Experience

Hermione walked slowly to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Instead, she laid there and thought about Harry and Malfoy all night. Confused, jumbled ruminations that offered no answers, only more questions. While Hermione was willing to admit that her feelings for Harry weren't completely platonic, she still had no idea what do with them. This whole seduction plan was supposed to be simple. She'd sleep with Malfoy, thereby ridding herself of the virginity problem. No fuss. No muss. She felt like such an idiot. She only succeeded in creating a whole host of new problems for herself. And the one that came to mind right now had red hair.

From a distance, she could see Harry and Ginny. They were both laughing as Ginny playfully slapped at Harry's hand. He was trying to feed her a bit of strawberry, which she didn't like. They seemed so happy and looked so right together. At this moment, Hermione wasn't sure what bothered her most, seeing Harry touch another girl or seeing proof of their relationship itself. She envied their closeness, their ease with one another. Although Hermione had dated before, she'd never been part of a couple. She'd never gone past the awkward stages of getting to know another person. Never allowed another human being to know *everything*. Hermione believed that while she might get close to Malfoy physically, he'd never let her in emotionally. It made her much vaunted "plan" seem rather cold and empty.

Hermione reluctantly took her seat next to Ron who smiled when he saw her. "Why the long face?"

"Huh? Oh, er, nothing. I'm just not awake." She glared down at the platters piled high with sausages and eggs with disgust. Hermione pushed them away in favor of a cup of strong tea.

Harry stiffened as soon as he noticed her, dropping the berry in his hand.

Ron nudged her arm and flashed an affable smile. "Well, wake up then! You should be thrilled, you have me all to yourself this morning."

"Oh?" she replied vaguely. "Parvati's sleeping in?" Hermione hadn't even noticed.

Ron nodded, biting into his toast.

"Thank goodness!" Ginny cried breathlessly to her boyfriend. "I was about to hex you if you didn't stop, Harry!" She observed the direction of his gaze and paused to acknowledge Hermione with a distracted air. "Oh, hello there." She placed a proprietary hand on Harry's knee. "Your best friend over here was being overly friendly with the fruit."

"Hi," Hermione smiled weakly before she took a sip of tea. She made no comment about the unauthorized use of produce.

"We hate to eat and run but Harry and I have a, er. . .project to do." She gave her boyfriend a wily smile as she moved her hand from his knee to thread it through his larger hand. "Don't we?"

Harry stared at her hand in his own and swallowed reflexively.

"A snogging project?" Ron asked, wrinkling his nose. "Ugh! Gin, I'm trying to eat here."

Hermione's stomach plummeted. She'd only kissed Harry. It wasn't like she had some claim on him. Although, it *felt* as if she had a claim on him - as if the moment their lips touched nothing would be same afterwards. Her emotions were all warring with one another. Hermione resisted the urge to give into her anger. A small part of her wanted to reach over and smack Harry's face. She also managed to get a hold on her jealousy. She really wanted to yank out a handful of Ginny's glossy red hair. Her sadness seemed to be winning the contest though. Hermione felt tears prick her eyes. She felt like going to her room and having a good cry.

"Um, yes. A project." Harry stood up, allowing Ginny to lead him away by the hand. He didn't look back.

Hermione bit her lower lip and willed her tears not to fall. That's when she felt a shimmer of awareness go streaking down her spine. Someone was watching her. Malfoy. Hermione caught his gaze across the room, there was an expression of something that resembled compassion on his face. It flickered briefly before being replaced with a peculiar sort of amusement.

Hermione forced her eyes away from him, letting them settle on the friendly planes of Ron's dear face instead.

Ron touched her hand. "What's wrong, Hermione?"

She laid her head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his familiar presence. "I think I've done something really stupid."

"You? Never," he scoffed. He patted her back, the way a patient parent would soothe a child. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly," she said softly. His nearness had quelled the unpleasant emotions threatening to bust out and be heard.

"Fine, keep it to yourself, if you must," he placed a perfunctory kiss on the top of her head before she straightened up. "Fester, fester, fester. . ."

"Rot. Rot. Rot," she finished the oft-repeated phrase. He usually teased her about her propensity to keep her own counsel. "And thanks, Ron. You always know how to make me feel better."

"That's what I'm here for." He grinned at her before snagging another piece of bacon.

