dwelling on the injustice of that fact, Harry tried to think of something that would be a weak point in Snape's mind. Something occurred to him as he straightened and for once, Harry faced Snape with something approaching confidence.

Harry cast a second ahead of Snape and managed to break through.

He was in a room, sunlight falling in broken patches through floor-to-ceiling windows. Lucius Malfoy, though much younger, stood to one side, restraining a blonde girl, holding her arms twisted painfully behind her, his other hand around her throat. Though Harry could see clearly, the sound flickered in and out and Harry couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Unsure he even wanted to continue, Harry felt an intense force pushing against his mind and the memory grew fuzzy. The simple fact Snape didn't want him to continue made Harry fight harder to keep watching.

The scene flickered back into focus. A man he didn't recognize was aiming his wand at a woman on the floor, her long, blonde hair hiding her face. Sound sputtered in and out, making her anguished screams even more unreal. They stopped abruptly but Harry knew it was not due to Snape gaining control. He recognized that flash of green light and knew the woman on the floor was dead. Harry's felt his control slipping, but sheer determination brought the memory back into sharp relief. Harry suddenly recognized Persephone as the girl Lucius held so painfully. He also recognized the robes Lucius and the other man worse as the uniforms of Death Eaters. Just as Snape forced Harry out of the memory, he heard the unknown Death Eater speak, his cold, hard voice directed at Persephone.

"You will join us or you will die."

Breathing hard, Harry stared at the stone floor of Snape's office, stunned by what he had just seen. Had Snape been there? Harry couldn't think of any other way Snape would have that memory. And yet, something about it seemed odd, as though Snape, too was watching it play in someone else's mind. Looking up, Harry saw Snape watching him with a look of horrified surprise. Though he was proud of the fact he had managed to break into Snape's mind, Harry did feel a bit sick at what he had seen. Persephone had watched her own mother murdered.

"You will tell no one what you saw," Snape hissed, though he looked more disturbed than angry.

Appalled Snape would even suggest such a thing, Harry stammered, "I wouldn't...I would never..."

As though he was determined to ensure Harry forgot what he had just seen, Snape raised his wand and cast the spell again. Harry couldn't focus his thoughts fast enough and a memory broke through.

"I'm leaving for America. Dumbledore wants me to take Buckbeak to a refuge that's accepted him." Lupin looked more tired than Harry had ever seen him.

"When are you coming back?" Harry asked, not voicing the question he really wanted to ask.

Lupin sighed and looked out the window to where Ron and Ginny were de-gnoming the garden yet again. "I don't know, Harry. Not for a while."

"What about the Order?" Harry asked without thinking. He saw Lupin's hand clench into a fist and then relax again.

"I'm sure they'll do without me." Lupin stood. "I have to go. If you need anything Harry, anything at all, let me know. And I wouldn't mind the occasional update from school either, just to see you're doing all right."

Harry nodded as he turned to the door. Mrs. Weasley passed him in the hallway and there was a moment of quiet conversation before Lupin Disapparated.

Snape's spell broke and Harry found himself, not in the living room of the Burrow, but the dungeon of Hogwarts. He barely registered the change. In the clarity of the forced memory he'd heard the conversation between Mrs. Weasley and Lupin that he'd somehow managed to forget since then. He didn't wonder why his subconscious had buried it.

"Will you be all right?" Molly asked, worried. Lupin didn't answer. She glanced to where Harry still sat, seemingly staring into space. "He thinks it's his fault."

Lupin looked away. "I told him it wasn't."

"Did he believe it?" Lupin shrugged. Molly looked at him with concern. "Do you believe that?"

"I want to." Lupin Disapparated without another word.

Harry turned and left Snape's office, not caring if Snape considered the lesson over or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ginny entered the common room and was immediately confronted by Ron. "Well, what did you do? Did he kick? Are you hurt?"

"It went fine. We just brushed him and Persephone trimmed his hooves, no big deal," Ginny replied, trying to sound nonchalant. Ron looked her over and seemed satisfied she didn't have any hoof-prints or bite marks anywhere.

"What's that?" Ron asked, pointing to the wet bundle she was holding.

