Dress Me In Shadows

Sunday Sunday where have you been,

Your emerald eyes,

Like your hands reaching out to me?

(Tuesday's Child, Scarlet and other Stories)

(N) I sit and wait in our expensive carriage. Lucius told me not to, but I had to come and greet him. One of the servants has gone to fetch him from the train which should be pulling in any minute. He will emerge, my young angel, flanked by his childhood friends. His chatter will be excited and childish. I had to come - I must experience the last few moments of my son's youth and innocence. If he had any idea of what was to come...

He climbs into the carriage, grey eyes shining, excited to be going home. Asks after his father - I have to tell him he's on business. Which is sort of true. I sit and listen to his adolescent complaints about the famous Harry Potter - complaints that could just as easily be made against any other student. The servant informs me that the Crabbe family and the Goyle family will be coming to dinner - his pale young face lights up, as if the hours apart will drag, as if this is a matter of importance. And it is, or rather it should be for him. I listen as he tells me about Pansy Parkinson's continued infatuation and my heart breaks. If only he knew how soon these links were to be severed. If only he knew the truth...

But I cannot tell him. I must sit and watch until Lucius decides it is time. I must let my son live a normal life for as long as he can...He looks at me adoringly, and I feel a strong urge to draw him into me, to hide him away from the horrors in store. But I cannot - as Lucius reminds me, it's his own choice.

We arrive home and Draco looks for his father. His excited greeting is met with cool regard by the man he idolises. As he rushes off to prepare for dinner, I can sense my husband's growing irritation. I pray that he will allow our son just one more night of blissful ignorance.

So many fingers pull at the fabric of your dreams,

And by the sundial it seems,

Time's come to live a real life.

(Blind Lemon Sam, Scarlet and other Stories)

(L) As the Crabbes and Goyles arrive, he hurries downstairs, eager to greet his playmates. I give their fathers a look - tonight is the last night of innocence. He whispers about an 'attack' on the train - however I see no serious in juries as a result so do not deem it to be worthy of my time. Come tomorrow, it will not seem worthy of his either.

I know she worries. She worries that he is too young, that he cannot understand fully. Nonsense I say. We have raised an intelligent boy, capable of thinking and judging by himself. Besides, He has declared that everything I own belongs to Him, and the sooner the child learns this the better. As she chats with the women and he sniggers with the children I sit and talk with my fellow Death Eaters. For a moment I reflect on how strange it is that our sons have followed our lead. However, this moment is brief - I have no time for sentiment. Sentiment serves only to improve memories, to distort reality. As I watch my son, the miniature embodiment of myself, I feel the dull throb of His Mark, as though He is reminding me of what must be done.

The house elves serve dinner and the families unite. The Malfoy superiority shines through, in father, mother and son. She listens intently to the babblings of the children, as though trying to imprint their meaningless words into her memory. She gazes at the boy as though he is the embodiment of pure good - for darkness's sakes he is a Malfoy and a Slytherin! This is what he was born for - to learn from me so that he can continue my work when I die. Yes, I could well die soon - the battle between Dark and Light is warming up and I'm not immortal. I must therefore ensure that he is able to take my place, to continue my work. I must ensure that he will find a suitable mate so that the Malfoy name will continue. Mr Crabbe and Mr Goyle will be doing the same. Draco will be a powerful wizard one day and I wish to ensure that his power is not wasted.

He looks at me, eyes full of sickening admiration. I thought I had taught him not to entertain emotion, obviously he has forgotten. She gives me a look, but the farcical nature of the evening bores me. I long for the morning, when Draco will learn his true place in the world.

I think that I've found out

What no-one's about to tell me

(Scarlet, Scarlet and other Stories)

(D) I always look forward to coming home - sure Hogwarts is great but I can learn just as much, if not more, from my father. But tonight he seems strange - as though he is distancing himself. As Crabbe and Goyle leave with their parents I start to climb the stairs, heading to my chamber. I hear his heavy step behind mine and I am afraid. He leads me to the room on the second floor, the one which spends most of its days locked and abandoned. He ushers me in before lecturing me on showing emotion. He picks up a small, thin blade and I resist the urge to run away. I must be conditioned to deal with pain, fear and all those other weaknesses that are hindering me. I try to look as unaffected as possible as he stalks round the room, teasing me, playing with me, trying to get me to slip up. After what seems an eternity he drops the blade unused and opens the door - I am free to go.

I run up the stairs to my chamber, and lock myself in. I am about to retire for the night when I hear them argue:

"Tomorrow morning it shall be done with."

"But Lucius he's only just come home!"

"Which gives him plenty of time to adjust."

I hear Mother about to object but she is stopped as he hits her. I cower in my room, afraid that I will be the next target for his anger. However, nothing more is said and I am left to wonder about the morning.

I wish we had the hearts of children

Their eyes are wide and their love is pure

(Flowers in our Hair, All About Eve)

(N) Today's the day.

I see him cautiously walk down the stairs, as if he suspects something is wrong. His father behaves as usual, but he still seems afraid of him. Not that he'd show it - not after last night - but I think he heard something he shouldn't have.

I watch as Lucius tells him he is to 'sit in' on a Death Eater meeting. How I long to tell him the truth, but if I were to do so, worse than death would fall upon me. My son seems a little excited - asks if Crabbe and Goyle will be there. Lucius nods, and Draco rushes to get ready for what he perceives as a grand adventure. My husband smiles a cold smile at me - I cannot believe he lied to his own flesh and blood. I turn as I hear young footsteps behind me - Draco has dressed as though he knew he had to impress the Dark Lord. If only he really did know...