When Hermione let herself glance over at Slytherin table, Malfoy was nowhere to be seen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Hermione had first come to Hogwarts, she'd been awed by the Gryffindor common room. Large tapestries covered the wall. They were all done in rich crimson and gold. There were thick, high-backed leather chairs that sat invitingly in front of the fire. Soft plushy rugs decorated the wooden floors. An impressive Gryffindor trophy case sat against one of the walls. This particular evening, Hermione was seated at a large wooden table doing her Potions homework by candlelight. She gave extra time and attention to this class because she intended to pursue a license in this field.

Someone standing behind her cleared his throat. "Hermione, we should talk."

"Harry,' she acknowledged, twisting in her chair to see him. He stood there with a pensive expression on his face. He kept placing his hands in and out of his pockets nervously as though he was searching for something but kept coming up empty-handed every time . "Why don't you sit down, Harry?"

He grasped the back of the chair and pulled it out from the table, wincing at the scrape of wood against stone. Harry sat down heavily as if he were an old man and turned in the chair to face her. "Hermione, last night. . . . I just wanted to kiss you. I wanted to see if there was something there. I didn't know that it would get so complicated."

"And it did. Because there is *something* there," Hermione said honestly.

Harry ran a hand through his thick black hair. "But, I'm with Ginny. And. . .I do care for her. She 's been the only girl I've ever dated that really mattered. She means a lot to me and not just because she's Ron's sister."

"I know she does, Harry, and I respect that." However, it hurt to hear it. "You've been seeing her for quite a while. And she's had a crush on you for years. You two have a history, what with the secret chamber and, you know. . . the big snake." Hermione was trying to be light and unconcerned. She only hope she could pull it off. She didn't need to make Harry feel guilty about his girlfriend. He was doing the right thing by staying with Ginny, at least that's what her head said. "And nothing happened between us, Harry. Not really."

"Only because I managed to stop," Harry contradicted. "I've never felt anything like that, Hermione. Not with Ginny. Not with Lavender. Not with Cho. Not with anyone but you. I wanted you so badly that I. . ." he let the sentence trail off. "I don't know what came over me," Harry took in a shaky breath. "It's like I'm seeing you for the first time or something." His eyes fastened on hers and they burned brightly.

Hermione met his eyes. "I feel the same way. You were always in the 'friend' category and I never bothered to see if you'd fit anywhere else."

Harry made a mournful sound. "But we can't do anything about it. Not now."

"I know." A fling with Harry could be disastrous. "If you broke up with Ginny to go out with me, it would upset Ron. We might lose him."

"It's not fair!" Harry cried, angry at life's evil sense of humor. "Why did it have to happen like this? If I was dating *anyone* else but her, I'd break up with them in a heartbeat."

"But you *are* dating her. There's no way of getting around that."

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," Harry beseeched her. " I feel like I'm being made to choose between you and my friendship with Ron."

"No, Harry. You shouldn't feel guilty. There's nothing we can do. I would lose Ron too and I swore to myself that I would never jeopardize my friendship with him again. He and I almost ruined it when we stopped dating." Her shoulders drooped. "Besides, there are no guarantees about us. We might not work out and I could end up losing both you and Ron."

Harry nodded, feeling the same way. The thought of losing both of his friends was unbearable. He'd spent the first eleven years of his life without love and companionship, he couldn't bear anymore of it. "So, we're doing the right thing? Not doing anything, I mean."

"Absolutely." Hermione agreed. She only wished she really believed it. She knew that a relationship with Harry would be something special, something to treasure. She hoped they weren't doing something stupid. After all, Greek tragedies were full of hapless young men and women who scorned a chance at true love and were damned for it.

They both stood up. "Friends?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Friends," Hermione responded firmly.

"Good." His arms automatically went out to hug her but she stepped back. An uncomfortable silence followed.

"Harry, I-I'm sorry I-"

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. "It's okay, Hermione." He held out his hand instead, willing to take anything she would give.

Hermione clasped it and tried to ignore the quiver resulting from that small innocuous touch. They didn't shake hands, though. Instead he held her hand in his, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. It was chivalrous and sweet -- something a suitor might have done in the Victorian age. Harry and Hermione stayed their for a long time, looking into each other's eyes and holding hands. Both of them were reluctant to break the contact, fearful that there wouldn't be a next time.

The entrance portal opened and they quickly let go, lest they be seen. Harry backed away. "Well, I guess I should. . .um, go."

"Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Hermione," he whispered, his heart in his eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione spent the next evening in the Potions classroom slaving over her seventh year project. Professor Snape had granted her unprecedented access to his supplies and classroom . He'd even given her a temporary password for the semester. Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that he was proud that one of his students was seeking a Potions designation. Although, he'd be damned before he admitted it, especially because she was one of those goody, goody Gryffindors.

She wrote furiously in her project journal, recording the various ingredients used and which filters were made. Hermione was trying to develop of a sleep potion that would produce some of the same results of the Imperius Curse. Only this potion would, hopefully, be deemed ethical by the Ministry of Magic. Her hope was that it would compel a person to do good acts. A person who wouldn't normally do them - like a Death Eater, for instance. Hermione had become obsessed with the idea since she'd discovered the Imperius Curse during her fourth year. Professor Snape had been very keen on her working on the potion immediately. She believed that Professor Dumbledore might want to push it through the Evaluation of Recent Potion and Charm Inventions sub-committee. She'd even been given permission to test it out on a dark creature such as a vampire or a hinkeypunk. It was dependent on a successful potion, of course.

Hermione was grateful for the scholarly distraction. Ginny and Harry had been playing yet another game of slap and tickle in the common room after dinner. This time it was over a quill. Hermione had retreated to her room, ostensibly to study but really to sulk. Halfway into her brooding, she'd felt guilty. The entire day had been one big drama. And the most frustrating thing about it was that she hadn't seen Malfoy at all. He was no doubt embroiled in some Slytherin plot that required his time and cunning. Hermione had hoped to cheer herself up with another round of snogging or at, the very least, a little flirting. She might not have Harry but she still had Malfoy. . .er, sort of. Not that Malfoy was the consolation prize. Neither one of them was, really. Hermione found herself hopelessly interested in both of them. She laughed wryly at that. Feast or famine indeed.

When the hour grew late, Hermione gathered her school books up in her trusty book bag. No breakthroughs had been made this evening. She'd been working for the better part of three hours and had taken copious notes on the process. Hopefully Snape would have some useful suggestions based on her initial results. Hermione decided to call it a night and try to get some sleep.

Hermione stepped out into the hallway and hurriedly walked to the looming staircase that led the way out of the dungeons. Two massive marble serpents graced either side of the grand staircase. Inside both of their mouths were perpetual flames that burned in honor of the Salazar Slytherin. Hermione had always hated going past them. She kept having the silly thought that one of them would reach out and snap at her. The dungeons, in general, were dank and forbidding. She loathed being there alone at night and tried to avoid it when she could. Unfortunately, she'd be doing a lot of it this year. As she stepped on the first stair, she was seized from behind. A hand snaked around her waist and she was pulled back against something solid and warm. Hermione let out a scream but it was muffled by a hand that clamped over her mouth. For a wild moment, she thought that one of the scary snakes had somehow gotten a hold of her. Hermione managed to gather her wits about her and dropped her heavy book bag on her attacker's foot. He let her go with a muffled curse.

Hermione whirled around and snatched her wand from her robe pocket. "Expel-"

"Now, now," Draco drawled. He was dressed in his customary Slytherin green. "Let's not be too hasty." He moved forward a bit and winced at the pain. Draco paused to wrap his hands around his pulverized foot. "Dammit, Granger, what do you keep in there? Bricks?"

"Malfoy!" Hermione cried.

"Why are you always shouting my name?" A slow smile slid across his mouth. "And not in the good way." He fished his wand out and muttered a healing charm.

Hermione ignored the sexual comment. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Oh, what's a matter, Granger? Did I scare you?" Malfoy taunted, putting his wand away.

"No, but I was about to scare *you*. I doubt Madame Pomfrey could have put you back together again." She blew out a deep breath, calming down a bit.

"Ooh, I *am* frightened," Draco shot back. He looked anything but. Then, he gave her a speculative look followed by a faux shudder. "I think you'd better hold me."

"I think not," she said dryly. "Why are you skulking around down here anyway? Or is this how you trawl for women? Jump out of the shadows and spring upon them?" Hermione said sarcastically. "You know," Hermione ventured. "That might explain your reputation."

Draco laughed with wicked amusement. "Ah, so you've been asking around about me."

"No, I saw your room number in the girl's lavatory," she fibbed. "You know, owl for a good time. . ."