"This? It's, um, nothing." Ginny changed directions, trying to get to the girls' dormitories.

Ron blocked her. "Is that your robe? Why is it all wet?"

"It's not mine. It's Persephone's." When Ron didn't look like he believed her, she explained what happened after they had finished grooming Free. "So I used a Summoning Charm to get it out of the lake. I thought she'd want it back."

"The lake is freezing this time of year!" Ron exclaimed.

"Vicktor went swimming in the lake and he didn't seem to mind," Hermione said without looking up from the books and papers she had spread out.

"Well isn't he just bloody perfect, then," Ron muttered.

"She seemed fine. A bit cold, but fine. She's a good swimmer." Ginny stopped talking as Harry walked through the portrait hole. "Harry!" She stopped when she saw his expression. "Harry, are you all right?"

Hermione and Ron looked up to Harry just shake his head as he practically ran up the stairs.

"Maybe you should go talk to him." Hermione looked to Ron worriedly.

Ron was about to get up when Ginny stopped him. "No. Let him be for now. Maybe tomorrow."

The three sat in anxious silence until they couldn't stand it anymore and they all went to bed. Ron looked to Harry's bed when he walked into their room, but the curtains were drawn and everything was quiet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry woke late the next morning feeling awful. He'd had the memory-nightmare of Sirius again, but now it was coupled with the conversation he'd overheard between Molly Weasley and Lupin. He'd barely slept all night. Throwing on his robes, he stumbled down to breakfast, seeing everyone else was already gone.

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were eating breakfast at the Gryffindor table when he walked into the Great Hall. He sat down with a thump and stared at the empty plate in front of him.

"Harry, you look aw...ow!" Hermione glared at Ginny who was sitting next to her and had stepped on her foot. Ron had told them Harry had been having nightmares all night.

"Morning, Harry," Ron greeted him in a falsely bright voice, "It stopped raining. We could go out later, now that it's not raining. Still a bit wet, but better than sitting in here with homework, right?"

"Maybe Harry wants to stay inside and finish his homework, Ron. Not everyone wants to go outside in the cold and wet. Besides, he looks tired." Hermione frowned at Harry. "You should stay in and get some rest."

Between Ron's forced cheeriness and Hermione's over-concern, Harry wondered how he was going to make it through breakfast. He saw Ginny glare at both of them before she turned to him.

"Ron and I thought we might go out for some Quidditch practice. You in?" Ginny asked in a completely normal tone of voice as she added sugar to her porridge. "Julian was talking about some new tactic and I wanted to try it out before the next team practice."

Harry sat up, deciding Quidditch was exactly the distraction he needed. "After breakfast?"

Ginny nodded and tuned to Hermione. "You want to play, 'Mione? You could be a Chaser." Seeing she was about to make an excuse, Ginny continued. "Come on, you don't want all your school memories to be of the library, do you? Come out and have fun with us for once."

"Yeah, come on, it'll be fun. We'll go easy on you," Ron said encouragingly.

Hermione still looked reluctant. "I'm not very good..."

"Neither's Ron, but that doesn't stop him." Ginny laughed.

"Hey!" Ron protested. Hermione laughed, too. Harry looked at them and smiled, feeling a tiny bit better than when he had first woken up.

As they walked back to Gryffindor Tower to change, Harry and Ginny trailed slightly behind Ron and Hermione. Ron was trying, unsuccessfully, to explain a complicated Quidditch play to her.

"Hey, Ginny..." Harry started. She turned to him, questioningly. "Um, thanks."

She just smiled. The four of them spent the morning whizzing around the Quidditch field, trying out different plays and taking turns at bombarding Ron with Quaffles. Hermione was better than they had expected, though far from the next member of the Gryffindor team. Harry realized he'd hardly thought about the nightmares since they'd been out. By lunchtime, it had started to rain again and they reluctantly touched down.

"We'd better go in, before it really starts to pour," Hermione said.

"Let's stop by Hagrid's first. We haven't been to see him in ages," Ginny suggested. They all agreed and they headed over to his hut.