They have left now. I try to find things to occupy my mind but I cannot stop thinking about my son. I wish Lucius would wait until he reaches maturity; fifteen is too young to make a decision about something as big as this! I think back to last year at the Quidditch World Cup - he was happy to watch but I know he isn't the sort to carry out such evil.

You'd better wake yourself

And shake yourself on up

Look in a looking-glass

And see the past you know

(Blind Lemon Sam, Scarlet and other Stories)

(L) He bombards me with questions - what will happen in the meeting, will it be important? I try to smother a smile as I tell him that it will be the most important meeting he will ever attend. We reach the meeting-place and he rushes over to Crabbe and Goyle. A girl joins them and I recognise her as the Zabinis' daughter. Maybe his future mate has been found. They certainly seem to get on well enough.

He calls me to Him. I meet with Him and some of the other Death Eaters, including Mr Crabbe, Mr Goyle and Mr Zabini. I see Pettigrew at His right hand, trying to look important. I do not see Snape anywhere - obviously he has the sense to stay away. Our Lord asks us about our offspring, and I am glad to note that he sees Draco as "a young man with a lot of potential". The 'meeting' begins and I see the children all sat together as if this were a game. Well they'll learn soon enough how serious this is!

We talk for a while - menial things, about destroying Mudbloods and such trivia. Then it is time. As the Dark Lord announces what is to come, I notice my son's pale face turn even paler. For a brief moment I consider pulling him out - but no, I made a promise to Him and I intend to keep it.

I think that I've found out

I don't wear scarlet well

(Scarlet, Scarlet and other Stories)

(D) It starts off well enough - Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle and I sit quietly listening to the meeting, hardly able to believe that we are there. I begin to wonder what about this meeting is so important. Then Voldermort tells us we are to be Marked and I understand. My father tricked me into coming here - he must have known I don't consider myself ready for this. Blaise goes first - she looks absolutely terrified and I don't blame her. Voldermort asks her if she is prepared to go through with this, and she whispers her consent. I watch, horrified, as her pretty face screws up in pain she is unable to complain about. As the Mark is drawn I see her grow so pale she makes me look like I have colour. When he finishes, she goes to sit by her father, a stunned look on her face.

Then I am called. When asked if I am prepared for this, my first instinct is to say no. Then I see the look of near pride on Father's face and I say yes. As Voldermort burns his Mark into my skin, I hear a voice inside my head. It tells me that the Mark makes me Voldermort's servant, that I will act for him, show loyalty to him, kill for him-

Hold on, kill? Me, Draco Malfoy, kill? Before I realise what I'm doing, I pull away and run for the door. I half expect to be shot down by him but I hear him say "Leave him. Obviously he wasn't ready"

I know Father will be furious. I can't go home - I wouldn't be welcome. Instead I find the woods at the edge of our land, hoping to hide out there until I decide what to do.

I must have fallen by the wayside

The wheels crack beneath my foolish pride

Give me a sign in your direction

And show me the road to your soul

(Road to your Soul, Scarlet and other Stories)

(N) What can I do?!

He arrives home, furious. He storms into the Gallery and tears our darling son's portrait from the wall. He rounds on me and demands to know where he is. I tell him that I honestly don't know. He hits me, and I don't understand what's going on. Then he tells me - Draco ran. Before the Mark could be finished he turned and fled the Death Eaters. He is supposed to be still alive but no-one knows where. I hope he's safe - my boy isn't pure evil, he deserves a chance. Although he can never show his face in Hogwarts again - friends he has had from birth are now sworn enemies. Draco has nothing - oh please let the gods look after him!

(L) He will pay! He will regret the day he made a fool of Lucius Malfoy. The Dark Lord says that he fled at the idea of killing someone - for darkness's sakes he's a wizard! He can kill people and not even leave a mark. But no, he has to show his cowardly streak. I always knew he had it but I thought it was under control. I will hunt him down and make him regret this! I will get my vengeance!

(Blaise)I hope he's alright! Now I'm a Death Eater he's meant to be my enemy, but I only agreed because I thought he would too1 His father seems furious - I hope he doesn't do anything too harsh to Draco!

(D) I don't know how long I can stay on the run for. I know Father will hunt me down but I need my rest. I find a quiet spot and decide to stop for a while...

(N) He's just left the house! I must follow him! I know he's hunting our son and I must stop him! Draco is still young and obviously not ready to commit to one leader, why doesn't Lucius understand that?

(L) I can sense him. I can sense my flesh and blood not far from home. My sights turn to the woods - the perfect spot to hide. It's a useful thing to teach your own children - that way they cannot outsmart you.

(N) I shadow my husband as he heads deeper into the wood. I hope for a sign that my son is near, a sign I will spot before him. I see him approach a bush - I see our babe asleep underneath.

(L) My prey is asleep - what perfect timing! I edge closer, ready to awaken him. I cast the Crucio curse and he wakes, screaming in agony. I feel a flash behind me and pull him in to shield me...

(N) I tried! I tried to stop my husband - I know it's harsh but while he lived he threatened Draco. Now my son will no longer be threatened by anyone. I slowly back away, expecting his wrath but none is forthcoming.

(L) She knows I could hurt her. And she expects it. But since she has rid me of my problem I see it unnecessary. I lead her away from the scene, her sobs a mere echo in the void of my heart.

(N) I know my tears go unnoticed, but I cry anyway. I'm just glad that he's safe now, where no-one will hurt him again.

I think that I've found out

What no-one's about to tell me...

I think that I've found out

The place where angels fell from...

I think that I've found out

I don't wear scarlet well.

(Scarlet, Scarlet and other Stories)