He didn't seem to mind. "It wasn't in Myrtle's toilet, was it?" he asked. "Saw her in the lake once. She was giving me the eye."

"Great, even ghost girls like you," she muttered.

"What was that, Granger?"

"I said, I have to be going now." She hoisted her book bag up on her shoulder.

"You're going to break your back before you graduate," Malfoy predicted, eyeing the menacing book bag.

"Some of us actually study," Hermione said archly.

"And I am one of those, Granger. I get top marks," he said defensively.

"Yes, just under mine, if I recall." Hermione grinned at him before she turned around and began to ascend the snake stairs.

"Running away, Granger?"

"No, Malfoy, I'm going to bed." She shot him a dirty look over her shoulder. "Alone."

"I never figured you for a coward," he challenged.

"Only when it comes to broomsticks," she shot back.

"Oh, I don't know about that. I think you handled mine nicely."

She threw down her bag and turned around to glare at him. "Do you have to make everything sexual?"

"I just enjoy teasing you." He slowly walked up the stairs with a predatory gleam in his eyes. "If you don' t want me to chase you, Granger, you shouldn't run." He stopped at the stair just below her, they were very nearly eye to eye. And their mouths almost touched.

"W-what are you doing?" She asked shakily.

"Tempting you. Is it working?"

She nodded.

"Good." His mouth seized hers in another kiss. When he was through, Hermione had given into temptation and it felt very, very good.

Draco smiled at her dazed look. His lips rimmed his mouth as though her were savoring the sweet taste of her. "I think we should hold the rest of this meeting in private."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry pulled his mouth away from Ginny's searching one. "Harry," she panted, irritated. "What's wrong?" They were laying on top of the covers in his bed.

The room was a complete disaster. The floor was strewn with his the various parts of his Quidditch gear. Ron's school supplies were spread out on the floor because he'd been looking for his inkwell. The desks held an assortment of Quidditch magazines, Wizard candy, and trading cards. Hedwig was sleeping in her cage and Pig was, thankfully, off on a mail run.

Ginny had been waiting for Harry outside his room."I'm sorry, Ginny, I just have a lot on my mind." Harry hated lying to her but the truth would be much more painful.

All day, his thoughts centered on Hermione and that betrayed look she'd had on her face at breakfast. He ached for her, for Ginny, and himself. He could already tell that this wouldn't end well.

"Like what?" Ginny asked, playfully nipping his earlobe. They were laying side by side with her cuddled against his chest.

Harry was torn. He normally relished these small touches. He'd always been starved for physical affection. The Dursleys may have given him food and shelter but they had never given him love. He'd had to content himself with wrapping his arms around his body at night and imagining it was another who held him. Consequently, he'd been ecstatic when regular affection started coming his way. He enjoyed Ron's frequent shoulder pats and rough, back-pounding hugs. Until recent events had changed their friendship, Harry had particularly liked Hermione's slow gentle hugs because she let him hold her as long as he wanted to. When he'd gotten older, his need for affection had caused him to cut a swath through the fifth and sixth year girls. Oh, he hadn't slept with all of them but he'd held hands and hugged quite a lot of them. He'd snogged a more select group. It wasn't until he started dating Ginny that he had a regular diet of gentle touches. It was one of the things he liked about her most. So, it broke his heart to lay in her arms and lie to her. "School. Quidditch. Stuff."

She paused, a teasing grin on her face. "Ah, I see. And how long is this schooly Quidditchy stuff gonna be on your mind?" Her hand swept up to touch his tousled hair.

He thought of Hermione with her big brown eyes and her bashful smile. Then, he recalled their nuclear kiss. "Quite a while, Ginny. Quite a while," Harry replied seriously.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, Hermione were busy breaking about five school rules. She and Draco were walking shoulder to shoulder down a dusty corridor. They had snuck onto the moldering ruin that was the third floor and he was leading her down the labyrinthine corridor. The walls were fraught with spider webbing and small little creatures scurried about in the darkness. Bits of broken gargoyles, which used to perch on the walls, littered the floors. Thankfully, torches on the floor sprung to life as they neared them, but they failed to offer adequate illumination.

Every now and then Draco would take her hand or brush against her as they walked. They hadn't spoken since the staircase but it was an amiable silence. She knew that he was taking her to a make out spot and she didn't mind a bit.