"Well, it's about time yeh came ter visit!" Hagrid ushered them in. He poured them all tea and set out a plate of cookies, which they all carefully avoided. "I was workin' on gettin' a new creature fer class. Came up with the idea las' night, while I was down at the Three Broomsticks."

"Is that why you weren't there last night to help with Free?" Ginny asked.

"She doesn't need my help, really. Knows her creatures, Persephone does. Has a good touch, too. Speakin' of, have any of you seen her today? She didn't come down for Free's morning feed, not that I mind doin' it, of course, but it's not like her not to tell me," Hagrid said with a note of concern.

"I haven't seen her since last night." Ginny looked slightly worried. Ron and Hermione shrugged.

"Ah, well. She'll be down for his trainin' this afternoon. I'll see her then," Hagrid said.

They chatted for a while, but Harry noticed Ginny still looked worried when they left. He cast her a questioning look.

She realized Harry hadn't heard about her first session with Free. After she recounted the story she finished with, "It's just...it was really cold last night and it took her a while to get out of the lake."

"I'm sure she's fine," Harry assured her.

They went back to the common room, Hermione determined to get back to studying. Ron and Harry sat down to a game of wizard chess, Ron hoping to continue to distract Harry out of his mood. Ginny went up to her room, but returned shortly carrying Persephone's now clean and dry robe.

"I'm going to go see if she's in her office and give her robe back," Ginny said.

"Okay. Ha! Gotcha," Ron said without looking up as one of his knights clobbered Harry's rook. Harry groaned, thinking it was not going to be his day for chess. Ginny frowned at them and left.

Persephone's office was cold and dark when she looked in, she had obviously not been there that day. Ginny paused in the corridor, still holding the robe. Ginny didn't know where her room was, not that she would have felt entirely comfortable looking for her there. She decided to check the hospital wing, just in case.

At a slight rustling sound, Persephone looked hopefully at the doorway to Madame Pomfrey's office, but it did not look like she was there. She pulled the sheet higher when she heard someone enter.

"Oh, Ginny, it's you," she said with relief. She wrapped the sheet around her as best she could and sat up.

"Persephone! Hagrid said you hadn't gone down to feed Free this morning. Are you sick?" Ginny stood next to the bed. "Here, I brought your robe from last night. I cleaned it, too."

"Thank you, Ginny. I think I was sick last night, but I don't really remember." Persephone took her robe back. She couldn't remember how she had gotten to the hospital wing but figured she had probably gone to get the grindylow scratches she'd gotten in the lake taken care of and fallen asleep there. Flexing her right hand, she wondered where the bruises across her knuckles had come from. Turning back to Ginny, she said, "I had given this up for lost. Thank you for bringing it back. I was stupid to wear it and I deserved to lose it."

"Why? You told me to wear something warm," Ginny asked.

"Remember the first thing I told you when you asked about the dangers of working with a wild animal like Free?" Persephone asked her.

"That when people get hurt working with wild animals, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it's because of something they did, not the animal. My brother Charlie says that, too," Ginny replied.

Persephone unfolded the robe and showed Ginny one sleeve. "See this?" She pointed at the silver clasp on the cuff. It matched the decorative clasps down the front. "That's what got caught in his mane. One of the major rules of working with animals is you don't wear things that are easily caught, tangled or pulled and now you now why. I thought it was another one I have that's a similar color. I didn't go back because I thought it would be fine. It wasn't. Never assume."

Madame Pomfrey came in from the main doors. "Good to see you awake. Feeling better?" Persephone nodded. "I brought your night robe down to be cleaned, got quite dirty when you threw it on the ground out by the greenhouses last night. It's been muddy."

Persephone stared at her. "I'm sorry, I did what? Out where?"

"Don't remember? I'm not surprised, you were quite delirious when Professor Snape brought you in. Good thing he found you. Well, now you're right as rain, so off you go. Lots of rest today, though. Drink this with dinner," she said cheerfully and handed Persephone a small glass bottle, then went back into her office. Persephone sat, staring openmouthed at the doorway she had gone through.

"Well, I'm glad you're better. I need to go study, but I'd like to help with Free, again, if that's okay," Ginny said, trying to cover the awkward moment.

Persephone smiled weakly at her. "That would be great, Ginny. Thanks again for getting this."

Ginny left, agreeing to meet her for Free's evening feed. Persephone let her head fall to her knees as she tried to remember what had happened the night before. Whatever was real or imagined one thing was certain: when she'd changed last night she'd put on a clean shirt and underwear but hadn't gotten any further before apparently wandering though the castle. The very least she could hope for was Snape had been the only one to see her. Pulling the robe over her head, she left the hospital wing.

Ginny walked back through the portrait hole into the common room. Hermione was still there, books spread out across one table, writing furiously. Ginny looked around but she didn't see her brother or Harry anywhere. She sighed and went to get her own homework.

"That Hermione, you'd think it was like we never did homework or something," Ron muttered as they headed to the library. "She needs to learn how to have fun."

Harry bit back the reply that sprang to mind as they entered the library and headed towards a table in the back, partially concealed by tall bookshelves. They sat and spread out their History of Magic books. Harry pulled out his half-finished essay and was unrolling it when he noticed Ron watching him with a strange look.

"What?" he asked, opening the first book he grabbed.

"Last night, your nightmares...I heard...I mean, are you all right?" Ron started.

Harry frowned at his paper. "I'm fine. I need another seven inches, how much have you got?"

"If you want to talk-"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Harry said loudly, then realized they were in the library and lowered his voice. "Just drop it okay?"

"Okay, but you know if-" Ron stopped at Harry's glare and quickly looked down at his paper. "I need about six inches more."

Harry was still scowling at his essay, trying to ignore Ron's furtive looks when Neville walked up to their table a few minutes later.

"Can I sit with you? I tried to finish this in the common room but Hermione..." he trailed off and blushed a bit.

"She kicked you out too, huh?" Ron shook his head. Hermione had told off him and Harry when they tried to sit next to her to work on their homework. After stating she'd never get caught up with them laughing and joking around, she essentially promised them severe bodily harm if they didn't remove themselves from the immediate vicinity. Ron muttered something about priorities as Neville turned to Harry.

"Hey Harry..." he started hesitantly.

Harry looked up and glared at him. "I DON'T want to talk about it!"

Neville just looked back in surprise. "Umm, okay, but I just wanted to ask how long the essay had to be."

"Sorry, Neville." Harry sighed. "Foot and a half, at least."

Now that he didn't have Quidditch to distract him, lack of sleep and the images from the nightmare were taking over. Was this why Cho had constantly brought up Cedric? In the hopes it would somehow rid her of the images, the memories? Harry had considered talking to her once or twice, deciding against it each time. In the end, he didn't think she would understand any more than Ron or Neville would. It wasn't the same, she wasn't responsible for Cedric's death.

And he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to think about how if he had only tried harder at Occlumency...hadn't been so selfish in wanting to know what was behind the door in his dream...had used the mirror first... If he had only done any one of a thousand little things, it might have changed everything. A small splash brought his attention back to where he was. It took a moment of looking at the ink running on his essay in confusion before he realized he was crying. He quickly wiped at his eyes and let his ruined essay spring back into a roll. Opening his mouth to make some excuse, he decided it didn't matter what he said and got up without a word. Ron and Neville looked up as he left, leaving all his books behind.

"Ha-" Ron started but caught Neville's eye as he shook his head. They both turned back to their papers.

Harry wasn't sure where he was going but he hoped he wouldn't run into anyone on his way. Eventually, he found himself standing in front of a wall, behind which was the Room of Requirement. Not sure why he had ended up there, he paced back and forth. He wasn't sure it would work, since he had no idea what he needed in the room. Nevertheless, after a moment, a highly polished wooden door appeared. Reaching for the doorknob, he suddenly wondered what the room looked like when no one was there.

He walked through the opening and heard a small gasp. Looking to his right, he saw Ginny looking back at him in surprise. She quickly shut the book she'd been writing in and tried to unobtrusively stuff it between the cushion and armrest of the comfortable-looking armchair she was curled up in. This was definitely not what he was expecting. "Oh...um, sorry, Ginny." He turned to leave.