Draco cleared this throat. "You surprise me, Granger. I thought you'd be quoting the school rules we're breaking by now."

"No," she let a superior smile slip. "I'm feeling all nostalgic." She had gone up here when she was a scared little first year. "This place brings back some memories."

Draco frowned. "Memories of whom?"

"Harry," she said lightly.

His expression darkened.

"And Ron."

He narrowed his eyes. "I see. Well, you *have* been a busy girl, haven't you?"

Hermione couldn't contain her mischievous grin. "Actually, we were all up here together."

Draco tripped over a bit of gargoyle. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard you."

"No, you didn't," she said sweetly.

"*You* had a menage a' trois with Weasley and Potter?" He sounded horrified.

Hermione began laughing then. Great gales of triumphant laughter that bent her over at the waist and caused her to have trouble breathing. When she managed to look up and see Malfoy standing there with his arms crossed and an Imperius scowl on his handsome face it only made her laugh harder.

Her merriment was contagious. Malfoy released a involuntary chuckle at seeing her so happy. She was really quite beautiful when her face was flushed and her guard was down. "Care to share the joke, Granger?"

She finally fanned her face and took a great shuddering breath. "Oh, I'm sorry it's just that, well, you should have seen your face!" she crowed. "I didn't think I could pull that off with giving myself away. I'm a terrible liar, you know."

Draco sighed, grateful that it hadn't been true. He'd thought he was going to be her first. He didn't know why exactly but that was very important to him. "Congratulations, you were very convincing. Can we go then? Or would like to invent a 'dirty' secret about giving Neville Longbottom sexual favors?"

She wrinkled her nose at that. Neville was a nice guy but he wasn't bedroom material. "We can go." They resumed walking and Hermione sighed. This was the best she'd felt all day. Malfoy had a way of taking her mind off things.

"So, are you going to tell me what really happened," he asked, a muscle working in his jaw.

"Why, are you jealous?"

He merely gave her a look.

"Oh all right, Mr. Pouty."

He wore the scowl again.

"Lighten up, Malfoy! We were twelve and we didn't mean to go up here in the first place. And for another, eww! You have a very dirty mind."

Draco winked at her. "If I do, you certainly enjoy rolling around in the muck with me."

"Ohhhh. . ." she said with growing irritation. "Muck off, Malfoy."

Draco laughed. "Remind me to teach you some decent swear words, Granger."

She bet he knew some choice ones but she wasn't interested right now. "By the way, why are we up here? The Gryffindor smooch spot is in the Astronomy Tower."

"Yes, well, we could just set up shop beside Weasley and Potter. Then, you'd feel right at home," he countered.

"Point taken." She was silent for a moment. "You know what? You remind me of those horrible Muggle boys who take their dates to horror movies so they can 'comfort' them."

"Don't ever compare me to a Muggle again and did I say everyone comes up here? Most Slytherins snog under the humpbacked witch statue," he shuddered. "Don't ask me why. We Malfoys have had a *special* spot for a century."

Why didn't that surprise her? Hermione glanced over at him. "And your going to snog a Muggle-born there? Wouldn't that make great grandfather or whoever made it turn over in his grave?"

"I expect," he said with relish.

Hermione frowned. "Is that what I am to you? A way to 'stick it' to your father?"

One pale eyebrow rose. "Such imagery, Granger. Now, who's making everything sexual?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Come off your high horse, Granger. You're getting a little thrill out of this too."

That was true enough, but she wasn't willing to admit that to him so she changed the subject. "How far away is this?" She felt like they'd traversed most of the hallway.

"Why? You feel like backing out?"

Hermione's chin rose. "Of course not."

"Good," he came to a halt before an unlikely wall. It wasn't covered in spider webs like the rest of the them but it was every bit as dark and forbidding. "Because we're here." Draco withdrew his wand and tapped the stone while murmuring a password so low that she couldn't hear it.

Before her eyes, the blocks of stone liquified, merging into a grey jiggling mass. Malfoy stepped to the side and gestured that she should enter her first. "Through that?"

He smirked. "And they claim you Gryffindors have courage."

Hermione gritted her teeth and propelled herself through the liquid mass. It was curiously warm and welcoming - quite like bath water. The substance merely rolled over her and admitted her to the room beyond. She gasped at what she saw. Apparently, Draco had his own private Den of Iniquity.