"No, it's okay Harry. You don't have to leave. I just came in here for some quiet. I was in the common room but Hermione..." Harry smiled faintly as Ginny jumped to her feet. "I can go to the library."

"You were here first. Besides, I wasn't even sure what it was I wanted the room to be." Harry looked around, grateful for any distraction from his thoughts. The room had to be set in what Ginny had been thinking of when she paced. It was basically the same as when they had had DA club there. Bookshelves stuffed with books lined the walls, torches sputtered in their sconces, illuminating the spacious room. Instead of the large silk cushions they had used, several squashy armchairs and one overstuffed couch were placed in small clusters around various wood tables in the room. The room had a feeling of a comfortable and private library.

Harry walked to the nearest bookcase, curious as to what books were there. Surely they would be different than the ones that been provided for DA Club. The first case held mostly Care of Magical Creatures books, Harry recognized the Monster Book of Monsters and wondered if the only reason it was quiet was because it was packed in so tightly between Common Magical Water-Animals of the Pacific and Guardian Creatures: From Bowtruckle to Porlock, A Comparative Study. He scanned the books as he moved to the next section. Here were titles he recognized, Jinxes for the Jinxed, Self-defensive Spellwork, The Dark Arts Outsmarted. Harry stepped back and looked at the bookcases down the wall. Every class Ginny had had its own section, overflowing with books. She had obviously been thinking about homework as she paced. He had to agree, this was much easier than battling with Madame Pince in the library.

Ginny stood in front of the bookcases on the opposite side of the room. Harry hadn't noticed her move. "Do you come here to do homework a lot?"

Ginny looked a bit uncomfortable. "Just when the common room is too noisy or there aren't any free tables." She paused a second. "Sometimes it's just nice to have a place to go to be alone."

"I can go-"

"No!" Ginny stopped him. "I didn't mean it like that. It's not like I own the room, anyway." She attempted a smile.

Harry thought he understood her need for her own space. In a family her size, there was always someone around, especially now that Charlie and Bill were closer to home and around that much more. Being with all of them at the Burrow over the summer had been a bit overwhelming at times. He walked over to where Ginny was, interested to know what the bookshelves there contained. All her classes were on the other side of the room. Ginny blocked his view.

"Where were you and Ron? When I came back from the hospital wing, Hermione was in the common room by herself," Ginny asked. Harry paused in front of her, sensing she was trying to distract him from something.

"She kicked us out. We went to the library to work on our History of Magic essays."

Ginny's brow furrowed. "Oh. Did you finish before Ron?"

Harry didn't answer right away, he still didn't feel like talking about it. "I couldn't concentrate. I'm not sure why I came here. Hospital wing? Are you sick?"

Ginny noticed his abrupt change of subject and decided to let it go for now. "I went to give Persephone back her robe, remember? That's where I found her. She'd gotten sick from falling in the lake."

"Oh. She okay?" Harry asked, glad Ginny didn't press.

"Yeah, she's fine now. I think she left right after I did. I'm supposed to go help her with Free again tonight." Ginny's eyes lit up.

Harry noticed. "Ron doesn't like you helping her." Or being a Beater. "He thinks it's too dangerous."

Ginny snorted. "Ron doesn't like me doing anything lately. Honestly, it's like he thinks I'm made of glass. Anyway, he should talk, you two are always doing something that's bound to get you killed or expelled one of these days."

Harry had to smile. She had a point, even if she was only half joking. His smile faded, last time someone had gotten killed...

"Harry?" Ginny saw his expression cloud over. She said his name again.

Harry shook himself and looked behind her at the bookshelf, hoping for something to change the subject. He read the first title that caught his eye, A Magical Love. He scanned some of the other titles, Bewitching, Once Upon a Castle. Romance novels! When he glanced back at her, Ginny was blushing furiously, having followed his gaze. She wouldn't catch his eye.

"Mum won't let me read them at home. She says they're trash," she mumbled.

Though he had to agree with Mrs. Weasley, Harry just shrugged, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable. "Ron reads comics."

Ginny looked back at him, slightly less red and smiled a bit. "Mum doesn't like them, either."

Harry, not knowing what else to say, and having brought nothing with him to do, picked a random novel off the shelf, This Dangerous Magic. He looked at Ginny. "This any good?"

Ginny tried valiantly not to turn six shades of red, hoping he wasn't making fun of her. "I don't know, I haven't read that one yet."

Harry took it to a chair near where Ginny had been sitting. Flopping into it, he opened the book and started to read. Ginny hesitantly walked back to her chair and picked up a book Harry hadn't noticed lying on an end table. She opened it and started to read as well.

While the book was as inane as Harry imagined it would be, the comfortable quiet in the room was relaxing and he felt less distressed than when he had left Ron and Neville. He glanced over at Ginny, and by her rapt expression as she read, decided her book had to be better than his. Giving up on trying to read, he watched the flickering flame of the wall sconce until he felt himself start to nod off.

The jangle of a bell woke him. Having no idea what time it was, or where he was, for that matter, he looked for the source of the noise. Sitting up in the armchair, he remembered he was in the Room of Requirement and on a quick survey, noted Ginny was no longer there. The bell was coming from a rather ornate desk clock on the table next to him. Harry pushed a knob on the back of it and was relieved when the alarm stopped. He looked at the clock more closely. It hadn't been there when he sat down, he was sure. Ginny must have made it appear after he had fallen asleep. Noting the hour, he saw he had enough time to get back to the common room and get ready for dinner, and told himself to thank Ginny for making sure he didn't sleep through it. Hopefully, Ron or Neville had taken his books back from the library.

As he stood, he noticed the book Ginny had been writing in when he first walked in, still wedged in the other armchair. She must have forgotten it, he thought as he picked it up. It was small and leather-bound, tied shut with a long piece of leather that matched the cover. It didn't look like a novel. Curious, Harry unwound the tie and opened the cover.

Ginny Weasley

Hogwarts

Fifth Year

An odd sort of notebook he mused, wondering what subject it was for. He flipped to a page in the middle.

...decided that this year she wasn't going to be as uptight about grades, but as I'm sitting in the Room of Requirement right now because she kicked me out of the common room, you can imagine how well that's going. It's almost Halloween and I still haven't done what I swore I would when school started. Not that I haven't tried, but every time I get close he

There was a long scratch of ink and that was the end of the writing. Harry realized he had just read the last page in Ginny's diary. He snapped the book shut and quickly wound the tie, looking around guiltily, though he knew no one was in the room. He stared at the book in his hand, feeling what most anyone would in that situation...an intense desire to sit down and read it cover to cover. What had Ginny sworn to do? Who was 'he'? Harry knew the answers were in the earlier pages but determinedly slipped the book in a pocket of his robes. Dumbledore had once told him curiosity was not a sin, but it seemed to get him nothing but trouble, and he wasn't about to let it ruin his friendship with Ginny. Especially not when she was the only one who acted normally around him. Harry left the room determined to return her diary before he did something incredibly stupid.

The first thing he thought when he walked back in the common room was that Hermione must have finished her homework, because she and Ron were talking quietly in the corner. When Ron looked up and saw him, he flushed guiltily. Hermione looked over her shoulder and whatever she was saying trailed off when she caught sight of Harry. He realized they'd probably been talking about him. Reminding himself they were only trying to be good friends, he walked over and sat.

"Hey...uh, Harry," Ron started, "I left your books on your trunk. I still haven't finished the essay so if you want to go back to the library later..."

"Thanks," Harry replied. Hermione and Ron exchanged glances and Harry thought he would stop their concerned questioning before it started. "You ready to go to dinner?"

"Sure." Hermione was glad to hear Harry suggest going to eat, usually they had to drag him along, protesting he wasn't hungry.

When he stood, Harry felt the weight of the diary shift in his pocket. "Have you seen Ginny?"

They both shook their heads, though Ron looked rather pleased Harry was asking about her. Harry wondered where she had gone if she hadn't come back to the common room. Hoping she'd join them for dinner so he could give the diary back, Harry led the way to the Great Hall.